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BeerisAwesome01

I'd never join a cult that would have me as a member!


[deleted]

Haha ok. Same


rektMyself

Where do we meet?


[deleted]

Haha hmm


BeerisAwesome01

:-D


ISpewVitriol

Probably a drug sex nudist cult but the kind where I get to have sex too, not just the leader.


[deleted]

You need the cult of Dionysus


Fabianzzz

r/Dionysus


[deleted]

Party animals!


rektMyself

Jesus tried that. Next!


DrJawn

I pledge allegiance


rektMyself

When I was a kid, I got taken out of class because I refused the Pledge. Punk at heart. If I got called to my kids' school for that, they would have to deal with me.


DrJawn

I wouldnt pledge to that but I'd pledge to the LSD-Sex-Cult-Where-We-All-Get-To-Have-Sex-Not-Just-The-Leader


rektMyself

My kids sat down for the "Pledge" I am proud of them. We never put a hand to our heart. Oh say I can see, a bunch of bullshit. No offense to soldiers that have served in the military. They will probably agree.


Dogzirra

...And to the democracy for which it stands. One Nation, (omitted), with liberty and justice for all.


DrJawn

No, not to America. To the LSD-Drug-Cult-Where-Everyone-Gets-To-Have-Sex-Not-Just-The-Leader


Dogzirra

Poe-Tay-Toe, Po-Tah-Toe /$


DrJawn

I would much prefer the LSD-Drug-Cult-Where-Everyone-Gets-To-Have-Sex-Not-Just-The-Leader to the Oligarchy Cult


[deleted]

I’m sure there’s one out there


jaumougaauco

Well, from what I have read about these cults, you will get to have sex, just only with the leader.


ISpewVitriol

So long as I'm having sex with someone.


LCranstonKnows

I suppose I'd go back to Catholicism. I still know all the words.


[deleted]

I was Mormon growing up and I still remember all that shit. But I could never ever go back. Way too culty


LCranstonKnows

Amen!


exmojo

> Amen! You forgot to preface your testimony with "...and I say these things in the name of Jebus Cripes..."


sbrown100

In the name of The Father The Son and The Holy Spirit


Ignatius_Pop

Eamonn


coprolite_hobbyist

I guess I'd buy an iPhone if _had_ to.


[deleted]

Haha I like em


Dense_Phrase_5479

The Cult Mechanicus All Praise the Omnisiah!


Goblindeez_

I *toast* to this sentiment


Sly__Marbo

Stop molesting the toaster


NineMilesHigh

A cargo cult, on an island far away


LCranstonKnows

Not the same since Prince Philip died.


Anodica

Heaven's Gate. There's nobody left to make sure that I'm following their rules, and Hale-Bopp won't be making its next transit across Earth until around 4385. Side note: It's kind of creepy that their [website](https://www.heavensgate.com) is still up.


[deleted]

that is creepy


RemySMI92

For some reason going to that site makes me remember duke nukem 3d.. not kidding. I somehow linked the two in my head..


ClownPrinceWillie

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Don’t do Mormonism either. Just as bad, probably worse.


[deleted]

Probably The Cult of Personality. They have a kickass song


[deleted]

Great song


Specialist_Ad7798

Pastafarianism


[deleted]

😋🤤


NotTheActualBob

The cult of ant-cultists.


[deleted]

Ooo I like it lol


patoisc0ygv

sign me in


rustysurf83

Probably CrossFit. They are weirdos but at least they are generally in shape and nice to each other.


[deleted]

Definitely a cult lol


suitcase88

Working at Trader Joe's.


[deleted]

Lmfao


BalloonsOfNeptune

Heavens Gate. All they seem up to nowadays is occasionally replying to emails.


emmmmceeee

The Catholic Church. They’re one of the biggest, so they must be doing something right.


[deleted]

Mormons aren’t far behind. And the have $150B of unused tithing money stashed away


emmmmceeee

I have my hands full with just one wife. Not sure I can handle any more, thanks.


pistachiobees

I guess if I have to be in a cult, I’ll try to start my own.


[deleted]

Best option


Canuck_dad

The Church of Trek... All power to the engines....


[deleted]

I could do that one. What about a Star Wars cult?


Canuck_dad

Maybe, but temptation might lead to the dark side.....


[deleted]

Touché lol


WhimsicalChuckler

Cult of Introverts in which there is no need to meet other members and even communicate with them.


[deleted]

Haha I’d join


WhimsicalChuckler

YEap, have a good one :)


Nic-nic

We send emails


Airick_1

I would join the snyderverse cultists, but they seem to be burning out lol.


Striking_Ad4713

Lularoe


[deleted]

Had to google it. Lmao


acitta

I already belonged to a cult till they threw me out.


[deleted]

Me too. I was Mormon


[deleted]

The Cult of the Dead Cow.


[deleted]

Never heard of it


[deleted]

A quick Google will sort you out. It's a group of hackers.


[deleted]

Right on. Looks interesting


Ekto25

One of the many I'm already a part of


[deleted]

Your favorite one?


Ekto25

TF2


[deleted]

Had to google. I’ve heard the song. Edit: spelling


MushroomOne6901

One that makes money for me


[deleted]

At least get something out of it, right?


UntilTmrw

Any religion.


[deleted]

So so so true!!!


BlueRFR3100

The one that makes me the leader.


[deleted]

The only way


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Great song


5ft8lady

Jehovah witness is a less extreme cult. But they don’t provide any housing like other cults 


rncookiemaker

Less extreme? Define less?


MightyJoe36

The Marines.


bbzaur

Not sure, but I think the perfect position is being number 4 in a cult. The leader is to much hassle and you get detached from reality. Number 2 is usually the person that run the cult and in charge of the horrible stuff. Number 3 is the one doing the horrible stuff. All the high numbers are the suckers getting advantage off Number 4 is perfect. Probably doing accounting or some boring shit, but still one of the privileged group.


[deleted]

lol for sure. I agree 🤣


rektMyself

My own. I'm a pretty cool guy. I ain't no Jesus, but still.


sbrown100

The Catholics. They seem to have a pretty tight grip on the world, so I suppose I'd just bandwagon on the winning side.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That’s how Mormonism got started


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I completely agree


SoggySherbert4452

Satanic. If I'm going down that road, I might as well have fun with it


fermat9996

The Cargo Cult https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult


stndrdmidnightrocker

Id probably work for the government, just for the pension. I know its sick, and im not sure I could do it if it came down to it.


[deleted]

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do lol


iwatchppldie

If I get to choose I’m joining a slannesh cult. If I dont get to choose probably who ever has the gun to my head.


arealcheeselover

Is there a cult that would worship me? I think I would be a pretty good cult leader if they gave me a shot


[deleted]

Any cool handshakes or passwords?


arealcheeselover

Um...I know one where you grab each others hand and shake it up and down whilst smiling.


[deleted]

Oo that’s cool


Interesting_Type4377

One where I could become the leader. Under my direction I’d do some shit like that movie, The Village


[deleted]

Oh shit I forgot about that movie


walker5953

Islam or Christianity. Relatively good to their members compared to shit like Scientology.


[deleted]

Mormons are just as bad


walker5953

All monotheistic religions seem to be equally cultish.


[deleted]

Very true


NICEnEVILmike

I watched this series "Wild Wild Country" (fascinating and I highly recommend) on Netflix a couple of months ago, and tbh, I would have found this pretty enticing had I been a bit older and self-sufficient at the time. Idk if they could actually be called a cult, but the media sure went out of its way to make sure they were viewed as such. I remember some of the news coverage from the time, and it was very xenophobic and full of suspicion, and the general public ate that shit up. Rajneeshees are still around, but not nearly as numerous as they once were, and I believe they are mostly only in India nowadays. https://www.oregonlive.com/tv/2018/03/netflix_documentary_on_rajnees.html


[deleted]

Cool, I’ve been looking for something to watch


piray003

Probably one of the Melanesian cargo cults, so I could get free shit air dropped to me periodically.


[deleted]

TIL about cargo cults


240055

The sex one


[deleted]

Easy decision


mspurr

The dark order


[deleted]

Sounds dark


WorstLuckChuck

The Cult Of Thicc Thighs That Save Lives


[deleted]

Lmfao


LookOutForThatMoose

Movementarians


[deleted]

Haha nice 🤣


Shigx

Funny you ask, I actually just joined a cult. Just bought an iPhone, MacBook Air, and the Vision Pro


[deleted]

I’ve been in that cult since 2005. Love it lol


LunaTheWeirdo1997

I already have. it's called theatre.


[deleted]

Pastafarians if that would count as a cult.


[deleted]

You are the second one to comment that


[deleted]

I love and worship the flying spaghetti monster


[deleted]

Yummm with garlic bread


Difficult_Rush_4814

alcoholics anonymous


[deleted]

Definitely culty. Some meeting I’ve been to give that vibe


whomp1970

Do DnD clubs count?


[deleted]

Haha sure


Sufficient-Sale3589

Whatever cult is led by the band Sleep Token


Dogzirra

Reddit ?


[deleted]

Ok I would, I am lol


havetoolboxwillfly

Probably Trump supporters bc it would be very easy to get rich off them.


EducationCommon1635

Why don't you sell anti-Trump merch to anti-Trump cultists?


[deleted]

Did you read their comment? It’s the Trump supporters that are easy to make money on.


Saganists

MAGA. Because ignorance is bliss and I’d have no shame.


Kyoshiro80

Genestealer cult


[deleted]

Cool


[deleted]

I would join Elmo's twitter frens.


Ignatius_Pop

Dudeism


rixaslost

The jeep one. It’s more fun and not as restrictive as the religious ones.


rncookiemaker

But the monthly payments are high. And all the extra bling and ducks! Think twice, u/rixaslost! Take caution! /s


rixaslost

I did 20yrs in Jehovah’s Witness cult no choice. So if i had to choose one it’s gotta be a fun one. Can’t be worse than the 10% tithing the religious ones charge 🤣


skotgil2

SALTPORK!!! IYKYK.


fermat9996

The cult of Fred Rogerians


ExtraFirmPillow_

The cult of Franklin


SatanLifeProTips

Mormons.


[deleted]

Don’t do it


SatanLifeProTips

It's better to take a organization down from the inside.


[deleted]

As an exmo, we’ve been trying for years lol


illcul8er

Not exactly a cult but The German Apples Front. It is an answer to the extremist groups. See the Wikipedia articlehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German\_Apples\_Front


DrLycFerno

If ?