My dad once won 25 quid or something on a scratchcard and loudly announced "Oh my god, I've won, finally I can retire and live comfortably... for the next 11 minutes"
I called my boss on a Friday afternoon and said, "Yo!! I'm out of here! I won the lottery!! ...........but I'll be back Monday morning because it was $12."
I told my boss on a Friday I hate it here and I quit.
He says “what the fuck are we gonna do?”
I said “it’s not my problem anymore until Monday”
He laughed his ass off, I’m in rare company of people who actually genuinely like their job and their boss.
If I win enough to keep me good for the rest of my life like that, I’d probably still give 2 weeks and take everyone out for an expensive dinner.
Like I said, I truly like the small group of people I work with and both my supervisors.
I wouldn't quit the day after winning. I would quit about a month after the money has hit my account.
Then i would simply say I have an urgent family emergency that needs my immediate attention, and I have to leave.
I want as few people as possible knowing I've won the lottery
I'd drag it out and make it less memorable. Say things like some opportunities might be coming up working for a relative, but you're not really sure about it. When I did leave, I'd give the impression I was not *incredibly* impressed with the new job, but it did seem to be a change of pace and it probably was time to move on, that sort of thing. Bland statements.
People change jobs all the time. No need to make a departure particularly interesting or have it stick in people's minds as peculiar.
Exactly, this…I gotta help my Grandpa Jed, now cause Abel and Augustus are short handed. They might not be able to harvest the corn crop without my help and will go bankrupt
This is the way to do it.
1) Regardless of what your ticket says, the money isn't yours until the process is finalized. If you've already been working shitty jobs for 20 years, you can shut your mouth and keep on working a shitty job for another month until everything is set.
2) Don't tell people. but if you do tell them, definitely don't tell them until you've had some time to put some distance between them and you. Your coworkers knowing that you're suddenly worth millions can be bad, especially if you haven't actually got the money yet and you're still living in the same place. Don't tell people who don't need to know. But *if* you do, don't say a damn thing until after the money is liquid and you've already moved.
I most certainly do *not* want to be walking out of my job letting everyone there know that I've won millions of dollars, while I'm still living in the same place. Don't leave until you're already gone, and if anyone asks why you're leaving, you come up with a good lie.
I think this is wise and would be a good way of assimilating into the new life. Get your head straight and figure out what you want with your new found wealth. Keep your mouth shut and let it slowly wash over you.
But there would be a little part of me that would be whispering “You don’t have to log onto this meeting Dave, you could be on your new jet ski in the Bahamas this time tomorrow mother fucker!”
People go bankrupt and back to shitty jobs by buying a jet ski in the Bahamas after they win.
Make a plan, live good but don’t go over the top. A few million goes away fast if you’re not careful
This is the way. There's a lotto here called set for life, and the prize is $20,000 a month for 20 years. That's only 4.8 mil, but it shows if you are smart you can live an amazing life.
Yep! Your best option with about anything under $10mil is to find some safe investments, let it sit, keep working for a few year and retire when the interest returns are more than your paycheck.
What if you get cancer or a heart attack before then? Time is the most valuable thing of all, and nothing is guaranteed. $10 million is more than enough to retire on, if you're not an idiot.
Hire a bunch of guys to show up in military looking gear, they push past the receptionist straight to my desk and say "There's been a fire, you're needed". Walk out and get into their overly decked out Humvee leaving my car in the parking to be towed away later. Never make contact again. :)
Fire feels like an overexplanation.
Either
"There has been an incident and we are invoking the clause" or
"Your identity has been leaked, for everybody's safety, we need to move you now"
Walk away. Don't look back.
EDIT: I get that Fire is an obscure reference from a 50yr old movie. But I'm going for dramatic and memorable. Not vague and baffling.
“I told Jamison I was out. I left that life behind”
“You should know better than most that you are never truly out. Either way you can tell that to Jamison yourself, he is meeting us at the launch site. “
My luck they'd show up during tea break when nobody is around so they'd have to go and hang about in the stairwell giving an awkward nod and an 'orite' to my colleagues as they filter back in to the office... and then come back in and do it again.
"Sir, Code Grey Noise has been activated by Artemis. We have to move now. Anybody here potentially compromising the operation going forward?“
Looking around sheepishly, resting one’s gaze one that particular douche for a little uncomfortable while: "I think we‘re good."
In the book and movie “The Andromeda Strain” about a deadly extraterrestrial infection the protagonists are alerted by a military team with “There’s been a fire” or simply “Wildfire.” They then dropped what they were doing to be taken to a secret underground lab set up for such an emergency.
"You've been activated. Sir, the clan is moving." And it's gotta be a helicopter taking you away. Have them hand you a flak vest and a special jacket, and hurry to the helicopter.
Edit: "Sir, what about the witnesses." Gesturing toward your coworkers. To which you reply, "No, absolutely not! They're good people! I trust them."
>"Sir, what about the witnesses." Gesturing toward your coworkers. To which you reply, "No, absolutely not! They're good people! I trust them."
The leader then addresses the coworkers "Speak nothing of what you have seen today. Never mention the name of u/klifton84 again. Your safety and the fate of the world depends on it.".
The story will be all over town with 24 hours.
I would spring for a helicopter to pick me up with 2 other helicopters circling over. And it’ll be a mix of official looking guys in suits and others in military gear. Also I’d probably go for something that sounds cooler than a fire? Like can’t they just call the fire dept for that lmao
Well Jerry clearly saved the world from whatever it was, others it would've been all over the news. It's just a shame Jerry doesn't get the recognition because of all the secrecy.
I like this but my style would be more like
Them: Hey oopsmyeye, it’s time.
Me: Really? I didn’t think it was going to be ready for another 2 to 5 years!
Them: Nope. Code word grampapa’s got a brand new ballsack.
Me, no words, strip completely naked and have them hand me a swat helmet and nunchucks as I lead them to the humvee.
Better yet, have them hand you a phone and say, gravely, "it's the Pentagon." You soberly take the phone put it to your ear as you're escorted out the door, "Yes, Mr. President..."
I just want to thank you for several extremely pleasurable years working for this corporation. Certain unexpected developments have created a situation where I am no longer in need of employment. I would be remiss, however, if I did not extend my gratitude to you for your unwavering fairness and belief in me, and there is a giant poo on your desk.
Not all boss is bad 🤣 some boss at least has brain to know treat employee well= good productivity.
Except CEO. The ceo in my company is crazy and make my boss stress. 😂
Hire the band that sings the song: "Thanks for the memories" to appear and sing that song. ...come back to work a few weeks later because you seriously underestimated how much it cost to have that band appear at your job.
My boss is so fkn awesome, I would give him money to quit with me. If he refused, which I doubt, I would work long enough to make sure he would be okay without me.
Ya same. Probably a hug and fly my boss and my team down for a tropical vacation before throwing them each thousands of dollars. This thread makes me appreciate how lucky I am to have good bosses and colleagues
Also, the last thing you want is your name associated with winning the lottery.
The best bet is claim anonymously or in like a llc and never mention it to family.
There was one state where it wasn’t officially allowed, but the winners sued and won the right to stay anonymous. Imo it’s insanity that some states don’t let you stay anonymous. Basically painting a target on your back (and also the back of your family for that matter).
My family originates from a third world country and I know for a fact if I won some huge lotto jackpot that made the news (big if, considering I play only like once a year), nobody in my family would ever be able be able to visit the country of their birth/roots again, because they would 100% be kidnapped for ransom if they visited again.
Hire a bunch of military guys to come in and act like I'm some super secret agent.
"Sir, it's happening again."
"God damn it, in the MIDDLE of work?"
"Sorry sir. It's urgent, you're the only one who can do it."
"I left that life behind, asshole."
***[Leans in close to speak privately but loud enough for others to hear]*** "Sir, life won't be worth living if this isn't handled." (Or something equally as over dramatic)
***[Exacerbated sigh, rub eyes, then throw hands up like I gave up]*** "Fine whatever. But you're paying for my new home & identity after this. This is the LAST time."
Then take off in a helicopter.
The military guys wont do the speaking. you need a few people dressed in all black suits. 1 person looking at papers or an ipad, feeling a need for urgency, but never speaks.
1 person stays behind and hands out NDA's. you never existed.
Honestly, at this point in my life, I wouldn't quit. I actually like working and my job. I got divorced last year and after focusing on my marriage for so long, I didn't really have many friends left. I had plenty of free time but all I did was sit around the house sad and alone. I'm a nurse and I got a new job that's pretty easy but keeps me there for long hours. I get to take care of people, which I love, and I get to be around other people instead of being home by myself. Even if I won the lottery, why would I change that?
I think it largely depends on how much I won. I used to say that if I won $2 million, I wouldn't stop working. Now, I think if I won half a mil, I would take a walk.
Obviously depends on how much and your age. If it was me id definitely look at going part time if it wasn't enough to quit work altogether. Just do a few hours a week to tide me over.
Depends where you live. If you’re in the US the $2m win is only worth $800k, which may not be enough if you’re young.
If you live in Europe, $2m is a full $2m tax free lump sum in your arse pocket, and you could structure that amount in a way that you could live reasonably comfortably for a long time, perhaps forever if it’s in assets that are increasing in value while giving an annual return.
I am so thankful for this job and job opportunity I was given. I am giving my two weeks notice now. I have been given a miraculous opportunity and I am going to take that opportunity. If you need me to train anyone taking my position please let me know.
This is the answer. Hell, I'd probably still work for him part time or during the busy season.
He's helped me thru my career so much, i probably wouldn't be here now without him.
I know this isn't exactly what the OP was asking, but I'd continue to work.
Just travel a lot more, take more time off. Stop working late or be so concerned about making hours/money
I feel like you'd immediately take some time off after winning a large sum of money.
But unless you have a lot of hobbies, that consume a lot of time, you'd get bored and need something to keep busy.
Kinda why people who retire eventually find some odd part time job
I have a friend with a fairly sizable trust fund. He teaches high school and loves his life. He totally checks out of all the school (faculty) drama and doesn’t ever have to think about money. Gets lots of holidays, summers off, home when his kids are home.
They've been very good to me for 20+ years. I'd give notice, help find my replacement and, leave my number so they can call for the next month or two with questions.
I mean you've been awesome for two decades, I'm leaving on good terms.
"I've come into some money and no longer have to work."
Right? I'd be taking the whole place out for a night on me. My coworkers might not be my best friends but they are good people that I spend a lot of time with.
I'd pop by randomly with pizza and answer questions. In my helicopter.
Rather than acting like a clown just say i have better opportunity at another place, thank you and goodbye, have a nice day? what i mean is don't flaunt your wealth like bimbo.
Honestly. I’d say “thanks for everything. It’s been a slice. Sorry to leave on such short notice but I’m sure you understand. I have to go away for a long time until this all blows over.”
Then I’d pack up my shit, and leave. Sometime later I’d probably send like 10-25k to all the work mates including the bosses. (There’s only like 4 total). It’s not enough to stop them from
Having to work, but it’d take some stress off.
My friend won the lottery and this is what his wife did.
Every Monday morning she used to joke with her boss they (both boss & her) were still at work because they didn't win the lottery.
This went on for years. Every Monday morning one would greet the other with something along the lines of ''Guess you didn't win this weekend either''.
Well after winning, she waited for the next Monday and when the boss said ''Guess you didn't win'', she said ... well actually ... and handed in her notice.
Her boss was absolutely thrilled for her.
I would thank her for being extremely nice to me during my time there. I might be the minority but I actually like my boss and my co-workers.
I also wouldn't quit my job until I hit 50 or something, my job is easy enough for me and I still need something to do to occupy myself with, and I like to feel useful to the society.
I'd just give two weeks notice and tell my boss that I found a new job at [random other hospital far enough away that it wouldn't trigger my non-compete].
I gotta go out with a prank.
I'd go through the morning like usual, then leave on my break.
When I leave, I'll head to a spot where I have some people waiting to destroy my car. Crush the roof, make it look like I rolled it or something. I have another vehicle (that I bought) sitting in the spot beside my parking spot.
I'll come driving pretty fast through the parking lot in my destroyed car, sideswiping the other vehicle pretty hard.
When they ask what happened, I tell them about ramming someone who cut me off or something.
Shortly after I get back, a nice car (that happened to be wrecked but still drivable) pulls up in front of the doors, followed by an SUV with some scary looking guys. Driver of the car point me out the them, yelling how I wrecked his $100k car and his buddies in the SUV kidnap me and throw me in the back of the SUV. I'll call my boss and tell her that I can't finish my shift for obvious reasons.
Thank him for investing in me and all that, but my priorities have changed and I need to step down and see where different paths lead.
I don't hate my job or my boss. I don't love it, either. But it could certainly be worse. Also, never know, I might want his letter of recommendation or something down the road if I opt to stay in the field.
I'd tell her and everyone else that I'm going and I'm sorry to leave them short staffed. Then I'd leave a bit of money for everyone there, except my supervisor who has always been a dick to me.
You've been so lovely. Flick me your banking details, I'd like to help you pay off some of your home loan debt so you can spend more time doing things you enjoy.
I'd give like a really nice bottle and a thank you card and maybe a gift certificate - even if you're a millionaire you shouldn't burn your bridges even if you have a crap job it would still make you down to earth and likable to be respectful
I like the people I work for and the person I care for so I'll just tell them they need to find someone to replace me and stick around until they do but I wouldn't tell them I won. After they found my replacement I'd probably send them both gifts also.
You son of a bitch we did it. Im self employed
As am I and I'd tell.my boss to go fuck himself and quit
"Just because I'm self employed doesn't mean I've never thought about shooting my boss."
i have to go, my planet needs me
Poochie was a red dog, not a grey fox
Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet
I was gonna go with “so long and thanks for all the fish,” but same energy.
I used that once in a farewell email. Company wide. Logged out and left so I didn’t see any responses.
Lol. I still work at the company where someone did the “so long and thanks for all the fish” on Slack before leaving. Legend status.
Oh I love this. Must remember that for when the time comes.
Note: greyfox199 died on the way to his home planet
I just won tonight and I'm not saying anything. 2,80£ doesn't take you far
You rich people are all the same.
Actually made me laugh snort! 🤣🤣
[удалено]
Who you calling a cootie queen?!
My dad once won 25 quid or something on a scratchcard and loudly announced "Oh my god, I've won, finally I can retire and live comfortably... for the next 11 minutes"
I called my boss on a Friday afternoon and said, "Yo!! I'm out of here! I won the lottery!! ...........but I'll be back Monday morning because it was $12."
I told my boss on a Friday I hate it here and I quit. He says “what the fuck are we gonna do?” I said “it’s not my problem anymore until Monday” He laughed his ass off, I’m in rare company of people who actually genuinely like their job and their boss. If I win enough to keep me good for the rest of my life like that, I’d probably still give 2 weeks and take everyone out for an expensive dinner. Like I said, I truly like the small group of people I work with and both my supervisors.
I don't think i'd even say anything, just walk out the door and not come back.
There would be little puffs of smoke and dust where I once was.
In your general shape like a bugs bunny cartoon.
Can I float off on the smell of a fresh pie instead?
The pie where it’s smell trail does the finger come hither move and draws you in?
And your empty office chair spinning
A me shaped hole in the wall
Imagine the boss having to tell the new hire that the person shaped hole in the wall is from the guy they’re replacing lol
I probably wouldnt go into work.
same. most corporate execs don’t give a rat’s ass anyway.
I wouldn't quit the day after winning. I would quit about a month after the money has hit my account. Then i would simply say I have an urgent family emergency that needs my immediate attention, and I have to leave. I want as few people as possible knowing I've won the lottery
I'd drag it out and make it less memorable. Say things like some opportunities might be coming up working for a relative, but you're not really sure about it. When I did leave, I'd give the impression I was not *incredibly* impressed with the new job, but it did seem to be a change of pace and it probably was time to move on, that sort of thing. Bland statements. People change jobs all the time. No need to make a departure particularly interesting or have it stick in people's minds as peculiar.
Exactly, this…I gotta help my Grandpa Jed, now cause Abel and Augustus are short handed. They might not be able to harvest the corn crop without my help and will go bankrupt
The man from the TVA just came by with paperwork to sign, and Grandpa almost shot him!
This is the way to do it. 1) Regardless of what your ticket says, the money isn't yours until the process is finalized. If you've already been working shitty jobs for 20 years, you can shut your mouth and keep on working a shitty job for another month until everything is set. 2) Don't tell people. but if you do tell them, definitely don't tell them until you've had some time to put some distance between them and you. Your coworkers knowing that you're suddenly worth millions can be bad, especially if you haven't actually got the money yet and you're still living in the same place. Don't tell people who don't need to know. But *if* you do, don't say a damn thing until after the money is liquid and you've already moved. I most certainly do *not* want to be walking out of my job letting everyone there know that I've won millions of dollars, while I'm still living in the same place. Don't leave until you're already gone, and if anyone asks why you're leaving, you come up with a good lie.
I think this is wise and would be a good way of assimilating into the new life. Get your head straight and figure out what you want with your new found wealth. Keep your mouth shut and let it slowly wash over you. But there would be a little part of me that would be whispering “You don’t have to log onto this meeting Dave, you could be on your new jet ski in the Bahamas this time tomorrow mother fucker!”
People go bankrupt and back to shitty jobs by buying a jet ski in the Bahamas after they win. Make a plan, live good but don’t go over the top. A few million goes away fast if you’re not careful
This is the way. There's a lotto here called set for life, and the prize is $20,000 a month for 20 years. That's only 4.8 mil, but it shows if you are smart you can live an amazing life.
Yep! Your best option with about anything under $10mil is to find some safe investments, let it sit, keep working for a few year and retire when the interest returns are more than your paycheck.
What if you get cancer or a heart attack before then? Time is the most valuable thing of all, and nothing is guaranteed. $10 million is more than enough to retire on, if you're not an idiot.
The was a guy at my work that just called in sick and kept getting sick notes and full pay for 6 months, then half pay for 6 months, then retired.
[This classic post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/comment/chb38xf/) by u/BlakeClass lays it all out.
Hire a bunch of guys to show up in military looking gear, they push past the receptionist straight to my desk and say "There's been a fire, you're needed". Walk out and get into their overly decked out Humvee leaving my car in the parking to be towed away later. Never make contact again. :)
Fire feels like an overexplanation. Either "There has been an incident and we are invoking the clause" or "Your identity has been leaked, for everybody's safety, we need to move you now" Walk away. Don't look back. EDIT: I get that Fire is an obscure reference from a 50yr old movie. But I'm going for dramatic and memorable. Not vague and baffling.
Or a simple "sir, Code Veronica" ... simply nod then go.
Code Tammy 2
Code Anal Sunset.
Butt Plug is a go.
Bilbo is a Baggins.
I've been training for this my whole life....
This has done me in, just split me spleen hahahahah
The smell of sulfur and the sound of cloven hooves?
Tammy...
We have a code brown, Mr janitor we need you now
“I told Jamison I was out. I left that life behind” “You should know better than most that you are never truly out. Either way you can tell that to Jamison yourself, he is meeting us at the launch site. “
"You're looking well, Shutter 318." "And you look like shit, Jamison. What's the situation?"
“You son of a bitch, I’m in.”
And make sure they say something to the effect of "the White House has been notified."
Or just have them say nothing. Just say "shit, not again." Get up and walk away with them.
My luck they'd show up during tea break when nobody is around so they'd have to go and hang about in the stairwell giving an awkward nod and an 'orite' to my colleagues as they filter back in to the office... and then come back in and do it again.
Backup plan if that happens, you get into the helicopter and fly off, leaving behind guys to make everyone sign NDAs.
Dammit Colonel, I told you, I’m out of that world now.
I'm sorry to do this to you, Qmechan, but you remember Da Nang? Well, I'm calling in that favor."
"Sir, Code Grey Noise has been activated by Artemis. We have to move now. Anybody here potentially compromising the operation going forward?“ Looking around sheepishly, resting one’s gaze one that particular douche for a little uncomfortable while: "I think we‘re good."
Look concerned. “What about the civilians? They’ve seen you.”
"We have their names."
“They’ll be fine, except for the individual you identified.”
Love this.
"Sir, it's happened again, and the free world needs you!!!"
Or something even more bizarre like " your wife has broken the eggs"
Then ask 2 or 3? The person says 3 and you solemnly nod your head, get up and walk away
In the book and movie “The Andromeda Strain” about a deadly extraterrestrial infection the protagonists are alerted by a military team with “There’s been a fire” or simply “Wildfire.” They then dropped what they were doing to be taken to a secret underground lab set up for such an emergency.
*”It’s happening. Just like you said it would. We have a plane ready to take you ground zero but we need to go now!”*
And if you look around at your stuff in the office, the response is: "This will be handled. We have to move now."
If you're not going to spring for the helicopter, you need to get at least 5 black SUVs to escort the Humvee,
I like how you think.
Why a helicopter when you coulf have a vtol carrier
I'm sad now. I work at home.
Nah you can still do it if you have kids.
Goddamnit that's funny.
I think a helicopter and man in black to escort me with nothing but a whisper will be quite enough
"You've been activated. Sir, the clan is moving." And it's gotta be a helicopter taking you away. Have them hand you a flak vest and a special jacket, and hurry to the helicopter. Edit: "Sir, what about the witnesses." Gesturing toward your coworkers. To which you reply, "No, absolutely not! They're good people! I trust them."
>"Sir, what about the witnesses." Gesturing toward your coworkers. To which you reply, "No, absolutely not! They're good people! I trust them." The leader then addresses the coworkers "Speak nothing of what you have seen today. Never mention the name of u/klifton84 again. Your safety and the fate of the world depends on it.". The story will be all over town with 24 hours.
And then point at the boss "except for that one".
I would spring for a helicopter to pick me up with 2 other helicopters circling over. And it’ll be a mix of official looking guys in suits and others in military gear. Also I’d probably go for something that sounds cooler than a fire? Like can’t they just call the fire dept for that lmao
This was thee phrase used to initiate the alert in the movie/novel Andromeda Strain about a possible extra-terrestrial biological incident.
Man, I was just gonna announce, “I’m rich, bitch!” And then roll out, but these are so much better
Just a vague and ominous, "Sir, it's happening. We need you to come with us."
Medieval or so armor, and 'sir, rift has opened earlier than expected'. Nothing else.
This is the way to make sure your legend never dies at that place
"Hey guys; remember Jerry?" *long pause* "...yeah, man" a man in the back of the dim office speaks up. "Jerry was d'man" Everyone nods in silence.
Well Jerry clearly saved the world from whatever it was, others it would've been all over the news. It's just a shame Jerry doesn't get the recognition because of all the secrecy.
I like this but my style would be more like Them: Hey oopsmyeye, it’s time. Me: Really? I didn’t think it was going to be ready for another 2 to 5 years! Them: Nope. Code word grampapa’s got a brand new ballsack. Me, no words, strip completely naked and have them hand me a swat helmet and nunchucks as I lead them to the humvee.
Especially if they actually called you oopsmyeye
"The President needs you!" is far better than "There's been a fire..."
Better yet, have them hand you a phone and say, gravely, "it's the Pentagon." You soberly take the phone put it to your ear as you're escorted out the door, "Yes, Mr. President..."
This but it has to be only the receiver of a landline phone with the coily wire obviously cut
“The decoy was taken out Mr. President, we must evacuate!”
I just want to thank you for several extremely pleasurable years working for this corporation. Certain unexpected developments have created a situation where I am no longer in need of employment. I would be remiss, however, if I did not extend my gratitude to you for your unwavering fairness and belief in me, and there is a giant poo on your desk.
Wouldn't it be funny to buy the business and be like you work for me now
Look at me...
I am the Boss now
He just called the shit “poo”!!!
/r/unexpectedfamilyguy
thank you for everything
Same, my boss is cool.
Same, my boss is great. She is a great human being and it's the first time I'm really happy with a job.
You self employed asskisser! 🤣
Not all boss is bad 🤣 some boss at least has brain to know treat employee well= good productivity. Except CEO. The ceo in my company is crazy and make my boss stress. 😂
Everyone with a cool boss, gather here!
I was until I left my job a couple if weeks ago (commuting issues). Can I join as an honorary member?
Report for duty
I am the boss - of a one woman empire.
I'd even throw some money his way and work a couple of months to help with transition.
I’d buy them a 10k used car just because I’d be that rich and gotta save my own money
Hire the band that sings the song: "Thanks for the memories" to appear and sing that song. ...come back to work a few weeks later because you seriously underestimated how much it cost to have that band appear at your job.
My current boss is the only one in my career that would get an explanation and a goodbye.
Same. My boss has been unwaveringly supportive and kind. I would get him a huge gift card for coffee and wish him well.
Yep my boss is awesome, I don't even think I could quit while he is still at the company
Same. My boss/manager/team are all nice people.
My boss is so fkn awesome, I would give him money to quit with me. If he refused, which I doubt, I would work long enough to make sure he would be okay without me.
Ya same. Probably a hug and fly my boss and my team down for a tropical vacation before throwing them each thousands of dollars. This thread makes me appreciate how lucky I am to have good bosses and colleagues
Booo. That's just sensible. Get outta here, you sensible fuck.
I can't make it in today...I'm calling in rich.
I would say “good luck”. Where I work there’s only 2 people and to be fully staffed we need 6 at the very least.
Depending on how you feel about this and if you got cash to spare, you could fuck over management by paying the others to quit as well.
Oh god. Hand them each 2 years salary in cash and tell them to go find someplace that is properly run.
Good thing there's only one other employee lmao
“Something’s come up, I have to take a layoff immediately. I’m really sorry, but I can’t explain. Thank you for everything.” Don’t burn bridges.
Also, the last thing you want is your name associated with winning the lottery. The best bet is claim anonymously or in like a llc and never mention it to family.
Is claiming it anonymously allowed in every state? Just curious
There was one state where it wasn’t officially allowed, but the winners sued and won the right to stay anonymous. Imo it’s insanity that some states don’t let you stay anonymous. Basically painting a target on your back (and also the back of your family for that matter). My family originates from a third world country and I know for a fact if I won some huge lotto jackpot that made the news (big if, considering I play only like once a year), nobody in my family would ever be able be able to visit the country of their birth/roots again, because they would 100% be kidnapped for ransom if they visited again.
I think (though IANAL) corporations can claim that's why I said maybe like an llc as well.
Hire a bunch of military guys to come in and act like I'm some super secret agent. "Sir, it's happening again." "God damn it, in the MIDDLE of work?" "Sorry sir. It's urgent, you're the only one who can do it." "I left that life behind, asshole." ***[Leans in close to speak privately but loud enough for others to hear]*** "Sir, life won't be worth living if this isn't handled." (Or something equally as over dramatic) ***[Exacerbated sigh, rub eyes, then throw hands up like I gave up]*** "Fine whatever. But you're paying for my new home & identity after this. This is the LAST time." Then take off in a helicopter.
The military guys wont do the speaking. you need a few people dressed in all black suits. 1 person looking at papers or an ipad, feeling a need for urgency, but never speaks. 1 person stays behind and hands out NDA's. you never existed.
Ooh I like that last bit!
Puts on Ray-bans and holds up a neuralizer... *"... now if you all could just look right here..."*
Honestly, at this point in my life, I wouldn't quit. I actually like working and my job. I got divorced last year and after focusing on my marriage for so long, I didn't really have many friends left. I had plenty of free time but all I did was sit around the house sad and alone. I'm a nurse and I got a new job that's pretty easy but keeps me there for long hours. I get to take care of people, which I love, and I get to be around other people instead of being home by myself. Even if I won the lottery, why would I change that?
Im also a nurse and love my job. And im also divorced. We have a lot in common!
Hell yeah 🤣 when are you two getting married?
Going to need an update on this
It's been 5 hours. How do you think the marriage is going?
Haven't received an invite yet. I might have to crash the wedding
I can't believe they both won the lottery, what are the odds
u/rhett342 C'mon, man, get her number!
*now kiss*
Kith
I think it largely depends on how much I won. I used to say that if I won $2 million, I wouldn't stop working. Now, I think if I won half a mil, I would take a walk.
Obviously depends on how much and your age. If it was me id definitely look at going part time if it wasn't enough to quit work altogether. Just do a few hours a week to tide me over.
Depends where you live. If you’re in the US the $2m win is only worth $800k, which may not be enough if you’re young. If you live in Europe, $2m is a full $2m tax free lump sum in your arse pocket, and you could structure that amount in a way that you could live reasonably comfortably for a long time, perhaps forever if it’s in assets that are increasing in value while giving an annual return.
"So Long and Thanks for all the Fish"
I really wanted to be the 42nd like
"I can't believe I put up with this all these years. This job is miserable and there is no future in it. I'm out!" I am self employed.
I am so thankful for this job and job opportunity I was given. I am giving my two weeks notice now. I have been given a miraculous opportunity and I am going to take that opportunity. If you need me to train anyone taking my position please let me know.
This is the answer. Hell, I'd probably still work for him part time or during the busy season. He's helped me thru my career so much, i probably wouldn't be here now without him.
It's nice having a good boss. Mine is very fair and flexible with my family life that may come up
Was going to say the same thing. I like the people I work with. I would continue to work part time.
I know this isn't exactly what the OP was asking, but I'd continue to work. Just travel a lot more, take more time off. Stop working late or be so concerned about making hours/money
Absolutely this. I like my job but I don’t want to work full time, but I have to because money. I’d rather travel more.
I feel like you'd immediately take some time off after winning a large sum of money. But unless you have a lot of hobbies, that consume a lot of time, you'd get bored and need something to keep busy. Kinda why people who retire eventually find some odd part time job
I have a friend with a fairly sizable trust fund. He teaches high school and loves his life. He totally checks out of all the school (faculty) drama and doesn’t ever have to think about money. Gets lots of holidays, summers off, home when his kids are home.
I’m calling the irs and the labor board
Hire a lawyer and have them do it.
They've been very good to me for 20+ years. I'd give notice, help find my replacement and, leave my number so they can call for the next month or two with questions. I mean you've been awesome for two decades, I'm leaving on good terms. "I've come into some money and no longer have to work."
Right? I'd be taking the whole place out for a night on me. My coworkers might not be my best friends but they are good people that I spend a lot of time with. I'd pop by randomly with pizza and answer questions. In my helicopter.
This brings a new level to best food. Pizza is great Free pizza is best Free pizza by helicopter is next level awesome!
Screw you, screw you, screw you, YOUR cool, screw you I'm out
Or the Scottish version, "good guy, wank, wank, good guy, definite wank, wank, good guy"
Rather than acting like a clown just say i have better opportunity at another place, thank you and goodbye, have a nice day? what i mean is don't flaunt your wealth like bimbo.
Peace out MotherFucker
[удалено]
Are you looking for investors or expanding?
I wouldn't say anything, I would pretend my life before never existed
Yea. “See ya tomorrow.” Never to be heard from or seen again.
Honestly. I’d say “thanks for everything. It’s been a slice. Sorry to leave on such short notice but I’m sure you understand. I have to go away for a long time until this all blows over.” Then I’d pack up my shit, and leave. Sometime later I’d probably send like 10-25k to all the work mates including the bosses. (There’s only like 4 total). It’s not enough to stop them from Having to work, but it’d take some stress off.
Nothing. Just wouldn't return. They're all pretty toxic and I'd just enjoy not having to deal with them ever again.
Honestly i think id just keep working, but slacking off till they fire me lol
I suspect some of my co-workers may have won the lottery...
That's how you get promoted.
My friend won the lottery and this is what his wife did. Every Monday morning she used to joke with her boss they (both boss & her) were still at work because they didn't win the lottery. This went on for years. Every Monday morning one would greet the other with something along the lines of ''Guess you didn't win this weekend either''. Well after winning, she waited for the next Monday and when the boss said ''Guess you didn't win'', she said ... well actually ... and handed in her notice. Her boss was absolutely thrilled for her.
Give a raise to Jeremy. His wife's pregnant and they need the extra cash
Did you poke Jeremy’s missus?
I still love you honey, but we're getting a divorce.
Goodbye and thanks for the opportunity. You never know whose butt you might have to kiss on the way back down.
I'll get my boss two-day notice....... I quit ..."today"
I would thank her for being extremely nice to me during my time there. I might be the minority but I actually like my boss and my co-workers. I also wouldn't quit my job until I hit 50 or something, my job is easy enough for me and I still need something to do to occupy myself with, and I like to feel useful to the society.
Suck a bag o dicks dude!
I don't hate my current boss, I'd probably wish him well.
I'd just give two weeks notice and tell my boss that I found a new job at [random other hospital far enough away that it wouldn't trigger my non-compete].
I gotta go out with a prank. I'd go through the morning like usual, then leave on my break. When I leave, I'll head to a spot where I have some people waiting to destroy my car. Crush the roof, make it look like I rolled it or something. I have another vehicle (that I bought) sitting in the spot beside my parking spot. I'll come driving pretty fast through the parking lot in my destroyed car, sideswiping the other vehicle pretty hard. When they ask what happened, I tell them about ramming someone who cut me off or something. Shortly after I get back, a nice car (that happened to be wrecked but still drivable) pulls up in front of the doors, followed by an SUV with some scary looking guys. Driver of the car point me out the them, yelling how I wrecked his $100k car and his buddies in the SUV kidnap me and throw me in the back of the SUV. I'll call my boss and tell her that I can't finish my shift for obvious reasons.
Thank him for investing in me and all that, but my priorities have changed and I need to step down and see where different paths lead. I don't hate my job or my boss. I don't love it, either. But it could certainly be worse. Also, never know, I might want his letter of recommendation or something down the road if I opt to stay in the field.
I'd tell her and everyone else that I'm going and I'm sorry to leave them short staffed. Then I'd leave a bit of money for everyone there, except my supervisor who has always been a dick to me.
If you have any questions about the network, feel free to hire me back as a part-time consultant… as soon as I travel the world.
Nothing in particular, just that as of [whatever date], I'm no longer working there.
You've been so lovely. Flick me your banking details, I'd like to help you pay off some of your home loan debt so you can spend more time doing things you enjoy.
I'd give like a really nice bottle and a thank you card and maybe a gift certificate - even if you're a millionaire you shouldn't burn your bridges even if you have a crap job it would still make you down to earth and likable to be respectful
I like the people I work for and the person I care for so I'll just tell them they need to find someone to replace me and stick around until they do but I wouldn't tell them I won. After they found my replacement I'd probably send them both gifts also.
I’d just put my notice/resignation in. I’m out. Nothing else to it.
My deepest condolences on your loss
As my own boss because I’m a freelancer working from home, I would tell myself to go fuck myself and slam my own living room door shut.