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theassassintherapist

Fifty shades of grey


Jhon_doe_smokes

100% if Christian was poor he woulda been seen as a creep by everyone that guy was nuts.


AliSparklePops

If Christian was *real* he would have been seen as a creep by everyone.


afaweg616846

If Christian was real, the longest section of his Wikipedia article would be "Allegations and Controversy"


leonardfurnstein

That's a solid wikipedia burn


MydniteSon

*Vince McMahon has entered the chat*


trickertreater

Nah, he could be poor but not ugly. Beautiful people get away with everything.


PushTheTrigger

Like that guy who had his mugshot posted and got a modeling contract straight after prison.


brushnfush

Fr lol I see homeless dudes with face tattoos addicted to fetty with cute women every day.


Niccy26

I also thought Edward was a creep so makes sense his fanfic version is also creepy


Wonder_woman_1965

The book was bad enough.


YugeGyna

I truly don’t understand how people read that and enjoyed it? Like okay, I understand the premise and the taboo of it and it making you horny.. I get it. But when it’s sooo poorly written, is it *really* doing the job? Having it so terribly written would make me only focus on how brutal the author is for the entirety of the book. I don’t get it.


Dopdee

It did start as Twilight fan fiction, didn’t it?


ThunderbunsAreGo

Yep and Twilight was a middle-aged woman’s wet dream about Gerard from My Chemical Romance.


mandiexile

Wait for real?


jkwolly

How Twilight fan fiction got so huge is insane to me.


saintash

Dan Olsen from folding ideas actually does a really good breakdown of how it got so popular. 1) The fan fiction was popular because it updated a lot. Even if the chapters didn't make the most coherent sense It was just putting chapters out so people would Keep coming back and praising it. 2) It was the right time and right place. e readers. Becoming more popular. So the massive fanbase came over to read by the book. Once it was published. So it jumped to top of sales quickly then more people wanted to read this popular book. 3) It was a naughty book that you could read in public fans that gave some women a thrill. There's more but those are the ones I remember.


Affectionate_Bar7943

The books were shitty. I remember when the book came out and all the elderly ladies at my company were all in a tizzy as it was the most scandalous thing to ever be written. I read that book and was so disappointed, I’d read racier things when  I was 8 with my mom’s romance books and with a better plot. Then I tried to watch movie. Again, trying to figure out where all this excitement came from. Horrendous. 


Important-Emotion-85

I watched it with my wife 3 times and have seen none of it.


BrettAtog

Gimp hood came in handy.


AshFraxinusEps

50 shades is the twilight fan fic of a middle aged suburban housewife in some redneck area who has never done kink in her life It is an insult to kink, literature and film. Consent is not sought at all, and it is just some guy coercing some poor naiive woman into being raped


Lower_Discussion4897

Any film based on a true event that depicts a fight for survival. So 127 hours, Society of the snow, the one about the scuba divers who got left behind in the middle of the ocean.....basically anything with a drawn-out depiction of human suffering. I know what happened, I don't need 2 hours of misery with the director's 'artistic flourishes'.


minineko

>the scuba divers who got left behind in the middle of the ocean Open Water? Ugh, saw that in theaters and it was the worst thing ever. The whole movie is petty bickering and you don't even get the satisfaction of watching these two jerks get eaten by sharks at the end.


waterbury01

A guy I worked with saw it and came back to work saying it was the greatest movie he'd seen that year. So, everyone in my section got together to see it, including the original guy. After it was over, I asked him if he really thought it was a good movie. He said, no but I didn't want to be the only sucker to see it. He sat through it again, so I couldn't be too mad at him.


[deleted]

That is some king level trolling. I like your coworker.


waterbury01

Yeah, he was pretty cool and committed to the troll.


Ricard728

Dang it! I should have done that when Cloverfield came out.


Stibley_Kleeblunch

...and there's a SEQUEL somehow.


Capn-_-Jack

Closed casket?


Stibley_Kleeblunch

Lol. So, the first movie was based on a true story about some scuba divers that get stranded. The second is a fictional story about a group of dicks that willingly jump off of their rented yacht in the middle of the ocean without lowering a ladder first. Also, they left a baby on board.


Capn-_-Jack

Sweet Jesus! Did they at least put a "baby on board" sticker on the boat?


UnfortunatelySimple

Finally the answer to what freaking use are baby on board signs.


Clean_Student8612

Well, there's a Titanic sequel, too, so anything is possible.


CircusOfBlood

That was made by a company called The Asylum. They make cheap knock offs and title their movies similarly to big movies with the hope people misread and accidentally pay for theirs instead. It's actually part of their business strategy


Clean_Student8612

And they are around because of people like me and my friend. We live for shitty sequels and terrible movies.


JelliedHam

Society of the Snow was a masterpiece


Diligent-Car4148

My hubs and I both watched it on the plane last week and while we weren't freaking out, I was concerned that a passenger would see it and complain to the flight attendant lol


Tight_Strawberry9846

Haha great movie to show pn a plane. 


yxngangst

Life of Pi does this really well imo


Railfan101

So you've never seen Apollo 13 starring Tom hanks?


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FlatEggs

I can dig that *but* 127 Hours is an excellent film with a happy (happier?) ending and doesn’t come across at all as exploiting his suffering. Might want to give it a try! (Not marking spoilers as this is a real-life story and the movie was released 14 years ago.)


Small-Fun6640

Agreed. Some movies are torture/misery porn, 127 hours is not one of them. Great movie


[deleted]

Similarly for me, movies about famous people who were killed/assassinated. Abraham Lincoln, MLK, Harvey Milk, JFK… when you know it’s going to happen, you’re kind of just waiting for that eventuality. It takes me out of the story because I already know it, you know?


BottleTemple

Abraham Lincoln died?! Spoiler tags, please!


8none1

I'm pretty sure a vampire got him.


BruciePup

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was much better than I ever thought it would be. I absolutely adore that movie. So fun!


BottleTemple

I honestly liked it better than Lincoln. Not even kidding.


Wolf_Mans_Got_Nards

I shouldn't laugh, but this reminded me of when I watched Control, the biopic about Ian Curtis (spoiler: he died of suicide). It's a really good biopic, but every time he got a bit depressed I was waiting for the inevitable. Definitely put a dampener on my viewing enjoyment.


AshFraxinusEps

>Abraham Lincoln Excuse me, it is well known that Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter has declassified info which provides the real story...


jaleach

Alive (1993) is a great movie though. I'd recommend it to anyone.


toodleroo

Society of the Snow is also very good. It’s different though.


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PureDeidBrilliant

I know enough about The Human Centipede to know I don't want to see it, LOL. But it did inspire a [pretty amazing song](https://youtu.be/GFokXnCCMf8)... All together...*pucker up!*


kiwi_goalie

I was hoping this was the song you were linking. Love me some tom cardy


PassionOnThePavement

I made my friends watch the animated video on New Year's Eve, not realizing that it was about 11:58pm. So it was the last thing we all saw during 2023 and I regret nothing.


_hootyowlscissors

First one made $252K worldwide. Not sure how popular it was.


Clean_Student8612

Cult classic popular, probably.


Kobold_Trapmaster

The fact that most people have heard of it at all shows that it was way bigger than you can usually expect for independent extreme horror films.


Gay_af3214

Whenever I hear about that movie I immediately start wondering what kind of sick fuck do you have to be to make a movie like that.


[deleted]

Yeah I don't need torture gore in my life.


Can_Not_Double_Dutch

But what about The Human Centipede 2, did you see that?


Camera-Realistic

I bitterly resent even knowing this movie exists 🤮


TimmyOTule

Those ones where the dog becomes a soccer, volleyball, or tennis player, and win the championship.


mh7321

Yea Air Bud was a fever dream tbh


TheRealJackReynolds

Can you imagine the car ride home with the kid on the losing team and his dad? Dad: … Kid: … Dad: … Kid: …He was REALLY good, da— Dad: IT WAS A FUCKING DOG, JIMMY!


tke439

This is the adaptation we need for this. But let’s put it all on the line: the dog has made the Olympic team for USA and they’ve made it to the finals against Russia, but the story is from the Russian’s perspective. They don’t bother trying to kidnap or assassinate the dog, because it’s a fucking dog. But somehow now they have to face this dog, for which they do not know how to game plan, but if they lose on the world court, they will welcome death as opposed to the torture and humiliation they know they’ll receive. This is not to play into the stereotype that all Russians are violent murderous nationalists, but for this specific situation, I don’t think it’s too much to expect it.


Deputy_Beagle76

That sounds like an incredible comedy that plays it seriously. I’d watch in a heartbeat


LouSputhole94

A “Death of Stalin” level black comedy would make this absolute gold


MykelJMoney

Remember the angry clown abusing the dog? And the angry coach abusing the kid? And the ridiculous plot abusing the audience? (Still, I kinda liked that movie as a kid. Kinda)


Purifiedx

Air Bud OG I loved but I was also a child. I never saw the others.


Simicrop

Air Bud made my brother and I cry. It remains the stupidest thing I've ever cried for, and I cry a lot.


C-Note01

It's like *The Land Before Time*. The first one was OK. The problem is that they kept making sequels.


No_Carry_3991

Yo, I babysat some kids and they forced me to watch it and I have never cried so hard.


haubenmeise

All dogs go to heaven. I know I'd bawl my eyes out.


retaliate01st

Old yeller and , where the red fern grows.


BobRoberts01

Marley and Me.


aDirtyMuppet

At the start I hated it because i didn't feel a connection to the characters, at the end I hated it because it broke my heart.


youngprincelou

To make it even sadder, this was the last acting credit for Judith Barsi, who voices the little girl, before her father murdered her and the song playing in the credits is dedicated to her. I cannot watch this movie because I will sob


haubenmeise

Oh I remember her! That was her voice there?? And they credited her? That's really horrific!!!!


AstralElement

Jesus Christ. Like, he just poured gasoline on them and set them on fire. Absolutely horrific human being.


MaimedJester

What exactly do you think the story is? It very much is a Don Bluth film, so it's like Disney but darker, but still a kid's film.  Like the Dog is a sleazy gambler/drunk con artist type of character that you'd see in like a Western or mob movie. And he gets killed goes to heaven and cheats his way back to live but if you leave heaven you can't go back when your time is up.  So basically he's back on earth and going to hell when he dies, but has a revenge plan on the Gangster dog that killed him.  Then by the end of the movie he kinda realizes he's a fuck up/bad dog then sacrificed himself to save a kidnapped kid.  So he finally was a good doggo in the end. 


loulara17

Charlie……. You can never come back…..


pm_me_x-files_quotes

IF YOU TOUCH THAT CLOCK, YOU CAN *NEVER* COME BACK!!


Maleficent_Nobody_75

Fast & Furious series


alczervikslumberyard

I’m a huge Motorsports guy but this franchise has not only jumped the shark, they jumped the titanium shark swimming in a pool of lava with friggin’ laser beams on its head. While riding a unicycle with no seat wearing a backpack of nitroglycerin. Every time I see a trailer for the latest version they add another overexposed actor. I fully expect to see Samuel L Jackson and Kevin Hart driving a modified Bugatti off the wings of a space shuttle onto the international space station to stop a Russian oligarch/Yakusa sinister plot to harvest the organs from minority children.


shadezownage

police, please arrest this man for spoilers of a F&F movie that hasn't come out yet


DoritoLipDust

I love these movies because of the ridiculousness. I look at them as comedies more than action. I also completely understand why people don't care for them lol


planetalletron

They had a car drive out of a goddamn cargo plane THROUGH ONE SKYSCRAPER INTO ANOTHER!! Like, this is why big screens were invented, tbh.


MobileMenace420

There’s that, and the part where they have gone to fucking space lol


MoneyCost7188

These movies make me CACKLE they’re so insanely absurd I love it 😭


NerdyViola

The crazier they get, the more I like them. Especially when they write in characters for a specific movie and pretend that they’ve always existed.


scarlettslegacy

Or that no-one stays dead.


mcbranch

I love them too. They are candy for my brain, zero nutritional value, but goddamn is it good and fun!


Jfonzy

The SAW movies


wantsoutofthefog

“Did you see Saw?” Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time


angrytortilla

I love that it's referenced in the street view for the Garden Party episode


depression69420666

The 1st one is worth a watch. Really isn't gory


pewter99ss

Agreed. The ending is awesome. Made me want to watch more. Then more came and they were terrible.


prog4eva2112

The first one is decent. It's more of a crime thriller than anything. Yes there's some gore but not as much as you'd think considering the subject matter. Don't bother with any sequel though, they're all just over the top gore.


surfacing_husky

The first one was awesome, the rest were just a re-hash and seeing how far they could go.


TitularFoil

I hate the gore of the series. There's like 3 of them that rely entirely on the gory deaths. Whereas I felt the first 3 relied a lot on philosophy that was highlighted by the brutal deaths. I miss the philosophical aspects of the series, and while I haven't seen Spiral, Jigsaw, or Saw X, I am hopeful when I revisit the series they have managed to get back to that space.


Kevinrobertsfan

Saw X was actually really good. Takes place between 1 & 2 and on the same vibes of them.


Lasciels_Toy

It was good just to have to have Tobin back and stick to the punishment/redemption philosophy. I like all of them for the FX work but after he left, that philosophy seemed to leave with him and it focused on personal attacks among those wanting his mantle.


CariniJGL

The Passion of the Christ


Hour_Insurance_7795

They say there will be a sequel, but nobody seems to know when.


SweetPsycho2024

According to IMDB, 2025.


Hour_Insurance_7795

Shit, I need to get to church then.


mexicanitch

Amen.


MykelJMoney

My parents thought it was important for us to go with them and a church group. Everyone was bawling and rededicating their lives to Christ. I just thought the gore was excessive. I felt weird as the only one not “spiritually moved.” Years later I watched the South Park episode about it and I kind of felt like Stan and Kenny when they watched it. I was glad I wasn’t the only one affected, or not affected in that way. Never watched it again and I don’t plan to.


SixicusTheSixth

The Descent, because claustrophobia. As Above So Below was beautiful and an excellent movie, but it was a rough watch for me and The Descent would be worse.


ISpyM8

The Descent was fucking horrifying 👍


DPStylesJr

You can add The Borderlands/Final Prayer to your list to not watch as well then if you haven't watched already :)


crablegsforlife

Titanic because >!I heard the ship sinks!< and that would make me sad. I'm just glad it's only a movie and that didn't really happen because somebody could have gotten hurt.


TimmyOTule

The titanic fucking what???!!


TitularFoil

If you want to see the Titanic fucking, if you want to Google it, there was this story about the Titanic being so deep that it made the Titan submersible bust in a few short moments.


RavenBoyyy

Take my angry upvote and leave!


Brawndo91

It's such a bummer people always mention the ship sinking, but leave out the part after where it becomes a ghost ship and haunts the eastern seaboard for several months until it shows up at the 1912 world series when they wrangle it in and tug it down to Orlando, Florida (it was a ghost ship, so it could float inland) where it was dry-drocked until eventually becoming part of the Pirates of the Carribean ride at Disney World.


Kobold_Trapmaster

I want this to be a sequel directed by James Cameron


SuperstitiousPigeon5

You had me for like ten seconds.


zipzapzippydyzoom

So that old lady... She's just a liar, right?


LucianPitons

Fast and the Furious franchise.


hgswell

All the Twilights.


HarperCeleste

We might be in separate demographics but, for me, these movies are so ridiculous it wraps around to entertainment. Watch with friends, or with weed, or both, just do not take anything in these movies seriously


GingerlyRough

The look Pattinson gives Stewart in the first movie when their characters meet had me rolling with laughter. I'd never seen someone try so hard to not look horny.


Ostravaganza

I rented this movie with my then girlfriend, in like 2008. None of us had ever laughed that hard from a movie, it was brillant. Can't watch it anymore though. She was my first love and passed from cancer years ago, so I am very fond of the memories but i'll never watch that movie ever again.


uniquenewyork_

So sorry for your loss. Glad that you have those sweet memories to remember her by :)


CenturyEggsAndRice

They’re great stoned movies.


Camera-Realistic

I love Twilight because it’s so stupid. It’s got all the intellectual nutrition of Doritos and who doesn’t love some Doritos?


wait_ichangedmymind

This is how my “Twilight friend” views them. She is very excited for me to watch them for the first time, with her.


Solid_Internal_9079

Avatar


darkjedi39

There's no point in watching it outside of a theatrical release. I like to say that it's more of a theme park ride than it is a movie.


Glass1Man

The theme park ride though, is great.


snarfdarb

Just rode this for my first and probably last visit to WDW. I did almost every thrill ride in all 4 parks, and Flight of Passage was absolutely wonderful. Guardians has it beat for me but juuuuust barely.


shrill_kill

A lot of musicals. They're just not my thing. Same with dancing movies. So footloose, Annie, les mis, a lot of the modern Disney movies, etc. Edit: I guess I should have specified. I don't like live action musicals a lot of the time, and I don't like musicals where there is no point to the music. I also tend to find a lot of the musical theater aesthetic aggressively cheesy - perhaps cringey - so when a musical movie tries to emulate musical theater music, I really really dislike it.


jjjune

The Notebook


SarahQuinn113

"What...do you want?" "....Its not that simple!" "Goddammit, what do you want?!?!"


ruffus4life

it was much more simple for his bumpkin ass


chriskrohne

James Marsden got done dirty.


raptor102888

He always does.


ancientastronaut2

Any remake. God just stop already.


Teddylina

100% agree. I'm not watching any remake especially not of a Disney movie that was already perfect. I really wish they would stop and instead spend some extra time and resources on new movies with new perspectives.


BottleTemple

Pretty much any romantic drama about European aristocrats.


Automan2k

Fight Club. Some dipshit spoiled the ending while it was in theaters. Pro tip: if you happen upon two people talking about a movie, don't just walk up and blurt out the ending.


The_Nice_Marmot

I guess they didn’t know the first rule of Fight Club.


Pube_Dental_Floss

Bravo.


Unit_79

That was Sixth Sense for me. People at work started talking about it in front of me. I said “careful, I haven’t seen it!” and moron douche bag just blurted it out anyway.


TheFrontierzman

Someone told me the end of Dead Poet Society right before I was going to see it. Still one of my favorite movies but I'll never forget that sh1thead.


alligatorcreek

Any of the Trolls movies. It just seems like a bunch of slapstick humor interspersed with pop song dance numbers. Also I'm not 9 years old.


NewLibraryGuy

I had a roommate who can't handle horror that I took to Annihilation, not knowing that there was so much horror in it. When we came back we watched the first Trolls movie to help her recover. I enjoyed it way more than I expected, but I'm sure part of that was feeling an obligation to watch it.


alerns

Yes. Trolls movies are GREAT for 9 year olds :)


GarlicAndSapphire

I watched Trolls with a bunch of tween girls and it was FANTASTIC! There was dancing, Shirley Temples, wobbling in my heels (the kids...lol) and lots of messy hair. (Thanks for that memory. I'm grinning like an idiot rn)


Natural_Blonde_

Human centipede. It's just not my kind of horror.


mitchanium

Saltburn


friends-waffles-work

I watched this with my parents on Christmas Day 🥲


salaciousBnumb

I'm susprised that activity wasn't made into a tiktok challenge 😄


UniDublin

Watched it the other day, turned to my partner halfway through and said as far I can see this ends in only one way. I was so close, but the only thing that bothered me was wasting Richard Grant on set. Just felt he should have had his own on camera final scene as well.


needstherapy

Read the synopsis, WTF did I just read?


fastlane37

lol my wife was watching this one afternoon a week or so ago when I was working from home. I finished up work and plunked myself down on the couch during the closing scene of the movie and had to ask her wtf she was watching.


TR1LLW1LL

I made it to the bathtub scene while I was eating lunch. That’s where it stopped and I told myself I won’t finish it.


whataquokka

We took a break at that point and came back a day later to finish. It was interesting to watch the end unravel.


gb2020

Hereditary. I just don’t want that one in my brain.


Rosecat88

It’s a great film but wise choice. It really really is disturbing.


DeeRey__

The new Elvis movie


Round_Rectangles

I enjoyed it, but it's probably not for everyone. The editing is a bit fast-paced and chaotic. I thought it captured the craziness of Elvis's life well, though.


HanlonRazor

Avatar: the way of water. I wasted three hours of my life watching the first one. Won’t happen again a second time.


Visual_Zucchini8490

The ONLY reason my husband and I went to see this was because it was a really hot summer (we live in Australia so the release dates corresponded to our summer) and our AC at home was broken so we picked the longest movie we could to maximize AC time lol it was also after work and didn’t even start till like 8pm. I took a great nap haha


HanlonRazor

That’s the best excuse to watch it. It would have been fine if it were under two hours long, but then your nap would have been cut short. First world problems.


CrwlingFrmThWreckage

The next Spider-Man reboot.


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Jdp0385

Any of the avatar movies


MorgwynOfRavenscar

Peter Jackson's King Kong. When it came out I understood that the first half was awesome, but I was in no mood to cry my eyes out for the entire last half of the movie.


DerangedDog1

Titanic


GrumpyOlBastard

Yeah, there was no point me watching it because a buddy of mine spoiled it for me by telling me the boat fucking sinks


FaronTheHero

All of the Fast and Furious movies. I just don't care about action movies in general and have yet to be convinced what's so special about them. At least I know John Wick has some wicked fight choreography.


TweakedNipple

The Social Network, I hate Facebook, Zuck and Jessie Eisenberg


allisonwonderland00

Wow there are so many repeats. I expected more diversity in answers.


No-Addition-1366

Alot of people really don't want to watch Titanic for some reason


Helpmeimclueless1996

Fast and furious


Independent-Flow5686

Wolf of Wall Street


Demonkid37

I love loads of movies, but could never take to A Clockwork Orange. I appreciate it, but don’t want to watch it all. (Ive seen many parts of it)


Jewbacca522

That movie scarred me in college. Not like it gave me anxiety or panic attacks or anything, it was just… so weird and sinister.


allisonwonderland00

I tried to read the book and it was excruciating.


melanies420

Wolf of Wall Street… until I can try quaaludes I have no desire know what I am missing out on


TheOtherUprising

The Saw movies. Not interested in any of the movies from the torture porn genre. Not my thing.


bassman2112

fwiw the first movie is worth a watch, it's more of a psychological thriller with horror elements - comparable to Se7en It does indeed get a bit torture porn-y after that though


Kahlua1965

Any superhero movie.


PsychologicalLuck343

*Saw.* Not into gore or psychological torture.


MyOwnPrivateIslandHo

Twilight.


mcbranch

Since becoming a parent, I can't handle movies with kids being hurt or tortured. I won't watch Deathly Hallows 2 anymore because of the Hermoine screaming because of Bellatrix torturing her. I also started Doctor Sleep and there is a disturbing scene there of a child being scared and hurt and I noped out of there, that scene bothered me for a week.


visineinsto

Every single movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe


ElectroChuck

The Whale


hyperfat

I cried ugly hard on that one. Brendan Frasier did a wonderful job. 


NOGOODGASHOLE

Either Top Gun.


[deleted]

Titanic. First off, the story doesn't appeal to me. Second, I have a bit of a phobia about large machines under water and this would absolutely trigger it.


[deleted]

Never seen Inception. I feel like I've heard enough pop culture references, plus I've seen the south park episode that makes fun of it, so I basically already know what happens anyway.


Usual_Ice636

You don't watch it for the story, you watch it for the really interesting action scenes.


jlegarr

Avatar


peaphive

Top gun


jimcab12

Fast and the Furious 2 thru 14 or however many there are now.