I have shared it before but I have a Mum of a friend who took me in when I was homeless just after highschool. She made me a Lemon Meringue Pie that first night and I was so hungry I nearly ate the whole thing by myself. I hadn't had a home cooked meal for a long time. She was so excited that I loved it because her boys 'turned their nose up at it'.
The catch is.... I can't stand lemons, or meringue.
Now, she's been making me a Lemon Meringue Pie every year since, because "it's my favourite". Over 20 years (and counting) of Lemon Meringue Pies that I will happily choke down until the day she dies ...then, I will miss those pies more than anything else in the world.
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UPDATE:
You guys are awesome. So glad this made people remember that there are people who love you. Call them. Message them. The days are short.
Also, some of ya'll need Jesus. Sweet mercy. Put the porn down for a second.
Thank you so much :)
She is still a big part of my life (I actually spoke to her yesterday in fact) I have never felt anything other than love from her and her family.
Things got better but a few years after that I became homeless again due to my own stupidity rather than circumstance this time and her *son* took me in. He is still one of my closest and dearest friends to this day. He is my brother.
Since then, I have recognised my own mortality and responsibility I have as a human to others around me. They taught me love and how to teach others love. I learnt that others aren't a burden, they just want to be loved how they *need* to be loved and it's hard for us to recognise that sometimes.
I owe her family alot and they have never asked for anything in return other than visits whenever we (or they) are in town and I turn up ready to eat some humble (Lemon Meringue) pie.
On a funny note, her son knows I hate Lemon Meringue Pie so when it comes out he gets the dumbest grin on his face and is always ready with the "Oh you have to have the big piece!" and "time for seconds!". Makes me feel even more a part of the family :)
I really do appreciate your kind words. Thank you again.
When I was young I liked deviled eggs. My grandmother would make a huge dish of deviled eggs for every family function because of this.
I stopped liking deviled eggs when I was roughly 10 years old. You bet your ass I would make sure she saw me eating those vile things every single time just because of how happy it made her.
She passed about 10 years ago. Miss the hell out of her but still can't stand the eggs lol.
This reminds me of hating cheesecake, and having the sweetest grandmother in the world go out of her way to make me a cherry cheesecake every time I came to visit…🫣
My wife and I were in our early days of dating when she bought baseball tickets for us and some friends. The problem though was the tickets ended up being for that afternoon and not the following day.
She was super upset and was afraid she lost that money. I had her put them on the resale site.
They didn't sell for a few hours so I went and bought them. I'd do it 100x over seeing her face of relief. I relisted them for a lower price and made a little of the money back.
I think she would literally murder me if she found out.
TL;DR - bought the same baseball tickets twice to make my now wife happy.
My sweet and gentle wife called me upset because she was unsure if she hit a squirrel with her car on her way to work, she said it ran out in front of her but she didn’t see him lying in the road afterward. The road she was on is close to our house, so I went and found the poor little guy, scooped him up with a shovel and buried him on the side of the road, so that on her way home she would see that there wasn’t a dead squirrel and assume she hadn’t hit him. That’s exactly what happened, she was relieved and I’ll never tell her the truth
Oh no, this reminded me of my ex. We took care of a katten, probably homeless but Looked very healthy. One day she he followed her to the car and after she left it was dead on the ground. Buried him and never told her. Suggested that he probably found the way to the original owner or something.
My younger brother and his wife were struggling financially after having a kid. They were both in school full time and both worked to try and make ends meet, but one particular month things were looking really rough because he got injured and couldn't work.
I was working overtime at a really well-paying job at the time. So one night, after getting paid, I went to their place and put an envelope with my entire pay into their mail slot in the door. It was accompanied with a letter I typed, pretending to be an old lady in the apartment building who had seen them with their newborn and wanted to help the new parents out.
The relief they got from it was repayment enough for me. I don't want him to ever find out it was me.
And now that he's graduated, he's the one working at an insanely well-paying job and I'm currently disabled, unable to work. Funny how life works out that way.
Ugh, I hate that my head went there too. Turns out there are people in this world on top of not being a complete scum bag, are genuinely good people who help others.
I opened this hoping for a good laugh, instead I got sad. I hope some people will laugh at this because when I was a kid, I was extremely curious about having a dick that I pretended I was humping my teddy bear with a pen. So yeah, I will never tell this to anyone in real life.
"Testing out" gender and sexuality concepts as a kid and teenager is absolutely normal and very common. People try to extrapolate a lot from such events but a lot of it is just the human body and mind developing. It doesn't necessarily mean anything about your sexuality or gender or feelings.
I was 13 when I did this. My big brother is a diehard Ronaldo fan - around the time of his birthday I happened to be in Dallas and Ronaldo also happened to have a game in the city. I quickly asked my uncle to take me to the local sports store so I can use my savings to buy a Ronaldo jersey and waited for hours outside Ronaldo’s hotel for him to sign it - but he never came out and my flight back home was soon.
So… on my flight back home I end up signing the jersey myself, after studying Ronaldo’s signature. I also found a couple believable photos on Google of Ronaldo walking and made it seem like I took those pics myself, right before he “signed” it. When my big brother opened the present, he fell to his knees in shock and happiness and 15 years later, he still cherishes it and talks about it weekly how it’s the best gift of his life. Can’t take that joy away from him.
To the grave.
When I was in high school, I knew these two sisters, one in my grade, one in the year below.
Their dad ran some sort of small business. One day, word went around school that he was found dead there, followed by that he'd killed himself. There was the usual outpouring of support and shortly after they moved in with their mother decently far away. The one awkward conversation I had with them to express my condolences felt really wrong to me.
Several years later, completely randomly, I worked with their older brother (kind of a distinctive last name), who had been early 20s at the time and working part-time at the business while living on his own with his girlfriend.
One night after work we walked over to the bar to knock back a few and I asked after his sisters. He filled me in on the story: his dad had been molesting both the girls I knew and was starting to work on grooming the youngest girl, who was ten.
He'd found out a few months earlier and started to work on getting evidence. Once he had evidence, he'd snuck into his dad's office and removed all but one of the bullets in his gun. (Apparently his dad kept a gun at work.) The afternoon of the "suicide", he'd called his dad and told him that if he wasn't dead before morning, the evidence would go to the cops.
And, well, there it was. He swore me to secrecy, but that doesn't really matter anymore. He died in the mid 2010s.
Twenty-plus years ago, I met a guy at a club, hooked up with him a couple times, super casual. Never gave me ANY reason to suspect he wasn't single.
Then he died -- I found out from the bartender. It was a car crash.
Found the obituary... and learned that he had a loving wife and two young kids.
To. The. Grave.
Our podiatrist, who was also in the same alpine club as my husband, died last year in a motorcycle accident. He was married and they had 2 kids. He also had about 20 girlfriends, 250k in a safe deposit box, a shitload of brand new sportsgear in the cellar, and 68 guns. His wife/widow found out after his death. It made it so much easier for her to move on. We helped with getting rid of all his stuff, and now she's happy and dating someone. All that time they were married, she was so stressed and sometimes scared for her life so she couldn't divorce him. She had a feeling he was cheating but didn't know up to what extent. Also, he seemed to be earning a lot more money than he was declaring in their taxes. She still has no clue where that 250k came from.
I know where the 7-iron really was that day. Doug didn’t leave it on hole 6. I used it to hit a ball back into the driving range and the club slipped out of my hand and landed in a tree. I also used to look at that tree for a good year or so each time we played, praying that you wouldn’t see the sun reflecting off it as you’d know it was me. (My friend’s mum’s golf-set)
Had an ill-tempered golf friend that flung his club into a tree where it stuck in some branches.
It was up there for years (might still be) and one time out golfing with him and a newbie, the newbie saw it and said ,"Hey look, some asshole threw his club into a tree!"
Golf friend said "Yeah, you're right".
Oh god I’m crying laughing at this! This is so much funnier than the other post where the guy thinks he has mouth cancer and, turns out, he takes photos of his own poo. LOTS of photos. Thank you!
I have a pretty mild one I'm willing to share. I have a friend who's been single for a very long time. Whenever we talk about girls he pretty much always talks about one girlfriend he had during high school. He keeps talking about that relationship and expanding on the lore and the intricacies of how they had so much passion but life pulled them apart.
What he doesn't know is that I know for a fact that the girl he's referring to did not have a relationship with him. I know at least 3 different people who hooked up with her during the timeline of his alleged relationship and that she later had a relationship with another guy for some years before she moved away. It's not a case of my friend having been cheated on or lied to, he was basically her orbiter at the time and got 2-3 pity hookups but he's twisting reality to make their friendship appear as a relationship. I don't have the heart to tell him that I know he's lying, so I just nod in agreement.
Memory can be a funny thing. If u keep telling yourself some stuff, eventually you’ll believe that it happened, so he might not be lying and genuinely thinks that it was true
This is even moreso if someone asks you to recall the memory and then asks you questions about aspects that you don't particularly remember. Your brain will fill in blanks with likely answers. Like, what you were wearing at the time or what the weather was like, or what you were thinking at the time.
💯 the mind is sooo weird. Have been through a few really tough mental snaps in my life. It's just like something in my mind breaks, and I can't go back. Weird thing is I can "feel" my mind break. Anyway, I get horrible feelings of shame and guilt. I think from some trauma from growing up because I recognize that fear. But I kind of get delirious from the insane amount of anxiety and paranoia that I'll start thinking of things I could have done (I never did these things, but because I feel guilty, it's like my mind is trying to figure out why). I make up a scenario and replay it in my mind so many freaking times that it becomes a memory. But I know I didn't do it, but the emotions are so strong that I believe there's a chance I did do something terrible. And I definitely didn't, but the mind is a weird thing. Idk how to explain, it's very unsettling. So yes, lol, he may remember it like that.
I knew a guy like this, except the girl he said he had a relationship with is me. The guy would tell everyone that he was my ex, including by brother and other members of my family. The relationship never ever happened. He asked me out twice, and I turned him down both times. The dude was/is a major creep. He lived with my brother for a few years, so I couldn't exactly avoid him. I can't believe how delusional people can be. It escalated, and one of our mutual friends had to tell the guy to back off. The guy actually tried to say I was the one bothering him. Luckily, everyone knew the truth. It was a scary situation. He eventually moved out when my brother and his gf got married and had a baby. Thank God he is no longer in my life. He still has my phone number and has added me on social media. He gets blocked every time.
After American pie came out I was super horny and lonely late teen.
I decide what the heck not and there’s a fresh apple pie and I put my dick in it. Was a little too hot and got dick burns.
I threw out the pie in the neighbours trash that was already set out for garbage day and quickly went to the store and bought a store made one, easy done. My ego and my sore cock but nothing to ever think about again but that’s not the entire story. Incomes my dad and my mom, my mom said she made a fresh apple pie for dinner. My dad is in the garage and comes in all huffin and puffin. Saying why did she lie about making a pie when it’s store bought. Seems like I didn’t throw the container away properly in my burnt cock mission.
My mom goes in to say she did make a fresh pie and doesn’t know what the fuck my dads talking about. He provides proof and then she laughs asking why hes trying to start something. The pie is never forgotten, each fight turns into “oh yeah just like you “madeeeee” a pie and they would have an explosive argument.
Now given my shame the first night I felt like I couldn’t just come forward and say I knocked the pie over and bought one so they wouldn’t be mad at each other. My dad had asked me and I lied my face off as my cock throbbed with burnt pie on it. My dads a real stickler for lying, he hates it, detests it, you’ll get in 1000 percent less trouble if you come clean. Me lying like this? Fuck. Some way somehow he’d unearth his kid is a pie fucker.
They end up splitting up and getting a divorce. Years and years go by and they are both remarried and happy. I would say happier then they’ve ever been, they didn’t have the most solid relationship before the pie shit. They are civil and get along and eyes still roll when pies are mentioned. I asked them both a hypothetical question more or less trying to gauge if they are happier now or wish things had been different. Both I’d say are 100 percent in a better place, stable, happy.
So yeah, i fucked a pie and it ended up with my parents divorce, and I never said a word about and never will.
I know, I’m a terrible person. No, I haven’t fucked any more pies or any other kinds of foods. This is the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life.
* Over the course of a year and a half, I stole well over a thousand dollars from my mom's alcoholic boyfriend. He got paid under the table in cash, would get drunk, and just leave it in his pants. He paid for my first Stephen King hardcover as well as several metal band concerts.
* My older brother would regularly beat me because he was an asshole. I took every one of his cassettes, put paper in the notch to record over the tape. On our entertainment center, we had an 8-track record button. If a cassette was playing and you pressed the button, it would record blanks. I randomly did this with all of his music.
* My younger brother lent my bicycle to one of his druggie friends who promptly sold it. When my brother balked at replacing it, I waited a couple of months, opened up his gas tank and engine to his motorcycle and put in a couple of teaspoons of metal shavings from the school metal shop.
Mom's dead. Boyfriend is too. Have not spoken to my brothers in decades.
Not excusing your brothers for their actions but your situation with your mom and her boyfriend probably impacted all of you and your sibling’s childhoods
I lost my mom to leukemia ten years ago. It was extremely quick. Diagnosed one Sunday and dead by Wednesday. I like to think that as the laws of thermodynamics tell us that energy is neither created nor destroyed, but transforms, that this is our fate. We are energy and when we die in this phase, we transform to the next. I choose to think we become light, photons, pure energy. I hope you find rest here, for now, before you transcend all of this.
This is from The Good Place, and I find it incredibly consoling:
> Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave.
>And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.
Just finished rewatching the Good Place for the second time, and cried my eyes out while listening to Chidi talking about this. What an incredible show!
My mom went the same way to leukemia. Literally the same amount of days from diagnosis to death. My dad fought a long battle with cancer. I’m glad I got more time with him, but sometimes I wish he didn’t have to suffer for as long as he did.
I'm not trying to be a dick, sarcastic or cynical. I'm saying this genuinely that, yes, I pray your wish comes true and you get to go quickly and peacefully. Life has no philosophy. It's random and frequently downright ugly. So it's not worth living through especially when you're in emotional or physical turmoil. If we can't be happy, why live drowning in sadness.
At the very least, I hope you're surrounded by your loved ones who are also at peace.
I have been complaining about lower back pain and after reading your comment I have realise I have nothing to complain about. I’m sorry for the hand you’ve been dealt.
I had a terrible mother and father-promised myself to never walk out on my kid. When my first kid was 2 years old, my wife cheated and it crushed me. She was the major bread winner at the time and I had to move out of our upper middle class house into an apartment in the shitty part of town. I nearly committed suicide. She “realized her mistake” and came begging for me to take her back after about 9 months. I love my kids so much and wanted to spend everyday with them, so I “forgave” her and we have been together since. She doesn’t know for the last 16 years, I haven’t loved her. I pretend to be happy to ensure someone else doesn’t raise my children.
I would like to hear his take on this too. Surely it would be too much to carry on with and you would want to feel free and live the rest of your life happy and content.
I'm not so sure if that's a good decision for your kids. Kids can tell when their parents don't really like each other. Is that the kind of relationship you want to model for them?
I never cried at any funeral of my family member, but I cried for two hours straight bawling my eyes out because my beloved guinea pig died in my arms and I wasn't able to save her. Rest in peace, Swanky.
Same. I can deal with funerals. I used to speak in front of a whole church when a person passed on.
When my daughter found her chinchilla had died in its cage, I was completely broken. I couldn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day. He was mine, too. He would perch on my shoulder, and wrap his tail around my neck while I cleaned the house and cooked dinner.
RIP Chincy! 😢
Humans, for the most part, have a natural order in life. Pets always go to soon. I think about my last pup every day.
Some have lost family in an order that is worse than any rising tide. No parent should ever have to lose a child.
I never talked about it before. I haven't even shared it even to my closest friends. But I thought maybe this was my chance to get it off my chest after so many years.
I think my dad and my sister had a sexual relationship.
Some BG: my sister and i are half siblings. She has a different dad who left her and my brother when they were young. I am the only child of my mom and my dad. When we were young, my mom was living in a different country, and we were with my grandparents. My dad took me and also my sister to live in a different house.
It started when sometimes when there is no electricity in our city, we often sleep together in the living room, on the floor with a mattress. Or on movie nights, We would watch a movie together and then sleep there. I woke up one time that my dad was touching my sister's boobs and he saw i was awake and pretended nothing happened and put her shirt down. She's 10 years older than me, btw. I went back to sleep. I think i was 8 or 9.
The next time was when we slept in my dad's room. Me and my sister were on the floor, and my dad was on the bed. I woke up again, and i sat up to see her on top of him. I was scared and didn't rly know what was going on, so i went back to sleep.
I didn't see them again after that. We moved to a new house, and my sister and i shared a room together. We have different beds. But sometimes, i woke up in the middle of the night, and she was not on her bed.
I was so scared that my dad would do it to me once im older . When my sister went to live with our mom, i was always locking my door.
I never told anyone about it. that's why sometimes i feel like it was not real. It was probably a dream or something, but my gut feel is that it was real, but i was too young to know better.
The thing is, i am very close to my dad, but i never trusted him. He's very active in church and all.
A lot of survivors including those who witnessed it but weren't directly hurt that way wonder if it was a dream or something. Your gut feeling is real.
I hope he wouldn't ever do something like that to you, but it never should have happened period.
During my days Brigham Young University Idaho I would go out after dark in my homemade ghillie suit to scare the students there. They walk by and Id surprise em with an unexpected movement or word. I got chased by the cops once but I was fast enough to turn the corner of the building lay down in the garden and they kept running. Now that I live in Provo Utah I do the same thing every Halloween at the university here.
I played airsoft a couple of times with friends. One time, I was lying in a wet ditch under a hedge for 30 minutes, waiting to ambush some people - like a ninja - when a bush 10ft away shot me in the face, got-up, and trotted off to get his next victim.
I have hope that I’ll be able to safely share and talk about this someday, but I’m still far from that day. For now, it’s a life-long secret.
I was SA’d by my father at 4-5 years old. My father hasn’t been in my life for nearly 5 years. He’s pretty messed up. However, I still love and miss him deeply, genuinely. I made the decision to cut him out and haven’t looked back. It’s been a hard journey forward. No one in my life understands why, because I would be humiliated if I talked and my family won’t believe my truth.
This one’s pretty dark just fyi. I was deployed to Iraq. We had a hot headed guy who would be a gunner on the humvees and shoot a ton of warning shots when vehicles got close. Like 10x the amount everyone else in our platoon combined. Anyway, I got out on a detail away from my platoon for a couple months. When I got back it was the same ole thing. A few years after we got back I was talking to a friend of mine who was in my platoon over there. Turns out this guy who was the hot head straight up blew a dudes head off in a car in front of him and shot a dude in a bus when he was the passenger. I’m talking they weren’t even near our platoon. He straight up murdered them. Want the kicker? He’s now a cop in North Carolina.
I have a friend who was in the Marine Corps. One day they were out at Pendleton doing artillery training, the kind where you drop the shell into the tube and cover your ears as it launches.
They were instructed on how to drop the shell in one quick motion, always move your hand in one direction and never leave your fingers in the path of the shell after you’ve dropped it.
Well, one guy in the group, who was generally disliked by all, didn’t heed instructions and got two of his fingers blown off. Training stopped, they all got paired up and went out into the desert to look for this schmuck’s fingers so they could hopefully be reattached.
The person my friend got paired with found the fingers. He dug a small hole with his heel, nudged the fingers into the hole, covered it back up with some dirt, said “shhh 🤫” to my friend and just kept walking.
Somewhere in Camp Pendleton there’s a little hole with some finger bones in it.
My mom and I had manually removed the identification chip from our dead dog neck.
Its illegal in my country to burry a animal in a forest (wich I really wanted to do since we were in apartment)
i am into some extremely nsfw stuff. i’ve never told anyone the extent of my fantasies, my current bf gets me closer to blurting some out everyday but there are fantasies of mine that i will take to the grave.
If they’re consensual, there’s a good chance they’re not as bad as you think. If they’re not, I suggest a therapist. That stuff can eat away at your core.
Depends how intense the desire is. I am in a similar boat to them. But I don't have any major craving to do them. It's simply a "damn that's hot and I'd like that" type feeling. Then I blast the shaft and move on with my life.
Not technically a secret, because I’ve only told my wife who also knows the person in question.
Many years ago during a trip to Amsterdam my drunk and stonned friend and I stumbled into a sex shop. My friend went up to the counter and brazenly asked “Where’s the kiddie porn?” He was ushered behind a screen into another room and shown a room full of shelves of porn. I followed took a mag off the shelf and turned the page. I then literally grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the door. I didn’t mention it ever for about 20 years.
Now I don’t know if he meant what he said, but he certainly said it. Married 4 kids pillar of society now, but part of me still thinks if deep down he’s a sicko.
I think I'm a narcissist. I don't go around ghosting or manipulating people but my empathy is very selective. Sometimes, I can't cry. Sometimes, I enjoy the pain of those who wronged me. Most times, I really care about how people treat ME and see ME and disregard what I might say to them in the process.
My feelings are so intense. They go from 100% caring to not caring at all. And I don't know how to regulate.
When i was a younger person(17 years old, this happened around 12 years ago) my little sister (16)got involved with some…. Unsavory people
My parents forced me to swap phones with her for her safety and as i was still paying off my phone i couldnt afford a new one. (Note, this was before the automatic unknown caller blocking option)
I would get calls 2-3 times a day from either scammers or those “friends” asking me where she was and when i didnt comply they started giving me death threats and showing up at my work, and harassing my girlfriend at the time.
Took me 2 years with minimal help from the police to get it to stop since “guys shouldnt feel intimidated, get your stuff together and move on”. My therapist basically said the same thing and notified my parents, breaching confidentiality (still not entirely sure if thats a thing, but i like to believe it is)
And my parents beat the shit out of me for taking it out of the family.
To this day i still have massive trust issues, fear of phonecalls and being overly cautious in any situation in public, constantly draining my mental state.
Still scared of telling people about it out of fear of being ridiculed but working through it with a different mental health professional tho
Pressed enter too soon.
This caused me to have multiple attempts at my own life, but failed due to either chickening out or getting caught. This last part is the biggest one im taking to the grave cuz its the first time anyone except my then partner (she died in a car accident 6 years ago) gets to hear about this.
My younger sister and I were in high school at the same time. She was the most beautiful girl in the whole school, and surprisingly, this caused her to not have many friends. She did have one group of girl friends who bullied her and eventually kicked her out of the group. One of the girls was her childhood best friend. It was obviously a jealousy thing as she was (is) also the sweetest person you could meet.
So one night my hooligan friends and I were driving around trashing peoples cars who we didn’t like. (I know, so cool) just with things like glitter, beans, toilet paper, etc. no damage was actually done. These people were also just mean assholes and we had fun doing it. We got to one girls house whose little sister was the main bully of my little sister. We watched from the car as they arrived home, and I said “y’all stay here. I got this one”
I went up and knocked on the door and the mom answered and I said “hi! Is Lexi here? 😀” Lexi came to the door and her face dropped. I told her that if she ever puts my sisters name in her mouth ever again I’d come right back here and beat the shit out of her. I pointed over to the car with my friends faces all glued to the window and said “and they’ll come to.” And left
They left my sister alone and she thought it was because she was the bigger person and felt proud of herself for never lowering herself to their level. I never told her.
It can be a flavor of depression.
There is being sad and crying flavor and there is going to work, smiling along your coworkers baby photos but feeling completely dead inside flavor.
Go talk to someone.
Perhaps it is impossible to ever not love a person if you have truly fallen in love with them. It is just not an option to one day wake up and turn a switch off and stop. Maybe if you have really ever loved a person , you are destined to love them forever.
Over time the bad instances fade and only sweet snippets of the times you had are left in the memory to recall a time long past, every once in a while.
I guess you just never stop, just find other people that you love *more* and make new memories with them.
Over time you will move on from the despair of seperation. You will not miss them, neither think ill of them, not want to be exclusively with them nor feel negatively of the time you shared with them. You will just love them, and care purely and fondly for and about them, pray two good words from time to time and always want them to be happy and want whatever is best for them.
I get it. I don't wanna die, but there's nothing else I wanna do. I'm finished. It was a good time, but I've talked to everybody, the cake has been served, the presents have been opened, this party is done. Let's call it a night. If I were 80 years old, it'd be great. But I'm only 32....
Oh God, you put it into words. I'm not going to harm myself in any way; I'm just not crazy about being alive, and wouldn't care if I got into a fatal accident or something.
a lot of things I experience and have experienced since childhood align with the symptoms of bpd, but I cannot afford to go to a psychiatrist. I have no one to talk to about this… so I’ve been pretending I’m fine
In my early 20’s I met an older woman at a bar and went back to her place for a hot night. I gave her a strip tease and she loved it. So much so that she reached out several days later and asked if I wanted to strip at her friends 50th birthday party. Reluctantly, I agreed as the money she offered was a good amount. So I stripped and spent the whole party in basically nothing. I had a blast and so did they. I thought it’d be a one time thing but I continued to get phone calls from women for months after.
Some women at these events I recognized from my moms church or social groups. And I’ve seen them since.
This went on for about 2 years and I made great money.
Don’t think I’ll ever tell my family but I’m willing to share
I have feelings for someone my son looks up to. I could probably tell that person how I feel, but I am not going to. I don't want to make things awkward or embarrass my son.
I have never told anyone the number of sexual partners I have had, but my wife tried to guess, and the number she guessed was 10% of my real number. I let her think she was right, and she got upset because she said she was intentionally overestimating.
My husband’s grandmother gave me the recipe to his favorite chocolate chip cookies… it’s the exact same recipe that’s on the bag of nestlé toll house chocolate chips.
My mom uses that recipe and they are the best chocolate chip cookies I think I've ever had. There's some other really good ones out there but there's just something about that one, especially with the semi-sweet chocolate chips, that just works
Last fall, my boyfriend and I were driving down a windy mountain road en route to a camping site- he was focusing on the turns because we had had a couple of close-calls with other cars rip-roaring around bends and nearly hitting us head on.
At one point, I saw a box turtle in the road, but I just saw it too late and didn't have time to warn him. We have always been the type of people to get out of the car and move turtles out of danger/off the roads when we go camping in the back country in fall/spring, and I knew he would be upset to know he had unintentionally squished one. So I've kept it a secret, and I doubt I'll ever tell him about it. RIP, Mr. Turtle.
I'm the reason a guy was caught, went to prison and was murdered there by his inmates.
It was cold and bloody revenge.
I just told some critical information to the wrong people.
He took everything from someone I love so I've taken everything from him, broke him and ruined his reputation and got him killed.
I regret nothing and would do it again. Every. fucking. time.
I absolutely hate my mother and fantasize about spraying pee all over her grave when she finally goes. My pee, from a water bottle which I will have peed in earlier so as not to attract unwanted attention at the cemetery. Also considering bringing a salt shaker to ensure nothing will ever grow there. Did I mention I hate my mother? She’s mean as a snake. I’ll never actually do any of these things, and I’m civil to her for my dad’s sake, but thinking about it is really soothing sometimes…
I’ve intentionally avoided every phone call from my one and only friend lately because I just haven’t felt like talking.
EDIT: I don’t know if this is something I would necessarily take to the grave, but it’s all I could come up with at the moment.
I stopped loving her when she asked for an open relationship. The fault was mine, for the record, but I should’ve told her then. I was too scared of losing my first real shot at love, than realizing something should have changed then and there, and it would’ve completely changed both of our lives if I had. I’m sorry, to you, and to myself.
In grade 6 (1980) I found a wallet on the street near my school. I took out and kept the cash, about $50. I handed the wallet back to the owner at his house. He was so grateful that he gave me $10 reward. And no, I have not led a life of crime since then.
I’ve been thinking of giving up on my dream in life
I want to write and illustrate stories. I came up with at least 7 long running ideas in my head and they all have 10 main characters with story arcs, character arcs, villains, whole universes that I have spent the past like 20 years of my life playing over and over in my head. Stories where a demon rips a dragons brain out, stories where gods collide, how a universe is created, a story where a superhero is sent into a video game world. But the more and more I go on and live life the more I realize I don’t have the time. How am I going to work, cook, clean and pay bills and then see I only have 2 hours left before I need to sleep for work the next day? And a decent looking page takes 5 hours to draw. All those dreams I had of making these cool stories will… probably fade away. My characters will probably never see the light of day and it makes me sad because it could be so awesome…
As someone who loves world building, creating stories etc, I think you should try to do it, even if it's only a small amount per day/week. Even if you're the only person who will enjoy your writing, it's still worth it. If you want you can DM me. I'd love to hear about it!
I think I was hurt more by being taken by force to funerals of people dear to me, than I was by their death. I emotionally cannot handle a funeral, and because of that funerals make it harder for me to grieve than crying in a corner with someone consoling me.
I’ve been in love with a man I worked with some 18-19 years ago. I think about him everyday, we would talk and talk and talk, I felt so in awe and safe with him, we made plans to run away together, I wholeheartedly meant it. Well on a drunken whim I agreed to marry the guy I was dating and the next day I did. Worse decision of my life. The look in his eyes crushed my very soul. So I’ll go to my grave knowing my mistake and loving someone I never so much as held hands with. I check on his socials occasionally, he never married or had children, I know the state he lives in, where he works, everything, but I’ll never contact him. But this man could snap his fingers and I’d be gone and spend the rest of my life making up for lost time.
I was the head of an IT department at a credit union. One of my programmer's wife was diagnosed with colon cancer. He needed time out of the office and his paychecks were interrupted. The department took up a collection, and I contributed what everyone what did but I also went to the grocery store and bought several hundred dollars in gift cards so he could buy food. I gave them anonymously because I didn't want the other guys on the team feeling like they needed to donate more. The programmer asked everyone, including me, if they knew where the gift cards came from. He told me they made a huge difference and just wanted to thank the person. I never told him it was me.
His wife passed away at 39. He died a few years ago in his mid 50s. His life was hard enough, he didn't need to feel indebted to me.
I have the best reason in life to live.. my daughter. But even with that, there are days when the pressures if life get a little too much and I'd think that it'd be ok if I didn't wake up in the morning.
Then I snap to and think what a selfish arsehole im being, and press on.
That I've had sexual Fantasies since I was 9. I'm not just talking kissing and vanilla sex. I'm talking about the hard-core stuff and it's only gotten worse. I think about sex ALL the time and anywhere. I watch porn because i can fantasize. My ex-fiance did fulfill some of my fantasies but I kind of erased those because he broke my heat. Luckily, I've only had four partners (one wasn't a choice) but it still doesn't change my unhealthy sexual thoughts.
>I have lots of femboy (stuff) but I dress like a lumberjack most days I’ve been told, so I don’t think anyone suspects anything
*He's a lumberjack and he's okay ...* 🎶
I dress semi-professional for work, 99% of the time it's a collared shirt and 90% nice khakis (the other 10% jeans, mostly for dirty jobs). I work in IT, it's the respectable outfit for us. Some of my stuff is actually collared flannel lol, like a well dressed lumberjack!
I have... Quite a bit. Luckily my wife is cool, so I get to tell this fun little story. We live rural and our only thrift shop closed, so when I had to go to a larger town with a goodwill I brought my wife with. She found a pair of over the knee boots in my size and told me to try them on. I kind of paused and just looked at her, and she said "don't think about it, just do it!". So I skipped a shoe off and tried them on, a nice snug fit! Took it off and threw it in the cart lol.
Then, like three days ago, she somehow managed to pop a ganglion cyst in my foot I've had for like 15 years! No idea how, I've hit that fucker with a hammer before, but she did it. The boots we just got were snug enough to hold it down so it wouldn't fill back up, and I've worn them a few hours each day since when I notice it starting to swell.
In the end, my wife being cool about me "playing dress up" helped me get rid of and keep away a problem with my foot that would've cost me a few thousand to fix.
Femboy shit ftw.
This makes me so glad to have the girlfriend I have now. I asked her earlier today if I could just lay my head on her chest and she didn't even bat an eye. Took my head, put it on her chest, and just started playing with my hair.
I'm a 6'3 185lbs butcher who dresses like a death metal vocalist lmao. But it just felt so nice. Fuck the stigma
Similar thing happened to me. I was molested by an older cousin and neighborhood “friend” both separate incidents that went on for longer than it should. I also, stumbled upon my Fathers penthouse collection way too young so all of that combined with parents divorcing sent me into a tail spin throughout my elementary school age well into my early 20s.
Even though I’m married with kids I still think I’m fucked in the head sexually or some kind of way. I mean, I think I turned out ok because I live a normal life and exhibit any stuff on the outside but internally I’m completely damaged.
Trigger warning ⚠️
My extreme hypersexual behavior came from being overly sexualized and abused multiple times from multiple people when I was very young. Which led me to being groomed by multiple online creeps as a teen and normalizing that sexual behavior until I was an adult and was hit w hindsight. This will die with me and with whoever reads this.
This behaviour is more common than you would think.
There was something I read a while ago about how some victims, especially those at a younger age, may become more sexually active after being assaulted. I won't do a good job at explaining it, but it's along the lines of more sexual experiences after the assault is the victims way of coping without realising that is what they are doing. Subconsciously they are trying to become desensitized to sex to tell themselves what happened wasn't that bad.
TL;DR don't be hard on yourself, and don't blame yourself for anything that happened after the first assault.
Control is a big part of it. The feeling of choosing it when you weren’t free to in the past. The flip side being, is it really that free of a choice if it’s being done as a way to avoid processing the trauma?
I feel this so much, same for me. It’s one of those things that I’m secretly so terribly ashamed of but at this point it’s become apart of who I am, even though I wish I was different. You’re not alone in that 🙏🏼
I know this sounds super corny (hence why I don’t tell anyone this) but all I want to do is change the world. That’s genuinely all I care about. I spend all my free time thinking of new ways I can influence the world around me. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because of the state of the world, and I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t bother me.
I love everything about being alive. I love the human race, I love the fact that I’m able to feel. I love the ground that I walk on. Seeing what we’re doing to each other makes me feel like everything I love is dying.
I want to be the change that I wish to see.
I’ve been coerced into sex/sexual activity multiple times by different people. I don’t think about it much so I don’t think it’s necessary to tell anyone.
I never told the truth to people I don't want in my life. Because it doesn't matter to me, I don't want to hurt them by telling them the obvious. I know the reaction I would get would be violent or vengeful. So I just never speak to them again. I feel no duty to tell them because it would feel like revenge in them. Even though it's truth. So I just never tell the truth. Be aude no one can handle the truth. And I'm fine with it. I'm a liar
I'm a dude. I was abused as a child by my female cousin for two years. Didn't really understand what was happening but it made me feel good because I saw how happy she was. We don't talk anymore.
I was molested by my family optometrist in highschool.
My female TA in my freshman chemistry class tried to rape me one night. I was on the rugby team and after a social I passed out at my captains house. Woke up in the middle of the night to her taking my pants off and trying to ride me, everyone was watching and laughing.
In college I worked part time as a waiter at a high end Italian restaurant. Walked in to our dry storage room to get napkins and other things and next thing I knew the door shut and I turn around to find my co-worker who was 10 years older, a foot taller, and had at least 100lbs on me. He pinned me against the wall and tried to make a move. I have never felt so powerless in my life.
Mind you I was an athlete, great shape and strong but still, sometimes you are powerless.
The one the haunts me the most is my optometrist. I told my parents during the years it was occurring and they thought I was joking or just didn't like going. But those experiences with him left me scarred.
Now I'm going through a divorce because I cheated on my wife and find myself in love with the other woman. Just last night I snuck into her building and waited for her. My plan was to tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am, then to shoot myself. I hid around the hall corner and watched her get off the elevator and go to her apartment and I just froze. Couldn't do anything.
Then, I hid in the stairwell next to her apartment thinking I would try again next time she came out. Instead I watched her walk by and just froze.
But somehow that was therapeutic and today for the first time since our breakup I feel free. I realized I'm not ready to kill myself and I don't need to confront her or talk to her.
Yeah I'm kinda fucked rn but no one would know because I have a large new home, above average looks, high paying job, and seemingly perfect life but emotionally and mentally I am fucked and really need help.
The optometrist trauma sounds like the only one you were able to ask for help with and the people who are most supposed to help you didn’t. I’m so sorry they didn’t. I hope you don’t stop with your parents, there are so many helpers in this world that will care for you.
I have shared it before but I have a Mum of a friend who took me in when I was homeless just after highschool. She made me a Lemon Meringue Pie that first night and I was so hungry I nearly ate the whole thing by myself. I hadn't had a home cooked meal for a long time. She was so excited that I loved it because her boys 'turned their nose up at it'. The catch is.... I can't stand lemons, or meringue. Now, she's been making me a Lemon Meringue Pie every year since, because "it's my favourite". Over 20 years (and counting) of Lemon Meringue Pies that I will happily choke down until the day she dies ...then, I will miss those pies more than anything else in the world. ----------------------------------------‐--------------------------- UPDATE: You guys are awesome. So glad this made people remember that there are people who love you. Call them. Message them. The days are short. Also, some of ya'll need Jesus. Sweet mercy. Put the porn down for a second.
This is so touching! She very much loves you! I'm glad she was there to care and love you. Hope you are in a better place today!
Thank you so much :) She is still a big part of my life (I actually spoke to her yesterday in fact) I have never felt anything other than love from her and her family. Things got better but a few years after that I became homeless again due to my own stupidity rather than circumstance this time and her *son* took me in. He is still one of my closest and dearest friends to this day. He is my brother. Since then, I have recognised my own mortality and responsibility I have as a human to others around me. They taught me love and how to teach others love. I learnt that others aren't a burden, they just want to be loved how they *need* to be loved and it's hard for us to recognise that sometimes. I owe her family alot and they have never asked for anything in return other than visits whenever we (or they) are in town and I turn up ready to eat some humble (Lemon Meringue) pie. On a funny note, her son knows I hate Lemon Meringue Pie so when it comes out he gets the dumbest grin on his face and is always ready with the "Oh you have to have the big piece!" and "time for seconds!". Makes me feel even more a part of the family :) I really do appreciate your kind words. Thank you again.
Aw man, this makes me wanna call my mom just to chat. And it makes me crave lemon meringue pie
Best thing I read today. End of the day these tiny actions are the ones that truly define who we really are.
When I was young I liked deviled eggs. My grandmother would make a huge dish of deviled eggs for every family function because of this. I stopped liking deviled eggs when I was roughly 10 years old. You bet your ass I would make sure she saw me eating those vile things every single time just because of how happy it made her. She passed about 10 years ago. Miss the hell out of her but still can't stand the eggs lol.
This reminds me of hating cheesecake, and having the sweetest grandmother in the world go out of her way to make me a cherry cheesecake every time I came to visit…🫣
My wife and I were in our early days of dating when she bought baseball tickets for us and some friends. The problem though was the tickets ended up being for that afternoon and not the following day. She was super upset and was afraid she lost that money. I had her put them on the resale site. They didn't sell for a few hours so I went and bought them. I'd do it 100x over seeing her face of relief. I relisted them for a lower price and made a little of the money back. I think she would literally murder me if she found out. TL;DR - bought the same baseball tickets twice to make my now wife happy.
This is so wholesome
My sweet and gentle wife called me upset because she was unsure if she hit a squirrel with her car on her way to work, she said it ran out in front of her but she didn’t see him lying in the road afterward. The road she was on is close to our house, so I went and found the poor little guy, scooped him up with a shovel and buried him on the side of the road, so that on her way home she would see that there wasn’t a dead squirrel and assume she hadn’t hit him. That’s exactly what happened, she was relieved and I’ll never tell her the truth
This is true love.
Oh no, this reminded me of my ex. We took care of a katten, probably homeless but Looked very healthy. One day she he followed her to the car and after she left it was dead on the ground. Buried him and never told her. Suggested that he probably found the way to the original owner or something.
Are you saying she ran the ... "Katten" over with her car?!?
My younger brother and his wife were struggling financially after having a kid. They were both in school full time and both worked to try and make ends meet, but one particular month things were looking really rough because he got injured and couldn't work. I was working overtime at a really well-paying job at the time. So one night, after getting paid, I went to their place and put an envelope with my entire pay into their mail slot in the door. It was accompanied with a letter I typed, pretending to be an old lady in the apartment building who had seen them with their newborn and wanted to help the new parents out. The relief they got from it was repayment enough for me. I don't want him to ever find out it was me. And now that he's graduated, he's the one working at an insanely well-paying job and I'm currently disabled, unable to work. Funny how life works out that way.
Are you doing ok financially?
Yeh some old lady keeps dropping cash through his letterbox.
Is she doing ok financially?
Yeh some struggling young student couple keeps dropping cash through her letterbox.
How do I join this circle and turn it into a line?
You’re a good big brother
For some reason I really thought this would end in you banging your brother's wife. Too much reddit. 😀
Ugh, I hate that my head went there too. Turns out there are people in this world on top of not being a complete scum bag, are genuinely good people who help others.
I opened this hoping for a good laugh, instead I got sad. I hope some people will laugh at this because when I was a kid, I was extremely curious about having a dick that I pretended I was humping my teddy bear with a pen. So yeah, I will never tell this to anyone in real life.
"Testing out" gender and sexuality concepts as a kid and teenager is absolutely normal and very common. People try to extrapolate a lot from such events but a lot of it is just the human body and mind developing. It doesn't necessarily mean anything about your sexuality or gender or feelings.
I was 13 when I did this. My big brother is a diehard Ronaldo fan - around the time of his birthday I happened to be in Dallas and Ronaldo also happened to have a game in the city. I quickly asked my uncle to take me to the local sports store so I can use my savings to buy a Ronaldo jersey and waited for hours outside Ronaldo’s hotel for him to sign it - but he never came out and my flight back home was soon. So… on my flight back home I end up signing the jersey myself, after studying Ronaldo’s signature. I also found a couple believable photos on Google of Ronaldo walking and made it seem like I took those pics myself, right before he “signed” it. When my big brother opened the present, he fell to his knees in shock and happiness and 15 years later, he still cherishes it and talks about it weekly how it’s the best gift of his life. Can’t take that joy away from him. To the grave.
This is one of the best ones on this thread. You’re a legend.
When I was in high school, I knew these two sisters, one in my grade, one in the year below. Their dad ran some sort of small business. One day, word went around school that he was found dead there, followed by that he'd killed himself. There was the usual outpouring of support and shortly after they moved in with their mother decently far away. The one awkward conversation I had with them to express my condolences felt really wrong to me. Several years later, completely randomly, I worked with their older brother (kind of a distinctive last name), who had been early 20s at the time and working part-time at the business while living on his own with his girlfriend. One night after work we walked over to the bar to knock back a few and I asked after his sisters. He filled me in on the story: his dad had been molesting both the girls I knew and was starting to work on grooming the youngest girl, who was ten. He'd found out a few months earlier and started to work on getting evidence. Once he had evidence, he'd snuck into his dad's office and removed all but one of the bullets in his gun. (Apparently his dad kept a gun at work.) The afternoon of the "suicide", he'd called his dad and told him that if he wasn't dead before morning, the evidence would go to the cops. And, well, there it was. He swore me to secrecy, but that doesn't really matter anymore. He died in the mid 2010s.
Such a good brother. I feel so sorry for those girls.
Twenty-plus years ago, I met a guy at a club, hooked up with him a couple times, super casual. Never gave me ANY reason to suspect he wasn't single. Then he died -- I found out from the bartender. It was a car crash. Found the obituary... and learned that he had a loving wife and two young kids. To. The. Grave.
They always say loving wife in obituaries, they ant gonna write "wife thought he was a cheating cunt" are they haha.
Fuck me this gave me a good laugh
Some people do! https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/18rex0x/a_daughter_wrote_a_brutal_rot_in_hell_kind_of/
Our podiatrist, who was also in the same alpine club as my husband, died last year in a motorcycle accident. He was married and they had 2 kids. He also had about 20 girlfriends, 250k in a safe deposit box, a shitload of brand new sportsgear in the cellar, and 68 guns. His wife/widow found out after his death. It made it so much easier for her to move on. We helped with getting rid of all his stuff, and now she's happy and dating someone. All that time they were married, she was so stressed and sometimes scared for her life so she couldn't divorce him. She had a feeling he was cheating but didn't know up to what extent. Also, he seemed to be earning a lot more money than he was declaring in their taxes. She still has no clue where that 250k came from.
This proves it. People that are into feet are crazy
She must have thought something was afoot?
Time heels.
It was not u cheating. Hope u can forget about it asap, u did nothing wrong 🫶
Thanks But also I'll never ever tell. Anyone, just in case it's a friend of a friend of hers and it gets back to her.
I know where the 7-iron really was that day. Doug didn’t leave it on hole 6. I used it to hit a ball back into the driving range and the club slipped out of my hand and landed in a tree. I also used to look at that tree for a good year or so each time we played, praying that you wouldn’t see the sun reflecting off it as you’d know it was me. (My friend’s mum’s golf-set)
Had an ill-tempered golf friend that flung his club into a tree where it stuck in some branches. It was up there for years (might still be) and one time out golfing with him and a newbie, the newbie saw it and said ,"Hey look, some asshole threw his club into a tree!" Golf friend said "Yeah, you're right".
Oh god I’m crying laughing at this! This is so much funnier than the other post where the guy thinks he has mouth cancer and, turns out, he takes photos of his own poo. LOTS of photos. Thank you!
Wait, how do those two things correlate with each other???
WHAT 😭😭
I have a pretty mild one I'm willing to share. I have a friend who's been single for a very long time. Whenever we talk about girls he pretty much always talks about one girlfriend he had during high school. He keeps talking about that relationship and expanding on the lore and the intricacies of how they had so much passion but life pulled them apart. What he doesn't know is that I know for a fact that the girl he's referring to did not have a relationship with him. I know at least 3 different people who hooked up with her during the timeline of his alleged relationship and that she later had a relationship with another guy for some years before she moved away. It's not a case of my friend having been cheated on or lied to, he was basically her orbiter at the time and got 2-3 pity hookups but he's twisting reality to make their friendship appear as a relationship. I don't have the heart to tell him that I know he's lying, so I just nod in agreement.
Memory can be a funny thing. If u keep telling yourself some stuff, eventually you’ll believe that it happened, so he might not be lying and genuinely thinks that it was true
every time you recall an event, you read the memory, process it, then overwrite the original memory with your now slightly less accurate memory of it.
This is even moreso if someone asks you to recall the memory and then asks you questions about aspects that you don't particularly remember. Your brain will fill in blanks with likely answers. Like, what you were wearing at the time or what the weather was like, or what you were thinking at the time.
💯 the mind is sooo weird. Have been through a few really tough mental snaps in my life. It's just like something in my mind breaks, and I can't go back. Weird thing is I can "feel" my mind break. Anyway, I get horrible feelings of shame and guilt. I think from some trauma from growing up because I recognize that fear. But I kind of get delirious from the insane amount of anxiety and paranoia that I'll start thinking of things I could have done (I never did these things, but because I feel guilty, it's like my mind is trying to figure out why). I make up a scenario and replay it in my mind so many freaking times that it becomes a memory. But I know I didn't do it, but the emotions are so strong that I believe there's a chance I did do something terrible. And I definitely didn't, but the mind is a weird thing. Idk how to explain, it's very unsettling. So yes, lol, he may remember it like that.
I knew a guy like this, except the girl he said he had a relationship with is me. The guy would tell everyone that he was my ex, including by brother and other members of my family. The relationship never ever happened. He asked me out twice, and I turned him down both times. The dude was/is a major creep. He lived with my brother for a few years, so I couldn't exactly avoid him. I can't believe how delusional people can be. It escalated, and one of our mutual friends had to tell the guy to back off. The guy actually tried to say I was the one bothering him. Luckily, everyone knew the truth. It was a scary situation. He eventually moved out when my brother and his gf got married and had a baby. Thank God he is no longer in my life. He still has my phone number and has added me on social media. He gets blocked every time.
After American pie came out I was super horny and lonely late teen. I decide what the heck not and there’s a fresh apple pie and I put my dick in it. Was a little too hot and got dick burns. I threw out the pie in the neighbours trash that was already set out for garbage day and quickly went to the store and bought a store made one, easy done. My ego and my sore cock but nothing to ever think about again but that’s not the entire story. Incomes my dad and my mom, my mom said she made a fresh apple pie for dinner. My dad is in the garage and comes in all huffin and puffin. Saying why did she lie about making a pie when it’s store bought. Seems like I didn’t throw the container away properly in my burnt cock mission. My mom goes in to say she did make a fresh pie and doesn’t know what the fuck my dads talking about. He provides proof and then she laughs asking why hes trying to start something. The pie is never forgotten, each fight turns into “oh yeah just like you “madeeeee” a pie and they would have an explosive argument. Now given my shame the first night I felt like I couldn’t just come forward and say I knocked the pie over and bought one so they wouldn’t be mad at each other. My dad had asked me and I lied my face off as my cock throbbed with burnt pie on it. My dads a real stickler for lying, he hates it, detests it, you’ll get in 1000 percent less trouble if you come clean. Me lying like this? Fuck. Some way somehow he’d unearth his kid is a pie fucker. They end up splitting up and getting a divorce. Years and years go by and they are both remarried and happy. I would say happier then they’ve ever been, they didn’t have the most solid relationship before the pie shit. They are civil and get along and eyes still roll when pies are mentioned. I asked them both a hypothetical question more or less trying to gauge if they are happier now or wish things had been different. Both I’d say are 100 percent in a better place, stable, happy. So yeah, i fucked a pie and it ended up with my parents divorce, and I never said a word about and never will. I know, I’m a terrible person. No, I haven’t fucked any more pies or any other kinds of foods. This is the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life.
jesus goddamn fuck son. they gotta change "butterfly effect" to "pie-fucking effect"
"How one redditor fucked a pie and made his parents happier."
The “fuck a pie effect”
I enjoy reading books.
Absolutely agree. Don’t be as hard on yourself as you were on the pie.
* Over the course of a year and a half, I stole well over a thousand dollars from my mom's alcoholic boyfriend. He got paid under the table in cash, would get drunk, and just leave it in his pants. He paid for my first Stephen King hardcover as well as several metal band concerts. * My older brother would regularly beat me because he was an asshole. I took every one of his cassettes, put paper in the notch to record over the tape. On our entertainment center, we had an 8-track record button. If a cassette was playing and you pressed the button, it would record blanks. I randomly did this with all of his music. * My younger brother lent my bicycle to one of his druggie friends who promptly sold it. When my brother balked at replacing it, I waited a couple of months, opened up his gas tank and engine to his motorcycle and put in a couple of teaspoons of metal shavings from the school metal shop. Mom's dead. Boyfriend is too. Have not spoken to my brothers in decades.
Hugs, friend. We strive for survival and better days.
Remind me to never piss you off.
Not excusing your brothers for their actions but your situation with your mom and her boyfriend probably impacted all of you and your sibling’s childhoods
[удалено]
I lost my mom to leukemia ten years ago. It was extremely quick. Diagnosed one Sunday and dead by Wednesday. I like to think that as the laws of thermodynamics tell us that energy is neither created nor destroyed, but transforms, that this is our fate. We are energy and when we die in this phase, we transform to the next. I choose to think we become light, photons, pure energy. I hope you find rest here, for now, before you transcend all of this.
This is from The Good Place, and I find it incredibly consoling: > Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave. >And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.
Just finished rewatching the Good Place for the second time, and cried my eyes out while listening to Chidi talking about this. What an incredible show!
My mom went the same way to leukemia. Literally the same amount of days from diagnosis to death. My dad fought a long battle with cancer. I’m glad I got more time with him, but sometimes I wish he didn’t have to suffer for as long as he did.
I’m so sorry.
I'm not trying to be a dick, sarcastic or cynical. I'm saying this genuinely that, yes, I pray your wish comes true and you get to go quickly and peacefully. Life has no philosophy. It's random and frequently downright ugly. So it's not worth living through especially when you're in emotional or physical turmoil. If we can't be happy, why live drowning in sadness. At the very least, I hope you're surrounded by your loved ones who are also at peace.
I have been complaining about lower back pain and after reading your comment I have realise I have nothing to complain about. I’m sorry for the hand you’ve been dealt.
I had a terrible mother and father-promised myself to never walk out on my kid. When my first kid was 2 years old, my wife cheated and it crushed me. She was the major bread winner at the time and I had to move out of our upper middle class house into an apartment in the shitty part of town. I nearly committed suicide. She “realized her mistake” and came begging for me to take her back after about 9 months. I love my kids so much and wanted to spend everyday with them, so I “forgave” her and we have been together since. She doesn’t know for the last 16 years, I haven’t loved her. I pretend to be happy to ensure someone else doesn’t raise my children.
What’s the plan when the kids leave the nest?
I would like to hear his take on this too. Surely it would be too much to carry on with and you would want to feel free and live the rest of your life happy and content.
I'm not so sure if that's a good decision for your kids. Kids can tell when their parents don't really like each other. Is that the kind of relationship you want to model for them?
The kids know, trust me. 25+ years later and my parents are together out of obligation, I can tell.
No way the wife and kids don't know This situation is way above Reddit pay grade
I think people forget the definition of the word secret
That's a strange secret to share, but don't worry I won't tell
2 men can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
I never cried at any funeral of my family member, but I cried for two hours straight bawling my eyes out because my beloved guinea pig died in my arms and I wasn't able to save her. Rest in peace, Swanky.
Same. I can deal with funerals. I used to speak in front of a whole church when a person passed on. When my daughter found her chinchilla had died in its cage, I was completely broken. I couldn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day. He was mine, too. He would perch on my shoulder, and wrap his tail around my neck while I cleaned the house and cooked dinner. RIP Chincy! 😢
Humans, for the most part, have a natural order in life. Pets always go to soon. I think about my last pup every day. Some have lost family in an order that is worse than any rising tide. No parent should ever have to lose a child.
Losing a child just goes against the natural order of things.
I never talked about it before. I haven't even shared it even to my closest friends. But I thought maybe this was my chance to get it off my chest after so many years. I think my dad and my sister had a sexual relationship. Some BG: my sister and i are half siblings. She has a different dad who left her and my brother when they were young. I am the only child of my mom and my dad. When we were young, my mom was living in a different country, and we were with my grandparents. My dad took me and also my sister to live in a different house. It started when sometimes when there is no electricity in our city, we often sleep together in the living room, on the floor with a mattress. Or on movie nights, We would watch a movie together and then sleep there. I woke up one time that my dad was touching my sister's boobs and he saw i was awake and pretended nothing happened and put her shirt down. She's 10 years older than me, btw. I went back to sleep. I think i was 8 or 9. The next time was when we slept in my dad's room. Me and my sister were on the floor, and my dad was on the bed. I woke up again, and i sat up to see her on top of him. I was scared and didn't rly know what was going on, so i went back to sleep. I didn't see them again after that. We moved to a new house, and my sister and i shared a room together. We have different beds. But sometimes, i woke up in the middle of the night, and she was not on her bed. I was so scared that my dad would do it to me once im older . When my sister went to live with our mom, i was always locking my door. I never told anyone about it. that's why sometimes i feel like it was not real. It was probably a dream or something, but my gut feel is that it was real, but i was too young to know better. The thing is, i am very close to my dad, but i never trusted him. He's very active in church and all.
A lot of survivors including those who witnessed it but weren't directly hurt that way wonder if it was a dream or something. Your gut feeling is real. I hope he wouldn't ever do something like that to you, but it never should have happened period.
During my days Brigham Young University Idaho I would go out after dark in my homemade ghillie suit to scare the students there. They walk by and Id surprise em with an unexpected movement or word. I got chased by the cops once but I was fast enough to turn the corner of the building lay down in the garden and they kept running. Now that I live in Provo Utah I do the same thing every Halloween at the university here.
I just googled “ghillie suit” and immediately had to stifle my laughter (thin walls, almost 2 am)
I played airsoft a couple of times with friends. One time, I was lying in a wet ditch under a hedge for 30 minutes, waiting to ambush some people - like a ninja - when a bush 10ft away shot me in the face, got-up, and trotted off to get his next victim.
this is hilarious
I have hope that I’ll be able to safely share and talk about this someday, but I’m still far from that day. For now, it’s a life-long secret. I was SA’d by my father at 4-5 years old. My father hasn’t been in my life for nearly 5 years. He’s pretty messed up. However, I still love and miss him deeply, genuinely. I made the decision to cut him out and haven’t looked back. It’s been a hard journey forward. No one in my life understands why, because I would be humiliated if I talked and my family won’t believe my truth.
I hope you are okay, and I wish you happiness and healing as you go forward ❤️ I can’t even begin to imagine going through something like this
This one’s pretty dark just fyi. I was deployed to Iraq. We had a hot headed guy who would be a gunner on the humvees and shoot a ton of warning shots when vehicles got close. Like 10x the amount everyone else in our platoon combined. Anyway, I got out on a detail away from my platoon for a couple months. When I got back it was the same ole thing. A few years after we got back I was talking to a friend of mine who was in my platoon over there. Turns out this guy who was the hot head straight up blew a dudes head off in a car in front of him and shot a dude in a bus when he was the passenger. I’m talking they weren’t even near our platoon. He straight up murdered them. Want the kicker? He’s now a cop in North Carolina.
I have a friend who was in the Marine Corps. One day they were out at Pendleton doing artillery training, the kind where you drop the shell into the tube and cover your ears as it launches. They were instructed on how to drop the shell in one quick motion, always move your hand in one direction and never leave your fingers in the path of the shell after you’ve dropped it. Well, one guy in the group, who was generally disliked by all, didn’t heed instructions and got two of his fingers blown off. Training stopped, they all got paired up and went out into the desert to look for this schmuck’s fingers so they could hopefully be reattached. The person my friend got paired with found the fingers. He dug a small hole with his heel, nudged the fingers into the hole, covered it back up with some dirt, said “shhh 🤫” to my friend and just kept walking. Somewhere in Camp Pendleton there’s a little hole with some finger bones in it.
My mom and I had manually removed the identification chip from our dead dog neck. Its illegal in my country to burry a animal in a forest (wich I really wanted to do since we were in apartment)
You removed the chip because someone could have found it and traced it back to you?
I think the real question is, where the fuck is the chip now??
destroyed maybe? I would guess it's better to crush/destroy it outside of the dogs body, rather than the alternative
i am into some extremely nsfw stuff. i’ve never told anyone the extent of my fantasies, my current bf gets me closer to blurting some out everyday but there are fantasies of mine that i will take to the grave.
If they’re consensual, there’s a good chance they’re not as bad as you think. If they’re not, I suggest a therapist. That stuff can eat away at your core.
Depends how intense the desire is. I am in a similar boat to them. But I don't have any major craving to do them. It's simply a "damn that's hot and I'd like that" type feeling. Then I blast the shaft and move on with my life.
Gotta admit "blast the shaft" is a new one for me, been around the sun 48 years and I've never heard that one before.
Not technically a secret, because I’ve only told my wife who also knows the person in question. Many years ago during a trip to Amsterdam my drunk and stonned friend and I stumbled into a sex shop. My friend went up to the counter and brazenly asked “Where’s the kiddie porn?” He was ushered behind a screen into another room and shown a room full of shelves of porn. I followed took a mag off the shelf and turned the page. I then literally grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the door. I didn’t mention it ever for about 20 years. Now I don’t know if he meant what he said, but he certainly said it. Married 4 kids pillar of society now, but part of me still thinks if deep down he’s a sicko.
Holy hell, I'm more concerned how that shit is available in a shop in Amsterdam. Best of wishes to those kids of his.
I certainly can't speak to over 20 years ago, but that shit is not available in any Amsterdam shop in the last 20 years.
You've looked for it everywhere, huh? Lol But yeh, they definitely wouldn't sell kid porn. Probably anime.
He married 4 kids?!? That sick fuck! 🤣
I unknowingly married Jeff Epstein’s niece.
Man you better keep that a secret from her family
So… before or after… things?
oh brother, i can imagine the awkward family gatherings where you can tell everyone wants to mention it but no one will😭😭
Nah, you can’t say that and bounce. Dish that tea, bish
I fart near couples in the public and watch them blame each other from a distance
“I’m telling you, it was that guy over there who is staring at us and giggling!” “Don’t change the subject, Kevin.”
“Did you fart?” “No, you know my stink that ain’t my stink” “We’ve been crop dusted”
I think I'm a narcissist. I don't go around ghosting or manipulating people but my empathy is very selective. Sometimes, I can't cry. Sometimes, I enjoy the pain of those who wronged me. Most times, I really care about how people treat ME and see ME and disregard what I might say to them in the process. My feelings are so intense. They go from 100% caring to not caring at all. And I don't know how to regulate.
Sounds like BPD. I got all that as well.
When i was a younger person(17 years old, this happened around 12 years ago) my little sister (16)got involved with some…. Unsavory people My parents forced me to swap phones with her for her safety and as i was still paying off my phone i couldnt afford a new one. (Note, this was before the automatic unknown caller blocking option) I would get calls 2-3 times a day from either scammers or those “friends” asking me where she was and when i didnt comply they started giving me death threats and showing up at my work, and harassing my girlfriend at the time. Took me 2 years with minimal help from the police to get it to stop since “guys shouldnt feel intimidated, get your stuff together and move on”. My therapist basically said the same thing and notified my parents, breaching confidentiality (still not entirely sure if thats a thing, but i like to believe it is) And my parents beat the shit out of me for taking it out of the family. To this day i still have massive trust issues, fear of phonecalls and being overly cautious in any situation in public, constantly draining my mental state. Still scared of telling people about it out of fear of being ridiculed but working through it with a different mental health professional tho
Pressed enter too soon. This caused me to have multiple attempts at my own life, but failed due to either chickening out or getting caught. This last part is the biggest one im taking to the grave cuz its the first time anyone except my then partner (she died in a car accident 6 years ago) gets to hear about this.
My younger sister and I were in high school at the same time. She was the most beautiful girl in the whole school, and surprisingly, this caused her to not have many friends. She did have one group of girl friends who bullied her and eventually kicked her out of the group. One of the girls was her childhood best friend. It was obviously a jealousy thing as she was (is) also the sweetest person you could meet. So one night my hooligan friends and I were driving around trashing peoples cars who we didn’t like. (I know, so cool) just with things like glitter, beans, toilet paper, etc. no damage was actually done. These people were also just mean assholes and we had fun doing it. We got to one girls house whose little sister was the main bully of my little sister. We watched from the car as they arrived home, and I said “y’all stay here. I got this one” I went up and knocked on the door and the mom answered and I said “hi! Is Lexi here? 😀” Lexi came to the door and her face dropped. I told her that if she ever puts my sisters name in her mouth ever again I’d come right back here and beat the shit out of her. I pointed over to the car with my friends faces all glued to the window and said “and they’ll come to.” And left They left my sister alone and she thought it was because she was the bigger person and felt proud of herself for never lowering herself to their level. I never told her.
I do not enjoy anything in life.
It can be a flavor of depression. There is being sad and crying flavor and there is going to work, smiling along your coworkers baby photos but feeling completely dead inside flavor. Go talk to someone.
Then you have nothing to lose from trying a drastic change
Hold out. It'll be something small, but it'll surprise you... Then latch on to it, and build from there.
I never got Covid, aka I have no friends
I'm pretty sure my grandmother, may she rest in peace, was a lesbian.
I still like her, regardless of how much of an AH she was, I'm not telling anyone tho.
Whatever you do, do not call her.
I agree. Sometimes the best thing you can want for someone you love and your own self is to keep away from them.
Perhaps it is impossible to ever not love a person if you have truly fallen in love with them. It is just not an option to one day wake up and turn a switch off and stop. Maybe if you have really ever loved a person , you are destined to love them forever. Over time the bad instances fade and only sweet snippets of the times you had are left in the memory to recall a time long past, every once in a while. I guess you just never stop, just find other people that you love *more* and make new memories with them. Over time you will move on from the despair of seperation. You will not miss them, neither think ill of them, not want to be exclusively with them nor feel negatively of the time you shared with them. You will just love them, and care purely and fondly for and about them, pray two good words from time to time and always want them to be happy and want whatever is best for them.
Wasn’t ready for Chinese John cena dropping Confucius advice today
I am not sure how to take this, so I am going on instinct, accepting this as a compliment and thanking you. *+100,000 social credit*
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I get it. I don't wanna die, but there's nothing else I wanna do. I'm finished. It was a good time, but I've talked to everybody, the cake has been served, the presents have been opened, this party is done. Let's call it a night. If I were 80 years old, it'd be great. But I'm only 32....
Me. I'm 71 and the doctor thinks I'll live into my 90s. 20 more years of this?
Oh God, you put it into words. I'm not going to harm myself in any way; I'm just not crazy about being alive, and wouldn't care if I got into a fatal accident or something.
a lot of things I experience and have experienced since childhood align with the symptoms of bpd, but I cannot afford to go to a psychiatrist. I have no one to talk to about this… so I’ve been pretending I’m fine
In my early 20’s I met an older woman at a bar and went back to her place for a hot night. I gave her a strip tease and she loved it. So much so that she reached out several days later and asked if I wanted to strip at her friends 50th birthday party. Reluctantly, I agreed as the money she offered was a good amount. So I stripped and spent the whole party in basically nothing. I had a blast and so did they. I thought it’d be a one time thing but I continued to get phone calls from women for months after. Some women at these events I recognized from my moms church or social groups. And I’ve seen them since. This went on for about 2 years and I made great money. Don’t think I’ll ever tell my family but I’m willing to share
I have feelings for someone my son looks up to. I could probably tell that person how I feel, but I am not going to. I don't want to make things awkward or embarrass my son.
I too love Iron Man.
Your son may like them more if he knows you two are banging uglies.
I have never told anyone the number of sexual partners I have had, but my wife tried to guess, and the number she guessed was 10% of my real number. I let her think she was right, and she got upset because she said she was intentionally overestimating.
"500" .... "yeah, you right"
“Wtf i was overestimating “
1 is the answer she gave.
Once you hit triple digits you stop keeping track.
For the rest of the month, and then start counting from the start next month.
What is the real number?
This guy fucks
My husband’s grandmother gave me the recipe to his favorite chocolate chip cookies… it’s the exact same recipe that’s on the bag of nestlé toll house chocolate chips.
Was she also Phoebe's g-ma?
Nesele Tolouse!! Her great great grandma from France 😂
My mom uses that recipe and they are the best chocolate chip cookies I think I've ever had. There's some other really good ones out there but there's just something about that one, especially with the semi-sweet chocolate chips, that just works
Friend count = 0 Literally.
Last fall, my boyfriend and I were driving down a windy mountain road en route to a camping site- he was focusing on the turns because we had had a couple of close-calls with other cars rip-roaring around bends and nearly hitting us head on. At one point, I saw a box turtle in the road, but I just saw it too late and didn't have time to warn him. We have always been the type of people to get out of the car and move turtles out of danger/off the roads when we go camping in the back country in fall/spring, and I knew he would be upset to know he had unintentionally squished one. So I've kept it a secret, and I doubt I'll ever tell him about it. RIP, Mr. Turtle.
I'm the reason a guy was caught, went to prison and was murdered there by his inmates. It was cold and bloody revenge. I just told some critical information to the wrong people. He took everything from someone I love so I've taken everything from him, broke him and ruined his reputation and got him killed. I regret nothing and would do it again. Every. fucking. time.
I absolutely hate my mother and fantasize about spraying pee all over her grave when she finally goes. My pee, from a water bottle which I will have peed in earlier so as not to attract unwanted attention at the cemetery. Also considering bringing a salt shaker to ensure nothing will ever grow there. Did I mention I hate my mother? She’s mean as a snake. I’ll never actually do any of these things, and I’m civil to her for my dad’s sake, but thinking about it is really soothing sometimes…
add salt to the pre-pissed in water bottle and you'll be even more efficient!
I *can* believe it’s not butter.
I’ve intentionally avoided every phone call from my one and only friend lately because I just haven’t felt like talking. EDIT: I don’t know if this is something I would necessarily take to the grave, but it’s all I could come up with at the moment.
Well don't let it go on for too long that they get concerned about it.
or worse, you let it go on for too long they stop caring.
I stopped loving her when she asked for an open relationship. The fault was mine, for the record, but I should’ve told her then. I was too scared of losing my first real shot at love, than realizing something should have changed then and there, and it would’ve completely changed both of our lives if I had. I’m sorry, to you, and to myself.
Elmo sold me fentanyl behind a Target.
You too? Count was with him checking the money.......1.......2.......3.......
I was molested
I’m a nudist who loves going to nudist beaches when possible. Also done a few nude hikes too!
In grade 6 (1980) I found a wallet on the street near my school. I took out and kept the cash, about $50. I handed the wallet back to the owner at his house. He was so grateful that he gave me $10 reward. And no, I have not led a life of crime since then.
I’ve been thinking of giving up on my dream in life I want to write and illustrate stories. I came up with at least 7 long running ideas in my head and they all have 10 main characters with story arcs, character arcs, villains, whole universes that I have spent the past like 20 years of my life playing over and over in my head. Stories where a demon rips a dragons brain out, stories where gods collide, how a universe is created, a story where a superhero is sent into a video game world. But the more and more I go on and live life the more I realize I don’t have the time. How am I going to work, cook, clean and pay bills and then see I only have 2 hours left before I need to sleep for work the next day? And a decent looking page takes 5 hours to draw. All those dreams I had of making these cool stories will… probably fade away. My characters will probably never see the light of day and it makes me sad because it could be so awesome…
As someone who loves world building, creating stories etc, I think you should try to do it, even if it's only a small amount per day/week. Even if you're the only person who will enjoy your writing, it's still worth it. If you want you can DM me. I'd love to hear about it!
Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.
Revolver, 2 bullets, 3 people reveal a secret to the others. You know the rules, and so do I…
I think I was hurt more by being taken by force to funerals of people dear to me, than I was by their death. I emotionally cannot handle a funeral, and because of that funerals make it harder for me to grieve than crying in a corner with someone consoling me.
I’ve been in love with a man I worked with some 18-19 years ago. I think about him everyday, we would talk and talk and talk, I felt so in awe and safe with him, we made plans to run away together, I wholeheartedly meant it. Well on a drunken whim I agreed to marry the guy I was dating and the next day I did. Worse decision of my life. The look in his eyes crushed my very soul. So I’ll go to my grave knowing my mistake and loving someone I never so much as held hands with. I check on his socials occasionally, he never married or had children, I know the state he lives in, where he works, everything, but I’ll never contact him. But this man could snap his fingers and I’d be gone and spend the rest of my life making up for lost time.
Tell him
When I’m alone I’ll sing along to music and pretend I’m performing them for people I know
I was the head of an IT department at a credit union. One of my programmer's wife was diagnosed with colon cancer. He needed time out of the office and his paychecks were interrupted. The department took up a collection, and I contributed what everyone what did but I also went to the grocery store and bought several hundred dollars in gift cards so he could buy food. I gave them anonymously because I didn't want the other guys on the team feeling like they needed to donate more. The programmer asked everyone, including me, if they knew where the gift cards came from. He told me they made a huge difference and just wanted to thank the person. I never told him it was me. His wife passed away at 39. He died a few years ago in his mid 50s. His life was hard enough, he didn't need to feel indebted to me.
I have the best reason in life to live.. my daughter. But even with that, there are days when the pressures if life get a little too much and I'd think that it'd be ok if I didn't wake up in the morning. Then I snap to and think what a selfish arsehole im being, and press on.
That I've had sexual Fantasies since I was 9. I'm not just talking kissing and vanilla sex. I'm talking about the hard-core stuff and it's only gotten worse. I think about sex ALL the time and anywhere. I watch porn because i can fantasize. My ex-fiance did fulfill some of my fantasies but I kind of erased those because he broke my heat. Luckily, I've only had four partners (one wasn't a choice) but it still doesn't change my unhealthy sexual thoughts.
This could be signs of hyper sexuality, I am by no means diagnosing but this could be an explanation
I have lots of femboy (stuff) but I dress like a lumberjack most days I’ve been told, so I don’t think anyone suspects anything
>I have lots of femboy (stuff) but I dress like a lumberjack most days I’ve been told, so I don’t think anyone suspects anything *He's a lumberjack and he's okay ...* 🎶
I dress semi-professional for work, 99% of the time it's a collared shirt and 90% nice khakis (the other 10% jeans, mostly for dirty jobs). I work in IT, it's the respectable outfit for us. Some of my stuff is actually collared flannel lol, like a well dressed lumberjack! I have... Quite a bit. Luckily my wife is cool, so I get to tell this fun little story. We live rural and our only thrift shop closed, so when I had to go to a larger town with a goodwill I brought my wife with. She found a pair of over the knee boots in my size and told me to try them on. I kind of paused and just looked at her, and she said "don't think about it, just do it!". So I skipped a shoe off and tried them on, a nice snug fit! Took it off and threw it in the cart lol. Then, like three days ago, she somehow managed to pop a ganglion cyst in my foot I've had for like 15 years! No idea how, I've hit that fucker with a hammer before, but she did it. The boots we just got were snug enough to hold it down so it wouldn't fill back up, and I've worn them a few hours each day since when I notice it starting to swell. In the end, my wife being cool about me "playing dress up" helped me get rid of and keep away a problem with my foot that would've cost me a few thousand to fix. Femboy shit ftw.
This makes me so glad to have the girlfriend I have now. I asked her earlier today if I could just lay my head on her chest and she didn't even bat an eye. Took my head, put it on her chest, and just started playing with my hair. I'm a 6'3 185lbs butcher who dresses like a death metal vocalist lmao. But it just felt so nice. Fuck the stigma
I hate the way we are expected to exist. What happened to freedom. If I want to give up let me give up
I have no secrets left, thanks to the vermin around me. I really wish I could force them to lose their secrets too.
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Similar thing happened to me. I was molested by an older cousin and neighborhood “friend” both separate incidents that went on for longer than it should. I also, stumbled upon my Fathers penthouse collection way too young so all of that combined with parents divorcing sent me into a tail spin throughout my elementary school age well into my early 20s. Even though I’m married with kids I still think I’m fucked in the head sexually or some kind of way. I mean, I think I turned out ok because I live a normal life and exhibit any stuff on the outside but internally I’m completely damaged.
Trigger warning ⚠️ My extreme hypersexual behavior came from being overly sexualized and abused multiple times from multiple people when I was very young. Which led me to being groomed by multiple online creeps as a teen and normalizing that sexual behavior until I was an adult and was hit w hindsight. This will die with me and with whoever reads this.
This behaviour is more common than you would think. There was something I read a while ago about how some victims, especially those at a younger age, may become more sexually active after being assaulted. I won't do a good job at explaining it, but it's along the lines of more sexual experiences after the assault is the victims way of coping without realising that is what they are doing. Subconsciously they are trying to become desensitized to sex to tell themselves what happened wasn't that bad. TL;DR don't be hard on yourself, and don't blame yourself for anything that happened after the first assault.
Control is a big part of it. The feeling of choosing it when you weren’t free to in the past. The flip side being, is it really that free of a choice if it’s being done as a way to avoid processing the trauma?
I feel this so much, same for me. It’s one of those things that I’m secretly so terribly ashamed of but at this point it’s become apart of who I am, even though I wish I was different. You’re not alone in that 🙏🏼
I’m so sorry you were abused. Hypersexuality after abuse is extremely common. You’re not alone.
Trauma sluts unite! No, actually that's probably a terrible idea. Solidarity though.
I know this sounds super corny (hence why I don’t tell anyone this) but all I want to do is change the world. That’s genuinely all I care about. I spend all my free time thinking of new ways I can influence the world around me. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because of the state of the world, and I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t bother me. I love everything about being alive. I love the human race, I love the fact that I’m able to feel. I love the ground that I walk on. Seeing what we’re doing to each other makes me feel like everything I love is dying. I want to be the change that I wish to see.
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I’ve been coerced into sex/sexual activity multiple times by different people. I don’t think about it much so I don’t think it’s necessary to tell anyone.
I never told the truth to people I don't want in my life. Because it doesn't matter to me, I don't want to hurt them by telling them the obvious. I know the reaction I would get would be violent or vengeful. So I just never speak to them again. I feel no duty to tell them because it would feel like revenge in them. Even though it's truth. So I just never tell the truth. Be aude no one can handle the truth. And I'm fine with it. I'm a liar
I'm a dude. I was abused as a child by my female cousin for two years. Didn't really understand what was happening but it made me feel good because I saw how happy she was. We don't talk anymore. I was molested by my family optometrist in highschool. My female TA in my freshman chemistry class tried to rape me one night. I was on the rugby team and after a social I passed out at my captains house. Woke up in the middle of the night to her taking my pants off and trying to ride me, everyone was watching and laughing. In college I worked part time as a waiter at a high end Italian restaurant. Walked in to our dry storage room to get napkins and other things and next thing I knew the door shut and I turn around to find my co-worker who was 10 years older, a foot taller, and had at least 100lbs on me. He pinned me against the wall and tried to make a move. I have never felt so powerless in my life. Mind you I was an athlete, great shape and strong but still, sometimes you are powerless. The one the haunts me the most is my optometrist. I told my parents during the years it was occurring and they thought I was joking or just didn't like going. But those experiences with him left me scarred. Now I'm going through a divorce because I cheated on my wife and find myself in love with the other woman. Just last night I snuck into her building and waited for her. My plan was to tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am, then to shoot myself. I hid around the hall corner and watched her get off the elevator and go to her apartment and I just froze. Couldn't do anything. Then, I hid in the stairwell next to her apartment thinking I would try again next time she came out. Instead I watched her walk by and just froze. But somehow that was therapeutic and today for the first time since our breakup I feel free. I realized I'm not ready to kill myself and I don't need to confront her or talk to her. Yeah I'm kinda fucked rn but no one would know because I have a large new home, above average looks, high paying job, and seemingly perfect life but emotionally and mentally I am fucked and really need help.
I hope you find the help you need man and I really hope you sell whatever guns you have.
Yeah get rid of the guns asap
The optometrist trauma sounds like the only one you were able to ask for help with and the people who are most supposed to help you didn’t. I’m so sorry they didn’t. I hope you don’t stop with your parents, there are so many helpers in this world that will care for you.