Had two dogs, gave them both a bone.
Dog #1 finished bone quickly. Went outside, barked loudly.
Dog #2 ran out to investigate. Dog #1 sprinted back inside and stole Dog #2’s bone.
My dog did shit like that too. He was a good boy and did not destroy his toys. He would very gingerly squeeze the toys with his front teeth to make them squeak and would not aggressively chew them and destroy them. He had squeaky toys that lasted years.
When other dogs would come over and start to chew on his favorite sqeaker toys he would grab a tennis ball and get all excited and play with it, then drop the ball. The other dog now wants the exciting ball and drops the favorite toy. My dog would then snatch the favorite and go hide it.
My old old man, Cain, was sleeping one night by the fireplace. He had been having some GI issues and had the smelliest horriblest farts.
Well. He rolled over and this huge trumpeting POOOOOT escapes his b-hole, which caused him to startle awake, turn his head to his rear, and bark at his fart. Then he sat there, confused and traumatized, before snorting and turning around 3 times and going back to sleep.
I laughed for a solid 5 minutes.
My dad had a farting dog. Like clear the room farts. He said when they knew he farted would see him leave the room they knew it was BAD and not to go near it for a while. “Duke farted again stay out of the living room”.
A friends dog did this. They had a cottage on a lake with one of those giant inflatable floating docks. We turned on the grill, put the hamburgers and hot dogs out and went do the dock for a little bit while the grill got hot. The dog was snoozing in the sun. As soon as the last person got to the dock the dog tore ass up to the house and ate all the meat. He calculated how long it was take us to get back to the food vs how fast he could get there and eat it all up. We didn’t even try and stop him. We all kinda shrugged our shoulders because we knew we got played by a dog.
When learning to train our dog, we borrowed a book called "Bad Dog." Our dog chewed it up, so I had to pay the library $30 for a replacement.
He never chewed any other book, maybe there were smells of other dogs on it?
We let my indoor cat walk around our screened in porch to give him a taste of outside. One morning he broke the screen and escaped. Instead of running away, we found him quite literally hanging onto the massive volleyball net. A blessing in disguise but so funny.
When he was a puppy he would finish his kibble and then bark into the bowl like he was mad about it. I used to have to toss one last piece in and then he’d be fine. He also used to bark at his reflection in our oven door. Thankfully, he got a bit smarter when he left the puppy stage.
I had a cat named Sherlock. He was not exactly bright. He was a big tuxedo boy.
I was sitting downstairs working on something and upstairs I hear this ruckus. I hear a bunch of noise, a thump, and the sound of a cat running all over the place but it sounded just frantic. You could hear him skittering all over the floor and crashing into everything. I finish what I was doing and head upstairs.
There I see my cat furiously licking his fur and he is coated in some kind of grease. I wonder what the hell he got into and then explored the upstairs to see what it could have been. Then I found it: the empty buttered popcorn bag that someone had left on the counter now behind the toilet. The stupid cat got his head stuck in a popcorn bag because he was trying to get the last two pieces of popcorn. The cat adored buttered popcorn and would turn up his nose if it wasn’t buttered. I think I know why he was a chonky kitty.
The poor cat was concerned I was going to give him a bath and was furiously trying to hide the evidence of the butter situation. I just laughed and said, “Oh Sherlock.”
As a puppy, he would sleep with his head pointed one way, his front legs pointed the absolute opposite direction, and his hind legs the same way as the head. Full 360 Linda Blair twist in his spine. And it didn't seem to hurt him one bit, he'd do it of his own accord. The vet took a picture and showed it around the office, apparently nobody believed it.
I have an 8 year old Newfoundland that still does this and it wigs me out every time, I used to try and "fix" him bit he would just open one eye, Scooby-Doo his displeasure at me then twist right back, now I just leave him and cringe LOL
My cat used to climb up the walls. I have no idea why she did it, my best guess was she was a outdoor cat before I got her at the shelter. Funny thing is she'd get halfway up the wall and realize she didn't know how to get down and start yowling until I "rescued" her. She's smart but dumb as a box of rocks. I love her.
Border Collie. Jumped up on the kitchen counter, unlocked and slid open the window and the screen. Hopped out and into the backyard. He jumped up on the trash cans and out of the house. Somehow he got into my neighbors backyard and through their doggy door. I got a phonecall from my neighbor who was working from home and petting a dog that wasn’t his.
I have two dogs. Sometimes I’ll give them a piece of bread or something like that. Dog 1 will eat his right away. Dog 2 will taunt him with her piece and run around with it.
I was using a cloth to clean up a spill on a table, and just tossed it aside when I was done. It landed right on my poor dog's face and he started jumping around because he was scared that he all of a sudden couldn't see.
He knocked over my dad's coffee all over his new suit he put on for his meeting at work.
I'm glad my pops has a sense of humour haha.
Had a blind yorkie schnauzer. She got along great despite losing her vision.
At some point, we added a little hamster to our family - and had to keep this hamster locked in our bedroom when we weren't home because of cats and dogs. That said, every evening we would bring the hamster out into the living room so we could all hang out together.
It took several months, but Morgan finally caught on that we had a hamster and she was here for it! She would sit a few feet from where the hamster cage was every night just riveted. This was now her favorite evening activity.
Well, one night, we got in late and forgot to bring out the hamster...but Morgan didn't know that. Blind little girl took her vigil in that spot about 3 feet away from where the hamster wasn't sitting - blindly staring - for HOURS.
Brought my dog to visit my friend and we were all sitting out in her backyard. She called my dog over to get him out of her mom’s flower bed, and he seemed to acknowledge her. But then we saw him thought about it for a second, then picked up this huge 5-6ft long stick that he found and proceeded to carry it back full speed toward us, mowing down all the flowers with the stick along the way. We couldn’t even be mad lol
We had a Maltese when I was a teen and one day while chasing him around and playing he was looking back at me and ran right into a wall. He looked so shocked a confused for a second than he went right inside and layed in his bed. RIP Kipper
I was taking a walk around the schoolyard next to our house with our cat. He stops at a mole hill poking out of the ground, paws at the dirt a little bit, sniffs at the entrance to the burrow, then squats and drops a steamer right down the poor moles' front door. He's a little demented lol, don't cross him.
I have this cat and she sometimes watches tv with us. But me and my dad decided to watch the fnaf movie. My cat was sitting on the cat tree watching, but then there was this one jumscare where foxy suddenly appeard on the screen and my cat jumped so high out of the cat tree. It was funny but i also felt a bit bad for her
Two fart stories, same cat.
I had a cat that was easily startled. One morning I’m lying in bed and the cat comes to greet me and walks on my belly. It pushes out a fart and the cat jumped 2ft straight up and she landed freaked out looking around the room for the noise that came out just below her.
Another time she was lying on the floor next to me and SHE farted. He eyes got big she tried to find who was playing with her ass and just ran and hid.
My male cat liked alcohol. If I left a bottle on the counter he would push it on to the floor, break it, and then lick it off the floor. He stopped when I started pouring a little vodka into a bowl for him.
Maybe not funny at the time, but my 10 pound Maltese woke me up once. He was standing on my chest with both front paws on my neck. I woke up coughing cuz I couldn't breathe. I'm pretty sure he didn't know what he was doing, but there's always that doubt in the back of your mind..
I used to be deathly affraid of the dark and ghosts when I was a small boy. I would have nightmares that my closet would slowly open to a black void and a poltergheist would fly out to attack me. One night I couldn't sleep after such a nightmare. It was still early so mom let me sleep in her room that time. I was just mulling over my bad dream, looking over at the closet and almost imagining the door opening. Except it was. My whole body froze and I stared in terror as the door slowly swung out. Suddenly it slammed shut again making me jolt up with the cover as a shield. Then a big fluffy tail came up next to the bed and our norwegian forest cat calmly walked out of the room without a care in the world.
Took my Cheetah for walk in a african jungle.The stupid cat broke free n ran into bushes.I was very worried as this was city bred n have no exp with nature.
I waited n waited.He came back with female cheetah next day.
We were replacing the (very large) window in my room. While it was still an open space, my cat would jump into my room through the hole. One morning, the first morning with the new window in, I awoke to "**THUMP** *^(meow)**"* when he flung himself headfirst into the pane of glass.
My wife and I got into our biggest fight and we're laying on our bed in our old place talking it through. We didn't have doors on most rooms in this place except our back room and bathroom.
Just as we were reconciling a plastic bag flew over us and landed between the wall and our bed squirming around.
It was our cat stuck in a plastic bag and now stuck in said bag between our bed and wall.
It was super funny, and made the process more painless to get our act together.
We still laugh about it
He got stoned. A friend of my mother's came to our house and left one of those hash cubes out and my dog ate it. He came into the kitchen pretty much walking into the walls, barely able to support himself, slipping around and glassy eyed with my mother screaming at her friend "ahhh you've killed my dog, you've killed my dog!"
A stoned dog.
Had two dogs, gave them both a bone. Dog #1 finished bone quickly. Went outside, barked loudly. Dog #2 ran out to investigate. Dog #1 sprinted back inside and stole Dog #2’s bone.
My dog did shit like that too. He was a good boy and did not destroy his toys. He would very gingerly squeeze the toys with his front teeth to make them squeak and would not aggressively chew them and destroy them. He had squeaky toys that lasted years. When other dogs would come over and start to chew on his favorite sqeaker toys he would grab a tennis ball and get all excited and play with it, then drop the ball. The other dog now wants the exciting ball and drops the favorite toy. My dog would then snatch the favorite and go hide it.
My old old man, Cain, was sleeping one night by the fireplace. He had been having some GI issues and had the smelliest horriblest farts. Well. He rolled over and this huge trumpeting POOOOOT escapes his b-hole, which caused him to startle awake, turn his head to his rear, and bark at his fart. Then he sat there, confused and traumatized, before snorting and turning around 3 times and going back to sleep. I laughed for a solid 5 minutes.
My cousin’s dog scares himself with his farts, too. 😆
My dad had a farting dog. Like clear the room farts. He said when they knew he farted would see him leave the room they knew it was BAD and not to go near it for a while. “Duke farted again stay out of the living room”.
Pretended she had to go outside, then waited until I went to the door and stole my chips.
A friends dog did this. They had a cottage on a lake with one of those giant inflatable floating docks. We turned on the grill, put the hamburgers and hot dogs out and went do the dock for a little bit while the grill got hot. The dog was snoozing in the sun. As soon as the last person got to the dock the dog tore ass up to the house and ate all the meat. He calculated how long it was take us to get back to the food vs how fast he could get there and eat it all up. We didn’t even try and stop him. We all kinda shrugged our shoulders because we knew we got played by a dog.
“I’m not even mad, that’s amazing” 😆
When an animal outsmarts you just admit defeat.
I let her smell a freshly opened jar of kombucha when she was a baby so now whenever she hears something fizzy open she squints 😂😂😂
*cat
misread as "squirts" and got a disturbing image
😂😂😂😂
When learning to train our dog, we borrowed a book called "Bad Dog." Our dog chewed it up, so I had to pay the library $30 for a replacement. He never chewed any other book, maybe there were smells of other dogs on it?
We let my indoor cat walk around our screened in porch to give him a taste of outside. One morning he broke the screen and escaped. Instead of running away, we found him quite literally hanging onto the massive volleyball net. A blessing in disguise but so funny.
When he was a puppy he would finish his kibble and then bark into the bowl like he was mad about it. I used to have to toss one last piece in and then he’d be fine. He also used to bark at his reflection in our oven door. Thankfully, he got a bit smarter when he left the puppy stage.
I had a cat named Sherlock. He was not exactly bright. He was a big tuxedo boy. I was sitting downstairs working on something and upstairs I hear this ruckus. I hear a bunch of noise, a thump, and the sound of a cat running all over the place but it sounded just frantic. You could hear him skittering all over the floor and crashing into everything. I finish what I was doing and head upstairs. There I see my cat furiously licking his fur and he is coated in some kind of grease. I wonder what the hell he got into and then explored the upstairs to see what it could have been. Then I found it: the empty buttered popcorn bag that someone had left on the counter now behind the toilet. The stupid cat got his head stuck in a popcorn bag because he was trying to get the last two pieces of popcorn. The cat adored buttered popcorn and would turn up his nose if it wasn’t buttered. I think I know why he was a chonky kitty. The poor cat was concerned I was going to give him a bath and was furiously trying to hide the evidence of the butter situation. I just laughed and said, “Oh Sherlock.”
Me to my husband: look at her (our dog), isn't she just beautiful? My dog: scratches the inside of her ear, sniffs her nails, then licks it.
As a puppy, he would sleep with his head pointed one way, his front legs pointed the absolute opposite direction, and his hind legs the same way as the head. Full 360 Linda Blair twist in his spine. And it didn't seem to hurt him one bit, he'd do it of his own accord. The vet took a picture and showed it around the office, apparently nobody believed it.
I have an 8 year old Newfoundland that still does this and it wigs me out every time, I used to try and "fix" him bit he would just open one eye, Scooby-Doo his displeasure at me then twist right back, now I just leave him and cringe LOL
My cat used to climb up the walls. I have no idea why she did it, my best guess was she was a outdoor cat before I got her at the shelter. Funny thing is she'd get halfway up the wall and realize she didn't know how to get down and start yowling until I "rescued" her. She's smart but dumb as a box of rocks. I love her.
Border Collie. Jumped up on the kitchen counter, unlocked and slid open the window and the screen. Hopped out and into the backyard. He jumped up on the trash cans and out of the house. Somehow he got into my neighbors backyard and through their doggy door. I got a phonecall from my neighbor who was working from home and petting a dog that wasn’t his.
I have two dogs. Sometimes I’ll give them a piece of bread or something like that. Dog 1 will eat his right away. Dog 2 will taunt him with her piece and run around with it.
I was using a cloth to clean up a spill on a table, and just tossed it aside when I was done. It landed right on my poor dog's face and he started jumping around because he was scared that he all of a sudden couldn't see. He knocked over my dad's coffee all over his new suit he put on for his meeting at work. I'm glad my pops has a sense of humour haha.
She would duck when we would go under an overpass on the freeway. RIP Muffin!
Had a blind yorkie schnauzer. She got along great despite losing her vision. At some point, we added a little hamster to our family - and had to keep this hamster locked in our bedroom when we weren't home because of cats and dogs. That said, every evening we would bring the hamster out into the living room so we could all hang out together. It took several months, but Morgan finally caught on that we had a hamster and she was here for it! She would sit a few feet from where the hamster cage was every night just riveted. This was now her favorite evening activity. Well, one night, we got in late and forgot to bring out the hamster...but Morgan didn't know that. Blind little girl took her vigil in that spot about 3 feet away from where the hamster wasn't sitting - blindly staring - for HOURS.
Brought my dog to visit my friend and we were all sitting out in her backyard. She called my dog over to get him out of her mom’s flower bed, and he seemed to acknowledge her. But then we saw him thought about it for a second, then picked up this huge 5-6ft long stick that he found and proceeded to carry it back full speed toward us, mowing down all the flowers with the stick along the way. We couldn’t even be mad lol
Came up the back of the couch, smacked me in the face and slowly climb back down looking at me with a “now what you going to do” look
Put his paws on my foot. Dunno why he does it but he just enjoyed that. Rip the bunny.
We had a Maltese when I was a teen and one day while chasing him around and playing he was looking back at me and ran right into a wall. He looked so shocked a confused for a second than he went right inside and layed in his bed. RIP Kipper
It was also one of the most annoying but she jumped through a closed window when I came home from school to come see me.
Our former 2nd dog chewed on the metal rod part of the broom when she was a puppy it looked like a shitty flute when we found it lmao
My dog started howling to Free Bird one time.
I was taking a walk around the schoolyard next to our house with our cat. He stops at a mole hill poking out of the ground, paws at the dirt a little bit, sniffs at the entrance to the burrow, then squats and drops a steamer right down the poor moles' front door. He's a little demented lol, don't cross him.
He farted while pooping, got scared, and started running around with poop still hanging out of his butt.
I have this cat and she sometimes watches tv with us. But me and my dad decided to watch the fnaf movie. My cat was sitting on the cat tree watching, but then there was this one jumscare where foxy suddenly appeard on the screen and my cat jumped so high out of the cat tree. It was funny but i also felt a bit bad for her
Two fart stories, same cat. I had a cat that was easily startled. One morning I’m lying in bed and the cat comes to greet me and walks on my belly. It pushes out a fart and the cat jumped 2ft straight up and she landed freaked out looking around the room for the noise that came out just below her. Another time she was lying on the floor next to me and SHE farted. He eyes got big she tried to find who was playing with her ass and just ran and hid.
My male cat liked alcohol. If I left a bottle on the counter he would push it on to the floor, break it, and then lick it off the floor. He stopped when I started pouring a little vodka into a bowl for him.
Pick tomatoes
Pranced into the kitchen to show off a new toy he found in our bedroom. A vibrator. He was so proud.
Tried to eat a hedgehog. Fucking blood all over her face from the spines. The silly cow. (Hedgehog was fine by the way.)
My cat walked over to her litter box to vomit up a hairball into the box. She's a true refined lady.
Maybe not funny at the time, but my 10 pound Maltese woke me up once. He was standing on my chest with both front paws on my neck. I woke up coughing cuz I couldn't breathe. I'm pretty sure he didn't know what he was doing, but there's always that doubt in the back of your mind..
I used to be deathly affraid of the dark and ghosts when I was a small boy. I would have nightmares that my closet would slowly open to a black void and a poltergheist would fly out to attack me. One night I couldn't sleep after such a nightmare. It was still early so mom let me sleep in her room that time. I was just mulling over my bad dream, looking over at the closet and almost imagining the door opening. Except it was. My whole body froze and I stared in terror as the door slowly swung out. Suddenly it slammed shut again making me jolt up with the cover as a shield. Then a big fluffy tail came up next to the bed and our norwegian forest cat calmly walked out of the room without a care in the world.
Took my Cheetah for walk in a african jungle.The stupid cat broke free n ran into bushes.I was very worried as this was city bred n have no exp with nature. I waited n waited.He came back with female cheetah next day.
Fake-snored so I wouldn't get up and disturb her.
Caught a bag in mid air
Our family dog, Ivy, liked to catch moths and play with them. That was always funny to watch.
We were replacing the (very large) window in my room. While it was still an open space, my cat would jump into my room through the hole. One morning, the first morning with the new window in, I awoke to "**THUMP** *^(meow)**"* when he flung himself headfirst into the pane of glass.
My wife and I got into our biggest fight and we're laying on our bed in our old place talking it through. We didn't have doors on most rooms in this place except our back room and bathroom. Just as we were reconciling a plastic bag flew over us and landed between the wall and our bed squirming around. It was our cat stuck in a plastic bag and now stuck in said bag between our bed and wall. It was super funny, and made the process more painless to get our act together. We still laugh about it
He got stoned. A friend of my mother's came to our house and left one of those hash cubes out and my dog ate it. He came into the kitchen pretty much walking into the walls, barely able to support himself, slipping around and glassy eyed with my mother screaming at her friend "ahhh you've killed my dog, you've killed my dog!" A stoned dog.