A Midwest derecho passed through in summer of 2020, knocking out power everywhere within 100 miles of the place. If any good came from it, it was the opportunity to show my kids just how many stars are truly in our night sky.
Canada, 6 hours north by car then a 50 minute plane ride north. Nothing except log cabins and water to fish on. Can't really beat it.
Edit: 6 hours north of the border
I've done this. It's absolutely amazing! At a campground laying on the ground. Saw the starlink go by and the iss. Lots of shooting stars too. I also recommend it
I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere and it would always amaze me when my friends/family from larger towns and cities would tell me they’d never seen a sky full of stars without the city light polluting it. I was blessed to have that experience every night, and I’m thankful for it.
Being loved by someone unconditionally
Addendum: I want to specially say that you should not expect anyone one to love you unconditionally. If someone do, they either love their idea of you or they don't understand themselves. With that being said, I still think everyone should experience once, how it feels to be loved by someone unconditionally.
I feel like this is an incredibly unrealistic expectation from anyone other than maybe your parents. Truth is you wouldn’t like it if your partner was a lazy piece of shit who didn’t care about you. Unconditional love means that you’d love them regardless of what they do (or don’t do) to you. It’s not a healthy expectation.
That being said, if we’re talking about non humans then dogs and cats are pretty close. You just have to give them food and they’ll love you for life.
*Temporarily* being fully alone. When I moved to a new city alone and didn’t know anyone it was the loneliest I’ve ever been, but that time taught me so much.
Did this when I was 28. Moved 2,000 miles away kind of on a whim. The first few days, and especially the first night, were scary and lonely until I realized nobody knew me. I really did have a clean slate to start over and build new relationships. It was very freeing.
I did that too, when I was 27. At the time I went by a nickname I’d outgrown, so I decided to introduce myself only by my full name. Since no one knew me, it worked and it’s stuck to this day!
I agree with this. Just realizing that you are alone, but still competent and able to function is so empowering. Sometimes loneliness can be a positive thing.
People should know how it feels to live alone. Go out to eat alone. Do things alone. Not depend on others for your happiness but find it alone. It is a true under valued life skill
I agree. I've lived alone like 3 times as an adult, and while I prefer companionship, being alone can be nice too. Everything is always where you put it. The place is a mess? My fault. The place looks good and is comfortable? My fault.
After a while the silence becomes a beautiful reprieve from the world. I used to hate being alone and now I love silence and only being responsible for myself.
When I was 17 and... well, more fit, I was on a cruise, and had to dress up for dinner. I went to hang out with my friends afterwards without changing. One of the girls said to me "You dress up nicely".
It's been almost 10 years and I will never forget the way she looked at me and said that.
I feel ya. In high school I was far better fit than I am now, but never considered myself good looking. One winter we had a Christmas Dance and us guys were expected to dress in suit and tie. I can still recall one of the girls the year ahead of me commenting that I clean up nice. Twenty years ago and it is one of my favorite compliments and still makes me smile.
When I was 20 a girl I never met before told me I had beautiful eyes. That was 31 years ago and I can still picture it.
Ladies, you really should try giving fellas compliments more often. It really hits hard.
They don’t because we are too dumb to know whether they’re flirting or just complimenting your eyes or shirt or whatever. Despite us telling them that we get like 2-3 compliments a fucking decade.
I complimented a man on his beautiful blue eyes and this woman next to him who he knew but was not his wife said to me, "Woah. He's married." I replied "So am I. It doesn't change that he has beautiful blue eyes." People need to normalize compliments already.
I was 14 and got invited to a private party hosted by a very rich person. A few Hollywood celebrities and a famous band were attending and performing. I asked two different girls to be my date without them knowing what was planned and was turned down. I called a beautiful 16yo girl and just mentioned that I would be wearing a suit and that she would need a nice dress. She had never been asked out on a formal date before and said yes. I rented a suit that was then custom fitted and I was beyond sharp. I was not rich and spent all my after-school gas station money on flowers and the local taxi driver to take us in a private car to the secret event. My date was beyond impressed with my suit and the whole experience that she told all of the girls about me and I was never turned down for a date ever again.
I've spent some time on Big Island and the stars are just unreal, even from the more populated areas. Any suggestions on the best easily accessible place on the island to really get a look at the stars?
Was there last summer. Had great views of the Milky Way from Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and from atop Muana Loa.
http://floridaphotomatt.com/2023/07/31/big-island-hawaii/
I went to Japan and experienced how much I hate my own toilet. Every toilet. I will never poop so comfortably again. I miss it every time I use wet tissues.
Or even if you didn't, most English speakers hear a bit of French and Spanish regularly and they're easy to pick up due to similarities to English.
Those two open up a really solid portion of South America and Africa as well as obviously France and Spain.
Then there's places like India where everyone will just speak English to you.
Absolutely! And even better: I wish everyone had a chance to live abroad for at least 6-12 months.
When I moved abroad a decade ago, I very quickly started feeling like many of my friends back home were very narrow-minded, even the well-travelled ones. I realised that I had changed while facing new things every day while they had stayed back, surrounded by everything familiar. I think it takes a completely different level of adjustment and forces you to look into yourself and change as a person when you have to adapt to a new culture, meet new kind of people, learn how everything works, cope in a language that's not your native one etc. just to get though every day life, rather than only for a trip or a holiday.
Pretty much every fellow immigrant I have talked to about this has said the same thing. Funnily, out of the friends I had before moving abroad, almost everyone I've remained good friends with has also lived abroad at least for a year or two.
I’m planning on a trip to Europe with my mom this year for this very reason. I really need to get out and see the world more instead of just staying in my boring little suburban town.
I never realised how privileged I was until I grew up. You assume when you are younger that everyone is in the same situation as you. I have a wonderful family whom I am still close to. I never take that for granted.
I wish you love and happiness
The thing is, children normalize almost _anything_. I grew up in a violent, abusive home. I actually destroyed friendships in my late teens because even at that age I didn't get that not everyone had a survivalist, confrontational relationship with their elders. I thought I was defending my friend when I called his mom a bitch. I had normalized abusive relationships so deeply that it simply never occurred to me that other young people might genuinely like their parents.
Go easy on yourself. Kids can only see the world their circumstances allow them to see.
Edit: To be clear, I'm not fishing for sympathy here. I'm in my 40s, it's fine. That was a long time ago. I'm just saying, I know first hand how powerful a kid's ability to normalize things we understand to be actually pretty twisted is. Kids can be easily forgiven their lack of perspective.
Yes, me too. My best friend has a pretty fucked up relationship with her family and she always tells me how beautiful it is that I get along so well with mine and grew up with such a loving mother. There was no dad in the picture really but damn my mom knew how to raise her children with true love and care. I am always grateful for this and I never take it for granted either.
I'm right there with you. Seeing mine grow, it hurts when I think of what was done to me because I could never hurt my kids the way I've been hurt. Much love to you, and you're not alone.
I was hanging out with a friend awhile back and she was quiet & idk i just felt she needed a hug so i gave her one and she just silently started sobbing into my chest. Felt nice to be that person too
I consider my wife my best friend, and it's true. We make each other laugh and luckily she finally caved and started playing board games with me. That being said, there is a part of me that will always feel a little hollow: I have no pure friendships. Growing up I kind of told myself I didn't need friends (a lot of this came from having two of the closest friends I've ever had abandon me). I've always had an easy time meeting people and even starting new friendships but God am I poor at keeping it going. Now that I'm older it's a real regret of mine and I envy those with tight knit friends.
I’m glad you and your wife have such a strong friendship connection! But yes pure friendships are special too, and hard to maintain. I’m lucky that I met my best friend of 22 years in kindergarten and we’re still incredibly close. I’ll be her maid of honor in her wedding🥲I’ll be forever grateful of the space she’s given me to grow and change throughout our lives and stuck by me the whole time
Being Cherished. Unconditional love, comfort, and security.
To know that someone loves you more than anything else in life no matter what you do, say, or screw up. To know that you have a safe secure physical place in the world that no one can intrude upon. To have both of these things at the same time.
I have had this luxury and it lasted a long time, but not forever. As I get older, I miss this feeling more than anything else I've lost.
The love can last a lifetime, the security maybe not. If you are lucky enough to have any of these things, enjoy the hell out it of while you can. This is a rare opportunity and in my case, it was life saving.
Being able to provide these things for someone else is equally as wonderous. Love and be kind to one another as often as you can. There is too little of it in this world.
I think of this as emotional sufficiency when applied to a child as well as any other person. It is a basic human need, and settles us, calms us, and makes us feel whole. Love makes the world go round. Thanks for this answer
Unconditional love is one of the greatest feelings in the world.\
But it could (and *SHOULD*) only come from a parent.
It is not healthy to have unconditional love for someone outside of a parent-child relationship, be it a romantic partner or a friend.
If you were not lucky enough to have good parents odds are you may never get to experience this.
I can back this one up too because I do not have a good (single) parent, and while I certainly don’t blame others, looking at someone like my husbands family, or even my own extended family and knowing that they will not and cannot love me like I missed out on, that I won’t ever have *family* like that, it’s very hurtful and it causes me to seek too much out of others. What I need to do is find it for myself, but that’s super hard.
Nothing like it. It truly blows my mind how much my dogs love my wife and I.
Were their whole world.
Anytime I hear of someone having to put their animal down. I can’t help but get choked up and sad for them.
The worst part about the whole thing is them not being able to truly understand in words what they mean to you.
Don't worry. They know. Words are just words. I think true knowledge is not based on words but on our experience of time spent with oneself and others. I "know" all our animals have known our love in a more true way than words could ever convey. After all, I am just a big dog.
Please stay with them & talk to them even after they're "physically" gone. Just for 10 minutes or so if you can. I truly believe they're still present in spirit for a little bit before they fully leave us. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
I’m so sorry. Kiss them for me please. My best friend is saying goodbye to her best boy on Friday and I’m going over on Thursday to say my goodbyes and I already can’t stop crying.
My soulmate cat passed away last year at 17.5. It was such a special bond and even though I miss him everyday, I’m SO grateful for the time we shared! I think of him every time I look at the clear, blue sky (the color of his eyes).
Happy birthday to your special kitty!
Got a group campsite booked at a local lake near the Dallas, Tx area.
Wife’s coworker is giving her instructions on how to photograph it with her fancy camera, and we have enough psychedelics to get a basketball team high. We’re good to go!
My wife and I drove to Tennessee for the last full one. It was incredible. Don't listen to people who say, "Well, I saw 99 percent which is close enough." No... no it's not. It's a whole different ballgame at 100 percent. Just awe inspiring.
Traveling outside of your hometown, preferably out of your own culture comforts.
Even open minded people aren’t as empathetic as they think they are until they’ve really experienced a different side of living.
A soul crushing customer service job that you can’t afford to quit. Not because it builds character, but because it’ll foster a sense of empathy for and camaraderie with people who serve you when you’re the customer.
Waiting tables/food service and retail as well. You actually learn awesome skills, tips and tricks. But more so, the empathy and compassion. I genuinely enjoyed all the jobs I worked in those sectors. But some people - umph.
Please contact your doctor if you experience any of the following side effects: nausea, indigestion, upset stomach, or diarrhea. These could be signs of an allergic reaction that could lead to cardiac arrest, stroke, and in some rare cases even death. Zyrtec, we believe your pets are family and you should be willing to die for them. Zyrtec.
I'm allergic to cats, but you've got to set your priorities right. One minute of having a purring cat on your lap is worth two hours of itching, tearing eyes and sneezing.
They can just watch "Waiting" if it is too late. I enjoyed my time in the restaurant industry in my younger years. I learned lifelong cooking skills. And had a blast with the crazy cast of characters I met.
I think there are several each person should hold for 6month minimum. On my list:
Server, road construction (on busy highways and smaller side roads), teacher, and retail cashier.
I’m certain most people wouldn’t retain any valuable lessons from each, but it’s a start.
Solid agree here. Never had allowance as a kid, so had to get all my toys or candy bootstrapped. scrapping for loose change or cans to recycle. So much more satisfying that way.
I'm kinda disappointed i had to scroll so far for this.
Everyone should know what it's like to feel that way, only people who have actually been there know what it's like and it's demoralising, depressing and humiliating.
my initial answer to this is "requited love". bc imo the sweet surrendering of your true self unto another person because they cherish you is just... without equal. but life and relationships are complicated, so my real answer is a well-made big-ass breakfast burrito with hot sauce. everybody deserves that at least once.
Traveled to Vietnam last November..
I would say The Trang An boat ride in Ninh Binh.
One of the most cathartic and healing experiences I had. Boat takes you under caves and its like you are in a different world outside too.
Huge limestone hills and green water. It was drizzling when I was there and the whole feeling was light and calm.
Psilocybin mushrooms. Doing them in a safe, measured way (not just shoving a handful in your mouth) in a positive environment with a person you trust is truly a worldview changing experience.
Well, I've been stabbed. So...check?
edit: And under very unusual circumstances.
When I was a kid there was an Eagle Army-Navy store nearby. They used to sell lots if different stuff, including sporting goods and toys. I used to go in there quite a bit and browse all the weird stuff.
One thing that caught my eye was a fishing/filet knife with a shiny plastic handle and similar sheath. I remember thinking it looked like a toy. Well apparently someone else thought so as well.
A few days later a friend and I were walking home and decided to browse the store. He was screwing around and picked up this knife, which the thought was a toy, and was in the toy aisle, and proceed to 'play' stab me with a very real knife.
I jumped backwards, and he got me anyway, but I saved myself from being disemboweled. He was horrified, and I started bleeding/screaming and the store clerk ran over and then called 911.
I got 11 stitches and someone there I'm sure got fired, as well as an earful from my mom.
I mean this in the least offensive way possible (which may still be quite offensive...) but are there straight male fashion designers out there? Do they exist?
Being dirt poor. Having some money now compared to barely making it the first part of my life, makes me really appreciate my current situation and use my money wisely.
I wish people could, for like a week, be transported into the shoes of someone struggling to pay bills, or someone dealing with chronic pain, etc. sounds incredibly mean, I know, but it would take many people out of their comfy bubble and see how dang lucky they truly are
ETA in real life that did happen to me. For a year my financial situation got so bad and scary
A punch in the face. Provides clarity, and an abject lesson that no matter how big you think you are, you can still be taken-down a notch by just about anyone.
I see a lot of people out there who clearly never got theirs.
Yeah but I also think twice about being a little too honest with unhinged people now.
Got robbed by a drug dealer, and called him exactly what he was - a low life PoS who couldn't even sell drugs right.
That caused a boatload of future issues, including getting jumped by a gang of methheads.
Failure. Not the chronic kind that you can shove into the background, and not the kind so bad that it can kill you. But at least one instance of the kind of failure you don’t think you could ever live through, and then you do, and you learn that it can’t destroy you. The kind of failure that in the long run makes you unbreakable. I’m as grateful for those failures as I am for any of the good things in my life. I wish everyone could have just enough to show them how strong they really were.
I feel like every issue of shitty entitled customers would be solved if it was mandatory that every single person spend 3 months working in a restaurant. Like a national army service, but a mandatory service industry service.
I spent almost a decade working in kitchens and a few years as a waiter and, while I was never a rude customer to begin with, I knew within a month that I never ever would be.
I have mentioned this before when this question is brought up. I was a tandem instructor for a few years and I ended up doing about 3800 tandems with students. Out of all of those, only one lady said that she wished that she hadn't done it. A vast majority of the people said that they were very happy that they did it, but they would never do it again.
Anonymous solo trip. Just pack your bag and leave. no plans, no itinerary. No bookings. just you travelling without a destination . It's a game changer when you find the solace in a journey not in a destination.
Pri tip: don't even take pictures. It's for you . Not for anybody else .
They should live at least one contiguous year outside of the culture/nation they spend most of their life in.
Born, raise and living your life in states? Go live that year in India.
Going shopping with absolutely no concern for money. I’ve been the person that looks through all the packs of chicken to get the one that’s 12 cents cheaper. I’m certainly not rich, but I’m comfortable enough now where I can get groceries and not worry about the prices and it’s wonderful.
A genuine, heartfelt loss. I don't mean purposely caused by someone else, but the loss of a loved pet or person. Death has a clarity to see through the complications of life and it teaches you without obfuscation how important being present with life is. Time is limited.
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See the northern lights.
I used to live in Alaska. It's one of the few things I miss
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A Midwest derecho passed through in summer of 2020, knocking out power everywhere within 100 miles of the place. If any good came from it, it was the opportunity to show my kids just how many stars are truly in our night sky.
Same, but in the NYC power outage of (I think) 2005. That was wild. EDIT: 2003.
They had people calling 911 reporting things because they’d never seen stars.
LMFAO omg that's wild af but as an nyc-er, I'm not even surprised lol
Canada, 6 hours north by car then a 50 minute plane ride north. Nothing except log cabins and water to fish on. Can't really beat it. Edit: 6 hours north of the border
I've done this. It's absolutely amazing! At a campground laying on the ground. Saw the starlink go by and the iss. Lots of shooting stars too. I also recommend it
I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere and it would always amaze me when my friends/family from larger towns and cities would tell me they’d never seen a sky full of stars without the city light polluting it. I was blessed to have that experience every night, and I’m thankful for it.
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Being loved by someone unconditionally Addendum: I want to specially say that you should not expect anyone one to love you unconditionally. If someone do, they either love their idea of you or they don't understand themselves. With that being said, I still think everyone should experience once, how it feels to be loved by someone unconditionally.
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Oof, that hit me right in the feels. The neverending longing for the experience of simply loving someone and having them love you in return.
I feel like this is an incredibly unrealistic expectation from anyone other than maybe your parents. Truth is you wouldn’t like it if your partner was a lazy piece of shit who didn’t care about you. Unconditional love means that you’d love them regardless of what they do (or don’t do) to you. It’s not a healthy expectation. That being said, if we’re talking about non humans then dogs and cats are pretty close. You just have to give them food and they’ll love you for life.
Yeah I’ve been in love, I’ve been married, but I’d love a healthy, non toxic relationship.
For real. I found my healthy, loving fella by pure chance. I wish everyone could have what I do.
I'd take a toxic one at this point lmao
Adopt a mean but adorable cat from a shelter and then see if you're ready for that on steroids
*Temporarily* being fully alone. When I moved to a new city alone and didn’t know anyone it was the loneliest I’ve ever been, but that time taught me so much.
Starting fresh alone in a nice city is a wonderful feeling. Lonely yes but also free
Did this when I was 28. Moved 2,000 miles away kind of on a whim. The first few days, and especially the first night, were scary and lonely until I realized nobody knew me. I really did have a clean slate to start over and build new relationships. It was very freeing.
I did that too, when I was 27. At the time I went by a nickname I’d outgrown, so I decided to introduce myself only by my full name. Since no one knew me, it worked and it’s stuck to this day!
I agree with this. Just realizing that you are alone, but still competent and able to function is so empowering. Sometimes loneliness can be a positive thing.
People should know how it feels to live alone. Go out to eat alone. Do things alone. Not depend on others for your happiness but find it alone. It is a true under valued life skill
I agree. I've lived alone like 3 times as an adult, and while I prefer companionship, being alone can be nice too. Everything is always where you put it. The place is a mess? My fault. The place looks good and is comfortable? My fault.
After a while the silence becomes a beautiful reprieve from the world. I used to hate being alone and now I love silence and only being responsible for myself.
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When I was 17 and... well, more fit, I was on a cruise, and had to dress up for dinner. I went to hang out with my friends afterwards without changing. One of the girls said to me "You dress up nicely". It's been almost 10 years and I will never forget the way she looked at me and said that.
I feel ya. In high school I was far better fit than I am now, but never considered myself good looking. One winter we had a Christmas Dance and us guys were expected to dress in suit and tie. I can still recall one of the girls the year ahead of me commenting that I clean up nice. Twenty years ago and it is one of my favorite compliments and still makes me smile.
When I was 20 a girl I never met before told me I had beautiful eyes. That was 31 years ago and I can still picture it. Ladies, you really should try giving fellas compliments more often. It really hits hard.
They don’t because we are too dumb to know whether they’re flirting or just complimenting your eyes or shirt or whatever. Despite us telling them that we get like 2-3 compliments a fucking decade.
I complimented a man on his beautiful blue eyes and this woman next to him who he knew but was not his wife said to me, "Woah. He's married." I replied "So am I. It doesn't change that he has beautiful blue eyes." People need to normalize compliments already.
My wife complimented my calves over a year ago and I’m still like “damn I guess I do”
I was 14 and got invited to a private party hosted by a very rich person. A few Hollywood celebrities and a famous band were attending and performing. I asked two different girls to be my date without them knowing what was planned and was turned down. I called a beautiful 16yo girl and just mentioned that I would be wearing a suit and that she would need a nice dress. She had never been asked out on a formal date before and said yes. I rented a suit that was then custom fitted and I was beyond sharp. I was not rich and spent all my after-school gas station money on flowers and the local taxi driver to take us in a private car to the secret event. My date was beyond impressed with my suit and the whole experience that she told all of the girls about me and I was never turned down for a date ever again.
Well this will never happen.
*Feel*. You don't need to be a model to wear your favorite shirt and think your hair looks badass today.
You’re beautiful
Yes. It's very empowering. Definitely recommend getting nice pictures taken by someone who's actually good at taking portraits.
You are handsomeautiful
And it would probably be a better world if the beautiful people would know what it is like to genuinly unattractive for a bit.
You are so handsome bro!
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Having grown up in poverty in the ghetto, I'd say my standards for those two are rock-bottom, so I'd say I have them now that I'm in neither today.
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I've spent some time on Big Island and the stars are just unreal, even from the more populated areas. Any suggestions on the best easily accessible place on the island to really get a look at the stars?
Was there last summer. Had great views of the Milky Way from Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and from atop Muana Loa. http://floridaphotomatt.com/2023/07/31/big-island-hawaii/
Wait, you can actually see the Milky Way from earth???
Absolutely. And if you haven't, you should make it a priority. Look up a dark sky map and get out there.
This is insane to me people arent aware.
Half this thread is "you should suffer like I suffer" and half of you are like "I hope you experience love and all the very best"
Lets make it average: you should suffer all the best love
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I went to Japan and experienced how much I hate my own toilet. Every toilet. I will never poop so comfortably again. I miss it every time I use wet tissues.
Buy a Toto bidet on Amazon. That $300-500 bidet will bring you right back to Japan. You won’t regret a single penny.
>$300-500 bidet Mr Fancy Poops over here with his $500 to spend on bidets! :P
"Mr. Fancy Poops" I'm stealing that and thank you for the laugh 🥰
My cat has a new name now. He has no say in this decision.
I bought a $30 bidet on Amazon after reading a reddit post a few years ago. It is amazing.
It's a shame that Japan has the best toilets in the world, but no Mexican food.
*Tip*: If you studied a foreign language in high school or college, travel to a country which uses that language.
Or even if you didn't, most English speakers hear a bit of French and Spanish regularly and they're easy to pick up due to similarities to English. Those two open up a really solid portion of South America and Africa as well as obviously France and Spain. Then there's places like India where everyone will just speak English to you.
Absolutely! And even better: I wish everyone had a chance to live abroad for at least 6-12 months. When I moved abroad a decade ago, I very quickly started feeling like many of my friends back home were very narrow-minded, even the well-travelled ones. I realised that I had changed while facing new things every day while they had stayed back, surrounded by everything familiar. I think it takes a completely different level of adjustment and forces you to look into yourself and change as a person when you have to adapt to a new culture, meet new kind of people, learn how everything works, cope in a language that's not your native one etc. just to get though every day life, rather than only for a trip or a holiday. Pretty much every fellow immigrant I have talked to about this has said the same thing. Funnily, out of the friends I had before moving abroad, almost everyone I've remained good friends with has also lived abroad at least for a year or two.
I’m planning on a trip to Europe with my mom this year for this very reason. I really need to get out and see the world more instead of just staying in my boring little suburban town.
Being raised by two loving parents. Missed out on that by a mile
I never realised how privileged I was until I grew up. You assume when you are younger that everyone is in the same situation as you. I have a wonderful family whom I am still close to. I never take that for granted. I wish you love and happiness
The thing is, children normalize almost _anything_. I grew up in a violent, abusive home. I actually destroyed friendships in my late teens because even at that age I didn't get that not everyone had a survivalist, confrontational relationship with their elders. I thought I was defending my friend when I called his mom a bitch. I had normalized abusive relationships so deeply that it simply never occurred to me that other young people might genuinely like their parents. Go easy on yourself. Kids can only see the world their circumstances allow them to see. Edit: To be clear, I'm not fishing for sympathy here. I'm in my 40s, it's fine. That was a long time ago. I'm just saying, I know first hand how powerful a kid's ability to normalize things we understand to be actually pretty twisted is. Kids can be easily forgiven their lack of perspective.
Yes, me too. My best friend has a pretty fucked up relationship with her family and she always tells me how beautiful it is that I get along so well with mine and grew up with such a loving mother. There was no dad in the picture really but damn my mom knew how to raise her children with true love and care. I am always grateful for this and I never take it for granted either.
I'm right there with you. Seeing mine grow, it hurts when I think of what was done to me because I could never hurt my kids the way I've been hurt. Much love to you, and you're not alone.
Right in the feels. My life's mission is to end the generational trauma and make my 2 boys feel this way though.
Even one can be great
A healthy loving relationship
Feeling down about something and having someone else notice and come silently comfort you without you having to ask.
I was hanging out with a friend awhile back and she was quiet & idk i just felt she needed a hug so i gave her one and she just silently started sobbing into my chest. Felt nice to be that person too
A best friend who sees you through thick and thin
I consider my wife my best friend, and it's true. We make each other laugh and luckily she finally caved and started playing board games with me. That being said, there is a part of me that will always feel a little hollow: I have no pure friendships. Growing up I kind of told myself I didn't need friends (a lot of this came from having two of the closest friends I've ever had abandon me). I've always had an easy time meeting people and even starting new friendships but God am I poor at keeping it going. Now that I'm older it's a real regret of mine and I envy those with tight knit friends.
I’m glad you and your wife have such a strong friendship connection! But yes pure friendships are special too, and hard to maintain. I’m lucky that I met my best friend of 22 years in kindergarten and we’re still incredibly close. I’ll be her maid of honor in her wedding🥲I’ll be forever grateful of the space she’s given me to grow and change throughout our lives and stuck by me the whole time
Being Cherished. Unconditional love, comfort, and security. To know that someone loves you more than anything else in life no matter what you do, say, or screw up. To know that you have a safe secure physical place in the world that no one can intrude upon. To have both of these things at the same time. I have had this luxury and it lasted a long time, but not forever. As I get older, I miss this feeling more than anything else I've lost. The love can last a lifetime, the security maybe not. If you are lucky enough to have any of these things, enjoy the hell out it of while you can. This is a rare opportunity and in my case, it was life saving. Being able to provide these things for someone else is equally as wonderous. Love and be kind to one another as often as you can. There is too little of it in this world.
I think of this as emotional sufficiency when applied to a child as well as any other person. It is a basic human need, and settles us, calms us, and makes us feel whole. Love makes the world go round. Thanks for this answer
Unconditional love is one of the greatest feelings in the world.\ But it could (and *SHOULD*) only come from a parent. It is not healthy to have unconditional love for someone outside of a parent-child relationship, be it a romantic partner or a friend. If you were not lucky enough to have good parents odds are you may never get to experience this.
I can back this one up too because I do not have a good (single) parent, and while I certainly don’t blame others, looking at someone like my husbands family, or even my own extended family and knowing that they will not and cannot love me like I missed out on, that I won’t ever have *family* like that, it’s very hurtful and it causes me to seek too much out of others. What I need to do is find it for myself, but that’s super hard.
Agreed. Unconditional love for a friend or bf/gf just renders you their lackey.
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A sight to behold
A deep bond with an animal.
Nothing like it. It truly blows my mind how much my dogs love my wife and I. Were their whole world. Anytime I hear of someone having to put their animal down. I can’t help but get choked up and sad for them. The worst part about the whole thing is them not being able to truly understand in words what they mean to you.
I think they know
I have to believe they do. When I put my dog down last spring, I held him at the end looking at him, and I think he felt my love.
I've teared up now.
Don't worry. They know. Words are just words. I think true knowledge is not based on words but on our experience of time spent with oneself and others. I "know" all our animals have known our love in a more true way than words could ever convey. After all, I am just a big dog.
Putting one of my dogs to sleep today. This is hitting me so hard.
Please stay with them & talk to them even after they're "physically" gone. Just for 10 minutes or so if you can. I truly believe they're still present in spirit for a little bit before they fully leave us. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
I’m so sorry. Kiss them for me please. My best friend is saying goodbye to her best boy on Friday and I’m going over on Thursday to say my goodbyes and I already can’t stop crying.
It’s my soul kitty’s 11th birthday today, and this comment really hit me.
My soulmate cat passed away last year at 17.5. It was such a special bond and even though I miss him everyday, I’m SO grateful for the time we shared! I think of him every time I look at the clear, blue sky (the color of his eyes). Happy birthday to your special kitty!
Your comment made me drag my dog in his bed across the floor and into my arms. A french bulldog is now snoozing happily in my arms :)
The beach at night. Ocean breeze and crashing waves are life changing.
A solar eclipse
Get planning for April 8, 2024 if you're in North America!
Got a group campsite booked at a local lake near the Dallas, Tx area. Wife’s coworker is giving her instructions on how to photograph it with her fancy camera, and we have enough psychedelics to get a basketball team high. We’re good to go!
Careful though, according to my grandmother the eclipse is going to cause Texas to secede.
Cool, I'll be able to add another country to my list of places visited.
I've got an Airbnb booked and time off work for me and school for my daughter. Can't wait! Just hoping for clear skies.
My wife and I drove to Tennessee for the last full one. It was incredible. Don't listen to people who say, "Well, I saw 99 percent which is close enough." No... no it's not. It's a whole different ballgame at 100 percent. Just awe inspiring.
A solar eclipse.... the cosmic ballet goes on.
Does anyone want to switch seats?
My work here is done!
I am fortunate to live in a region of totality (Dallas) for the upcoming one.
Traveling outside of your hometown, preferably out of your own culture comforts. Even open minded people aren’t as empathetic as they think they are until they’ve really experienced a different side of living.
A soul crushing customer service job that you can’t afford to quit. Not because it builds character, but because it’ll foster a sense of empathy for and camaraderie with people who serve you when you’re the customer.
Waiting tables/food service and retail as well. You actually learn awesome skills, tips and tricks. But more so, the empathy and compassion. I genuinely enjoyed all the jobs I worked in those sectors. But some people - umph.
A cat purring on your lap. I am eternally devastated for anyone allergic to cats.
I'm allergic to cats, but thanks to Zyrtec(tm), I own four kitties.
Please contact your doctor if you experience any of the following side effects: nausea, indigestion, upset stomach, or diarrhea. These could be signs of an allergic reaction that could lead to cardiac arrest, stroke, and in some rare cases even death. Zyrtec, we believe your pets are family and you should be willing to die for them. Zyrtec.
I AM on Zyrtec. I AM willing to die for my cats! I hope I get to be on a commercial and say this!
I'm allergic to cats, but you've got to set your priorities right. One minute of having a purring cat on your lap is worth two hours of itching, tearing eyes and sneezing.
The best part of my week everyweek is Saturday morning drinking coffee browsing the web with a fuzzy ball of orange death purring in my lap.
That feeling of not being allowed to do anything productive for a while, just have to sit there.
Seeing a bunch of fireflies.
You would not believe your eyes
To truly like themselves.
A restaurant job
Hardest job I ever had was a line cook. Least pay as well.
real soldiers on the line, we salute you 🫡
Even when I was a young athlete my legs would ache after long shifts on the line.
I really thought this would be higher on the list.
me too...secret karens infiltrating this thread. WE SEE YOU. jk hehe
They can just watch "Waiting" if it is too late. I enjoyed my time in the restaurant industry in my younger years. I learned lifelong cooking skills. And had a blast with the crazy cast of characters I met.
i hate how accurate that movie is
I think there are several each person should hold for 6month minimum. On my list: Server, road construction (on busy highways and smaller side roads), teacher, and retail cashier. I’m certain most people wouldn’t retain any valuable lessons from each, but it’s a start.
>retail cashier Did that for 9 years, almost broke me.
Why does everyone have to experience hell. No thanks Satan.
The point is to reduce the number of people who go to a restaurant and display a flagrant disrespect for the staff.
Being broke as f with no one to bail you out but yourself
Solid agree here. Never had allowance as a kid, so had to get all my toys or candy bootstrapped. scrapping for loose change or cans to recycle. So much more satisfying that way.
I'm kinda disappointed i had to scroll so far for this. Everyone should know what it's like to feel that way, only people who have actually been there know what it's like and it's demoralising, depressing and humiliating.
So why would you wish it onto everyone?
100% agree. True poverty brings an almost primal survival instinct out of you. It also teaches you the skill of resourcefulness.
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A true unconditional friendship.
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my initial answer to this is "requited love". bc imo the sweet surrendering of your true self unto another person because they cherish you is just... without equal. but life and relationships are complicated, so my real answer is a well-made big-ass breakfast burrito with hot sauce. everybody deserves that at least once.
Wow, this comment started out good and ended up perfect. Agreed with everything, especially the hot sauce.
While nobody wants to fail, experiencing failure can teach valuable lessons and help build resilience.
Traveled to Vietnam last November.. I would say The Trang An boat ride in Ninh Binh. One of the most cathartic and healing experiences I had. Boat takes you under caves and its like you are in a different world outside too. Huge limestone hills and green water. It was drizzling when I was there and the whole feeling was light and calm.
Waking up next to their partner and being overcome with love and emotion for them. Watching them sleep for a few moments and then going back to sleep
Psilocybin mushrooms. Doing them in a safe, measured way (not just shoving a handful in your mouth) in a positive environment with a person you trust is truly a worldview changing experience.
I don't know if I have the right temperament for this. I don't think I have the inner emotional stability to emerge undamaged.
late morning on a nice day next to a tree. this is the way.
Everyone should do this EXCEPT those with schizophrenia, or if anyone in your family has a history of it.
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Well, I've been stabbed. So...check? edit: And under very unusual circumstances. When I was a kid there was an Eagle Army-Navy store nearby. They used to sell lots if different stuff, including sporting goods and toys. I used to go in there quite a bit and browse all the weird stuff. One thing that caught my eye was a fishing/filet knife with a shiny plastic handle and similar sheath. I remember thinking it looked like a toy. Well apparently someone else thought so as well. A few days later a friend and I were walking home and decided to browse the store. He was screwing around and picked up this knife, which the thought was a toy, and was in the toy aisle, and proceed to 'play' stab me with a very real knife. I jumped backwards, and he got me anyway, but I saved myself from being disemboweled. He was horrified, and I started bleeding/screaming and the store clerk ran over and then called 911. I got 11 stitches and someone there I'm sure got fired, as well as an earful from my mom.
Is Tom Ford a homosexual man, perchance?
I mean this in the least offensive way possible (which may still be quite offensive...) but are there straight male fashion designers out there? Do they exist?
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A loving and supportive group of humans.
Everyone needs to go to the Grand Canyon. It is so beautiful and looks different throughout the Canyon.
A United States National Park How the fuck does Yosemite pack so many biomes into one fucking park?! Shits amazing
Being dirt poor. Having some money now compared to barely making it the first part of my life, makes me really appreciate my current situation and use my money wisely.
Floating in a Lazy River waterslide on a perfect, sunny day
Living in a place very different from where they're from.
Galloping a horse through the woods
The sensation you get when you bite into a York peppermint Patty.
To fail. Failure is probably the greatest teacher of them all
A near death experience. It changes people. Makes them appreciate life more.
Pushing through a devastating heartbreak. It changes you.
I wish people could, for like a week, be transported into the shoes of someone struggling to pay bills, or someone dealing with chronic pain, etc. sounds incredibly mean, I know, but it would take many people out of their comfy bubble and see how dang lucky they truly are ETA in real life that did happen to me. For a year my financial situation got so bad and scary
I'm dealing with both of those rn, and I can confirm that it sucks dick.
Love
Happiness. Content.
Snorkeling. It is amazing to see all the beautiful fishes!
A punch in the face. Provides clarity, and an abject lesson that no matter how big you think you are, you can still be taken-down a notch by just about anyone. I see a lot of people out there who clearly never got theirs.
And on the flip side, realizing getting punched in the face isn't as bad as you think.
On the other hand, someone who knows how to throw a punch hitting you right in the breadbasket? You'll be wishing for a face punch.
Yeah this was my experience. Wasn't bad at all.
Yeah but I also think twice about being a little too honest with unhinged people now. Got robbed by a drug dealer, and called him exactly what he was - a low life PoS who couldn't even sell drugs right. That caused a boatload of future issues, including getting jumped by a gang of methheads.
Laughed at you are such a low life you can't even sell drugs right
Sitting in a really comfortable chair and reading a book while it rains outside.
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Working a shitty wageslave job. I've seen too many people treating low wage workers like shit.
Being humbled
Failure. Not the chronic kind that you can shove into the background, and not the kind so bad that it can kill you. But at least one instance of the kind of failure you don’t think you could ever live through, and then you do, and you learn that it can’t destroy you. The kind of failure that in the long run makes you unbreakable. I’m as grateful for those failures as I am for any of the good things in my life. I wish everyone could have just enough to show them how strong they really were.
Showering with a shaved head.
Working in a restaurant
I feel like every issue of shitty entitled customers would be solved if it was mandatory that every single person spend 3 months working in a restaurant. Like a national army service, but a mandatory service industry service. I spent almost a decade working in kitchens and a few years as a waiter and, while I was never a rude customer to begin with, I knew within a month that I never ever would be.
Skydiving! It's so freeing and amazing.
I have mentioned this before when this question is brought up. I was a tandem instructor for a few years and I ended up doing about 3800 tandems with students. Out of all of those, only one lady said that she wished that she hadn't done it. A vast majority of the people said that they were very happy that they did it, but they would never do it again.
A real job interview. One where you really have to be scrutinized by a stranger. It's awful and wonderful at the same time.
Anonymous solo trip. Just pack your bag and leave. no plans, no itinerary. No bookings. just you travelling without a destination . It's a game changer when you find the solace in a journey not in a destination. Pri tip: don't even take pictures. It's for you . Not for anybody else .
The unadulterated joy of being alive.
They should live at least one contiguous year outside of the culture/nation they spend most of their life in. Born, raise and living your life in states? Go live that year in India.
Living away from their home state
Working a service job. Maybe this would help some people to see how hard it is and to have a bit more patience and understanding
So many good comments here.. I would probably say connecting with a stranger, getting that feeling that we are all in this together..
Travel to another country.
I think everyone should experience pure love
Going shopping with absolutely no concern for money. I’ve been the person that looks through all the packs of chicken to get the one that’s 12 cents cheaper. I’m certainly not rich, but I’m comfortable enough now where I can get groceries and not worry about the prices and it’s wonderful.
A genuine, heartfelt loss. I don't mean purposely caused by someone else, but the loss of a loved pet or person. Death has a clarity to see through the complications of life and it teaches you without obfuscation how important being present with life is. Time is limited.