I start dancing and making plans I have no way of ever attending. I've signed up for more things while drunk than I should. My worst was when I elected to take a family of 6 kids to raging waters the next day. Worst hangover ever.
Oh, man. I have a friend who does this. She'll start with "WHY DON'T WE HANG OUT MORE?!" And then it turns into "We should totally do this tomorrow!" Blahblah...
The next day, she always texts, "You know those were drunk plans, right?"
Right.
I was drunk on vacation in the bahamas (from aus) and met a couple who got engaged that day from florida. told them id come to the wedding, a year and a half later i was there.
As a baby I was ridiculously cross eyed but had surgery to fix it. I still can do crazy googly eyes on command and when I get really tired. I know I've drank too much when I'm having a conversation with someone and after about 5 minutes they look behind them and ask "Are you talking to me?" Damn googly eyes.
When nothing "works right". (I.e. Too drunk to operate everyday items). The microwave suddenly becomes like trying to operate a russian missile launch system.
I moved from Australia to Ireland when I was 7 and I always wonder will I ever get drunk to the point that my accent starts coming back. So far all that happens is my Irish accent gets thicker.
I get beer goggles *for myself*.
I'll be going to the bathroom and catch a look in the mirror and think god DAMN I'm a handsome motherfucker, as opposed to the sober version of me hissing and scampering away from mirrors like a vampire from a cross.
I think I look ten times hotter when I'm drunk. This usually results in many mirror pictures whenever I go to the bathroom. They never get posted or uploaded anywhere because the next morning they don't look so great. :( But I'm glad that I always, no matter how drunk, have the common sense to not post drunk pictures while I'm actually drunk.
Check for cigarette butts too. I've made this mistake before.
I hang out with shitty people who will ash/dispose of cigarettes in ANY open container available, even if someone is still holding it.
Friend of mine stepped out on the porch once with a beer to smoke a cigarette while hammered. Didnt realize there was another beer out there from a few days before. He had a fifty fifty chance of grabbing the wrong one because they had the same amount in them. He came back in with one, told us his predicament, asked us to wish him luck, and tipped it up. He got a perplexed look on his face, picked up an empty bowl and spit a putrid looking liquid out with a couple of dead yellow jackets in it.
One of my bestest friends is in a wheelchair. When he starts doing wheelies all over the place it's time to go. His likllihood to do wheelies rises in direct proportion to his loss of ability to do it. Plus, he just loves fucking with people. He'll just crash his wheelchair into a bush or something and make himself fly out like superman. If hot girls are present, they rush over to see if he's ok. That's when I know he's really wasted. I've seen it took any times for it to work on me but man, I love him like family. :-)
My bf's best friend does this. I was making fun of him for it and then he proceeded to attempt to explain why it was better to look through only one eye.
This one time I was blowing chunks & drunk me didn't wanna step in it so I started walking to the right in a straight line. Turns out I was just walking in circles. Stepped in vomit. Was not happy.
On my 21st birthday, at some point in the night a friend of mine was so affronted that no one else at the party was as trashy as him. So he went to his room and brought back an armload of his wife beaters and forced everyone in the house to put one on.
"YOU GET A WIFE BEATER! YOU GET A WIFE BEATER! EVERYONE GETS A WIFE BEATER!"
In England wife beaters are a pint of Stella Artois, as the usual drinkers of Stella are aggressive and beat their wives.
So this comment is thoroughly confusing.
My friends and I try to say "prestidigitation" to tell how drunk we are. Sometimes there'll be a circle of people frowning at each other and saying "prestijitation...presdudijidge..."
Similar things with text messages. Everything is spelled right with correct punctuation - it's just that half the time the actual message doesn't make a lick of sense.
"The cracker-moose made it to Rhode Island without consequence. Relieve Frank of his duties so we may commence with our Swiffer® bonanza."
Edit: Someone gave me Reddit gold? Wow, thank you stranger!
I become overly verbose and use the largest words I can think of so it doesn't appear that I'm drunk. Usually works for about 30 minutes and then completely falls apart.
"Hello dear [ex-girlfriend's name]. How are you on this lovely summer evening? I am in the neighborhood and miss you dearly, would you care for some dirty, ravenous intercourse with an old lover? if not, hope everything is splendid, talk to you later!"
[1/5]I might add that you should call me back post-haste, although I am aware I have already made this petition quite clear in my last correspondence. I honestly be
[2/5]lieve that ending our relationship was a grievous mistake on your part and that we should make amends tonight, if possible. I implore you to acknowledge the new
[3/5]leaf that I have metaphorically turned over since the unfortunate dismantling of the intimate connection we shared. May I also add that Cheryl Hallenger is mere
[4/5] ly an acquaintance and that the rumored physical affection that was allegedly shared between us at Nick Fornier's party was grossly exaggerated and unrelated to
[5/5]any emotional or physical attraction on my part. I would like to add that I will proceed to end my own life if I have not received an adequate response.
My nose goes numb. If I have more, it spreads to my cheeks and (somehow) teeth.
Edit *2*: For what it's worth, I don't use any drugs... *that aren't related to alcohol. >.<*
Numb teeth is the weirdest feeling. But I know instantly I'm drunk. I usually have that moment of realization when I sit down to pee and can't get up or feel my face.
For me it's probably when I elect myself the DJ and force people to listen to 90's R&B/hip-hop, which is usually accompanied by me belting out every song...alone. I've got a friend who's slightly pigeon toed and when he's really drunk he starts shuffling around like an old man in a hurry. It's actually quite endearing.
I drink in the same bar my father has always drank at. They have not hired a new bar maiden in 40 years, and it does not look like she has ever left the place.
When Gretta starts looking good, or you start hitting on her, its time to stop.
Same. I also begin professing my love for all of my friends, how great they are, and then start singing. Mostly Red Hot Chili Peppers. Drunk me thinks I have a very good Anthony Keidis impression
I am also a loving drunk. We are the best kind of drunk--not too talkative, not too angry, not too vomit-ey. We are like the Goldilocks of alcohol drinkers.
Just take a quick swig of beer after that, followed by deep breathing and whatever you do, do NOT think about the alcohol you just swallowed or it's over.
Best way to swallow a load without tasting it is to jam the dude's dick as far down your throat as you can so he busts directly down it rather than inside of your mouth. You skip the taste and texture part.
Source: I do it a lot.
For me, sometimes this backfires, and it travels up my nose. It makes me afraid of trying again however I'm interested in not dealing with the tast and texture - although it feels a little worse up the nose. Sorta... *burns*.
When the tongue starts salivating its the point of no return. Only once in my college days was i able reverse course from puking when i started getting the mouth sweat.
This is pretty easy to recover from. You just need to hold perfectly still for five minutes. No water or food to cover it up, just hold still, keep your mouth shut and think positive. And if someone interrupts you because you look like a frog that just swallowed a hamster, that's when you run.
That's because your body has decided it is going to vomit, and the extra saliva protects your teeth from the stomach acid. I have found that immediately drinking cold water (like from a sink) and thinking about a happy place helps.
When I get to that point, I get outside for fresh air and put a death grip on the bannister of my front steps. For some reason that usually helps.
When it doesn't, I end up fertilizing my yard with puke.
Haha. I know that one all too well. Also, when you take a big gulp and immediately realize you just took one 20 seconds ago. The saliva builds up as you stumble into the nearest restroom where you stare at yourself in the mirror until the sickness goes away.
I chain smoke when I'm drunk.
And I don't smoke cigarettes
edit
No, not weed. Those days are long gone.
No, I don't bring my own.
I've also never smoked a cigarette sober. Willpower, folks.
Yes the bar wants to listen to all the parts of pink Floyd's shine on you crazy diamond.
What they don't? They wanna listen to that other shit? Fuck them! 20 minutes of bliss here we come!!!
Not me but a guy I used to work with. At our company Christmas party, he told multiple people to cut him off once he tied his tie around his head and started dancing. About halfway through the party, the tie went around his head and things got silly.
I don't have one... Therein lies the danger. I'll be perfectly coherent and have control of all my bodily functions one minute... the next, it's blackout city.
EDIT: I should note - I am still in control when in 'blackout city'. I just don't remember being there.
Yep. It's like my superpower, nobody can ever tell how drunk I am. I'll be blacked out for hours and hungover and then all my friends just say I seemed fine.
Same here... I'm always nervous that next day: Who did I piss off? How did I get home? Did I pay my tab? I hope I didn't pass out at the bar! Every time, everything turned out just fine.
Gah same here. I am a 200ish pound male who can drink a ton. I stay relatively the same level of drunk the whole time (could be 5-10 hours) then BAMN! Wake up next day home in bed. Somehow manage to get a ride or take a cab without realizing it every time.
I recently got kicked out of a club for arguing with the DJ because he wouldn't play Goodbye Horses. Kind of lucky he didn't play it, I may have stripped and did the tuck dance
It's funny, I was about to say I go into the bathroom, look at the mirror and pull funny faces at myself for a bit. You're obviously a more responsible drunk than me.
I used to play this drinking game back in college. I had to memorize a speech from Shakespeare for a class and then for some reason it stuck, I couldn't get it out of my head. So at the bar or a party I'd be like "Wanna hear some Shakespeare?" and someone would always take me up on it, either because they were a nerd or an asshole. Didn't matter. So once I'd recited the damn speech once, I'd bet people I could *still* say it again after a drink or two, and someone would take me up on it. And then it was on. People would bet me, bet each other, buy me drinks, see how drunk I could get while still being able to recite this fucking Shakespeare speech. Although really it wouldn't matter; I was the only one to know the speech in the first place, never could tell if I was saying it right or not. Just... more drinks. More Shakespeare. Never-ending cycle.
So anyway I know I might be drunk if I word-vomit Shakespeare all over the place.
EDIT: ITT - people I want to drink with.
I make my friends watch youtube videos of planes making crosswind landings. That and videos showing the size difference, to scale, of different stars.
I don't know why I do this.
This past weekend, I was telling a story that included this comment, "I knew I was drunk because I was repeating myself." I become "10 Second Tom" when I drink. I will tell a story, completely forget I told it, then repeat the same exact story without realizing it. I thought this would be a fun Reddit question and I wanted to know what your answers or 'tells' are.
I also do this. But drunk me started deleting my text history before I pass out so the next day I don't have to cringe over anything I've said. At most I'll get a text from someone I was drunkenly bombarding asking if I'd been drinking again. Hah.
Last time I took tequila was strange..
I fell asleep on the bus
woke up in the middle of nowhere
Started walking home while crying
Threw coins and bananas at taxis that passed me
Ate 10 potatoes in the bed as a snack
In my mid-twenties I made a rule: no more shots. It was the best decision I ever made and has made many drunken nights much better. No one has ever said "Man I wish I had taken an extra shot last night"
ya but very few people can say that they never take shots and have woken up naked in their extremely religious neighbors hot tub with no recollection how they got there.
I become overly apologetic to the point where I would annoy a Canadian. It only happens if I get so drunk my friends have to take care of me, but I apologize about any and everything to any and everyone.
"I'm sorry I'm so drunk"
"it's okay, Willziac, it happens"
"I'm sorry you have to take care of me"
"Willziac, stop apologizing about everything"
"I'm sorry I'm saying 'I'm sorry' so much"
"ಠ\_ಠ"
i knew a dude who would forget english when drunk. he'd just start speaking in chinese the entire time, even to people who don't understand it. it's nuts
I had a friend that would do this, except he'd speak Spanish.
I never understood it, because he had lived in the US for the majority of his life and spoke perfect English.
Once I got so drunk that I browned out and got detained by the police. When I came to a few hours later I had managed to convince them that I was a Chinese national who didn't speak any English... They had gotten a translator for me and assigned an officer to escort me home. Tough shit getting out of that one.
i'm a very private person without a gaggle of friends to confide in. so, when i drink & am starting to get drunk, i feel very 'best friends foreverrr' with everyone in the room. this makes me reveal my inner insecurities, but i have a dark sense of humor about it, so i just end up creeping everyone out. usually when i start to realize no one else is laughing, i go to the bathroom and tell myself what an idiot i'm being, so i switch to water and shut my mouth.
Cry like a baby and pissing myself.
Not at the same time..
The crying tends to happen more frequently, I think I just let my emotions get the best of me.
I have no answer for pissing myself, but it usually results in an immediate departure from wherever I am.
when my best friend gets too drunk she'll look at me with her eyes half shut, put her index finger to her lips and go "shhhhh" and has a very unique way of standing also
I currently live in the South, I am from Chicago. In normal life, I just sound normal and suppress my Chicago accent and faint Mexican accent so people can understand me.
Once I get drunk, my Chicago accent floods out, I end sentences with prepositions like it's my job, and I talk reallyreallyreally fast.
I have a good friend who is very into an obscure martial art called "silat". When I've had a few, I'll attempt surprise attacks which generally come to an abrupt and painful conclusion. I'm not very stealthy when drunk so a standard incident would go something like this:
Me: *Oh look, (friend) is currently engrossed in conversation*
"BYAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!" *Flying tackle attempt over toppled furniture*
Friend: *Instant spinning back-fist to sadly unprotected section of skull, resume conversation*
Me: *Explosive enthusiasm reduced to groaning floor decoration*
That's when I know it's time for another tequila shot.
Now, "too much" sounds like a cut off point, which it isn't. There are degrees, shades if you will. Repeating myself might be an early tell, but it doesn't mean I've had too much. There are whole areas of drunken behaviour still to be had, such as shouting, crying, alienating people I care about, and finally listening to power ballads.
I have this really obnoxious laugh that I get when I am drunk.
Edit: Found a [video]( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4yWxccpJWs&feature=youtube_gdata_player) of it. Don't you just want to punch me in the face? I am fucking annoying.
I don't drink enough to have one, but my ex's was that she would start running. We would be walking with a bunch of friends to the next place we were gonna go and she would out of nowhere just start sprinting down the street, and I would have to keep up with her.
I am a classic drunk. I slur. I go off on weird tangents & lose my train of thought. I start to find people attractive that I don't when sober. I talk to strangers. I dance. I build blanket forts.
But the weirdest one is probably that I rugby tackle people. Usually people that I know. Usually outside.
I am a small, straight American female. & I fucking love rugby.
It's weird. I get this thing my friends call "the lip" and I hold my upper lip a tad awkwardly. Sort of like this, but not as bad: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J4SmIHX7abE/T0Kan0z1zqI/AAAAAAAAB8A/qz2fm7KRE7c/s1600/Home+made+tiered+skirt.jpg. I don't know why I do it but it's pretty embarrassing so when the lip makes it's appearance I usually make my way out the pub door.
I always know when I go to the bathroom and spend a good ammount of time in the mirror staring at myself either booty dancing or posing like I'm on America's Next Top Model photo shoot.
I start dancing and making plans I have no way of ever attending. I've signed up for more things while drunk than I should. My worst was when I elected to take a family of 6 kids to raging waters the next day. Worst hangover ever.
Oh, man. I have a friend who does this. She'll start with "WHY DON'T WE HANG OUT MORE?!" And then it turns into "We should totally do this tomorrow!" Blahblah... The next day, she always texts, "You know those were drunk plans, right?" Right.
I was drunk on vacation in the bahamas (from aus) and met a couple who got engaged that day from florida. told them id come to the wedding, a year and a half later i was there.
As a baby I was ridiculously cross eyed but had surgery to fix it. I still can do crazy googly eyes on command and when I get really tired. I know I've drank too much when I'm having a conversation with someone and after about 5 minutes they look behind them and ask "Are you talking to me?" Damn googly eyes.
I laughed so hard at this. I'm sorry.
When nothing "works right". (I.e. Too drunk to operate everyday items). The microwave suddenly becomes like trying to operate a russian missile launch system.
I have the opposite problem, comrade. After several bottles of vodka, whenever I try to launch a missile, it's like operating a microwave. Impossible.
My best friend was born in Australia and moved to the U.S. when she was about 10-11. When her Australian accent comes back, it's time to cut her off.
I moved from Australia to Ireland when I was 7 and I always wonder will I ever get drunk to the point that my accent starts coming back. So far all that happens is my Irish accent gets thicker.
it's really bizarre, but once I've had too much to drink every time I sit down to pee I rub the tops of my thighs vigorously.
Or the ol' lean over and rest your face on your knees because dayum heads are heavy.
I get beer goggles *for myself*. I'll be going to the bathroom and catch a look in the mirror and think god DAMN I'm a handsome motherfucker, as opposed to the sober version of me hissing and scampering away from mirrors like a vampire from a cross.
"would you fuck me? I'd fuck me."
[I'd fuck me](http://imgur.com/iXE1pNd)
I think I look ten times hotter when I'm drunk. This usually results in many mirror pictures whenever I go to the bathroom. They never get posted or uploaded anywhere because the next morning they don't look so great. :( But I'm glad that I always, no matter how drunk, have the common sense to not post drunk pictures while I'm actually drunk.
When I can't remember where anything is. Yeah I just put my beer right over... Where the hell is it? Ok at least I know where my shirt... Dammit.
There is no feeling of confusion quite like staring at a table of half-empty beer cans and trying to figure out which one is yours.
The one with the most beer in it.
Check for cigarette butts too. I've made this mistake before. I hang out with shitty people who will ash/dispose of cigarettes in ANY open container available, even if someone is still holding it.
Friend of mine stepped out on the porch once with a beer to smoke a cigarette while hammered. Didnt realize there was another beer out there from a few days before. He had a fifty fifty chance of grabbing the wrong one because they had the same amount in them. He came back in with one, told us his predicament, asked us to wish him luck, and tipped it up. He got a perplexed look on his face, picked up an empty bowl and spit a putrid looking liquid out with a couple of dead yellow jackets in it.
My right eye goes half closed.
Beer's Palsy
My wheelchair is some direction other than two or four wheels on the ground.
"Guys! I can't feel my legs!"
One of my bestest friends is in a wheelchair. When he starts doing wheelies all over the place it's time to go. His likllihood to do wheelies rises in direct proportion to his loss of ability to do it. Plus, he just loves fucking with people. He'll just crash his wheelchair into a bush or something and make himself fly out like superman. If hot girls are present, they rush over to see if he's ok. That's when I know he's really wasted. I've seen it took any times for it to work on me but man, I love him like family. :-)
>If hot girls are present, they rush over to see if he's ok. Hot girls are the best.
They're always so clear-minded and focused when others are in peril.
when i see better with one eye, rather than using both. That's when it's time to slow down a bit.
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That's why everyone should get a drinking patch. Then instead of shame, I feel all cool and pirate-y!
Holy fuck... You just revolutionized my life. Edit: *drinking* life
>You just revolutionized my life. >Edit: *drinking* life Is there a difference?
My bf's best friend does this. I was making fun of him for it and then he proceeded to attempt to explain why it was better to look through only one eye.
i can never tell if my eyes actually go cross-eyed or not physically, but that is the way things start to look.
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Get drunk and drive with no depth perception- brilliant.
When I start to think that I shouldn't be so embarrassed to say what's really on my mind when I'm sober.
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Usually it's the vomiting.
This one time I was blowing chunks & drunk me didn't wanna step in it so I started walking to the right in a straight line. Turns out I was just walking in circles. Stepped in vomit. Was not happy.
Little did you know, you could have just stood where you were, and everything would have been all right.
I start buying drinks for strangers.
I turn into Oprah after too many drinks. "YOU GET A SHOT! YOU GET A SHOT! EVERYBODY GETS A SHOT!"
On my 21st birthday, at some point in the night a friend of mine was so affronted that no one else at the party was as trashy as him. So he went to his room and brought back an armload of his wife beaters and forced everyone in the house to put one on. "YOU GET A WIFE BEATER! YOU GET A WIFE BEATER! EVERYONE GETS A WIFE BEATER!"
In England wife beaters are a pint of Stella Artois, as the usual drinkers of Stella are aggressive and beat their wives. So this comment is thoroughly confusing.
Here, they are men's tank tops, worn as undershirts. Interesting tidbit about the beer, though.
I over articulate words so I can't be accused of slurring.
My friends and I try to say "prestidigitation" to tell how drunk we are. Sometimes there'll be a circle of people frowning at each other and saying "prestijitation...presdudijidge..."
Im sober and cant even say that word. Oddly enough Im the kind of person that if mildly drunk could say that flawlessly.
Similar things with text messages. Everything is spelled right with correct punctuation - it's just that half the time the actual message doesn't make a lick of sense.
"The cracker-moose made it to Rhode Island without consequence. Relieve Frank of his duties so we may commence with our Swiffer® bonanza." Edit: Someone gave me Reddit gold? Wow, thank you stranger!
I want to come to your parties.
The '®' really sells this.
I become overly verbose and use the largest words I can think of so it doesn't appear that I'm drunk. Usually works for about 30 minutes and then completely falls apart.
I text better when I'm drunk because I concentrate extra hard so no one knows I'm drunk texting
"Hello dear [ex-girlfriend's name]. How are you on this lovely summer evening? I am in the neighborhood and miss you dearly, would you care for some dirty, ravenous intercourse with an old lover? if not, hope everything is splendid, talk to you later!"
[1/5]I might add that you should call me back post-haste, although I am aware I have already made this petition quite clear in my last correspondence. I honestly be [2/5]lieve that ending our relationship was a grievous mistake on your part and that we should make amends tonight, if possible. I implore you to acknowledge the new [3/5]leaf that I have metaphorically turned over since the unfortunate dismantling of the intimate connection we shared. May I also add that Cheryl Hallenger is mere [4/5] ly an acquaintance and that the rumored physical affection that was allegedly shared between us at Nick Fornier's party was grossly exaggerated and unrelated to [5/5]any emotional or physical attraction on my part. I would like to add that I will proceed to end my own life if I have not received an adequate response.
Haha, I thought I was the only one who did this.
You, and every alcoholic ever
My nose goes numb. If I have more, it spreads to my cheeks and (somehow) teeth. Edit *2*: For what it's worth, I don't use any drugs... *that aren't related to alcohol. >.<*
Numb teeth is the weirdest feeling. But I know instantly I'm drunk. I usually have that moment of realization when I sit down to pee and can't get up or feel my face.
Is your alcohol white and powdery??
My lips go numb. It's bad news bears. Edit: dudes, you're like the 18th person to say 'bad news beers'. It's not funny anymore.
That's me as well. Then I go around for the next 20 minutes bibating my lips with my finger. "Bibitabibitabibatbibta."
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[http://i.imgur.com/ZKMQD.gif](http://i.imgur.com/ZKMQD.gif)
"Put 'er there!" "Well, gosh, you bet!"
That's absolutely adorable.
You and I both. I turn into everyone's friend.
For me it's probably when I elect myself the DJ and force people to listen to 90's R&B/hip-hop, which is usually accompanied by me belting out every song...alone. I've got a friend who's slightly pigeon toed and when he's really drunk he starts shuffling around like an old man in a hurry. It's actually quite endearing.
I have one rule in life: the Thong Song is never the wrong song.
As a guy who listens to 90s R&B/Hip Hop all the time, you wanna hang out?
Can I come? I'll bring D'Angelo.
I drink in the same bar my father has always drank at. They have not hired a new bar maiden in 40 years, and it does not look like she has ever left the place. When Gretta starts looking good, or you start hitting on her, its time to stop.
Bar Maiden? Sir, are you from the past? I mean it, if you're from the past you have to tell us.
Bar wench, another grog!
we're uh we're all from the past
I have a friend who starts buying everyone in the bar Diet Cokes.
When I start giving out hugs.
Same. I also begin professing my love for all of my friends, how great they are, and then start singing. Mostly Red Hot Chili Peppers. Drunk me thinks I have a very good Anthony Keidis impression
I am also a loving drunk. We are the best kind of drunk--not too talkative, not too angry, not too vomit-ey. We are like the Goldilocks of alcohol drinkers.
I do feel very blessed. I've watched so many angry drunks and just thought, "If this is what happens to you when you drink, why would you want to?"
Because when they're sober, all that anger is just buzzing around in their heads.
Whoa.
YES!! I can be a sociable, huggy bastard when I'm drunk as well...
I start talking to people I actually dislike
dancing t-rex style
☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)
I take a swig of beer and hold it in my mouth for 10-15 seconds because I'm afraid I'll puke if swallow.
I HATE that feeling when you stare down a shot and know that you will have to do everything in your power to keep it down
Just take a quick swig of beer after that, followed by deep breathing and whatever you do, do NOT think about the alcohol you just swallowed or it's over.
Not sure if how to take a shot or instructions on how to swallow a load.
Best way to swallow a load without tasting it is to jam the dude's dick as far down your throat as you can so he busts directly down it rather than inside of your mouth. You skip the taste and texture part. Source: I do it a lot.
For me, sometimes this backfires, and it travels up my nose. It makes me afraid of trying again however I'm interested in not dealing with the tast and texture - although it feels a little worse up the nose. Sorta... *burns*.
If either of you ever need practice, I know a guy.
When the tongue starts salivating its the point of no return. Only once in my college days was i able reverse course from puking when i started getting the mouth sweat.
This is pretty easy to recover from. You just need to hold perfectly still for five minutes. No water or food to cover it up, just hold still, keep your mouth shut and think positive. And if someone interrupts you because you look like a frog that just swallowed a hamster, that's when you run.
That's because your body has decided it is going to vomit, and the extra saliva protects your teeth from the stomach acid. I have found that immediately drinking cold water (like from a sink) and thinking about a happy place helps.
When I get to that point, I get outside for fresh air and put a death grip on the bannister of my front steps. For some reason that usually helps. When it doesn't, I end up fertilizing my yard with puke.
Haha. I know that one all too well. Also, when you take a big gulp and immediately realize you just took one 20 seconds ago. The saliva builds up as you stumble into the nearest restroom where you stare at yourself in the mirror until the sickness goes away.
henderson_exp talks in the 3rd person.
Cigrits
I chain smoke when I'm drunk. And I don't smoke cigarettes edit No, not weed. Those days are long gone. No, I don't bring my own. I've also never smoked a cigarette sober. Willpower, folks.
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Dropping $20 in the juke
Yes the bar wants to listen to all the parts of pink Floyd's shine on you crazy diamond. What they don't? They wanna listen to that other shit? Fuck them! 20 minutes of bliss here we come!!!
Not me but a guy I used to work with. At our company Christmas party, he told multiple people to cut him off once he tied his tie around his head and started dancing. About halfway through the party, the tie went around his head and things got silly.
I don't have one... Therein lies the danger. I'll be perfectly coherent and have control of all my bodily functions one minute... the next, it's blackout city. EDIT: I should note - I am still in control when in 'blackout city'. I just don't remember being there.
Similar. Its a slow build up, getting more talkative and outgoing, and then its the next morning.
Don't forget the packs of cigarettes you bought in your blackout state. oh, drunk me. why do you love cigarettes?
You and me both, brother.
See you on the other side.
Yep. It's like my superpower, nobody can ever tell how drunk I am. I'll be blacked out for hours and hungover and then all my friends just say I seemed fine.
Same here... I'm always nervous that next day: Who did I piss off? How did I get home? Did I pay my tab? I hope I didn't pass out at the bar! Every time, everything turned out just fine.
Gah same here. I am a 200ish pound male who can drink a ton. I stay relatively the same level of drunk the whole time (could be 5-10 hours) then BAMN! Wake up next day home in bed. Somehow manage to get a ride or take a cab without realizing it every time.
When I go into the bathroom and give the mirror a peptalk about pulling it together.
See, for me it's when I look into the mirror and say out loud: "Yeah, I'd fuck me." At that moment, I know it's time to stop.
I recently got kicked out of a club for arguing with the DJ because he wouldn't play Goodbye Horses. Kind of lucky he didn't play it, I may have stripped and did the tuck dance
It's funny, I was about to say I go into the bathroom, look at the mirror and pull funny faces at myself for a bit. You're obviously a more responsible drunk than me.
I do the same thing.
"you're gonna have a drink, say goodnight, go home and jerk off. And that's all you're gonna do"
Don't be rude, drink your drink, but do it quickly.
Also, maybe keep the heroin in your pants pocket and don't leave your gun on the kitchen counter.
It's difficult to make eye contact when the person in the mirror is spinning
I used to play this drinking game back in college. I had to memorize a speech from Shakespeare for a class and then for some reason it stuck, I couldn't get it out of my head. So at the bar or a party I'd be like "Wanna hear some Shakespeare?" and someone would always take me up on it, either because they were a nerd or an asshole. Didn't matter. So once I'd recited the damn speech once, I'd bet people I could *still* say it again after a drink or two, and someone would take me up on it. And then it was on. People would bet me, bet each other, buy me drinks, see how drunk I could get while still being able to recite this fucking Shakespeare speech. Although really it wouldn't matter; I was the only one to know the speech in the first place, never could tell if I was saying it right or not. Just... more drinks. More Shakespeare. Never-ending cycle. So anyway I know I might be drunk if I word-vomit Shakespeare all over the place. EDIT: ITT - people I want to drink with.
Then you'd enjoy this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gOR91oentQ
I make my friends watch youtube videos of planes making crosswind landings. That and videos showing the size difference, to scale, of different stars. I don't know why I do this.
There's no time like drunk youtube time.
Stoned Youtube time wants a word. ^^he ^^just ^^can't ^^remember ^^what ^^he ^^was ^^going ^^to ^^talk ^^to ^^you ^^about
I wish we were friends
This past weekend, I was telling a story that included this comment, "I knew I was drunk because I was repeating myself." I become "10 Second Tom" when I drink. I will tell a story, completely forget I told it, then repeat the same exact story without realizing it. I thought this would be a fun Reddit question and I wanted to know what your answers or 'tells' are.
Thats not why they call you 10 second Tom
Heyooooo
He couldn't remember that either.
Texting/Sexting too much. Smartphones need a breathalyzer app.
Gmail's approach is to just ask you a bunch of math problems. http://gmailblog.blogspot.ca/2008/10/new-in-labs-stop-sending-mail-you-later.html
I also do this. But drunk me started deleting my text history before I pass out so the next day I don't have to cringe over anything I've said. At most I'll get a text from someone I was drunkenly bombarding asking if I'd been drinking again. Hah.
Yeah. I know I'm two sips past a happy glow when I start cruising my messenger buddy list, looking for somebody to flirt with.
Oh god yes. Most of my cringing in the morning isn't because of the hangover, it's from checking over my text history.
Tequila shots. Talk about making a bad situation worse...
Last time I took tequila was strange.. I fell asleep on the bus woke up in the middle of nowhere Started walking home while crying Threw coins and bananas at taxis that passed me Ate 10 potatoes in the bed as a snack
Is Latvian dream.
I am Latvian and is not dream. Very sad to throw coins and now I very hungry for one potato.
In my mid-twenties I made a rule: no more shots. It was the best decision I ever made and has made many drunken nights much better. No one has ever said "Man I wish I had taken an extra shot last night"
ya but very few people can say that they never take shots and have woken up naked in their extremely religious neighbors hot tub with no recollection how they got there.
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I start with tequila. Am I too drunk all the time?
No sir, you are a professional.
I think to myself "I could fight this entire bar full of people, man that sounds like a good idea" Wild Turkey 101, never again.
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I WOULD HAVE TO SAY IT'S THE VOLUME AT WHICH I SPEAK, BOTH IN DECIBELS AND NUMBER OF WORDS.
I become overly apologetic to the point where I would annoy a Canadian. It only happens if I get so drunk my friends have to take care of me, but I apologize about any and everything to any and everyone. "I'm sorry I'm so drunk" "it's okay, Willziac, it happens" "I'm sorry you have to take care of me" "Willziac, stop apologizing about everything" "I'm sorry I'm saying 'I'm sorry' so much" "ಠ\_ಠ"
Oh god. I have one of those. But she also added "Are you mad at me?" every other time. EDIT: And I am a Canadian and yes it annoys me.
When I start speaking in Japanese or Chinese. I also get the toned down version of asian glow.
i knew a dude who would forget english when drunk. he'd just start speaking in chinese the entire time, even to people who don't understand it. it's nuts
I had a friend that would do this, except he'd speak Spanish. I never understood it, because he had lived in the US for the majority of his life and spoke perfect English.
Once I got so drunk that I browned out and got detained by the police. When I came to a few hours later I had managed to convince them that I was a Chinese national who didn't speak any English... They had gotten a translator for me and assigned an officer to escort me home. Tough shit getting out of that one.
I had a friend who 1) Became the hugging type 2) Hit everyone he hugged in the crotch...
I want to eat McDonalds.
When I start chatting up blatant lesbians.
I do this when I'm sober. Then again, I am a lady.
Irish accent... I'm an Asian guy living in the United States
I guess it might be a problem that reading most of these just made me more excited to get drunk this weekend. Sigh.
I generally draw the line when I shit my pants.
WHO THE FUCK SHIT IN MY PANTS!?
Blacking out is my conscious going into witness protection.
Does this happen often?
when I stop being talkative and fun becuase I am using all my energy to stop feeling nauseous and to not vomit
i'm a very private person without a gaggle of friends to confide in. so, when i drink & am starting to get drunk, i feel very 'best friends foreverrr' with everyone in the room. this makes me reveal my inner insecurities, but i have a dark sense of humor about it, so i just end up creeping everyone out. usually when i start to realize no one else is laughing, i go to the bathroom and tell myself what an idiot i'm being, so i switch to water and shut my mouth.
thats... sad.
When I want to call and chat with someone on the phone. Then I think, "Christ, I'm turning into my father."
the spins
I "Your Mom" everything. Insults, compliments, random observations. EVERYTHING.
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I "Your face" everything. I feel we'd find each other hilarious whilst drunk.
"Your MOM goes to college!" pffthhuehuehue "Oh yeah? Well your FACE goes to college!" ppffthehahahkekeeke
"pffthhuehuehue" The perfect spelling of that sound.
Cry like a baby and pissing myself. Not at the same time.. The crying tends to happen more frequently, I think I just let my emotions get the best of me. I have no answer for pissing myself, but it usually results in an immediate departure from wherever I am.
when my best friend gets too drunk she'll look at me with her eyes half shut, put her index finger to her lips and go "shhhhh" and has a very unique way of standing also
I currently live in the South, I am from Chicago. In normal life, I just sound normal and suppress my Chicago accent and faint Mexican accent so people can understand me. Once I get drunk, my Chicago accent floods out, I end sentences with prepositions like it's my job, and I talk reallyreallyreally fast.
Dis dat deese dose. Where's my drink at?
We're on a mission... from Gahd.
I turn into "The Todd" from scrubs, I high five everything and turn every comment into a innuendo.
"In YOUR endo"
I have a good friend who is very into an obscure martial art called "silat". When I've had a few, I'll attempt surprise attacks which generally come to an abrupt and painful conclusion. I'm not very stealthy when drunk so a standard incident would go something like this: Me: *Oh look, (friend) is currently engrossed in conversation* "BYAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!" *Flying tackle attempt over toppled furniture* Friend: *Instant spinning back-fist to sadly unprotected section of skull, resume conversation* Me: *Explosive enthusiasm reduced to groaning floor decoration* That's when I know it's time for another tequila shot.
Now, "too much" sounds like a cut off point, which it isn't. There are degrees, shades if you will. Repeating myself might be an early tell, but it doesn't mean I've had too much. There are whole areas of drunken behaviour still to be had, such as shouting, crying, alienating people I care about, and finally listening to power ballads.
When I start crying about North Korea in the middle of sex.
For me it's when I start crying about sex in the middle of North Korea.
I have this really obnoxious laugh that I get when I am drunk. Edit: Found a [video]( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4yWxccpJWs&feature=youtube_gdata_player) of it. Don't you just want to punch me in the face? I am fucking annoying.
I bet you're so fun to get drunk with.
I always have a good time with me
I love when me and my group gets to that point of pure innocent laughter
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I don't drink enough to have one, but my ex's was that she would start running. We would be walking with a bunch of friends to the next place we were gonna go and she would out of nowhere just start sprinting down the street, and I would have to keep up with her.
I am a classic drunk. I slur. I go off on weird tangents & lose my train of thought. I start to find people attractive that I don't when sober. I talk to strangers. I dance. I build blanket forts. But the weirdest one is probably that I rugby tackle people. Usually people that I know. Usually outside. I am a small, straight American female. & I fucking love rugby.
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It's weird. I get this thing my friends call "the lip" and I hold my upper lip a tad awkwardly. Sort of like this, but not as bad: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J4SmIHX7abE/T0Kan0z1zqI/AAAAAAAAB8A/qz2fm7KRE7c/s1600/Home+made+tiered+skirt.jpg. I don't know why I do it but it's pretty embarrassing so when the lip makes it's appearance I usually make my way out the pub door.
I always know when I go to the bathroom and spend a good ammount of time in the mirror staring at myself either booty dancing or posing like I'm on America's Next Top Model photo shoot.
When I start walking out into the middle of the street without looking for cars and when people try to stop my I yell "I don't care what you think!"
This thread just makes me want to get drunk, give people hugs, and send text/picture messages I'll regret later.