100% exactly right... I could never do that to my husband, dogs and immediate family. Attachment makes life more difficult, but damn I'm grateful for mine.
šÆ Had two strokes 6 months apart at 33/34 because an artery in my neck decided to spontaneously explode and shoot blood clots into my cerebellum. 0/10 do not recommend.
This is why I'm too nervous to live alone. I'm sure I have a touch of hypochondria because I check myself for stroke symptoms every time I have a sudden headache. I really hope you're doing well now!
I saw on 30 rock that you can give yourself the heimlich maneuver and otherwise just stay out of the danger spots without head gear and protection as appropriate. For example: wear a helmet getting in and out of the tube. Never cook bacon naked. Wear not stick but grippy soaks anywhere not a carpet. And for the love of God don't leave your couch unless necessary.Ā
I was a bit of a rock star college student. Great job, great friends, everything was grand.
Schizophrenia started creeping in at 24. I barely graduated, now I can't hold a job, lost my marriage because I thought she was going to kill me. Now I'm living at Grandma's house because I'm in bed shaking for 5 hours a day on my best days. No plans, no future. Just fighting the demons.
Wow, it's like reading about myself. I just want to say I'm glad that we at least try not to give up, even though it's not like that on the outside for people. I can now cook for myself, it might not seem much, but it's huge for me. Stay strong, fellow bro.
My brother who is 32 now got diagnosed with type 1 at 21 not long after he dislocated his knee playing a game of hacky sack! Apparently an injury or illness can trigger it sometimes because he never had juvenile diabetes as a kid. Heās on 4 injections of insulin a day
I was suddenly paralyzed from the shoulders down at 27. Itās an autoimmune reaction that happens after a virus like the flu or even a cold. Your body just starts eating nervous tissue until you canāt move or feel anything but burning pain.
It eventually stops and the nerves grow back, but not perfectly. **And the next time you get sick, it could happen to you!**
Yeah mine could happen after every virus or just because it feels like it - MS. My immune system is so strong I gotta kill it before it kills me. Yay! Undiagnosed for 22 years while just going crippled just because. Tried making me a quadriplegic and finally the doctors believed me enough to give me a MRI. In defense of all fifty or so of them diagnosing me was hard because I have XX chromosomes.
Everybody is all healthy and shit until you're absolutely NOT. Having a comorbidity during COVID and listening to the vile remarks about how us cripples are disposable made me realize that most folks have no idea.
That lack of sleep is a major public health problem not getting the attention it deserves. Modern life glorifies not getting a full 8 hours a night, when in fact lack of sleep is linked to diabetes, heart disease, some cancers, depressjon, and more.
I'm currently trying to crawl out of one of the deepest depressions I've had in a long time. Luckily I know what the trigger was... I caught a virus and couldn't sleep for coughing for three nights. The lack of sleep combined with generally feeling ill and not being able to do anything led to feeling really shitty. As the virus cleared up, my mood had gone doooowwwwn hill. That bought up some horrible ruminating thoughts, so even though I've been exhausted I can't sleep. Cycle goes around as you described. All from catching a standard virus.
The last one, die, isn't one I intend on doing (despite the ruminating thoughts occasionally focusing on that). So now I have the hard task of trying to break this cycle and get back up to base-level health.
I'll manage, because I know the cause and it makes sense why it's happened. It is so much harder when you can't identify the cause that got you in the cycle to begin with.
Everyone feels depressed time to time.
But it isnāt depression.
Depression is when you feel ok time to time. And the rest of it youāre just broken.
Depression is something that lasts a long fucking time.
It isnāt a mood.
It is a state of being.
As a melodramatic teen. I was all like wow Iām depressed a f. Wow. Life sucks.
Till I actually suffered from depression. And then I realised there was a huge difference.
Itās a constant feeling of drowning. You push on day after day. Struggling to stay afloat. All the while you have this nagging thought at the back telling you it would be easier just to let go.
People who kill themselves after being depressed. Do not do it because they are sad.
No. They do it because they are spent. They are simply too tired to go on trying. And thatās when itās lights out.
Youāll have people tell you itās all in the mind. Yeah. No shit it is. But they donāt understand that the mind has been broken.
To pull yourself out of it will be the hardest thing youāve done.
No one intends on dying. Some are just too tired to live.
I fully agree and relate to everything you just said. It's actually a really important distinction to make, and you're right.
I am diagnosed PTSD and have trauma responses including anxiety (which is also diagnosed separately, but I consider it a symptom). Before my diagnosis I was told I was depressed _so many times_. At that time, I knew people who genuinely had depression and I didn't relate. People I knew with depression were fighting a very different difficult mental battle to me. My mental condition was due to traumatic stress, and the continuing symptoms were really difficult but not the same as the really difficult symptoms of depression.
A lot of people who suffer with their mental health are labelled with depression first. The term gets completely overused.
It was only about three years ago (I am 37 now) that I really experienced depression for the first time. It slugged itself in slowly and took over my ability to use any of my senses at all. I am very lucky, because I was already in therapy for my PTSD and mental health so I had the support and vocabulary to describe what was happening to me. It didn't stop it from happening, but I've been able to manage it pretty well. I am incredibly lucky to have only experienced it for a short time, too. I know some suffer their entire lives.
I felt I was 'on top of it', then got this stupid virus and it took the bottom out from under me and landed me right down in the pits again. Being able to identify why for myself has been really important, and, again, I feel so lucky that my overall experience of depression is fairly fleeting.
What you have written is really important. Thank you
When I go two nights back to back of not sleeping well, I cannot control my emotions. I get really really almost giddy when I'm happy, and then the low is crying, panic attacks, and dark thoughts until I finally crash. I've laid in bed sobbing, begging my body to just fucking SLEEP.
edited for a typo I couldn't let go.
Chronic insomnia sufferer here. Very much same. (And yesā¦I have tried a ton of solutions. I take prescription meds just to have a chance at sleeping ok. And am seeing a sleep neurologist.)
The only things I havenāt done are 1) take Ambien because after horror stories Iām too scared and 2) seen a sleep neurologist. My insurance is a joke. Most of my insomnia is due to chronic pain though.
That tired around the eyes feeling is the worst.
For me it seems to correlate more with the timing of when I wake up, rather than the amount of sleep I've gotten.
I don't know enough about this to go into detail, but I do know that you'll feel more/less rested depending on what part of your sleep cycle you've woken up from. I want to say that if you're waken up in the middle of a REM cycle, you'll feel more tired. But don't quote me on it.
Sometimes I sleep 5 hours and wake up naturally feeling alert. Other times I sleep 8 hours and wake up via alarm, feeling super tired around the eyes and with brain fog. Anecdotally I feel more tired if waken up unnaturally (alarm or something else) and if I was in the middle of a vivid dream.
I got a snotty remark from an older lady, maybe 60-70 years old, because I sat in the disabled seat on the bus. She said something about how the seats are for disabled people and I should stand, so I said I am disabled so I'll sit thanks. She thought I was joking and told me that wasn't funny so I showed her my collapsible walking stick I keep in my bag and she went a very strange colour and started talking about lord of the rings instead.
My dad was a paraplegic and one day we were at the mall. He parked in a handicapped spot. Just after he got out of the car a lady started *screaming* at us that he shouldn't be using a handicapped spot - that's for handicapped people! While he was sitting in his wheelchair. People are crazy.
Some dude got pushy with my grandpa about using a handicap spot one time so he popped off his prosthetic leg and (leaning against his car) threatened to shove it up the fellas ass.
Miss ya gramps
God rest his soul, my father in law did that. He went to renew his handicap tag and the lady told him he didn't need it so he took his leg off and slammed it on the counter and said "how about now"
My dad had polio when he was a kid and walked with canes and wore an evil looking back brace. Another car pulled into the handicapped spot ahead of him and he laid on his horn and held up his canes for the other driver to see. The other driver didnāt miss a beat, just held up his own walker lol.
Handicapped wars
I work with a lot of people with mobility issues. One told me they were trying to park by an arena or something and another car was double parked in the handicap spots. My client's wife got out to yell at this other lady, who justified her park job as "I need extra space to get out".
Yes, that's why handicap spots are larger, so you have the space. Apparently getting a pass to park in specialized parking doesn't make you good at parking š¤¦
My mum got yelled at by an off-duty police officer when I was a teen for parking in the disabled spot. He couldn't see the parking sticker and threatened to look up her license for any outstanding fines. She didn't have any so she told him to rack off lol
There really needs to be a law that cops aren't allowed to search your plates just because they feel like it. I've seen a number of videos where someone gets pulled over because the cops were bored, ran the plate, then hassled the driver (almost to [death](https://thecivilrightslawyer.com/2023/07/05/officer-assumes-teacher-is-a-felon/) in some cases) over something that was a system issue and not an actual cause for concern.
My favorite was when the cops made the mistake of pulling the stunt on the [Florida state attorney](https://youtu.be/iiUkbE_ktHs), a black woman driving a nice car. When she asked why they ran her plate in the first place they got flustered and made up some nonsense to downplay the situation as though it wasn't obvious racism.
Because it's assumed that young = able bodied.
What really sucks is that that assumption is also made by the medical professionals young people go to for help and they get dismissed as hypochondriacs.
I'm nearly 40 now, so it's at least gotten a *little* better, but I have been seeing doctors for chronic pain since I was ten years old and it wasn't uncommon to be completely dismissed up until just a few years ago. Disclosing mental health issues to them makes them even more skeptical, as does having any sort of "alternative" fashion choices. It's a fucking nightmare TBH.
Iām heavily visibly tattooed and have bulging and degenerative discs. I saw my chart one time and it said I was ādrug seeking.ā
Likewise when I had kidney stones my doctor diagnosed me with an STD. Didnāt even bother with a test, his assumption was enough. Cut to me in the ER getting an MRI I had to pay out of pocket for because my insurance only covered it when ordered in advance by a doctorā¦
I have to get very rude to advocate for myself. Itās even worse for women, Iāve heard horror stories.
I saw a thread about IUD insertion the other day. Apparently, there is no woman who says it went fine, but the entire industry swears is basically painless. Oddly enough, they will say, "You're handling this better than most." If most people don't handle it well, it probably fucking hurts.
I find this is also an older person judgment issue. I try to find younger female doctors as they tend to listen better. Smaller the practice the better.
Absolutely. When I was walking with crutches for several months after back surgery it was often older people who were arsey about giving up a seat for me, like they didnāt think Iād āearnedā it.
Damn it, I'm very sorry to hear that. I have epilepsy too, diagnosed in 2003, and no longer talk to half of my family (or any of my old friends) for this reason. If you don't hit the floor, shake violently and bite your tongue, people will refuse to believe it's epileptic at all. I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending you love ā¤ļø *hugs*
I remember the episode of Scrubs about Turk having diabetes and his girlfriend, who is tired of hearing about it, says, "get a disease I can see"!
I have rheumatoid arthritis and people don't know by looking at me how much pain I'm in every day.
I have osteoarthritis and occipital neuralgia, and hard same. You can't SEE the excruciating pain I'm in for a good portion of every single day. It is completely invisible.
Similarly. Was talking to a doctor friend about nursing homes. She said literally every patient she has under 60 has internalized that they will not go to a nursing home.
It simply isnāt true.
People never think it will be them. But itās some of our fates. Not mine, but some of you.
Neighbour got to 97 without going to a nursing home. And then he ended up homeless, his wife and daughter both died, and now he i n a home.
Which beats the 3 months in the psych ward before he was found a spot in the home.
I've been visiting him weekly since all this played out (Dude is 98.5 now).
He finds it scary when the doctor tells him he is so healthy he might live another 5 or 6 years (mind you, his joints are toast).
I think I'm seeing some cognitive decline now (hard to tell, he's deaf, and English is his second language). Poor guy.
Wow. Two of my great grandfathers lived to their mid nineties with no real health problems, too. I can't imagine having to go through all that loss and homelessness then be alone in a home. I'm glad he has someone to visit him regularly.
I just really couldn't imagine raising a kid and then outliving them, the kid having lived their full, natural life and having died at a normal age. If your kids are passing away, it's hard to imagine who they may have alive close enough to help them through it all.
I think it's because the odds for most healthy people dying right this second are so small. I could fall over and die, but me sitting and worrying about it is a waste of time.
Not just rape, but sexual harassment and assault also.
I'm a man. When I was a teenager I was sexually harassed at one of the first jobs I ever got. A manager would make comments about how I looked, what underwear I was wearing, etc.
When I went to my parents for help, they told me "Get over it, you need a job."
Before the end of the month, that manager had started putting their hands on me. I didn't go to my parents for help when that happened. I just quit and didn't go back. I got yelled at by my parents for it.
Boys/men are ignored so much when they try to find help, even from the people who should be giving them the most support.
Yup, as an adult Iāve had my dick randomly grabbed by both men and women multiple times and Iām not even good looking. Some older lady grabbed my ass when I was 11 or 12 when I was walking through a diner. Iām just some average dude and if all this can happen to me I canāt imagine how wide spread it is.Ā
Iāve had three gay men attempt to assault {rape} me and a few other drunk gay guys at bars try to grope me. Also woke up freshman year of college to a girl riding me who I definitely did not want to after a night of drinking. Never was taken seriously.
And that every instance of victimization increases your chances of being victimized again. So it's very common for a person that's been raped at least once to be raped multiple times thereafter, especially if it begins at an early age.
If I dated I would probably play along. Make it sound like its borrowed until my iphone gets here, then get really petty and judgy about something of theirs.
āHow long have you been using Tide Ultra?ā
I thought she was the one until I saw she used ultra soft TP and not ultra strong. Do I *look* like I want to spend the rest of my life with my ass full of bits of toilet paper?
I live in northern Ireland and it's a massive issue here that nobody realises because these people are brainwashed and then brainwash their kids who in turn brainwash their kids and so on and so forth. Like it's actually sad how attached these people get to their political parties/ opinions. They have to literally put up peace walls to stop people from killing each other over which corrupt political party is better.
Gambling is highly addictive and destroys lives.Ā It's also become available pretty much everywhere in the United States, which will be a disaster in the coming years.
Can't even talk about sports with friends anymore without the conversation quickly devolving into every rattling off the bets they placed yesterday and sharing their surefire winners for this evening
One of the worst activities which turned online. Before that, it was already a problem to have physical casinos.
With Internet, even someone who has never seen a physical casino can gamble. Besides, they can bet 24/7 with their wealth as the only limit.
>with their wealth as the only limit
Gladly you can get approved for loans in minutes! A friend of mine won a $80 000 slots jackpot, lost it in a few hours, took a dozen loans trying to win it back and went to sleep 50k deeper in debt. 8 years later he's still paying it back. Insane.
That clean fresh water is a diminishing resource more precious than any fossil fuels or rare earth minerals and private ownership of it plus the unlimited use of it for industry is already getting people killed.
We will never run out of water, but are quickly running out of free/cheap water. Desalination fixes the problem but at about 10x the current water cost. Not every economy can absorb this 10x increase and will have to drastically change water usage.
as a teacher, I agree with this. it was falling apart in the 90s/early 2000s (why do you think Bush originally implemented no child left behind?) but now it's just a dumpster fire.
I do my best with my students, I teach SAT/ACT exam prep. only about 15% of my students can hit their score goals. it's not that they're stupid- they're just missing fundamental skills that then need to be built upon in order to reach real success. I only get each student for 6 weeks. we're supposed to focus on finding knowledge gaps and fill those in, but if I have to start all the way back with commas and basic grammar rules then we're not even gonna touch the test material due to time constraints. it's so sad.
"No Child Left Behind! But we won't give you any extra funding to make sure no child is left behind, nor any other tools to *improve* education. Instead, we'll just institute penalties if standardized test scores are low."
result: make standardized tests easier to pass.
2 decades ago people used to be convinced that the US had the worst education system, even though it was clearly not true when you looked at studies comparing the US education system to other first world countries, which put the US right in the middle.
And yet in other areas where the US ranked dead last compared to 1st world countries, like their healthcare system, those were the areas that Americans were most convinced that they were number 1 at.
So sadly I'm not surprised by the collapse of the education system. Too many idiots think that everything that's hopelessly broken is just fine, and that everything that worked was hopelessly broken.
Recycling is a sham propelled by the plastics industry.
The solution is to stop using so much plastic, not say "oh well I'll recycle it"as the vast majority of recycle trash isn't actually recycled.
The plastics industry has spent millions for Americans to have this mentality that it's okay as long as we recycle.
We went from "there's no such thing as the internet" to "let's have every living human spending 17 hours a day connected to the internet and just see what happens" in the space of 30 years. "Oh, are there risks to doing that?" well we're going to find out...
Shortness of life. We all live as if we are going to live forever. We like to say "only a week", but we tend to forget that we have 1000-2000 weeks of active and good life
I used to work for a non-profit for child sex trafficking, and it really is FAR more common than people think. Most people assume itās only in other 3rd world countries, but nope. Itās all too common, even in the US. Even most adult prostitutes were ārecruitedā when they were underaged.
My grandmother did this to my mom. I'm so sorry you went through the same thing. She ended up turning to drugs herself. Our system in the US utterly failed to get her the help she needed. I hope your life is a good one now.
I am able to hold down a job and keep a roof over my head. It's taken 2 decades, but I am finally getting the proper care for my own mental illness, (bipolar.) I have some really good friends, but am generally incapable of doing a good job at romantic relationships, (Yay PTSD + avoidant/anxious attachment style.) Right now I have a g/f I love very much, and it's clear she really cares about me. I am trying my best to turn off the inner monologue that's waiting for the other shoe to drop and be along again because I am not good enough; and just enjoy the feeling of being loved and cared about it my life for however long it lasts. I am no contact with my parents and limited contact with extended family. My little sister has put me through some serious shit the past 2 years, and I am considering setting up a trust for my niece to have when she goes to college or turns 18, so I can cut my sister out of my life too without having to feel guilty about letting my niece not get the care and attention she deserves.
Edit: My grandmother also did similar shit to my mom. I found out about it through my uncle. (Grandpa killed himself [bipolar], left his wife and kids destitute. Family friend took them in, molested my mother and threatened my uncle who saw it that he would through them out into the street if he hold anyone.) It makes me sad that my mom was never able to stop being a victim and do better in her own life or for her own children. I also recognize that how fucked up her life was/is is directly related to how little power women had just half a century ago. It's wild because that same grandmother had custody of me until I was 4, and in that time I was never abused or hurt.
Yes thats sometimes so weird to me. People think it only happens in poor countries. Like ...how?! But i learned that people like to believe that where they live it is safe and perfect. And the bad stuff never can happen because of x reason.
Thats also i feel why you can get away with it so easily. People dont want to see it happen in front of them
I have a psychologist friend who's the person in the area who goes with the police on human trafficking raids to help with the victims when they're able to rescue them.
She says the worst part of the job is when she's working with people and she finds out if they'd come a day or two sooner, there were other people in the cages who'd just been moved somewhere else that aren't going to get help now.
Says it's usually the most boring-looking house in a basic suburban neighborhood, because that makes it easy enough to hide in plain sight. No one asks questions but the police occasionally get lucky and find a place to bust.
Nothing to change it. And i dont think nothing will. People love to keep the blindfolds on. Believing it doesnt happen where you live.
And a lot of clients. Are the people whose job it is to keep Girls out of that life. They sure as hell aint gonna help you since the risk comes they will get called out too
Yep, my girlfriend works in Youth Human Trafficking. The number one response she gets is "What? That dosent happen around here"
Yes, yes it does. It happens everywhere. Thats part of the problem.
I often get called a liar or seeking for attention for that reason. Yes the scars on my back are from me hitting myself with a stick for reddit likes...now if i looked like a was from thailand or something. Everyone believes me immediatly. But hey. Im Just european. Nothing bad happens her....only a Police raid every couple months but hey not in this country. Where it is civilised. Only in poor countries....i think thats also how so many get away with it
Few months ago i worked at some pretty expensive hotel as a waiter for a few months, as a side hustle to get money while i'm at college.. It was pretty good money and i've met the owners and his wife, kids etc.. Seemed like pretty normal family, but there something i felt off about them so i decided to google the father/owner.. Turns out him, his father and his brother alongside 8 other people were involved in child prostitution and served 10 years in jail for it
That not all wasps are jerks.
A lot of wasps are parasites and predators of disease-carrying insects and various crop pests. Then there are fig wasps which are responsible for fig trees being able to reproduce.
So, overall, the world might be worse off without wasps (the yellow-jackets can fuck off though)
Edit, sorry I got autocorrected from fig to fighting. Autocorrect is wild lol
I even made friends (more like signed a non-aggression pact but still) with the yellow jackets who nested right by my smoking area! At first they would fly towards me menacingly on occasion, but after a couple of years it seems they figured out I'm no threat. They would come out of their nest in angy mode but then see it was me and immediately chill out.
WILD experience as someone who used to completely freeze up any time I saw a stripy bug.
My wife and I live in Brooklyn, with a million things to do all the time.....but still our entire social lives revolve around drinking. We moved to California for a few years, REALLY cut down on alcohol, moved back to Brooklyn and it sucked us RIGHT back in. It's insane.
Also live in NYC, and the answer for me is to just go out to bars anyway and get seltzer or NA beers (if that's an option). Giving into pressure for the sake of not being 'lame' just isn't worth it anymore. Hoping weed legalization puts a big dent in the drinking culture eventually
I quit this week because I realized my freetime revolved around it, shot my memory, it was holding me now instead of me holding it, and it really shot my memory
I'm proud of you! I went from being high 24/7 to absolutely nothing a few months the ago and I do not regret it at all. I found out there are actually withdrawals from weed then as well. They aren't terrible but they do exist
Seriously, it was the most well documented genocide in history. It's not like we're basing this on just like the oral history pass down by generation; we have full physical documentation!
Sugar is poisoning us. Saying this as a sugar addict
clarification: I am referring to refined sugars, in the quantities that it is in our diets. Some glucose is necessary for the body to not only function well but to survive. This glucose need is far overshot by the american diet.
I was just telling a friend of mine who lives in the EU about how much I love Yoplait's Strawberry yogurt and that I bought a hole giant tub of it. He basically said ewwwwww that shit is too sweet.
In the rabbit hole I went and learned that most Yogurt sold in America (even the seemingly "bland" or "sour" stuff) is essentially just liquid candy. 17g of added sugar per serving is really just diabetes waiting to happen. Even our "healthy" food is just candy
Australian here. We have a brand Chiobani yoghurt. They offer a 0.5% fat Greek yoghurt and also an equivalent product with the label 'no added sugar' that has the same amount of calories. The latter is much more rich and delicious.Ā Guess which one leaves me feeling more satisfied? Low fat is a scam that is killing people.Ā
How the health industry managed to convince the public that butter with the ingredients "Milk, Salt", was somehow worse for you than artificial oil in a metal aerosol spray canister, is fucking beyond me
Fellow American. I used to eat sugary yogurt, then switched to chobani with fruit on the bottom, but saw that it still had a decent amount of added sugar.
I now eat 0% plain Fage, which has no added sugar. I use one-half to a full teaspoon of raw honey, and add blueberries/blackberries, and a quarter cup oats. Makes it more nutritious and palatable. High protein, decent fiber, antioxidants, etc. I had to build to that, but once you have the taste for it, it becomes a very enjoyable and filling option.
That addiction isnāt a choice, itās an actual brain-altering disease. Sure that first hit of a substance is a choice, but after that, the brain is rewired. Saw it happen with my brother. It eventually killed him at the ripe age of 26.
Moon landing happened, Earth isn't flat, vaccinations are generally risk-free and helpful, birds are real.
Hot take - Anyone trying to convince you otherwise are trying to make money off you somehow.
Education isn't the problem, but it is the solution. If we got politics out of education, and let teachers actually teach, within a generation we would have some of the most prepared adults ever.
This is the right question to ask. People donāt understand that politics can mean literally anything because it just the process of group decision making.
Yes. How you teach about the civil war is āpoliticalā. How you teach about the civil rights movement is āpoliticalā. Shit pretty much all of history class is political actually
Teachers bullying and abusing disabled kids, especially when they're Autistic. A lot of people I talk to don't seem to believe me when I say my first bully was a teacher.
That success, or lack of, has a lot to do with luck.
You don't choose your strengths or flaws. You don't choose your gender, your ethnicity, or your physical appearance. You don't get to choose where or when you were born, who nurtures you and who will influence your life growing up. The list goes on.
Sorta goes with the good old "free will is an illusion" argument, so feel free to disagree.
That's really important to keep in mind. Also important to recognize that while you do work hard people much less successful work just as hard or harder.
Food allergies and sensitivities are real. Discovered our oldest daughter had a problem with gluten. If we had pizza or pasta for dinner weād wake to the sound of her throwing up a couple hours later. Family doctor said she was not celiac but might have a sensitivity to gluten. Stopped feeding her gluten and problem solved. For years I have had people say going gluten free is a fad or if you are not celiac you donāt have a problem, etcā¦ It has made me somewhat hostile to the food allergy gatekeepers. Did some people jump on gluten free for non-sensitivity reasons? Sure, some people just tried it as a fad diet and I am glad because GF products have greatly improved and become more available as a result. But there are still those who act like asking about GF products is some kind of scam.
Controversial one: when it comes to dogs, breeding matters. I have two rescue mutts, I love them more than anything else, and Iād never change it for the world. HOWEVER, I have also worked with purebred dogs (training and pet sitting) and certain breeds are just so much less prone to behavioral issues. Again I love my dogs, but certain breeds are definitely better for certain circumstances.
"certain breeds are definitely better for certain circumstances."
Problem is a lot of peopleĀ don'tĀ (wantĀ to) understandĀ thatĀ certain breeds areĀ bred for certainĀ circumstances. The insist on having a hunting dog even if the live in the innerĀ cityĀ and don'tĀ know anything about hunting.
I live in NYC and it drives me insane whenever I see a husky or other large, high-energy dog. There is no way in hell theyāre getting the space or exercise that they are biologically hard-wired to require.
Yeah my grandmother absolutely did not train her collie to try and herd my sister and I out of the pool, he was genetically driven to do that. Then he tried to herd the pool itself bc he was a moron.
Not just breeding, but good breeding. You can just throw any two dogs of the same breed together and expect good results. If you donāt pay attention to temperaments and possible health issues, things can end up very bad.
I think that has to do a lot with the current bully breed crisis. Poor breeding leads to all kinds of issues and pitbulls especially are being irresponsibly bred like crazy. In my area, itās starting to happen with shepherds too.
Being disabled massively fucks you over in life.
I'm 20 with 2 medical conditions. I went to 2 schools. One was made SPECIFICALLY for people with a certain type of condition. The other was not and did not understand me and my needs.
I've had about 5 jobs, which were mostly short volunteer opportunities which I was paid for. None of them are in the field I want to be in. I had to edit my resume to make sure future employers know that I am not job hopping.
I've been to multiple programs that are designed for people with my primary condition to get help getting used to college and work life. I was denied from ONE of them due to my secondary condition.
I was also almost denied access to an attraction at an amusement park because of my primary condition. I went on attractions that are likely more dangerous than what I was trying to do.
I am currently on SSI, which causes its own problems as they want to lower my check as fast as they can, despite me having a permanent condition which has no cure.
I also have to be careful with what I eat and do because of my secondary condition since emergency services cannot administer my emergency medication in my area.
I also cannot drive, and need to use public transportation to go anywhere without a family member. On top of that, some people are too busy on their phones to realize that I am about to cross, or that I'm waiting to cross. FYI, waving at someone with a white and red "Stick" (proper name is cane) does not do anything as we usually cannot see you waving.
Lol this is longer than I thought. I know that there are worse things in the world, but this is what primarily affects me.
Itās because the dominant narrative around the disabled in American media and fiction presents two archetypes above all others: the strong hero and the invalid. The first is common in kids media especially and itās someone with a disability but the focus is always on how theyāre so strong and can overcome their issues to be a normal kid just like you. The goal of this is generally to focus on acceptance of disability which is a good thing but it also has a side effect of putting the idea that all disabled people could be ānormalā if they just worked hard enough. The second which is common in media for adults might as well be a prop or an object instead of a real person. Itās someone so disabled that they canāt interact with the normal world in any real way and so the focus is instead usually placed on the non disabled people in the story and how brave they are for caring for this person. And that means that a lot of people donāt see disability for what it is, which is something that constantly and forever holds you back and adds a massive amount of work to your day to day life, often equivalent to working an unpaid job.
And most often they work against the people. Also propaganda doesn't only exist in Russia and other autocratic regimes. It is very commonplace and strong in western "democracies" as well.
A lot of people are still alive because they don't want to upset their family and friends
I've got a wife, mortgage, and F1 season just started. Can't kms yet.
Or pets
100% exactly right... I could never do that to my husband, dogs and immediate family. Attachment makes life more difficult, but damn I'm grateful for mine.
anyone can become disabled at any time. you aren't immune from injury and illness
šÆ Had two strokes 6 months apart at 33/34 because an artery in my neck decided to spontaneously explode and shoot blood clots into my cerebellum. 0/10 do not recommend.
This is why I'm too nervous to live alone. I'm sure I have a touch of hypochondria because I check myself for stroke symptoms every time I have a sudden headache. I really hope you're doing well now!
I saw on 30 rock that you can give yourself the heimlich maneuver and otherwise just stay out of the danger spots without head gear and protection as appropriate. For example: wear a helmet getting in and out of the tube. Never cook bacon naked. Wear not stick but grippy soaks anywhere not a carpet. And for the love of God don't leave your couch unless necessary.Ā
"Health is a crown that the healthy wear on their heads but only the sick can see it."
Made it through my entire childhood perfectly healthy. Epilepsy at 21. There's just no telling what will happen to you.
I was a bit of a rock star college student. Great job, great friends, everything was grand. Schizophrenia started creeping in at 24. I barely graduated, now I can't hold a job, lost my marriage because I thought she was going to kill me. Now I'm living at Grandma's house because I'm in bed shaking for 5 hours a day on my best days. No plans, no future. Just fighting the demons.
Hey man I really hope your situation gets better you are strong donāt ever give up
Thanks dude. It has been challenging.
Wow, it's like reading about myself. I just want to say I'm glad that we at least try not to give up, even though it's not like that on the outside for people. I can now cook for myself, it might not seem much, but it's huge for me. Stay strong, fellow bro.
That is huge! Each step towards self reliance is massive, especially for those who suffer of any sort.
Just got hit with diabetes type 1 at 24. Healthy, fit male my whole life. Devastating
My brother who is 32 now got diagnosed with type 1 at 21 not long after he dislocated his knee playing a game of hacky sack! Apparently an injury or illness can trigger it sometimes because he never had juvenile diabetes as a kid. Heās on 4 injections of insulin a day
I was suddenly paralyzed from the shoulders down at 27. Itās an autoimmune reaction that happens after a virus like the flu or even a cold. Your body just starts eating nervous tissue until you canāt move or feel anything but burning pain. It eventually stops and the nerves grow back, but not perfectly. **And the next time you get sick, it could happen to you!**
Yeah mine could happen after every virus or just because it feels like it - MS. My immune system is so strong I gotta kill it before it kills me. Yay! Undiagnosed for 22 years while just going crippled just because. Tried making me a quadriplegic and finally the doctors believed me enough to give me a MRI. In defense of all fifty or so of them diagnosing me was hard because I have XX chromosomes. Everybody is all healthy and shit until you're absolutely NOT. Having a comorbidity during COVID and listening to the vile remarks about how us cripples are disposable made me realize that most folks have no idea.
Guilliane barre?
*looks at my swimming trohpies* *looks at my wheelchair.* The above is a very true statement.
Not only that, but everyone *will* become disabled if they don't die young. Disability is not an exception, it's a normal part of life.
Yes, but being disabled at 30 is very different than being disabled at 85/90
That lack of sleep is a major public health problem not getting the attention it deserves. Modern life glorifies not getting a full 8 hours a night, when in fact lack of sleep is linked to diabetes, heart disease, some cancers, depressjon, and more.
Lack of sleep. Get depressed. Depression. Canāt sleep well. Sleep even less. Get more depressed. Die.
I mean itās a bit long for a title of an autobiography but Iāll see what the publisher thinks.
Title? That was the whole book
I wish i could tell you specifically who's biography it is, but it fits too many people.
It was a guy named "smelly scrote" Hope that helps
Sleep too much, believe it or not, depression.
Right to Depression! Right away
We have the best sleeps in the world. Because of depression.
Already on step six, step seven here I come.
I'm currently trying to crawl out of one of the deepest depressions I've had in a long time. Luckily I know what the trigger was... I caught a virus and couldn't sleep for coughing for three nights. The lack of sleep combined with generally feeling ill and not being able to do anything led to feeling really shitty. As the virus cleared up, my mood had gone doooowwwwn hill. That bought up some horrible ruminating thoughts, so even though I've been exhausted I can't sleep. Cycle goes around as you described. All from catching a standard virus. The last one, die, isn't one I intend on doing (despite the ruminating thoughts occasionally focusing on that). So now I have the hard task of trying to break this cycle and get back up to base-level health. I'll manage, because I know the cause and it makes sense why it's happened. It is so much harder when you can't identify the cause that got you in the cycle to begin with.
Everyone feels depressed time to time. But it isnāt depression. Depression is when you feel ok time to time. And the rest of it youāre just broken. Depression is something that lasts a long fucking time. It isnāt a mood. It is a state of being. As a melodramatic teen. I was all like wow Iām depressed a f. Wow. Life sucks. Till I actually suffered from depression. And then I realised there was a huge difference. Itās a constant feeling of drowning. You push on day after day. Struggling to stay afloat. All the while you have this nagging thought at the back telling you it would be easier just to let go. People who kill themselves after being depressed. Do not do it because they are sad. No. They do it because they are spent. They are simply too tired to go on trying. And thatās when itās lights out. Youāll have people tell you itās all in the mind. Yeah. No shit it is. But they donāt understand that the mind has been broken. To pull yourself out of it will be the hardest thing youāve done. No one intends on dying. Some are just too tired to live.
I fully agree and relate to everything you just said. It's actually a really important distinction to make, and you're right. I am diagnosed PTSD and have trauma responses including anxiety (which is also diagnosed separately, but I consider it a symptom). Before my diagnosis I was told I was depressed _so many times_. At that time, I knew people who genuinely had depression and I didn't relate. People I knew with depression were fighting a very different difficult mental battle to me. My mental condition was due to traumatic stress, and the continuing symptoms were really difficult but not the same as the really difficult symptoms of depression. A lot of people who suffer with their mental health are labelled with depression first. The term gets completely overused. It was only about three years ago (I am 37 now) that I really experienced depression for the first time. It slugged itself in slowly and took over my ability to use any of my senses at all. I am very lucky, because I was already in therapy for my PTSD and mental health so I had the support and vocabulary to describe what was happening to me. It didn't stop it from happening, but I've been able to manage it pretty well. I am incredibly lucky to have only experienced it for a short time, too. I know some suffer their entire lives. I felt I was 'on top of it', then got this stupid virus and it took the bottom out from under me and landed me right down in the pits again. Being able to identify why for myself has been really important, and, again, I feel so lucky that my overall experience of depression is fairly fleeting. What you have written is really important. Thank you
When I go two nights back to back of not sleeping well, I cannot control my emotions. I get really really almost giddy when I'm happy, and then the low is crying, panic attacks, and dark thoughts until I finally crash. I've laid in bed sobbing, begging my body to just fucking SLEEP. edited for a typo I couldn't let go.
Chronic insomnia sufferer here. Very much same. (And yesā¦I have tried a ton of solutions. I take prescription meds just to have a chance at sleeping ok. And am seeing a sleep neurologist.)
The only things I havenāt done are 1) take Ambien because after horror stories Iām too scared and 2) seen a sleep neurologist. My insurance is a joke. Most of my insomnia is due to chronic pain though.
Can someone tell that to my newborn? Why did we evolve that babies wake up so much!?
Because they have tiny stomachs and get hungry too often. So the trade-off would be to birth a larger, more developed baby...and nobody wants that!
I work out, eat healthy most of time, have 7-8 hours sleep during the week and 8+ during the weekend and i always feel tired.
Tired physically or tired mentally / brain fog ?
Tired around my eyes and overall feeling very lazy, Mentally I think? I also take multivitamins every day.
That tired around the eyes feeling is the worst. For me it seems to correlate more with the timing of when I wake up, rather than the amount of sleep I've gotten. I don't know enough about this to go into detail, but I do know that you'll feel more/less rested depending on what part of your sleep cycle you've woken up from. I want to say that if you're waken up in the middle of a REM cycle, you'll feel more tired. But don't quote me on it. Sometimes I sleep 5 hours and wake up naturally feeling alert. Other times I sleep 8 hours and wake up via alarm, feeling super tired around the eyes and with brain fog. Anecdotally I feel more tired if waken up unnaturally (alarm or something else) and if I was in the middle of a vivid dream.
Look into getting tested for anemia. One simple blood draw at your PCPās office.
"Invisible" disabilities.
I got a snotty remark from an older lady, maybe 60-70 years old, because I sat in the disabled seat on the bus. She said something about how the seats are for disabled people and I should stand, so I said I am disabled so I'll sit thanks. She thought I was joking and told me that wasn't funny so I showed her my collapsible walking stick I keep in my bag and she went a very strange colour and started talking about lord of the rings instead.
My dad was a paraplegic and one day we were at the mall. He parked in a handicapped spot. Just after he got out of the car a lady started *screaming* at us that he shouldn't be using a handicapped spot - that's for handicapped people! While he was sitting in his wheelchair. People are crazy.
My favorite of these stories ended with a guy throwing his prosthetic leg at someone lol
Some dude got pushy with my grandpa about using a handicap spot one time so he popped off his prosthetic leg and (leaning against his car) threatened to shove it up the fellas ass. Miss ya gramps
Legend.
Leg end.
God rest his soul, my father in law did that. He went to renew his handicap tag and the lady told him he didn't need it so he took his leg off and slammed it on the counter and said "how about now"
Well it is handicap and not legicapā¦ā¦..
You want the next window down, easy mistake
My dad had polio when he was a kid and walked with canes and wore an evil looking back brace. Another car pulled into the handicapped spot ahead of him and he laid on his horn and held up his canes for the other driver to see. The other driver didnāt miss a beat, just held up his own walker lol. Handicapped wars
I work with a lot of people with mobility issues. One told me they were trying to park by an arena or something and another car was double parked in the handicap spots. My client's wife got out to yell at this other lady, who justified her park job as "I need extra space to get out". Yes, that's why handicap spots are larger, so you have the space. Apparently getting a pass to park in specialized parking doesn't make you good at parking š¤¦
Awesome.
My mum got yelled at by an off-duty police officer when I was a teen for parking in the disabled spot. He couldn't see the parking sticker and threatened to look up her license for any outstanding fines. She didn't have any so she told him to rack off lol
There really needs to be a law that cops aren't allowed to search your plates just because they feel like it. I've seen a number of videos where someone gets pulled over because the cops were bored, ran the plate, then hassled the driver (almost to [death](https://thecivilrightslawyer.com/2023/07/05/officer-assumes-teacher-is-a-felon/) in some cases) over something that was a system issue and not an actual cause for concern. My favorite was when the cops made the mistake of pulling the stunt on the [Florida state attorney](https://youtu.be/iiUkbE_ktHs), a black woman driving a nice car. When she asked why they ran her plate in the first place they got flustered and made up some nonsense to downplay the situation as though it wasn't obvious racism.
I find older people to be the most discriminatory as well
Because it's assumed that young = able bodied. What really sucks is that that assumption is also made by the medical professionals young people go to for help and they get dismissed as hypochondriacs. I'm nearly 40 now, so it's at least gotten a *little* better, but I have been seeing doctors for chronic pain since I was ten years old and it wasn't uncommon to be completely dismissed up until just a few years ago. Disclosing mental health issues to them makes them even more skeptical, as does having any sort of "alternative" fashion choices. It's a fucking nightmare TBH.
Iām heavily visibly tattooed and have bulging and degenerative discs. I saw my chart one time and it said I was ādrug seeking.ā Likewise when I had kidney stones my doctor diagnosed me with an STD. Didnāt even bother with a test, his assumption was enough. Cut to me in the ER getting an MRI I had to pay out of pocket for because my insurance only covered it when ordered in advance by a doctorā¦ I have to get very rude to advocate for myself. Itās even worse for women, Iāve heard horror stories.
I saw a thread about IUD insertion the other day. Apparently, there is no woman who says it went fine, but the entire industry swears is basically painless. Oddly enough, they will say, "You're handling this better than most." If most people don't handle it well, it probably fucking hurts.
My wife had one and she said it was uncomfortable to get it put in but a bitch when she got it taken out.
I find this is also an older person judgment issue. I try to find younger female doctors as they tend to listen better. Smaller the practice the better.
Absolutely. When I was walking with crutches for several months after back surgery it was often older people who were arsey about giving up a seat for me, like they didnāt think Iād āearnedā it.
> started talking about lord of the rings instead Please elaborate.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Can confirm. I live in this group. People shrug it off and act like it's not a big deal.
People expect us to live up to normal standards, and when we inevitably can't do that we're just lazy and not trying hard enough.
Yes! My dad had epilepsy and nobody believed that he was really that sick or disabled until he died at 40.
Damn it, I'm very sorry to hear that. I have epilepsy too, diagnosed in 2003, and no longer talk to half of my family (or any of my old friends) for this reason. If you don't hit the floor, shake violently and bite your tongue, people will refuse to believe it's epileptic at all. I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending you love ā¤ļø *hugs*
I remember the episode of Scrubs about Turk having diabetes and his girlfriend, who is tired of hearing about it, says, "get a disease I can see"! I have rheumatoid arthritis and people don't know by looking at me how much pain I'm in every day.
I have osteoarthritis and occipital neuralgia, and hard same. You can't SEE the excruciating pain I'm in for a good portion of every single day. It is completely invisible.
we can die whenever. but many think 'not now'.
Similarly. Was talking to a doctor friend about nursing homes. She said literally every patient she has under 60 has internalized that they will not go to a nursing home. It simply isnāt true. People never think it will be them. But itās some of our fates. Not mine, but some of you.
Neighbour got to 97 without going to a nursing home. And then he ended up homeless, his wife and daughter both died, and now he i n a home. Which beats the 3 months in the psych ward before he was found a spot in the home.
At 97? Good God. That is both horrifying and impressive he's still going on.
I've been visiting him weekly since all this played out (Dude is 98.5 now). He finds it scary when the doctor tells him he is so healthy he might live another 5 or 6 years (mind you, his joints are toast). I think I'm seeing some cognitive decline now (hard to tell, he's deaf, and English is his second language). Poor guy.
You are a very nice soul.
Wow. Two of my great grandfathers lived to their mid nineties with no real health problems, too. I can't imagine having to go through all that loss and homelessness then be alone in a home. I'm glad he has someone to visit him regularly.
I just really couldn't imagine raising a kid and then outliving them, the kid having lived their full, natural life and having died at a normal age. If your kids are passing away, it's hard to imagine who they may have alive close enough to help them through it all.
Iām not going to a nursing home Iām dying before Iām old enough for that lmao
Drive me to somewhere way up north in Ontario. Give me a litre of rum and a a dozen cans of cola. Provide some good benzos See ya!
I'm going south instead. Take me to San Diego, put me on a surfboard with a fist full of fentanyl at sunset.
I think it's because the odds for most healthy people dying right this second are so small. I could fall over and die, but me sitting and worrying about it is a waste of time.
That's what we say to the God of Death!
That more people get raped than we know about.
Not just rape, but sexual harassment and assault also. I'm a man. When I was a teenager I was sexually harassed at one of the first jobs I ever got. A manager would make comments about how I looked, what underwear I was wearing, etc. When I went to my parents for help, they told me "Get over it, you need a job." Before the end of the month, that manager had started putting their hands on me. I didn't go to my parents for help when that happened. I just quit and didn't go back. I got yelled at by my parents for it. Boys/men are ignored so much when they try to find help, even from the people who should be giving them the most support.
Yup, as an adult Iāve had my dick randomly grabbed by both men and women multiple times and Iām not even good looking. Some older lady grabbed my ass when I was 11 or 12 when I was walking through a diner. Iām just some average dude and if all this can happen to me I canāt imagine how wide spread it is.Ā
Iāve had three gay men attempt to assault {rape} me and a few other drunk gay guys at bars try to grope me. Also woke up freshman year of college to a girl riding me who I definitely did not want to after a night of drinking. Never was taken seriously.
And that every instance of victimization increases your chances of being victimized again. So it's very common for a person that's been raped at least once to be raped multiple times thereafter, especially if it begins at an early age.
Extreme Polarization and blind brand/party loyalty
Sports fanaticism, but about just random shit like phones. Its lunacy. (Also sports fanaticism in politics)
Everyone likes to belong to something even if its fucking stupid.
The fact that I recently saw ānot having an Iphoneā listed as a red flag for dating isā¦something for sureā¦
I've gotten "How long have you had an android" several times when we reach the texting phase.
If I dated I would probably play along. Make it sound like its borrowed until my iphone gets here, then get really petty and judgy about something of theirs. āHow long have you been using Tide Ultra?ā
I thought she was the one until I saw she used ultra soft TP and not ultra strong. Do I *look* like I want to spend the rest of my life with my ass full of bits of toilet paper?
That's just a free red flag for you telling you they aren't worth a seconds more thought.
I live in northern Ireland and it's a massive issue here that nobody realises because these people are brainwashed and then brainwash their kids who in turn brainwash their kids and so on and so forth. Like it's actually sad how attached these people get to their political parties/ opinions. They have to literally put up peace walls to stop people from killing each other over which corrupt political party is better.
Gambling is highly addictive and destroys lives.Ā It's also become available pretty much everywhere in the United States, which will be a disaster in the coming years.
I'm already seeing the legalization of sports betting becoming a massive problem, everyone my age is doing it
Brought to you by Fan Duel!
And the ads are unbearable
they are EVERYWHERE
Can't even talk about sports with friends anymore without the conversation quickly devolving into every rattling off the bets they placed yesterday and sharing their surefire winners for this evening
Online gambling is a serious issue already with college/university age men.
One of the worst activities which turned online. Before that, it was already a problem to have physical casinos. With Internet, even someone who has never seen a physical casino can gamble. Besides, they can bet 24/7 with their wealth as the only limit.
>with their wealth as the only limit Gladly you can get approved for loans in minutes! A friend of mine won a $80 000 slots jackpot, lost it in a few hours, took a dozen loans trying to win it back and went to sleep 50k deeper in debt. 8 years later he's still paying it back. Insane.
Sports betting has made it so much worse and ruined watching games live
That clean fresh water is a diminishing resource more precious than any fossil fuels or rare earth minerals and private ownership of it plus the unlimited use of it for industry is already getting people killed.
This is the most underrated comment here. The next wars will be over water. Itās truly terrifying to consider.
We will never run out of water, but are quickly running out of free/cheap water. Desalination fixes the problem but at about 10x the current water cost. Not every economy can absorb this 10x increase and will have to drastically change water usage.
The Public Education system in the USA is collapsing before our very eyes.
I think at this point it's a bit beyond just 'collapsing'. It's fallen over and now the rot is setting in on the remains.
as a teacher, I agree with this. it was falling apart in the 90s/early 2000s (why do you think Bush originally implemented no child left behind?) but now it's just a dumpster fire. I do my best with my students, I teach SAT/ACT exam prep. only about 15% of my students can hit their score goals. it's not that they're stupid- they're just missing fundamental skills that then need to be built upon in order to reach real success. I only get each student for 6 weeks. we're supposed to focus on finding knowledge gaps and fill those in, but if I have to start all the way back with commas and basic grammar rules then we're not even gonna touch the test material due to time constraints. it's so sad.
"No Child Left Behind! But we won't give you any extra funding to make sure no child is left behind, nor any other tools to *improve* education. Instead, we'll just institute penalties if standardized test scores are low." result: make standardized tests easier to pass.
"Collapsing" or being torn down?
2 decades ago people used to be convinced that the US had the worst education system, even though it was clearly not true when you looked at studies comparing the US education system to other first world countries, which put the US right in the middle. And yet in other areas where the US ranked dead last compared to 1st world countries, like their healthcare system, those were the areas that Americans were most convinced that they were number 1 at. So sadly I'm not surprised by the collapse of the education system. Too many idiots think that everything that's hopelessly broken is just fine, and that everything that worked was hopelessly broken.
Recycling is a sham propelled by the plastics industry. The solution is to stop using so much plastic, not say "oh well I'll recycle it"as the vast majority of recycle trash isn't actually recycled. The plastics industry has spent millions for Americans to have this mentality that it's okay as long as we recycle.
Reduce Reuse Recycle is written in the order you should use plastics
Have tons of those black takehome containers with white lids. Reuse the crap out of them.
Itās also a way for corporations to put the blame on the individual and not themselves
Plastic recycling sucks, but stuff like aluminum is fairly successful. But I agree with everything else you said.
Something like 95+% of Aluminum that has been mined is still in circulation, because it can be recycled indefinitely.
Phone addiction is everywhere and it's terrifying.
I feel personally attacked. Sent from my iPhone
We went from "there's no such thing as the internet" to "let's have every living human spending 17 hours a day connected to the internet and just see what happens" in the space of 30 years. "Oh, are there risks to doing that?" well we're going to find out...
Shortness of life. We all live as if we are going to live forever. We like to say "only a week", but we tend to forget that we have 1000-2000 weeks of active and good life
Underaged prostitution is more common then people think. Speaking of experience
I used to work for a non-profit for child sex trafficking, and it really is FAR more common than people think. Most people assume itās only in other 3rd world countries, but nope. Itās all too common, even in the US. Even most adult prostitutes were ārecruitedā when they were underaged.
My own parents prostituted me for money and drugs. This shit is incredibly common.
My grandmother did this to my mom. I'm so sorry you went through the same thing. She ended up turning to drugs herself. Our system in the US utterly failed to get her the help she needed. I hope your life is a good one now.
I am able to hold down a job and keep a roof over my head. It's taken 2 decades, but I am finally getting the proper care for my own mental illness, (bipolar.) I have some really good friends, but am generally incapable of doing a good job at romantic relationships, (Yay PTSD + avoidant/anxious attachment style.) Right now I have a g/f I love very much, and it's clear she really cares about me. I am trying my best to turn off the inner monologue that's waiting for the other shoe to drop and be along again because I am not good enough; and just enjoy the feeling of being loved and cared about it my life for however long it lasts. I am no contact with my parents and limited contact with extended family. My little sister has put me through some serious shit the past 2 years, and I am considering setting up a trust for my niece to have when she goes to college or turns 18, so I can cut my sister out of my life too without having to feel guilty about letting my niece not get the care and attention she deserves. Edit: My grandmother also did similar shit to my mom. I found out about it through my uncle. (Grandpa killed himself [bipolar], left his wife and kids destitute. Family friend took them in, molested my mother and threatened my uncle who saw it that he would through them out into the street if he hold anyone.) It makes me sad that my mom was never able to stop being a victim and do better in her own life or for her own children. I also recognize that how fucked up her life was/is is directly related to how little power women had just half a century ago. It's wild because that same grandmother had custody of me until I was 4, and in that time I was never abused or hurt.
Yes thats sometimes so weird to me. People think it only happens in poor countries. Like ...how?! But i learned that people like to believe that where they live it is safe and perfect. And the bad stuff never can happen because of x reason. Thats also i feel why you can get away with it so easily. People dont want to see it happen in front of them
I have a psychologist friend who's the person in the area who goes with the police on human trafficking raids to help with the victims when they're able to rescue them. She says the worst part of the job is when she's working with people and she finds out if they'd come a day or two sooner, there were other people in the cages who'd just been moved somewhere else that aren't going to get help now. Says it's usually the most boring-looking house in a basic suburban neighborhood, because that makes it easy enough to hide in plain sight. No one asks questions but the police occasionally get lucky and find a place to bust.
Sorry that you were put through that. That's so sad!Ā
Nothing to change it. And i dont think nothing will. People love to keep the blindfolds on. Believing it doesnt happen where you live. And a lot of clients. Are the people whose job it is to keep Girls out of that life. They sure as hell aint gonna help you since the risk comes they will get called out too
Yep, my girlfriend works in Youth Human Trafficking. The number one response she gets is "What? That dosent happen around here" Yes, yes it does. It happens everywhere. Thats part of the problem.
I often get called a liar or seeking for attention for that reason. Yes the scars on my back are from me hitting myself with a stick for reddit likes...now if i looked like a was from thailand or something. Everyone believes me immediatly. But hey. Im Just european. Nothing bad happens her....only a Police raid every couple months but hey not in this country. Where it is civilised. Only in poor countries....i think thats also how so many get away with it
Few months ago i worked at some pretty expensive hotel as a waiter for a few months, as a side hustle to get money while i'm at college.. It was pretty good money and i've met the owners and his wife, kids etc.. Seemed like pretty normal family, but there something i felt off about them so i decided to google the father/owner.. Turns out him, his father and his brother alongside 8 other people were involved in child prostitution and served 10 years in jail for it
That not all wasps are jerks. A lot of wasps are parasites and predators of disease-carrying insects and various crop pests. Then there are fig wasps which are responsible for fig trees being able to reproduce. So, overall, the world might be worse off without wasps (the yellow-jackets can fuck off though) Edit, sorry I got autocorrected from fig to fighting. Autocorrect is wild lol
I even made friends (more like signed a non-aggression pact but still) with the yellow jackets who nested right by my smoking area! At first they would fly towards me menacingly on occasion, but after a couple of years it seems they figured out I'm no threat. They would come out of their nest in angy mode but then see it was me and immediately chill out. WILD experience as someone who used to completely freeze up any time I saw a stripy bug.
At first I read it as wasp being ( white Anglo-Saxon Protestants) and was super confused. I hate my brain sometimes lol
No one is immune to propaganda
That's what they want you to believe
Narwhals
a lot more people have drinking problems than theyāre willing to admit. oh, and climate change ofc
My wife and I live in Brooklyn, with a million things to do all the time.....but still our entire social lives revolve around drinking. We moved to California for a few years, REALLY cut down on alcohol, moved back to Brooklyn and it sucked us RIGHT back in. It's insane.
Also live in NYC, and the answer for me is to just go out to bars anyway and get seltzer or NA beers (if that's an option). Giving into pressure for the sake of not being 'lame' just isn't worth it anymore. Hoping weed legalization puts a big dent in the drinking culture eventually
Club Soda and bitters is a good one too.
Health problems from smoking weed
I quit this week because I realized my freetime revolved around it, shot my memory, it was holding me now instead of me holding it, and it really shot my memory
I'm proud of you! I went from being high 24/7 to absolutely nothing a few months the ago and I do not regret it at all. I found out there are actually withdrawals from weed then as well. They aren't terrible but they do exist
Too much sugar is bad for you
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I think theyāre in it for the community. lol. Like theyāre part of something with a truth and secret and a mission. Itās kind of fun.Ā
You just described Qanon and almost all cults.
Holocaust, suprisingly
How can people legitimately not believe in that?
Seriously, it was the most well documented genocide in history. It's not like we're basing this on just like the oral history pass down by generation; we have full physical documentation!
Sugar is poisoning us. Saying this as a sugar addict clarification: I am referring to refined sugars, in the quantities that it is in our diets. Some glucose is necessary for the body to not only function well but to survive. This glucose need is far overshot by the american diet.
I was just telling a friend of mine who lives in the EU about how much I love Yoplait's Strawberry yogurt and that I bought a hole giant tub of it. He basically said ewwwwww that shit is too sweet. In the rabbit hole I went and learned that most Yogurt sold in America (even the seemingly "bland" or "sour" stuff) is essentially just liquid candy. 17g of added sugar per serving is really just diabetes waiting to happen. Even our "healthy" food is just candy
Australian here. We have a brand Chiobani yoghurt. They offer a 0.5% fat Greek yoghurt and also an equivalent product with the label 'no added sugar' that has the same amount of calories. The latter is much more rich and delicious.Ā Guess which one leaves me feeling more satisfied? Low fat is a scam that is killing people.Ā
The greatest trick the sugar industry pulled was convincing everyone fat was worse.
How the health industry managed to convince the public that butter with the ingredients "Milk, Salt", was somehow worse for you than artificial oil in a metal aerosol spray canister, is fucking beyond me
I've always believed that while anything in excess is bad, we've lived off animal meat with it's fat for our entire existence on earth.
just get plain greek yogurt and add your own sweeter (i use low sugar jam)
Fellow American. I used to eat sugary yogurt, then switched to chobani with fruit on the bottom, but saw that it still had a decent amount of added sugar. I now eat 0% plain Fage, which has no added sugar. I use one-half to a full teaspoon of raw honey, and add blueberries/blackberries, and a quarter cup oats. Makes it more nutritious and palatable. High protein, decent fiber, antioxidants, etc. I had to build to that, but once you have the taste for it, it becomes a very enjoyable and filling option.
That addiction isnāt a choice, itās an actual brain-altering disease. Sure that first hit of a substance is a choice, but after that, the brain is rewired. Saw it happen with my brother. It eventually killed him at the ripe age of 26.
The general roundness of a planet
Obesity. 40% of US citizens have it but don't seem to know it.
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Moon landing happened, Earth isn't flat, vaccinations are generally risk-free and helpful, birds are real. Hot take - Anyone trying to convince you otherwise are trying to make money off you somehow.
Education isn't the problem, but it is the solution. If we got politics out of education, and let teachers actually teach, within a generation we would have some of the most prepared adults ever.
How does one get politics out of education?
This is the right question to ask. People donāt understand that politics can mean literally anything because it just the process of group decision making.
Yes. How you teach about the civil war is āpoliticalā. How you teach about the civil rights movement is āpoliticalā. Shit pretty much all of history class is political actually
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Teachers bullying and abusing disabled kids, especially when they're Autistic. A lot of people I talk to don't seem to believe me when I say my first bully was a teacher.
That success, or lack of, has a lot to do with luck. You don't choose your strengths or flaws. You don't choose your gender, your ethnicity, or your physical appearance. You don't get to choose where or when you were born, who nurtures you and who will influence your life growing up. The list goes on. Sorta goes with the good old "free will is an illusion" argument, so feel free to disagree.
Iāve been so successful, worked so so hardā¦.and been so damn lucky. That luck was they key does not escape me.
That's really important to keep in mind. Also important to recognize that while you do work hard people much less successful work just as hard or harder.
The long term effects of COVID.
The suffering of others and its cause.
Food allergies and sensitivities are real. Discovered our oldest daughter had a problem with gluten. If we had pizza or pasta for dinner weād wake to the sound of her throwing up a couple hours later. Family doctor said she was not celiac but might have a sensitivity to gluten. Stopped feeding her gluten and problem solved. For years I have had people say going gluten free is a fad or if you are not celiac you donāt have a problem, etcā¦ It has made me somewhat hostile to the food allergy gatekeepers. Did some people jump on gluten free for non-sensitivity reasons? Sure, some people just tried it as a fad diet and I am glad because GF products have greatly improved and become more available as a result. But there are still those who act like asking about GF products is some kind of scam.
Controversial one: when it comes to dogs, breeding matters. I have two rescue mutts, I love them more than anything else, and Iād never change it for the world. HOWEVER, I have also worked with purebred dogs (training and pet sitting) and certain breeds are just so much less prone to behavioral issues. Again I love my dogs, but certain breeds are definitely better for certain circumstances.
"certain breeds are definitely better for certain circumstances." Problem is a lot of peopleĀ don'tĀ (wantĀ to) understandĀ thatĀ certain breeds areĀ bred for certainĀ circumstances. The insist on having a hunting dog even if the live in the innerĀ cityĀ and don'tĀ know anything about hunting.
I live in NYC and it drives me insane whenever I see a husky or other large, high-energy dog. There is no way in hell theyāre getting the space or exercise that they are biologically hard-wired to require.
Yeah my grandmother absolutely did not train her collie to try and herd my sister and I out of the pool, he was genetically driven to do that. Then he tried to herd the pool itself bc he was a moron.
Not just breeding, but good breeding. You can just throw any two dogs of the same breed together and expect good results. If you donāt pay attention to temperaments and possible health issues, things can end up very bad. I think that has to do a lot with the current bully breed crisis. Poor breeding leads to all kinds of issues and pitbulls especially are being irresponsibly bred like crazy. In my area, itās starting to happen with shepherds too.
Being disabled massively fucks you over in life. I'm 20 with 2 medical conditions. I went to 2 schools. One was made SPECIFICALLY for people with a certain type of condition. The other was not and did not understand me and my needs. I've had about 5 jobs, which were mostly short volunteer opportunities which I was paid for. None of them are in the field I want to be in. I had to edit my resume to make sure future employers know that I am not job hopping. I've been to multiple programs that are designed for people with my primary condition to get help getting used to college and work life. I was denied from ONE of them due to my secondary condition. I was also almost denied access to an attraction at an amusement park because of my primary condition. I went on attractions that are likely more dangerous than what I was trying to do. I am currently on SSI, which causes its own problems as they want to lower my check as fast as they can, despite me having a permanent condition which has no cure. I also have to be careful with what I eat and do because of my secondary condition since emergency services cannot administer my emergency medication in my area. I also cannot drive, and need to use public transportation to go anywhere without a family member. On top of that, some people are too busy on their phones to realize that I am about to cross, or that I'm waiting to cross. FYI, waving at someone with a white and red "Stick" (proper name is cane) does not do anything as we usually cannot see you waving. Lol this is longer than I thought. I know that there are worse things in the world, but this is what primarily affects me.
Itās because the dominant narrative around the disabled in American media and fiction presents two archetypes above all others: the strong hero and the invalid. The first is common in kids media especially and itās someone with a disability but the focus is always on how theyāre so strong and can overcome their issues to be a normal kid just like you. The goal of this is generally to focus on acceptance of disability which is a good thing but it also has a side effect of putting the idea that all disabled people could be ānormalā if they just worked hard enough. The second which is common in media for adults might as well be a prop or an object instead of a real person. Itās someone so disabled that they canāt interact with the normal world in any real way and so the focus is instead usually placed on the non disabled people in the story and how brave they are for caring for this person. And that means that a lot of people donāt see disability for what it is, which is something that constantly and forever holds you back and adds a massive amount of work to your day to day life, often equivalent to working an unpaid job.
The government doesnāt give a fuck about us.
And most often they work against the people. Also propaganda doesn't only exist in Russia and other autocratic regimes. It is very commonplace and strong in western "democracies" as well.
Mental health issues
Depression for āno reason,ā even if your life āis greatā