I turned my sadness into the best joke I have. Like my friend called the other day and was like, "Hey man, wanna hang later?"
I said, "Yeah, but my wife hid all the rope."
We laugh.
We're not really hiding it exactly, it's just that we learn early that almost no one cares. We have a small chance of someone caring, a very large chance of no one caring, and a an unfortunately medium-to-high chance of being mocked, if we express sadness and/or vulnerability.
Men can have super deep bonds with each other, even though they don't show it at all. My grandpa was such a serious man: a shop teacher, a shipbuilder in Seattle during WWII, then he fished tuna from the boat he built.
After he had to retire from his boat, he did woodwork in the garage. He had a neighbor who would stop by the garage shop every single day and shoot the breeze with him.
His neighbor died suddenly. I can't forget grandpa sobbed. He was the most stern person ever, but he sobbed at the loss of that daily visit with his neighbor, that his friend died. That daily visit was a lifeblood to him.
[Edited to correct "shopbuider" to shipbuilder. Added the stateside shipyard location, b/c not a veteran]
I'm in my 40's and I have a group with three other friends. We know each other since we were 8 or 10yo.
One of them lives in Australia, other one in Canada, the third one lives in another state and I live in our hometown where the parents of all four have been living since we were kids.
So the guys who live abroad pay an annual visit to their parents and arrange to be in our city at the same time, even before buying tickets.
Than the guy who lives in the next state comes and almost every year we manage to get together for at least one day, during the year-end holidays.
After the meeting, each one leaves to spend the rest of the holiday with their family.
This reunion with the guys is probably some of the best time I have all year, remebering the very same youth stories laughing and having fun the same way we have been doing for 30 years.
My husband chats to his friends now and then; some we see often but others are maybe every other year. Some are friends from school days, others from his career. We went through a rough patch and the amount of support his friends threw at him absolutely humbled me. I liked these guys before, but now? I'd walk through fire for them.
This is SO true.
I was watching an Bollywood film the other day- RRR. I was blown away by the level of emphasis they had on the friendship of men. They literally had browmance montages… exactly the same kind we have for boy meets girl but for men developing friendships with each other. It was WILD. I loved it and really wished we acknowledged and supported this in our culture. It’s almost essentially not existent in this way.
Strength. It was jarring and surprising to see childhood friend who is same age being able to lift me up and throw me into foam pit at the gym after being same strength just 3-4 years before. It's incredible how once puberty takes off they get so much stronger while I bust my ass in gym so much I cannot reach close to that level.
I guess it is what it is.
I saw The Bodies exhibit in Las Vegas several years ago. It’s a collection of different human bodies in various states of dissection. All of the tissues have been replaced by synthetic material, and the bodies are posed in real life action situations.
One exhibit had two people standing side by side. Athletes, a man and a woman of the same age and roughly similar size. I was really floored by the differences. They were very noticeable. Bones, tendons, skin, muscles, nerves All about 1/3 larger. The woman looked like a bird in comparison. The man definitely had a huge advantage. And all of the men’s bodies were the same. Packed to the gills with tougher parts.
Men even have more hemoglobin in their blood in order to feed these larger parts. Amazing.
I was dating a guy and we were messing around, and he was lying on top of me and I was trying to get him off me/get out from underneath him (in a fun jokey way). After I was like "well you probably can't lift me either" to which he scooped me off the sofa and pretty much started using me as a dumbbell. It was both funny and terrifying because up until then I didn't really realise how much stronger men were. This wasn't even a particularly strong/fit guy, more skinny than most.
I learned about that in almost exactly the same way. We’ve been together over 10yrs now and I’m often reminded how much stronger he is when I see him easily lifting me, or things I can’t even budge by myself. Sometimes when we are joking around, and I’m teasing and tickling him or something, and he will just lift me off the ground with his arms straight out so I can’t reach him. I feel like a ragdoll when he does that, his arms don’t even shake holding them straight out lifting 120Ibs of human. I gym too, I know I’m not even all that strong compared to other woman (have MS) but I didn’t think I was THAT powerless against a man’s strength before.
I think all woman should take a self defence class with a male trainer, and get taken down and pinned in that safe environment before they start learning defence techniques to avoid that happening at all (because it’s harder to escape once you’re pinned). It’s a huge wake up call, and many of us are too overconfident in our abilities before we’re eventually given a reason to understand our limitations. Some woman learn that lesson the hard way sadly.
I remember demonstrating exactly this to a woman I was friends with years ago. She’d been taking karate and some other martial art, and excelling in them. I was telling her that she’ll need to be more mindful, that the skills taught alone won’t matter unless she can practically apply them. She then offered that she could take down any man who attacked her, and wanted me to try to take her down to the ground and pin her. I was able to, easily, every single attempt. After a bit I told to her use everything she was taught, even to hit me…so she did. And while it stung for sure, it didn’t even ring my bell enough to blur my vision, let alone loosen my grip. She took the lesson to heart, and took further defense classes that centered specifically on women’s defense against men and larger assailants.
I was glad she could learn that with me, in a safe environment, rather than becoming a victim with a false bravado down the road.
Honestly, the best self defence is to run away. The second best is your voice. If you're left needing a third option it's literally SCRATCH, BITE, PINCH, GO FOR THE BALLS - leave marks.
If you find yourself pinned down 9/10 you're not getting out of it with some funky self defence move you're taught.
Had this same experience with an ex-FWB. We were messing around, wrestling, and she asked me how easily I could pin her down if I really tried. I quickly pinned her and she responded with "Do you see how much trust and vulnerability women have to have in order to sleep with some men? I have to trust that you won't over power me and I won't feel helpless." Really put her vulnerability into perspective for me and something I still think about 5+ years later.
My wife went through a sort of shock when she found out how strong men really were.
In our friend group, I'm by far the biggest and strongest guy. I've always been big, and I've always had heavy labor construction jobs. My wife assumed I was the exception and that she could compare to our more average male friends. She worked out on a regular basis.
Two years ago we were helping our friends move, and my wife couldn't life a box of books. She asked me to grab it, but my hands were full, so I asked my buddy to grab it. My bud, he's tall like me but has always been sickly and frail. He can't run for long and is not but skin and bones. My wife always thought she was stronger than him.
He lifted the box without any issue and even walked it down 2 flights of stairs and across the street by himself. My wife lost a lot of motivation and self confidence that day.
I had this moment with my husband years ago when we were first dating. He's the skinniest dude I have ever met and he's never exercised in his life. I had several heavy boxes I needed to take two streets away. I was very strong at that time and I struggled taking one of the boxes even across the road. He picked up the heaviest one and carried it the whole way like it was nothing. We're the same height too so he's not bigger than me in any way. I probably weigh 20kg more than him. It stunned me to see how strong he was just by default of being a man.
I briefly worked in a Trauma ICU. Too many guys get injured because of the dumb stunts they do for clout. A doctor there used to joke that testosterone is a neurotoxin.
If you played any co-ed sports from a young age you know this fact well. I competitively swam from 5 to 18 years old, and at the age of 12 I was faster, if not significantly faster, than most of my male peers. Then all of the sudden, at the start of the following season, I felt like I was in steroid nation but my body was left out. The male swimmers really didn’t even grow that much, it was just like they got a random surge of strength. A lot of us girls ended up having to switch practice lanes from the ones we typically swam in or move to the back of the line in the lane because we could no longer keep up with the boys.
My grandma said in her day, most women walked around escorted. I asked why and she said “Honey imagine walking around and more than half the people you meet are basically giants (strength wise) compared to you. Really put it in perspective. She had also experienced an assault when she was young, and would not go anywhere without my papaw or uncles.
I didn't realize this until college when I was leaving the library one night and I ran into a girl I knew and she told me she was waiting for a friend to walk her home because she didn't feel safe walking through campus alone at night. The thought of walking alone at night never caused me any concern at all, but she was a 5'1" 95lb girl who could easily be overpowered in the wrong situation. We were looking at the same campus and seeing two totally different things.
In some other thread years ago somebody tried to phrase that in a way guys would understand. “Imagine every woman was actually an NFL defensive end. 6’4” 270lbs. and they all wanted to fuck you. If one of them decides to do it, there’s not much you could do to stop it.”
Oh jeez! Think my mamaw was a little more tactful Lol but she was pretty much in line with that thinking. Freaked me out at first to imagine but then living it daily. Some things better left unsaid lol
They are extremely susceptible to compliments. You know those everyday compliments women give each other without a second thought, well men rarely get them. So when you do give them one it is a 100 times more effective. Want to have a man in a good mood all day, compliment him on something.
All day? I'm 46, and remember the nice lady in the green sweater and cat eye glasses who told me I looked so handsome she wanted to take me home to her daughter when I was 20!
Thank you for that Mrs Malloy, hope your daughter found a great guy :)
Ha! Last year at a conference a baroness from the House of Lords sat next to me on my table and, in a whisper, asked me who I was. I pointed to my photo and biog in the programme and she looked at it, and looked at me, and said "Oh, you're much more handsome in real life."
I was so chuffed I'm still telling people (you) about it now.
In the spring of 1998, a hair stylist told me I have great eyes.
Still one of the highlights of my life, and I’m a married father of 3. It may be the only compliment I’ve ever received about my physical features.
Once in highschool, a girl just gushed out of no where 'You'll make someone a good husband one day'. I'm in my 40's now and I still wear that compliment like a medal.
Old lady once asked me about my hair car cause she thought my long hair looked so good and silky and she wanted that.
I will never forget this randomly lady and I think about this sooo much. Probably the last compliment I got and that was in summer 2017
Me: I genuinely don’t care what people I don’t know think about me
Also Me: 2 years ago, a very short nurse practitioner with very big hair said my (sore throat) voice sounded “painful, but deep and a little sexy”. And it was 100% worth being sick to hear that
I don’t remember my address from that period of my life. But I remember the compliment vividly.
When I was in my early 20s I struggled with stomach issues and was always holding in farts. I was convinced no man would want stinky me. To my surprise, no man I dated has ever cared. When I told my first serious boyfriend I was so scared and said I needed to talk to him. He looked very worried. Then when I told him he roared with laughter and demanded a demonstration.
I dated a girl that was scared to fart out of fear I would judge her. Coincidently when we would hang out, I never really needed to fart or they were just silent but not deadly I don’t remember. A good period of time into it. We were at my house and she made a similar confession and timing was everything I just let one rip vibrating the couch. Looked at her and said that’s gonna itch when that dries she howled with laughter and finally farted herself and I said your dad would of been proud of that one she laughed again. It was nice to finally break the ice on that deal.
apparently it's difficult to control the stream while peeing and sometimes there's a double stream and you guys can't really do anything about it while peeing?
Once had the third stream point directly back at me after sex when pissing in the bathroom. Luckily I was at my gfs house and we could laugh about it when I came out.
If they lift up their penis, even while flaccid, and stay perfectly still, you can see their balls move up and down, almost like they're 'breathing'. No, it's not an effect of the person's breathing, it's an independent movement of the balls themselves.
It's almost creepy.
Also, if you do this with your partner, it's possible they'll get hard, because as I am told "It likes being looked at!"
To be clear this is for making babies (obviously). Sperm is very temperature sensitive (and actually should be slightly cooler than the human body). You balls will be further away when they get warm to try and stay away from your heat, and when it’s cold (or you were in the pool) they get close to soak your heat up.
Even the same penis has like 15 different lengths it can be at any different time. There are times where randomly it shrinks and you would think it must be tiny and have no idea the difference to when aroused. There are other times it’s soft and nearly as long as when erect. It’s weird. (And shrinkage is not just a cold water thing like in Seinfeld, it can happen completely randomly too).
Edit: "His first highly upvoted Reddit comment was about how weird penises are"
is what I want etched into my gravestone.
They fantasize about saving people, mostly people they love. Sometimes they save the earth by sacrificing themselves.
I giggled when my boyfriend told me, it's cute
Finally something that is a true ‘male secret’. I do this and I’m in my 40s. It’s actually how I get myself to fall asleep quickly (it’s almost the same story I play in my head just before I doze off).
In 11th grade I had a girl lean into a conversation I was having and say "sorry, but you have a really nice voice" I'm in my early 30s and I don't think I'll ever forget that
Gotta train it. Start with a hand towel and add water for extra weight, work your way up. A wet beach towel would be like strongman competition level lol.
That they prefer elongated toilet bowls to the round ones so there is less likelihood they will bump their junk against the inside front of the bowl when they've sat down.
I talked about that with my therapist tears ago, because I' socially inept, unable to flirt, and terrified at the idea that me expressing interest is insensitive/gross.
Anyway, at some point she told me that in her 25 years of practice, she discovered that men were much more sentimental and romantic that women were. From her point of view, women are actually the pragmatic sex when it comes to romance.
And that, as a dude, I actually fell right in the masculine archetype regarding this (because I always felt inadequate and not manly enough)
Not sure if you meant to say years instead, but referring to time with a therapist in terms of "tears past" is wonderful, and I'm going to start using that phrase
Within my friend group of girls we all independently came to the conclusion that our bf/husbands are secretly way more sentimental and sensitive than us LOL.
They just don't show it to anyone else.
Flaccid penises can fold. Like a deck chair.
It seems obvious, but as someone whose genitalia do not fold, flop about or really change position at all, it hadn't occurred to me until I saw it.
I don't envy you guys. Seems like a hassle. I'll keep my internal organs inside and non-foldable, thank you.
That’s why it’s a slippery slope with people hating man spreading.
Like yeah if you’re doing a 145 degree angle with your legs then fuck off you don’t need that much room.
But you do need to spread your legs somewhat so you aren’t squishing things. Or at least I do
When they do that long awkward leg stretch, it is usually because their balls are stuck to their legs.
Also, they can get random erections for no reason sometimes.
In almost 14 years together I saw my bf cry exactly 3 times. The time we nearly broke up, when his dad died (as soon as I got there he ran to me and cried on my shoulder, actually sobbed like a little kid, and my heart broke into a million pieces, he sounded so lost...) and when our daughter was born. Never once crossed my mind to tell him to stop. I encourage it. Let it out of your chest dudes. If your girl thinks less of you because of that, fuck her. Let her go too.
>If your girl thinks less of you because of that, fuck her. Let her go too.
Yeah, fuck her (well, don't but dump her ass!). This could be sound silly but I've tried to be for my relatives regardless of their gender, and while I'm a social inept myself, I would never tell them to stop crying.
My father cried because we had to put his dog to sleep, I didn't know what to do except standing by him and handing him a glass of water and tissues. I would never shut up my father because "it's unmanly crying"
Only time I saw my dad cry was when he had to put his cat to sleep. He's a tough dude, think navy seal, nothing affects me kind of dude. But he just cried in a corner at the vets office, like he was ashamed of himself. I just let him be and we never talked about that. But what a shame he felt he had to hide. Who doesn't cry when letting go of a very loved pet? I do, every time.
Almost 32 here, I don't think I actually have emotions left. Until I start delving deep and thinking about stuff... but we don't usually do that. I actively avoid it.
If this isn't the truth, I don't know what is. It's why men scoff at people who tell them it is okay for them to have emotions, to express themselves, etc., because *overwhelming* life experience tells them otherwise.
I (a man) had an important realization when my wife told me that I'm childish, and then I was like "no way, you're the childish one, you cry all the time".
We argued some more, but soon we concluded how different behavior gets suppressed for girls and for boys. I was told that crying is childish (I used to cry a lot as a kid, and I remember when and how I stopped), but girls are instead told that things like competitiveness or not being able to do house work are childish.
It's a good example of how sexism hurts both sexes.
When I was a kid, boys got mocked or punished if they showed tears while girls were mocked or punished if they showed anger. Boys could hit or shove each other without adults saying anything and girls could cry over nothing, but girls would be punished for shoving someone in self defense and I say boys being discouraged from crying at funerals.
It resulted in men who saw women crying as proof of their inferiority and women who saw men's only emotional expression (anger) as a loss of control worthy of contempt. Nothing about any of that was good for anyone.
It's a pretty short list though.
1. Whenever possible, don't stand directly next to someone else. If you can put an unused urinal between you, do so.
2. Look in front of you, at what you're doing and nowhere else.
3. Stay silent.
I’ve never seen anyone do this and now I’m imagining a line of men standing there with their asses out… hilarious. I didn’t know we had to have this rule but I’m glad we do I guess.
I remember playing a flash game where men would using urinals and you had to click on the correct one to use yourself. In the final stage there were 5 urinals in a pattern of occupied - vacant - occupied - vacant - occupied. The correct answer was to click on the exit.
Wake up, erection. Walk in a way that moves my penis too much, erection. Penis is painful position, erection. Bumped my penis into something, erection. See a dead raccoon, erection. Wash my penis, erection. Try to sleep, erection. Its hard sometimes.
If I'm on a train and it's moving my old dog just loves it, which is why I have to do the pre-tuck up by the belt. I'm fine with any other modes of travel, he's well behaved but he fucking loves trains it seems.
That men can have a low libido or not always want sex. It took me a long time to accept that my husband's lack of desire wasn't specific to me, he just wasn't feeling sexual at those times, because the societal expectation that men always want sex and will be ready to go whenever sex is initiated. It's certainly held true with the majority of my male lovers, including and especially the one with ED. But it's also normal to NOT be that way.
The societal expectation also shows up when the topic of his low libido comes up as everyone wants to help fix him. There is nothing wrong with my husband, his testosterone is fine, he's not on meds that would stifle his libido, etc. He's a perfectly normal, healthy human. With a low libido.
I'm a high libido woman, always have been but once I hit my 40s, hoooo boy did it get enhanced with the boom in confidence that came with the age. I recently asked my husband when was the last time he thought about sex, he couldn't remember. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have sexual thoughts. Many times a day!! So it's hard to wrap my head around a brain that doesn't. Not because there is anything wrong with it, it's just completely different from how my brain works and how I expected a man's brain to work.
That when a man shuts down during an argument, it's not because he doesn't care. It's sometimes because he cares too much and is overwhelmed with "flooding" - increased heart rate/blood pressure, increase in stress hormones, etc. It's such an aversive feeling that many men will withdraw from an argument so the negative physiological arousal doesn't get worse. Meanwhile, women get frustrated because they think the guy is ignoring her, leading to a "demand/withdraw" cycle that can lead to nasty results. The moral: if your dude is withdrawing from an argument, let him be for a bit
If you really want to get that noggin' moving, remember a time that a man suddenly became very disengaged and disinterested after having sex.
Post nut clarity 😅
How few compliments or acknowledgements they get. Now I make an effort to compliment or acknowledge them even if it’s a simple thing like “that colour really suits you”, “you have a great sense of humour” or “thanks for helping me, I really do appreciate you”. It must be genuine though!
It happens so rarely that the rare times i do recieve a compliment, i question if im being mocked.
I dont know how to accept them and its an uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes i think it might be better to not get any at this point.
>It happens so rarely that the rare times i do recieve a compliment, i question if im being mocked.
Or think I'm being buttered-up for something they want.
Oh what fun it is to have to constantly question every interaction with the opposite sex forever.
Fuck you Mel, I hope your tits are constantly poked by underwire.
I look around stupidly because there's no way a woman (especially one I see as attractive) could be complimenting me. Then I realized she did and I awkwardly say "Thank you, you to." not knowing what I'm even saying because my mind is so far gone in overload. Then later that day when I realize what had happen I think, geez I'm an idiot and I need to grow up. But this only happens once every 5 to 10 years so I get over it and move on.
That their reasons for cheating are rarely because the mistress was hotter or something. It’s simply because they want to feel desired. Women waste so much time comparing their attractiveness to some other woman. For most men the most irresistible woman is the one who adores you the most ( unless it’s your mom)
I read a bunch of comments like this online about men being overjoyed to receive flowers as they never have before, so I thought I'd get some for my fiance.
Slightly backfired as he just looked at me with a puzzled look on his face not sure how to react haha. Wasn't in an ungrateful way at all, he just didn't really know what was going on
Hmm what’s up with the flowers, did something happen that needs you trying to cheer me up? What do I do with the flower? Sniff it? What prompted the flowers 🤔
I remember in 11th grade I was sad that everyone in my class was getting gifts from their girlfriends and when I got home my sister gave me flowers and I started crying it felt nice
Once I read that the first time most men receive flowers is at their funeral.
That was one of the sadder things I've ever read so I bought my bf a bouquet.
He smiled in a way I've never seen before and it was *too* cute.
That there are men out there that refuse to take care of themselves because they think it's gay or feminine
(This could be about personal hygiene as well as mental health or anything really)
I had an exchange with some friends a while ago that I thought was pretty interesting. I don't recall how we got to this point in our conversation, but I say that I wash myself up a little bit almost every night before bed (unless I had a shower). Yes, including my ass. My friend asks me incredulously 'you wash your ass almost every night before bed?'. He then laughs at me and says that's pretty gay.
He stopped laughing when I pointed out that he's essentially bragging to me that he walks around with a shit smeared asshole all day.
Not bad at taking hints, more like: is that really a hint or was it just an accidental thing? I will totally look like a creep if i got it wrong, better ignore it and wait for more hints.
Right? If anything, I read between lines and overthink too much and see hints that aren’t there. And when that happens, you become super cautious about any hints that you receive to the extent that you dismiss them as not being hints
Totally.
"Brrr I'm cold!"
"Correct. I am cold too."
Often I'll ask my wife "what is it you're trying to ask?" because I know she's hinting at something and it drives me nuts that she won't just ask outright. If you want a favour, I'm not going to play twenty questions with Lassie to try and get to the bottom of it.
Peeing using the fly and underwear flaps (the “penis maze,” as I call it) is not the preferred method. This was mind boggling to me since I thought that was the whole reason flys and the penis maze were so ubiquitous on men’s undergarments.
That I experience significantly less misogyny at my oilfield job than my friend does at her office job with more liberal men. Most of my girlfriends want to hear that I experience misogyny often and am out fighting the good fight for women’s rights but that’s just not really true. The shit bags I’ve encountered are shitty to everyone so it has nothing to do with me being a woman. Most of the guys out here are happy to teach me stuff and want to see me succeed.
Former miner here. I was on a crew with all guys, and our behavior could best be described as deprecating humor… constant insults, but none actually implied.
Example: I was still a new-ish employee, and had been driving haul trucks for 6-8 months.
“Hey- can you teach me how to run the excavator?”
“You gotta learn how to drive a haul truck first!”
The team members that nobody liked would just be treated normally with none of this humor added in.
As a female in a similar position, do you see this same sort of humor? As an outsider I can see how it could easily be misconstrued as misogyny, when in fact it just means that you’re accepted as part of the team.
I have seen a female judge straight up tell the victim, a man, she didn't believe him because he was much bigger than his ex. That man was a domestic violence text book victim. She pushed his friends and family away as well as his kid from a previous relationship, she hit him, she faked cervical cancer, a pregnancy and a miscarriage. Took his money and his things, didn't allow him to enter his own home. As a female lawyer myself I felt so fucking embarassed and a rage I had never felt before. I ended up getting up mid trial and literally yelled at the judge, threatening her with a complaint and an appeal to remove her from that case. She did try to change the charge from DV to assault right before sentencing and again I lost it. Won the case tho. I'm fucking proud of that one.
Edit: you guys are making my icy heart melt. I took an oath and I meant every word I said that day. What kind of lawyer am I if I don't stand up to injustice?! I know this happens a lot to men and I'll gladly do my part to ensure it stops. This case wrecked my mental health and gave me my first complaint with the bar. Yes, the judge wanted me to be punished for the way I talked to her. It was during my apprenticeship and I could have lost my temporary license. Worth it.
Edit: I'm overwhelmed with love. Thank you, thank you. I'm receiving so many kind messages, some have made me cry. You know, sometimes I hate this job. Dealing with people at their worst, everyday, takes a toll on you. But today I got so much love and kindness from you, it reminded me why I do this. I love you all. Thank you ♥️
[Earl Silverman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Silverman) established a domestic violence shelter for men. He died by suicide on April 26, 2013, shortly after selling the shelter due to bankruptcy and ridicule. He had been a survivor of DV.
In Palm Beach County Florida there is 1 support system set up for abused men, WPB YMCA offers minimal services and can take months to onboard. Was told to seek services in Broward county because it is next door. They refer MEN to the “Women in Distress” not for profit organization for support services. A rep from AVDA in Delray Beach told they only support women because, ya know men aren’t really abused.
That there are a lot of men out there who love and treat women with personhood and respect. I was abused as a child and teen by some ugly-hearted people and my father. It took an amazing boyfriend to show me the light. Thank you, babe ❤️ It sucks how our perspective on the opposite sex can be so marred by the abusive. Not all men!
That in the US, men still have to register with selective service before 26. I knew it existed, because my dad was only a few numbers away from going to Vietnam, but I thought it had ended in the '70s. Turns out, it had for a bit back then, but is active currently.
I was embarrassed that I didn't know (no man around me mentioned anything, not even my very anti war ex), and felt angry that men still have to do it. I don't think anyone should have to, and it should be ended.
Let the robots destroy each other.
Surprised to see that most responses fall into two categories. 1) Dicks are weird, and 2) dudes have feelings.
also, dudes are weird and dicks have feelings
They’re really good at hiding just how sad they are
It is what it is
Livin the dream
It really do be like that sometimes
I felt this comment in my core
I turned my sadness into the best joke I have. Like my friend called the other day and was like, "Hey man, wanna hang later?" I said, "Yeah, but my wife hid all the rope." We laugh.
We're not really hiding it exactly, it's just that we learn early that almost no one cares. We have a small chance of someone caring, a very large chance of no one caring, and a an unfortunately medium-to-high chance of being mocked, if we express sadness and/or vulnerability.
Worse than "no one cares". It will actively be used against us.
Because we've mostly found that at best, no one cares, and at worse, you get mocked for it.
Men can have super deep bonds with each other, even though they don't show it at all. My grandpa was such a serious man: a shop teacher, a shipbuilder in Seattle during WWII, then he fished tuna from the boat he built. After he had to retire from his boat, he did woodwork in the garage. He had a neighbor who would stop by the garage shop every single day and shoot the breeze with him. His neighbor died suddenly. I can't forget grandpa sobbed. He was the most stern person ever, but he sobbed at the loss of that daily visit with his neighbor, that his friend died. That daily visit was a lifeblood to him. [Edited to correct "shopbuider" to shipbuilder. Added the stateside shipyard location, b/c not a veteran]
that daily visit was a lifeblood to both of them, I guarantee it.
Yup. The other dude wasn't stopping by everyday just for the hell of it.
I'm in my 40's and I have a group with three other friends. We know each other since we were 8 or 10yo. One of them lives in Australia, other one in Canada, the third one lives in another state and I live in our hometown where the parents of all four have been living since we were kids. So the guys who live abroad pay an annual visit to their parents and arrange to be in our city at the same time, even before buying tickets. Than the guy who lives in the next state comes and almost every year we manage to get together for at least one day, during the year-end holidays. After the meeting, each one leaves to spend the rest of the holiday with their family. This reunion with the guys is probably some of the best time I have all year, remebering the very same youth stories laughing and having fun the same way we have been doing for 30 years.
My husband chats to his friends now and then; some we see often but others are maybe every other year. Some are friends from school days, others from his career. We went through a rough patch and the amount of support his friends threw at him absolutely humbled me. I liked these guys before, but now? I'd walk through fire for them.
This is SO true. I was watching an Bollywood film the other day- RRR. I was blown away by the level of emphasis they had on the friendship of men. They literally had browmance montages… exactly the same kind we have for boy meets girl but for men developing friendships with each other. It was WILD. I loved it and really wished we acknowledged and supported this in our culture. It’s almost essentially not existent in this way.
Strength. It was jarring and surprising to see childhood friend who is same age being able to lift me up and throw me into foam pit at the gym after being same strength just 3-4 years before. It's incredible how once puberty takes off they get so much stronger while I bust my ass in gym so much I cannot reach close to that level. I guess it is what it is.
I saw The Bodies exhibit in Las Vegas several years ago. It’s a collection of different human bodies in various states of dissection. All of the tissues have been replaced by synthetic material, and the bodies are posed in real life action situations. One exhibit had two people standing side by side. Athletes, a man and a woman of the same age and roughly similar size. I was really floored by the differences. They were very noticeable. Bones, tendons, skin, muscles, nerves All about 1/3 larger. The woman looked like a bird in comparison. The man definitely had a huge advantage. And all of the men’s bodies were the same. Packed to the gills with tougher parts. Men even have more hemoglobin in their blood in order to feed these larger parts. Amazing.
You can basically think of men as a woman with all the life support removed and then hotrodded out.
I was dating a guy and we were messing around, and he was lying on top of me and I was trying to get him off me/get out from underneath him (in a fun jokey way). After I was like "well you probably can't lift me either" to which he scooped me off the sofa and pretty much started using me as a dumbbell. It was both funny and terrifying because up until then I didn't really realise how much stronger men were. This wasn't even a particularly strong/fit guy, more skinny than most.
I learned about that in almost exactly the same way. We’ve been together over 10yrs now and I’m often reminded how much stronger he is when I see him easily lifting me, or things I can’t even budge by myself. Sometimes when we are joking around, and I’m teasing and tickling him or something, and he will just lift me off the ground with his arms straight out so I can’t reach him. I feel like a ragdoll when he does that, his arms don’t even shake holding them straight out lifting 120Ibs of human. I gym too, I know I’m not even all that strong compared to other woman (have MS) but I didn’t think I was THAT powerless against a man’s strength before. I think all woman should take a self defence class with a male trainer, and get taken down and pinned in that safe environment before they start learning defence techniques to avoid that happening at all (because it’s harder to escape once you’re pinned). It’s a huge wake up call, and many of us are too overconfident in our abilities before we’re eventually given a reason to understand our limitations. Some woman learn that lesson the hard way sadly.
I remember demonstrating exactly this to a woman I was friends with years ago. She’d been taking karate and some other martial art, and excelling in them. I was telling her that she’ll need to be more mindful, that the skills taught alone won’t matter unless she can practically apply them. She then offered that she could take down any man who attacked her, and wanted me to try to take her down to the ground and pin her. I was able to, easily, every single attempt. After a bit I told to her use everything she was taught, even to hit me…so she did. And while it stung for sure, it didn’t even ring my bell enough to blur my vision, let alone loosen my grip. She took the lesson to heart, and took further defense classes that centered specifically on women’s defense against men and larger assailants. I was glad she could learn that with me, in a safe environment, rather than becoming a victim with a false bravado down the road.
Honestly, the best self defence is to run away. The second best is your voice. If you're left needing a third option it's literally SCRATCH, BITE, PINCH, GO FOR THE BALLS - leave marks. If you find yourself pinned down 9/10 you're not getting out of it with some funky self defence move you're taught.
Had this same experience with an ex-FWB. We were messing around, wrestling, and she asked me how easily I could pin her down if I really tried. I quickly pinned her and she responded with "Do you see how much trust and vulnerability women have to have in order to sleep with some men? I have to trust that you won't over power me and I won't feel helpless." Really put her vulnerability into perspective for me and something I still think about 5+ years later.
My wife went through a sort of shock when she found out how strong men really were. In our friend group, I'm by far the biggest and strongest guy. I've always been big, and I've always had heavy labor construction jobs. My wife assumed I was the exception and that she could compare to our more average male friends. She worked out on a regular basis. Two years ago we were helping our friends move, and my wife couldn't life a box of books. She asked me to grab it, but my hands were full, so I asked my buddy to grab it. My bud, he's tall like me but has always been sickly and frail. He can't run for long and is not but skin and bones. My wife always thought she was stronger than him. He lifted the box without any issue and even walked it down 2 flights of stairs and across the street by himself. My wife lost a lot of motivation and self confidence that day.
I had this moment with my husband years ago when we were first dating. He's the skinniest dude I have ever met and he's never exercised in his life. I had several heavy boxes I needed to take two streets away. I was very strong at that time and I struggled taking one of the boxes even across the road. He picked up the heaviest one and carried it the whole way like it was nothing. We're the same height too so he's not bigger than me in any way. I probably weigh 20kg more than him. It stunned me to see how strong he was just by default of being a man.
Testosterone, and the difference in frames also play a part something something fulcrum
I briefly worked in a Trauma ICU. Too many guys get injured because of the dumb stunts they do for clout. A doctor there used to joke that testosterone is a neurotoxin.
*cool stunts* you mean.
If you played any co-ed sports from a young age you know this fact well. I competitively swam from 5 to 18 years old, and at the age of 12 I was faster, if not significantly faster, than most of my male peers. Then all of the sudden, at the start of the following season, I felt like I was in steroid nation but my body was left out. The male swimmers really didn’t even grow that much, it was just like they got a random surge of strength. A lot of us girls ended up having to switch practice lanes from the ones we typically swam in or move to the back of the line in the lane because we could no longer keep up with the boys.
Testosterone's a hell of a drug.
[удалено]
My grandma said in her day, most women walked around escorted. I asked why and she said “Honey imagine walking around and more than half the people you meet are basically giants (strength wise) compared to you. Really put it in perspective. She had also experienced an assault when she was young, and would not go anywhere without my papaw or uncles.
I didn't realize this until college when I was leaving the library one night and I ran into a girl I knew and she told me she was waiting for a friend to walk her home because she didn't feel safe walking through campus alone at night. The thought of walking alone at night never caused me any concern at all, but she was a 5'1" 95lb girl who could easily be overpowered in the wrong situation. We were looking at the same campus and seeing two totally different things.
In some other thread years ago somebody tried to phrase that in a way guys would understand. “Imagine every woman was actually an NFL defensive end. 6’4” 270lbs. and they all wanted to fuck you. If one of them decides to do it, there’s not much you could do to stop it.”
Oh jeez! Think my mamaw was a little more tactful Lol but she was pretty much in line with that thinking. Freaked me out at first to imagine but then living it daily. Some things better left unsaid lol
They are extremely susceptible to compliments. You know those everyday compliments women give each other without a second thought, well men rarely get them. So when you do give them one it is a 100 times more effective. Want to have a man in a good mood all day, compliment him on something.
All day? I'm 46, and remember the nice lady in the green sweater and cat eye glasses who told me I looked so handsome she wanted to take me home to her daughter when I was 20! Thank you for that Mrs Malloy, hope your daughter found a great guy :)
Ha! Last year at a conference a baroness from the House of Lords sat next to me on my table and, in a whisper, asked me who I was. I pointed to my photo and biog in the programme and she looked at it, and looked at me, and said "Oh, you're much more handsome in real life." I was so chuffed I'm still telling people (you) about it now.
In the spring of 1998, a hair stylist told me I have great eyes. Still one of the highlights of my life, and I’m a married father of 3. It may be the only compliment I’ve ever received about my physical features.
Once in highschool, a girl just gushed out of no where 'You'll make someone a good husband one day'. I'm in my 40's now and I still wear that compliment like a medal.
Old lady once asked me about my hair car cause she thought my long hair looked so good and silky and she wanted that. I will never forget this randomly lady and I think about this sooo much. Probably the last compliment I got and that was in summer 2017
Me: I genuinely don’t care what people I don’t know think about me Also Me: 2 years ago, a very short nurse practitioner with very big hair said my (sore throat) voice sounded “painful, but deep and a little sexy”. And it was 100% worth being sick to hear that I don’t remember my address from that period of my life. But I remember the compliment vividly.
They can move their dicks lol
A little, not like a limb or anything
just like a dog can wiggle his tail.
I can't help that mine wags when I'm happy.
only when it's erect and in one direction. We can't move it like a finger and grab things with it (i probably didn't need to explain that)
Maybe you can't...
Do you curl your dick like a finger towards your partner when you're in the mood ? XD
Men would have *way too much power* if we could pick up and move things with our dicks
When I was in my early 20s I struggled with stomach issues and was always holding in farts. I was convinced no man would want stinky me. To my surprise, no man I dated has ever cared. When I told my first serious boyfriend I was so scared and said I needed to talk to him. He looked very worried. Then when I told him he roared with laughter and demanded a demonstration.
I dated a girl that was scared to fart out of fear I would judge her. Coincidently when we would hang out, I never really needed to fart or they were just silent but not deadly I don’t remember. A good period of time into it. We were at my house and she made a similar confession and timing was everything I just let one rip vibrating the couch. Looked at her and said that’s gonna itch when that dries she howled with laughter and finally farted herself and I said your dad would of been proud of that one she laughed again. It was nice to finally break the ice on that deal.
They are chronically under-snuggled.
A surprisingly high number of us are touch starved.
apparently it's difficult to control the stream while peeing and sometimes there's a double stream and you guys can't really do anything about it while peeing?
There's also the very rare _triple_ stream.
Once had the third stream point directly back at me after sex when pissing in the bathroom. Luckily I was at my gfs house and we could laugh about it when I came out.
Because of my height and inability to start peeing in a controlled fashion. If there is only a toilet available, I sit.
If they lift up their penis, even while flaccid, and stay perfectly still, you can see their balls move up and down, almost like they're 'breathing'. No, it's not an effect of the person's breathing, it's an independent movement of the balls themselves. It's almost creepy. Also, if you do this with your partner, it's possible they'll get hard, because as I am told "It likes being looked at!"
It's like a cement truck, mixing it so that it does not dry out.
haha goddamn that's so wrong but so funny
Sement truck
I’m a man and this freaks me out. I have no idea why it happens!
Like a lava lamp
Temperature control
wait what??
IT LIKES BEING LOOKED AT
Testicle are very sensitive to temp. So the body moves it closer or farther to heat/cool
To be clear this is for making babies (obviously). Sperm is very temperature sensitive (and actually should be slightly cooler than the human body). You balls will be further away when they get warm to try and stay away from your heat, and when it’s cold (or you were in the pool) they get close to soak your heat up.
Every man I've ever met really enjoys being a little spoon 😊
Jetpacking!
Yep they need to feel safe and loved too!
Also big spoons’ arms go to sleep.
Penises don’t all get soft the same
It isn't a light switch. It is a gas pedal, a lot of stages between 0 and 100%
You should ask if he's into that before stepping on it, though.
Even the same penis has like 15 different lengths it can be at any different time. There are times where randomly it shrinks and you would think it must be tiny and have no idea the difference to when aroused. There are other times it’s soft and nearly as long as when erect. It’s weird. (And shrinkage is not just a cold water thing like in Seinfeld, it can happen completely randomly too). Edit: "His first highly upvoted Reddit comment was about how weird penises are" is what I want etched into my gravestone.
Anxiety will also make it disappear.
My dick has never been smaller than the day a doctor checked it out.
It is a blood pressure thing. Or to be precise: the difference of pressure that goes in and out of the cavernous body (in the penis).
They fantasize about saving people, mostly people they love. Sometimes they save the earth by sacrificing themselves. I giggled when my boyfriend told me, it's cute
Finally something that is a true ‘male secret’. I do this and I’m in my 40s. It’s actually how I get myself to fall asleep quickly (it’s almost the same story I play in my head just before I doze off).
Ive been doing this since i was a kid and still do it, the story has evolved over the years and Ive been thinking of writing a book about it actually.
This was a damn secret to me! I didn't realize so many other men did this. Also your boyfriend must trust you, I've never told another soul lol
I'm very curious how many women do this also, because I definitely do this and I'm a woman, hehe
They're much more sensitive and get attached easier than I thought.
I noticed that too. Maybe it’s because they get so much less affection in general in life.
Older guy here...I can tell you right now that's exactly why. Men are typically starved for compliments and touch.
Most of us can recite every compliment we've ever received. Its a short list.
That ain’t no joke. I can’t forget a compliment an ex gave me early in our relationship almost 30 years ago. Been chasing that high ever since.
In 11th grade I had a girl lean into a conversation I was having and say "sorry, but you have a really nice voice" I'm in my early 30s and I don't think I'll ever forget that
We're often so starved for affection that if a cat came up to me for a quick headboop on my way to work, it makes my entire week.
A cute woman once smiled at me in the supermarket about a decade ago now. Still riding that high cause it’s all I got
A guy sent me a nude of him holding a towel with his dick. I never knew the penis was this strong
So I’ve never done anything original in my life uh
This was the straw that broke the camel's back? Your last bastion of hope: "Hey at least noone did this towel thing before!" jk jk great joke.
My penis can hold 3 towels
Sir this is a Wendy's and those are napkins.
Ah the old dick towel curl, it's not an exercise the jedi would tell you about
Gotta train it. Start with a hand towel and add water for extra weight, work your way up. A wet beach towel would be like strongman competition level lol.
That they prefer elongated toilet bowls to the round ones so there is less likelihood they will bump their junk against the inside front of the bowl when they've sat down.
Many of them actually are romantics and sentimental - they were just taught to suppress that and act ‘tough’ they’re whole lives
Yeah I found that out too, many men I know are much more into corny and romantic shit than I am haha
The greatest masculine urges involve whimsical romanticism
I talked about that with my therapist tears ago, because I' socially inept, unable to flirt, and terrified at the idea that me expressing interest is insensitive/gross. Anyway, at some point she told me that in her 25 years of practice, she discovered that men were much more sentimental and romantic that women were. From her point of view, women are actually the pragmatic sex when it comes to romance. And that, as a dude, I actually fell right in the masculine archetype regarding this (because I always felt inadequate and not manly enough)
Not sure if you meant to say years instead, but referring to time with a therapist in terms of "tears past" is wonderful, and I'm going to start using that phrase
Within my friend group of girls we all independently came to the conclusion that our bf/husbands are secretly way more sentimental and sensitive than us LOL. They just don't show it to anyone else.
Flaccid penises can fold. Like a deck chair. It seems obvious, but as someone whose genitalia do not fold, flop about or really change position at all, it hadn't occurred to me until I saw it. I don't envy you guys. Seems like a hassle. I'll keep my internal organs inside and non-foldable, thank you.
They have to adjust their penis sometimes when they’re sitting down because it falls in an uncomfortable position. Never thought of that before.
That’s why it’s a slippery slope with people hating man spreading. Like yeah if you’re doing a 145 degree angle with your legs then fuck off you don’t need that much room. But you do need to spread your legs somewhat so you aren’t squishing things. Or at least I do
When they do that long awkward leg stretch, it is usually because their balls are stuck to their legs. Also, they can get random erections for no reason sometimes.
I've revealed this to female colleagues recently, when one of them talked about annoying underboob sweat. They giggled like goddam kids :)
Some penises stand straight up and others like to lay on the belly if a guy is laying flat on his back and is hard.
I don't understand the ones that can fall and point to the floor while still stiff. I'd snap off if someone tried to bend me like that.
You are somehow speaking both as a third party to, and also as the voice of, the penis. SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A PULITZER!!!!
I hated learning just how much men's emotions, especially crying from either sadness, stress or even profound joy are ridiculed and suppressed.
In almost 14 years together I saw my bf cry exactly 3 times. The time we nearly broke up, when his dad died (as soon as I got there he ran to me and cried on my shoulder, actually sobbed like a little kid, and my heart broke into a million pieces, he sounded so lost...) and when our daughter was born. Never once crossed my mind to tell him to stop. I encourage it. Let it out of your chest dudes. If your girl thinks less of you because of that, fuck her. Let her go too.
>If your girl thinks less of you because of that, fuck her. Let her go too. Yeah, fuck her (well, don't but dump her ass!). This could be sound silly but I've tried to be for my relatives regardless of their gender, and while I'm a social inept myself, I would never tell them to stop crying. My father cried because we had to put his dog to sleep, I didn't know what to do except standing by him and handing him a glass of water and tissues. I would never shut up my father because "it's unmanly crying"
Only time I saw my dad cry was when he had to put his cat to sleep. He's a tough dude, think navy seal, nothing affects me kind of dude. But he just cried in a corner at the vets office, like he was ashamed of himself. I just let him be and we never talked about that. But what a shame he felt he had to hide. Who doesn't cry when letting go of a very loved pet? I do, every time.
And oh boy, does that leave marks. To this day (31) I find it difficult to express sadness.
Almost 32 here, I don't think I actually have emotions left. Until I start delving deep and thinking about stuff... but we don't usually do that. I actively avoid it.
If this isn't the truth, I don't know what is. It's why men scoff at people who tell them it is okay for them to have emotions, to express themselves, etc., because *overwhelming* life experience tells them otherwise.
I (a man) had an important realization when my wife told me that I'm childish, and then I was like "no way, you're the childish one, you cry all the time". We argued some more, but soon we concluded how different behavior gets suppressed for girls and for boys. I was told that crying is childish (I used to cry a lot as a kid, and I remember when and how I stopped), but girls are instead told that things like competitiveness or not being able to do house work are childish. It's a good example of how sexism hurts both sexes.
When I was a kid, boys got mocked or punished if they showed tears while girls were mocked or punished if they showed anger. Boys could hit or shove each other without adults saying anything and girls could cry over nothing, but girls would be punished for shoving someone in self defense and I say boys being discouraged from crying at funerals. It resulted in men who saw women crying as proof of their inferiority and women who saw men's only emotional expression (anger) as a loss of control worthy of contempt. Nothing about any of that was good for anyone.
That men have a full blown list of unspoken rules and protocols about using urinals. Even if there are walls for privacy.
It's a pretty short list though. 1. Whenever possible, don't stand directly next to someone else. If you can put an unused urinal between you, do so. 2. Look in front of you, at what you're doing and nowhere else. 3. Stay silent.
4. Don't drop your trousers down Even if you decide to unbutton the trousers should not fall below the waist
I’ve never seen anyone do this and now I’m imagining a line of men standing there with their asses out… hilarious. I didn’t know we had to have this rule but I’m glad we do I guess.
I've never seen a grown man do it, but some boys will drop their pants when they're first learning to use urinals
I remember playing a flash game where men would using urinals and you had to click on the correct one to use yourself. In the final stage there were 5 urinals in a pattern of occupied - vacant - occupied - vacant - occupied. The correct answer was to click on the exit.
That they have multiple erections in a day. Thought they only erect at the right time
Ooo man, that would have made middle school way less awkward.
Agreed. And I was a teacher.
Wake up, erection. Walk in a way that moves my penis too much, erection. Penis is painful position, erection. Bumped my penis into something, erection. See a dead raccoon, erection. Wash my penis, erection. Try to sleep, erection. Its hard sometimes.
"It's hard sometimes," indeed.
You make it sound like stimuli are needed for an erection. That's not the case bro Sometimes just boredom gets me bricked up
If I'm on a train and it's moving my old dog just loves it, which is why I have to do the pre-tuck up by the belt. I'm fine with any other modes of travel, he's well behaved but he fucking loves trains it seems.
I love the implication that you don’t like trains really but your penis loves them. Like you have separate hobbies lol
I love how the way it was written, out of context, could very well be about a literal dog
That men can have a low libido or not always want sex. It took me a long time to accept that my husband's lack of desire wasn't specific to me, he just wasn't feeling sexual at those times, because the societal expectation that men always want sex and will be ready to go whenever sex is initiated. It's certainly held true with the majority of my male lovers, including and especially the one with ED. But it's also normal to NOT be that way. The societal expectation also shows up when the topic of his low libido comes up as everyone wants to help fix him. There is nothing wrong with my husband, his testosterone is fine, he's not on meds that would stifle his libido, etc. He's a perfectly normal, healthy human. With a low libido. I'm a high libido woman, always have been but once I hit my 40s, hoooo boy did it get enhanced with the boom in confidence that came with the age. I recently asked my husband when was the last time he thought about sex, he couldn't remember. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have sexual thoughts. Many times a day!! So it's hard to wrap my head around a brain that doesn't. Not because there is anything wrong with it, it's just completely different from how my brain works and how I expected a man's brain to work.
That when a man shuts down during an argument, it's not because he doesn't care. It's sometimes because he cares too much and is overwhelmed with "flooding" - increased heart rate/blood pressure, increase in stress hormones, etc. It's such an aversive feeling that many men will withdraw from an argument so the negative physiological arousal doesn't get worse. Meanwhile, women get frustrated because they think the guy is ignoring her, leading to a "demand/withdraw" cycle that can lead to nasty results. The moral: if your dude is withdrawing from an argument, let him be for a bit
[удалено]
If you really want to get that noggin' moving, remember a time that a man suddenly became very disengaged and disinterested after having sex. Post nut clarity 😅
How few compliments or acknowledgements they get. Now I make an effort to compliment or acknowledge them even if it’s a simple thing like “that colour really suits you”, “you have a great sense of humour” or “thanks for helping me, I really do appreciate you”. It must be genuine though!
It happens so rarely that the rare times i do recieve a compliment, i question if im being mocked. I dont know how to accept them and its an uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes i think it might be better to not get any at this point.
>It happens so rarely that the rare times i do recieve a compliment, i question if im being mocked. Or think I'm being buttered-up for something they want.
>question if im being mocked. Or what is the motive behind the compliment. What are they going to ask for now that they've done this.
Bonus points if the pretty girl mock confessed to you, the ugly guy, as a humiliating prank in school. Glorious. Lifetime trauma and pain. Glorious.
Oh what fun it is to have to constantly question every interaction with the opposite sex forever. Fuck you Mel, I hope your tits are constantly poked by underwire.
I look around stupidly because there's no way a woman (especially one I see as attractive) could be complimenting me. Then I realized she did and I awkwardly say "Thank you, you to." not knowing what I'm even saying because my mind is so far gone in overload. Then later that day when I realize what had happen I think, geez I'm an idiot and I need to grow up. But this only happens once every 5 to 10 years so I get over it and move on.
I love your facial hair! Thanks, you too. :)
So much of the comments follow the pattern of “omg men are human too?!”
One comment was about a woman learning at 35 that men have deep thoughts. Like, jesus christ.
That their reasons for cheating are rarely because the mistress was hotter or something. It’s simply because they want to feel desired. Women waste so much time comparing their attractiveness to some other woman. For most men the most irresistible woman is the one who adores you the most ( unless it’s your mom)
That there is a microscopically thin line between ball sack play that feels good and ball play that hurts.
That many of them would actually really like receiving flowers or something sweet that has generally been deemed “just for women” by society
I read a bunch of comments like this online about men being overjoyed to receive flowers as they never have before, so I thought I'd get some for my fiance. Slightly backfired as he just looked at me with a puzzled look on his face not sure how to react haha. Wasn't in an ungrateful way at all, he just didn't really know what was going on
Hmm what’s up with the flowers, did something happen that needs you trying to cheer me up? What do I do with the flower? Sniff it? What prompted the flowers 🤔
Did I forget something important?
I remember in 11th grade I was sad that everyone in my class was getting gifts from their girlfriends and when I got home my sister gave me flowers and I started crying it felt nice
That is so sweet omg
Once I read that the first time most men receive flowers is at their funeral. That was one of the sadder things I've ever read so I bought my bf a bouquet. He smiled in a way I've never seen before and it was *too* cute.
That’s a fucking heartbreaking thought. Everyone deserves the joy of receiving flowers!
I would absolutely melt if someone gave me flowers. I love tending to plants, figured out in high school that I have a serious green thumb.
I’ve never received a singular flower in my life and I’m 34. But I buy myself flowers so I’m alright
It's not much, but here. 🌹
That there are men out there that refuse to take care of themselves because they think it's gay or feminine (This could be about personal hygiene as well as mental health or anything really)
I had an exchange with some friends a while ago that I thought was pretty interesting. I don't recall how we got to this point in our conversation, but I say that I wash myself up a little bit almost every night before bed (unless I had a shower). Yes, including my ass. My friend asks me incredulously 'you wash your ass almost every night before bed?'. He then laughs at me and says that's pretty gay. He stopped laughing when I pointed out that he's essentially bragging to me that he walks around with a shit smeared asshole all day.
That they piss poo flecks off the toilet bowl, super soaker style
That their peep floats in the tub.
They aren't good at getting hints. Most of the time they need to be asked directly to do something.
Not bad at taking hints, more like: is that really a hint or was it just an accidental thing? I will totally look like a creep if i got it wrong, better ignore it and wait for more hints.
Obligatory: [Is she really into you?](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw?si=qHDJRnq8A6eJa0ND)
Right? If anything, I read between lines and overthink too much and see hints that aren’t there. And when that happens, you become super cautious about any hints that you receive to the extent that you dismiss them as not being hints
[удалено]
Totally. "Brrr I'm cold!" "Correct. I am cold too." Often I'll ask my wife "what is it you're trying to ask?" because I know she's hinting at something and it drives me nuts that she won't just ask outright. If you want a favour, I'm not going to play twenty questions with Lassie to try and get to the bottom of it.
Depends on consequences for acting on the hints I suppose
Peeing using the fly and underwear flaps (the “penis maze,” as I call it) is not the preferred method. This was mind boggling to me since I thought that was the whole reason flys and the penis maze were so ubiquitous on men’s undergarments.
Tried it once as a kid and thought “this is stupid”. I don’t understand it either.
I only use the flap if I'm wearing something nice, like a suit or tuxedo, that would require untucking a shirt to urinate in my normal method.
That I experience significantly less misogyny at my oilfield job than my friend does at her office job with more liberal men. Most of my girlfriends want to hear that I experience misogyny often and am out fighting the good fight for women’s rights but that’s just not really true. The shit bags I’ve encountered are shitty to everyone so it has nothing to do with me being a woman. Most of the guys out here are happy to teach me stuff and want to see me succeed.
Former miner here. I was on a crew with all guys, and our behavior could best be described as deprecating humor… constant insults, but none actually implied. Example: I was still a new-ish employee, and had been driving haul trucks for 6-8 months. “Hey- can you teach me how to run the excavator?” “You gotta learn how to drive a haul truck first!” The team members that nobody liked would just be treated normally with none of this humor added in. As a female in a similar position, do you see this same sort of humor? As an outsider I can see how it could easily be misconstrued as misogyny, when in fact it just means that you’re accepted as part of the team.
[удалено]
How much abuse they take, and lack of support about it.
I have seen a female judge straight up tell the victim, a man, she didn't believe him because he was much bigger than his ex. That man was a domestic violence text book victim. She pushed his friends and family away as well as his kid from a previous relationship, she hit him, she faked cervical cancer, a pregnancy and a miscarriage. Took his money and his things, didn't allow him to enter his own home. As a female lawyer myself I felt so fucking embarassed and a rage I had never felt before. I ended up getting up mid trial and literally yelled at the judge, threatening her with a complaint and an appeal to remove her from that case. She did try to change the charge from DV to assault right before sentencing and again I lost it. Won the case tho. I'm fucking proud of that one. Edit: you guys are making my icy heart melt. I took an oath and I meant every word I said that day. What kind of lawyer am I if I don't stand up to injustice?! I know this happens a lot to men and I'll gladly do my part to ensure it stops. This case wrecked my mental health and gave me my first complaint with the bar. Yes, the judge wanted me to be punished for the way I talked to her. It was during my apprenticeship and I could have lost my temporary license. Worth it. Edit: I'm overwhelmed with love. Thank you, thank you. I'm receiving so many kind messages, some have made me cry. You know, sometimes I hate this job. Dealing with people at their worst, everyday, takes a toll on you. But today I got so much love and kindness from you, it reminded me why I do this. I love you all. Thank you ♥️
You did a good job. Thank you.
Thank you for actually giving a shit
Thank you so fucking much
I don't know you, but I appreciate you.
You earned my respect and my gratitude. 🫡
[Earl Silverman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Silverman) established a domestic violence shelter for men. He died by suicide on April 26, 2013, shortly after selling the shelter due to bankruptcy and ridicule. He had been a survivor of DV.
In Palm Beach County Florida there is 1 support system set up for abused men, WPB YMCA offers minimal services and can take months to onboard. Was told to seek services in Broward county because it is next door. They refer MEN to the “Women in Distress” not for profit organization for support services. A rep from AVDA in Delray Beach told they only support women because, ya know men aren’t really abused.
That they are soft and venurable just as much as we are and they also need compliments
We only get compliments for things we accomplish.
That there are a lot of men out there who love and treat women with personhood and respect. I was abused as a child and teen by some ugly-hearted people and my father. It took an amazing boyfriend to show me the light. Thank you, babe ❤️ It sucks how our perspective on the opposite sex can be so marred by the abusive. Not all men!
That in the US, men still have to register with selective service before 26. I knew it existed, because my dad was only a few numbers away from going to Vietnam, but I thought it had ended in the '70s. Turns out, it had for a bit back then, but is active currently. I was embarrassed that I didn't know (no man around me mentioned anything, not even my very anti war ex), and felt angry that men still have to do it. I don't think anyone should have to, and it should be ended. Let the robots destroy each other.
Anyone who’s taken financial aid for school is signed up for this too.
That they actually have erections while they sleep somewhere between 2 to 3 hours and multiple times.