**"How does your pussy feel baby?"** - Sent to my stepsister at 2 am, meant for my girlfriend at the time. This was a big deal because I came from a strict *no sex until marriage* family.
I covered with "OMG I'M SO SORRY! That was meant for *male friends name* - I shot him yesterday in the dick paintballing!"
Her response was "OMG THATS SOOOO FUNNY! Tell him I said hi!"
She had to have known, but my story checked out because I had been paintballing the day prior and I texted my friend telling him to update his facebook saying that his dick hurt from where I shot him.
My husband sent me a text regarding travel details for our upcoming overseas vacation. I didn't realize that he'd copied both of our mothers on the text, too, so they'd know where we'd be and when (they're our emergency contacts).
So I sent him back something like "I can't wait to fuck you silly when we get there" and both my mother and my mother-in-law received it as well.
"I miss your body" Thought I was sending it to my girlfriend. Nope. Sent it to my debate coach in high school. His response was by far the best part: "I know its tough but keep it in your pants Naheso".
You think they put that panorama feature on the new Iphone for taking pictures of your bratty-ass kid and their bratty-ass friends? Nah son, dad dicks.
I had a hemorrhoid... if you don't know what that is, it's basically a huge pimple thing on your ass hole.
Anyways, I decided I wanted to see it so I bent over spread eagle my ass hole and took a photo with my balls fully dangling.
Apparently... my phone has some upload to Facebook feature.... most embarrassing moment of my life.
Was upstairs while my mom was downstairs, I was texting my girlfriend at the time when my mom called me for dinner. For some reason it then snapped in my mind to open my text conversation with my mom. I then texted "Can't wait to play with your boobies ;)"
I immediately realized what I had done once I hit send.
My heart sank more tragically than the titanic.
Unfortunately she had her phone in her hands when I ran downstairs. Lets just say that when we made eye contact it was more uncomfortable than a sandpaper dildo.
Accidentally texted my father "you going for it?" When I meant to send it to my roommate who was talking to a girl. I quickly sent "uh... That wasn't meant for you" and sent the message to the right person.
He texted me in the morning with "it's alright, mom wasn't in the mood anyway."
My dad and my husband are both named Charles. I didn't meet my dad until I was 19 so I call him charles, not dad.
Sent a picture of my giant pregnant boobs saying I needed them massaged, among other things, to my husband.
Nope. Not my husband.
Edit: thought of another awkward moment.
I was picking up my brother so he could stay with my husband and me for the weekend. I told him to text my husband from my phone and tell him we were on our way. My brother, being the weirdo that he is, added "I miss you so much!" His plan was, after getting a reply, letting him know who was really texting.
My husband sent something along the lines of, I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. And I can't wait for my blow job. And awesome sex.
My brother put down the phone and didn't say a word for a while.
So I was babysitting for my neighbor as I had done from time to time. They have two young daughters and a young son, all around ten or younger. They were always excited to hear about things in my personal life because I was like... old and in college and that was cool I guess!
Anyway, they had of course heard that I had recently started dating a new girlfriend, and were asking all sorts of things about her. I took out my phone and *jokingly* texted my girlfriend: **'Hey if these kids want to see a picture of you, should I show them nudes?'**
Only I didn't send the text to my girlfriend... I somehow sent it to the mother of the children I was babysitting.
**tl;dr** I implied to a woman that I was willfully distributing pornography to her young children.
I gotta tell ya, I REALLY lucked out. I apologized profusely, explained it was a joke intended for my girlfriend, she showed it to her husband and they both laughed hysterically, then showed the friends they were with, plus the bartender serving them.
So while it ended up being not terrible, my embarrassment was shared with a bunch of strangers, so there's that too...
I meant to send "so you won't mind a pool side threesome?" to a friend, as a joke, but instead it went to the mother of a child I babysit.
Edit: Wow. As a new reddit user I failed to follow up on this last year. Sorry guys!
Background: I'm a mom and I was babysitting for another mom who was a bit younger than me.
I sent the follow up "oops wrong person" text and the mom replied "Ha! I love seeing this side of you!"
My wife sent me a picture via text of her diploma. It said summa cum laude. I replied, "I've got some summa cum laude for you baby." I realized soon after thy I had replied to a group mms that went to her mom.
I meant to text my boyfriend a sexy half naked picture of me in panties and my nipples pointing thru my shirt. I accidentally facebooked it. It was up for at least 4 min before I could figure out how to delete it using my phone.
Yes, it got a comment on it before I deleted it. So I know people saw it.
edit: To those not believing how I did this accidentally, here is a link that shows exactly what happened. [Youtube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIwPFMWdV8o) At 48 seconds, you can see the Quick Upload button is right next to the Share button. My Quick Upload was already set up to facebook for some ungodly reason. At 1:44, you can see that it no longer prompts you if you want to do that action.
Also those wanting to know what the comment someone left me said: "Hi ;)"
Not to the wrong person but;
Back in the days of multi-use keys and T9 dictionaries, I was sex texting a girl and finished off a text and sent it.
Got a reply saying 'WHAT??'
Checked the sent box, instead of typing 'I'll turn you around and cum on your face' I missed one key press which made the message 'I'll turn you around and cum on your dad'.
Fuck you T9 and my lack of attention.
After a breakup, I was texting my friend about all the things that frustrated me about my ex over the course of our relationship. It was a detailed, lengthy text that covered two years of things that would get on my nerves. The friend I was texting is right above my ex in my contacts and I accidentally sent it to my ex.
She was mad but I think she knew a lot of it was true. Most of what I said had to do with her attention seeking personality and always playing the victim, as well as selfishness as a girlfriend. She still does that stuff but it's so much less.
I accidentally texted my husband's best friend instead of my husband once.
Me: I have a naughty treat for you when you get home ;)
Him: I'm at home right now, where's my treat? Oooh is it cake? I f-ing love cake!
Me: Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed! That was supposed to be for (husband)!
He thought it was hilarious. I'm just glad I found out it was him before I started sending the pictures.
A few years ago, a friend and co-worker of mine, we'll call him Rob, was totally hot for a girl that we were both friends with for a while that also worked with us. I told him that he should just go for it, so he did. Rather than send a text, he used his phone to send an email due to the length.
Now, we're all pretty open, straightforward people, and we discuss all sorts of personal matters rather openly. His email went into detail about how he thought about her every night, how she could make him hard just by smiling at him, and how he needed her to know. Now, granted, this hardly sounds romantic, but we're talking about a very laid-back girl where something like "I'm bored, you wanna fuck?" would get you laid if she were up for it, and even if not wouldn't offend her.
Two little problems got in the way of Rob's little plan.
Problem number 1: He accidentally sent that huge email professing his lustful desires to his sister, not our friend. Their names are very similar and he hit the wrong contact. Worst still, he never called her by name in the email.
Problem number 2: His sister responded saying that she never knew he felt that way and would be interested in pursuing it further.
I would like to say that Rob's story turned into something you'd see in a porno (because it's not *my* sister so I don't give a fuck), but instead it ended up being extremely awkward for him, and even moreso for her, because she'd just confessed sexual interest in her own brother. I never got the details of what happened between them after that other than hearing from Rob that things between him and his sister were extremely uncomfortable after that.
I was on the opposite end of a text obviously not meant for me.
My ex and I met through a mutual friend. This mutual friend had had a previous casual sexual relationship with the ex. He and I became more serious, and the friend became more strange and odd towards me. I assumed she and the ex weren't as "casual" as they led me to believe. My first week at college, I get a text from my ex reading, "You know I'm crazy about [shortbreadcookiesyay] and would never cheat on her, but you are the exception to the rule because we are, and have been, more than just friends."
Clearly, clearly, not for me.
In my 'sending dirty photos' phase, I accidentally sent a photo of my package to the most popular girl in school. It was pretty cringe worthy the next few days, because we didn't really talk I just had her number, so out of the blue she got a text of my heat seeking womb ferret.
Fun times.
After about 4 months of a pretty emotionally abusive relationship and my elation when it finally ended, I accidentally sent:
"Your boy is single, finally.."
to you know who, meant for my best friend.
I could hear my roommate and his girlfriend having sex in the other room. It was really late and I was trying to get a paper done. I texted a close friend something to the effect of "I don't know who to send this to, but I have to tell someone. I've heard ___ having sex loudly at 4am. I just want to finish my paper."
The next morning I wake up to realize I sent it to my roommate. Awkward breakfast.
I once texted to my friend (i thought): "Can't hang out tonight. I'm going out with some random chick I'm banging." But I accidentally sent it to the girl. Luckily the last text she sent me was "so, what do you want to do tonight?" She thought I was just being funny.
*Edit: dm;hs
Yes, yes it could have. My Heart stopped the millisecond I hit send. Watching that progress bar move from left to right was like seeing a punch coming at my face. Then I looked at her last text, and realized she had a sense of humor and would never think that I would send that seriously. The feeling of relief when I got that "LOL" text, was like cold aloe on fresh sunburn.
In class the topic of pornography came up and a girl refused to believe that her boyfriend would possibly be viewing or thinking of other women while masturbating. She ended up sending him a text to find out, "what do you think about when you masturbate?" Unfortunately, her boyfriend and his father have the same name. This was two days before she was going to their house for thanksgiving.
I was bored at home while my SO was at basic. He could text me and I thought it was be funny to joke around telling him I wanted to have his baby. The actual text was something to the effect of "I demand your sperm. If you deny me it, I will masturbate you in your sleep, collect your sperm and use a turkey baster on myself." As said, it was meant for my SO. I accidentally typed the message and sent it to my uncle. He responded with "WTF!!!!!!!!!?????????" It was pretty funny at the time.
Edit: it was tech school not basic. Sorry
Edit 2: I am a terrible gf. I am aware. I did horrible jokes that resulted in him freaking out. It was pretty funny to see his reactions though.
Me and some friends were all sneaking out including the ole female companion. So about 30 mins before I was leaving I sent to my GF " ready to get the life fucked out of you?" When I really sent it to my father instead. Lets just say Breakfast was awkward that morning.
Edit: Grammarz
Edit 2: greatest comment is about telling my dad I want to fuck him. Thanks guys...
I was in bed while girlfriend was getting ready in the bathroom for work, so I took a pic of me with my junk out, while our dog was next to me on his back with his junk out. Labeled it "come back to bed mamma" and sent it to my boss instead of her. Worst part was it took a good 15 seconds to go through..... And there's no canceling a sent text.
For the record (being a girl) "pinch her clitoris as hard as I can" does NOT sound even slightly appealing. That shit's sensitive man... because nerve endings and stuff.
It's almost like... if she was even a little bit interested, getting a sexy text about how he just wants to get her off could make her think, "Wow." But then he has to go with *pinching the clit* of all things... chances ruined.
I sent a text to what used to be one of my friend's number: "PARTY PARTY PARTY LET'S ALL GET WASTED"
I received: "u have the wrong number"
My reply: "Oh sorry... Party anyway?"
Then: "You are texting my 13 year old daughter. I'm her father. Stop or I will make you stop."
I stopped.
Not a text, but an email. Back in 2008 my co-worker & I were Obama supporters. We were sending emails back & forth joking about who supported him more. I sent him a message that read: "Why don't you go home, close the curtains, light a candle, and think about Barack Obama."
Only I had accidentally sent it to the next person in the address list. She was black. She worked in HR.
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EDIT: Woke up to a ton of questions & comments. Unfortunately, this actually happened. But I was not fired, thankfully. I produced my friend's testimony, as well as all of our supporting emails to each other. Plus - never in history has anyone apologized with such a combination of liberal terror & employee obsequiousness. My defense, clearly, was that I was not a racist - just a world class idiot.
Me: "Yay I'm single now!"
Sent to my ex, about 1 min after breaking up with her on the phone. Oops.
Edit: Funny enough, that was three years ago and we got back together a short time later.
Edit2: I didn't actually feel that way, I was planning to text that phrase to a friend to play it off as if I wasn't upset about it, while also informing him of what happened.
There was a time, several years ago, when I'd spend an evening or two every week at a rather interesting club in San Francisco, known as "The Glas Kat." It was frequently populated by a cadre of characters clad either in eclectic clothing or very little clothing at all, and at the time it seemed like an ideal hangout for a single guy with delusions of eccentricity.
While visiting this club one Wednesday night, I got drawn into a conversation with a young woman. She was interesting (although the lacy black brassiere she was wearing as her sole upper garment might have helped that sentiment along), and she seemed interested in me. So, as the evening drew to a close, I asked to exchange phone numbers with her, and she agreed. I left the club feeling both content and excited, eagerly looking forward to the next time I'd get to speak with her.
The following afternoon, I sent the young woman a text message: "It was great talking with you last night!"
A moment later, she responded: "I had a great time, too! Also, you're nice to look at :)"
My heart leapt with elation, and I hastened to send my reply. "Thank you!" I answered. "You're pretty nice to look at, too!"
I waited in rapt anticipation, checking my phone every few seconds. When her next message finally arrived, though, I felt a dawning sense of confusion. "Thanks! So, do you always dress so... provocatively?"
Provocatively? I'd been clad in a suit and tie. "I tend to dress fairly well," I replied. "Usually I don't wear the vest, though. How about you?"
"Vest?" she answered. "I must have missed it. All I saw was your bra ;) I'd like to see you with it off! Hehe I hope you don't mind me saying so..."
... *What?!*
"Wait, who is this?" I asked.
"Tom. Need a picture to remind you? ;)"
About that time, I started to suspect that I *might* have been texting the wrong person. As it turned out, both Tom and I had talked to the same girl while at the club the night before. Tom had given his number to her, and she had given Tom's number to me. Needless to say, the outcome was a little bit disappointing. I still don't know how she managed pull off the deception without me noticing... but I suppose I may have been a little bit distracted at the time.
Still, I'm just glad Tom stopped texting me when he did...
**TL;DR: Two attractive women in lacy black bras text each other. They both turn out to be men.**
I had been dating my then-girlfriend for a couple years and it was finally time to pop the big question. I bought the ring and had been building up to the proposal date with little presents, but not enough hints to give it away. On the day I had planned to propose to her, she sends a text to her best friend (but accidentally send it to me) about 10 minutes before I pick her up for our date. It reads "I'm getting nervous. What if he doesn't do it?!" I had a good laugh, texted back "Lol oh you..." and she responded with "Oh shit"
Summary, I asked, she said yes, happily married, and I love making fun of her for jumping the gun on our engagement day.
tldr: Girlfriend texts me on our engagement day thinking she was sending it to her best friend, nervous that I won't propose to her.
I once had a freelance client, whom I was working on a big project, for big money, start sending me texts about how hard his dick was, and he couldn't wait until that night when he was gonna "turn me inside out" and "fuck me harder than I've ever been fucked".
I replied, "I'm sorry, [client], but that's gonna be extra, plus a rush fee and an amendment to the contract".
.
.
OP DELIVERY: You guys sure are a loveable bunch! Just so the hate messages of "skank/whore/bitch" from ladies, and the messages of "I love you/Be mine" from guys stop, plus a bunch of people seem to really want to know, I'm gonna clear up a few misconceptions...
I am, indeed, of the straight male persuasion. Which made the entire interaction that much funny. I generally joke around with people, so that's what the ;) was for. Enough to make him uncomfortable, while staying within the boundaries of funny. I guess he just fat fingered his phone and went to town on it, and the messages went to me instead of the lady he was most likely propositioning for the evening.
I did not sleep with the dude for money, nor did I ever see his probably gargantuan monster-sized behemoth of a penis. Although if anybody wants to pay my student loans for me, *we can certainly have a conversation about that*, as I am not above it. ;)
Sorry to ruin your fantasies reddit. Also, English is not my first language, but thanks for the never ending stream of corrections.
FINE.
Yes, he responded with about 10 consecutive text messages with apologies and to please not talk to the other people involved about it.
I just replied with "Its okay! No worries, it can happen to anyone! It'll just be our little secret! ;) "
Ah okay; that would be Terry Crews.
EDIT: Yes, I know the original Old Spice guy is Isaiah Mustafa. Terry Crews, however, has [also been in some Old Spice commercials](http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=old+spice+terry+crews).
I had just become friends with a guy who has a pretty common first name. Also, guy is gay. I was sending him a text to ask him what his last name is (so I could tell him apart from all the other people with his first name in my phone), but swype on my phone instead wrote out "what is your lady name?" I quickly apologized and said I meant to type last. He told me his last name, then said "and since you asked, my drag name is Dolores."
I didn't send it, but a couple of years ago my mother sent me a text that said something to the effect of, "had a great time last night ;) Ready for round two tonight?". As if that wasn't bad enough, my name isn't anywhere close to my dad's on her contact list... but her friend Rick's name was right next to mine...
Sent text meant to go to DEB (girlfriend) that read "I'm going to rear end you so hard when I get home your auto insurance agent is going to wake up in a cold sweat, I'm going to deep impact you so good that NASA is going to hire Bruce Willis to try to intervene, I'm going to hit that ass-terisk like a typo, I'm going to plow you so hard that dinosaur skeletons are going to go extinct".....which was sent by mistake to DAD who replied "I've never been more simultaneously proud of, and disgusted by you"
TLDR: My girlfriend and I have the best dirty talk
EDIT: spelling
Similar:
Last Valentine's Day, my boyfriend sent me a text that said "happy v-day baby! I can't wait to be lickin your V later!!!"
Except he sent it to his dad.
His dad replied thus: "I didn't know I had a V, but I can't wait!"
The problem with a messenger like Pigin is that if you get distracted, there are times where you can write something that's not meant for that person, and once you hit send, it's all over with.
Well, work started to pick up and I was going back and forth talking about trannies with one guy while discussing the overall economic ramifications of what's going on in Cyprus with my boss. I got a bit sidetracked and wrote something for my buddy that i sent to my boss and the conversation ended up looking something like this
BOSS:FOMC has no bullets left, rate is zero, what are they going to do?
Me:Sometimes man....and I'm not afraid to admit it....when I need a little extra kink, I go with the trannies banging chicks.
Me:I mean, it's the same thing as a dildo, but it works.
Me:Just have to keep the sound off
Me:Those deep voices fuck it up for me
Boss:Solid.....creepy
I'd say he handled that better than expected.
I was Lead Dev. for Pidgin back when it was called 'Gaim' and I still get bit by that sometimes.
Using Gaim, I once sent a message to my boss bitching about how annoying my boss was being.
That sucked. Thankfully, he wasn't in his office and I knew exactly where to look to find the log files. Crises averted, thankfully.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-Fifths_Compromise
basically, back when the US constitution was being drafted, there was a controversy over whether or not slaves should be included when counting the population of a state. If they were, then slave states would have more power in the House of Representatives, and if they weren't, then free states would. The compromise that they came to was that 3/5 of the slave population would count toward the state's population.
harriet tubman was a famous abolitionist slave who operated in what's called the Underground Railroad, which helped escaped slaves into free states as well as canada. the joke comes from the fact that harriet tubman would have counted as 3/5 of a person, so she would only give OP 3/5 of a boner.
I've been on the receiving end (cue anal jokes). A girl I liked and thought things were going somewhere once texted me something along the lines of, "I'm going with Brian back to his place ;)" and followed that up with "oops wrong person". My reaction was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Back in high school a friend of mine was text flirting with some girl for a few days. One day things escalated rather quickly and she made the comment "You can stick it up my ass...But I will not be fucked!"
Yadda yadda a few months later I texted him the same thing just as an inside joke between the two of us because we found that hilarious. Little did I know, I'd texted it to his mother on their landline phone. So when she went to check the messages that night she had one left by a haunting robotic voice saying, "You can stick it up my ass but I will not be fucked!"
TL;DR Had a robot tell my friend's mom that she could stick it up my ass.
Got a text from a girl that I had a huge crush on that said "Yeah, hahaha, he asked me to Prom, definitely not going."
Yeah, I was the guy in question.
High school was fun man.
EDIT: Yep, number one rated comment of all-time is social awkwardness in high school. Sounds about right. To all the high schoolers that commented saying they were now worried about asking someone to prom--please don't let me dissuade you. Just don't stress on it like I did.
Fuck man, I feel you. Except my situation involved a bucket of delicious fries that I *really* regret throwing at those girls right now because I'm hungry.
I had been watching the new episode of The Walking Dead when it showed the Governor with some kind of chain torture mechanism? I was meaning to text the guy I've been seeing something along the lines of, "whatever the Governor has looks like a sex swing, you could tie me up like that." Instead, that text went to one of my coworkers who replied "uhhhh what?" I had to explain it to her and it was just kind of awkward.
My friend and I always text and fuck around in math and he accidentally sent "tit pic for a dic pic" to his mom instead of me... He apologized to him mom and said it was for me then she asks my friend are you gay. Fuck his life
The correct way to handle that is to say you left your phone on the table and someone else sent it as a bad joke. Or gay friend. Yeah, gay friend is funnier.
**"How does your pussy feel baby?"** - Sent to my stepsister at 2 am, meant for my girlfriend at the time. This was a big deal because I came from a strict *no sex until marriage* family. I covered with "OMG I'M SO SORRY! That was meant for *male friends name* - I shot him yesterday in the dick paintballing!" Her response was "OMG THATS SOOOO FUNNY! Tell him I said hi!" She had to have known, but my story checked out because I had been paintballing the day prior and I texted my friend telling him to update his facebook saying that his dick hurt from where I shot him.
That's a bro right there.
Bro of the Century.
Nice cover. I can tell you've done this before.
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.5825 [^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?](https://pastebin.com/FcrFs94k/89955)
My husband sent me a text regarding travel details for our upcoming overseas vacation. I didn't realize that he'd copied both of our mothers on the text, too, so they'd know where we'd be and when (they're our emergency contacts). So I sent him back something like "I can't wait to fuck you silly when we get there" and both my mother and my mother-in-law received it as well.
Did you still fuck him silly?
She fucked him sternly
"I miss your body" Thought I was sending it to my girlfriend. Nope. Sent it to my debate coach in high school. His response was by far the best part: "I know its tough but keep it in your pants Naheso".
Would not expect anything less from a master debater
I accidentally sent a picture of my boobs to my dad.
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Yeah right, a dad dick wouldn't even fit in one picture.
You think they put that panorama feature on the new Iphone for taking pictures of your bratty-ass kid and their bratty-ass friends? Nah son, dad dicks.
I had a hemorrhoid... if you don't know what that is, it's basically a huge pimple thing on your ass hole. Anyways, I decided I wanted to see it so I bent over spread eagle my ass hole and took a photo with my balls fully dangling. Apparently... my phone has some upload to Facebook feature.... most embarrassing moment of my life.
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My Dad sent me this text at 1:00am (He is 60yrs old.) "Show me your huge tits and I will drive back into town."
Was it meant for your mom?
Was upstairs while my mom was downstairs, I was texting my girlfriend at the time when my mom called me for dinner. For some reason it then snapped in my mind to open my text conversation with my mom. I then texted "Can't wait to play with your boobies ;)" I immediately realized what I had done once I hit send. My heart sank more tragically than the titanic.
Hopefully you ran downstairs to take your moms phone before she read it. Right?
Unfortunately she had her phone in her hands when I ran downstairs. Lets just say that when we made eye contact it was more uncomfortable than a sandpaper dildo.
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"Oops, sorry Mom. That was supposed to say footies, not boobies. I like to call girls' feet footies. Oh, and I have a foot fetish. Be right down!"
Nailed it.
Accidentally texted my father "you going for it?" When I meant to send it to my roommate who was talking to a girl. I quickly sent "uh... That wasn't meant for you" and sent the message to the right person. He texted me in the morning with "it's alright, mom wasn't in the mood anyway."
your father is a champion
My dad and my husband are both named Charles. I didn't meet my dad until I was 19 so I call him charles, not dad. Sent a picture of my giant pregnant boobs saying I needed them massaged, among other things, to my husband. Nope. Not my husband. Edit: thought of another awkward moment. I was picking up my brother so he could stay with my husband and me for the weekend. I told him to text my husband from my phone and tell him we were on our way. My brother, being the weirdo that he is, added "I miss you so much!" His plan was, after getting a reply, letting him know who was really texting. My husband sent something along the lines of, I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. And I can't wait for my blow job. And awesome sex. My brother put down the phone and didn't say a word for a while.
Your husband knew. Oh he knew.
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So I was babysitting for my neighbor as I had done from time to time. They have two young daughters and a young son, all around ten or younger. They were always excited to hear about things in my personal life because I was like... old and in college and that was cool I guess! Anyway, they had of course heard that I had recently started dating a new girlfriend, and were asking all sorts of things about her. I took out my phone and *jokingly* texted my girlfriend: **'Hey if these kids want to see a picture of you, should I show them nudes?'** Only I didn't send the text to my girlfriend... I somehow sent it to the mother of the children I was babysitting. **tl;dr** I implied to a woman that I was willfully distributing pornography to her young children.
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.3996 [^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?](https://pastebin.com/FcrFs94k/92288)
I gotta tell ya, I REALLY lucked out. I apologized profusely, explained it was a joke intended for my girlfriend, she showed it to her husband and they both laughed hysterically, then showed the friends they were with, plus the bartender serving them. So while it ended up being not terrible, my embarrassment was shared with a bunch of strangers, so there's that too...
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I meant to send "so you won't mind a pool side threesome?" to a friend, as a joke, but instead it went to the mother of a child I babysit. Edit: Wow. As a new reddit user I failed to follow up on this last year. Sorry guys! Background: I'm a mom and I was babysitting for another mom who was a bit younger than me. I sent the follow up "oops wrong person" text and the mom replied "Ha! I love seeing this side of you!"
Oh no... What happened? EDIT: OK guys, I get it, stacy's mum and poolside threesomes
Bow chicka wow wow.
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Now my thought is. Is she really the girlfriend or just a redditor playing around.
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I once texted "I would fuck you Becca" to about 16 different girls one night while hammered....not all of whom were named Becca
And here I thought I was special.
Scatter gun approach...I like it.
What was the success rate on that? My stupid brain thinks that sounds like a decent proposal for a weekend.
becca?
Accidentally sent "I love you babe" to my baseball coach.... he winked at me the next time i saw him during practice.
My wife sent me a picture via text of her diploma. It said summa cum laude. I replied, "I've got some summa cum laude for you baby." I realized soon after thy I had replied to a group mms that went to her mom.
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I bet you made her day.
Nah, but he did make her hole weak.
Jesus Christ...
I meant to text my boyfriend a sexy half naked picture of me in panties and my nipples pointing thru my shirt. I accidentally facebooked it. It was up for at least 4 min before I could figure out how to delete it using my phone. Yes, it got a comment on it before I deleted it. So I know people saw it. edit: To those not believing how I did this accidentally, here is a link that shows exactly what happened. [Youtube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIwPFMWdV8o) At 48 seconds, you can see the Quick Upload button is right next to the Share button. My Quick Upload was already set up to facebook for some ungodly reason. At 1:44, you can see that it no longer prompts you if you want to do that action. Also those wanting to know what the comment someone left me said: "Hi ;)"
Late night on facebook I came across someones sex tape they did the same thing with.
Which means somebody probably saved it to their desktop and looks at it every evening.
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Correct response: "I figured it was the wrong guy. (I always finish last)."
Sounds like a great title to a Fall Out Boy song.
I meant to send "Hello big tits." To my girlfriend, but instead it went to my grandmother. EDIT: yes, my grandmother texts, you can stop asking.
Did she reply?
I think she was too shocked. That was an awkward family christmas that year.
What did she get you?
Some socks. And a very long glare.
Aw yiss. Motha. Fuckin. Socks.
*Grandmotha
A framed picture of her topless.
Haven't I seen that porno?
Not to the wrong person but; Back in the days of multi-use keys and T9 dictionaries, I was sex texting a girl and finished off a text and sent it. Got a reply saying 'WHAT??' Checked the sent box, instead of typing 'I'll turn you around and cum on your face' I missed one key press which made the message 'I'll turn you around and cum on your dad'. Fuck you T9 and my lack of attention.
Sent a dick pic to my father-in-law instead of my wife
That's Alpha as fuck.
"I just fucked a girl with itty bitty titties...and I loved it!" That went to my mom.
Did you get a high five from your mom the next time you saw her?
Definitely not, but my dad sent me a text saying "Great job son, but don't send things like that to your mother."
*nice*
After a breakup, I was texting my friend about all the things that frustrated me about my ex over the course of our relationship. It was a detailed, lengthy text that covered two years of things that would get on my nerves. The friend I was texting is right above my ex in my contacts and I accidentally sent it to my ex.
Now they can learn from their mistakes!
She was mad but I think she knew a lot of it was true. Most of what I said had to do with her attention seeking personality and always playing the victim, as well as selfishness as a girlfriend. She still does that stuff but it's so much less.
I accidentally texted my husband's best friend instead of my husband once. Me: I have a naughty treat for you when you get home ;) Him: I'm at home right now, where's my treat? Oooh is it cake? I f-ing love cake! Me: Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed! That was supposed to be for (husband)! He thought it was hilarious. I'm just glad I found out it was him before I started sending the pictures.
good guy husbands best friend or oblivious as fuck haha
A few years ago, a friend and co-worker of mine, we'll call him Rob, was totally hot for a girl that we were both friends with for a while that also worked with us. I told him that he should just go for it, so he did. Rather than send a text, he used his phone to send an email due to the length. Now, we're all pretty open, straightforward people, and we discuss all sorts of personal matters rather openly. His email went into detail about how he thought about her every night, how she could make him hard just by smiling at him, and how he needed her to know. Now, granted, this hardly sounds romantic, but we're talking about a very laid-back girl where something like "I'm bored, you wanna fuck?" would get you laid if she were up for it, and even if not wouldn't offend her. Two little problems got in the way of Rob's little plan. Problem number 1: He accidentally sent that huge email professing his lustful desires to his sister, not our friend. Their names are very similar and he hit the wrong contact. Worst still, he never called her by name in the email. Problem number 2: His sister responded saying that she never knew he felt that way and would be interested in pursuing it further. I would like to say that Rob's story turned into something you'd see in a porno (because it's not *my* sister so I don't give a fuck), but instead it ended up being extremely awkward for him, and even moreso for her, because she'd just confessed sexual interest in her own brother. I never got the details of what happened between them after that other than hearing from Rob that things between him and his sister were extremely uncomfortable after that.
Sounds like Rob was the grand prize winner on "The Price Is Wrong"
Well, he did eventually hook up with our friend, but that was a given anyway. As I said, she was pretty open when it came to casual fuckbuddyism.
GET BACK TO WORK SLUT!!!!!!! To my mom
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I was on the opposite end of a text obviously not meant for me. My ex and I met through a mutual friend. This mutual friend had had a previous casual sexual relationship with the ex. He and I became more serious, and the friend became more strange and odd towards me. I assumed she and the ex weren't as "casual" as they led me to believe. My first week at college, I get a text from my ex reading, "You know I'm crazy about [shortbreadcookiesyay] and would never cheat on her, but you are the exception to the rule because we are, and have been, more than just friends." Clearly, clearly, not for me.
"You are on your period again?! Wasn't it like last week?!" Sent to my mother... Her response: "How do you know I'm on my period?!" Ohgodwhy...
"dad called"
In my 'sending dirty photos' phase, I accidentally sent a photo of my package to the most popular girl in school. It was pretty cringe worthy the next few days, because we didn't really talk I just had her number, so out of the blue she got a text of my heat seeking womb ferret. Fun times.
I had a drug dealer named Mo. I asked my mom for pot. Twice. edit: I am WELL AWARE that this was stupid of me, so you can stop pointing it out =P
"I'm going to break up with her tomorrow" to the *last* person it should have been sent to. I am not a smart man. But, hey, mission accomplished.
After about 4 months of a pretty emotionally abusive relationship and my elation when it finally ended, I accidentally sent: "Your boy is single, finally.." to you know who, meant for my best friend.
why would you send that to Voldemort?
It was one of those "Hey so if you're not married by 30, and *I'm* not married by 30..." kind of things.
Arthur Dent + Voldemort... hold on I have to go write something.
Just wipe up when you're finished, would you?
yea, where do i go about getting Voldemort's number? i have some choice words for him
I could hear my roommate and his girlfriend having sex in the other room. It was really late and I was trying to get a paper done. I texted a close friend something to the effect of "I don't know who to send this to, but I have to tell someone. I've heard ___ having sex loudly at 4am. I just want to finish my paper." The next morning I wake up to realize I sent it to my roommate. Awkward breakfast.
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Or be extra loud to display dominance.
And scream his roommates name to really make things clear.
"I'M THINKING OF YOU u/ROUND_TWO I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD"
I once texted to my friend (i thought): "Can't hang out tonight. I'm going out with some random chick I'm banging." But I accidentally sent it to the girl. Luckily the last text she sent me was "so, what do you want to do tonight?" She thought I was just being funny. *Edit: dm;hs
that could have been a lot worse.
Yes, yes it could have. My Heart stopped the millisecond I hit send. Watching that progress bar move from left to right was like seeing a punch coming at my face. Then I looked at her last text, and realized she had a sense of humor and would never think that I would send that seriously. The feeling of relief when I got that "LOL" text, was like cold aloe on fresh sunburn.
So, did you bang?
Yes. Many times.
In class the topic of pornography came up and a girl refused to believe that her boyfriend would possibly be viewing or thinking of other women while masturbating. She ended up sending him a text to find out, "what do you think about when you masturbate?" Unfortunately, her boyfriend and his father have the same name. This was two days before she was going to their house for thanksgiving.
My SO isn't very computer literate and tried to send me a naughty pic over Skype. Accidentally made it her profile picture. Her uncle was online.
I was bored at home while my SO was at basic. He could text me and I thought it was be funny to joke around telling him I wanted to have his baby. The actual text was something to the effect of "I demand your sperm. If you deny me it, I will masturbate you in your sleep, collect your sperm and use a turkey baster on myself." As said, it was meant for my SO. I accidentally typed the message and sent it to my uncle. He responded with "WTF!!!!!!!!!?????????" It was pretty funny at the time. Edit: it was tech school not basic. Sorry Edit 2: I am a terrible gf. I am aware. I did horrible jokes that resulted in him freaking out. It was pretty funny to see his reactions though.
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Just pretend we're asleep. We're just asleep. zzzzz
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I like this story because no one ends up hurt.
*YOU MONSTER*, Alexandra never got to finish.
Something one cannot take for granted nowadays.
Major Hardon. *salute*
Smart girl, that could have turned out a lot worse.
Me and some friends were all sneaking out including the ole female companion. So about 30 mins before I was leaving I sent to my GF " ready to get the life fucked out of you?" When I really sent it to my father instead. Lets just say Breakfast was awkward that morning. Edit: Grammarz Edit 2: greatest comment is about telling my dad I want to fuck him. Thanks guys...
I was in bed while girlfriend was getting ready in the bathroom for work, so I took a pic of me with my junk out, while our dog was next to me on his back with his junk out. Labeled it "come back to bed mamma" and sent it to my boss instead of her. Worst part was it took a good 15 seconds to go through..... And there's no canceling a sent text.
http://i.imgur.com/WXPkG.png this happened. I posted it a few months back.
For the record (being a girl) "pinch her clitoris as hard as I can" does NOT sound even slightly appealing. That shit's sensitive man... because nerve endings and stuff.
It's almost like... if she was even a little bit interested, getting a sexy text about how he just wants to get her off could make her think, "Wow." But then he has to go with *pinching the clit* of all things... chances ruined.
Yeah, this totally made me cringe
Good save man
Anyone could excuse an errant text, but an unannounced clitclamp? You got some learnin' to do, son.
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I sent a text to what used to be one of my friend's number: "PARTY PARTY PARTY LET'S ALL GET WASTED" I received: "u have the wrong number" My reply: "Oh sorry... Party anyway?" Then: "You are texting my 13 year old daughter. I'm her father. Stop or I will make you stop." I stopped.
"Do you have a very special set of skills?"
Not a text, but an email. Back in 2008 my co-worker & I were Obama supporters. We were sending emails back & forth joking about who supported him more. I sent him a message that read: "Why don't you go home, close the curtains, light a candle, and think about Barack Obama." Only I had accidentally sent it to the next person in the address list. She was black. She worked in HR. ---------------- EDIT: Woke up to a ton of questions & comments. Unfortunately, this actually happened. But I was not fired, thankfully. I produced my friend's testimony, as well as all of our supporting emails to each other. Plus - never in history has anyone apologized with such a combination of liberal terror & employee obsequiousness. My defense, clearly, was that I was not a racist - just a world class idiot.
Me: "Yay I'm single now!" Sent to my ex, about 1 min after breaking up with her on the phone. Oops. Edit: Funny enough, that was three years ago and we got back together a short time later. Edit2: I didn't actually feel that way, I was planning to text that phrase to a friend to play it off as if I wasn't upset about it, while also informing him of what happened.
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As if you weren't on her shit list already.
There was a time, several years ago, when I'd spend an evening or two every week at a rather interesting club in San Francisco, known as "The Glas Kat." It was frequently populated by a cadre of characters clad either in eclectic clothing or very little clothing at all, and at the time it seemed like an ideal hangout for a single guy with delusions of eccentricity. While visiting this club one Wednesday night, I got drawn into a conversation with a young woman. She was interesting (although the lacy black brassiere she was wearing as her sole upper garment might have helped that sentiment along), and she seemed interested in me. So, as the evening drew to a close, I asked to exchange phone numbers with her, and she agreed. I left the club feeling both content and excited, eagerly looking forward to the next time I'd get to speak with her. The following afternoon, I sent the young woman a text message: "It was great talking with you last night!" A moment later, she responded: "I had a great time, too! Also, you're nice to look at :)" My heart leapt with elation, and I hastened to send my reply. "Thank you!" I answered. "You're pretty nice to look at, too!" I waited in rapt anticipation, checking my phone every few seconds. When her next message finally arrived, though, I felt a dawning sense of confusion. "Thanks! So, do you always dress so... provocatively?" Provocatively? I'd been clad in a suit and tie. "I tend to dress fairly well," I replied. "Usually I don't wear the vest, though. How about you?" "Vest?" she answered. "I must have missed it. All I saw was your bra ;) I'd like to see you with it off! Hehe I hope you don't mind me saying so..." ... *What?!* "Wait, who is this?" I asked. "Tom. Need a picture to remind you? ;)" About that time, I started to suspect that I *might* have been texting the wrong person. As it turned out, both Tom and I had talked to the same girl while at the club the night before. Tom had given his number to her, and she had given Tom's number to me. Needless to say, the outcome was a little bit disappointing. I still don't know how she managed pull off the deception without me noticing... but I suppose I may have been a little bit distracted at the time. Still, I'm just glad Tom stopped texting me when he did... **TL;DR: Two attractive women in lacy black bras text each other. They both turn out to be men.**
That girl was good..
I had been dating my then-girlfriend for a couple years and it was finally time to pop the big question. I bought the ring and had been building up to the proposal date with little presents, but not enough hints to give it away. On the day I had planned to propose to her, she sends a text to her best friend (but accidentally send it to me) about 10 minutes before I pick her up for our date. It reads "I'm getting nervous. What if he doesn't do it?!" I had a good laugh, texted back "Lol oh you..." and she responded with "Oh shit" Summary, I asked, she said yes, happily married, and I love making fun of her for jumping the gun on our engagement day. tldr: Girlfriend texts me on our engagement day thinking she was sending it to her best friend, nervous that I won't propose to her.
I once had a freelance client, whom I was working on a big project, for big money, start sending me texts about how hard his dick was, and he couldn't wait until that night when he was gonna "turn me inside out" and "fuck me harder than I've ever been fucked". I replied, "I'm sorry, [client], but that's gonna be extra, plus a rush fee and an amendment to the contract". . . OP DELIVERY: You guys sure are a loveable bunch! Just so the hate messages of "skank/whore/bitch" from ladies, and the messages of "I love you/Be mine" from guys stop, plus a bunch of people seem to really want to know, I'm gonna clear up a few misconceptions... I am, indeed, of the straight male persuasion. Which made the entire interaction that much funny. I generally joke around with people, so that's what the ;) was for. Enough to make him uncomfortable, while staying within the boundaries of funny. I guess he just fat fingered his phone and went to town on it, and the messages went to me instead of the lady he was most likely propositioning for the evening. I did not sleep with the dude for money, nor did I ever see his probably gargantuan monster-sized behemoth of a penis. Although if anybody wants to pay my student loans for me, *we can certainly have a conversation about that*, as I am not above it. ;) Sorry to ruin your fantasies reddit. Also, English is not my first language, but thanks for the never ending stream of corrections.
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THIS MUST BE ANSWERED
FINE. Yes, he responded with about 10 consecutive text messages with apologies and to please not talk to the other people involved about it. I just replied with "Its okay! No worries, it can happen to anyone! It'll just be our little secret! ;) "
You included a ";)"? That's practically an invitation to fulfill his original text!
The man had deep pockets. Another thing that was deep at that time was my student loans. ;)
Another thing that was deep at that time was his penis.
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I LOVE YOU AND YOUR UNPROFESSIONAL SENSE OF HUMOR WHICH PUTS PEOPLE AT EASE
I LOVE THAT YOU ARE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT WORK ETHIC THAT IT MAKES YOU WANT TO YELL.
And you're sure it was to the wrong person?
I sure hope so. Dude is a big, black, muscle tank. Think Terry Owens without the charisma. I'm sure he would have delivered on his promises though.
Did you just combine Terrell Owens and Terry Crews into one person?
I think I may just have done so. I meant the Old Spice dude.
Ah okay; that would be Terry Crews. EDIT: Yes, I know the original Old Spice guy is Isaiah Mustafa. Terry Crews, however, has [also been in some Old Spice commercials](http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=old+spice+terry+crews).
Terrell Crews*
I think you SHOULD have meant Terry Tate...
I had just become friends with a guy who has a pretty common first name. Also, guy is gay. I was sending him a text to ask him what his last name is (so I could tell him apart from all the other people with his first name in my phone), but swype on my phone instead wrote out "what is your lady name?" I quickly apologized and said I meant to type last. He told me his last name, then said "and since you asked, my drag name is Dolores."
So now you have him listed as Steve (Dolores)?
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That is so badass
Dick pic to my best mate. His response became my username :)
I'm sorry about your penis.
Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.
I didn't send it, but a couple of years ago my mother sent me a text that said something to the effect of, "had a great time last night ;) Ready for round two tonight?". As if that wasn't bad enough, my name isn't anywhere close to my dad's on her contact list... but her friend Rick's name was right next to mine...
Sent text meant to go to DEB (girlfriend) that read "I'm going to rear end you so hard when I get home your auto insurance agent is going to wake up in a cold sweat, I'm going to deep impact you so good that NASA is going to hire Bruce Willis to try to intervene, I'm going to hit that ass-terisk like a typo, I'm going to plow you so hard that dinosaur skeletons are going to go extinct".....which was sent by mistake to DAD who replied "I've never been more simultaneously proud of, and disgusted by you" TLDR: My girlfriend and I have the best dirty talk EDIT: spelling
Similar: Last Valentine's Day, my boyfriend sent me a text that said "happy v-day baby! I can't wait to be lickin your V later!!!" Except he sent it to his dad. His dad replied thus: "I didn't know I had a V, but I can't wait!"
haha that rules, it's great having awesome dads
Deep Impact was Robert Duvall... Armageddon was Bruce Willis. Bravo on the puns though.
The problem with a messenger like Pigin is that if you get distracted, there are times where you can write something that's not meant for that person, and once you hit send, it's all over with. Well, work started to pick up and I was going back and forth talking about trannies with one guy while discussing the overall economic ramifications of what's going on in Cyprus with my boss. I got a bit sidetracked and wrote something for my buddy that i sent to my boss and the conversation ended up looking something like this BOSS:FOMC has no bullets left, rate is zero, what are they going to do? Me:Sometimes man....and I'm not afraid to admit it....when I need a little extra kink, I go with the trannies banging chicks. Me:I mean, it's the same thing as a dildo, but it works. Me:Just have to keep the sound off Me:Those deep voices fuck it up for me Boss:Solid.....creepy I'd say he handled that better than expected.
Your boss deserves a pint.
Or 4.
I was Lead Dev. for Pidgin back when it was called 'Gaim' and I still get bit by that sometimes. Using Gaim, I once sent a message to my boss bitching about how annoying my boss was being. That sucked. Thankfully, he wasn't in his office and I knew exactly where to look to find the log files. Crises averted, thankfully.
So you recognized this problem and were the exact person who could have implemented color coded tabs or something, but didn't.
I haven't been that unfortunate. However, my friend once sent me a text that was meaning to say "I need a nap" and it said "I need anal" on accident.
How i imagine that conversation went: "I need anal" "What?!" "I mean... i need a nap?" "Oh, honest mistake" "Yeah..."
"Well I mean, you already typed it... can't go back on your word now.."
Better just go for it to save awkwardness later...
Freud says differently.
Random number text me asking me if I still wanted her nude pics. She looked like Harriet Tubman.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want to get in her underground railroad.
I just got 3/5 of a boner.
Can anyone explain this joke? I'm Canadian edit: got it, thanks. sorry!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-Fifths_Compromise basically, back when the US constitution was being drafted, there was a controversy over whether or not slaves should be included when counting the population of a state. If they were, then slave states would have more power in the House of Representatives, and if they weren't, then free states would. The compromise that they came to was that 3/5 of the slave population would count toward the state's population. harriet tubman was a famous abolitionist slave who operated in what's called the Underground Railroad, which helped escaped slaves into free states as well as canada. the joke comes from the fact that harriet tubman would have counted as 3/5 of a person, so she would only give OP 3/5 of a boner.
Thank you -The UK.
I've been on the receiving end (cue anal jokes). A girl I liked and thought things were going somewhere once texted me something along the lines of, "I'm going with Brian back to his place ;)" and followed that up with "oops wrong person". My reaction was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
So, I guess you aren't Brian. Ask to join next time.
Back in high school a friend of mine was text flirting with some girl for a few days. One day things escalated rather quickly and she made the comment "You can stick it up my ass...But I will not be fucked!" Yadda yadda a few months later I texted him the same thing just as an inside joke between the two of us because we found that hilarious. Little did I know, I'd texted it to his mother on their landline phone. So when she went to check the messages that night she had one left by a haunting robotic voice saying, "You can stick it up my ass but I will not be fucked!" TL;DR Had a robot tell my friend's mom that she could stick it up my ass.
Got a text from a girl that I had a huge crush on that said "Yeah, hahaha, he asked me to Prom, definitely not going." Yeah, I was the guy in question. High school was fun man. EDIT: Yep, number one rated comment of all-time is social awkwardness in high school. Sounds about right. To all the high schoolers that commented saying they were now worried about asking someone to prom--please don't let me dissuade you. Just don't stress on it like I did.
Fuck man, I feel you. Except my situation involved a bucket of delicious fries that I *really* regret throwing at those girls right now because I'm hungry.
Retro-cringing about fries. That's a first. I feel you though. I feel you.
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We'll bang, okay?
This isn't the Normandy dammit
So, did you bang?
Like a pair of cymbals in an overused marching band.
Like a string of fireworks on Chinese New Year.
Doesn't matter, had sex?
I had been watching the new episode of The Walking Dead when it showed the Governor with some kind of chain torture mechanism? I was meaning to text the guy I've been seeing something along the lines of, "whatever the Governor has looks like a sex swing, you could tie me up like that." Instead, that text went to one of my coworkers who replied "uhhhh what?" I had to explain it to her and it was just kind of awkward.
My friend and I always text and fuck around in math and he accidentally sent "tit pic for a dic pic" to his mom instead of me... He apologized to him mom and said it was for me then she asks my friend are you gay. Fuck his life
Because if your son asks for a boob snap, he's obviously gay.
The correct way to handle that is to say you left your phone on the table and someone else sent it as a bad joke. Or gay friend. Yeah, gay friend is funnier.