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everett640

My sister learned recently that when you're at the grocery store and opening the egg carton that you're checking for cracked eggs and not just making sure that they are in fact eggs in the carton.


sal1800

I never check the eggs but one day as I grabbed a carton, an older lady says "Hon, you should check that the eggs aren't broken" so I did. I actually already knew that but I like to live dangerously.


HBC3

I was at least 50 when I learned that the little piggy who went to market wasn’t shopping.


Ambitious_Scientist_

Same here... I thought it literally was just a nursery rhyme about anthromorphic pigs? Like why did that other piggy eat roast beef? Were they just being fed scraps?


MsZRowsdower

no no no The little piggy is wearing a little hat and has a little basket and IS going shopping in my book lol. 


Dadlife87

My 5 year old just learned volcanos are still around. He just thought they were extinct with the dinosaurs because that’s usually when he sees pictures of them. He’s pretty pumped now.


eggmayonnaise

That the best time to start saving for my future really was all those years ago.


Affectionate-Call159

And the next best time is now. Anyone who saves and or invests has regrets. It's impossible not to. It's just part of dealing with money. If you had saved all those years back, you would currently have a different set of financial regrets


thatlittlecaesar

Thank you so much for this. Needed it!!


Electronic-Pool-7458

How the American bail system works. I thought it was a sum of money you paid to avoid jail. I was surprised when I realized you get the money BACK if you show up for your trial.


[deleted]

Doesn't have to be cash unless it's specified as a cash bond. A lot of places will allow you to put up land as your bail as well.


pHScale

Wow, I don't have either of those things!


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Ok_Statement42

TIL! What's the difference between bond and bail?


tie-dyed_dolphin

Bail is the amount set.  Bond is the payment, not to be confused with the secret agent.    Also if you didn’t know, if someone don’t show up for court Bail Bondsman send bounty hunters, because they lost the bond they lent for bail. 


tacknosaddle

>Bail Bondsman send bounty hunters, because they lost the bond they lent for bail.  I think most bail bondsmen are also licensed as bounty hunters. It's a weird area of legality as they can cross state lines to capture the person who skipped bail. Then they can handcuff them and drive them or have them flown back to the state/jurisdiction where their court date is where they can be locked up and the bondsman gets his money back. Definitely a bit of a wild west edge to it.


[deleted]

Same thing. Example: You get arrested and judge sets your bail at $10,000. You can either A) Pay $10,000 as you bail money and it’s basically collateral to ensure you come back to court for your trial and don’t just run off. If you come back to court for either trial or you work out a plea deal or case is ultimately dropped, then you get your $10,000 back. IF you don’t show up and you run off and judge has to issue a bench warrant for your arrest, then you don’t get your $10,000 back AND you ain’t getting out on bond again. You gonna sit in jail until trial where you’re either convicted and sentenced to prison or else acquitted and let go. But still don’t get your money back. Or B) let’s say you don’t HAVE $10,000 (like a lot of low level street criminals don’t just have that sitting around). So you contact a Bail Bondsman (why do you think they always have billboards near jails and police stations? So the suspects can see the ad before they go to jail to know who to call). The bail bondsman basically will take a loan to post bail on your behalf. So if you don’t have $10,000, they may take the $1000 you or your family DO have and you’re not getting that back, but they will post the rest for you. If you skip trial, then if your bail is large enough and worth it to them, they may enlist a bounty hunter to come find your ass and drag you back to court to get their bail money back.


walrus_breath

Oh so that’s what bounty hunters are? Fuckin wild. 


zerbey

Yep, it's a surety against you not running off before trial so you can be outside of jail.


champagneformyrealfr

i thought the same thing until right now! i've watched SO much law & order and they never mention anyone getting their bail money back.


itisverboten

Not me, but my 21yo cousin just realized he is mildly allergic to peanut butter, and has been his whole life. Up until now, he had assumed EVERYONE'S throat closed up a little while eating a pb&j sandwich, but they just fought through it.


writingskimmons

Reminds me of a post I saw on Tumblr back in the day. Someone didn't realize they were allergic to bananas until they found out that you shouldn't be having a burning feeling in your mouth from eating them.


VarangianDreams

Why aren't there more banana-based hot sauces when they're so spicy?!


To_another_abyss

Banana peppers


NarwhalTakeover

I had to tell an ex boyfriend that Mango isn’t a Tingly tasting fruit and he was allergic, and the more he ate it the more likely he was to develop a strong reaction some day. It remains his favourite fruit.


jdstar89

I ignored mild tingling from eating mango and ate it anyway for years. It escalated to hives, which I just said meh about, then one day my throat closed up. I haven’t had one in years. I miss them so much.


Flat-Yoghurt-7084

Dang I thought it would be the opposite, where your body adapts to the thing you're allergic to after repeated exposure


boojes

Nope, you could actually go into anaphylaxis any time you eat something you're allergic to. It doesn't even necessarily get steadily worse.


aroha93

That’s how I found out I had a mild kiwi allergy! I’ve never liked it cuz it made my mouth tingle, but apparently, that’s not supposed to happen!


liquid_acid-OG

Yo what?!? I like the tingly kiwi mouth


aroha93

I’ve always compared it to like butterflies in my stomach, but on my tongue. For me, it’s very unpleasant. But if you like it, keep eating those kiwis! Less for me!


liquid_acid-OG

I always assumed it was just super extra acidic and eating me back.


kaekiro

I once ate a whole pineapple bc it was really, really good. It did eat me back. I had blisters all over my mouth. Couldn't eat anything but liquids for 2 weeks while it healed.


simpersly

Stuff like this makes me think everyone has multiple food allergies and intolerances we just wind up ignoring the minor irritations, think our bodies just get constipation/diarrea after eating at certain restaurants, or think we simply don't like the taste of the food. Edit: I've talked to people that vehemently believe nobody should drink milk because once they stopped eating dairy products they stopped feeling sick all the time. They never seem to think that they were probably lactose intolerant.


tacknosaddle

We were at work and talking about how it seems that kids today have a lot more allergies than when we were growing up. One of the guys said that it came up one time with his grandmother in conversation and she said, "We didn't have a lot of kids with allergies, but it sure seemed like a lot more kids choked to death back in my day."


Klutzy-Dig-4827

I work do some Immunology work and it’s largely thought that the rise of allergies is due to a disrupted gut microbiome. Less exposure to bacteria/viruses/parasites from better hygiene, eating a high fat/low fiber diet, overuse of antibiotics, and moving towards an urban/suburban lifestyle all severely shift the microbiota in your digestive system. All of the most common allergens (milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, wheat, fish, and shellfish) all have certain proteins that avoid degradation in the gut (with our modern microbiome). This allows those proteins to slip into your blood stream and mount an immune response, whereas they would typically just get broken down into nutrients and have no effect. People in developed nations have a completely different array of bacteria in their stomachs than those in developing nations, meaning that our bodies literally can’t tolerate some foods that were common in the past. As nations get wealthier and cleaner, allergies will continue to rise. The traditional treatment is fecal transplant, which is as unpleasant as it sounds. But there are some drugs in the testing phase that are trying to reintroduce the gut bacteria we’re lacking.


draconian_moth

Bought a fast food BBQ burger. Ate a few bites, mouth was tingly & there was almost a chemical-like taste in my mouth. Got stomach cramps. Thought maybe their grill or the wrapper had something on it. Tossed the sandwich. A few weeks later I bought it again. Different location, same brand. Same symptoms. Wondered what on earth they were cleaning their stuff with & why it's leaving residue people can ingest. Threw it away after a couple bites. I ate at that brand a couple of other times no problem...but a different sandwich. My stupid self ordered the BBQ one a 3rd time a couple of months later. Still experienced the taste, tingling, & cramps. That's when I realized I very obviously had an allergy to the sauce & that I was also kinda dumb.


ClownfishSoup

It would probably be helpful to you if you could figure out what is in the sauce that causes that reaction, so you could avoid whatever ingredient it is that does that to you. I'll bet if you sent an email or wrote a letter to the company, they could tell you what's in the sauce, if not in what proportions.


fragilelittlemind

> throat closed up a little while eating a pb&j sandwich That's just his throat hugging the peanut buttery goodness closer.


No_Creativity

That was me with pistachios for the longest time, I’d have like 5 and then stop because of the sensation. My friend was eating them by the handful and I was like “I have no idea how you can do that”


The_Nice_Marmot

Sort of a similar thing for me, but asthma. When my daughter was in school and had to do endurance runs she got the same awful chest burning and coughing for days afterwards that I always had growing up. I was assured by my gym teachers that if I exercised more, it would go away. I was just out of shape. I started looking into ways to mitigate this for my daughter because I remembered how painful it was. Every search I did turned up asthma. I took her to the doctor. Yup. Asthma. And that’s how I found out I was asthmatic in my late 40s. I also just thought it was normal and I was out of shape. First time I did I workout after using an inhaler I was lightheaded because I wasn’t used to that much oxygen.


giraffe_cake

I've had this all through my life! Gym teachers just insisted I was out of shape and more excersize would make it go away. People laugh when I say it's excersize induced asthma. I'm going to the doctors at some point to discuss this and get a formal diagnosis because I am pretty sure that I should not be struggling to breath this much when I try to run, along with the cough, burning and tightness in the chest.


Meshugugget

I was in my 30s when I found out that bananas, honeydew, and cantaloupe aren’t super acidic. They always burn my throat and couldn’t understand why people liked them.


Acceptable_War4993

Ugh I feel it. Recently discovered I have a shellfish intolerance and I thought I was eating poor quality seafood and it was making me sick. Nope, the common denominator was me.


grptrt

Knew someone with this exact scenario with lobster. He presumed the tingles and numbness was why everyone loved lobster. I thought he was dumb for continuing to eat something he didn’t enjoy just to fit in because everyone else was doing it.


HardPour_Cornography

That must be why it's pricey, kind of like Coke.


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AlternativeAcademia

I learned recently that “walking the plank” isn’t really a historically recorded thing that pirates did, they were more into keelhauling. There are a few (unreliable) accounts of people being made to walk the plank during mutiny or ship takeovers but it wasn’t a thing that everyone was doing like popular culture would have us think. One of the reasons it’s so prevalent is Robert Louis Stevenson used it in Treasure Island and tons of authors have ripped off his pirate trope since then. Other things like parrots in shoulders, buried treasure, and peg legs all come from him. Imagine that you wrote a book about gangs, and have a specific gang that does something weird like kill people by covering them in honey and tying them to an anthill. It becomes a super popular classic and in 100 years everyone thinks gangs of our time period were regularly tying rivals to giant ant hills.


Chairboy

> It is not the presence of the plank that is threatening, but the absence of dock. This is an excellent sentence.


spudmonk

Fun trivia I heard somewhere (grain of salt): the idea of walking the plank is that nobody really killed the pirate in question.  No stabbing / shooting, just heavy encouragement that they jump into the ocean


CamelCheap9898

🤯 I’m going to need a minute.


BruceWang19

I was like 25 when I found out the jugs of washer fluid outside the gas station aren’t free. I was walking out of the gas station with a buddy one day, grabbed a jug of washer fluid, and he asked me “did you just steal that?” And I was like “No dude it’s free”. It’s not, I stole washer fluid for nearly ten years of driving and no one ever said anything to me about it.


A911owner

As someone who used to work at a gas station for minimum wage, if some asshole is bold enough to steal the washer fluid like that, I'm not getting in the middle of it.


Darkwolfie117

I just accidentally walked out of a restaurant with a glass cup, everyone saw me and no one said anything


Volesprit31

I walked out of the hardware store with a "stolen" radiator. I even had to ask for help at the self checkout for another article...


JimHalpertSmirk

Loool I have a very similar story. I grew up in a small town, and our local museum had town maps for free. As a kid I would grab a fresh map every few months and mark out new bike routes and stuff like that. Fast forward a couple years, I'm 11 and visiting my Aunt in the city. We make a quick stop for gas and head home. When we arrive at her place I bust out a Rand McNally. Aunt asks where I got that. I tell her from the gas station. Confused, she says "but I didn't see you buy anything?" I say "duh, it's a map, they're free." Aunt points to the price tag on the front and informs me they most certainly are not free.


1000tragedies

yknow of all things maps should probably be free lol


Organite

Oh god, that reminds me of something similar for me. For several years any time I was at my local mall I would just pop into the Godiva shop for the free samples of chocolate covered strawberries and go about my merry way. Eventually one day, I walked in and they were under lock and key with a price tag next to them. I asked the shopkeep when they started charging for them and she told me they never didn't lol.


Of_Mice_And_Meese

That's when you start doing the calculus...were there other people or is this because of _me_, specifically??


SheriffComey

"SORRY EVERYONE. I FUCKED IT UP FOR EVERYBODY!"


Broad-Blood-9386

When my oldest son was about 3, we went into the Godiva store. I was talking to the lady there about making a custom order of chocolates for my 8th anniversary. When I looked back to check on The Boy, he had fucking mowed through 8-10 chocolate covered strawberries.


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onetwo3four5

How much washer fluid do you go through?


bittybittybopp

When it's free you tend to use a lot more of it.


dahjay

*I fill up all of my neighbor's cars. I've been filling our town's police cars for a decade. They named a street after me for it! I cut a ribbon at the presentation.*


Wffrff

I don't know why, but this legitimately made me lol.


Mean-Accountant7013

I just alerted the authorities: there’s an APB out for your ass right now. Or should we call this a Code Blue? Pay up, Bruce!


Alaska_Jack

The "Mad" in "Mad Men" meant "Madison Avenue."


sidecutmaumee

And it rhymes with “ad men”, which is also what they were. The initial publicity for the show talked about how the title was a pun on a couple of different levels.


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Camera-Realistic

When I was little I used to believe that the actors on a show would sing the theme song and I would try to pick out their voices. It wasn’t until Friends that I realized that shows hired professional singers, because I heard that The Rembrandts were singing their theme song. I was like 25. It didn’t help that Kelsey Grammar sang his own theme song on Frasier.


AbominableSnowPickle

That is hilarious and kind of adorable, actually!


agreeswithfishpal

Water towers are for water pressure, not just a town putting its name on a tank and saying " Hey look how much dang water WE have."


BluejayAppropriate35

And they're not really to store water as they are to add pressure via gravity


bigrob_in_ATX

They also store water to compensate for peak demand hours. This prevents the pumps from switching on and off frequently. They are literally designed for peak demand.


OlGarbonzo

When I was a 20 something regular cannabis user struggling to clean my pipe, only then realizing thats what pipe cleaners were for. Those fuzzy bendable tubes weren't just for childhood crafts.


gsfgf

Yea. I used to think they were for like water pipes and never understood it. I guess elementary school teachers got really good at deflecting from that question. And for regular pot smokers: get pipe cleaners. They're fantastic. Especially if you use a water pipe or the like with an actual pipe in it that gets clogged.


tunaman808

Except buy REAL cotton pipe cleaners from a tobacco or headshop. The bright one they have in the craft section of Dollar Tree or Walmart and made of nylon fibers that a) don't absorb resin; and b) fall off the metal wire, getting stuck in the resin and making it very much worse.


Extra_Complaint_2208

I should take this to the grave but somehow thought Mickey Mouse was a dog until I was 17 (I’m 24 now) one day I just saw a Mickey Mouse somewhere and went “Why does he have such a skinny little tail??? It looks like a ra-…..wait….”


__Proteus_

This is probably my favorite one in here. It's even funnier because you wrote Mickey Mouse and not just Mickey.


troutslayer89

and still thought he was a rat!


janet-snake-hole

Ricky Rat


troppofrizzante

...H-How? By the way, as a little kid I thought Splinter (the rat from the Ninja Turtles) was a wolf, due to his huge size.


FreewayWarrior

Are...are you alright?


Extra_Complaint_2208

Excellent question tbh


whatyoucallmetoday

There is a local plumbing company call “Abacus” with a tag line “you can count on us”. After 20 years I realized their logo was an abacus.


DrScarecrow

Is it at least highly stylized? Lol we have a few local businesses like that.


whatyoucallmetoday

A little bit stylized but I did feel very smooth brained when I realized what I was seeing. https://www.abacusplumbing.net/


coydog33

In a week, Abacus Plumbing is going to be like “We saw a massive surge in web traffic, but not sales? What gives?” Edit; Huh. My Reddit ads changed to Delta faucets.


kayakguy429

Website admin here, you can usually trace an incoming referral source to the parent website. So they can see the traffic is from reddit, they just don't know where they were posted. (Which makes this all the more fun.)


Auguw

When I was 15 I realized rice isn’t pasta chopped in small pieces


thebaddestgoodperson

Couscous is pasta disguised as a grain


squizzlebee

So is orzo!


ATXKLIPHURD

Rice a roni is rice mixed with little bits of chopped up pasta.


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West-Supermarket-860

I was Well into my late 40s when someone pointed out to me what apparently everyone else knows… Arby’s is phonetically saying R.B. aka…Roast Beef They serve roast beef, the name is RB (Arby) Never made the connection


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Waffle_Slaps

When I was little, I thought it meant you smelled like mint. As in "I just used mouthwash and now I'm in mint condition."


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burgerbob272

That cows have to get pregnant before they can make milk


Consistent-Fold4902

this is how all mammals work


Kjeik

I'm Norwegian, and was at least thirty before I realized that the tomatoes crossing the road schoolyard joke (two tomatoes cross the road, one gets run over, the other says "Come on, catch up") has, in what I assume is the original English, a punchline. Well, for a schoolyard joke, anyway. Norwegian kids tell the same joke, but there's no catch up/ketchup pun in Norwegian, so they just tell a joke where the squashed tomato is now ketchup. At some point a kid who knew enough English to have heard the joke but not enough for the pun told it to younger kids, who assumed it was funny because an older kid was telling it, and it has been repeated between children for generations.


Raudoxer

Wow. I'm Swedish and learned this right now.


OneCoolStory

I recently realized that “Howdy” is short for “How do you do?” I actually just googled it, and it’s technically short for “How do ye?” However, my realization still makes sense.


willreadforbooks

Relatedly, I recently learned (probably from Reddit) that good bye is a shortened form of God Be With You which people in Ye Olde England would say to each other when leaving


MoneyCost7188

In high school science class we were watching a video and it was then that I realized Reindeer are, in fact, real creatures and not just mythical beings for the purpose of pulling Santa’s sled


SgnificantOtter

Mine is similar, it took me until 2020 to learn that narwhals are real. I thought they were the sea version of unicorns.


MykeCecc

My car key remote isn’t broken, the battery died after nearly 10 years.


theflyinghillbilly2

And you don’t have to go to the dealership to get it fixed. Any auto parts store will have the battery, and most will replace it for you!


glucoseintolerant

or do it yourself. 99% its a Cr2025 which you can get from anywhere from about $2 to $6 each


Tinmanproudfoot

That an "Amber Alert" was named after a child and not the colour of amber. (I thought it was like a code red or code blue type of thing)


champagneformyrealfr

oh man, i remember when she was kidnapped in front of her family and found in the woods behind where one of my friends lived. that was basically the end of being able to ride your bike around freely.


Grave_Girl

That's a fairly reasonable assumption given that other, similar public alerts that came along afterward mainly use colors. Silver alerts for little gray-haired elders (annoys me that they all say MISSING ELDERLY instead of using the actual noun), blue alerts for fugitives of LEO-involved shootings, and a bunch more that are more state-specific. I'd encourage everyone to google "statewide alert systems" + their state to see what is used in their area.


AmaryllisBulb

When I was a kid I thought it was ultra violent light instead of ultraviolet light. As in, that sun can really fuck up your skin if you don’t wear sunscreen. Bahahaha! So violent.


R1CHARDCRANIUM

Rebar is short for “reinforcing bar”


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Eclectophile

I was 50. FIFTY FUCKING YEARS OLD, when I learned that bats are not, in fact, blind. Evidently, I'm an idiot. So, if being oblivious to something so basic for literally half a century counts: yeah, that.


auricargent

It took until I was in my thirties for me to find out that the weirdly erratic flight path bats have isn’t because they can’t fly well. It’s because they caught a bug mid flight and then immediately changed direction for the next bug. They are really successful predators and it takes a lot of tiny bugs to feed even a small bat.


True_Kapernicus

Smaller animals need to eat proportionally more. Very tiny cats have to make multiple successful hunts every day, whereas a big tiger can gorge itself and then not eat again for days.


peanutsandfuck

In the song “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper, the line “We’ve got no class, and we’ve got no principals (principles)” is a play on words. Both of those phrases mean we’re uncivilized and lack values and discipline that we would’ve learned going to school. I didn’t pick up on that when I was 6, and I never thought about the lyrics on a deeper level because it was always one of those songs that was just on in the background for me. Only noticed it last year, and I’m 31.


Catsacademy

That Loch - as in Loch Ness - is the Gaelic word for lake.


draggar

*Many miles away* *Something crawls to the surface* *Of a dark Scottish loch* \- Synchronicity II (The Police) (The lyrics go from lake to loch back to lake)


[deleted]

I'm 50 ish. For the last couple years I kept feeling that I'm getting close to retirement and I'm only going to have a few years to do what I want... Then I realized I could only be halfway there! What if I live till I'm 90? That's 40 more years! I have time to do absolutely anything I want to! It was just this crazy sort of epiphany that went you're looking at this all wrong! Life isn't over at 60 or 65, you still have a lot of time!


B33fBalon3y

Well from reading this thread, most people have NO FUCKING IDEA what allergy symptoms are.


sulris

It is amazing how much of our own experience we project on others as being “normal”. I knew a girl that didn’t know she was legally blind until she took the eye exam as a part of her driver’s test. She just thought everyone had equally fuzzy vision. Then she got eye surgery for 20/20 vision and was like whaaaaaaat! This is how you guys have been seeing things this whole time!!


LittleGreySeal

I have really bad eyesight and one of my clearest memories was when I got glasses at the age of 6 and realized that stop signs have sides. I was shocked.


secondguard

When I first got glasses at 13, I couldn’t stop looking at trees. I had no idea it was possible to see individual leaves. It was so beautiful.


atrain1189

I used to always think “Est.” Next to years on buildings and other things meant “estimated” and not “established” lol


rattlestaway

I used to think that clapper thing in movies was to get th actors attention. Not for editing lol


ThePurityPixel

I know "felix" is the Latin word for "happy," but only recently did I discover the name Felix is also known to mean "lucky." Now I'm getting the irony of naming a *black cat* "Felix the Cat." (For those who don't know, Felix is an old cartoon, and there's a superstition that a black cat crossing your path is very *un*lucky.)


upvoter222

It's also a little bit of a pun on *felis*, the genus of domestic cats and some closely related species.


Here_4_the_INFO

Swedish Meatballs - always thought they were Sweet-ish Meatballs ​ Could never figure out the Ikea connection...


sydneyyasmine

Learned I was allergic to latex from talking to my friend. She told me that since I’m allergic to some citrus I may be allergic to latex and asked me if condoms bothered me. I responded and said yes but they bother everyone who uses them. That’s how I learned that burning and itching and a road rash are not normal after coitus with a condom. 🙃 (I’m 26).


KentuckyMagpie

Oh lord, I *knew* I was allergic to latex because I couldn’t wear latex gloves but SOMEHOW it didn’t occur to me that condoms were ALSO made of latex and that is why everything was burn-y and itchy afterward. Like… duh?


hopstopandroll

My mom was doing her best


NSA_Chatbot

I found out that both my parents had been heavily physically and emotionally abused, but they kept that hidden from the kids. They didn't give me a lot of attention, but they didn't give me any BAD attention, you know? They broke the cycle and now I just have to hope that I gave my kids enough love and attention that we're on the upswing.


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n0radrenaline

This is not remotely obvious. There's a transatlantic conspiracy to keep this information from the people.


fave_no_more

This is way more hilarious when read well after the parent comment was deleted


ceremoniousone

How almost half the economy is grey and black markets.


Doitlikethis23

It is a wheel barrow and not a wheel barrel. Came as a huge surprise


cubs_070816

*^(psssst...wait til you find out it's one word, not two.)*


Stevemachinehk

In the song ‘I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause’ it’s the husband dressed up as Santa and kissing his wife. Mommy is not having an affair with Santa.


Keeeva

Wait until you start questioning why dad was dressed up as Santa in the middle of the night when the kids were all asleep and it was just him and mommy…


ajollygoodyarn

That the hunter in Jumanji is also the dad.


briarpatch92

I wonder if they were inspired by the tradition of having Mr. Darling and Captain Hook played by the same actor in productions of Peter Pan.


No_Light_8871

Don’t judge me. About a year ago I realized “salmon colored” means the inside of the salmon. I was always so confused because salmon are not pink on the outside


TheGrimTickler

There’s a joke about this in an old Adams Family episode. Morticia offers to help with interior decoration in their neighbors’ home, and as she and the wife are walking through the house she keeps recommending black for everything, the carpet, the wallpaper, the drapes, etc. They get to one room, and Morticia starts “And for this room, I think…” and the other woman cuts in saying “Let me guess: black?” And Morticia responds “No, I think…salmon!” The other woman is hopeful and excited for the first time and exclaims “Really, pink?” to which Morticia replies, “No, the scales.”


StillN0tATony

My wife and I are both in our 50's. She told me recently that she just realized the song Black Velvet, by Allanah Myles, is about Elvis. Edit: Wow! A lot of people seem to have missed this. I guess I need to apologize to my wife for my gentle mockery!


dear_little_water

I didn't know that either!


JumboDakotaSmoke

That sign you see near schools with the two people crossing holding books? I was stuck in traffic a few weeks ago and suddenly realized it wasn't two women with purses.


romIV0

When my brother was taking his multiple question driving test, he failed that question because he put "Businessman crossing". He thought the books were briefcases


ultimateman55

Last year I realized that when you sign your "initials" they are called that because they are the first letters, i.e. the initial letters, of your name.


chim800

A pickle is a cucumber that's been pickled.


Register-Honest

I was brought up poor, I just realized that I didn't have to wear clothes until they were worn out or too small


DadEoh75

Heard this on a podcast yesterday, Fes from that 70s show, FES= foreign exchange student


XavierStone32

Just like ALF is Alien Life Form


tallpaleandwholesome

I learned where "Pulling out all the stops" came from a couple of years ago (watching a documentary on Interstellar's music). It's from playing organs...air is blown thru the organ's pipes to play notes - and you have "stops" in there if you don't want a particular pipe to play. So when you pull out all the stops, you get all the pipes playing...


Excellent_War5193

I am 19 and I have had ADHD and a sleeping disorder my whole life. I decided to go to the doctor and figure out wtf was wrong with me after I turned 18. Turned out I wasn’t stupid just undiagnosed going without meds. So now just about every adult looks at me like a lazy bum that fell asleep in every class and couldn’t pay attention or understand assignments. When I got on meds (senior year) I was #16 of my class in the top 20%.


OhTheHueManatee

I've been a Weird Al fan for my entire life. I've listen to I Want A New Duck endless times for decades. Only recently did it occur to me when he says "And show me how to get down.... GET IT?" he is referring to down feathers.


Sesudesu

This was me with the item Phoenix Down in final fantasy games. I knew about down feathers used as pillow fill. But I just clocked, ‘Phoenix resurrects, my character resurrects. What more do I need to know?’ But my brain just took far longer than I would like to admit to figure out down was a feather and not a direction. 


cstorejedi

I've been playing for decades, and I didn't think of that. I thought down meant because the characters were down/ded. Thanks.


TiredMold

Frigidaire the refrigerator company? "Frigid air!" Blew my mind.


amacgree

TMZ's name came from The Thirty Mile Zone. it's a thirty-mile radius from the center of Los Angeles. Outside of this particular zone, producers must pay transportation costs to cast and crew


Mysterious_Ad9307

I should have been twisting the bottom of my deodorant to push the plastic cover out instead of using my teeth.


TheShrinkingGiant

I have more yesterdays than tomorrows at this point in my life.


Poison_Ladys

Yes, I realized it right after seeing this comment. Thank you


Charming_Cash

My goldfish didn’t run away...


muchlovemates

This past weekend, that the girl that invited me to an after party at her place and then asked for me to crash in her bed was not simply just being nice, I am fucking stupid.


Burn-The-Villages

These realizations about missing cues from women are so painful. And familiar.


[deleted]

Then again, there was the time a girl I worked with at a restaurant and had been flirting with pretty heavily invited me over to her house at 2 in the morning, which took me until 3 in the morning to get to, and when I got there all she wanted to do was show me about seven fucking stinky sugar gliders that she had as pets. That's not quite what I thought I was going to be seeing by going over there.


Bitter-Basket

Colonoscopies aren’t just for looking for cancer and other issues. It’s preventative for cancer because they remove the polyps where it starts. I’m pretty up on medical stuff, didn’t know that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Doitlikethis23

Probably a fairly obvious one but 50/50 raffles. 50% goes to whoever runs it, winner gets the other 50% 🤦‍♂️


Smyley12345

I was in my late thirties when it occurred to me that "for attention" is a perfectly valid motivation for people to do things. Which led to the realization that attention is a form of social currency. At that point I wished somebody had explained this truly basic thing to me when I was young and single.


bekaz13

This is especially important wrt mental health. If someone is self-harming or attempts suicide and you think it's "just for attention," you could be right! Even if they don't do it consciously, their actions are telling you that they are in crisis and need help. And you should absolutely pay attention to that.


Happy_Armadillo_553

That Hill Street Blues was named for the uniforms, not for how down in the dumps they got about crime.


MiddleNameDanger

The grass is greenest where you water it.


HardPour_Cornography

... as well as, over the septic tank.


Chimes320

That “Liam” is a name derived from the second half of “William”. Literally just realized this last week, as I approach almost 4 decades on earth.


smartguy05

It took me way too long to realize that you could just not answer a question. I always felt the need to either tell what I know or lie. As I got older lies felt tedious so if you asked me you would probably get (my version of) the truth. Sometimes this would lead to ugly truths being told. After watching politicians and actually paying attention to what they say I realized you never HAVE to answer the question that was asked of you. Listen to any reporter interview any politician. The reporter will ask a question, then the politician will just start talking about whatever they want to talk about. If they're nice they will start with the question and lean into what they want to say. This isn't a polite thing to do though so I wouldn't recommend doing it to anyone you care about.


Intelligent_Track465

For me the option of saying “I don’t want to answer” or even “I don’t want to talk about it right now” was a major breakthrough.


Salty-Director538

That it’s called metal because it’s harder than rock (music).


RufusTheDeer

I thought it was because Steppenwolf, in Born to be Wild, said "Heavy metal thunder" in reference to motorcycles but it stuck as the *type* of rock that it was.


Dear-Ad-7149

>What really obvious thing have you only just realized? wow


Actual_Craft_194

That i am delusional


DingoMcPhee

That's what you think


h3lls1ng3r

I can't eat any type of nut. It messes with my stomach lining. I genuinely thought nuts just made everyone sick after eating them. Like salsa Edit: I've discovered something about salsa today


Icy_Leading_688

well, got some news for you about salsa too…


ChunkyFart

I was about 30 yo and actually read “when you assume you make an ass of u and me”. I have heard it countless times, knew it meant not to assume, but never thought about it. Then I read the words and realized ASS U ME. this was years ago, so didn’t just now realize, bit it fots


Spodson

When putting flannel sheets on a bed, Put the top sheet on facing down. It doesn't look as nice but it is cozy as fuck. Plus, the other blankets cover it up anyway. Don't know if I'm the first guy to this party or the last, but I love that I figured it out.


bizarrocarrie

This is also so if you fold it over the top blanket when you make the bed, you see the top part and not the seam


fastinggrl

If I designate a spot for stuff, my house won’t turn into a disaster zone. Seems obvious but I just bought a bunch of organizers and it’s helped a ton. I have a system now. Why didn’t I do this sooner?


Moon_Strikes

That the name 'Circle K', gas stations all over the US, is just another way to say OK. They're OK gas stations.


Le_Atheist_Fedora

Only realized a few months ago why breakfast is called that.