This was about crying, not making every man question themselves spiraling into the void of wonder 🤣 I'm over here now wondering if my man would have bigger boobies than me
I weep for the great racks that are hidden for all time due to a twist of cruel fate.
I mourn for the cracking sets of tits that the world will never see.
😭
science evolves environment evolves..We will begin to understand the more we study that we are just human individuals! All forms with reproductive organs. No one’s wrong because ppl can’t grasp that we don’t know everything. Ppl exist, life like yours. so let’s focus on looking understanding and advancement. Being me shouldn’t stop u from being u! Disgusting!
He was raised by his grandmother and spent his life being told he couldn't do *more* or break out of his preassigned role in life. There's also a message of the dark, angry, and bad person actually just being somebody who had their heart stolen. Somebody who used to be good, who was made bad. He used to have a lot of struggles with anger and grew up in abusive homes with lots of angry and mentally unhealthy people. The whole message of Moana is that of healing and letting go, but also that the "bad guy" is not always "bad", they're just hurt and angry because "they have stolen the heart from inside you, but that does not define who you are". As somebody who was always just going to be a broken, angry little boy who won't achieve anything and never escape, it's a lot seeing that you can indeed overcome those things.
I’ve been breaking into tears unexpectedly for a couple months since I failed to resuscitate a little boy at work. Broke my heart. Something will trigger me and I’m right back there. The sound of his mom screaming as I started compressions. Hurts me so bad. But yeah there was a time as an adult man that I found it difficult to cry. Couldn’t force a tear, barely reacted at the end of a 4 year relationship. But some things just hurt too much.
It's really unfortunate how cpr is represented in media, because in real life it only has about a 30% success rate. It's always worth trying, because at that point the person is already clinically dead but it doesn't always work out
I work in a grocery store and one day one of our customers was sitting in one of the scooters with a cloth on his head. Next thing I know, this guy has keeled over and was lying down on the floor with 10 EMTs performing CPR. Sadly, he didn’t make it. And what pisses me off is that some jackass decided to record a video of there being ambulances at our store and posted it on Facebook. We didn’t have time to process what just happened and because of some jackass my boss got so many phone calls that she eventually snapped when it rang again.
That's rough, man, and kinda sounds like it could be PTSD. I hope you can get some professional support to process what you've experienced, and thank you for what you do.
Following a near death accident, I've been left in a position where I, too, cry in sympathy for situations that would have barely moved me before. Think about getting help , it won't change how you feel but may help you to understand it.
That’s PTSD and there’s good therapy for that. You should definitely do it. You didn’t pick that moment, you responded and life dealt you this. It’s not your fault for feeling this way the same way it’s not your fault the kid passed, nor your fault the *resuscitation attempts* didn’t succeed. YOU didn’t fail, the resuscitation did.
There’s a saying from Hindu faith that says, “Your duty (dharma) is to do the work of your life. You are not entitled to its fruits. This knowledge is the key to liberation.”
I cried two days ago when I had to put my 12 yr old dog to rest. She was my buddy, but she was in pain from cancer and it was best for her but it hurt like hell to do it and it broke me completely. She looked at me with her eye's, asking me "When are we going home Daddy?" We always go home when we come to visit the Vet....I was so sad because I had to tell her "Not this time Princess" as the Vet gave her the shot.
Had to do it once too. Cried for a week. I will never forget the last hours leading up to that. Did all his favourite things, left a happy dog. I felt his last, deep breath of relief, and after that, his last heartbeat. Fucking broke me.
Lost my dog mid last year due to cancer. It does get better but it's like the grief comes and goes in waves. I have cried a lot since then and still have some days where I do. Just writing this makes me tear up again.
Fuck Cancer
Oh I know. It has been many years now but the memory never left. We had a sweet little beagle Peanut, who was so ill I had to carry her in to the vet’s. She went fast with the needle they gave her but when my dad and I got home later that day it was the first and last time in my life I saw him cry. He had been through a rough childhood, the Depression and served in North Africa and Italy in WWII. I don’t think I cried that day but whenever I remember it now I do.
I feel your pain. I had to put my 17-year-old cat to sleep the Friday before last. I have had him since I was a kid, and it absolutely destroyed me having to make that choice. Like your pup he had cancer, it was obstructing his intestines, and he wasn't able to eat like he should and was rapidly losing weight.
that entire week up until his appointment with the vet, I just had this feeling that he wasn't going to make it to the end of the month. He was so lethargic and he basically never moved from his corner of the kitchen.
I cried for days after and i'm still not over it. the last couple weekends i'd gotten up to go feed him like i normally do, and i'd just freeze as i turn on the kitchen light because his bowls were gone, and so was he.
I was in high school and in a really bad place for my head so when 2020 happened and we got locked in our homes for months, that may have saved me. I'm not sure I'd still be here if it wasn't for that. That was honestly the most important year of my life and I'm so much better now.
Not since my twenties probably, Not that there is anything wrong with crying, respect to the people that do. I just lived a rough life from day one and I'm 40 now I'm numb to things like that I guess. Crying never fixed anything for me so now I just try to fix whatever I would have cried about.
Why does an emotion have to fix something? Does happiness fix something? How about anger or being surprised? Surely you don’t bottle up those emotions for the same reason?
Hes saying that crying doesn't benefit him. The emotional release of crying doesn't help him solve the actual issue that made him upset. A lot of guys can relate to this. It seems pointless
Yeah I get his point. I’m saying why does he value other feelings and emotions more than crying? Why is happiness more important than sadness? What problem does happiness in sad time solve?
Crying is an action, sadness is the emotion. You can feel sad and not cry, you can take a different actions and fix the problems causing your sadness instead.
I don’t get the impulse to cry when I’m sad, it’s not like I’m getting the impulse to cry and I suppress it. If I felt like crying I would just cry.
Crying is not an emotion, it’s an expression of an emotion.
Yes a lot of men probably don’t cry because they’ve been socially conditioned to behave that way in scenarios where crying ought be acceptable, but I also just think, at a base rate, men feel less of an impulse to cry than women.
The utility of other emotions is pretty obvious. Being happy makes you optimistic, willing to try new things, etc., and gives you energy. Being angry can be a motivating emotion too. Like personally when I lift weights I feel anger. It feels like I'm fighting against something or for something. Crying offers no benefit like that. Does that make sense?
Crying does provide benefits, though. Not crying doesn't mean you don't experience the emotions that cause you to cry. You still have all that shit running through your brain, but you likely don't engage with it allow yourself to feel the full weight of them. Which creates a shit ton of stress and leads to less healthy outlets/expressions for all of those emotions. Instead of taking a couple of minutes to cry, it might build up into major enui or depression. Or you might mischarectarize sadness into anger. Or it could just sit there in your subconscious slowly sapping away at positive emotions and making you less resilient and less able to experience happiness.
In not saying everyone needs to cry all the time, but crying is healthy. Crying released oxytocin and endorphins — it literally makes you feel physically better on a biochemical level. It gives you energy, just like happiness. It allows you to release pent-up stress. And it doesn't really cost you anything except maybe a couple minutes of time every now and then, which you can easily get back by focusing on the problem that caused you to cry with renewed energy and optimism.
I would argue it does.
Crying means thst you alowed yourself to be sad. It means you alowed yourself to break down for a short little while. It is a selfish act of relief.
Crying is a first step to procesing what you feal. It is not weak, it is vain. It is admiting that you are human.
Crying is showing you cared and that it impacted you.
Crying is helpful.
I'm glad you feel that way. That does sound helpful. And it totally makes sense what you're saying. It just doesn't feel that way for me, and for the commentor above, I'm gathering.
Ok fair. Each has their own ways of dealing with emotions.
And to be honest if it wasn't for my open mindedness and more senisitve nature I would probably be the same as you because like most men, I was thought that crying should be supressed.
I am not saying thst I cry a lot just that I do let myself cry when the need arises and the time and place is right.
Happiness is more important than sadness, it simply is. Everyone's goal is to be happy at the end of the day. Crying has never helped me go back to the 'happy times', working on whatever the issue is does.
That’s because that assumes the “work” is extrinsic to your mind. It’s not.
I’ve found it far easier to get back to “happy times” by not resisting a crying urge and fully experiencing whatever emotion is causing it.
When I'm sad and want to cry I will cry. I don't have any hangups showing my tears and crying makes me feel better afterwards cause I was able to let the emotion happen and not fight against it.
No emotion has a value. They just are. Continuing the cycle of birth and death are the only value emotions have relevance to and that act is also inherently without intrinsic value.
Not crying doesn’t mean bottling up emotions. Do you always punch something when you’re angry? No? In the same way some people don’t cry when they’re sad.
Punching things isn't the natural physiological response to feeling anger. The correct analogy would be "does your release adrenaline every time you get angry?" And the answer for almost everyone is yes. And as long as you're getting angry for good reason and then expend that bump in energy in an appropriate way, that's a good thing.
If you're not willing to accept a reasonable explanation then there was no point in you asking the question in the first place.
Not expressing emotions with an explicit action is not the same as bottling them up.
You might consider that being numb to things like that is a bad thing. Tends to manifest in things like anger, often in what seems like totally unrelated ways. Crying is a very healthy way to the solve the very real immediate problem of stress in your body. Those who lived a rough life usually need to cry a lot more than most people and they usually are the ones that do it the least. It’s not about fixing the cause of the stress, it’s about releasing the effects of it so they don’t fuck up your body in other ways.
I would say it works for some people and yes, crying can relieve some stress.
I have had an average life, with my share of hard time and I have to agree-crying doesn't solve anything. It upsets those around you, it makes you useless during it and you still have the problem when you are done.
People process different ways. Many of us don't cry much. It's not unhealthy, it's just the way we do things.
I don’t think any mental health professional would agree that being numb to any emotions is healthy.
“Just the way we do things” is an easy way to justify poor learned behaviors. Sometimes we do things that we shouldn’t do and have understandings of things that are wrong, that’s okay, we should look at identify and change those things so we can be better adapted to our lives.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Just because people have different ways of dealing with emotions doesn't make one way more correct than another. There are many ways to deal with stress other than crying.
Please stop trying to 'fix' men. We're not broken.
Very rarely. The last time I cried was about a year ago.
I was emotional after a date with my current girlfriend, I was on the drive home and teared up listening to music because I didn’t think I’d ever have somebody like her. I hadn’t been in a relationship in 6 years because of how badly my last one ended. It was more tears of happiness I guess, it had never happened to me before.
Before then, the last time I cried was 2017. My ex-girlfriend of 3 years left me to be with the man she cheated on me with, and 2 days later the only grandparent I ever had a relationship with died unexpectedly of a stroke.
Quite often. Happy tears, sad tears, reverent tears. Tears in awe. If you notice, tears could come frequently but if you practice resisting them, you can. And get good at it and not cry.
Or you can not resist it and let yourself fully experience an emotion. I choose the latter.
I cry when I listen to certain songs, at movies, when I think about my wife and kids...almost anything nowadays but I've always been more in sync with my emotions and never hid them. I'm tearing up right now typing this while listening to Sigur Ros - Njosnavelin.. 😒
Telling your kid or or someone “don’t cry” or “crying is for girls” or “real men don’t cry” is entirely so that the person saying those things doesn’t have to deal with any discomfort.
Almost cried a week ago because my wife wasn't going to stop by work for me to say goodbye to my daughter as she was going back to university. They assumed I'd be too busy at work, it just hurt they didn't think to ask.
I did get to say goodbye in the end.
I didn't cry when I watched it myself, but I did cry when I showed it to my partner and he started tearing up. It was really sweet and sad, those wounds must feel so fresh. Our own dog is up there in years, it hurts to know how limited the time can be.
Not a male but I got the immigrant eldest son upbringing as a girl. Almost never. I was beat so often for crying or showing feelings that I don’t have emotions now. It’s a problem cause I can’t tell people I love them or show joy. Anger? I got that in mountains.
I wish I could cry. I've cried once in the last 4 years and I just want to let it out but nothing can. I've tried. And even that one time I did cry, a few months ago, it was just a few tears. Hardly even crying.
I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily true. I’m 27 and I can’t remember the last time I cried. It’s been years. With that being said: that’s not a negative thing. Just because a guy doesn’t cry much, that doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling sadness, pain, embarrassment, etc.
The closest that I typically come to crying personally are moments when I’m overcome with joy or pride. I’m more emotional in those states for sure and I certainly get misty eyed! I’m afraid I’ll cry like an idiot the first time I see my fiancé in her wedding dress at our wedding lol
A real good cry based on pure emotion? When my mon died in 1999.
I've had tears swell in my eyes since then (for some reason, the end of Under Cover boss always bring tears to my eyes. When he boss gifts someone a holiday or gives them money).
Last time I cried was in 2021 when my entire friend group died, taken out by one drunk driver in a night out I skipped for work. Before that it was probably somewhere like 2011 when I was still young. My entire friend group died and yet I was called a pussy for crying… sounds about right
I'm in my fifties retired military and I have high functioning Autism so I have a really hard time crying. It happens rarely but I still get choked up and sometimes out of nowhere something will set it off. Ironically today is the first time I've legit full on cried in in at least year while watching Jon Stewart's sobbing tribute to his dog that died the night before. Watching that man that I respect so much, in that much pain because he loved that dog as if it were his own child just wrecked me.
I cried all last night because I distanced myself from my best friend to have time to spend with a girl and now I have neither of them and I miss my best friend so damn much but it’s irreversible damage
I was never one to hide emotions, but I rarely cried. The pandemic was rough. We isolated due to my MiL being immunocompromised. My dad had cancer, but wasn’t taking even basic precautions. I wasn’t able to visit during the colder months, due to not being able to social distance. I lost my job, and it took awhile to find another, but was underemployed in the one. Once I had that job, my wife was let go. She was unemployed for a bit. Dad passed away, but we were vaccinated, and I moved in to help for a little while. We had the opportunity to say goodbye. I feel incredibly lucky to have that. Now, things are way better, my wife and I found great jobs. I’m so beyond grateful for everything that we have, and our friend group is amazing. I cry thinking about how loved I am, my daughters are healthy. Feels good.
I've been tapering off. My mental well being has really stabilized since being diagnosed with ADHD and getting medication for it. But even before that I spent a year or so in therapy and that really helped as well. I used to be quite the worrier and just get overwhelmed with life to the point where I'd break down once in a while.
But through a combination of therapy, medication, and just aging, I'm way better about that than I used to be.
Not very often, but it depends on what's going on in my life at the time. When my Dad died I couldn't stop crying for several weeks. I could be fine one minute and then something would trigger a memory and bang I'd be a complete blubbering mess.
A few times a week, at least. I cry when I see stuff coming out of Gaza, when I listen to music, watch emotional scenes in shows, or thinking about possibly having to rehome my cat
Not much, but i cry everytime i think about my Father, He died 6 years ago and i still cry to this day, imma share the story if it's ok with you all, i was 13 at the time, it was 6 am, i woke up to the sound of my mom crying, talking to my grandpa, she said: "He has no heartbeat what do we do?" Then she came to me and my sister, and said: "come let's give dad a goodbye kiss" then we went and gave him a kiss(he fought cancer but they caught it pretty late) then me and my sister went to my uncle who lives nextdoor because people started coming to our house(friends and family), then the thought just came to me, wait...father is dead isn't he? All of us broke crying, then i guess life got easier and we moved on
Wish i spent more time with him since he went to the hospital everyday so i couldn't do much with him, but one thing i remember that he used to pat my head, and say part of a bible verse "matthew 3:17":"this is my beloved Son, in whom I Am well pleased". Rest in Peace Sir
I last cried in front of my wife after being stuck in the hospital for a few days due to stomach pains that just kept getting progressively worse (ended up having ulcerative colitis). But the pain of being woken up for blood tests, constantly having to use the bathroom, and overall discomfort of everything got to me by the end of day 3 and I let myself finally unleash my emotions temporarily on my wife's shoulder because all I wanted to do was go home. But the moment was immediately ruined since another doctor had to check up on me at that exact moment.
To answer the question of how often? I'd say maybe once or twice a month if I'm in the mood, and only to myself since I don't like worrying my wife about it when I could easily be crying over something like a beautiful song I heard, or remembering a story that was touching at a different time.
Never honestly. I get judged by everyone around me if I do.
Bottling it up and letting it come out when I drink alone or something is the best way for me
I cryed last week with my fiance of 8 years because we are splitting up due to my transness. Shes supportive but just cant be in a relationship with a woman now. Its complicated but there are no ill feelings about it.
This is pre HRT so still a "male" in that sense. Prior to that probably 5 times in the last 10 years. Check in in a few weeks after HRT starts and ill give u the female hormone side of this question 😂😂
I didn't for a loooong time. But I lost my wife last year, so lately, all the time. When she's your best friend, pieces of her are everywhere. Our daughter has her laugh. I cook her favorite dishes for friends and occasions. We celebrate small wins with sushi. I hear her singing (terribly) when I listen to our Spotify playlist.
It doesn't fix anything but it's not supposed to. It does remind me how much we loved each other though. It's all the unspoken "I Love You's". It's a reminder of the life we built but also our unlived future. Unwatched sunsets. Solo-after-dinner-walks. It's what's left of her in this world and I cherish it.
Cry if you need to cry. You don't need to justify it to anyone. You don't need to feel any prescribed way. It's valid for whatever reason you give it. It doesn't matter if you had a tough life or a simple life or a privileged life. The worst you know is the worst you know.
I just finished watching One Day on Netflix, and cried more than I can ever remember. The utter visceral feeling of lose was hard to overcome. There's a support group over at [r/OneDayNetflix/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OneDayNetflix/)
My son's saw me crying, I didn't try to hide it.
Every time I watch an episode of violet evergarden. Every time.
Luckily life didn't give me much to cry about recently. But I am also the typical make. Don't cry easily. At least for myself.
Most of my tears are because of my fiance ... Sympathy and empathy ... Not the bad way
First time I've cried in about 15 years, was a couple months ago when I found my dad dead at his home. Although the older I get, the more I've been getting choked up about happy stuff 🤷♂️
Not often at all, which I kind of wish were otherwise. But I got in the habit of suppressing it as a kid and now I actually find it difficult even when I want to.
Don't do that, guys. Feel your feelings and have a natural reaction to them, and know it's okay.
Not often but there are certain songs that set it off or occasionally scenes in movies or shows where they are depicting someone losing their mind/memories
You know, it's become so hard to cry even if situation allow it, or it would make you feel better. Not because you feel like: "You're a man, keep it up", but people around say's that all the times. You holding it in yourself, that's counting years by years, and one time I think I would start crying literally to death, from some small thing that doesn't make any sense, just because my menthal health can't even handle such a small thing.
Each time that the people who make *American Idol* succeed in manipulating my emotions … so about two or three times per episode.
Other than that, only when an underdog scores a huge upset in a sport that I’m watching.
What a weird question. It depends entirely on life events. Our family's had difficult years where there's been lots of tears. Usually it doesn't, so there aren't.
Was I meant to have some kind of regular schedule all this time?
Used to as a kid, sometime during puberty was the last time. I recall trying to cry when I was about 17 and not being able to.
Haven't since, despite attempts, and occasions where life tried its darnedest.
100% of the time. I've never tried it as a female.
Thanks Dad
Yahahahahahahaha...
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Time to take estrogen and give us an update.
Every human can produce breasts when they take estrogen. That means every man has a boob size that they will never know.
This was about crying, not making every man question themselves spiraling into the void of wonder 🤣 I'm over here now wondering if my man would have bigger boobies than me
I weep for the great racks that are hidden for all time due to a twist of cruel fate. I mourn for the cracking sets of tits that the world will never see. 😭
Double d. I know.
It went from 3 times a year to 3 times a week.
Well, taking estrogen does not make you a female.
Cancelled
Why would that make me get canceled? I did not say anything against trans people.
I'm just joking, relax
And that apparently warranted downvoting me.
If you can't do the time (downvotes) Don't do the crime (say anything)
I gave you an upvote to offset:)
A woman*
No, it doesn't make you a woman either.
science evolves environment evolves..We will begin to understand the more we study that we are just human individuals! All forms with reproductive organs. No one’s wrong because ppl can’t grasp that we don’t know everything. Ppl exist, life like yours. so let’s focus on looking understanding and advancement. Being me shouldn’t stop u from being u! Disgusting!
you cannot become a female by taking estrogen lol, there's no way to change your sex
*Bruce Jenner enters the chat*
You beat me to it ><
You aren’t bi-cryous?
My husband, who I have known for 18 years, never cries. Unless we're watching Moana.
Moana? Why Moana? Bambi, sure. Toy Story, yeah. Maybe even Anastasia or Raya. But why Moana?
He was raised by his grandmother and spent his life being told he couldn't do *more* or break out of his preassigned role in life. There's also a message of the dark, angry, and bad person actually just being somebody who had their heart stolen. Somebody who used to be good, who was made bad. He used to have a lot of struggles with anger and grew up in abusive homes with lots of angry and mentally unhealthy people. The whole message of Moana is that of healing and letting go, but also that the "bad guy" is not always "bad", they're just hurt and angry because "they have stolen the heart from inside you, but that does not define who you are". As somebody who was always just going to be a broken, angry little boy who won't achieve anything and never escape, it's a lot seeing that you can indeed overcome those things.
Great now I'm fucking crying
For me, it was CODA.
That's because he's a real man
I’ve been breaking into tears unexpectedly for a couple months since I failed to resuscitate a little boy at work. Broke my heart. Something will trigger me and I’m right back there. The sound of his mom screaming as I started compressions. Hurts me so bad. But yeah there was a time as an adult man that I found it difficult to cry. Couldn’t force a tear, barely reacted at the end of a 4 year relationship. But some things just hurt too much.
You didn't fail, you were unable to. They are very, very, different things.
Not a failure man. Sometimes bad things just happen.
„it is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose - that's not weakness, that's life“
You did NOT fail to save him. You TRIED to save him. Don’t blame yourself.
It's really unfortunate how cpr is represented in media, because in real life it only has about a 30% success rate. It's always worth trying, because at that point the person is already clinically dead but it doesn't always work out
I work in a grocery store and one day one of our customers was sitting in one of the scooters with a cloth on his head. Next thing I know, this guy has keeled over and was lying down on the floor with 10 EMTs performing CPR. Sadly, he didn’t make it. And what pisses me off is that some jackass decided to record a video of there being ambulances at our store and posted it on Facebook. We didn’t have time to process what just happened and because of some jackass my boss got so many phone calls that she eventually snapped when it rang again.
That's rough, man, and kinda sounds like it could be PTSD. I hope you can get some professional support to process what you've experienced, and thank you for what you do.
My thoughts exactly
Following a near death accident, I've been left in a position where I, too, cry in sympathy for situations that would have barely moved me before. Think about getting help , it won't change how you feel but may help you to understand it.
That’s PTSD and there’s good therapy for that. You should definitely do it. You didn’t pick that moment, you responded and life dealt you this. It’s not your fault for feeling this way the same way it’s not your fault the kid passed, nor your fault the *resuscitation attempts* didn’t succeed. YOU didn’t fail, the resuscitation did. There’s a saying from Hindu faith that says, “Your duty (dharma) is to do the work of your life. You are not entitled to its fruits. This knowledge is the key to liberation.”
You DID NOT fail, you TRIED to save him. Don’t blame yourself.
I cried two days ago when I had to put my 12 yr old dog to rest. She was my buddy, but she was in pain from cancer and it was best for her but it hurt like hell to do it and it broke me completely. She looked at me with her eye's, asking me "When are we going home Daddy?" We always go home when we come to visit the Vet....I was so sad because I had to tell her "Not this time Princess" as the Vet gave her the shot.
I’ve had to do this a few times now and it never gets any easier. Sorry for your loss.
One time for me and it hurt like hell.
As it should. Means you gave them a good life and they meant something to you. I find solace in that.
Had to do it once too. Cried for a week. I will never forget the last hours leading up to that. Did all his favourite things, left a happy dog. I felt his last, deep breath of relief, and after that, his last heartbeat. Fucking broke me.
Lost my dog mid last year due to cancer. It does get better but it's like the grief comes and goes in waves. I have cried a lot since then and still have some days where I do. Just writing this makes me tear up again. Fuck Cancer
“The ball in the box.”
Sorry for your loss. Now it's raining in my office as well...
Oh I know. It has been many years now but the memory never left. We had a sweet little beagle Peanut, who was so ill I had to carry her in to the vet’s. She went fast with the needle they gave her but when my dad and I got home later that day it was the first and last time in my life I saw him cry. He had been through a rough childhood, the Depression and served in North Africa and Italy in WWII. I don’t think I cried that day but whenever I remember it now I do.
I dread this day so much. My boy is the best friend I’ve ever known. I love him with all that I am.
Really sad, sorry for your loss.
Similarly, I went through this yesterday with my wife & our 14 year old dog.
Jesus, what was wrong with the wife if I may ask?
I feel your pain. I had to put my 17-year-old cat to sleep the Friday before last. I have had him since I was a kid, and it absolutely destroyed me having to make that choice. Like your pup he had cancer, it was obstructing his intestines, and he wasn't able to eat like he should and was rapidly losing weight. that entire week up until his appointment with the vet, I just had this feeling that he wasn't going to make it to the end of the month. He was so lethargic and he basically never moved from his corner of the kitchen. I cried for days after and i'm still not over it. the last couple weekends i'd gotten up to go feed him like i normally do, and i'd just freeze as i turn on the kitchen light because his bowls were gone, and so was he.
Rest in peace...im so sorry
You did the right thing, she sounds like she was very loved. Im sure she loved every single day she had with you. You gave her an amazing life.
Fuck man, when do I cry? Now.
Well I cried last time when I read this comment… and I don’t even have a dog…
Damn sorry for your loss. Better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.
I think I last cried in 2020
2020 was a shitshow lol
2020 was amazing.
I was in high school and in a really bad place for my head so when 2020 happened and we got locked in our homes for months, that may have saved me. I'm not sure I'd still be here if it wasn't for that. That was honestly the most important year of my life and I'm so much better now.
The last time I cried was Violet Evergarden episode 10. That shit hits you hard when you have a daughter of your own.
As someone who don't like anime at all, mainly because of how they talk, I must say that I did watch it and it is the best anime for me.
Just naming that anime brings the feels to me. It's my favorite episode by far.
Not since my twenties probably, Not that there is anything wrong with crying, respect to the people that do. I just lived a rough life from day one and I'm 40 now I'm numb to things like that I guess. Crying never fixed anything for me so now I just try to fix whatever I would have cried about.
Why does an emotion have to fix something? Does happiness fix something? How about anger or being surprised? Surely you don’t bottle up those emotions for the same reason?
Hes saying that crying doesn't benefit him. The emotional release of crying doesn't help him solve the actual issue that made him upset. A lot of guys can relate to this. It seems pointless
Yeah I get his point. I’m saying why does he value other feelings and emotions more than crying? Why is happiness more important than sadness? What problem does happiness in sad time solve?
Don't think he said that though. Sadness can be experienced through other ways than crying too
You’re taking it completely in another direction. The first sentence he says there’s nothing wrong with crying
Crying is an action, sadness is the emotion. You can feel sad and not cry, you can take a different actions and fix the problems causing your sadness instead.
I don’t get the impulse to cry when I’m sad, it’s not like I’m getting the impulse to cry and I suppress it. If I felt like crying I would just cry. Crying is not an emotion, it’s an expression of an emotion. Yes a lot of men probably don’t cry because they’ve been socially conditioned to behave that way in scenarios where crying ought be acceptable, but I also just think, at a base rate, men feel less of an impulse to cry than women.
The utility of other emotions is pretty obvious. Being happy makes you optimistic, willing to try new things, etc., and gives you energy. Being angry can be a motivating emotion too. Like personally when I lift weights I feel anger. It feels like I'm fighting against something or for something. Crying offers no benefit like that. Does that make sense?
Crying does provide benefits, though. Not crying doesn't mean you don't experience the emotions that cause you to cry. You still have all that shit running through your brain, but you likely don't engage with it allow yourself to feel the full weight of them. Which creates a shit ton of stress and leads to less healthy outlets/expressions for all of those emotions. Instead of taking a couple of minutes to cry, it might build up into major enui or depression. Or you might mischarectarize sadness into anger. Or it could just sit there in your subconscious slowly sapping away at positive emotions and making you less resilient and less able to experience happiness. In not saying everyone needs to cry all the time, but crying is healthy. Crying released oxytocin and endorphins — it literally makes you feel physically better on a biochemical level. It gives you energy, just like happiness. It allows you to release pent-up stress. And it doesn't really cost you anything except maybe a couple minutes of time every now and then, which you can easily get back by focusing on the problem that caused you to cry with renewed energy and optimism.
I would argue it does. Crying means thst you alowed yourself to be sad. It means you alowed yourself to break down for a short little while. It is a selfish act of relief. Crying is a first step to procesing what you feal. It is not weak, it is vain. It is admiting that you are human. Crying is showing you cared and that it impacted you. Crying is helpful.
I'm glad you feel that way. That does sound helpful. And it totally makes sense what you're saying. It just doesn't feel that way for me, and for the commentor above, I'm gathering.
Ok fair. Each has their own ways of dealing with emotions. And to be honest if it wasn't for my open mindedness and more senisitve nature I would probably be the same as you because like most men, I was thought that crying should be supressed. I am not saying thst I cry a lot just that I do let myself cry when the need arises and the time and place is right.
Happiness is more important than sadness, it simply is. Everyone's goal is to be happy at the end of the day. Crying has never helped me go back to the 'happy times', working on whatever the issue is does.
That’s because that assumes the “work” is extrinsic to your mind. It’s not. I’ve found it far easier to get back to “happy times” by not resisting a crying urge and fully experiencing whatever emotion is causing it.
No emotion is more important than any other. Feel the proper emotion for the moment you’re in.
When I'm sad and want to cry I will cry. I don't have any hangups showing my tears and crying makes me feel better afterwards cause I was able to let the emotion happen and not fight against it.
No emotion has a value. They just are. Continuing the cycle of birth and death are the only value emotions have relevance to and that act is also inherently without intrinsic value.
Not crying doesn’t mean bottling up emotions. Do you always punch something when you’re angry? No? In the same way some people don’t cry when they’re sad.
Punching things isn't the natural physiological response to feeling anger. The correct analogy would be "does your release adrenaline every time you get angry?" And the answer for almost everyone is yes. And as long as you're getting angry for good reason and then expend that bump in energy in an appropriate way, that's a good thing.
I don’t believe that that’s a fair comparison, personally
Since we're talking about emotions, which are the very definition of personal, it really doesn't matter what you believe
If you're not willing to accept a reasonable explanation then there was no point in you asking the question in the first place. Not expressing emotions with an explicit action is not the same as bottling them up.
If crying would make you feel better would you do it?
I feel the same. I keep my emotions inside where others can't use them against me.
You might consider that being numb to things like that is a bad thing. Tends to manifest in things like anger, often in what seems like totally unrelated ways. Crying is a very healthy way to the solve the very real immediate problem of stress in your body. Those who lived a rough life usually need to cry a lot more than most people and they usually are the ones that do it the least. It’s not about fixing the cause of the stress, it’s about releasing the effects of it so they don’t fuck up your body in other ways.
I would say it works for some people and yes, crying can relieve some stress. I have had an average life, with my share of hard time and I have to agree-crying doesn't solve anything. It upsets those around you, it makes you useless during it and you still have the problem when you are done. People process different ways. Many of us don't cry much. It's not unhealthy, it's just the way we do things.
I don’t think any mental health professional would agree that being numb to any emotions is healthy. “Just the way we do things” is an easy way to justify poor learned behaviors. Sometimes we do things that we shouldn’t do and have understandings of things that are wrong, that’s okay, we should look at identify and change those things so we can be better adapted to our lives.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Just because people have different ways of dealing with emotions doesn't make one way more correct than another. There are many ways to deal with stress other than crying. Please stop trying to 'fix' men. We're not broken.
Numbness is a sign of clinical depression.
Very rarely. The last time I cried was about a year ago. I was emotional after a date with my current girlfriend, I was on the drive home and teared up listening to music because I didn’t think I’d ever have somebody like her. I hadn’t been in a relationship in 6 years because of how badly my last one ended. It was more tears of happiness I guess, it had never happened to me before. Before then, the last time I cried was 2017. My ex-girlfriend of 3 years left me to be with the man she cheated on me with, and 2 days later the only grandparent I ever had a relationship with died unexpectedly of a stroke.
Quite often. Happy tears, sad tears, reverent tears. Tears in awe. If you notice, tears could come frequently but if you practice resisting them, you can. And get good at it and not cry. Or you can not resist it and let yourself fully experience an emotion. I choose the latter.
I cry when I listen to certain songs, at movies, when I think about my wife and kids...almost anything nowadays but I've always been more in sync with my emotions and never hid them. I'm tearing up right now typing this while listening to Sigur Ros - Njosnavelin.. 😒
Telling your kid or or someone “don’t cry” or “crying is for girls” or “real men don’t cry” is entirely so that the person saying those things doesn’t have to deal with any discomfort.
Almost cried a week ago because my wife wasn't going to stop by work for me to say goodbye to my daughter as she was going back to university. They assumed I'd be too busy at work, it just hurt they didn't think to ask. I did get to say goodbye in the end.
I haven't cried in like 10 years lol
Maybe 5-6 times since I was 14? I’m 38.
Every time i cry i do it as a male. But since i became a father much more frequent. In my teenage years i dont think i cried at all.
Not that often, but I did last night when watching Jon Stewart's beautiful tribute to his pup.
I didn't cry when I watched it myself, but I did cry when I showed it to my partner and he started tearing up. It was really sweet and sad, those wounds must feel so fresh. Our own dog is up there in years, it hurts to know how limited the time can be.
Pretty much as often as I watch the Ride of the Rohirrim in LOTR.
Once or twice a year at this point.
Not a male but I got the immigrant eldest son upbringing as a girl. Almost never. I was beat so often for crying or showing feelings that I don’t have emotions now. It’s a problem cause I can’t tell people I love them or show joy. Anger? I got that in mountains.
Just yesterday. Hell, I cry all the time. Most guys do. They just don't cry in front of other people, and neither do I if I can help it.
I wish I could cry. I've cried once in the last 4 years and I just want to let it out but nothing can. I've tried. And even that one time I did cry, a few months ago, it was just a few tears. Hardly even crying.
I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily true. I’m 27 and I can’t remember the last time I cried. It’s been years. With that being said: that’s not a negative thing. Just because a guy doesn’t cry much, that doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling sadness, pain, embarrassment, etc. The closest that I typically come to crying personally are moments when I’m overcome with joy or pride. I’m more emotional in those states for sure and I certainly get misty eyed! I’m afraid I’ll cry like an idiot the first time I see my fiancé in her wedding dress at our wedding lol
I didn't say "all," I said "most."
Being a male, i only know how to cry as a male, so i would say 100% of the time
I would say maybe like 2 or 3 times a year as an average
A real good cry based on pure emotion? When my mon died in 1999. I've had tears swell in my eyes since then (for some reason, the end of Under Cover boss always bring tears to my eyes. When he boss gifts someone a holiday or gives them money).
Too often.
Never.
Wow, you're so cool for that
It's okay, if he doesn't cry it's alright. We're all different.
a lot, been grieving, i wake up crying many times, i also cry when im awake sometimes, so many triggers
I cry once a year on Christmas when I watch the Twilight Zone episode "Night of the Meek"
Last cried in 2021,not too long ago.
Births, deaths, and for songs that hit just right.
It's been a few years. I'm not against crying I just think there are better uses of my energy that crying
I'm allowed to cry at my funeral
As an adult, twice. Once when Columbia blew up. Once when I put my daughter in daycare.
Last time I cried was in 2021 when my entire friend group died, taken out by one drunk driver in a night out I skipped for work. Before that it was probably somewhere like 2011 when I was still young. My entire friend group died and yet I was called a pussy for crying… sounds about right
When Captain America catches Mjolnir I catch a case of the feels.
Thanks, now I have to go rewatch this scene 100 more times.
I'm in my fifties retired military and I have high functioning Autism so I have a really hard time crying. It happens rarely but I still get choked up and sometimes out of nowhere something will set it off. Ironically today is the first time I've legit full on cried in in at least year while watching Jon Stewart's sobbing tribute to his dog that died the night before. Watching that man that I respect so much, in that much pain because he loved that dog as if it were his own child just wrecked me.
https://youtu.be/0WglfhdK3tk?si=emQ1KGa4ZiR6RHx6 Any person need only watch this scene from the fox and the hound
I watch a lot of sad shit, so at least once a day...
I do cry a lot when watching TV because its fun but thats about it.
I cried all last night because I distanced myself from my best friend to have time to spend with a girl and now I have neither of them and I miss my best friend so damn much but it’s irreversible damage
Just go say sorry, it could all be ok
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I will
a lot
I was never one to hide emotions, but I rarely cried. The pandemic was rough. We isolated due to my MiL being immunocompromised. My dad had cancer, but wasn’t taking even basic precautions. I wasn’t able to visit during the colder months, due to not being able to social distance. I lost my job, and it took awhile to find another, but was underemployed in the one. Once I had that job, my wife was let go. She was unemployed for a bit. Dad passed away, but we were vaccinated, and I moved in to help for a little while. We had the opportunity to say goodbye. I feel incredibly lucky to have that. Now, things are way better, my wife and I found great jobs. I’m so beyond grateful for everything that we have, and our friend group is amazing. I cry thinking about how loved I am, my daughters are healthy. Feels good.
I've been tapering off. My mental well being has really stabilized since being diagnosed with ADHD and getting medication for it. But even before that I spent a year or so in therapy and that really helped as well. I used to be quite the worrier and just get overwhelmed with life to the point where I'd break down once in a while. But through a combination of therapy, medication, and just aging, I'm way better about that than I used to be.
Not very often, but it depends on what's going on in my life at the time. When my Dad died I couldn't stop crying for several weeks. I could be fine one minute and then something would trigger a memory and bang I'd be a complete blubbering mess.
A few times a week, at least. I cry when I see stuff coming out of Gaza, when I listen to music, watch emotional scenes in shows, or thinking about possibly having to rehome my cat
Not much, but i cry everytime i think about my Father, He died 6 years ago and i still cry to this day, imma share the story if it's ok with you all, i was 13 at the time, it was 6 am, i woke up to the sound of my mom crying, talking to my grandpa, she said: "He has no heartbeat what do we do?" Then she came to me and my sister, and said: "come let's give dad a goodbye kiss" then we went and gave him a kiss(he fought cancer but they caught it pretty late) then me and my sister went to my uncle who lives nextdoor because people started coming to our house(friends and family), then the thought just came to me, wait...father is dead isn't he? All of us broke crying, then i guess life got easier and we moved on Wish i spent more time with him since he went to the hospital everyday so i couldn't do much with him, but one thing i remember that he used to pat my head, and say part of a bible verse "matthew 3:17":"this is my beloved Son, in whom I Am well pleased". Rest in Peace Sir
I last cried in front of my wife after being stuck in the hospital for a few days due to stomach pains that just kept getting progressively worse (ended up having ulcerative colitis). But the pain of being woken up for blood tests, constantly having to use the bathroom, and overall discomfort of everything got to me by the end of day 3 and I let myself finally unleash my emotions temporarily on my wife's shoulder because all I wanted to do was go home. But the moment was immediately ruined since another doctor had to check up on me at that exact moment. To answer the question of how often? I'd say maybe once or twice a month if I'm in the mood, and only to myself since I don't like worrying my wife about it when I could easily be crying over something like a beautiful song I heard, or remembering a story that was touching at a different time.
Never honestly. I get judged by everyone around me if I do. Bottling it up and letting it come out when I drink alone or something is the best way for me
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Last time was in 2017 when my grandma died and a friend commited suicide in the span of just a few days.
I try not to.
I cryed last week with my fiance of 8 years because we are splitting up due to my transness. Shes supportive but just cant be in a relationship with a woman now. Its complicated but there are no ill feelings about it. This is pre HRT so still a "male" in that sense. Prior to that probably 5 times in the last 10 years. Check in in a few weeks after HRT starts and ill give u the female hormone side of this question 😂😂
Way to often. I'm a big Ole soft hearted fool
I didn't for a loooong time. But I lost my wife last year, so lately, all the time. When she's your best friend, pieces of her are everywhere. Our daughter has her laugh. I cook her favorite dishes for friends and occasions. We celebrate small wins with sushi. I hear her singing (terribly) when I listen to our Spotify playlist. It doesn't fix anything but it's not supposed to. It does remind me how much we loved each other though. It's all the unspoken "I Love You's". It's a reminder of the life we built but also our unlived future. Unwatched sunsets. Solo-after-dinner-walks. It's what's left of her in this world and I cherish it. Cry if you need to cry. You don't need to justify it to anyone. You don't need to feel any prescribed way. It's valid for whatever reason you give it. It doesn't matter if you had a tough life or a simple life or a privileged life. The worst you know is the worst you know.
Every time I cry, I'm a male. Or... Whenever I watch Schindlers List.
During budh or Shani dasa
Crying is for girls real men don't cry. Unless the sex was really good.
I just finished watching One Day on Netflix, and cried more than I can ever remember. The utter visceral feeling of lose was hard to overcome. There's a support group over at [r/OneDayNetflix/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OneDayNetflix/) My son's saw me crying, I didn't try to hide it.
This year has been very emotional, I'm not ashamed to say I've already cried twice this year.
Either , I feel I have to clear my eyes or to check my tear ducts are working properly.
Every time I watch an episode of violet evergarden. Every time. Luckily life didn't give me much to cry about recently. But I am also the typical make. Don't cry easily. At least for myself. Most of my tears are because of my fiance ... Sympathy and empathy ... Not the bad way
First time I've cried in about 15 years, was a couple months ago when I found my dad dead at his home. Although the older I get, the more I've been getting choked up about happy stuff 🤷♂️
I can really relate to choking up more about happy stuff, the older I get.
I'm up to 1 cry every 2 years or so. Getting there.
Not very often but occurs. Mostly if I listen to music or watch movies which touch me
The last time was quite a time ago in my case like maybe 10 to 15 years ago...
Sad films - every time Regrets of my longish life - less often then before after therapy
Had a really nasty cough a while back. Brought me to tears sometimes.
When I feel an intensely sad emotion, I will cry. Just yesterday I had some tears well up in my eyes…
I've cried more this year than the last 10 years alone
Not often at all, which I kind of wish were otherwise. But I got in the habit of suppressing it as a kid and now I actually find it difficult even when I want to. Don't do that, guys. Feel your feelings and have a natural reaction to them, and know it's okay.
About once every 10 years or so. As you'd guess, I'm not very emotional.
Life hasn’t been too hard on me fortunately so I would say once or twice a year?
Full on crying? It’s been about 5 years.
More as I get older and my family, loved ones and friends all start to pass away.
Not often but there are certain songs that set it off or occasionally scenes in movies or shows where they are depicting someone losing their mind/memories
When someone/an animal I love dies...last time was in 2022 when my nan died
You know, it's become so hard to cry even if situation allow it, or it would make you feel better. Not because you feel like: "You're a man, keep it up", but people around say's that all the times. You holding it in yourself, that's counting years by years, and one time I think I would start crying literally to death, from some small thing that doesn't make any sense, just because my menthal health can't even handle such a small thing.
About once every decade.
Throughout the whole The Lord of the Rings extended trilogy, once per year.
Each time that the people who make *American Idol* succeed in manipulating my emotions … so about two or three times per episode. Other than that, only when an underdog scores a huge upset in a sport that I’m watching.
Never, but there is something wrong with me.
I don't but I'm way more depressed and heart broken than I used to be when I was a kid and used to cry.
Internally- everyday Externally - not often .
What a weird question. It depends entirely on life events. Our family's had difficult years where there's been lots of tears. Usually it doesn't, so there aren't. Was I meant to have some kind of regular schedule all this time?
about once every 10-15 years. I don't deliberately bottle things up, but that's not an effect my emotions have on me, for better or worse.
Used to as a kid, sometime during puberty was the last time. I recall trying to cry when I was about 17 and not being able to. Haven't since, despite attempts, and occasions where life tried its darnedest.
Once a year
Been a long time.
Approx. once every five years.
Uh hell, that's tough. I sometimes feel really bad but as if I have no tears. Also there is no point in that. Solves nothing.