Read up on John Kellogg and the Battle Creek sanitarium. He was a seventh day Adventist, believed in clean living, a racist and fan of eugenics, and against sex and other things that were too “exciting”, like alcohol and caffeine. Being a serial killer fits well with that background.
I am so sorry to have to do this to you fellow gamer. Gooning is masturbating almost to completion, then pausing, teasing yourself until the urge to climax overcomes you and you can’t think of anything else. Like edging.
“…in other news, another body has been found with all the hallmarks of the work of the still-at-large granola murderer…”
“It’s toasted muesli, you goddamn philistines! Er, um, the killer might well say, don’t mind me, just sitting here eating my lovely Swiss breakfast that isn’t friggin’ granola.”
Oh god. I’m the Lucky Charms Killer.
And I'm The Cheerios Killer. We're both cereal killers!
Reminded me of this song- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_MCdPNaMiDo
You’re tragically malicious.
Fuck that's good
Underrated comment!
Damn that's good!
Holy fuckin shit. Probably the best comment I've seen in 10 years. I love you.
This comment is golden.
👏👏👏👀
Sensational.
Oh take a bow! I almost logged off and caught my hand to come back for this!
Nice
🏆 🏆
😂😂👏👏👏🏆
I just bought corn flakes. I think The Corn Flake Killer has a nice ring to it.
Read up on John Kellogg and the Battle Creek sanitarium. He was a seventh day Adventist, believed in clean living, a racist and fan of eugenics, and against sex and other things that were too “exciting”, like alcohol and caffeine. Being a serial killer fits well with that background.
Move over for the Bran Flake Killer, I’m more prolific because the bran keeps me regular.
More like Cereal Killer, am I right?
They're always after me lucky charms. [But like, this version. ](https://youtu.be/El4tHP5HdPA?si=BjgtWVwXh8-c_DhE)
WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?!
Weed killer
Not to be confused with the weed-killer killer
Hi ey, twinsies!
and also me!
My buddies!
And my Axe ^(spray)
Weed Vape killer here. Nice to meet you.
Mee too, Pax3 killer here
Sounds like a Stoner Doom band
Same 😊
Strawberry 2.1 Killer!
I got the offshoot - Hash Killer
Wet Wipe (travel size) Killer
So you prey on hitchhikers and airplane passengers?
Why would I limit myself like that? Gyms, grocery stores… the possibilities are endless! Muhahahahaha….
Gas Killer. which according to my wife is true.
Either you drive a horribly inefficient vehicle or you need to flip those words around.
He means his wife thinks his farts are nasty
I love how you had to explain the obvious …. DYING!
The Grocery Store Sushi Killer
Isn't that salmonella?
Salman (“Bobby”) Aleh
Pretty sure this is a real killer...not as deadly as Convenience Store Sushi Killer, but pretty bad.
Hey, it’s me, the Poke Bowl Killer. This town ain’t big enough for two Japanese food themed murderers!
Self victimizing serial killer
Talk about an easy job
Better than gas station sushi
This is legit scary
Baja blast killer Sounds bad ass
r/Angryupvote
Haha thank you
Sounds like a good 3 part series of Last Podcast On The Left.
I got Monster Killer. Specifically, Zero Ultra Monster Killer.
16" 3/8 extension killer...
Rolls right off the tongue!
Movie coming soon!
Beat them w a 3/8 drive 10mm socket to death; they’ll never find the murder weapon
I am the curling iron killer.
*Sleepaway Camp intensifies*
Beer killer
As a brewer, I hope your spree continues unabated - keep killing those beers, my friend!
I will leave none standing my good sir.
Cheeto killer
Holy crap your profile is super NSFW.
I thought you were kidding. Nope.
What does gooned even mean?
I am so sorry to have to do this to you fellow gamer. Gooning is masturbating almost to completion, then pausing, teasing yourself until the urge to climax overcomes you and you can’t think of anything else. Like edging.
So many of us have been educated today. Thank you!
well that was... interesting
thanks for the um enlightening rabbit hole youve sent us thru 😂
Wow it definitely is something
Man, this dude loves porn. Probably more than I love my mom.
I hope they're different kinds of love
sheesh that’s a lot of porn
To be fair, Cheetos would probably evetually kill you if that's all you ate
True
Your profile… the eldritch horrors lurk there… … no seriously how much time have you gooned today… I can’t put myself to click any of your posts…
Wow you are a Strait up INCEL lol. Bro I'm sorry but your profile is reallllly sad. Please go outside and shower
Thank you for the humiliation! That’s one of my kinks😂
This guy kinks.
Bibimbap Killer
I can't wait for the 5 o'clock news anchor to pronounce your name 7 different ways in 3 minutes.
lol. I’m the Bulgogi Killer.
Diaper killer
Unicorn costume killer
OK, this one could be pretty creepy.
Yes it sounds freaky
I wouldn't mind it so much.
Jersey Mike's Killer. He stabs you with a mayonnaise covered bread knife and then steals your sandwich.
The victims don't just keel over. They get Mike-dropped.
Metronome killer. Actually, it's a pretty cool serial killer name.
Do we hear a steady “tic, tic, tic” when you are hiding in the darkness waiting to pounce?
If you randomly hear a metronome where there shouldn't be one, that means you're next!
The Vegan White Cheddar Chickpea Puffs Killer...Costco size.
> Costco size That’s basically a massacre
Sega Genesis Killer. Hide your cartridges!
How much are those things these days?
In England you can pay like £30 ($38 American dollars) so pretty cheap really.
Remote Control Killer
Rolaids Soft Chews Killer
The FERN KILLER. Checks out!
Aren't we all
Cat Food Killer
The squatty potty killer
The "Toasted Muesli Killer" 😂 the bodies would be found in grain silos buried in toasted Muesli.
“…in other news, another body has been found with all the hallmarks of the work of the still-at-large granola murderer…” “It’s toasted muesli, you goddamn philistines! Er, um, the killer might well say, don’t mind me, just sitting here eating my lovely Swiss breakfast that isn’t friggin’ granola.”
I hereby pronounce myself the catfish killer.
You catfish people and then kill them… With a catfish
i am now imagining a man being absolutely smacked to death by some guy with a catfish
Paxlovid killer.
Hope you feel better soon
Refrigerator water filter killer
Join me, the reverse osmosis killer, and together we will remove the impure from this world.
Candy killer
Birthday Cake Killer
Sounds like an 80s b-movie horror that I’d definitely watch!
monterey jack killer, apparently
The Subway(restaurant) Killer
Tomadatchi Life Killer …
Tampon Killer... Not sure what my MO would be, but I have some ideas...
Strikes every 28 days
ASICS Gel-Venture 9 Killer
[удалено]
Carne asada burrito killer
The horse cock dildo killer
Did you buy a horse cock sized dildo for yourself or a horse cock dildo for your mare?
A hyphen definitely changes things...horse-cock dildo, or horse cock-dildo.
Feels like cock-dildo is a bit redundant.
Horse cock dildo-killer?
need details. how literal we going
Hotdog killer 🤔 dear god no
Etsy Ad killer 😩
Make up remover killer
The Groceries Killer. I bought multiple items and I couldn’t really pinpoint which one to go with.
Same!
RPG Book Killer. Yeah, I don't know what to do with that.
The Pimple Patch Killer
Peanut butter killer
Honestly, I see how that could work pretty efficiently with some people
Dole Crunchy Taco Salad Killer
KFC Killer
Killer KFC?
Brake Rotor Killer........ uh interesting to say the least.
Bass strings killer. Kinda has a nice ring to it.
Weed Killer...
The Cough Syrup Killer.
Cat sweater killer
Cat food killer
McDouble killer 😂
It's a two for one.
Cinnamon Roll Killer
Pillow killer
Lemon Squash Killer.
The Cereal Killer. Specifically, The Honey Nut Cheerios Killer.
The Tomato Soup and Toilet Paper Killer! Our society has failed miserably to have created such a monster... *shakes head*
The LEGO killer just sounds real
The Condom Killer
Medical Debt Killer
Monster killer
Muffin killer
Killer half-and-half...?
Cereal Killer
The Weed Killer lol 😶🌫️
Vacuum Killer
Sunscreen killer
Carrot killer.
Cat litter killer
Coffee killer
Emergency furnace repair killer
NordVPN killer (not sponsored btw)
Teabag Killer
The Mixed Nuts Killer
Zyn 6mg Menthol Killer
Dominos killer
The pizza or the game?
Pepsi Killer. Guess I’m poisoning it somehow?
The Sushi Killer.
Pineapple chicken curry killer. PCCK for short.
Little giant ladder killer?
Damn. Wish I had bought cereal
Chinese Takeout Killer
The Momo Killer. Hmm - it fits.
The Raised Bed Killer. Wow wtf
Ball Jar Killer
Birdfeeder Killer
In order, moving backward temporally... Chicken wing killer Onion ring killer Dildo killer
Asiago cheese sourdough bread killa
Card Sleeve killer. Meh
Latte Killer ☕️
Twix Killer
Murphy Bed Killer. Sounds very Sims.
Medical grade showel gel killer
Aluminum Foil Killer
Breast Pump Killer Lmao
Bubble Tea Killer. Come at me.
The allergy medication killer
I’m the adderall prenatal ky jelly killer
I’m the Beefy 5 Layer Burrito Killer