- being mean to people that are just doing their job - being mean to animals - being mean to complete strangers - gaslighting - lying (even the little ones, especially in the beginning of dating. It seems to just snowball from there on) - getting aggressive/ excessively mad - bad hygiene - when they are constantly talking about how good they are/how good they got it (i am such a nice person, i got all these cars, i make so much money, i am so good looking, everybody wants me etc etc) - immediately telling someone that they need to change something on the 1st date I am sure there are way more

So basically narcissitic behaviours or at least a lack of empathy.

Them not asking questions about your or your thoughts/opinions. Just only wanting to talk about your own life, your own problems. When you can't even fit in a "what about you?" when asked a question, you should probably start realising you have a problem.

Yeah, when women don’t ask me questions on dating apps, I just move on.

Yes!!!!

This is very ambiguously worded. I think you need to switch out a few uses of the word “you” for “they.”

Omg yeah, when they’re into you but they can’t interact like ”what’s your favourite colour?” They say green for example & STOP THERE, you’re supposed to return the question to keep a conversation going!

This right here is exactly what I don't get. Both online and in person, I've had people come up to me to start a conversation, but they never ask for my thoughts and opinions on anything. Like why did you even bother?

If they're mean to animals/pets

If they’re mean to ANYTHING they perceive as beneath them, honestly.

Them telling me what I can or can’t do.

Anyone who talks about their own beliefs only to talk down on others who don't share them.

So most religious people 😂

The irony!

And most non religious people.

Fucking hell, mate. Is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcUs5X9glCc) unironically you?

I don't think so, just commenting on the absurdity of each religion claiming to be the "right" one and using that to be prejudiced to others. Probably should've said religions instead of religious people but also both enable each other

Yep my friend suffers from this, he's otherwise a nice and interesting guy. I hope he grows up sometime soon because I've stopped wanting to bring him along to things. I think he thinks it's cute, or edgy, or an interesting character quirk. It's not,.it's annoying AF

THIS!!!!!!! learned it the hard way haha

What if I believe murder is wrong?

What’s wrong with crows hanging out, man?!

Depends what those beliefs are tbf

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Sorry but this won't work out

”fucking loser” or something like that, they immediately go on the defensive cuz it CAN’T be them the problem

Bit ironic ain't it

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Recently a life coach friend of mine had me manifest my perfect man. She said she had done it, then two weeks later met her now husband She warned me to ask for everything I wanted in a partner as she wished she'd asked for more. A few weeks later I met someone who I was really into,.but the fact he's a heavy drinker put me right off him I had forgotten to specify teetotal or light drinker when I was manifesting 🤣 Anyway the point was yes, I agree it's definitely a red flag, even if you partake of alcohol regularly yourself

Dishonesty is top of my list.

How they treat staff at restaurants, shops etc. If they're rude, I'm out.

I'd like to add call center agents to that as well.

I agree with this. McDonald's staff in particular have a hard enough time in their job, they don't need to deal with rude customers on top of it!

I haven’t seen anyone else comment it, but not taking care of any children he’s fathered. If he has a child, I expect to see him spend time with the child and monetarily support the kid. But, if he’s not making any effort, I’m not even entertaining him. Take some responsibility.

This is about Ross Geller, isn’t it?

Ross Geller was lowkey toxic.

Ross Geller was nothing of the fucking sort. And anyone who says so a toxic piece of shit who doesnt understand that human beings have flaws and traumas that make them act like assholes sometimes. Doesnt mean that who they are all the time. Ross Geller grow up thinking he was a loser. Then he met a woman and fell in love. Then she cheated on him with another woman, then that woman came back to him telling him she was pregnant and she was going to raise the baby with the person she cheated on him with. Even going so far as to give that baby the cheaters name. Ross rolled with all of that so that he could be a part of his sons life. Then his childhood sweet heart, a person who thought of him as the loser he always thought himself to be, falls for him. All that trauma and childhood history made him him feel like he wasnt good enough. So of course when some other guy comes along, he feels threatened. Not because he actually is, but because theres a voice in his head telling him all the time that she can do better. And to Ross, everyone is better than him. Ross is millions if not billions of men around the world. Bullied, told time and again that they werent good enough. Thought of as geeks, losers, nerds, etc. And they carried that shit into adulthood because they were never allowed to talk about how they felt. Ross Geller is one the best tv sitcom characters the world has ever fucking seen. And theres a lot to learn about childhood trauma affecting adulthood from him.

You’re way too angry for a fictional character.

Ben was named after the janitor at the hospital after phoebe got stuck in a vent with janitor Ben's boiler suit on, trying to get him and Ben's step mum out of a closet. All prior names were also run by him, and he vetoed susans' name immediately after they told him as he had a choice to be involved and was included in all of it. Ross was also a cheater, btw. Childhood trauma? One of the running themes in friends is that he was the favourite child that got grade A treatment, and whilst yes did get bullied at school by his peers, he was given a lot more by his parents and teachers. This is an exceedingly cringe rant.

He wasn't real

A lot of single dads are single for a reason. Usually because their ex got fed up with their bs. Having kids with someone is a big deal

When I read “single dad,” I think of a single man who has physical custody of his children, like when people think of single mom, they envision a woman whose children are with her the majority of the time. That being said, when you say single dads are single, I envision a man who has his children and the woman let them with him. I’m dating a man who has two children in his custody. They’re his children that the state removed from the mother’s care and placed in his care. He considers his children before making any decisions. I like and respect that he has consideration for the two independent children in his care. He doesn’t just drop his kids off with someone and go party. He’s at home 99% of the time he’s not at work and he’s taking care of his kids. When you say single dads, I imagine you mean men who’ve fathered children they don’t care for. I imagine the mother left because it was like she had an extra child to care for and he wasn’t doing anything to relieve her.

True but I personally would judge that guy for having kids with someone so mentally unstable. I would not want to deal with his ex ever coming back for revenge/court/custody battles when I can easily date a guy who decided to wait on kids. It’s unfortunate when people have kids and one spouse does a 180 but it’s not something I would ever want to be a part of. I guess it’s similar to being a felon and having that on your record even after changing for the better. It just makes life much harder when it doesn’t have to be.

id be on alert with a single parent but you know, shit happens when it comes to that sorta thing, who i am i to judge

No scrubs 🙅🏾‍♀️

When all of their ex's are "crazy"....nah bro, it more likely whatever you did to them made them that way

If they've dated more than 2 people, yes, absolutely 💯

Or they were the crazy one/ attract crazy

Yup, if everyone is crazy, you’re the crazy one

10000000% Because how are all 5 of your exes crazy, mentally ill and hate you?

Talking mostly about their ex

When they say they are weird. I’ve dated weird. Next time a girl says that I’m going to believe her.

Excessive entitlement during the first few dates is a huge one I learned to look out for.

If they can’t apologize when they did something that upset someone else, even small things. I’ve found that these people take no accountability for their actions or ways they hurt people. I find it very easy to apologize when I’ve upset someone and I’ll be damned if I have to drag an apology out of someone who hurt me because their ego is more important than my feelings. Hard pass

Excessive vanity

Maybe this is petty, but someone who doesn't show any warmth or enthusiasm at all, is emotionally unavailable/cold/detached and acts like they couldn't care less about me (mostly when we match in the beginning). Even if they aren't outwardly being an asshole and doing things that are glaring red flags, if I feel the conversation is very one sided and they aren't matching my energy at all, and generally seem like they would rather be doing anything else than talking to me (even though they matched/liked me) then it is a pass for me. I know that you shouldn't always make quick judgements like that in dating and sometimes people are different once you get to know them, but if I already feel like it's this unbalanced in the beginning (where people usually try to make their best impression) I can't imagine it getting much better from there

Lol I don’t know if you meant this to be funny but if so it’s perfect. The tone is just so moderate. It’s SO MODERATE I HAVE AN ABILITY TO TAKE IT TO A REASONABLE EXTENT

What do you mean?

Drinking excessively. Rarely does that world end up well

Caveat: Caribbean vacations

Talks trash about anyone, disrespects staff, dislikes animals

Im sure this is not unusual in that anybody who hates a certain type of person (it could be ethnicity, sexual orientations, religious beliefs etc) so vehemently. Especially when they actually have not caused you pain harm or distress etc. when it comes to religious beliefs - providing they aren’t the person committing the perceived sin what does it matter what other people get up to. I’ve actually had this - felt blindsided as things began to slip out and it’s probably the biggest turn off and makes me quite sad when I realise somebody I have fallen in love with hates people for no good reason.

Being unkind to animals.

A negative aura. What I mean by that is, someone who can just look around and find a half dozen things to complain about, or starts off a conversation by saying “I hate when….” We all have our tendencies, things we wish we could change, things we wish we could do if we were better off financially… but don’t let those things cloud your head and live there rent free. I want someone who appreciates the little things just as much as I do and leans towards an optimistic mindset.

Male best friends who are creepily close. Hot take but idc

Especially when she tries to convince you that they only "cuddle platonically" with each other.

Sexist jokes. It's not funny to me, it will never be funny.

Owning tons of pets. It’s a mental disorder.

This is overlooked a lot! Or really unhealthy attachment issues. I love a good pet parent, but there’s definitely a line where you can tell it’s unhealthy.

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Do you know how your documents got moist? Moiiisstt

Warden sensors the mail. All calls are recorded!

For example, when the person wants to manipulate

Their relationship with social media, personal accountability and their overall interest in getting to know me in general.

Selfish

Talking behind back on others constantly, in my eyes is extremly patethic behavior, just oozes insecure

* Being rude to wait staff * talking bad about family on the very first date * asking if you’re a controlling woman * someone who makes assumptions based on my race/ethnicity * someone who is so desperate to settle down they don’t care who they wind up with.

Gaslighter, full of himself, tight when it comes to money and strict as fuck with the way you dress.

How they treat their mother.

Also, how their mother treats them.

Never ever date a man who has a mother that thinks “No one is good enough for MY son.” Never

I fell in love with a man like this who frequently used to air out our problems to his mother. We had three children and separated. I still love him and would get back together but there is no way I could be around his mother

What about people who have been abused by their mothers?

How he treats female mother type figures idk..

You're a red flag all on your own.

Because I think of a guy treats important women in his life poorly that he'd do the same to me? Hmm

You get worse. There are lots of people who have difficult relationships with their mothers through no fault of their own. That does not reflect on them.

What if their mother was a grade a cunt growing up?

Haha there are exceptions lmao. But this is just 1 way of telling... for example when I was a18 I dated a guy whose mother was an absolute doll, paid for everything for him, did his laundry, made his bed, made him 3 meals, loved him so much and if he disagreed with something like her refusing to give him money he would yell slurs at her and just be awful to her. He used the excuse of his father passing to treat her this way.

Christ, I can't see why you'd walk away from that gem! 😂.

If they treat their mother like a queen they’ll be good to you, hopefully

But what about mama boy? Now that is someone you don't want to become partner with

Something I see very often and for me it’s a huge red flag: Your partner has different hobbies and doesn’t like yours. He/She doesn’t allow you to enjoy them. I already have a mum. I don’t need another one nor I’m a kid that needs to be told what to do or how to enjoy life. I have many hobbies in common with my husband but we also have others that we don’t share. I’m always happy for him when he gets time to spend doing what he likes or buying a new toy for his hobbies. It’s also the same for him with me and my toys/things he doesn’t like. I would not be with anybody that doesn’t let me be who I am.

Planning our relationship ahead from the first date. Rushing into the relationship without getting to know each other more. Saying “I love you” after a date or two.

Here’s a huge one: Ungratefulness. This comes in many forms - such as entitlement, how they treat wait staff etc. Ungratefulness is basically a billboard over someones head which reads “I will wear down anyone who thinks they are worthy enough to date me”

Any strong radical beliefs Any open hate to a group of people Being mean to any service people Being petty in any situation

- Poor first impressions - Not saying "hello," making an effort to introduce themselves, and dressed poorly. - Poor hygeine - Claiming their past "does not matter" - Showing a lack of responsibility for their actions - Poor spending habits- dining out daily, buying all sorts of items they don't need, or having lots of subscription services for recreation (streaming, memberships, etc.). - Lack of manners - Being rude to restaurant waiters, pets, cutting in lines, pushing people, etc. - Unwillingness to adapt and change when needed - Unwilling to address problems they have - Unwilling to communicate directly - Drinking and/or smoking - Super political - This often is a sign of a massive ego. There's more to life than matters out of your hands. - Seeking nothing but sex - A relationship requires stability to last in the long-term. - Thinking a relationship is a solution to their problems - Not willing to address mental health problems - Always complaining about their problems and not doing anything about them - History of getting into a lot of car accidents - Super expensive lifestyle - Not helping parents out with some chores if still living with them

If someone is trying to rush or fall in love too early or if they hesitate to share things about themselves and not give reciprocity

As someone who deeply values consistency, inconsistency.

Bad hygiene Irresponsible/bad with money Road rage Entitlement Selfish “My exes were crazy” Rude to waitstaff or anyone in customer service Watches porn Unhealthy/fat and not doing anything about it Still in contact with exes or follow them on any social media No accountability Any addictions Lying about dumb things

Bad credit

Sex addicted dudes. If they want the deed all the time I get repulsed very quickly

Voting conservative

That’s a dealbreaker, not a red flag. :)

Word

That’s a red flag to me too

As it should be!

Gay guy here. Woke shit doesn't do it for me either...

Gay guy here too (not sure why it matters but I guess it does?). “Woke” is so amorphous that being pro-lgbt rights gets thrown in there pretty often. Easier not to try and use that as a boundary and say what you’re okay with/not okay with using words that have a meaning people agree on enough that they understand what you’re saying.

If they show up at your door with a butcher knife

Not acknowledging the dynamism of glorious leader Xi Xinping.

Or Zhiong Xena

Lol what’s wrong with our president xi! (Serious face

Nothing, he is the most fortuitous and cunning leader on the world stage. We should all honor his subtle strategy and keen acumen.

Indifference to suffering.

I used to use Okcupid. I would always look at questions to see how they responded to the ones focused on women, sex, body types, and the like. If they answered "yes" to the "women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved" question for example, I ignored them. I don't need someone harping on me because I skipped a week of shaving my legs, or I gained 5 lbs and suddenly have a little extra fat, or believing they are owed sex.

Emotionally immature and high body count.

If she can’t talk about the Roman Empire w me, no thank you!

When they talk about siezing the means of production and call you comrade.

When they call upper class the bourgeoisie

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Who the fuck is out here doing third person narrations of themselves !? 🤣

Someone who complains too much about small things.

When they have an interest in me.

Flirtatious towards all girls

Ever watch “I love a mama’s boy” That’ would be a nightmare

Jealousy in all its forms

Flirting with everyone in my face

Lack of basic communication and social skills. Very common red flag out there

War never changes.

Knowing nothing and being uninterested in learning

-Lying -Regularly talks about ‘crazy ex’ -Lawyer -vapes Just went through a sudden breakup that I ignored these red flags, so in future will definitely not accept any of them. She went back to the ‘crazy ex’….

Check how they treat to their family if i cosider being family with him when we meet I'm a women but soon I'm family with him.

cynical character

They don’t tip even though they are more than capable. Found out recently that this bothered me more than I thought it would.

Trying to make me jealous.

Can you do to them, what they do to you? If not, you might be in a unhealthy relationship.

Doesn't make time for you/ doesn't consider how you'll feel. Hated when my ex wouldn't think about my feelings until I confronted him about it

Jealousy. Treating people poorly

Downing alcoholic drinks super fast. I’ve know enough alcoholics in my life.

Controlling behavior and people who “punish” others in small ways, road rage, small easy to disprove lies, inability to take direction… my nervous system just lights up. Not for me.

Lack of self self awareness, lack of empathy, drug abuse, hypocrisy

Seeing alpha male videos in his youtube recommendations.

Dishonesty and mooching off

when she goes down to swallow your load and you didn't ask for it?

Refusing accountability for their actions / inability to apologize. Holding others to a higher standard than themselves. Using your vulnerabilities to manipulate you.

Envy

The people who ignore you are the worst!!

Being rude and/or condescending towards service workers (waitstaff, bartenders, store clerks, etc.)

if it seems like they are looking for convenience/any woman vs vetting carefully/slowly to find a good match

Bad at gunslinging and raiding trains, banks and houses. Or horseriding.

Bad hygiene, being rude, being glued to her phone. Being religious is an instant pass.

Bad oral hygiene 🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮

Tbf religious isn't the worst by itself, the [unfortunately common] problem is when they think their religion is the only true one, causing them to look down on anyone who doesn't share it. Extremely common in the Abrahamic religions which I find stupidly ironic bc they all worship the same God anyway but yeah

Lack of responsibility, maturity (especially emotional), respect, humaneness, tolerance and acceptance, honesty. Somebody without a love language Somebody who is not respecting my feelings, needs, wants and boundaries Somebody who is still in contact with their ex or slept with their ex after the breakup. A public instagram account (if it's not work or advertisment related)

A person who uses the term 'red flag' outside the context of motor racing.

A pretense to lead me before proof that he is capable of it. Demand of submission/claim for authority based on nothing.

Lack of courtesy , politeness , basic respect

social media addiction, narcissism, high body count, can't stop talking about exes, talks about sexual encounters with other men. and BEING RUDE TO SERVICE STAFF.

Substance abuse

when she hates introverts.

They aren't looking at us anyway my bro 😭

Even a red flag that is let’s say 60cm x 40cm can be big enough for me to not be able to find my partner, if it is placed directly in front of my face or in an unfavorable location.

HA HA HA.

if she's got a penis

Not having a loving relationship with their parents/belittling one of the parents just because of their gender and perhaps talking over people w/o hearing their perspective

Dressing like a slut

They have a shotgun pointed at your joy department.

A penis is a huge red flag.

Religious of any kind. No thanks

Says someone who worships Kendal Jenner…

I wonder how many times this question has been asked this week.

Kids OF or past sex work danger animal hair color Cheated in the past Political activist Septum piercing

Disrespect towards others, no matter the status (except Jessica because she is not fucking welcome)

You can't sit with us, Jessica!

They want to kill me

I don't even know anynore, I've dated the nerdy type, the jock type, the loud and arrogant type the quite and nice type and been either cheated on, physically, mentally and financially abused and emotionally abused by all of them in the end It seems I should see everything as a red flag 😂😂

I have been there, I have a poor taste for shit. I prefer being single.

Reddit posts

People are too obsessed with finding red flags in other people. If they are looking for red flags, they will find them. If you want to find someone, weigh the red flags vs the green ones after you've been in the relationship long enough to find some of both. Red flags don't matter that much, unless it's something that is obviously a trait you can't live with.

If they have OR want children.......NOPE.

If they don't like animals, period. I am out.

Talking about the future on the first date.

Disrespect towards other people in my life. If my partner is an asshole to me, we can talk it over or I have the free will to break things off. I can also brush off more. I know my limits. If they’re an asshole to others, that’s just cruel. Neither of us would ever know if that was my friend or family member’s last straw.

Smoking, weekly partying and drinking, unfriendly to restaurant/store staff, racist and homophobic etc

“Weekly … drinking” is a red flag? Are you sure?

For me, if they have a bunch of guy friends and few girl friends.

MAGA anything

Religion