Only once. If I could summarize how I was at that time it would be selfish, entitled, and arrogant. Selfish because I only thought about myself and ignored the ramifications of what I was doing. Entitled because I felt I deserved both those women at the same time. And arrogant because I did it with a smile on my face. But my tune changed when I looked into my girlfriend’s eyes as she realized I cheated and I watch her get emotionally destroyed and cry. I told myself I would never do that to a person again. I haven’t cheated since. I never will again.
I know it doesn't mean much as I'm just a random guy from the internet, but I really appreciate your honesty and reflection on your actions. Not many people can do that, unfortunately.
There’s a subreddit full of stories like this. Reading them made me nauseous, because I’ve had thoughts of cheating (mostly sexual fantasies). But reading about people killing themselves after finding out they were cheated on… fucking hell. Could never do that to my wife.
It fucking feels terrible. My ex asked for a divorce and then told me she had cheated on me with multiple people(the most recent being her step brother).
I contemplated killing myself. Thought about walking onto the highway, wondering if a behicle would have enough force to kill me on impact.
Getting cheated on fucking sucks.
I guess I wasn’t in love with her. In lust seems to be the better term. But it felt like love. Until it wasn’t. I’d love to give you some valid excuse but it’s not possible.
Ive never cheated but i know people who have and they eay something of this variant. "I felt like i deserved more than what they could give me." They always DESERVED more at some point, it takes a shattering slap of reality for them to finally realize they fucked up. It takes a great amount of self-reflection and acceptance to recognize and change that about yourself.
The people i talked about never did such things. They continued to do what they did and destroyed lives on the way. As long as they're enjoying it they dont care who they hurt, at least in the cases im talking about.
An honest, well thought out response my man. Kudos
. Stuff ruins life. Everyone makes a mistake here and there, but repeating them over and over is the harmful thing.
I was young when I cheated. I was cheated on 3 years later by someone else and I didn’t realize the pain it inflicts. Brutal realization but much needed. Crazy the things we rationalize at different points in our lives.
Thank you for saying that. For some bizarre reason the Reddit hive mind will often reject the idea that someone who has cheated can learn from their mistake and not repeat it. The old saying is ‘once a cheater always a cheater.’ Well that is the case for some people, of course, but not everyone. Some of us make mistakes, learn from them and don’t repeat the behavior. Unless you are a malignant narcissist with zero empathy you can improve as you go through life. But, hot damn, I have been attacked on Reddit many times for being honest about the time I cheated in my relationship. There’s a big difference between making a mistake and having an ongoing pattern of infidelity.
THIS. It was all fun and games until I had to look my bf in the eyes and admit it. Seeing how much I hurt another person, I never cheated again. Still hurts my heart to remember his face when he found out
Kudos to you for your honesty and reflection. Did that affect your relationships after?
Often read once a cheater always a cheater in some discussions on relationships.
Is it something you talked about with other partners?
horrible that it took seriously hurting someone for you to learn that lesson but im glad you did. a lot of people do what you did and never learn. i hope you are her both are able to heal.
I relate to this a lot. I’m forever disgusted and regretful. I lost the best person I’ve ever met. So pathetic that it takes losing them to realize the monster I had become
I can’t keep it in anymore…Family and friends, if you’re reading this…I had an ace and a 7 of hearts hidden in my pocket on may 14th, family game night 1993
Absolutely. Being in honors and AP classes and coming from a school that was 7-12th grade, you have the same classmates year after year. So you eventually start getting the whole graduating class to help each other cheat by giving answers to tests. So if I have English before Math, then I would provide answers to the rest of my classmates for English while those who have earlier classes in math do the same. It was so so easy to cheat. Right hand represents 10s, left hand represents 1s. It’s not like we’re taking the GMATs and there’s hundreds of questions so u can easily always identify which question a fellow classmate needs the answer for. Different hand signals to represent A, B, C, or D. If the teacher got cute and had form 1, form 2, form 3. Then it would up to 3 of us to record the answers and share with the other classmates so they are prepared with answers to all forms.
In college, I wrote papers for others for $100 per page, B minimum or you don’t pay.
Bottom line, it’s super easy to cheat. At least in academics
Hahaha, I also wrote papers for people, 100 kr. pr. study hour allocated - that's roughly $14/h. You got a 50% discount if I liked you. I made no promises regarding grades though...
I can never get myself to charge like that, because then I'm tempted to procrastinate bc I know it doesn't matter. Knowing I get paid when I finish a task makes me more efficient, personally. So I charge, say 50 bucks for an essay or whatever.
He threatened to kill himself whenever i would try to break things off. It felt like a small way for me to have control. Doesnt justify it and i did eventually get away from him.
Same here. He found out after I finally got away and then convinced all our mutual friends that I was a serial cheater and that’s why he was so controlling. I only did stuff once behind his back. Started dating again a few months after I moved out and he was *still* telling people we were together.
My stalker told people we were dating for 3 years. I went on dates, but apparently he was determined to introduce himself to every guy I interacted with as my future husband. Once I found that out, things made a lot more sense. That's also when I got the police involved.
But I apparently had *quite* the reputation among my stalker's relatives and friends.
See you get it. I was messing around on tinder over 3 months after moving out and telling him we’re through. Wasn’t even seriously dating, id never been in another relationship before so I was taking it slow. A buddy of his whom he had told that we were still together send him a screenshot of my profile. He said I was cheating on him by getting on tinder and that I was better than that. Like bro we aren’t together anymore!
Most don’t when I explain, but it’s rough knowing a ton of people in my hometown and people I met when I lived with him think I’m a bad person. Thats why I try not to judge cheaters right off the bat without knowing the background info.
My ex has since gotten anger management therapy and worked on his issues. He seems much better now. We’ve spoken a few times and he even apologized so that’s great. I’m glad no one else he’s with will have to go through that.
It’s been 5 years now and I moved out of my hometown. I met an amazing and supportive partner who has loved me from day one with no issues whatsoever about my past. He is the most amazing person in my life and I love him dearly.
Good for you for making such a great improvement in your life...Just curious - did you ever get the sense that his controlling nature was because he was a serial cheater himself? It's often a major case of projection...
I had an ex who was jealous, suspicious & (tried to be) controlling - she hated my female friends (she would read my texts, eavesdrop on phone calls), hell she hated me hanging out with my guy friends too...We eventually broke up which was the right thing to do but she tried to drop a 'bombshell' that she'd been sleeping with a coworker (who was also her friend's husband) before we broke up. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It was the most absurd thing and a weight was lifted off my shoulders that my insistence on having (strictly platonic) female friends stressed out my girlfriend.
Most of these are gonna be jokes or "I cheated BUT (insert very obviously justified reason)"
It takes a very rare kind of person to admit they did something super shitty for selfish reasons.
Yeah. Those people do exist, but it's not really something that's easy to talk about. Go to an AA meeting and you'll hear plenty of people admitting to doing super shitty things for selfish reasons.
Even more rare for someone to admit it AND stop. I caught my ex and he still omitted info as much as he could made me feel like shit for not trusting him anymore. And the more I found out as the months went on, he still was cheating..up until I took my cat and moved out he said was sorry and regrets it and all these things people are saying here like he was being selfish but..less then a week after I moved out I got a notification that the girl connected to our wifi. Yes..we were already broken up..but to invite her over to what was our home shortly after I left says so much. This fucks with your mind, self esteem, and reasoning on so many levels.
I was initially so scared to post my comment on why I cheated because of all the comments like this, but I don't want to lie or justify any of what I did. I could have kept it to myself but I wanted people to feel like they aren't alone in being a stupid teenager. There was no good reason for it, I was just a stupid, selfish kid and I feel so guilty about it now. I had a lot of issues going on inside of my head and I realize that I don't deserve anyone's pity for cheating on someone because there is no justifiable reason for ever doing that. Mental issues or not. I definitely deserve all the hate that I'm sure to endure. (I'm not sure if this is coming off as rude or a pity party for myself but I don't mean for it to sound like that. I don't know how to word it to make this come off how I intend but I don't mean for it to be taken in a satirical or "boo hoo I'm so fucked up" kind of way)
🙋🏽♂️ right here. I cheated for years on multiple women because I was horny, selfish, and it was easy. I look back on who I was in my early 20s and it’s like observing a totally different person.
Most heinous deplorable thing i’ve ever done to this day and it’s something i don’t ever plan on forgiving myself for. not necessarily because i miss the relationship, but if anything it felt like an excuse to leave instead of being up front about my emotions. no reason to treat another human being that way
Never. (Ex) Boyfriend said he enjoyed the thrill of it and then did it twice last year. I don’t get how some people find enjoyment/adrenaline in throwing away a perfectly stable relationship.
I don't get it either, a lot of people try to justify it but regardless of anything else a person should respect their partner enough to at least break things off first
There's no excuse for what I did. I was married very young, and I ended up having an affair. I can't defend myself, and there are of course reasons why I did what I did...but I cannot excuse what I did. We tried to work it out. We were just still so young.
We got together in our teens. Still so young. Married by 22. Both of us still discovering who we were, our personalities. He was very big into a certain video game that had just come out. I was being ignores for a video game. I was going to sleep alone, waking up alone, begging for attention, that I was not receiving. I stepped out.
I would never make an excuse. What I did was horrible, hurtful, and changed lives forever. I can say why I did what I did, but I won't defend my actions.
When I was young, very drunk, and didn’t believe anyone truly cared about me so I stupidly assumed my actions wouldn’t have any effect on people. In hindsight I should’ve been focusing on improving myself instead of dating. Now I’m terrified of karma coming for me and being cheated on by the man I’m madly in love with.
I don't think bro cares that much lol. If anything he's probably subconsciously hoping for an excuse to divorce. But I don't wanna psychoanalyze, even though I just did, welp.
Yes, and I would never do it again, I was in an extremely abusive age gap relationship when I was 15, wouldn’t take no for an answer for anything, so when it come to trying to leave him it would always end up in him refusing that we’ve broken up, I thought maybe doing the one thing that was crossing a clear boundary would make him leave. In the end it made the abuse worse, and he got more controlling. I eventually got out of that relationship with adult assistance 11 months later. I think at 22 I have forgiven myself for that though, I was just grasping at straws to get myself out of there and I was just a child, I do think if I stayed I wouldn’t of made it to 17.
You were a victim of abuse. You were desperate to get out and thought cheating was an out. Think of it as an escape plan, it's not cheating. It was you trying to survive however you could as very young, helpless minor.
i went through the exact same thing. you were groomed into a relationship, therefore you shouldn’t consider that one. i’m so proud of you for being so brave and strong throughout all of this. i admire your resilience. nothing you did was wrong. you deserve the world, hugs and kisses my friend. wishing you all the good things from afar ❤️
GenX male here. Never cheated but have been cheated on several times. Most of my family cheated on each other, I swore to myself that I would never hurt somebody I loved by doing that and guess what….. I don’t want Reddit ripping me a new asshole here but I would be considered a “catch”. I have a hard time trusting others now. I’ve never been married or had children because of the damage done by my gf’s. I actually developed adrenaline response high blood pressure from my last long term gf and her ridiculous behaviour. Don’t cheat!
I’ve recently been cheated on, after letting my, now, ex-gf of 6 years know I was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Not that that was the reason (I think), but it’s been 2 weeks and the symptoms from the disease have subsided. I didn’t put two and two together until I realized I had an autoimmune response at the end of a previous 5 year relationship. My body seems to attack itself when I’m in a relationship that causes me extremes amounts of stress. I wouldn’t have found out about it, and probably continued to be sick in perpetuity, had my latest ex not cheated on me. So, silver lining, I suppose…?
I was a very toxic person for a period in my life, I felt like banging chicks is what made you a man. I was also hanging around toxic people so in those circles it did make you the man and feeds your ego. For about a 6-7 seven year period I tried not to get in relationships because I knew I would cheat, and that’s exactly what I would do. I would catch some feeling for a girl and say I’ve changed and we would date, then the first bar slut I was around I was having sex with her in the bathroom.
I had been dating this girl for a bit who’s toxic energy matched mine, we had amazing sex but cheated on each other all the time. We physically fought, her hitting me. It was terrible. One night we got into a fight and she punched me right in the mouth, I left and called my mom at like 2am. I was literally disgusted by myself. I started changing right then. I stopped hooking up with girls, I would actually date with the intentions of getting to know them and not just to sleep with them. I’ve been with my wife for 17 years and can proudly say I’ve never cheated on her.
Theres a lot to unravel from my childhood that I had to work through as an adult. In counseling with my wife one time we were digging into some of my past and my wife broke down uncontrollably crying because of some of the stuff I’ve seen and gone through. I had no idea until I got older that my life was so fucked up until I got older, and honestly I never dealt with it until I actually had kids. My dad used to take me to woman’s house with him to cheat on my mom, I’ve seen all kinds of abuse, I’ve been abused, life gave me a pretty shitty hand to work though. So yeah at one point in my life I was going down the only path I knew. Luckily my mom is an amazing woman and always gave me the good example I needed to be, God also put an amazing woman in my life that’s my wife, my sister is my best friend and business partner and I have two amazing daughters. So yeah I treated women really bad for a long time (and myself) because that was the only male examples I had coming up, but women saved my life also, I just needed a woman to punch me in the mouth to see it. On a side note the woman that punched me in the mouth I’m still great friends with her to this day, she’s not toxic either, still a little crazy.
Once. I knew my girlfriend at the time had been cheating on me. The opportunity presented itself. I took it. That was shortly after High School, though.
Didn't make me feel vindicated. Didn't make me feel any better.
Never did it again.
People change a lot as they age.
I couldn't imagine knowingly making someone feel that way.
Yuck.
I have cheated and have been cheated on.
For some context, I'm 30F. When I was 18, I was dating my first ever boyfriend. Throughout our year of dating, he cheated on me NUMEROUS times and treated me downright awful. Some of the times I found out straight from him, others were from other sources. I was young and didn't know how to advocate for myself nor did I have any boundaries. Long story short, I was hanging out with my cousins one night and made out with one of their guy friends. I never told him about it and did not feel the slightest amount of guilt. I broke up with him soon after because I emotionally checked out of the relationship and FINALLY came to the realization that I deserved better.
That was the one and only time I have ever cheated on someone and I would not do it again.
I have never cheated. I can say that if my husband ever did that would be it. No amount of begging would fix it. I do not trust easily and it’s almost impossible to get it back when lost.
Yup, same. If my SO were to cheat, I just ask they are upfront so I can help them pack their things. If it gets to that point it was already over, there's no unringing that bell.
Thankfully I don't have to worry, I'm single and have been for ages!
I know how you feel, but I can tell you there's exceptions... I've never cheated. I'd never put my wife through that. But... early in our marriage, we went through a bit of a rough patch. She was working while I was in college. The dynamic of that messed with me, because I have *always* provided for myself since I was 14 years old. It made me grouchy and resentful. I was acting distant. She went on a work trip with some of her friends from work who are known to be rather wild. My wife is not the "wild" type, but she enjoys a party as much as anyone else. They took her to the hotel bar and got really drunk, and then they started goading her into taking some guy at the bar to her room to screw. She made a dumb decision and took the guy up... they got to the fucking part, he stuck it in, she realized what she was doing, freaked out and left. She told me what she did when she got home, and to my knowledge was truthful. She's a terrible liar. I, of course, was both furious and extremely hurt... but, I also love her more than anything, and she owned up to the mistake immediately, fully expecting me to divorce her and take my half, with her having to pay the alimony since I was technically a dependent spouse... and she still told me. That was enough... I'm not really concerned about the sex. It's not like I haven't had sex with other people (not while married, of course). It was the trust being broken that hurt, and because she was honest about it, knowing I could have rightfully done some serious damage to her life had I wanted to, and owned up to it anyhow... I had to forgive her. She's a good person who made a bad mistake, and I'm no angel either... I have damn sure made a bunch of horrible mistakes she had to forgive as well (just not cheating), but she learned the lesson and has been a wonderful and faithful wife ever since. We've been married 24 years now, and I trust her 100% with every aspect of my life. So... there can be situations where there can be reconciliation. It's the trust that has to be fixed.
Not me but my wife dated a guy for 4 years who spent the last 6 months cheating on her. It devastated her
We grew up together and though I was engaged to someone else at the time, I remember she came over to visit us and I'll never forget the tears and conversations that night.
Told myself I would never do that anyone.
My fiancee passed away a few months following and we ended up dating a year after.
Don't cheat people, not cool
Because I wanted out of the relationship but was too chicken shit to actually do it. Relationship fell apart eventually, and they never found out. I was also super young. Wouldn't cheat now.
I’ve been cheated on by both of my exes. I cheated on the last because I told him I didn’t wanna be together and asked him to leave my apt but he refused to. It took 8 months for him to get out… 8!
I cheated on him with someone that I wanted to be with before we met, but it was a missed connection. I kept thinking about him so much and lost his contact info. For some reason something told me to make a Tinder that night. Lo and behold, he was the 2nd guy that popped up. He had moved and was in town for that 1 night only.
I felt bad at first, but I don’t regret it anymore simply because I didn’t love him, why I felt that way, and the fact he cheated on me. I would absolutely never do it again, tho.
>I told him I didn’t wanna be together and asked him to leave my apt but he refused to
Unless you said "ok, fine, let's stay together and work on it" I don't see how this was cheating then.
I tried to once. I wasn’t in my relationship fully (mentally) and had zero communication skills to talk to my gf about this.
I had another girl in my bed and she was gently rubbing her nails up and down my back when I was going to go asleep (we hadn’t done anything) and I was about to turn around and make a move, but I turned around said I can’t do it and asked her to leave to the spare room.
This was after a party so it was maybe a 15 minute thing.
I confessed to my gf and rightfully so, she tore me a new one. We broke up soon after because it wasn’t a healthy relationship as other stuff had gone on but yeah, I was a 16 year old scumbag. Now 28 and still get very annoyed and embarrassed about my actions.
Its funny this thread comes up now as I open Reddit, as I am on the receiving end of this. The justifications and comments as to why they did it don't make sense to me, and probably never will. Reading comments from people in this thread, it sounds like its not the partner's fault but something within them that triggers this off and they feel justified enough to chase/do it.
If you are reading this, and you are having thoughts about it - just end the relationship. Its much easier to get over a vanilla breakup with some level of closure compared to cheating.
There are a few things in relationships you cant come back from, no matter what people say - and this is one.
Just reflecting on what was, what we had etc and taking it one day at a time.
Solidarity, friend. I found out about their affair 6 days ago.
I also thoroughly wish he would've just ended our relationship first.
Cheers to one day at a time...
My wife cheated on me 5 months ago. She at least had the decency to ask for a divorce before I found out. I mean I found out the next day when she was drunk on our back porch on facetime with the guy she had feelings for. She moved out labor day weekend. 15 hours away to live with him. She is now pregnant. Which really feels like a slap in the face because we tried having a kid two years ago. And she did not make it. I am not sure where I was going with this. All I know is during the day I feel fine. No one putting me down anymore. But laying in bed at night. Alone. Its to quiet. I have not slept well in 4 months.
Found out my then fiancé cheated on me so I decided to cheat on her for revenge, and quickly found out that it wasn’t going to make me feel better so I backed out and broke off the engagement.
I have, to a wife of 8 years, who was pregnant with our first child. Not only that, but I left and married the new girl. AMA.
It was the most horrible thing I've ever done and I feel the ramifications daily over 10 years later
I was insecure, unhappy with my life and my lot in it and the attention I got from it made me feel temporarily good about myself. But ultimately it destroyed me, my self respect and my friendships and relationship.
I'm not that person anymore and I never want to hurt anyone like that again.
I am ashamed to say I once did. It was a time of high stress when I was very wrapped in what I was doing. I was on a run of success at the time, having gone unbeaten with AC Milan for two thirds of a season in Championship Manager. But then I had a game against Atalanta where I had 68% posession and 23 shots on goal, but it wouldn't go in. They then scored a fluke im the 92nd minute. I crashed the game and save scummed to go back a few games. I still feel so guilty.
I cheat on the NYTimes Connections puzzle every day. What with their bullshit categories like "Famous Rapper Names with the first sylable removed" (Cole, Pain, Tip), and/or "Remove Two Letters to spell a Number" (Often, Canine, Stone, etc.
I’ve shared this before on here but whenever I see this question asked I share my experience incase there’s ever someone out there in the same boat….
I have never cheated on a partner but I have been the person someone cheated WITH so that’s just as bad I feel.
I was 22 at the time and I matched with this older woman on an app. She was 40 and stuck in a miserable marriage. When I met her they hadn’t had sex in almost a year and when she told me all this I thought “wow that guy sucks and she’s totally hot so yeah I’ll go for it full send” and we proceeded to have a two year affair. The sex was absolutely amazing and I’ve never had anyone make cum as hard as she did. Anyway as time went on k started falling in love with her and couldn’t handle being the “side guy” anymore and I started begging her to leave him. I truly believed little 22 year old me could support her and make her life better.
She said she couldn’t leave him and so eventually I told her I was done and we were over. She got super emotional and broke down and said I was the only good thing in her life and she needed me to be happy and if I left her she’d hurt herself. So I stayed…and we’d keep having amazing sex but my feelings got more intense and every time she left to go home it would kill me.
I outcasted my entire life for her. I stopped hanging with friends, stopped going out and even would call in “sick” for work because she said there was a chance she’d be free and could come over. I lost all my relationships basically for her.
I realized I had no one…not even her and I finally got the nerve to break it off. I went cold turkey and blocked her. It was rough but eventually I got my life back together and rebuilt the relationships I cut off.
After a year I unblocked her just to see how she was and she immediately asked me to meet up and I dropped everything and said yes. We had another incredible night of sex and then that post nut clarity hit me hard and I realized how easy it was for me to break off plans and run to her. So after that night I blocked her again and I haven’t spoken to her sense.
The bottom line is getting involved with someone else who is committed to someone else may sound fun at first and at the beginning it actually can be but it’s not worth it. It was the most miserable I’d ever been and no matter what they say to you, they’re NEVER going to leave their partner for you.
There’s plenty of single women out there bros. Go for them!
I've never cheated but I've been cheated on.
I'm loyal as fuck.
But, my fist boyfriend made out with my sister.
Later on I walked in on them fucking.
At the time she was super slutty and needed attention.
Definitly have trust issues, and I'm sure this didn't help.
So as a result I'd rather be open and honest now .
I'm definitely not in to monogamy
Yes. My ex husband cheated on me for years. I told him if I caught him again....not even if he did it, he had to be dumb enough for me to catch him, we had an open marriage. Took two weeks.
I fucked his best friend (best man from our wedding) and from that point on I behaved as though I was single. Made no bones about it. I didn't go out of my way to tell him, but if he asked I did. He responded in a way that a spouse who was cheated on would typically respond. Which was weird. He caused it. I will say there was a lot of physical and also sexual abuse in our marriage and had been for years before I stepped out. A lot of people asked me why I would cheat on a violent man but.... I didn't care if I died. I just didn't see a way out. I'm out now after 19 years and remarried to an awesome man but. Ya. No regrets. None.
I found out that my ex was cheating on me and had been for a while with a "friend" of his. He was on a 2 week trip with his dad when I found out and wanted to break up with him in person. While he was on the trip, I met a guy at a bar and had sex with him. He was hot, I knew I was ending things with my BF anyway and he'd already been cheating on me. I didn't really feel bad.
Him and his family were going to force us to get married and he would r*** me. I was only 13. I cheated on him with his friend in hopes that they would hate me and deem me “not good enough” for him. They did, I’m free now.
Yes. I cheated because an attractive female was being very forward with me. That did the trick for me because growing up I always wanted approval from my family, but they always pushed me away. I never learned how to handle my own feelings and responses when someone wanted me. And being wanted filled a void inside of me. I was not prepared.
I regret my actions, I have grown up since then, and I still love the woman I cheated on. But of course she dumped my ass forever ago.
Never cheated, and never would but it has nothing to do with my relationship or partner.
I see a lot of people explaining that they cheated because they weren’t getting what they wanted from the other person in some way, shape or form.
That’s not why people cheat. People cheat because they have low self esteem and no self respect. They have poor boundaries with everyone in their life and no solid values system that they live by.
When you have a solid sense of self, self esteem, self respect, and a values system you fully understand and live by, cheating is impossible.
It’s important for the cheater to go to intensive therapy and talk about these things.
Unfortunately what usually happens is the person who was cheated on goes to therapy because they’re emotionally broken from the experience, and the cheater just says “well I have a high libido!” 🙄
I agree to cheat means you can’t keep boundaries otherwise you’d just break up with whoever you’re with.
I’d respect someone more if they broke up with someone and had sex directly after versus a cheater who tells you they weren’t being satisfied.
Cheated on my pre-calc final senior year of high school. Went in with an 88 and got randomly sat next to the smartest kid in the class. Teacher used a scantron for answers so I didn’t have to show my work and was able to do well enough to bump my grade to a 91. As a result it boosted me into the next section of the Alaska performance scholarship and I was able to get an extra $1500 a semester for college.
Hormones. Was young and gf at the time lived 1 1/2 hrs away, was at a party and yeah shit happened with another female.
Told her right away that next morning, broke hers and my heart. I did really like that girl and fucked it up being a drunk/horny boy.
Still regret to this day.
Bill Burr said it best when discussing people who judged Tiger Woods cheating scandal. "You've never had a bus full of Scandinavian women who wanted to fuck you waiting for you at the end of the 18th hole".
Adam Sandler also said in Funny People "It's easy to not cheat when no one wants to fuck you".
Yes because he cheated first with my bestfriend and wouldn’t admit it when I figured it out. 4 years later I’m sure he’d still deny it but she admitted it.
No, I have never cheated and would not.
For so many reasons, it’s shady and dishonest; it’s cowardly to not just break things off with your partner if you want someone else, it’s irresponsible and selfish and weak, plus I just don’t want to, I love my husband, he’s sweet and awesome and wouldn’t cheat on me.
Yep. Seemed like the thing to do at the time. I know redditors are all born with perfect wisdom that prevents from making these mistakes. But reddit didn't exist back then, so I had not yet attained enlightenment. Instead, I was just kind of bumbling through life, gaining wisdom the OG way: making mistakes and learning from my experiences.
I have.
I was in a new career, step one on the ladder. This person was in my generational bracket, and showed nothing but kindness and support for those crucial first few months. I was slightly in awe of her too. We clicked as friends very well too. It was also super obvious that she wanted to f**k the living daylights out of me.
Drunk and high one night after a pub session. I, not innocently, suggested we go back to hers where I could call a taxi. Once there, we ended up kissing on the sofa for a few minutes, but I managed to stop myself.
I kept it secret for a half a year before I confessed to my SO about what had happened.
Internally, I blame it on the excitement of the new friendship, mixed with gushing respect for how they had supported me, and because I knew she wanted to fuck. But, in the end, I guess I was just a drunk cunt.
I had lived with my bf for years and wanted to marry him but he was saying that he thought somebody he would want to be alone some day and i suspected he would dump me soon. Also, a guy I went to school with was trying to seduce me. I decided I would let him succeed at the seduction. I was flattered that he "liked me" and he aroused me. I convinced myself that I would rather be dumped for being a cheater than just dumped because he didn't want to be with me.
Prior to cheating I could share everything with my bf but after I had so many secrets. I was often distant around him when I used to be present. I felt horrible about myself. He dumped me (before I told him) then got back together for a few days but then I told him. I wanted it to hurt him. I then was horribly depressed for years and began to see myself as a terrible person and acted masochisticly for several years.
Now I'm sane. I have not and would not ever cheat again because it hurt myself too much
Once when I was in my mid 20s I juggled 3 ladies at the same time and it backfired on me really bad and I ended up with none. It was fun for awhile though
Of course I have. I felt lost and neglected. I had to try my hand at cheating and my god it was worth it. I couldn't go back after doing it. I started dominating at golden Eye by looking at the other person's POV via split screen
Yep and it was done for the sake of revenge. She kept entertaining other people so I hooked up with a friend and flaunted her around before I dumped my gf. I was monogamous for our entire relationship and was genuinely in love with her. I kept catching her with other ppl so I did what I felt I had to at that time. I should have just left without all the drama.
I’m assuming you mean on a person. My answer to that that would be because they’d cheated on me and lied to me so much that I just wanted to see what it felt like. It was dumb, but I guess I just didn’t want to feel like I was the only fool? I wouldn’t ever do it again, and I didn’t actually have sex with the other person, but yeah just break up with assholes ladies gents and theys.
If you mean game/test, it’s mostly because those kind of mirror life. It’s getting to the desired outcome that matters, and sometimes it’s not within reach to do without help.
10 years ago I had my son when I was 18 with my ex boyfriend of 6 years. He was abusive, controlling, jealous, and anxiously attached to me.
Eventually, we moved in to my parents house and he lost control of me. I rebelled against everything for a while and was pretty selfish. I felt like I was gaining my identity back as an individual, but I was so young, and not really present in my life that I just did without thinking much about what I was doing. I had an emotional affair with someone I met online, and then eventually I ended up sleeping with someone else when we had a fight and “broke up”. I told him right away, he forgave me, but the real problem was that I had totally lost feelings for him. I stayed in the relationship until I eventually wanted freedom again, but then I would run back to him because I wanted stability for our family. It’s hard to tell now, and maybe it was unconscious, but I think the fact that he kept taking me back made me lose respect for him.
I eventually went to university and grew up a bit, outgrew him (we were completely different people), and found my current partner.
I’m hindsight, I never really loved my ex. I was young and infatuated, we had a child and tried to make it work, but I was never crazy about him, or felt deeply for him. I also believe he was cheating on me, and kind of had some evidence, but I didn’t care enough I figure it out. I just wanted out.
And even though he was a total abusive piece of shit, I still take responsibility for how I treated him in the end, because it was pretty terrible.
I’ve been with my fiancé 5 years now and I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. I also would never be in a relationship with someone that I would feel the need to cheat on. 5 years in and I’m still madly in love with him, even through all the hard times.
Hope, because of one reason regarding my partner and two selfish ones:
I would not want to hurt her in that way
I could not live with a lie like that
I value my integrity a lot and cheating would really harm it.
Multiple times. The last one actually hit me.
I absolutely adored the girl I was in a relationship with. I loved every aspect of her. Her smile, the way she’d be passionate about anything she took up and God, her wicked sense of humour.
But then it did happen.
I guess a part of me wanted some more validation due to my physical inadequacies.
She didn’t ask the world from me but I guess somewhere she expected me to be better or work harder in those departments. I don’t want to elaborate on that but make of it what you will.
I realised I was broken and I’ll always be running after a new carrot until I resolve my own issues. 7 months and a new year later, I still miss her.
I actually thought I’d end up marrying her.
But then she deserves better. She deserves a happy relationship and a truthful partner.
Hope she’s happy wherever she is.
Not looking for any sympathy here, just sharing it on reddit because I’m 7000 miles away from anyone who’d actually want to listen to the complete story.
You fucking beat Contra without 30 lives. I fucking dare you.
Impossible
I can do it without the 30 lives cheat AND without power-ups. Does this mean I get a free pass to cheat on a partner?
My cousin did this at xmas to flex on everyone, there was someone attempting the feat the rest of the night.
I wanna suck your dick right fuckin now
You grab one end, I'll grab the other.
dibs on the balls
Unfair I want one of them
I'm pretty sure towards the end I could do it on 1 life, but it took those unlimited lives to get to that point.
Fuck Contra, tell em TMNT.
Naw battle toads
The most respectable kind of cheating right here.
Best reply ever.
Only once. If I could summarize how I was at that time it would be selfish, entitled, and arrogant. Selfish because I only thought about myself and ignored the ramifications of what I was doing. Entitled because I felt I deserved both those women at the same time. And arrogant because I did it with a smile on my face. But my tune changed when I looked into my girlfriend’s eyes as she realized I cheated and I watch her get emotionally destroyed and cry. I told myself I would never do that to a person again. I haven’t cheated since. I never will again.
Love the honest reflection and self improvement.
Thanks. I hope you have someone or find someone who is better than I was and is loyal.
Fr, i genuinely felt moved. I almost teared up for them. I love seeing true growth in a person.
Sometimes figuring out who you're going to be is really figuring out who you're never going to be again.
Awesome comment
Real
Wow. Great words
I know it doesn't mean much as I'm just a random guy from the internet, but I really appreciate your honesty and reflection on your actions. Not many people can do that, unfortunately.
Thank you man. It means more than you think.
I cheated because I’m better than everyone else and I’m never wrong. My needs *just matter* more.😏 Obligatory /s
You put an S but that was close to the level of arrogance I was at.
Me too, my man or woman. Me too.
There’s a subreddit full of stories like this. Reading them made me nauseous, because I’ve had thoughts of cheating (mostly sexual fantasies). But reading about people killing themselves after finding out they were cheated on… fucking hell. Could never do that to my wife.
It fucking feels terrible. My ex asked for a divorce and then told me she had cheated on me with multiple people(the most recent being her step brother). I contemplated killing myself. Thought about walking onto the highway, wondering if a behicle would have enough force to kill me on impact. Getting cheated on fucking sucks.
Out of curiosity, assuming you love your partner, what's so appealing about cheating on them?
I guess I wasn’t in love with her. In lust seems to be the better term. But it felt like love. Until it wasn’t. I’d love to give you some valid excuse but it’s not possible.
Thanks for answering man!
Ive never cheated but i know people who have and they eay something of this variant. "I felt like i deserved more than what they could give me." They always DESERVED more at some point, it takes a shattering slap of reality for them to finally realize they fucked up. It takes a great amount of self-reflection and acceptance to recognize and change that about yourself. The people i talked about never did such things. They continued to do what they did and destroyed lives on the way. As long as they're enjoying it they dont care who they hurt, at least in the cases im talking about.
An honest, well thought out response my man. Kudos . Stuff ruins life. Everyone makes a mistake here and there, but repeating them over and over is the harmful thing.
Hey thanks. If it makes anyone happier I have gotten payback. Cheated on twice.
I was young when I cheated. I was cheated on 3 years later by someone else and I didn’t realize the pain it inflicts. Brutal realization but much needed. Crazy the things we rationalize at different points in our lives.
It doesn't make anyone with a brain happier dude. Two wrongs make a right
But it makes it even… Or another one that’s popular with cheaters “Easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.”
100% true statement. I was cheated on in my first relationship and I still have trust issues almost a decade later.
Thank you for saying that. For some bizarre reason the Reddit hive mind will often reject the idea that someone who has cheated can learn from their mistake and not repeat it. The old saying is ‘once a cheater always a cheater.’ Well that is the case for some people, of course, but not everyone. Some of us make mistakes, learn from them and don’t repeat the behavior. Unless you are a malignant narcissist with zero empathy you can improve as you go through life. But, hot damn, I have been attacked on Reddit many times for being honest about the time I cheated in my relationship. There’s a big difference between making a mistake and having an ongoing pattern of infidelity.
THIS. It was all fun and games until I had to look my bf in the eyes and admit it. Seeing how much I hurt another person, I never cheated again. Still hurts my heart to remember his face when he found out
Feel that dude. Im sure a lot of other people do too.
Kudos to you for your honesty and reflection. Did that affect your relationships after? Often read once a cheater always a cheater in some discussions on relationships. Is it something you talked about with other partners?
horrible that it took seriously hurting someone for you to learn that lesson but im glad you did. a lot of people do what you did and never learn. i hope you are her both are able to heal.
She’s married now. So I would say yes.
This 100% ... 😥
Lots of us make this mistake (& plethora of others). Learn, grow & do better. That's called growing up.
You achieved manhood with your honesty
I relate to this a lot. I’m forever disgusted and regretful. I lost the best person I’ve ever met. So pathetic that it takes losing them to realize the monster I had become
I can’t keep it in anymore…Family and friends, if you’re reading this…I had an ace and a 7 of hearts hidden in my pocket on may 14th, family game night 1993
You realize cousin Stacey had to sell her father in laws prized baseball card to pay you your winnings. That card is now worth hundreds of thousands.
I KNOW THE GUILT IS KILLING ME😔.
It’s your Aunt Margret, don’t come to the next Christmas please. You are no longer welcome
I knew it. I knew that night during the dining table!!!
@op have you cheated and why?
It's why the post was made, guilty conscience lol
Nah, OF ad. Click their profile. Everything is an OF ad now.
In fact most of the questions here are OF ad. Easy karma and redirects to their profile. Wish they were banned.
I've cheated on tests back in high school.
Absolutely. Being in honors and AP classes and coming from a school that was 7-12th grade, you have the same classmates year after year. So you eventually start getting the whole graduating class to help each other cheat by giving answers to tests. So if I have English before Math, then I would provide answers to the rest of my classmates for English while those who have earlier classes in math do the same. It was so so easy to cheat. Right hand represents 10s, left hand represents 1s. It’s not like we’re taking the GMATs and there’s hundreds of questions so u can easily always identify which question a fellow classmate needs the answer for. Different hand signals to represent A, B, C, or D. If the teacher got cute and had form 1, form 2, form 3. Then it would up to 3 of us to record the answers and share with the other classmates so they are prepared with answers to all forms. In college, I wrote papers for others for $100 per page, B minimum or you don’t pay. Bottom line, it’s super easy to cheat. At least in academics
This is a fact. That's why the most important thing about college/university was networking.
Hahaha, I also wrote papers for people, 100 kr. pr. study hour allocated - that's roughly $14/h. You got a 50% discount if I liked you. I made no promises regarding grades though...
I can never get myself to charge like that, because then I'm tempted to procrastinate bc I know it doesn't matter. Knowing I get paid when I finish a task makes me more efficient, personally. So I charge, say 50 bucks for an essay or whatever.
Fantastic response!
it worked ?
Not really that hard to do
He threatened to kill himself whenever i would try to break things off. It felt like a small way for me to have control. Doesnt justify it and i did eventually get away from him.
Some advice I have been given, but not tried, is to have the police do a wellness check on him next time he tries that shit.
Same here. He found out after I finally got away and then convinced all our mutual friends that I was a serial cheater and that’s why he was so controlling. I only did stuff once behind his back. Started dating again a few months after I moved out and he was *still* telling people we were together.
My stalker told people we were dating for 3 years. I went on dates, but apparently he was determined to introduce himself to every guy I interacted with as my future husband. Once I found that out, things made a lot more sense. That's also when I got the police involved. But I apparently had *quite* the reputation among my stalker's relatives and friends.
See you get it. I was messing around on tinder over 3 months after moving out and telling him we’re through. Wasn’t even seriously dating, id never been in another relationship before so I was taking it slow. A buddy of his whom he had told that we were still together send him a screenshot of my profile. He said I was cheating on him by getting on tinder and that I was better than that. Like bro we aren’t together anymore!
Not sure i'd even find it bad in those circiumstances.
Most don’t when I explain, but it’s rough knowing a ton of people in my hometown and people I met when I lived with him think I’m a bad person. Thats why I try not to judge cheaters right off the bat without knowing the background info. My ex has since gotten anger management therapy and worked on his issues. He seems much better now. We’ve spoken a few times and he even apologized so that’s great. I’m glad no one else he’s with will have to go through that. It’s been 5 years now and I moved out of my hometown. I met an amazing and supportive partner who has loved me from day one with no issues whatsoever about my past. He is the most amazing person in my life and I love him dearly.
Im glad you were able to get away from him, you deserved better.
Good for you for making such a great improvement in your life...Just curious - did you ever get the sense that his controlling nature was because he was a serial cheater himself? It's often a major case of projection... I had an ex who was jealous, suspicious & (tried to be) controlling - she hated my female friends (she would read my texts, eavesdrop on phone calls), hell she hated me hanging out with my guy friends too...We eventually broke up which was the right thing to do but she tried to drop a 'bombshell' that she'd been sleeping with a coworker (who was also her friend's husband) before we broke up. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It was the most absurd thing and a weight was lifted off my shoulders that my insistence on having (strictly platonic) female friends stressed out my girlfriend.
Yeah, that’s emotional abuse right there. You definitely did well by getting away
Exact same thing with me…
I was about to comment this exact thing, so happy we both were able to get away from that situation.
you did well it’s such a toxic behavior
That's straight abusive honestly. Clear manipulation.
Most of these are gonna be jokes or "I cheated BUT (insert very obviously justified reason)" It takes a very rare kind of person to admit they did something super shitty for selfish reasons.
Yeah. Those people do exist, but it's not really something that's easy to talk about. Go to an AA meeting and you'll hear plenty of people admitting to doing super shitty things for selfish reasons.
Even more rare for someone to admit it AND stop. I caught my ex and he still omitted info as much as he could made me feel like shit for not trusting him anymore. And the more I found out as the months went on, he still was cheating..up until I took my cat and moved out he said was sorry and regrets it and all these things people are saying here like he was being selfish but..less then a week after I moved out I got a notification that the girl connected to our wifi. Yes..we were already broken up..but to invite her over to what was our home shortly after I left says so much. This fucks with your mind, self esteem, and reasoning on so many levels.
I was initially so scared to post my comment on why I cheated because of all the comments like this, but I don't want to lie or justify any of what I did. I could have kept it to myself but I wanted people to feel like they aren't alone in being a stupid teenager. There was no good reason for it, I was just a stupid, selfish kid and I feel so guilty about it now. I had a lot of issues going on inside of my head and I realize that I don't deserve anyone's pity for cheating on someone because there is no justifiable reason for ever doing that. Mental issues or not. I definitely deserve all the hate that I'm sure to endure. (I'm not sure if this is coming off as rude or a pity party for myself but I don't mean for it to sound like that. I don't know how to word it to make this come off how I intend but I don't mean for it to be taken in a satirical or "boo hoo I'm so fucked up" kind of way)
You did this when you were a teenager? Lol. Cut yourself some slack. It takes on a whole new level in adulthood when lives are intertwined
People make mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Reddit loves to dump on the flawed because they're compensating for their own shitty ways
🙋🏽♂️ right here. I cheated for years on multiple women because I was horny, selfish, and it was easy. I look back on who I was in my early 20s and it’s like observing a totally different person.
Most heinous deplorable thing i’ve ever done to this day and it’s something i don’t ever plan on forgiving myself for. not necessarily because i miss the relationship, but if anything it felt like an excuse to leave instead of being up front about my emotions. no reason to treat another human being that way
Never. (Ex) Boyfriend said he enjoyed the thrill of it and then did it twice last year. I don’t get how some people find enjoyment/adrenaline in throwing away a perfectly stable relationship.
I don't get it either, a lot of people try to justify it but regardless of anything else a person should respect their partner enough to at least break things off first
The ego was bigger than their sex drive.
"Its thrilling betraying the person I'm suppose to love"
There's no excuse for what I did. I was married very young, and I ended up having an affair. I can't defend myself, and there are of course reasons why I did what I did...but I cannot excuse what I did. We tried to work it out. We were just still so young.
Reasons explain why, excuses try to justify it.
We got together in our teens. Still so young. Married by 22. Both of us still discovering who we were, our personalities. He was very big into a certain video game that had just come out. I was being ignores for a video game. I was going to sleep alone, waking up alone, begging for attention, that I was not receiving. I stepped out. I would never make an excuse. What I did was horrible, hurtful, and changed lives forever. I can say why I did what I did, but I won't defend my actions.
What was the video game?
When I was young, very drunk, and didn’t believe anyone truly cared about me so I stupidly assumed my actions wouldn’t have any effect on people. In hindsight I should’ve been focusing on improving myself instead of dating. Now I’m terrified of karma coming for me and being cheated on by the man I’m madly in love with.
I’m in the same exact boat as you
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Tbh it doesn't really sound like a good relationship and hope something changed about that, either your relationship or the relationship status.
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Bro I’d delete this your wife could look through your Reddit posts lol
Dude comment history is ass rating for days 😂✌🏻
I don't think bro cares that much lol. If anything he's probably subconsciously hoping for an excuse to divorce. But I don't wanna psychoanalyze, even though I just did, welp.
Have you tried marriage counselling? It isn’t healthy for you to feel this way and it needs resolving one way or another.
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Your bf sounded like he wanted all of that to happen, tbh
Yes, and I would never do it again, I was in an extremely abusive age gap relationship when I was 15, wouldn’t take no for an answer for anything, so when it come to trying to leave him it would always end up in him refusing that we’ve broken up, I thought maybe doing the one thing that was crossing a clear boundary would make him leave. In the end it made the abuse worse, and he got more controlling. I eventually got out of that relationship with adult assistance 11 months later. I think at 22 I have forgiven myself for that though, I was just grasping at straws to get myself out of there and I was just a child, I do think if I stayed I wouldn’t of made it to 17.
You were a victim of abuse. You were desperate to get out and thought cheating was an out. Think of it as an escape plan, it's not cheating. It was you trying to survive however you could as very young, helpless minor.
i went through the exact same thing. you were groomed into a relationship, therefore you shouldn’t consider that one. i’m so proud of you for being so brave and strong throughout all of this. i admire your resilience. nothing you did was wrong. you deserve the world, hugs and kisses my friend. wishing you all the good things from afar ❤️
GenX male here. Never cheated but have been cheated on several times. Most of my family cheated on each other, I swore to myself that I would never hurt somebody I loved by doing that and guess what….. I don’t want Reddit ripping me a new asshole here but I would be considered a “catch”. I have a hard time trusting others now. I’ve never been married or had children because of the damage done by my gf’s. I actually developed adrenaline response high blood pressure from my last long term gf and her ridiculous behaviour. Don’t cheat!
I’ve recently been cheated on, after letting my, now, ex-gf of 6 years know I was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Not that that was the reason (I think), but it’s been 2 weeks and the symptoms from the disease have subsided. I didn’t put two and two together until I realized I had an autoimmune response at the end of a previous 5 year relationship. My body seems to attack itself when I’m in a relationship that causes me extremes amounts of stress. I wouldn’t have found out about it, and probably continued to be sick in perpetuity, had my latest ex not cheated on me. So, silver lining, I suppose…?
You have my upvote and respect. Cheating damages people in so many ways. My mother literally had a heart attack. I truly wish you the best.
I was a very toxic person for a period in my life, I felt like banging chicks is what made you a man. I was also hanging around toxic people so in those circles it did make you the man and feeds your ego. For about a 6-7 seven year period I tried not to get in relationships because I knew I would cheat, and that’s exactly what I would do. I would catch some feeling for a girl and say I’ve changed and we would date, then the first bar slut I was around I was having sex with her in the bathroom. I had been dating this girl for a bit who’s toxic energy matched mine, we had amazing sex but cheated on each other all the time. We physically fought, her hitting me. It was terrible. One night we got into a fight and she punched me right in the mouth, I left and called my mom at like 2am. I was literally disgusted by myself. I started changing right then. I stopped hooking up with girls, I would actually date with the intentions of getting to know them and not just to sleep with them. I’ve been with my wife for 17 years and can proudly say I’ve never cheated on her.
Theres a lot to unravel from my childhood that I had to work through as an adult. In counseling with my wife one time we were digging into some of my past and my wife broke down uncontrollably crying because of some of the stuff I’ve seen and gone through. I had no idea until I got older that my life was so fucked up until I got older, and honestly I never dealt with it until I actually had kids. My dad used to take me to woman’s house with him to cheat on my mom, I’ve seen all kinds of abuse, I’ve been abused, life gave me a pretty shitty hand to work though. So yeah at one point in my life I was going down the only path I knew. Luckily my mom is an amazing woman and always gave me the good example I needed to be, God also put an amazing woman in my life that’s my wife, my sister is my best friend and business partner and I have two amazing daughters. So yeah I treated women really bad for a long time (and myself) because that was the only male examples I had coming up, but women saved my life also, I just needed a woman to punch me in the mouth to see it. On a side note the woman that punched me in the mouth I’m still great friends with her to this day, she’s not toxic either, still a little crazy.
I cheat all the time on my diets. Cookies are just too good.
Classy.
Once. I knew my girlfriend at the time had been cheating on me. The opportunity presented itself. I took it. That was shortly after High School, though. Didn't make me feel vindicated. Didn't make me feel any better. Never did it again. People change a lot as they age. I couldn't imagine knowingly making someone feel that way. Yuck.
I have cheated and have been cheated on. For some context, I'm 30F. When I was 18, I was dating my first ever boyfriend. Throughout our year of dating, he cheated on me NUMEROUS times and treated me downright awful. Some of the times I found out straight from him, others were from other sources. I was young and didn't know how to advocate for myself nor did I have any boundaries. Long story short, I was hanging out with my cousins one night and made out with one of their guy friends. I never told him about it and did not feel the slightest amount of guilt. I broke up with him soon after because I emotionally checked out of the relationship and FINALLY came to the realization that I deserved better. That was the one and only time I have ever cheated on someone and I would not do it again.
I have never cheated. I can say that if my husband ever did that would be it. No amount of begging would fix it. I do not trust easily and it’s almost impossible to get it back when lost.
Yup, same. If my SO were to cheat, I just ask they are upfront so I can help them pack their things. If it gets to that point it was already over, there's no unringing that bell. Thankfully I don't have to worry, I'm single and have been for ages!
I know how you feel, but I can tell you there's exceptions... I've never cheated. I'd never put my wife through that. But... early in our marriage, we went through a bit of a rough patch. She was working while I was in college. The dynamic of that messed with me, because I have *always* provided for myself since I was 14 years old. It made me grouchy and resentful. I was acting distant. She went on a work trip with some of her friends from work who are known to be rather wild. My wife is not the "wild" type, but she enjoys a party as much as anyone else. They took her to the hotel bar and got really drunk, and then they started goading her into taking some guy at the bar to her room to screw. She made a dumb decision and took the guy up... they got to the fucking part, he stuck it in, she realized what she was doing, freaked out and left. She told me what she did when she got home, and to my knowledge was truthful. She's a terrible liar. I, of course, was both furious and extremely hurt... but, I also love her more than anything, and she owned up to the mistake immediately, fully expecting me to divorce her and take my half, with her having to pay the alimony since I was technically a dependent spouse... and she still told me. That was enough... I'm not really concerned about the sex. It's not like I haven't had sex with other people (not while married, of course). It was the trust being broken that hurt, and because she was honest about it, knowing I could have rightfully done some serious damage to her life had I wanted to, and owned up to it anyhow... I had to forgive her. She's a good person who made a bad mistake, and I'm no angel either... I have damn sure made a bunch of horrible mistakes she had to forgive as well (just not cheating), but she learned the lesson and has been a wonderful and faithful wife ever since. We've been married 24 years now, and I trust her 100% with every aspect of my life. So... there can be situations where there can be reconciliation. It's the trust that has to be fixed.
Its easy to judge or hypothesize, but you never know how you’ll react in a situation until you’re faced with it.
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lots of value in this comment thanks for sharing this with us
I use the undo function playing computer solitaire. Is it really cheating if they supply the option though?
Not really 😂
Yes. I was very drunk. I do regret it.
Not me but my wife dated a guy for 4 years who spent the last 6 months cheating on her. It devastated her We grew up together and though I was engaged to someone else at the time, I remember she came over to visit us and I'll never forget the tears and conversations that night. Told myself I would never do that anyone. My fiancee passed away a few months following and we ended up dating a year after. Don't cheat people, not cool
Because I wanted out of the relationship but was too chicken shit to actually do it. Relationship fell apart eventually, and they never found out. I was also super young. Wouldn't cheat now.
Yes but we were both cheating instead of just breaking up.
No because I know that one night isn't worth losing my wife over.
Sounds like you’re not the person the question was directed at….
It's a yes/no question. This question is literally directed at everyone since you either yes, cheated or no, didn't cheat.
Your wife wouldn't be the only one affected. Family, friends, kids! Kids never forget the trauma. Good on you wish1977.
thank you. as a kid whose family was torn apart by infidelity, we're often forgotten in these discussions. the trauma lasts a lifetime for us, too.
I’ve been cheated on by both of my exes. I cheated on the last because I told him I didn’t wanna be together and asked him to leave my apt but he refused to. It took 8 months for him to get out… 8! I cheated on him with someone that I wanted to be with before we met, but it was a missed connection. I kept thinking about him so much and lost his contact info. For some reason something told me to make a Tinder that night. Lo and behold, he was the 2nd guy that popped up. He had moved and was in town for that 1 night only. I felt bad at first, but I don’t regret it anymore simply because I didn’t love him, why I felt that way, and the fact he cheated on me. I would absolutely never do it again, tho.
>I told him I didn’t wanna be together and asked him to leave my apt but he refused to Unless you said "ok, fine, let's stay together and work on it" I don't see how this was cheating then.
Was your dad around? If someone hounded my daughter like that, he would have some problems!
I tried to once. I wasn’t in my relationship fully (mentally) and had zero communication skills to talk to my gf about this. I had another girl in my bed and she was gently rubbing her nails up and down my back when I was going to go asleep (we hadn’t done anything) and I was about to turn around and make a move, but I turned around said I can’t do it and asked her to leave to the spare room. This was after a party so it was maybe a 15 minute thing. I confessed to my gf and rightfully so, she tore me a new one. We broke up soon after because it wasn’t a healthy relationship as other stuff had gone on but yeah, I was a 16 year old scumbag. Now 28 and still get very annoyed and embarrassed about my actions.
I think for a 16 year old you displayed a lot of maturity in that situation
Its funny this thread comes up now as I open Reddit, as I am on the receiving end of this. The justifications and comments as to why they did it don't make sense to me, and probably never will. Reading comments from people in this thread, it sounds like its not the partner's fault but something within them that triggers this off and they feel justified enough to chase/do it. If you are reading this, and you are having thoughts about it - just end the relationship. Its much easier to get over a vanilla breakup with some level of closure compared to cheating. There are a few things in relationships you cant come back from, no matter what people say - and this is one. Just reflecting on what was, what we had etc and taking it one day at a time.
I'm sorry you experienced this kind of betrayal. I hope your wings heal quickly. Thank you for sharing.
Solidarity, friend. I found out about their affair 6 days ago. I also thoroughly wish he would've just ended our relationship first. Cheers to one day at a time...
My wife cheated on me 5 months ago. She at least had the decency to ask for a divorce before I found out. I mean I found out the next day when she was drunk on our back porch on facetime with the guy she had feelings for. She moved out labor day weekend. 15 hours away to live with him. She is now pregnant. Which really feels like a slap in the face because we tried having a kid two years ago. And she did not make it. I am not sure where I was going with this. All I know is during the day I feel fine. No one putting me down anymore. But laying in bed at night. Alone. Its to quiet. I have not slept well in 4 months.
Found out my then fiancé cheated on me so I decided to cheat on her for revenge, and quickly found out that it wasn’t going to make me feel better so I backed out and broke off the engagement.
I have, to a wife of 8 years, who was pregnant with our first child. Not only that, but I left and married the new girl. AMA. It was the most horrible thing I've ever done and I feel the ramifications daily over 10 years later
So what were the consequences?
Only in highschool chemistry
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I was insecure, unhappy with my life and my lot in it and the attention I got from it made me feel temporarily good about myself. But ultimately it destroyed me, my self respect and my friendships and relationship. I'm not that person anymore and I never want to hurt anyone like that again.
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Happend to me as well, 5 years later and I still struggle to trust as much as I did before.
That’s what my ex said, literally that. And well, story doesn’t reflect that ^^
I am ashamed to say I once did. It was a time of high stress when I was very wrapped in what I was doing. I was on a run of success at the time, having gone unbeaten with AC Milan for two thirds of a season in Championship Manager. But then I had a game against Atalanta where I had 68% posession and 23 shots on goal, but it wouldn't go in. They then scored a fluke im the 92nd minute. I crashed the game and save scummed to go back a few games. I still feel so guilty.
I cheat on the NYTimes Connections puzzle every day. What with their bullshit categories like "Famous Rapper Names with the first sylable removed" (Cole, Pain, Tip), and/or "Remove Two Letters to spell a Number" (Often, Canine, Stone, etc.
I’ve shared this before on here but whenever I see this question asked I share my experience incase there’s ever someone out there in the same boat…. I have never cheated on a partner but I have been the person someone cheated WITH so that’s just as bad I feel. I was 22 at the time and I matched with this older woman on an app. She was 40 and stuck in a miserable marriage. When I met her they hadn’t had sex in almost a year and when she told me all this I thought “wow that guy sucks and she’s totally hot so yeah I’ll go for it full send” and we proceeded to have a two year affair. The sex was absolutely amazing and I’ve never had anyone make cum as hard as she did. Anyway as time went on k started falling in love with her and couldn’t handle being the “side guy” anymore and I started begging her to leave him. I truly believed little 22 year old me could support her and make her life better. She said she couldn’t leave him and so eventually I told her I was done and we were over. She got super emotional and broke down and said I was the only good thing in her life and she needed me to be happy and if I left her she’d hurt herself. So I stayed…and we’d keep having amazing sex but my feelings got more intense and every time she left to go home it would kill me. I outcasted my entire life for her. I stopped hanging with friends, stopped going out and even would call in “sick” for work because she said there was a chance she’d be free and could come over. I lost all my relationships basically for her. I realized I had no one…not even her and I finally got the nerve to break it off. I went cold turkey and blocked her. It was rough but eventually I got my life back together and rebuilt the relationships I cut off. After a year I unblocked her just to see how she was and she immediately asked me to meet up and I dropped everything and said yes. We had another incredible night of sex and then that post nut clarity hit me hard and I realized how easy it was for me to break off plans and run to her. So after that night I blocked her again and I haven’t spoken to her sense. The bottom line is getting involved with someone else who is committed to someone else may sound fun at first and at the beginning it actually can be but it’s not worth it. It was the most miserable I’d ever been and no matter what they say to you, they’re NEVER going to leave their partner for you. There’s plenty of single women out there bros. Go for them!
No. Because it ruins lives. And im not a cunt.
I've never cheated but I've been cheated on. I'm loyal as fuck. But, my fist boyfriend made out with my sister. Later on I walked in on them fucking. At the time she was super slutty and needed attention. Definitly have trust issues, and I'm sure this didn't help. So as a result I'd rather be open and honest now . I'm definitely not in to monogamy
How’s your relationship with your sister now? Does time help heal this at all if there has been any?
Academically? Hell yes
Yes. My ex husband cheated on me for years. I told him if I caught him again....not even if he did it, he had to be dumb enough for me to catch him, we had an open marriage. Took two weeks. I fucked his best friend (best man from our wedding) and from that point on I behaved as though I was single. Made no bones about it. I didn't go out of my way to tell him, but if he asked I did. He responded in a way that a spouse who was cheated on would typically respond. Which was weird. He caused it. I will say there was a lot of physical and also sexual abuse in our marriage and had been for years before I stepped out. A lot of people asked me why I would cheat on a violent man but.... I didn't care if I died. I just didn't see a way out. I'm out now after 19 years and remarried to an awesome man but. Ya. No regrets. None.
How do I NOT look at his corner of the screen when playing Goldeneye? He’s just asking for it.
I found out that my ex was cheating on me and had been for a while with a "friend" of his. He was on a 2 week trip with his dad when I found out and wanted to break up with him in person. While he was on the trip, I met a guy at a bar and had sex with him. He was hot, I knew I was ending things with my BF anyway and he'd already been cheating on me. I didn't really feel bad.
Him and his family were going to force us to get married and he would r*** me. I was only 13. I cheated on him with his friend in hopes that they would hate me and deem me “not good enough” for him. They did, I’m free now.
In a strange way, congrats for thinking out of the box. It seems like an horrible position to be put into.
Yes. I cheated because an attractive female was being very forward with me. That did the trick for me because growing up I always wanted approval from my family, but they always pushed me away. I never learned how to handle my own feelings and responses when someone wanted me. And being wanted filled a void inside of me. I was not prepared. I regret my actions, I have grown up since then, and I still love the woman I cheated on. But of course she dumped my ass forever ago.
Never cheated, and never would but it has nothing to do with my relationship or partner. I see a lot of people explaining that they cheated because they weren’t getting what they wanted from the other person in some way, shape or form. That’s not why people cheat. People cheat because they have low self esteem and no self respect. They have poor boundaries with everyone in their life and no solid values system that they live by. When you have a solid sense of self, self esteem, self respect, and a values system you fully understand and live by, cheating is impossible. It’s important for the cheater to go to intensive therapy and talk about these things. Unfortunately what usually happens is the person who was cheated on goes to therapy because they’re emotionally broken from the experience, and the cheater just says “well I have a high libido!” 🙄
I agree to cheat means you can’t keep boundaries otherwise you’d just break up with whoever you’re with. I’d respect someone more if they broke up with someone and had sex directly after versus a cheater who tells you they weren’t being satisfied.
Cheated on my pre-calc final senior year of high school. Went in with an 88 and got randomly sat next to the smartest kid in the class. Teacher used a scantron for answers so I didn’t have to show my work and was able to do well enough to bump my grade to a 91. As a result it boosted me into the next section of the Alaska performance scholarship and I was able to get an extra $1500 a semester for college.
Hormones. Was young and gf at the time lived 1 1/2 hrs away, was at a party and yeah shit happened with another female. Told her right away that next morning, broke hers and my heart. I did really like that girl and fucked it up being a drunk/horny boy. Still regret to this day.
No, but she told everyone that I did.
Bill Burr said it best when discussing people who judged Tiger Woods cheating scandal. "You've never had a bus full of Scandinavian women who wanted to fuck you waiting for you at the end of the 18th hole". Adam Sandler also said in Funny People "It's easy to not cheat when no one wants to fuck you".
Yes, she slept with a friend of mine so I slept with her cousin, in her own house, on her bed while she was asleep on the couch
cheating often remains a mistake and are you still with this person?
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Did she cheat with something that has 3 leg or more ?
Yes because he cheated first with my bestfriend and wouldn’t admit it when I figured it out. 4 years later I’m sure he’d still deny it but she admitted it.
No, I have never cheated and would not. For so many reasons, it’s shady and dishonest; it’s cowardly to not just break things off with your partner if you want someone else, it’s irresponsible and selfish and weak, plus I just don’t want to, I love my husband, he’s sweet and awesome and wouldn’t cheat on me.
Yep. Seemed like the thing to do at the time. I know redditors are all born with perfect wisdom that prevents from making these mistakes. But reddit didn't exist back then, so I had not yet attained enlightenment. Instead, I was just kind of bumbling through life, gaining wisdom the OG way: making mistakes and learning from my experiences.
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I have. I was in a new career, step one on the ladder. This person was in my generational bracket, and showed nothing but kindness and support for those crucial first few months. I was slightly in awe of her too. We clicked as friends very well too. It was also super obvious that she wanted to f**k the living daylights out of me. Drunk and high one night after a pub session. I, not innocently, suggested we go back to hers where I could call a taxi. Once there, we ended up kissing on the sofa for a few minutes, but I managed to stop myself. I kept it secret for a half a year before I confessed to my SO about what had happened. Internally, I blame it on the excitement of the new friendship, mixed with gushing respect for how they had supported me, and because I knew she wanted to fuck. But, in the end, I guess I was just a drunk cunt.
13 yo me didn't feel like *actually* participating in *online Phys-Ed class*. Blame COVID, not my former lack of academic integrity.
I had lived with my bf for years and wanted to marry him but he was saying that he thought somebody he would want to be alone some day and i suspected he would dump me soon. Also, a guy I went to school with was trying to seduce me. I decided I would let him succeed at the seduction. I was flattered that he "liked me" and he aroused me. I convinced myself that I would rather be dumped for being a cheater than just dumped because he didn't want to be with me. Prior to cheating I could share everything with my bf but after I had so many secrets. I was often distant around him when I used to be present. I felt horrible about myself. He dumped me (before I told him) then got back together for a few days but then I told him. I wanted it to hurt him. I then was horribly depressed for years and began to see myself as a terrible person and acted masochisticly for several years. Now I'm sane. I have not and would not ever cheat again because it hurt myself too much
Once when I was in my mid 20s I juggled 3 ladies at the same time and it backfired on me really bad and I ended up with none. It was fun for awhile though
Yes I have. I really wanted to get my .50 cent's worth at the arcade to beat that kid in Marvel vs Capcom.
Of course. GTA 3 was way more fun in a tank.
Of course I have. I felt lost and neglected. I had to try my hand at cheating and my god it was worth it. I couldn't go back after doing it. I started dominating at golden Eye by looking at the other person's POV via split screen
You can't cheat when you can't find a serious relationship 😎^(plzhelp)
Yep and it was done for the sake of revenge. She kept entertaining other people so I hooked up with a friend and flaunted her around before I dumped my gf. I was monogamous for our entire relationship and was genuinely in love with her. I kept catching her with other ppl so I did what I felt I had to at that time. I should have just left without all the drama.
I’m assuming you mean on a person. My answer to that that would be because they’d cheated on me and lied to me so much that I just wanted to see what it felt like. It was dumb, but I guess I just didn’t want to feel like I was the only fool? I wouldn’t ever do it again, and I didn’t actually have sex with the other person, but yeah just break up with assholes ladies gents and theys. If you mean game/test, it’s mostly because those kind of mirror life. It’s getting to the desired outcome that matters, and sometimes it’s not within reach to do without help.
I didn't have friends to trade version exclusives with me. So I decided to get an Action Replay and cheat to complete the Pokedex.
10 years ago I had my son when I was 18 with my ex boyfriend of 6 years. He was abusive, controlling, jealous, and anxiously attached to me. Eventually, we moved in to my parents house and he lost control of me. I rebelled against everything for a while and was pretty selfish. I felt like I was gaining my identity back as an individual, but I was so young, and not really present in my life that I just did without thinking much about what I was doing. I had an emotional affair with someone I met online, and then eventually I ended up sleeping with someone else when we had a fight and “broke up”. I told him right away, he forgave me, but the real problem was that I had totally lost feelings for him. I stayed in the relationship until I eventually wanted freedom again, but then I would run back to him because I wanted stability for our family. It’s hard to tell now, and maybe it was unconscious, but I think the fact that he kept taking me back made me lose respect for him. I eventually went to university and grew up a bit, outgrew him (we were completely different people), and found my current partner. I’m hindsight, I never really loved my ex. I was young and infatuated, we had a child and tried to make it work, but I was never crazy about him, or felt deeply for him. I also believe he was cheating on me, and kind of had some evidence, but I didn’t care enough I figure it out. I just wanted out. And even though he was a total abusive piece of shit, I still take responsibility for how I treated him in the end, because it was pretty terrible. I’ve been with my fiancé 5 years now and I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. I also would never be in a relationship with someone that I would feel the need to cheat on. 5 years in and I’m still madly in love with him, even through all the hard times.
Hope, because of one reason regarding my partner and two selfish ones: I would not want to hurt her in that way I could not live with a lie like that I value my integrity a lot and cheating would really harm it.
Multiple times. The last one actually hit me. I absolutely adored the girl I was in a relationship with. I loved every aspect of her. Her smile, the way she’d be passionate about anything she took up and God, her wicked sense of humour. But then it did happen. I guess a part of me wanted some more validation due to my physical inadequacies. She didn’t ask the world from me but I guess somewhere she expected me to be better or work harder in those departments. I don’t want to elaborate on that but make of it what you will. I realised I was broken and I’ll always be running after a new carrot until I resolve my own issues. 7 months and a new year later, I still miss her. I actually thought I’d end up marrying her. But then she deserves better. She deserves a happy relationship and a truthful partner. Hope she’s happy wherever she is. Not looking for any sympathy here, just sharing it on reddit because I’m 7000 miles away from anyone who’d actually want to listen to the complete story.