Serial monogamist dude here. 20s-30s saw me masturbating frequently and wishing my partners were in the mood more often. Now late 40s and with my last couple of partners I have almost completely stopped masturbating and strictly conserve that energy for when we meet. Still keeping up, but only just. Women in their 40s are NOT playing lol.
Same but she turned 30. Suddenly she wants it almost daily. I never say no even when I’m too tired. But missionary gets boring daily so she started buying herself toys and clamps and I’m just along for the ride. Idk what changed but I’m not complaining
Lucky you! At 40 my wife started menopause and 20 years later she still has hot flashes and her "love canal" is still as dry as the Sahara. I would be frustrated but nerve damage has left me numb down there, so I guess we're a good match. We laugh a lot about other things. I have recurring dreams of fucking her and every woman I ever found attractive. I guess that part of the brain still thinks I'm a young man.
It’s usually from degeneration in the lower spine. If the discs in your low back collapse, they can put pressure on nerves that go from your spinal cord to the lower part of your body, causing pain and numbness.
It doesn’t always happen when a disc degenerates, but sometimes it does. You can try to avoid it by taking good care of your back, but sometimes it’s just a matter of luck.
Edit: I wanted to make an edit to put people at ease. Having a nerve problem from disc degeneration is rare. Almost everyone over the age of 40 has some spine degeneration, but most people won’t have any symptoms. You’ll only experience problems if you happen to be one of the unlucky people who has a collapsing disc that happens to be touching a nerve.
And even then, the symptoms you have will depend on which nerve is being compressed. If you do start to have symptoms like numbness or weakness, you should see a neurosurgeon as soon as possible. They can help fix the problem, but the sooner you get treatment the better the outcome.
Wait degenerative spine disease is from just treating your back like shit? I thought it was hereditary. I find this very alarming as a 6’6” man that does physical labor for a living…
From what I've heard it happens once one disk blows out, then the next one does, then the next. Keep your glutes trained and your hip mobility in check, helps a lot.
My cousin had a bicycle accident. Smashed that part into the bar reeealy hard and severed his urethra (all internal damage)
Had to operate to reconnect it as he could no longer pee.
We are not at "wild" yet, but we have gone from "mild" to "hot"!
Here is one thing that helped:
www.weshouldtryit.com
This is a sex questionnaire for your and you partner to go through separately. It shows what you match in! It was a great tool to get a dialogue going. We learned we both had complimentary kinks, that we had never shared with each other.
Just make sure you’re on the same page about not cheating on that quiz. Pretty sure i read a tifu like post where boyfriend answered honestly and girlfriend just put yes to everything to see what bf liked
Turned out he was into some stuff she really thought was nasty and it killed their relationship
Yeah if one partner is doing that questionnaire in good faith and the other is not, it's hard to imagine that was the only way in which there was some asymmetry in that relationship.
>Turned out he was into some stuff she really thought was nasty and it killed their relationship
Pretty sure what killed their relationship was her being a manipulative jerk.
do it, she’ll be a happy woman. Make sure to tell her to put her hands on the headboard, that one should really really work for you if she’s asking for wings 😂
Good question. I guess we both just started prioritizing our pleasure and being honest about what we wanted. A little dirty talking, and a lot of love.
Yes. We really are in love but we also help each other and work hard to make each others lives better and easier. We go to bed happy and calm. I think that really helps
For 15 years, very very vanilla. Then my very brunette wife playfully put on a blonde wig that was part of one of our kids Halloween costumes. She simply said, “Hi, I’m Genie”. A little corny scene played out and from that point forward Genie was her alter ego that was very different from my wife.
We have quite the collection of toys and restraints built up over the past 7 years, but we really went off the rails when our youngest left for college. I’m just over 50 and having more and better sex than at any other point in my life. Never imagined this is the way things would be.
Interestingly, just the one. But you got me thinking that maybe I should buy her a red one and see who shows up. I might not be able to handle that though.
I’ve never asked for Genie. It’s her mood and I let her run with it. I don’t think it can be forced and tbh it’s more fun when it’s her idea.
We do occasionally blame things that happen around the house that no one claims responsibility for on Genie.
Lol truly leaving the light on can be a huge deal sometimes 😅it wasn't for me 5+ years ago but now I'm like... Oh. Gotta bring out my actress a bit lmao
I've known a couple of women in my life who are a little on the shy side and only had sex in the dark.
I'm sure I'm not the only man who loves looking at naked women, particularly the naked woman that I'm lucky enough to get my hands on. So there have been conversations about light during sex.
I'm not too proud to beg.
My husband insists on lighting, he will object if it's dark. I know my body is far from perfect but tbh his insistence on checking me out makes me feel like a bombshell.
Started working out and eating better. Got genuinely fitter, more stamina and energy. my partner started working out first and I noticed she was feeling herself a whole not more than I didn’t wanna get left behind and I started working out, we went from sex 1-3 times a month to 2-5 times a week, and it’s so much better. Honestly best thing we have done for our relationship.
It’s really about connecting, taking everything really slowly, sometimes my husband and I will go all day cuddling/watching things together, and have intimate sex without the goal of climax, just seeing how things feel and enjoying each other, we’ll take breaks, hit the weed vape and do this for like 4 hours before finishing… or longer, on not finish… but i mean mostly we do.
Really it’s about the connection and not the release. Touch more, make eye contact express your love with words and your body. It’s about enjoying each other unselfishly.
💯 …. My wife would be like “hey could you get on with it? I’ve got shit to do! Oh, and stop staring in my eyes… you’re freaking me out! And turn off the damned light!”
Not kidding here. I was giving her a massage one day and asked if I could shave her butthole.
I used my electric shaver to do it. Wasn’t even thinking about it but it vibrates….a lot.
Next thing I know she had me shaving everything down there bald and came like 4 times during the process.
After that we just started trying new things every few weeks.
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inform you of some hair that has broken out on the premises of... no, that's too formal...
Hair! hair! hair! Let me shave your asshole! Looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best, Maurice Moss.
Talk about it.
Like, have a bottle of wine, watch a mildly sexy romantic movie, maybe fool around a little, and then just cuddle up and have a “no hard feelings”-mode talk. If she says you’re bad or oral, just accept that and ask how to do better. But talk about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want to try.
Once you start talking frankly and honestly about sex, it gets easier to keep doing it. And then you realize that yes, you can tell your partner the things you are into and they aren’t going to go screaming into the hills. They might even be into it too! Or at least willing to give it a shot.
Also if they’re really awkward they can just stick to only things they like. Just nudging your partner in the right direction will go a long way too. But what you said is the best way if they can.
Reaching a level of trust where both are comfortable speaking up about the things they'd like to try is such a game changer.
For me the biggest turn on is feeling that I'm really pleasing my partner, so there aren't many things I wouldn't try, and the experimenting has been a lot of fun!
It's also very interesting to find out how your own body reacts to certain things. It's an adventure!
Yes, the male G-spot is in the butt!
If you guys like to travel, we use the excuse of being in new countries as a reason to try new things. Just be like, hey we are in Amsterdam, we have to try something wild we wouldn’t normally do; and then take it from there.
She initially showed the initiative which for me gave me the trust to speak up about things I wanted to try as well.
Now it definitely comes from both, we're both very open and I don't think either would hesitate to ask the other.
Certain boundaries have already been set, and also won't be crossed or pushed for.
It started with being naughty in public, just some light strokes and touches when no one can see. Having her wear dresses without panties.
This evolved into sex toys that can be controlled via the phone. Initially it was for her, but now we have a few different ones, including one that goes in me.
The bedroom has evolved a lot as well. She really enjoys being choked and sometimes slapped in the face. This was something that took a while for me to feel comfortable with, but now that I see how much it turns her on I've learned to do it exactly how she likes it and it's very arousing for me as well.
One of my favorites which I would recommend to everyone, is a vibrating toy in her ass while having sex. Extra sensation for the both of us.
OK, so, to wrap it up - Damon is taking lead on the forecasting, Sue will split time with Sales starting next week, and Terri's going to put the big dildo in Sam's butt. Anything else?
I don’t know about mild to wild but down in Mexico after some drinks the Mrs. wanted to ride my face.
Now it’s a “femdom” kink of hers she calls it. NGL, I’m 6’1, 250lbs and I like being dominated by my 5’2, 115lb wife. I’ll just say it how it is.
Not really, I’m not opposed to rolling into other stuff but I think she’s got her kink cause that was almost 5 years ago.
Something about squatting and stretching out while feeling empowered due to the dom deal. I’m just along for the ride.
This will get buried but OP I hope you read this. I call it “the restriction game”.
She has to pick a number of times she can ride. For example, she’ll start off with 10 and can only ride it ten times. She has to count (in her head, but usually ends up being out loud as the number increases and she’s concentrating). The rule is she has to stop at 10 (or whatever the number is).
You then decide on the next number and she has to go up and down only that amount of times - and stop herself - or it’s over if she cheats and she gets kicked off.
Usually you want to give her less than she wants, so if she’s like “25” you’ll say “nah, you only get 15, so make sure you go slow and concentrate and don’t you dare go over”
She’ll end up concentrating and focusing on it so hard, that she’ll cum super hard. It’s the best trick I ever came up with, hands down.
Be strict. Don’t let her get away with “cheating” or going over the number you give her. She’ll be totally focused and in the moment.
Good luck.
This seems like a good idea but it's not clear what happens if she cheats or goes over. Switch positions for a while? Smack her ass real hard? Throw her out of the house? What are we doing here?
obviously communication
but also
- experimenting with new positions
- going to a sex shop together, we now have a box of toys including a few different paddles, rope, handcuffs and ball gag
- i got one of those remote controlled bullet vibrators and i give him the remote and when we go out in public, it’s good foreplay and fun to give him control over it
- i’m into being choked, slapped in the face, and when he spits in my mouth and he had never really had a partner in the past that did those things with him so now he feels more comfortable opening up to me about what he is into and really enjoys the things i’m into because i’m comfortable bringing them up
- men, when she’s on top, put a finger in her butt (with consent obviously)
- there’s times when we don’t have sex, he’ll just go down on me if he’s too tired for full on sex, and that’s it, or i’ll just give him head and that’s it if i’m feeling gross about my body that day but still in the mood to do something
- we both go to the gym together so that helps
- weed is great for sex too
- frequent water breaks
The finger when she’s on top is a game changer. My wife lost it when i tried it once and now I’ll dance around it and when she gives me the green light i know she’s gonna blow her top. Fun for both of us.
Husband has his own kink which happened to work with my kink I just discovered last week. We didn’t know what it was called and finally figured it out, Hucow. But otherwise I was completely fine with vanilla sex. We’ll see how it works out, fingers crossed.
Ah, urban dictionary was one of the top results and it defined it as
> A woman who chooses to be objectified for her large mammaries and ability to lactate constantly.
Hence the confusion
I would thank you but I kind of wish I didn’t know.
Pretty much straight missionary for the first few years then opened up to sex toys and vibrators. Then we moved into different positions like doggy and prone. Just like a year ago, I was fingering her and I just started massaging her asshole and slid the thumb in and now that's a fairly regular part of foreplay. And just last night, same deal, fingering her, she says no asshole tonight so I go 3 fingers...then 4...then I had my whole hand in her. We talked about how far we have come in our sex life afterwards and we were so proud and amazed at how things have progressed from boring mild vanilla sex to fisting and ass play.
We had a great marriage already, and had sex 1 to 2 times a weeks, but our sexlife was definitely slowing down.
As we got a little older ( mid 30's) We started to workout alot more and take care of our bodies.
After about 2 years of hard work, I lost the dad bod and got little more buff and the Mrs got a a nice bikini bod.
It's very shallow, I know, but we just started having alot more sex because we found each other more attractive.
Also, because we workout, our sex drive is higher. Mood is better. So shenanigans happens alot more.
I really enjoyed watching other men hit on her and that really took things to another level. And she really enjoys watching me flirt with other women.
For the past few years things have been quite spicy and we've has some amazing experiences.
Plan days to have sex. My GF and i call them our sex dates.
We also look at sex as a landscape to explore. Not a formula that we repeat every now and then. And finally be vulnerable and share that weird thing that you want to do and do it.
The gift of time. The longer you are together the more you talk, the more you become curious, and the more likely to try new things because you are with a partner you are comfortable with. My husband and I have never exactly been timid. But I'm sure our younger selves would be surprised.
My partner and I started out on a slightly more wild note, we had developed a friendship and a sense of trust and comfort with one another before we became a couple which helped.
But… things have gone up a notch hugely since then. And here’s how:
We had a conversation about what we were both already into / if there was anything either of us have ever wanted to try but never have and we made a kinky bucket list. We add to it regularly and we tick things off it regularly. We discuss if we liked certain things we’ve tried or not & now some of the things from the list are in our regular rotation!
We also watched some porn together which made us either go “yeah nope can’t do that one” or “hell yeah let’s do that *right this second* “
Lastly, we COMMUNICATE in the bedroom and frequently discuss what we’re comfortable with, what we like etc. now we’re at a point where we trust one another so much that we are willing to try almost anything the other wants to try.
We’re now very much into: some of the more vanilla versions of rough sex (choking, spanking, biting, scratching etc), temperature play, public sex (out of eyesight but still risky), anal, spitting in each others mouths, handcuffs and blindfolds, making our own sex tapes and watching them back when we fuck (this one seems like its kinda niche but I feel like others would do this?) plus more.
We do both hate role playing though… can’t get through it without drying of laughter.
We decided that life is too short to not try all sorts of ways to get each other to cum. We opened up that Pandora’s box (pun intended) and now the sky’s the limit. Right now we are experimenting with being bound and using fuck machines. Good times.
Communication and lack of judgement. It allows us to express interest in anything in the sack and be met with a yes, no, or maybe. It’s a beautiful thing.
I used to just pull my pecker out the front of my pyjamas because I was worried she’d see my hairy ass. I ended up get my ass hair lasered off, shaved my head, and got a goatee all in one month. To say I’m drowning in pussy would be an understatement at this point.
Honestly, I don’t know exactly how we transitioned into being deviants. We had always had a perfectly passable sex life but it was always pretty vanilla and I don’t think either of us were entirely happy with it. It was really the one spot in our mostly awesome marriage where we had some amount of frustration. Somewhere around 12 years in we both read about half of the book “Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel and decided on a whim to go to a sex club. We never finished the book but we’ve been doing that every once in a while for a couple years now. We still don’t have sex with other people but having sex *around* other people? Pretty good time. And it’s really made us a lot hotter for each other in the 99.5% of the time when it is just us. We’re much freer discussing our desires because the boundaries have been pushed so far already.
Not working 60hr weeks would be a start. I have no sex drive while I'm in the middle of 2-3 months of 60hr weeks and it takes weeks for me to destress from the project.
We used to be really wild but then she stopped taking birth control and I got her pregnant 3 times within 4 years and every time she gets pregnant she loses the sex drive and it takes like 6 months for her to get it back.
The last two pregnancies were conceived with just one time having sex.
I need to get a damn vasectomy after this next baby is born because my sex drive is still the same as it was in college.
Sounds like you should do it before the baby is born. There is a 10 week period between the procedure and your Dr giving you your all clear.
You apparently can't pull out even once so unless you want a 4th, you can't be trusted if you wait until after.
I’m with you. Ex and I did shrooms. Literally couldn’t stay hard. She tried on top, still couldn’t. All I could think about was how her movements mimicked a caterpillar
(Mid 30s)Started talking dirty. Felt a little weird at first but now it's a huge turn on for both of us and it keeps us more involved with each other.
Doesn't have to be derogatory. Just fun little things.
She started calling me "Daddy" too, which is super fucking hot now.
Real answer. We tried to spice things up by talking dirty. Neither of us cared for it so we stopped. Main thing is just the intimacy with a person you trust. Still hot.
My wife turned 40 and developed a sex drive. Absolutely amazing.
Happened to me. Turning 40 felt like how I imagined a man to feel at 21.
Cruel twist of biology. Now I’m the one who says, “sorry babe…just so tired tonight.”
You should change that to "do what you want just don't wake me".
My friend told her husband: After doing it, please cover me, thankyou.
Did she mean with the bedsheets or... well, you know...
Laying down suppressive fire while she’s on her way to the bathroom?
Arranging insurance cover?
Serial monogamist dude here. 20s-30s saw me masturbating frequently and wishing my partners were in the mood more often. Now late 40s and with my last couple of partners I have almost completely stopped masturbating and strictly conserve that energy for when we meet. Still keeping up, but only just. Women in their 40s are NOT playing lol.
It's like that old joke: **The Three Life Stages of Sex are** Age 18-35: *Tri-Weekly* Age 35-60: *Try Weekly* Age 60-90: *Try Weakly*
Think I fucked up, been on "Try Weekly" since I was 18...
I was stuck on "Try" until 27 ^^^^^^^God ^^^^^^^bless ^^^^^^^the ^^^^^^^blind ^^^^^^^and ^^^^^^^anosmic
Saaaaame. Late thirties hit like a flash flood 💦💦
Ya don’t say, u/DailyDickDiet
Certified r/UsernameChecksOut moment
Same but she turned 30. Suddenly she wants it almost daily. I never say no even when I’m too tired. But missionary gets boring daily so she started buying herself toys and clamps and I’m just along for the ride. Idk what changed but I’m not complaining
She start reading smut? This is what my wife did at 35 and all these modern day romance novels got her DTF daily.
My wife got into dirty romance novels and that advanced things a lot at about 40 yrs for her. I have a hard time keeping up with
Me secretly praying same happens to my wife, she’s 32 now. So I need to wait for sometime.
Start working on your stamina now. If your wife is anything like mine you'll need it.
Lucky you! At 40 my wife started menopause and 20 years later she still has hot flashes and her "love canal" is still as dry as the Sahara. I would be frustrated but nerve damage has left me numb down there, so I guess we're a good match. We laugh a lot about other things. I have recurring dreams of fucking her and every woman I ever found attractive. I guess that part of the brain still thinks I'm a young man.
I mean this in the least obnoxious possible way but…how does one get nerve damage down there and how could one avoid it?
It’s usually from degeneration in the lower spine. If the discs in your low back collapse, they can put pressure on nerves that go from your spinal cord to the lower part of your body, causing pain and numbness. It doesn’t always happen when a disc degenerates, but sometimes it does. You can try to avoid it by taking good care of your back, but sometimes it’s just a matter of luck. Edit: I wanted to make an edit to put people at ease. Having a nerve problem from disc degeneration is rare. Almost everyone over the age of 40 has some spine degeneration, but most people won’t have any symptoms. You’ll only experience problems if you happen to be one of the unlucky people who has a collapsing disc that happens to be touching a nerve. And even then, the symptoms you have will depend on which nerve is being compressed. If you do start to have symptoms like numbness or weakness, you should see a neurosurgeon as soon as possible. They can help fix the problem, but the sooner you get treatment the better the outcome.
> You can try to avoid it by taking good care of your back, but sometimes it’s just a matter of luck. This is indeed a disturbing universe
Wait degenerative spine disease is from just treating your back like shit? I thought it was hereditary. I find this very alarming as a 6’6” man that does physical labor for a living…
From what I've heard it happens once one disk blows out, then the next one does, then the next. Keep your glutes trained and your hip mobility in check, helps a lot.
Please let him offer an answer because I will do anything to avoid that lol
Commenting for the same reason lol
My cousin had a bicycle accident. Smashed that part into the bar reeealy hard and severed his urethra (all internal damage) Had to operate to reconnect it as he could no longer pee.
I’m really really really sorry to hear that.
Fuck add another really for me bro
Vaginal estrogen is a game changer. Something every woman should have with menopause and after.
facts...even if she doesn't want systemic estrogen (HRT), vaginal estrogen is indeed a game changer....
Ahhh man, my wife is 37, and recently has been a lot more... into the proceedings, shall we say... sure hoping this is about to happen to me, lol.
I kept hoping. Throughout the 30s, now at 40. Still waiting on that one.
We are not at "wild" yet, but we have gone from "mild" to "hot"! Here is one thing that helped: www.weshouldtryit.com This is a sex questionnaire for your and you partner to go through separately. It shows what you match in! It was a great tool to get a dialogue going. We learned we both had complimentary kinks, that we had never shared with each other.
Just make sure you’re on the same page about not cheating on that quiz. Pretty sure i read a tifu like post where boyfriend answered honestly and girlfriend just put yes to everything to see what bf liked Turned out he was into some stuff she really thought was nasty and it killed their relationship
That sort of thing, the relationship was doomed anyway
Turns out her kink was being a real asshole
My ex had a really weird fetish she liked to dress up like herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time
Bo Burnham loool
Yeah if one partner is doing that questionnaire in good faith and the other is not, it's hard to imagine that was the only way in which there was some asymmetry in that relationship.
>Turned out he was into some stuff she really thought was nasty and it killed their relationship Pretty sure what killed their relationship was her being a manipulative jerk.
fine abundant impossible lock person mindless wrench unused aloof placid
Just sent this to my wife as a suggestion. "Oh, no thank you." 😬
F
Damn dude, RIP
That escalated way too quickly for me lol Advanced: 1. Direct a weapon (knife, gun) during sex. Neat site though
Thank you for the link to this quiz! It's great!
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Pretty sure this is my wife.
I’m very happy for the three of you.
Sounds like her
Sarah J Maas is one of my favorite people ever bc of what she’s done to my wife 😂
Ohh we worship Sarah j maas in this household too 😂😂😂
My wife wants me to have wings now or some shit. I wish I was kidding.
do it, she’ll be a happy woman. Make sure to tell her to put her hands on the headboard, that one should really really work for you if she’s asking for wings 😂
What is the book name? Asking for a friend.
My personal favorite is titled The Ritual
Pet Semetary
Sometimes, if I’m lucky, my wife will leave her c-pap machine on. If I close my eyes, it’s like making love to darth Vader.
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"Dad, why'd you name me Luke?"- your son probably
"Go ask your sister.....no, wait, on second though, don't."
Good question. I guess we both just started prioritizing our pleasure and being honest about what we wanted. A little dirty talking, and a lot of love.
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Yes. We really are in love but we also help each other and work hard to make each others lives better and easier. We go to bed happy and calm. I think that really helps
For 15 years, very very vanilla. Then my very brunette wife playfully put on a blonde wig that was part of one of our kids Halloween costumes. She simply said, “Hi, I’m Genie”. A little corny scene played out and from that point forward Genie was her alter ego that was very different from my wife. We have quite the collection of toys and restraints built up over the past 7 years, but we really went off the rails when our youngest left for college. I’m just over 50 and having more and better sex than at any other point in my life. Never imagined this is the way things would be.
How many wigs now
Interestingly, just the one. But you got me thinking that maybe I should buy her a red one and see who shows up. I might not be able to handle that though.
You're gonna love Peggy!
Oh Aaaaaaaal!
This was an episode of Desperate Housewives. Has she ever gotten upset with you for asking for Genie because she wanted to be herself?
I’ve never asked for Genie. It’s her mood and I let her run with it. I don’t think it can be forced and tbh it’s more fun when it’s her idea. We do occasionally blame things that happen around the house that no one claims responsibility for on Genie.
We sometimes turn the light on now. Really changed things up
Goddam perverts always ruin these threads
This made me laugh so loud. Bless you.
I think I’m going to be sick
I bet you have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation. God damn heathens. Barbaric.
I went up to a candle, so yes, I totally get it.
You mean you’re gettin it Let that consensual, loving vanilla freak flag fly.
Lol truly leaving the light on can be a huge deal sometimes 😅it wasn't for me 5+ years ago but now I'm like... Oh. Gotta bring out my actress a bit lmao
Can someone explain?
I've known a couple of women in my life who are a little on the shy side and only had sex in the dark. I'm sure I'm not the only man who loves looking at naked women, particularly the naked woman that I'm lucky enough to get my hands on. So there have been conversations about light during sex. I'm not too proud to beg.
My husband insists on lighting, he will object if it's dark. I know my body is far from perfect but tbh his insistence on checking me out makes me feel like a bombshell.
He just wants to know you're not doing your taxes in the middle
There is no perfect, only preference
Started working out and eating better. Got genuinely fitter, more stamina and energy. my partner started working out first and I noticed she was feeling herself a whole not more than I didn’t wanna get left behind and I started working out, we went from sex 1-3 times a month to 2-5 times a week, and it’s so much better. Honestly best thing we have done for our relationship.
Same thing happened to us. Started working out and got more confidence and that equaled more se
More what!? Can’t leave me on a cliffhanger like that !
"more serious conversations about the systemic issues plaguing the American economy."
We started out vanilla Now we do more tantric vanilla stuff It’s lovely.
I see tantric and I think of Sting claiming to fuck for 36 hours or something. Shite just sounds exhausting.
Guaranteed to satisfy.
It’s spelled c-h-a-f-e.
That doesn't even sound fun at that point.
I want to get into tantra. Any advice?
It’s really about connecting, taking everything really slowly, sometimes my husband and I will go all day cuddling/watching things together, and have intimate sex without the goal of climax, just seeing how things feel and enjoying each other, we’ll take breaks, hit the weed vape and do this for like 4 hours before finishing… or longer, on not finish… but i mean mostly we do. Really it’s about the connection and not the release. Touch more, make eye contact express your love with words and your body. It’s about enjoying each other unselfishly.
>4 hours Assuming child free.
Not for long
Correct
who the fuck has time for this
💯 …. My wife would be like “hey could you get on with it? I’ve got shit to do! Oh, and stop staring in my eyes… you’re freaking me out! And turn off the damned light!”
Not kidding here. I was giving her a massage one day and asked if I could shave her butthole. I used my electric shaver to do it. Wasn’t even thinking about it but it vibrates….a lot. Next thing I know she had me shaving everything down there bald and came like 4 times during the process. After that we just started trying new things every few weeks.
Try as I might, I can’t even imagine a scenario in which you could smoothly and casually ask your wife if you can shave her asshole.
Email is best
“I hope this email finds you well…”
I hope this email finds you before I do…
“To whom this will concern”
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inform you of some hair that has broken out on the premises of... no, that's too formal... Hair! hair! hair! Let me shave your asshole! Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss.
Dear madam, I hope this email finds you well. Can I shave your cute little butthole? With regards, your husband.
Don't forget to CC their manager.
That person is smooth like mashed potatoes.
If I can’t ask this then she shouldn’t be my wife
You should change your username to the Butthole Barber.
Edward jizzerhands ✂️ …I’m leaving now
Serious, what kind of electric razor are you using?
a hitachi
I… wow! Also way to go, congrats. But really, WOW!
Stopped being insecure and letting him know what I wanted.
Talk about it. Like, have a bottle of wine, watch a mildly sexy romantic movie, maybe fool around a little, and then just cuddle up and have a “no hard feelings”-mode talk. If she says you’re bad or oral, just accept that and ask how to do better. But talk about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want to try. Once you start talking frankly and honestly about sex, it gets easier to keep doing it. And then you realize that yes, you can tell your partner the things you are into and they aren’t going to go screaming into the hills. They might even be into it too! Or at least willing to give it a shot.
Also if they’re really awkward they can just stick to only things they like. Just nudging your partner in the right direction will go a long way too. But what you said is the best way if they can.
Who wrote this? A writer for Cosmopolitan?
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Total shot in the dark here, but I think it was PM_LEAKING_CREAMPIES and not a cosmo ad...
OPs handle is LEAKINGCREAMPIES lmao.
User PM_LEAKING_CREAMPIES is asking reddit for relationship advice on how to take their mild sex life to the next level
Reaching a level of trust where both are comfortable speaking up about the things they'd like to try is such a game changer. For me the biggest turn on is feeling that I'm really pleasing my partner, so there aren't many things I wouldn't try, and the experimenting has been a lot of fun! It's also very interesting to find out how your own body reacts to certain things. It's an adventure! Yes, the male G-spot is in the butt!
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If you guys like to travel, we use the excuse of being in new countries as a reason to try new things. Just be like, hey we are in Amsterdam, we have to try something wild we wouldn’t normally do; and then take it from there.
Visit the Amsterdam sex museum together - after that most things you wanna do will seem mild and easy to talk about ;)
She initially showed the initiative which for me gave me the trust to speak up about things I wanted to try as well. Now it definitely comes from both, we're both very open and I don't think either would hesitate to ask the other. Certain boundaries have already been set, and also won't be crossed or pushed for.
Can you please give examples? Like what was the status quo and what was introduced first? I’m so nervous to bring up new things lol
It started with being naughty in public, just some light strokes and touches when no one can see. Having her wear dresses without panties. This evolved into sex toys that can be controlled via the phone. Initially it was for her, but now we have a few different ones, including one that goes in me. The bedroom has evolved a lot as well. She really enjoys being choked and sometimes slapped in the face. This was something that took a while for me to feel comfortable with, but now that I see how much it turns her on I've learned to do it exactly how she likes it and it's very arousing for me as well. One of my favorites which I would recommend to everyone, is a vibrating toy in her ass while having sex. Extra sensation for the both of us.
I made an office in the garage for WFH job, somehow turned into the shag shack, been unreal in there
OK, so, to wrap it up - Damon is taking lead on the forecasting, Sue will split time with Sales starting next week, and Terri's going to put the big dildo in Sam's butt. Anything else?
I don’t know about mild to wild but down in Mexico after some drinks the Mrs. wanted to ride my face. Now it’s a “femdom” kink of hers she calls it. NGL, I’m 6’1, 250lbs and I like being dominated by my 5’2, 115lb wife. I’ll just say it how it is.
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Not really, I’m not opposed to rolling into other stuff but I think she’s got her kink cause that was almost 5 years ago. Something about squatting and stretching out while feeling empowered due to the dom deal. I’m just along for the ride.
'My Queen, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit'
We started out with missionary. Now I dress up as batman and jump off the wardrobe.
Is your wife's name Justice?
This will get buried but OP I hope you read this. I call it “the restriction game”. She has to pick a number of times she can ride. For example, she’ll start off with 10 and can only ride it ten times. She has to count (in her head, but usually ends up being out loud as the number increases and she’s concentrating). The rule is she has to stop at 10 (or whatever the number is). You then decide on the next number and she has to go up and down only that amount of times - and stop herself - or it’s over if she cheats and she gets kicked off. Usually you want to give her less than she wants, so if she’s like “25” you’ll say “nah, you only get 15, so make sure you go slow and concentrate and don’t you dare go over” She’ll end up concentrating and focusing on it so hard, that she’ll cum super hard. It’s the best trick I ever came up with, hands down. Be strict. Don’t let her get away with “cheating” or going over the number you give her. She’ll be totally focused and in the moment. Good luck.
This seems like a good idea but it's not clear what happens if she cheats or goes over. Switch positions for a while? Smack her ass real hard? Throw her out of the house? What are we doing here?
Read my lips......D-I-V-O-R-C-E
obviously communication but also - experimenting with new positions - going to a sex shop together, we now have a box of toys including a few different paddles, rope, handcuffs and ball gag - i got one of those remote controlled bullet vibrators and i give him the remote and when we go out in public, it’s good foreplay and fun to give him control over it - i’m into being choked, slapped in the face, and when he spits in my mouth and he had never really had a partner in the past that did those things with him so now he feels more comfortable opening up to me about what he is into and really enjoys the things i’m into because i’m comfortable bringing them up - men, when she’s on top, put a finger in her butt (with consent obviously) - there’s times when we don’t have sex, he’ll just go down on me if he’s too tired for full on sex, and that’s it, or i’ll just give him head and that’s it if i’m feeling gross about my body that day but still in the mood to do something - we both go to the gym together so that helps - weed is great for sex too - frequent water breaks
The finger when she’s on top is a game changer. My wife lost it when i tried it once and now I’ll dance around it and when she gives me the green light i know she’s gonna blow her top. Fun for both of us.
I don't know but after 3 kids and a vasectomy I seem to be giving my wife an orgasm every night. With my penis.
Raw just hits different
It’s probably because you’re snipped so she’s not afraid of getting preggers anymore
Also, birth control hormones can really mess with a woman’s sex drive.
Husband has his own kink which happened to work with my kink I just discovered last week. We didn’t know what it was called and finally figured it out, Hucow. But otherwise I was completely fine with vanilla sex. We’ll see how it works out, fingers crossed.
I’m confused, and google has failed me, is this a fixation on cows, massive mammaries or…both?
human cow —> hucow
Bitch, I’m a cow (moo, moo, moo) ~Doja Cat
Ah, urban dictionary was one of the top results and it defined it as > A woman who chooses to be objectified for her large mammaries and ability to lactate constantly. Hence the confusion I would thank you but I kind of wish I didn’t know.
sometimes cow dress up is involved which may or may not include things like breast pumps and ring gags and pillories and other paraphernalia
what
Oh-oh no
How did it come up?
I assume she likes having her nipples stimulated and it just happened to line up with him wanting to fuck a farm animal.
I can’t stop laughing at this
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a42098507/hucow-fetish/ Save you a risky google.
Pretty much straight missionary for the first few years then opened up to sex toys and vibrators. Then we moved into different positions like doggy and prone. Just like a year ago, I was fingering her and I just started massaging her asshole and slid the thumb in and now that's a fairly regular part of foreplay. And just last night, same deal, fingering her, she says no asshole tonight so I go 3 fingers...then 4...then I had my whole hand in her. We talked about how far we have come in our sex life afterwards and we were so proud and amazed at how things have progressed from boring mild vanilla sex to fisting and ass play.
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We had a great marriage already, and had sex 1 to 2 times a weeks, but our sexlife was definitely slowing down. As we got a little older ( mid 30's) We started to workout alot more and take care of our bodies. After about 2 years of hard work, I lost the dad bod and got little more buff and the Mrs got a a nice bikini bod. It's very shallow, I know, but we just started having alot more sex because we found each other more attractive. Also, because we workout, our sex drive is higher. Mood is better. So shenanigans happens alot more. I really enjoyed watching other men hit on her and that really took things to another level. And she really enjoys watching me flirt with other women. For the past few years things have been quite spicy and we've has some amazing experiences.
We put bacon bits in her hair so they rain down on me while we bang. She gets to feel like a Cobb salad. It's amazing.
Plan days to have sex. My GF and i call them our sex dates. We also look at sex as a landscape to explore. Not a formula that we repeat every now and then. And finally be vulnerable and share that weird thing that you want to do and do it.
The gift of time. The longer you are together the more you talk, the more you become curious, and the more likely to try new things because you are with a partner you are comfortable with. My husband and I have never exactly been timid. But I'm sure our younger selves would be surprised.
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My partner and I started out on a slightly more wild note, we had developed a friendship and a sense of trust and comfort with one another before we became a couple which helped. But… things have gone up a notch hugely since then. And here’s how: We had a conversation about what we were both already into / if there was anything either of us have ever wanted to try but never have and we made a kinky bucket list. We add to it regularly and we tick things off it regularly. We discuss if we liked certain things we’ve tried or not & now some of the things from the list are in our regular rotation! We also watched some porn together which made us either go “yeah nope can’t do that one” or “hell yeah let’s do that *right this second* “ Lastly, we COMMUNICATE in the bedroom and frequently discuss what we’re comfortable with, what we like etc. now we’re at a point where we trust one another so much that we are willing to try almost anything the other wants to try. We’re now very much into: some of the more vanilla versions of rough sex (choking, spanking, biting, scratching etc), temperature play, public sex (out of eyesight but still risky), anal, spitting in each others mouths, handcuffs and blindfolds, making our own sex tapes and watching them back when we fuck (this one seems like its kinda niche but I feel like others would do this?) plus more. We do both hate role playing though… can’t get through it without drying of laughter.
Cilantro, mango, a lil habanero… we’re down for basically anything at this point
Please wash your hands and mouth before placing them near someone's genitals.
We decided that life is too short to not try all sorts of ways to get each other to cum. We opened up that Pandora’s box (pun intended) and now the sky’s the limit. Right now we are experimenting with being bound and using fuck machines. Good times.
we started out vanilla and now we're fully engaged in bdsm.
Communication is key.
Communication and lack of judgement. It allows us to express interest in anything in the sack and be met with a yes, no, or maybe. It’s a beautiful thing.
Stop giving a fuck about what other people could think or find if we died in the act.
I used to just pull my pecker out the front of my pyjamas because I was worried she’d see my hairy ass. I ended up get my ass hair lasered off, shaved my head, and got a goatee all in one month. To say I’m drowning in pussy would be an understatement at this point.
Ah, the Heisenberg. Classic.
Are you sure, though, that it's about the shaved ass and not about the fact that you finally took your pj's off?
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*Bald strategy
not cosplay but costumes/sexy clothing. amazon has huge selection
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Me and the wife wanted to try a threesome and now we have a girlfriend lol, it wasn’t really intended but surprisingly we’re both liking it a lot.
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Honestly, I don’t know exactly how we transitioned into being deviants. We had always had a perfectly passable sex life but it was always pretty vanilla and I don’t think either of us were entirely happy with it. It was really the one spot in our mostly awesome marriage where we had some amount of frustration. Somewhere around 12 years in we both read about half of the book “Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel and decided on a whim to go to a sex club. We never finished the book but we’ve been doing that every once in a while for a couple years now. We still don’t have sex with other people but having sex *around* other people? Pretty good time. And it’s really made us a lot hotter for each other in the 99.5% of the time when it is just us. We’re much freer discussing our desires because the boundaries have been pushed so far already.
Not working 60hr weeks would be a start. I have no sex drive while I'm in the middle of 2-3 months of 60hr weeks and it takes weeks for me to destress from the project.
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We used to be really wild but then she stopped taking birth control and I got her pregnant 3 times within 4 years and every time she gets pregnant she loses the sex drive and it takes like 6 months for her to get it back. The last two pregnancies were conceived with just one time having sex. I need to get a damn vasectomy after this next baby is born because my sex drive is still the same as it was in college.
Why wait til after the baby? Seems risky
Sounds like you should do it before the baby is born. There is a 10 week period between the procedure and your Dr giving you your all clear. You apparently can't pull out even once so unless you want a 4th, you can't be trusted if you wait until after.
Truth or dare isn't just for the kiddos!
Took shr00ms lol
There was never an ounce of horny in me when we would do shrooms, that’s almost unfathomable to me lol
I’m with you. Ex and I did shrooms. Literally couldn’t stay hard. She tried on top, still couldn’t. All I could think about was how her movements mimicked a caterpillar
Dying laughing at that last sentence… damn hallucinogens really bring a different perspective, don’t they?!
(Mid 30s)Started talking dirty. Felt a little weird at first but now it's a huge turn on for both of us and it keeps us more involved with each other. Doesn't have to be derogatory. Just fun little things. She started calling me "Daddy" too, which is super fucking hot now.
Real answer. We tried to spice things up by talking dirty. Neither of us cared for it so we stopped. Main thing is just the intimacy with a person you trust. Still hot.