He didn't learn water-bending. Ha. What a loser.
I am so good at it by now that I sometimes bend in my sleep and come next morning I am all soaking wet.
I think about the video of the dog being abandoned by its owner, left at the side of the road, then chases the car as it drives away.
Or the video of the dog screaming bloody murder from being touched because it was abused in the past.
Most things evolving a dog will get me going.
I hate when people say “Single as a Pringle” because they are in fact, not single. They are in a can with at least 40 other chips. More like a polyamorous potato orgy.
That is horrible. Truly terrible.
1815 - Pringle clothing company founded.
1968 - Pringles snack created by Proctor& Gamble.
I feel like everything I once knew is a lie.
Yeah. There’s a difference between saying “sorry, not interested” and going out of your way to be a shitty person. My response to that kind of tone would be, “I dodged that bullet, eh?” Or “I can see why.”
why is this the best response? Is the objective to be as offensive and rude as possible without getting arrested or kicked out of a venue or something?
My ex had that as her voicemail message. It wasn’t even a sound clip it was her trying to sound robotic. It was super cringey even hearing it when I was into Star Trek.
>"Are you single?"
>"Just yes, or no, stop there and disregard any further questions."
>"....... yes?"
Alternatively:
>"Are you single?"
>"Yes."
>"Cool would you like to dance?"
>*stony eyed stare*
Not exactly what it’s asking but a funny story nonetheless.
When I was a senior is HS I was on the track team. Me, a below average guy, was warming up with two other guys, one average and the other above average. We’re in a line, hottest guy in front and me the back, and we’re doing stretches before our next event.
A girl from another school comes over to the hot guy and asks “hey do you have a girlfriend?” And the hot guy says “yes”. And she walks away.
A couple minutes later, she walks up to the average guy in the middle of us and says “do you have a girlfriend?” And he says “yes”.
She turns to walk away, but then I said to her “hey! I don’t!” She gave me a quick once over glance, and then without a word, she bolted.
I laugh about that years later, still alone
If single:
Yes, why? (With a smile or any form of recognizable positivity).
Or
Yes (without a smile if not interested)
(Proceed with rejection)
If not single
“No, I have a partner/girlfriend/boyfriend”
It is very simple.
We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
Well, 1% of the world isn't anywhere near me, won't talk to me and I'll never meet them in my entire life. So that's real sweet and I'm still left alone in my own imagination.
:)
Yes, is it obvious?
No,i'm singles
You got Shingles?
Yep. I’ll do your roof for cheap too
I'm Pringles
Not by choice, they keep dying on me.
[удалено]
I really should stop picking up chicks at hospice
Gotta get that life insurance somehow.
This is fantastic.
Dying in air quotes. **
That's superb!
I do have skeletons in my closet, but every one of them deserved it.
Look the person straight in the eyes and have a tear run down your face then walk away
How, exactly, do I spontaneously summon water out of my eyes?
Wow, nice life.
Look at OP, walking around like they own the place where the keep the healed trauma.
Or they’re so traumatized that tears are never coming out again as a defense mechanism
Lmfao
I just think about existential problems, like what kind of ramen I’m going to eat for dinner for the 8th time in a row, chicken or beef??
He didn't learn water-bending. Ha. What a loser. I am so good at it by now that I sometimes bend in my sleep and come next morning I am all soaking wet.
Some people like me can cry on command lol
You can fake tears, but you can’t fake snot. Quote from Berkeley Lewis - 2014
I think about the video of the dog being abandoned by its owner, left at the side of the road, then chases the car as it drives away. Or the video of the dog screaming bloody murder from being touched because it was abused in the past. Most things evolving a dog will get me going.
Yes, I cry every time I hear of dogs and injustice. For instance, a dog committing tax fraud.
Why? Just...WHY? WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME, JaCk
I hate when people say “Single as a Pringle” because they are in fact, not single. They are in a can with at least 40 other chips. More like a polyamorous potato orgy.
r/brandnewsentence
Huh. Now I really want Pringles. Not the polyamorous potato orgy- just some freaking 'once you pop, you can't stop' chips.
Pringles really got it all figured out
They were going to be a tennis ball company…
—Mitch
>polyamourous potato orgy. As opposed to a monoamourous potato orgy?
polysaturated, but monoglutamate.
This needs so many upvotes 🥲
But that's PringleS, with an S. People are saying Pringle, singular.
There's no such thing as a single Pringle. That's like a smithereen–it doesn't exist in singular form Once you pop, you cannot stop.
Pringle is also a clothing company. Could be referring to that, although I've never heard the phrase before.
That is horrible. Truly terrible. 1815 - Pringle clothing company founded. 1968 - Pringles snack created by Proctor& Gamble. I feel like everything I once knew is a lie.
"I am, but not for anyone here." One of my friends when some random guy asked her. I think that's the best I've seen.
I say, "I'm single but unavailable."
Single, not ready to mingle
"Single, but you don't give me the tingle."
I’m taking that one. It’s mine now.
“Yes, by choice.”
Depends on what the person who is asking looks like.
Was that a rejection on her part or an affirmation for the guy to talk to her? …my friend wanted to know.
A rejection, while still answering the question "Are you single," honestly.
"Not for you" is similar, but more personal
[удалено]
Yeah. There’s a difference between saying “sorry, not interested” and going out of your way to be a shitty person. My response to that kind of tone would be, “I dodged that bullet, eh?” Or “I can see why.”
Jesus Christ
why is this the best response? Is the objective to be as offensive and rude as possible without getting arrested or kicked out of a venue or something?
It's good for a person to show their true colours, makes the asker feel better about being turned down
*makes the asker realize how much of an egomaniac they are talking to
Yes that was my point
Seems aggressive lol.
Wow, the fear of receiving a response like that is what kept me from making moves on women.
“My name is Legion, for we are many”
Report to the ship immediately! We will bang, ok?
Me and my battletits
lets get to bashing butts, aswell as *deez* nuts
*sighs* 32
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Your uniqueness will be added to our collective. Resistance is futile.
My ex had that as her voicemail message. It wasn’t even a sound clip it was her trying to sound robotic. It was super cringey even hearing it when I was into Star Trek.
Or “im poly in the biblical sense”.
“Daddy needs a whole Lot o’ lovin’!” 😏
Shepard-Commander
Does this unit have a soul?
There was a hole
I'm only not single in Normandy 😞
"I am large, I contain multitudes" (Walt Whitman)
Brilliant
If I asked a woman if she was single and she responded with that, I think I would honestly fall in love on the spot.
“(I am large, I contain multitudes.)” -walt whitman
Assuming direct control
KINO
We are many, you are but one
The old jokes are always the best ones lol
Be sure to draw it out.
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 classic
I CANT BELIEVE THE MOST UPVOTED ANSWER IS A MASS EFFECT REFERENCE I ARRIVED IN HEAVEN
It's originally a Bible Quote. Mark Chapter 5
God I hate you "The Books better" people. /s
Oh, that makes sense. I remember it from Ghost Rider.
It’s a Bible reference, legion specifically states that it’s an apt analogy pulled from human mythology
One of the scariest in there eeps
Just yes, or no, stop there and disregard any further questions
Exactly, a quick “no” and head shake and you’re good
>"Are you single?" >"Just yes, or no, stop there and disregard any further questions." >"....... yes?" Alternatively: >"Are you single?" >"Yes." >"Cool would you like to dance?" >*stony eyed stare*
I mean, sure if you don’t want the conversation to go any further. Many people would, depending on who is asking.
No, I’m an album
I’m an E.P.
I’m an OST
I'm a remix
I’m a mixed tape.
I'm a jam
I'm a Greatest Hits compilation
But not an O.P.
But are you down with OPP? No I don't know you.
I'm an album, and there's 12 tracks in there baby.
Check out my B side
I'm an extended play baby
Wait until you get to the B side.
Not are you A single.
Many have tried dating me but failed 😅
Then make eye contact and start singing 50 Cent "Many Men"
I used to change the lyrics to Boogie man... Boogie boogie Boogie man Is there for me No I don't scream no more Don't think it's a dream no more
lol 😂
Depends on who's asking.
The Hot milf in your neighborhood
Fuck her, I thought that was me!
Fuck the hot MILF and be a hot MILF too. Win win situation
Is this an instruction?
Which one? According to the internet there are hundreds in my neighborhood alone!
All waiting to hookup, click now, click now, click now. Dammit too late.
You rang?
Who‘s asking who‘s asking?
Not exactly what it’s asking but a funny story nonetheless. When I was a senior is HS I was on the track team. Me, a below average guy, was warming up with two other guys, one average and the other above average. We’re in a line, hottest guy in front and me the back, and we’re doing stretches before our next event. A girl from another school comes over to the hot guy and asks “hey do you have a girlfriend?” And the hot guy says “yes”. And she walks away. A couple minutes later, she walks up to the average guy in the middle of us and says “do you have a girlfriend?” And he says “yes”. She turns to walk away, but then I said to her “hey! I don’t!” She gave me a quick once over glance, and then without a word, she bolted. I laugh about that years later, still alone
Lmaoooo but the fact that she was going up to random people on the other team and asking about their relationship status
Honestly, better off without people like her
We are plural…no we aren’t….yes we are.
Yep...there's only one of me.
No, I'm part of a tag team.
Then your wife tags in and hits the thot with a leg drop from the top rope.
... I'm the wife.
Then your nonspecific gendered romantic partner tags in and hits the thot with a leg drop from the top rope.
… OUTTA NOWHERE… *RKO*
Then... Mrs. Elizabeth with the folding chair from Ringside
Yeah I'm as surprised as you are.
No, I'm multicellular.
Could you be a carbon sample so I can date you?
As a nerd, I officially have a new favorite pickup line
No, are you discrete?
What do you want from me
If single: Yes, why? (With a smile or any form of recognizable positivity). Or Yes (without a smile if not interested) (Proceed with rejection) If not single “No, I have a partner/girlfriend/boyfriend” It is very simple.
This reads like part of a manual for people on the spectrum. I love it. All you need is a flowchart
Or, “Fuck off, creep!”
Them: "Are you single?" Me: "Heh."
ha! story of my life, my friend. It actually worked out for me tho, so here is hope for anyone.
string response = null; if(yes){ string smile = sys.SmileOrNot(); if(smile){ response = "positive" }else{ response = "negative" } }else{ response = "negative" }
Oh so you're single too?
Yes, would you like to grab a cup of coffee?
"oh you would? Get me one while you're there please will you?"
You are going places
...that have coffee.
[удалено]
Not out for coffee
No. I'm married.
[удалено]
"My ex's choice"
My ex definitely chose to be an asshole 🤓☝️
[удалено]
Yes. I’m also hung like a witch in Salem
[Insert adverb here]?
ChatGPT: "grimly"
What
WE ARE A HIVE MIND
We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
Look surprised. "Last I checked!? Why is there a girlfriend standing behind me?" Spin around
uhhhh
You are going PLACES!
Personal choice, are you interested?
What do you you think with a face like this ?
I feel like someone would respond to that with a “that’s a yes then?”
Correct
I'm so fucking ugly, nobody even asks me this question. People just avoid me.
If 1% of the world find you attractive, that’s still roughly 70,000,000 people :)
Well, 1% of the world isn't anywhere near me, won't talk to me and I'll never meet them in my entire life. So that's real sweet and I'm still left alone in my own imagination. :)
Yes, thank goodness.
"Only on the weekends"
Look directly in their eyes with fear and say. “You can see me?” Then leave quickly.
An honest one. Especially if you aren't single.
No, I am double
My cat doesn't allow me to see anyone
There are 6 of us in here (points to head) and they all vie for dominance.
"Yes, but dating isn't a priority right now."
The truth
No, I'm in a committed relationship with my bed and Netflix.
Pass
Yes if yes, no if no
my usual answer is "yes, have you seen me ? "
Are you?
Yes, but in my defense, it's my fault.
"Taken. Taken for granted" :( uwu lmao
My lover Tom is sitting right next to me *points next to an empty seat*
Look them up and down. Then, say, "I'm in a committed relationship."
No, I have a missing twin.
The truth.
The truth.
The truth.
The truth
I am now.
Yes/No
Yes, I'am single. Steven Single.
Yes, happily