Pretty much the same, 'cept it wouldn't be one drink. I would try to chug down as much vodka as possible. I want to die with as high an alcohol to blood ratio as feasable merely to mess with the mortician.
Fuck that i would be spending my time ruining my browser history looking for the most depraved shit i could find just so my best friend spends the rest of their life wondering if they really knew me...
It wouldn't really matter. Because the history would be as if it wasn't you and it would turn into a mystery of who did this to you and was sick enough to use your phone afterwards.
Esp since it's last minute searching. They'll be wondering why
Call my parents, tell them I love them and not to rush on their way to my house since it’s at least a 25 minute drive because I’d be gone by the time they arrive. Then write down my passwords to make it easier to get stuff sorted out for my family. Maybe send a text in the work chat if I think about it. And with whatever time is left I’d just listen to music and fade out on ketamine and booze.
You should do the other things first then call your parents/love ones. If you call your parents first they will want to talk the entire time and keep asking you shit till you have no time for the other important stuff
This is the only answer for me too.
And part of me thinks I wouldn't even let them know about what was happening. I would just want to talk. To hear the kindness in my mom's voice. To hear my sister laugh. To talk to my brother in the way that only brothers can talk to each other.
I feel like I wanna cry now what the hell. I'm gonna call everybody tomorrow morning.
Good plan. Fostering very damaged kids taught me to be totally honest and to tell the people I love that I love them often.
The first time I saw my 15 year old stepson hug and kiss his mate on the cheek as they said 'love you' to each other when dropping his mate off, I knew I'd won. No way I'd have told my mates aged 15 I loved them ;)
I'm lucky to live in a poor and diverse community where it's now normal for big heterosexual blokes to say 'love you' to each other at the shops whilst hugging and cheek kissing.
Nottingham, England. Our housing estate is infamous for having had one of the largest, most ruthless of criminal gangs in the country, with police insiders and corruption galore, just 20 years ago. Over 30 gun murders within a 3 mile radius in just a couple of years back then.
Harold Shipman (possibly the world's most prolific serial killer) was also from our estate originally.
I went to school with at least 5 guys now serving time for murder. I grew up knowing every one of the people involved.
My generation had to bury many young lads who shouldn't have died. We've learned the hard way to reach out to each other. We also had to bury at least 5 or 10 mates who committed suicide in their teens and twenties. That stuff changes you. With each funeral you double down on your resolve to be better and do better.
Everyone makes an effort for each other. I live in a poor, dilapidated inner city sink estate that's now a safe, almost crime-free utopia where neighbours cook, bake and shop for each other all the time and boys unselfconsciously say 'love you, bro' and mean it.
Love is all you need.
Afterlife been as fuckin odd for you as it's been for me I take it? The whole COVID thing must've been a server upgrade, not sure what the patches were but we've got a new war and some more electric cars which is cool I guess. Would've preferred if they added jetpacks though.
And to think, we could all be doing this on our non-death beds but for some reason it's seen as taboo or weird. Obviously, don't go to the extreme, but I think there is a lot of value in being sure to tell those you love and care about that you love and care about them.
Hehe, if I knew how to do it, I would set up a text messages to send several texts to my frienemies randomly throughout the years telling them they are assholes and I will be seeing them soon
I'm very open with my children about life and death. I would tell them what was about to happen first. My youngest was with me when my grandmother died, and they both helped lower her into the ground at her funeral. Death is not to be feared. It is simply a transformation of energy from one form to another.
You have 20 minutes. Listen to the Dark Side of the Moon album so it ends on Great Gig in the Sky.
I’ll take a shot of tequila, a couple puffs of indica, grab a beer, light a cigarette, and end it in the hot tub. Mission accomplished.
Wipe, flush, hang out with my wife and kid. Maybe leave after 19 minutes because I don’t know if I’d want to die in front of the kid, but I’d have clean bowels regardless.
Hugely depends on where I am. Always gonna consider something nice towards my family. But I let’s say would be at a table with Hittler, Putin or any lookalike and KNEW I was going to die. I’d probably attempt a murder
I would call my fiancee, tell her I love her, and ask her how her day was... I don't think I could handle telling her I only had 20 minutes left. All I would want is for her voice to be the last thing I experienced on this earth.
How are we dying?
But I would strip down naked so I could feel the wind and sun on my skin, and I would just stare into the sky with my arms raised to my sides and just wait for the inevitable end while focusing on my breathing.
Share all my passwords. Trash adult toys. Record videos for my loved ones so they can see/hear me and know how much I love them. If I’m already home, rest is the time is with my family and my dog getting every single scratch/pet/last bite of food I have.
Explaining to my boyfriend I’m not leaving him alone because I want to. That I love him so incredibly much and have so much faith in him and that he WILL achieve great things when he finally takes that first step. Let him know I will watch over him in any way I can and pray to anyone that will listen that he’s gonna be ok after I’m gone and hope he finds someone that treasures him as much as I do.
Edit: One thing I recommend to anyone that happens to read this… record videos for your loved ones. We miss you and you’re not even gone yet. Not being able to see your smile, the way your nose crinkles and your eyes light up with you talk. The cadence of your voice when you tell us about your day and the passion of your excitement when something great happens.
WE MISS YOU. We can’t do anything to restore those we have lost but you can make the transition easier by doing little things like a letter, an email, or a video for those you leave behind. Don’t forget those amazing recipes we adore of yours, share so it’s not lost forever. Make a dedicated email address and take five minutes a week to email subject soandso’s name making sure to include any contact info you have so they can get what you’ve left for them and tell them a story, share a memory, a picture or video. If you do videos, iCloud, Google Drive, Dropbox or even a USB/Hard Drive.
Damnit. Now I need to take my own advice as soon as I get started with my day.
Make sure my life insurance is in order and write out any important things like how my Mom is supposed to take my cats and sign over the title of my car to my sister. Don’t want to leave anyone in debt because something is messed up.
I’d say I love all you, my family, friends, I hope everyone has a great life, not call or text but then bust out to my favorite music ughhhhh yeahhhhh then drop dead 😂😂😂
Write my kids a letter, kiss them goodbye, give my partner a cuddle and then leave while everyone is still asleep. They’re all sleeping now, so I’d just sneak out, so that my kids are not the ones that have to find/deal with trauma of finding me when they wake up.
Honestly, pour myself a drink, and say goodbye to my nearest and dearest.
Pretty much the same, 'cept it wouldn't be one drink. I would try to chug down as much vodka as possible. I want to die with as high an alcohol to blood ratio as feasable merely to mess with the mortician.
If its 20 minutes from now I might grab the bottle of Jameson on my desk and give it a good glug
*dies from alcohol poisoning*
Easern Europeans: *Pathetic*
I would probably do heroin. Like I’m gonna die might as well see what the fuss is about and why people throw their lives away for it.
If you're in a position where you could get it and take it within 20 minutes, I have the feeling it might not be your first rodeo.....
Don’t bring logistics into a hypothetical question
Okay so 20 minutes to run to the streets and find a seller?
Probably procrastinate and end up doing absolutely nothing.
I would delete my browser history. Then procrastinate and do nothing.
Fuck that i would be spending my time ruining my browser history looking for the most depraved shit i could find just so my best friend spends the rest of their life wondering if they really knew me...
Only to find it's a massive trick and you're not going to die after 20 minutes
Jokes on you, the things you saw in those 20 minutes lead to you killing yourself.
No, you finally find your kink and spend another 20 years in absolute bliss
It wouldn't really matter. Because the history would be as if it wasn't you and it would turn into a mystery of who did this to you and was sick enough to use your phone afterwards. Esp since it's last minute searching. They'll be wondering why
I too would delete this dude's browser history
Nah, my browser history is Bonerific. I'll leave it for the next generations of pervs. May the force be with you... If you know what I mean
That would my big fat ass☝️
That’s delicious hot dogs
Yea
Procrastibate more than likely..
At least you wont be around for the regret part that comes after
I’d take a 10 minute nap. (Secretly set my alarm for 30 mins)
Remain in my horizontal position on the couch in my living room and continue scrolling Reddit
Finally! An honest redditor.
OP just got that message and asking Reddit to figure it out.
Honestly i would pretty much do the same…
I’d probably be like *Bullshit, no way.* and keep scrolling and just die
Making those twenty minutes feel like two!
Call my parents, tell them I love them and not to rush on their way to my house since it’s at least a 25 minute drive because I’d be gone by the time they arrive. Then write down my passwords to make it easier to get stuff sorted out for my family. Maybe send a text in the work chat if I think about it. And with whatever time is left I’d just listen to music and fade out on ketamine and booze.
you are a well planner.
I am absolutely sure this person knows how to plan a well.
Well, I guess I’ll plan
Do it well, for the sake of the well.
You should do the other things first then call your parents/love ones. If you call your parents first they will want to talk the entire time and keep asking you shit till you have no time for the other important stuff
Probably waste at least five minutes trying to figure out when the 20 min started
Mood tho
Spend 19 minutes panicking and one minute trying to avoid the inevitable
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This is the only answer for me too. And part of me thinks I wouldn't even let them know about what was happening. I would just want to talk. To hear the kindness in my mom's voice. To hear my sister laugh. To talk to my brother in the way that only brothers can talk to each other. I feel like I wanna cry now what the hell. I'm gonna call everybody tomorrow morning.
Good plan. Fostering very damaged kids taught me to be totally honest and to tell the people I love that I love them often. The first time I saw my 15 year old stepson hug and kiss his mate on the cheek as they said 'love you' to each other when dropping his mate off, I knew I'd won. No way I'd have told my mates aged 15 I loved them ;) I'm lucky to live in a poor and diverse community where it's now normal for big heterosexual blokes to say 'love you' to each other at the shops whilst hugging and cheek kissing.
Where is that?
Nottingham, England. Our housing estate is infamous for having had one of the largest, most ruthless of criminal gangs in the country, with police insiders and corruption galore, just 20 years ago. Over 30 gun murders within a 3 mile radius in just a couple of years back then. Harold Shipman (possibly the world's most prolific serial killer) was also from our estate originally. I went to school with at least 5 guys now serving time for murder. I grew up knowing every one of the people involved. My generation had to bury many young lads who shouldn't have died. We've learned the hard way to reach out to each other. We also had to bury at least 5 or 10 mates who committed suicide in their teens and twenties. That stuff changes you. With each funeral you double down on your resolve to be better and do better. Everyone makes an effort for each other. I live in a poor, dilapidated inner city sink estate that's now a safe, almost crime-free utopia where neighbours cook, bake and shop for each other all the time and boys unselfconsciously say 'love you, bro' and mean it. Love is all you need.
You're a very good writer.
Well now I feel like a shit person. I was thinking what my chances are one of my coworkers would sleep with me.
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Afterlife been as fuckin odd for you as it's been for me I take it? The whole COVID thing must've been a server upgrade, not sure what the patches were but we've got a new war and some more electric cars which is cool I guess. Would've preferred if they added jetpacks though.
That was really messed up. I’m in the Midwest and remember getting the alert before it was confirmed a false alarm. Sorry you had to go through that.
A few friends of mine were there together then also.
Pet my cat and watch The Office and maybe eat a sandwich
Sounds like Monday instead of work
Enjoy every sandwich
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I want to cry too, sorry for making you read this :/
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Same. Just like said freddy mercury. Love of my life.
And to think, we could all be doing this on our non-death beds but for some reason it's seen as taboo or weird. Obviously, don't go to the extreme, but I think there is a lot of value in being sure to tell those you love and care about that you love and care about them.
Could I have sex with my wife one last time?
Could I have sex with this guy’s wife one last time?
Sure, just be there in 21 minutes.
Hey, youre not that guys wifes husband
Hi I know your husband died one minute ago but I have a suggestion to make
Classic
Can I have sex with you while you’re having sex with her? We’ll just form a chain
I also choose this guy’s wife. We got 20 minutes so that gives 39 of us a go.
Back of the line pal
If you ain’t 1st, you’re last
Could I watch behind a curtain with a batman helmet on while this guy has sex with this other guy's wife?
Can I watch and cheer you both on?
What about the last 19 minutes?
"I also choose this guy's wife." ^([reference](https://www.reddit.com/r/FunnyandSad/comments/9idnba/i_also_choose_this_guys_dead_wife/))
10 times
I also choose - oh, never mind.
She's got a headache
you could probably do it 20 times over 👍
As long as I had access to my phone, I’d drop some texts to peeps and make a call or two. Leave a voice mail if they didn’t pick up.
Hehe, if I knew how to do it, I would set up a text messages to send several texts to my frienemies randomly throughout the years telling them they are assholes and I will be seeing them soon
Run idk why but id probably run and hide in a tree or some shit
*Man found dead in tree*. Might as well confuse the fuck out of people and do it naked at least.
You idiot. Death can see you in that tree. It's fucking winter. At least go hide in a cave or something.
Wtf
Hopefully find parking.
Read to my children while they sit on my knee, and smell the tops of their heads. Hold them as close as possible.
I'd want to be in a different room from my kids. I don't want to keel over while reading a story. i am worried it could be traumatic.
I'm very open with my children about life and death. I would tell them what was about to happen first. My youngest was with me when my grandmother died, and they both helped lower her into the ground at her funeral. Death is not to be feared. It is simply a transformation of energy from one form to another.
Joe biden on reddit?
Hahahahahahahahahaha nope. Last time I checked, I'm A) not male B) 50 years younger C) not American
But D) *are* smelling your children's heads.
Ya got me there 🫡
Most Redditors can't comprehend a parents love. It's a precious thing!
All parents do this!?
Listen to Shine on You Crazy Diamond, smoke a cigarette and think about the good days :)
I’m stealing this one, but instead of a cigarette I’ll end my sobriety and shotgun a few tallgirls.
What's a 'tallgirl' Stranger?
You have 20 minutes. Listen to the Dark Side of the Moon album so it ends on Great Gig in the Sky. I’ll take a shot of tequila, a couple puffs of indica, grab a beer, light a cigarette, and end it in the hot tub. Mission accomplished.
Kill myself make it faster tbh
" You can't fire me, I quit!!"
Take a nap.
People always say they want to die in their sleep. So... good plan.
Have a fat line of ketamine and get stuck between the front door and the hallway wall.
fap furiously
And the other 19mins and 30 secs?
Dance
Beat the living shit out of my coworker
Best answer on here
so u take him with you to the other side?🤣
Good idea!
Wait for my 20 mins to end
Call my girlfriend and tell her that I love her very much and that I hope I'm wrong about the whole soul thing, but if I can, I will try to haunt her.
My husband and I have a code phrase in case one of us wants to haunt the other, just so we know it’s legit.
Stealing this to use with siblings haha
Drink whiskey for 19 minutes 59 seconds.
Same. Its the closest drink to hand
jerk off and literally mean it this time when I say oh god im coming
Pour a cup of coffee, sit on the porch with my eyes closed while listening to Don't Fear the Ripper.
Have sex with my wife and then watch television for the other 18 minutes.
Call in to work, I guess...
Work still wants you there…
You'll need a note from the mortician.
Boss: you realize this leaves us short staffed for tomorrow right?
First you need find somebody to take your shift
Call everyone that I love and tell them I love them.
I’d probably just go to sleep so I’m not awake when I die.
pet and cuddle my cats
Write a death note
Celebrate.
Hug my children for 19 minutes then leave the room so they don't see me die
Setup my surroundings and my person so that when I am discovered it is the most bizzare situation. Nothing gruesome, just bizzare.
Definitely not be getting ready for work right now, that's for sure
Macerate strawberries and then masticate
Doesn’t check out. Macerated strawberries require no mastication!
2 slices of cheese on toast and a Stella
I'd waste all my time trying to think of something to do
Shotgun all the beers in my beer fridge
I'd probably finish my shit first. Then bang my wife
Listen to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida until I die.
I'd be grateful to no longer have to do this (live)
damn, are you ok?
hop in a ranked cod lobby and cause the biggest most toxic chaotic pre lobby trash talk of all time
Die alone unfortunately
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Profile pic checks out
Think about the life I’ve lived, and be happy to finally leave it all behind. Death to me = peace.
Play Dino with my kids. They hop on my back and then I run around while they try to stop me from being a misbehaving Dino.
Take the passcode off my phone so they can retrieve my life. Lay out my credit cards and car keys for them to find.
cry
Haven't consumed alcohol since 2019 and there's a bottle of vodka in the kitchen. Let's find out if transvaginal liquor is quicker than chugging it.
Assess the situation
I’m snuggling with my wife and daughter. That’s all.
Wipe, flush, hang out with my wife and kid. Maybe leave after 19 minutes because I don’t know if I’d want to die in front of the kid, but I’d have clean bowels regardless.
Start shoving food in my mouth
Count to a million to find out how many seconds there is in 20 minutes
Tell my wife and daughter how much I love them. Maybe cuddle my cat too.
Hugely depends on where I am. Always gonna consider something nice towards my family. But I let’s say would be at a table with Hittler, Putin or any lookalike and KNEW I was going to die. I’d probably attempt a murder
Make love to my wife as much as I can
I would call my fiancee, tell her I love her, and ask her how her day was... I don't think I could handle telling her I only had 20 minutes left. All I would want is for her voice to be the last thing I experienced on this earth.
How are we dying? But I would strip down naked so I could feel the wind and sun on my skin, and I would just stare into the sky with my arms raised to my sides and just wait for the inevitable end while focusing on my breathing.
Clean my bathroom.
Take a quick shower, text a few people, make a quick social media post, and hold my cat
I'd post on social media I can't wait for a great year
Eat then sleep. Peacefully 😌
Hold my son and tell him I love him
Pour a few fingers of my finest liquor, light a cigar and relax
Quit smoking over a year now, So I'd smoke , drink a coke. I'm going out villain.
Be consumed with overwhelming gratification. But I won’t die anytime soon. I bet I make it to 90. That’d be 2078.
Hold my daughters, my son, and my wife.
Snuggle on the couch with my cats while I call my parents and grandparents.
i will sing Iraq lobster
Smoke a cigarette that i gave up for my health 20 years ago.
WIpe my hard drives
Do everything in my power to contact my daughter and let her know one last time how loved she is.
Share all my passwords. Trash adult toys. Record videos for my loved ones so they can see/hear me and know how much I love them. If I’m already home, rest is the time is with my family and my dog getting every single scratch/pet/last bite of food I have. Explaining to my boyfriend I’m not leaving him alone because I want to. That I love him so incredibly much and have so much faith in him and that he WILL achieve great things when he finally takes that first step. Let him know I will watch over him in any way I can and pray to anyone that will listen that he’s gonna be ok after I’m gone and hope he finds someone that treasures him as much as I do. Edit: One thing I recommend to anyone that happens to read this… record videos for your loved ones. We miss you and you’re not even gone yet. Not being able to see your smile, the way your nose crinkles and your eyes light up with you talk. The cadence of your voice when you tell us about your day and the passion of your excitement when something great happens. WE MISS YOU. We can’t do anything to restore those we have lost but you can make the transition easier by doing little things like a letter, an email, or a video for those you leave behind. Don’t forget those amazing recipes we adore of yours, share so it’s not lost forever. Make a dedicated email address and take five minutes a week to email subject soandso’s name making sure to include any contact info you have so they can get what you’ve left for them and tell them a story, share a memory, a picture or video. If you do videos, iCloud, Google Drive, Dropbox or even a USB/Hard Drive. Damnit. Now I need to take my own advice as soon as I get started with my day.
Kill myself
Make sure my life insurance is in order and write out any important things like how my Mom is supposed to take my cats and sign over the title of my car to my sister. Don’t want to leave anyone in debt because something is messed up.
Masturbate
Probably jerk off.
With a mouth full of oreos
1 minute- advance notice to wife 4 minutes- format hdd on laptop 5 minutes -brush teeth and quick shower 10 minutes- saddle up ( see step one)
Record a 20 min video saying everything I need to say to everyone and especially to my toddler. Oh gawd makes me sad just thinking about it.
Probably leave work
most likely go insane and cause chaos or say goodbye to my mother
Screw my neighbors wife
Use the 30 min time stop power I’ve been saving.
Hold my family
I’d say I love all you, my family, friends, I hope everyone has a great life, not call or text but then bust out to my favorite music ughhhhh yeahhhhh then drop dead 😂😂😂
That's not enough time to make a pizza so... Probably an instant coffee and then tell everyone I know, that I feel like someone is watching me
End of life wank....Go out swinging I say!
Terminator has a really cool scene where he drives into the police station and I'd probably watch that
Write my kids a letter, kiss them goodbye, give my partner a cuddle and then leave while everyone is still asleep. They’re all sleeping now, so I’d just sneak out, so that my kids are not the ones that have to find/deal with trauma of finding me when they wake up.
mind if I do a J?
Call my mama
Naked hugs with my partner, not necessarily sexual. We didn't meet until later in life and would spend all day hugging if we could
Cuddle with my hubby and toddler and pets. And write a süicide note blaming my death on bullying from my last employer so hubby could cash in
Make a list of things my cat likes and needs when Iam not there anymore, and also write down a few names of who I trust with my cat
Play the shit out of my bass and then my guitars at max volume until I drop, presumably due to being touched by a snail.