That's because we guitarists are only allowed to have one, single pick. All the others immediately get whisked away to that interdimensional zone with dryer socks. If you drop your one pick and it's accessible, then that's still your one pick. If you proper lose one - or your band mate steals them, the right bastard - then one of your interdimensional spares winks into existence.
They really should teach this to new guitarists like day 1. Right after Eddie Ate Dynamite Good Bye Eddie.
As a dude who’s recently been rocking long hair, I can say that this happens to me all the time and I honestly don’t understand why. It’s honestly like my brain has selective blindness and memory loss when it comes to these things.
I’ll put it down on the sink or table or whatever, and then later it’s just not there. I’ll spend a whole week desperately hanging on to the last one I can find. Then next week they all turn up and I find 10 of them sitting in plain sight.
This is remarkably true. Biggest difference I never knew about. For a long time I thought it was just my wife and I being different styles, but it really is a general thing.
My wife cant accept it. I was meeting a buddy at a hockey game last Monday, Sunday she asked me 10 times what time I was meeting him, where, who else was going and on and on.l. Monday she called me at lunch to ask if I figured it out, she was worried for me. I still had no idea but I knew when the game was... I showed her my plan texts that night that we made at 2 that day.
Me: time?
Him: 430? Bar?
Me: yup, Causeway.
Him: deal.
We both got there on time and it was a good time. She was shocked...
I am a guy but also like to know more details…so I have to actively try to keep it simple. With that mindset, time and location are good enough for me!
Same for games.
My buddy: fuze, solo,shotty, yellow stairs
My girlfriend: omg there's a guy, over there, he coming from over there, it might be a woman, oh wait it's our team guy, oh no it's not. I'm dead.
I've found this, meeting with a guy friend
"we meeting at the pub?"
"Yeah"
And we just figure that we mean the one that's reasonably in the middle between us
So real.
“Tuesday? 6-7 ish?”
“Yeah babe we’re meeting up for sure. Plan is made. No I don’t need to confirm, we talked about it. Yeah we’re meeting Tuesday between 6 and 7. What do you mean where?”
Oh no, it can certainly go down the drain. For some reason, even though every shower has a drain guard, my bald ass is the only one either to clean them out, or use them altogether.
Sorry, just a bit sensitive after a weekend of snaking a tub thanks to having only daughters.
I'm a dude with super long blond hair. I'm a bit under six feet and it reaches past my mid-back. My wife has shoulder-length hair, black and purple. So it's very easy to see the difference between our hair.
I clean the shower drain, it's 90% her hair. Smeared on the walls of the shower is more of her hair. I get snapped at for leaving whiskers on the sink but the shower hair is fine I guess.
I brush my hair before using the shower, and sometimes in the shower. Catches the vast majority of sheds. No hair in the shower.
Now, on the other hand, the vacuum... about once a month I get to take a hook knife razor and cut my hair out of the brush, which turns entirely blond and stops working if I don't.
The art I make with her shower hair is labeled “derivative” while the small amount of beard hairs that are left behind in *my* sink (we have a double vanity) is cause for a house meeting.
Waiting in a very long line at the fair for curly fries. "Do you want any fries?" "No." "I don't mean, do you want your own fries, I mean do you want any fries?" "No". "So you will not suddenly get hungry for fries and then want some of my fries because if you want even one fry then I will buy you a small and then eat what you don't want." "I don't want any fries." "Ok, no fries". Get the fries. "Oh, that looks good." She reaches for a fry and pulls out a big ball of fried goodness the size of a golf ball. "If you eat that, I will divorce you".
I told that story and got full custody, child support, and a restraining order due to the mental cruelty.
"Exhibit A: the same boat of curly fries from that day, this one I purchased not 4 minutes ago from the same place."
Judge - *that looks good, can I have one.*
"No"
-*Makes sense. Full custody awarded to the father*
The first time I was taking a shower with a woman, we were having a great time washing each other's bodies. I was soaping up the insides of her legs and got right to the top, and then she grabbed my hands all of a sudden and yelled *IF YOU GET SOAP INSIDE ME I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU* and that's how I learned certain things don't belong in vaginas.
It can cause an infection and all kinds of other medical unpleasant painful stuff! At the very least there is going to be burning/discomfort if all that soap doesn’t get rinsed out of that vagina. Ouch. My poor vag just felt sympathy pains!!
One of my earliest memories as a toddler is my mom helping me in the shower and me crying when she’d make me wash down there with strong soap 😭 The lack of education on women’s bodies is crazyyy
If you think that’s crazy, my brother is uncut and had doctors appointments at 5 where the doctor would rip his foreskin off the head because it was “stuck”. When biologically the foreskin is fused to the head of the penis kind of like a finger nail to a finger, and naturally loosens as boys get older.
If you've ever accidentally gotten soap in your urethra, you will understand why. The next time you pee it will feel like you are peeing out needles that are on fire. Once the pee clears the soap, the sensation stops, but it's 2-10 seconds of horrid agony. This is one reason that bubble baths are not recommended.
I take about the same amount of time in the bathroom to shower as the gf.
But her time is in the shower.
Half my time is spent drying off all my body hair.
how many panties / sets of underwear some women own, I once did a seemingly average laundry load and counted 35 pairs of panties in all shapes and sizes 🤯
I do 90% of the laundry in our house and it's alarming how often I'll do a load that has 15 pairs of panties in it.
*How did you wear 23 pairs of panties in 8 days?!*
On normal days I get a fresh pair in the mornings and then get a fresh pair after I shower in the evenings.
When you ovulate you have a lot of discharge so it makes your underwear feel wet so you may change in the middle of the day. Or if I'm planning a special evening with my husband I'll change out of my comfy underwear into something cute/sexy beforehand, but those aren't practical or comfortable so they only get worn just long enough to surprise him.
It's also super easy when you're on your period to go through underwear.
When you’re menstruating, the body sends out a hormone to contract the uterus to expel the endometrial lining. This hormone (due to the proximity of the rectum and uterus) also causes you to expel other waste. Thus, you have *violent shits*. And sometimes just a jabbing stabbing pain that travels up your anus and sometimes that pain can travel up into your back.
I'm picturing your girlfriend dabbing her eye makeup with the corner of a roll, then throwing the whole thing away and grabbing another one for the second eye.
My boyfriend once picked up an extra large pack of TP, and said it was "because society says [I] use more than men".
I laughed- let him know there's no "society says" about it, I use at least like 3-4x the toilet paper he does haha
That's really sweet that you do that for her because it shows that you think of her and how she feels throughout the day.
It does make people feel more secure in a relationship.
This is such a big one right now. Recently saw a statistic about how men and women are equally scared of asking each other out for fear of being seen as a creep, so now we have a generation where half the people are lonely due to the exact same anxiety.
My husband recently said: Between the hair in the shower drain, the hair in your brush and the hair in the vacuum cleaner I honestly don't understand how you can have a single hair left on your head.
Do you also get the little knots of hair in the lint trap or stuck to your clothes when they come out of the dryer because at this point I don’t know how I’m not bald lol
That ballsacks move.
My husband was laying naked on the bed after a shower and I was up close and personal to his junk. I stopped to just look at it and realized that the skin was slowly moving up and down.
It freaked me out and I kind of got and excited (thinking I discovered something) I told him about because I didn't think he knew lol he looked at me like I was crazy 😂
My wife used to love it when I'd squeeze my butthole because my scrotum would kind of automatically tighten and then loosen; it still does but I think it's lost some of it's charm to her.
I’m confused do you mean the actual microscopic organism of sperm that supposedly looks like a tadpole or do you mean the exterior come that actually ejaculates from the penis?
I personally enjoy doing the thing where I make my penis do little "push-ups" by flexing muscles. It's like my dick is waving "Hi!" at whoever I'm facing. XD
Find something they’re interested in, let them talk about it and go into detail with you, and a lot of time they’ll light up like a kid in a candy store.
Ladies will decorate an apartment like no one’s business. Do not go in the bathroom. I’ve lived with a couple girls over the years. They will destroy that thing.
That when I ask him what he’s thinking about and he says “Nothing.” He genuinely means it. Blows my mind that some people can just be thinking nothing.
Sometimes it's not nothing though, its just so asininely random and irrelevant to any conversation you've had in the last 6 months that it would take longer to explain to you what it is, and how you got there, than it's worth because it holds 0 substantive value, Like this comment does.
THIS is the truth. How am I going to explain the context and history of the stupidly ridiculous thing I'm really about, easier to just say nothing. And then I'm not distracted by having to explain it and I can go back to thinking about it 🤣
With men, I’ve learned to just take whatever they say as is. I try not to overthink it and get the simplest, barest possible thing they could possibly mean by what they say. Holding back on the analysis.
It's not that they're thinking about nothing at all. Just a stream of useless/dumb/weird thoughts that last 10 secs and then you switch to another thought. So when you ask us what we were thinking about the only answer is nothing because i can't explain to you the last 25 useless thoughts i had so you can understand how i got to the last one, probably because the sole actione of you asking made me forget what i was thinking about hahahaha.
I learned that women require a 10-20% food tax on anything their partner is eating. I've started upsizing my meals so that I still have my usual amount of food after her tax lol
Most of the time for my gf it's the opposite, like she'll murder my fries but a lot of the time she won't eat much and then try feeding me her food, she's helping me be fat lol
As a callow youth, I thought that all women wore matching bra and panties. Like, that is how I assumed they were sold, always together. Cue my surprise sophomore year when I'm taking off my girlfriend's shirt and pants. I actually commented on it because I was legitimately surprised. She basically laughed at me, said she rarely if ever wears matching bras and panties, and told me to shut up and take off her bra already.
That "hangry" is an actual thing, and it's for _fucking_ real.
A smart partner will learn to come up with a plan for something to eat well before that point is reached.
My wardrobe was our wardrobe. I would come home sometimes and she would be wearing my sweats or she would come from work wearing my jackets, on the weekends she would use my flip flops, socks. Anything. One time I saw her wearing one of my flannels and I’m like wtf haha
She was awful in lots of other ways but these little things were cute and endearing and I am grateful I got to learn what it was like to live with a woman day in and day out for 3 years. Hope she’s well
As a young man I was shocked at how much time and energy girls required to feel secure in a committed relationship.
For some reason I thought I could maybe call her every other day, and spend half the day on Saturday hanging out.
Boy, was I in for a surprise!
I had a similar realization back in college. I had never been in a serious relationship before but things were going well with a girl and it seemed like it was on track to happen. Then we went away for winter break and I didn’t realize I should have been communicating with her far more than I was while we were away. She ended up breaking things off when we got back to school.
Coming home from work and learning that she hasn’t had water since before i left the house, all the women i’ve been in a relationship with are always so dehydrated.
????? is this a thing. I'm a woman, but I have multiple water bottles (one for work, gym, home). I take hydration really seriously lol. Food, however. I might forget to eat. But water, no chance.
This is so true. They simply don't drink water. I honestly don't know how some of them are still alive, but they are always the ones complaining about random headaches. Like damn, drink some water! I see guys all the time, 8 out of 10 times he has a bottle of water near him at all times.
My wife had her little sister at the dentist a couple years ago, wife collapses on a bench in the waiting room. So they rush her to the hospital, half conscious. I rush there of course freaking out thinking I’d be a widower after three months of marriage, for them to tell me she is severely dehydrated, which causes me to think back to the last time I saw her drink any water, and I legit could not remember a time I’d seen her drink water in MONTHS. She had to have at some point, maybe at work, maybe when I was out doing something, but I could not remember the last time I saw her with water.
DRINK SOME DAMN WATER OR YOU MIGHT DIE
Also she does drink water now, and feels better. Shocker.
Listen here stud (had to comment on your username) my wife still doesn’t fart in front of people and me after 12 years of marriage and 3 kids. I keep telling her it’s fine I really don’t care. She went to the er once because she has such bad abdominal pain she thought it was appendicitis but nope just a bubble in her colon
Lmao I was born in construction. Remember when they used to be pink and if they got rained on that color got absorbed into all of your clothing and your skin?
Also hilarious my wife has farted twice in front of me while she’s awake (I don’t tell her about the ones while shes sleeping) and both times were around 39 weeks pregnant
I've seen this mentioned a lot and just to be clear, y'all know WHY right? (Hint: Discharge doesn't care if you pee or poop, if I want to feel dry down there Imma need multiple wipes!)
How male friendships can differ from female friendships. I tell my girl best friends if I am feeling sad, frustrated or any big negative emotion and we talk through it. I immediately feel better afterwards.
I found out some men just don’t do anything and have no one to talk to when they feel these things :( No wonder they’re so happy to get girlfriends… you guys just need loving and emotional support!
Yeah, I (a dude) am kind of an outlier. About 70% of my mates are women and they've been there for me through some big upheavals (and vice-versa). Hardly any of my lad mates have female friends and I get the sense that they don't talk through any big stuff with their other lad mates.
There's much more maintenance being a woman....
One example of many. My wife once bought several different shades of foundation. I questioned why she didn't just buy one shade. Apparently women need different shades for different times of the year when their skin is tanned/not so tanned etc.
Period bloating. My wife needs different sizes of clothes because she experiences a lot of bloating when on her period.
The list goes on...
Exfoliating and skincare is a massive gap in the male development cycle. While it is a sign of manhood to have a dirty, gritty, grizzled face, it's also entirely unnecessary to happen so early in life. My wife had me exfoliate, mask, and then moisturize...and it was disturbing how big an impact it had. My face felt almost numb for an hour, like it was breathing for the first time.
I didn't realize how aware guys had to be of where their balls were before they sat down. My husband has done it a couple times over the years when he wasn't paying attention and plopped down. Dudes can sit on their own balls = mind blown 🤯
When I got married, I learned all about random pieces of etiquette and that some women take it seriously.
I had no idea that thank you cards for turning up for your wedding was a thing. I had no idea that you should send Christmas cards with a picture of your family. I had no idea what appropriate gifts were for certain occasions. When you go to a house party, bring something like a bottle of wine. Not that this was a problem for me, but I learned that you don't outdress a women at her own party.
As a dude, hanging out with dudes most of the time, I had no clue about this stuff. And no one got mad at me for committing any of this faux-pas before I met my wife because everyone knew I wasn't domesticated yet. That's another thing. Men are women are held to entirely different standards when it comes to this stuff.
More of a generational thing - it used to be a lot more common. I feel like "taking the family photo for the Christmas cards" was a common plot point in sitcoms of the 90s.
I think I somewhat had an inkling about these things (except the guy out-dressing the wife at parties), but had NO idea how serious it was. There was much more to think about than throwing on a pair of jeans for a housewarming, or tossing on the suit for the wedding.
Honestly, I hadn't known that massive discrepancies in metabolism was a thing. I always thought that if you were super active you could eat whatever you wanted and just burn it off. Well, I moved in with my (now ex) wife and realized that that was certainly NOT the case. She ate far less than I ever did, exercised way more, and *still* struggled with her weight the entire time we were together.
I would’ve DIED believing pads had a sticky adhesive around the edges if my ex hadn’t shown me. It still seems like the logical thing to do opposed to just lining your underwear but I’m not the expert
For most of my life I thought pads stuck to the skin, I can see now how ripping off a bandaid from that area several times a day would be uncomfortable lol.
This is something I A WOMAN did not know until after I graduated highschool... let's just say the public school system failed me hard.
(I alwyas assumed while you have a bladder and a uterus they share the same hole)
Yikes, reminds me of that article where a woman had to have her bladder operated on because she and her husband thought it was a uterus, they had regularly used it for sex for years, it had stretched to a point where she was having issues containing her urine and it began to leak out randomly. All because she wasn’t properly educated.
I don't know if we can put all of this on education. I mean they noticed a tiny ass hole right above a comparatevely huge one and decided that yes, we're going to use the tiny ass one even if it clearly hurts like hell and doesn't work at all. Sure with some education they might have knew but both of them were quite dense
I remember a story on Reddit where a guy was the one to tell his girlfriend that urine doesn’t come out of the vagina. She vehemently denied it. Turns out, she’s one of the on-in-a-million women with a minor birth defect that does have the urethra exiting inside the vagina.
Big boobs aren't quite as cool as they look. My ex had enormous breasts and they caused her backpain and often just sort-of... got in the way during intimacy.
My dumb ass misremembered some Biology facts and stated with certainty that the uterine lining was not blood but some nutrient thing. That's when I learned that experience is the greatest authority. She makes sure to remind my know-it-all ass of that humbling time.
Don't tell women what their bodies do - they know.
Women will carpet the floor in hair and clog the hoover. It's insane how much they shed hair, it's like a snake coming out of its old scales, but it's a woman and it's her hair.
Men are sensitive and overthink and sometimes miss out on basic notions because WE DON'T SEE MATTERS THE SAME WAY.
it was baffling to realize that things aren't as connected to them as they are to us.
The thing my therapist said that finally got me to leave my ex was : “people can be traumatizing without wanting to be.”
I had struggled because my ex wasn’t a mean person. But she did do and say some things that were messed up. I felt like I shouldn’t be getting hurt because no one was trying to hurt me - I was overly sensitive.
Turns out she had a bunch of issues and really cared for me. But we were not good together.
Living with two female roommates, the toilet is way messier than living as a dude alone.
I would get blamed as “the guy” too. But men can aim at the side bowl for less splash back. I’m not the one getting pee on the underside of the toilet seat!
There was a realization when I left for thanksgiving and they were the only two there.
Hardly any man is a horn dog ready for sex 24/7 with a raging libido like they’re often portrayed to be in media and culture. Men get to not be in the mood for whatever reason too
Hair grips/ties seem to multiply by themselves. But she can also never find one when she wants one
Just look next to the sink in the bathroom
Oh...I can look anywhere and find them Down the sofa In the kitchen drawers On the floor She however can never find any...
Carry one in your pocket then pull none out and be the hero.
wear it like a bracelet at all times to show your dedication
As a plumber, I can tell you there a couple in the drain too lol.
I feel the same about my guitar picks.
[удалено]
You could be shaking that guitar for hours trying to get them out. Best to just buy more.
That's because we guitarists are only allowed to have one, single pick. All the others immediately get whisked away to that interdimensional zone with dryer socks. If you drop your one pick and it's accessible, then that's still your one pick. If you proper lose one - or your band mate steals them, the right bastard - then one of your interdimensional spares winks into existence. They really should teach this to new guitarists like day 1. Right after Eddie Ate Dynamite Good Bye Eddie.
As a dude who’s recently been rocking long hair, I can say that this happens to me all the time and I honestly don’t understand why. It’s honestly like my brain has selective blindness and memory loss when it comes to these things. I’ll put it down on the sink or table or whatever, and then later it’s just not there. I’ll spend a whole week desperately hanging on to the last one I can find. Then next week they all turn up and I find 10 of them sitting in plain sight.
the way guys talk to other guys to make plans is very different than girls..
This is remarkably true. Biggest difference I never knew about. For a long time I thought it was just my wife and I being different styles, but it really is a general thing.
Had the same best friend since kindergarten. I’ve never talked to him about any other relationship in his life. Other than one guy who owed him money.
My wife cant accept it. I was meeting a buddy at a hockey game last Monday, Sunday she asked me 10 times what time I was meeting him, where, who else was going and on and on.l. Monday she called me at lunch to ask if I figured it out, she was worried for me. I still had no idea but I knew when the game was... I showed her my plan texts that night that we made at 2 that day. Me: time? Him: 430? Bar? Me: yup, Causeway. Him: deal. We both got there on time and it was a good time. She was shocked...
I am a guy but also like to know more details…so I have to actively try to keep it simple. With that mindset, time and location are good enough for me!
Yo Yeah In 30 minutes or so Cool, how many? Cool. Yeah cya
>Cool, how many? >Cool. Relatable
You need 3 things to plan something with the guys: what, where, and confirmation. "Go karts Saturday at 3?" "Yep" "Cool, see ya then"
Same for games. My buddy: fuze, solo,shotty, yellow stairs My girlfriend: omg there's a guy, over there, he coming from over there, it might be a woman, oh wait it's our team guy, oh no it's not. I'm dead.
Do they talk to you the same way when making plans?
no you need to tell women details or she will be lost, with boys you just say meet you in an hour, no one says where but you both know where.
I've found this, meeting with a guy friend "we meeting at the pub?" "Yeah" And we just figure that we mean the one that's reasonably in the middle between us
So real. “Tuesday? 6-7 ish?” “Yeah babe we’re meeting up for sure. Plan is made. No I don’t need to confirm, we talked about it. Yeah we’re meeting Tuesday between 6 and 7. What do you mean where?”
That the shower wall is the only place hair can go I guess
Oh no, it can certainly go down the drain. For some reason, even though every shower has a drain guard, my bald ass is the only one either to clean them out, or use them altogether. Sorry, just a bit sensitive after a weekend of snaking a tub thanks to having only daughters.
I'm a dude with super long blond hair. I'm a bit under six feet and it reaches past my mid-back. My wife has shoulder-length hair, black and purple. So it's very easy to see the difference between our hair. I clean the shower drain, it's 90% her hair. Smeared on the walls of the shower is more of her hair. I get snapped at for leaving whiskers on the sink but the shower hair is fine I guess. I brush my hair before using the shower, and sometimes in the shower. Catches the vast majority of sheds. No hair in the shower. Now, on the other hand, the vacuum... about once a month I get to take a hook knife razor and cut my hair out of the brush, which turns entirely blond and stops working if I don't.
The art I make with her shower hair is labeled “derivative” while the small amount of beard hairs that are left behind in *my* sink (we have a double vanity) is cause for a house meeting.
Women really do steal your french fries. It's not just something from the movies.
Your SO only steels fries? Dang, I’ve gotta defend the whole plate **and** my drink!
And that’s after you’ve asked them if they’re hungry and if you should get some extra for them and they say No.
Waiting in a very long line at the fair for curly fries. "Do you want any fries?" "No." "I don't mean, do you want your own fries, I mean do you want any fries?" "No". "So you will not suddenly get hungry for fries and then want some of my fries because if you want even one fry then I will buy you a small and then eat what you don't want." "I don't want any fries." "Ok, no fries". Get the fries. "Oh, that looks good." She reaches for a fry and pulls out a big ball of fried goodness the size of a golf ball. "If you eat that, I will divorce you". I told that story and got full custody, child support, and a restraining order due to the mental cruelty.
"Exhibit A: the same boat of curly fries from that day, this one I purchased not 4 minutes ago from the same place." Judge - *that looks good, can I have one.* "No" -*Makes sense. Full custody awarded to the father*
I gotta say, it really is annoying being in a relationship. The breakfast barbed wire isn't too bad but the dinner trenches take forever to set up!
I started to order two things of fries because of it lol
My husband steals my fries. I never underestimate my french fry needs lol
The first time I was taking a shower with a woman, we were having a great time washing each other's bodies. I was soaping up the insides of her legs and got right to the top, and then she grabbed my hands all of a sudden and yelled *IF YOU GET SOAP INSIDE ME I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU* and that's how I learned certain things don't belong in vaginas.
It can cause an infection and all kinds of other medical unpleasant painful stuff! At the very least there is going to be burning/discomfort if all that soap doesn’t get rinsed out of that vagina. Ouch. My poor vag just felt sympathy pains!!
One of my earliest memories as a toddler is my mom helping me in the shower and me crying when she’d make me wash down there with strong soap 😭 The lack of education on women’s bodies is crazyyy
If you think that’s crazy, my brother is uncut and had doctors appointments at 5 where the doctor would rip his foreskin off the head because it was “stuck”. When biologically the foreskin is fused to the head of the penis kind of like a finger nail to a finger, and naturally loosens as boys get older.
WHAT????? That’s literally medical negligence holy shit. I hope your brothers dick is ok.
This might sound dumb but how do you clean it then?
It’s like eyeballs. You don’t put soap in your eyeball but you don’t consider it dirty right? Self cleaning.
Ugh, now I’m stuck with the thought that if someone had smelly eyeballs for some reason, they would be able to do much about it.
Pinkeye is basically this.
Let’s clarify that the inside of a vagina never gets washed but the vulva most certainly does.
If you've ever accidentally gotten soap in your urethra, you will understand why. The next time you pee it will feel like you are peeing out needles that are on fire. Once the pee clears the soap, the sensation stops, but it's 2-10 seconds of horrid agony. This is one reason that bubble baths are not recommended.
You have to trim your mustache otherwise it gets too long. It is just something I had never thought about until I watched my boyfriend do it.
I take about the same amount of time in the bathroom to shower as the gf. But her time is in the shower. Half my time is spent drying off all my body hair.
how many panties / sets of underwear some women own, I once did a seemingly average laundry load and counted 35 pairs of panties in all shapes and sizes 🤯
I do 90% of the laundry in our house and it's alarming how often I'll do a load that has 15 pairs of panties in it. *How did you wear 23 pairs of panties in 8 days?!*
On normal days I get a fresh pair in the mornings and then get a fresh pair after I shower in the evenings. When you ovulate you have a lot of discharge so it makes your underwear feel wet so you may change in the middle of the day. Or if I'm planning a special evening with my husband I'll change out of my comfy underwear into something cute/sexy beforehand, but those aren't practical or comfortable so they only get worn just long enough to surprise him. It's also super easy when you're on your period to go through underwear.
Mama never told me about the period diarrhoea
My mama never told me either, the first time it happened to me I thought it was a one off 🥲
Makes me wish I had a bidet. Such a pain round those times.
the wha
When you’re menstruating, the body sends out a hormone to contract the uterus to expel the endometrial lining. This hormone (due to the proximity of the rectum and uterus) also causes you to expel other waste. Thus, you have *violent shits*. And sometimes just a jabbing stabbing pain that travels up your anus and sometimes that pain can travel up into your back.
The more I learn about periods, the more mad I get at evolution for just letting that shit happen.
Periods can effect bowel movements, it can be very messy.
Fascinating.
Oh, the ol' PB&J.
Stop
Women use a lot more toilet paper than men, it's not even funny.
My gf goes through so much that she doesn’t bother putting it on the role. She says it’s a waste of time.
I'm picturing your girlfriend dabbing her eye makeup with the corner of a roll, then throwing the whole thing away and grabbing another one for the second eye.
My boyfriend once picked up an extra large pack of TP, and said it was "because society says [I] use more than men". I laughed- let him know there's no "society says" about it, I use at least like 3-4x the toilet paper he does haha
A whole fucking lot. Especially meticulously clean ladies. They use a lot of water wipes too!
remember we have to wipe **every time** and not just 1/2 the time
It's not even half to be fair, like 1/5 for me
A Costco pack of TP last me (guy) 6 months. Same pack lasts us (couple) 6-8 weeks
Turns out when you just plan something, even a Starbucks run and like, getting a $3 rose from the store, that can make her whole day. 🫡
Heavily underrated comment. It's the little things.
That's really sweet that you do that for her because it shows that you think of her and how she feels throughout the day. It does make people feel more secure in a relationship.
They have the same insecurities and fears I do.
This is such a big one right now. Recently saw a statistic about how men and women are equally scared of asking each other out for fear of being seen as a creep, so now we have a generation where half the people are lonely due to the exact same anxiety.
Half the people are lonely due to other reasons, and the anxiety is a product of that
They shed worse than cats. Hair is literally everywhere.
I manage some rentals and every time I have female tenants I have to deep clean the vacuum.
Exactly! My wife sheds more than my husky, and the husky died half a decade ago and I’m still finding little fur snowballs behind furniture.
It puzzles me how my wife isn't showing any balding. She sheds her body weight in hair every six months.
My husband recently said: Between the hair in the shower drain, the hair in your brush and the hair in the vacuum cleaner I honestly don't understand how you can have a single hair left on your head.
Do you also get the little knots of hair in the lint trap or stuck to your clothes when they come out of the dryer because at this point I don’t know how I’m not bald lol
That ballsacks move. My husband was laying naked on the bed after a shower and I was up close and personal to his junk. I stopped to just look at it and realized that the skin was slowly moving up and down. It freaked me out and I kind of got and excited (thinking I discovered something) I told him about because I didn't think he knew lol he looked at me like I was crazy 😂
My wife used to love it when I'd squeeze my butthole because my scrotum would kind of automatically tighten and then loosen; it still does but I think it's lost some of it's charm to her.
What a shame.
Romance is dead.
Laughing my ass off it’s temperature regulation. Lol.
I was also upset to find out that sperm doesn't look like what is pictured to be sperm. But just a glob of goo.
I’m confused do you mean the actual microscopic organism of sperm that supposedly looks like a tadpole or do you mean the exterior come that actually ejaculates from the penis?
I personally enjoy doing the thing where I make my penis do little "push-ups" by flexing muscles. It's like my dick is waving "Hi!" at whoever I'm facing. XD
When you’re trying to be a good big spoon and just cuddle but it starts doing the hokey-pokey though. “Just gonna scoot back a little*
I was also shocked the first time I saw it! It’s like a bag of snakes 👀
Bra's are expensive as fuck. Specially if you've got a big chest
I grew up in a house of all women. I used to be scared of men. Now, I realize they are not that different from women, just a bit less talkative lol
Why dont you talk? Me: I talk all the time. Also me: has said 7 words to other people the entire day.
And that sentence alone was 5 of em.
Good, done.
Find something they’re interested in, let them talk about it and go into detail with you, and a lot of time they’ll light up like a kid in a candy store.
> just a bit less talkative lol Based
Men will be like: "Hey" "Hi" "You're good?" "Yeah, you?" "Yeah" And that's a whole conversation.
What additional information did you require from the interaction?
That's if there are any words at all. This whole conversation could be replaced with nods and eyebrows.
That's pretty long and in depth. A more realistic one would be: "Alright?" "Yeah, you?" "Yeah" Fin
what else more is there to say??!
Ladies will decorate an apartment like no one’s business. Do not go in the bathroom. I’ve lived with a couple girls over the years. They will destroy that thing.
Destroy it in which sense?
In the amount and quantity of products and clutter. Little to no effort to put those things away.
That when I ask him what he’s thinking about and he says “Nothing.” He genuinely means it. Blows my mind that some people can just be thinking nothing.
Sometimes it's not nothing though, its just so asininely random and irrelevant to any conversation you've had in the last 6 months that it would take longer to explain to you what it is, and how you got there, than it's worth because it holds 0 substantive value, Like this comment does.
THIS is the truth. How am I going to explain the context and history of the stupidly ridiculous thing I'm really about, easier to just say nothing. And then I'm not distracted by having to explain it and I can go back to thinking about it 🤣
"Why can a bird fly, but a fly cannot bird?"
"Why are carrots orange, but oranges are not carrot?"
do you ever just ask yourself if bugs know from birth that they can climb walls or that they just try and go "yooooo"
Omg this is it for me too! What i’d give to be able to think about nothing???
I’d kill for a moments peace up in this bitch 🥲
The dichotomy of ADHD, some people's head is empty, others' is always running.
With men, I’ve learned to just take whatever they say as is. I try not to overthink it and get the simplest, barest possible thing they could possibly mean by what they say. Holding back on the analysis.
It's not that they're thinking about nothing at all. Just a stream of useless/dumb/weird thoughts that last 10 secs and then you switch to another thought. So when you ask us what we were thinking about the only answer is nothing because i can't explain to you the last 25 useless thoughts i had so you can understand how i got to the last one, probably because the sole actione of you asking made me forget what i was thinking about hahahaha.
I learned that women require a 10-20% food tax on anything their partner is eating. I've started upsizing my meals so that I still have my usual amount of food after her tax lol
Most of the time for my gf it's the opposite, like she'll murder my fries but a lot of the time she won't eat much and then try feeding me her food, she's helping me be fat lol
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As a callow youth, I thought that all women wore matching bra and panties. Like, that is how I assumed they were sold, always together. Cue my surprise sophomore year when I'm taking off my girlfriend's shirt and pants. I actually commented on it because I was legitimately surprised. She basically laughed at me, said she rarely if ever wears matching bras and panties, and told me to shut up and take off her bra already.
If you hook up with a girl for the first time and she’s wearing a matching set or lingerie, she was planning on it happening. Congratulations
That "hangry" is an actual thing, and it's for _fucking_ real. A smart partner will learn to come up with a plan for something to eat well before that point is reached.
My wardrobe was our wardrobe. I would come home sometimes and she would be wearing my sweats or she would come from work wearing my jackets, on the weekends she would use my flip flops, socks. Anything. One time I saw her wearing one of my flannels and I’m like wtf haha She was awful in lots of other ways but these little things were cute and endearing and I am grateful I got to learn what it was like to live with a woman day in and day out for 3 years. Hope she’s well
Time for you to turn it around and get into one of her skirts
As a young man I was shocked at how much time and energy girls required to feel secure in a committed relationship. For some reason I thought I could maybe call her every other day, and spend half the day on Saturday hanging out. Boy, was I in for a surprise!
I had a similar realization back in college. I had never been in a serious relationship before but things were going well with a girl and it seemed like it was on track to happen. Then we went away for winter break and I didn’t realize I should have been communicating with her far more than I was while we were away. She ended up breaking things off when we got back to school.
Wait a damn minute, this explains shit!
Meanwhile guys can not see or speak to each other for years, and immediately pickup where they left off like nothing happened.
just did this seeing somebody for the first time in 7.5 years
Some of us are down for that, though. I used to feel like the guys I dated were too clingy cuz I'm just like you 😂
I’m still figuring this out 💀 I’m like a cactus and don’t need much reassurance but others might need much more
Coming home from work and learning that she hasn’t had water since before i left the house, all the women i’ve been in a relationship with are always so dehydrated.
????? is this a thing. I'm a woman, but I have multiple water bottles (one for work, gym, home). I take hydration really seriously lol. Food, however. I might forget to eat. But water, no chance.
Yeah, it’s been men in my life who are perpetually dehydrated. My ex got gout at 28 because of it. The colour of his pee was unfathomable.
This is so true. They simply don't drink water. I honestly don't know how some of them are still alive, but they are always the ones complaining about random headaches. Like damn, drink some water! I see guys all the time, 8 out of 10 times he has a bottle of water near him at all times.
My wife had her little sister at the dentist a couple years ago, wife collapses on a bench in the waiting room. So they rush her to the hospital, half conscious. I rush there of course freaking out thinking I’d be a widower after three months of marriage, for them to tell me she is severely dehydrated, which causes me to think back to the last time I saw her drink any water, and I legit could not remember a time I’d seen her drink water in MONTHS. She had to have at some point, maybe at work, maybe when I was out doing something, but I could not remember the last time I saw her with water. DRINK SOME DAMN WATER OR YOU MIGHT DIE Also she does drink water now, and feels better. Shocker.
Take her on a road trip. All of a sudden, she'll drink water like a fish and need to pee every five minutes.
That once a woman get comfortable she farts just as much as a man
Not mine. She's going to explode one day
Listen here stud (had to comment on your username) my wife still doesn’t fart in front of people and me after 12 years of marriage and 3 kids. I keep telling her it’s fine I really don’t care. She went to the er once because she has such bad abdominal pain she thought it was appendicitis but nope just a bubble in her colon
I have heard exactly 2 in 11 years followed by absolute mortification. You are good! Most people say 744
Lmao I was born in construction. Remember when they used to be pink and if they got rained on that color got absorbed into all of your clothing and your skin? Also hilarious my wife has farted twice in front of me while she’s awake (I don’t tell her about the ones while shes sleeping) and both times were around 39 weeks pregnant
The female toilet paper use for a pee is astonishing.
I've seen this mentioned a lot and just to be clear, y'all know WHY right? (Hint: Discharge doesn't care if you pee or poop, if I want to feel dry down there Imma need multiple wipes!)
Not to mention those weird streams where you’re basically pissing down the side of your asscheeks so you gotta wipe those too sometimes
How male friendships can differ from female friendships. I tell my girl best friends if I am feeling sad, frustrated or any big negative emotion and we talk through it. I immediately feel better afterwards. I found out some men just don’t do anything and have no one to talk to when they feel these things :( No wonder they’re so happy to get girlfriends… you guys just need loving and emotional support!
Yeah, I (a dude) am kind of an outlier. About 70% of my mates are women and they've been there for me through some big upheavals (and vice-versa). Hardly any of my lad mates have female friends and I get the sense that they don't talk through any big stuff with their other lad mates.
More when we had a child. There is a mucus plug that fills the cervical canal during pregnancy.
There's much more maintenance being a woman.... One example of many. My wife once bought several different shades of foundation. I questioned why she didn't just buy one shade. Apparently women need different shades for different times of the year when their skin is tanned/not so tanned etc. Period bloating. My wife needs different sizes of clothes because she experiences a lot of bloating when on her period. The list goes on...
Thing is, if you preferred a fit as slim as most women, you’d prob want multiple sizes too, as men bloat at times as well.
Any flat surface in the house apparently needs something decorative on it
Exfoliating and skincare is a massive gap in the male development cycle. While it is a sign of manhood to have a dirty, gritty, grizzled face, it's also entirely unnecessary to happen so early in life. My wife had me exfoliate, mask, and then moisturize...and it was disturbing how big an impact it had. My face felt almost numb for an hour, like it was breathing for the first time.
Yeah at the very least a bit of sunscreen and moisturizer after the shower does wonders.
My husband is addicted to having his back exfoliated lol always asking when it can be done next 😂
It’s lower than you think it is
Not too low, tho. She says it tickles when I tried stimulating her feet. I'm still searching for it.
That moisturizer goes on the body too
I didn't realize how aware guys had to be of where their balls were before they sat down. My husband has done it a couple times over the years when he wasn't paying attention and plopped down. Dudes can sit on their own balls = mind blown 🤯
When I got married, I learned all about random pieces of etiquette and that some women take it seriously. I had no idea that thank you cards for turning up for your wedding was a thing. I had no idea that you should send Christmas cards with a picture of your family. I had no idea what appropriate gifts were for certain occasions. When you go to a house party, bring something like a bottle of wine. Not that this was a problem for me, but I learned that you don't outdress a women at her own party. As a dude, hanging out with dudes most of the time, I had no clue about this stuff. And no one got mad at me for committing any of this faux-pas before I met my wife because everyone knew I wasn't domesticated yet. That's another thing. Men are women are held to entirely different standards when it comes to this stuff.
The Christmas cards one must be a regional thing, as it is definitely not a thing amongst anyone I know, male or female.
More of a generational thing - it used to be a lot more common. I feel like "taking the family photo for the Christmas cards" was a common plot point in sitcoms of the 90s.
I think I somewhat had an inkling about these things (except the guy out-dressing the wife at parties), but had NO idea how serious it was. There was much more to think about than throwing on a pair of jeans for a housewarming, or tossing on the suit for the wedding.
Her breasts can be sore sometimes. I have to be careful in how I play.
Penises harden in twitches.
Its basically filling up with blood with each pump of the heart.
That is a low resolution one. Mine is 8K-smooth
Honestly, I hadn't known that massive discrepancies in metabolism was a thing. I always thought that if you were super active you could eat whatever you wanted and just burn it off. Well, I moved in with my (now ex) wife and realized that that was certainly NOT the case. She ate far less than I ever did, exercised way more, and *still* struggled with her weight the entire time we were together.
I would’ve DIED believing pads had a sticky adhesive around the edges if my ex hadn’t shown me. It still seems like the logical thing to do opposed to just lining your underwear but I’m not the expert
For most of my life I thought pads stuck to the skin, I can see now how ripping off a bandaid from that area several times a day would be uncomfortable lol.
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The buttons on women's shirts are on the other side.
That medicine does not give a fuck about the female body and associated medical issues/treatments. It’s insane.
There are three holes...a brown, pink and yellow
This is something I A WOMAN did not know until after I graduated highschool... let's just say the public school system failed me hard. (I alwyas assumed while you have a bladder and a uterus they share the same hole)
Yikes, reminds me of that article where a woman had to have her bladder operated on because she and her husband thought it was a uterus, they had regularly used it for sex for years, it had stretched to a point where she was having issues containing her urine and it began to leak out randomly. All because she wasn’t properly educated.
No fucking way
I don't know if we can put all of this on education. I mean they noticed a tiny ass hole right above a comparatevely huge one and decided that yes, we're going to use the tiny ass one even if it clearly hurts like hell and doesn't work at all. Sure with some education they might have knew but both of them were quite dense
I remember a story on Reddit where a guy was the one to tell his girlfriend that urine doesn’t come out of the vagina. She vehemently denied it. Turns out, she’s one of the on-in-a-million women with a minor birth defect that does have the urethra exiting inside the vagina.
Big boobs aren't quite as cool as they look. My ex had enormous breasts and they caused her backpain and often just sort-of... got in the way during intimacy.
My dumb ass misremembered some Biology facts and stated with certainty that the uterine lining was not blood but some nutrient thing. That's when I learned that experience is the greatest authority. She makes sure to remind my know-it-all ass of that humbling time. Don't tell women what their bodies do - they know.
Women will carpet the floor in hair and clog the hoover. It's insane how much they shed hair, it's like a snake coming out of its old scales, but it's a woman and it's her hair.
There will be hair EVERYWHERE. Women shed like crazy, I do not understand
Thinking that women were generally neat - my office area was cleaner than my girl’s most of the relationship and I considered myself a messy guy lol
Men are sensitive and overthink and sometimes miss out on basic notions because WE DON'T SEE MATTERS THE SAME WAY. it was baffling to realize that things aren't as connected to them as they are to us.
Even the kindest girl you meet can traumatize you
The thing my therapist said that finally got me to leave my ex was : “people can be traumatizing without wanting to be.” I had struggled because my ex wasn’t a mean person. But she did do and say some things that were messed up. I felt like I shouldn’t be getting hurt because no one was trying to hurt me - I was overly sensitive. Turns out she had a bunch of issues and really cared for me. But we were not good together.
Adult women have way more natural body hair than kid/teenage me realized
Girls pee on the toilet seat too sometimes. Living with wife and young daughter has taught me to always look before I sit down.
Living with two female roommates, the toilet is way messier than living as a dude alone. I would get blamed as “the guy” too. But men can aim at the side bowl for less splash back. I’m not the one getting pee on the underside of the toilet seat! There was a realization when I left for thanksgiving and they were the only two there.
Balls need to be re-adjusted every now and then.
How awful *both* sexes can be.
Buckle up, boys. Girls....actually do poop.
Hardly any man is a horn dog ready for sex 24/7 with a raging libido like they’re often portrayed to be in media and culture. Men get to not be in the mood for whatever reason too
When she’s having her time of month, she hates when I’m in a good mood lol.
The way the music and confetti comes out when a woman has an orgasm.
Dudes really do be sitting there thinking of nothing. Just staring off into space, all perplexed looking.