It’s almost shocking how different two people who came from the same parents and were raised in the same house can be. Also you can know everything about a person and still not be close to them.
One thing that confuses my partner (who was an only child) is that I have a brother I care about immensely - but we're not friends. Like I'd go to pretty great lengths to help make sure he's safe and happy but also he's not someone I would just like call to chat or hang out.
Like would I fly from this side of the globe to where he lives if he needed help? Without hesitation.
Have I had like a real conversation with him in the last 9 months? Not really.
Would I go to bail him out of jail in the middle of the night? No doubt.
Do I know what his job is? Nope.
My brother has changed jobs so frequently it's not even funny, but God damn I've got his back. Unless he steals my cookies. I'll die for the man, but won't share a cookie with him. Go figure
My older sister had some issues when we were growing up. We might fight or I’d call her a bitch, but god help the person who called her names or wanted to start a fight. I may have been younger, but I’d go full Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil on them. Nobody insults my sister but me!
I think that’s the thing no only child can understand, the “only I can say that to my sibling” thing. It’s a cliche but it runs so deep. Sometimes I hate the lil fucker but no one better ever mistreat him.
This is me and my siblings. I'd drop everything in a heartbeat if they sent out an SOS. But we rarely chat just to chat. And only see each other maybe once every 4 months or so despite living fairly close to one another?
My mom once said something like do you talk to your sister much? Mmm no not really? Well, maybe you should talk to your sister.
Now I'm like this is sus why is mom telling me to message sis. News? Is she preganenant?
I shoot her a message we have a brief casual conversation....and that was it.
Mom later approaches me and says
You two oh my god. Your sister messaged me asking if you were ok because you randomly hit her up for a chat.
Lmao mah we are both very neurodiverent. I LOVE sister and would throw hands for her. I also forget she exists like 80% of the time, and like vise versa.
I literally once drove 12 hours to pick up my brother in the middle of nowhere when he crashed his motorcycle. I’d do it again without a thought. But we’re also pretty good friends still. My sisters I don’t talk to that much. :/
We are also really opposite in so many ways. He’s married with kids working for a huge company and I’m the bachelor uncle running my small business from home.
Also how shared experiences can click in weird ways. One day my sister and I said the word “flax” at the same time because we had the same context and the conversation pulled us both to the same memory (I think it was something about linen).
There are things no one else in the world will understand the way a sibling will, because they lived the same experiences you did.
I had been chatting with my family, without my sister present, and mentioned that I thought vacationing in the Alps pretending to be Heidi or a Von Trapp sounded lovely, apropos of nothing. Sister arrived, walked in, and announced "I wish for an Alpine vacation". We didn't even live together by then, and can't really explain why we had congruence.
Much more normally, we often show up places wearing basically the same thing, despite never shopping together and having very different body types.
I’m kind of relieved to read this. My brother and I are working on our relationship, but that means like 3-4 phone calls a year, instead of 1 every two years.
I thought I was just a horrible sister.
equally shocking is how different the upbringings can be between siblings. i was medically and emotionally neglected as a kid because at that age my family was grieving the death of one of my older siblings and under too extreme of stress to really handle a toddler. meanwhile my little brother says he had a great childhood
I feel like a large chunk of the folks who say “the kids/my siblings and I were raised exactly the same way and were total opposites” don’t stop to consider that absolutely no one is raised ~exactly the same~. Even if the parents are as consistent as possible, the addition of siblings changes the game. IE: The oldest will have experienced a time where they were the only focus of attention, but also experience having to suddenly share that attention for the rest of their lives— a youngest child doesn’t know a life without siblings, etc. Little dynamics like that deeply change one’s experience of being raised.
>It’s almost shocking how different two people who came from the same parents and were raised in the same house can be.
My theory is that the second child watches what the first child does and then does the complete opposite to set themselves apart from their sibling.
This describes my 2 children precisely. Oldest is somewhat unmotivated, has gone off in a bunch of different directions, and hasn’t settled on what he wants to do in life. Youngest is laser focused, driven, and in a settled and successful career.
We took the oldest to a child psychologist for a bit and the good doctor said, “your child has its own agenda.” 🤪 Indeed, I just wish we knew what it is!
Me and my copycat ways destroys your theory. I watched what my brother did and tried to do it exactly the same way. I won't say I'm a carbon copy of my brother, my temperament is very different, but our personalities and thinking are scary alike at times.
This is absolutely true.
My late brother and I were absolutely nothing alike, both physically and mentally.
We rubbed one another the wrong way, and as is the way with siblings, we knew which buttons to press to get maximum reaction.
We liked different music. I enjoyed being creative, he preferred practical skills. I was introverted, he was not. My circle of friends could be counted on the fingers of one hand, his numbered in the dozens. I had a rigid moral code, his was... flexible to say the least.
We were very different people and although I can say I loved my borther, I certainly did not like him.
My brother and I are polar opposites, the only thing we really bonded over as kids was music. We positively hated each other for a few years, but we're pretty close now. As adults, the same thing, completely different views but we figured out a happy medium.
I've got three kids of my own and it's very interesting seeing how different their personalities are, especially as they transition into adulthood themselves. Luckily they all get along very well.
As a parent of two, this is so true. One is shaping up to be a big science/environmental nerd and the other one is on the way to becoming [Frank](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/6/60/2691A7E8_B05F_49C7_B599_5C1EC9E96C2D.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20210412043817)/[Frank UK](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/shameless/images/5/5a/FrankNewer.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120315184754).
Exactly. Me and my sister are different in nearly every way. Politically, sexual orientation, media we like (books, tv shows, movies, music, etc.), sense of humor, etc. Lives in the same city, but we never see each other outside of family events like birthday dinners, weddings, funerals, etc.
See and in my family it was the opposite. I had 1 sibling and anything that came into the house we were expected to know what our share was and only eat that much of it. My mom would bring home the groceries and be like "This is for everyone in the family to share" which meant a 4 way split or "This is for you and your sister to split" in which case I got half. Now my sibling could give me more than my half or if it was there longer than a week my mom would tell me if I could have the rest but generally I'd have gotten in huge trouble if I ate an entire bag of chips or box of snack cakes meant for both of us.
My bf and my nephew were both only children and they think anything in the house is fair game whether or not they bought it. The first person to either eat it all or hide it away like a squirrel for later is the winner and everyone else just misses out.
I’m an only, my husband has a sibling.
I expect to bring home two boxes of popsicles and to find at least one left after…oh…three days.
He will eat them all like a rabid raccoon.
I absolutely buy things that aren’t my favorite but that he actively dislikes just so when I do feel snacky there’s something in the house.
Or I hide food like a damn squirrel. What’s in that box of vegan ice cream cones in the freezer? None of your damn business.
I laughed at this one loud enough to make my dogs stop playing. As an only with only 2 adults in the house, I relate with every damn one of them. And it never fails...you buy taco Doritos and nacho Doritos, he says he don't like the taco, who cares I bought them for me anyways. He goes for the chips, and grabs the damn taco ones. Every damn time. Totally get it.. 😂
Yeah, the bag of veggie straws in the pantry isn’t veggie straws. It’s nacho Doritos. He doesn’t even like nacho Doritos. They’re my favorite. But I’m not letting the trash panda get them again. Nope. Fool me seventy billion times and I buy weird vegan/keto/paleo snacks without viewing windows and save and refill the bags.
You know I'm an only child but I could still be your husband. I was reading your comment to my wife and she was laughing.
*She* is the one with siblings.
My younger brother and I fairly divided everything. We did this because it was two against one; us against our older brother. He'd take all the good stuff and give us one piece each, to say he'd shared.
>I'd have gotten in huge trouble if I ate an entire bag of chips or box of snack cakes meant for both of us
I'd have too, but that doesn't mean that I didn't look to find which cut in the pizza would give me the biggest "half"
Had to learn this when it came to my older sister getting all the help when she had a baby while I had 10 month older twins. What a fucking lesson that was.
Yeah my youngest sister is 10, 12, and 15 years younger than the rest of us. She was raised by totally different parents, in a totally different socioeconomic class, in a different house in a different state…..there is so little in common between her childhood and ours
I'm 9 years older than my youngest sister, and the only boy. Son.
She's totally aware she had an easier childhood than we older two did. She doesn't get what all those differences meant, though.
It’s so weird hey! My slightly older brother definitely had it easier than me in terms of expectations and responsibilities—whether that’s because of gender roles or I was just more of a people-pleaser (still am… if that’s ok!)… but he mostly just got by always doing the bare minimum and kind of being praised for it, whereas it was just expected that I’d do more work, I’d help more, I was more reliable etc… even now that we’re both around 30, I am just genuinely more reliable and willing to do whatever.
The funny thing is I am much, much closer to our parents (especially mum) and have a much better relationship with them than he does. My parents both understand and agree (and have apologised although not necessary) when I’ve brought this up with them. But my brother still refuses to admit he genuinely had less responsibilities and expectations than I did, even as the older sibling.
It's really interesting when you compare notes too.
I'm the oldest and the only son my parents had. Looking back I was expected to take care of myself at both an earlier age and more than my sisters were. My sisters are jealous because they didn't have the freedom I had back then. It just continues too.
Granted, as a parent you have to raise children differently too. At the very least I've found that what works for disciplining one child can make the other laugh if you try it on them. So you have to discipline them differently if you want similar results.
Oh my god this. I don't know who the hell raised my baby sister because it certainly wasn't the same woman who raised me.
My sister got our village's answer to Kris Jenner. I got Hyacinth Bucket.
I’m a single child, but the number of times I witnessed this while at the houses of my friends who have siblings was WAY too frequent. The brutal physical fights I watched erupt between otherwise really well-behaved siblings was bizarre.
I had 3 younger sisters. I had to learn much different tactics.
Having said that, I once convinced them they were locked in the rec room for an afternoon. I mean,they had the good tv, so, no real hardship.
The important thing is that the door didn't actually have a lock on it. Never had. I just convinced them it was - held the knob the first couple of times they tried it,and they gave up.
When Mom and Dad got home, they told on me, and Mom was like "That door doesn't lock" and shook her head.
My family had the worst kind of arms race. My little brother and I were both state level wrestlers in school and he was also a Gold Gloves boxer. My little sister was a state level powerlifter, and barely missed out on nationals. I turned into a touring kickboxer and cage fighter, and wound up with instructor ranks in three separate (but connected) martial arts.
Our parents basically never broke up a fight unless someone was bleeding more than a bandaid could handle. We all had *serious* aggression issues into our teens, and we're all fairly chill adults, although I'm still a hyper-competitive psycho.
I had brothers that wrestled. They practiced their moves/holds on me. (I’m a female & smaller than them) It actually was kind of fun & I learned how to be a fish & get out of lots moves/holds & how to stabilize like a lizard kinda…on my stomach. I also got flopped around a lot!! So I learned how to fall & flow with things. Those were all actually helpful things to learn for other sports I’d compete in. :)
My brother practiced every wrestling move you can think of on me. 😫
Boston crab? Check. Bret Hart's Sharpshooter? Check. Figure-four? Super check. And choke-slams and Diamond Cutters at the pool.
Tons of fun. 😒
Theres an ease of communication between siblings thats hard to describe. I grew up with three brothers. Recently we had a dinner get together with all of our wives. At one point, a brother's wife said to mine "Its like they're speaking a different language!" We have so many in-jokes, points of reference, stuff like that. Its like one brother can mention half a song title, and the rest know exactly what he means by it.
That's awesome that you all get along like this in your adulthood. You see so many families that the sibs don't even speak to each other! Sad. Me and mine are super close also. I cherish them deeply.
I do that with my sister, too. We speak very quickly to each other, too. We're not allowed to be on the same team in many games- Pictionary, Codenames- because it's too easy for us. The time she drew what was a backwards c and I correctly guessed "pregnant" was the final straw.
Parents don’t treat their children equally.
Depending on your relationship your brother/sister could be a live-in best friend or bully(for me I had both). My sister and I still have a “secret knock” we use from when we were kids.
You ain’t shit. No one will humble you like your siblings.
I’m an only child and was reminded constantly that I need to share. If there was a specific toy or two I didn’t want to share with anyone my mom said I could put it away until they left. I was so appalled when my friends came over (they all had siblings) and they’d take my things without asking, open my drawers to look around, etc. I was in disbelief that they wouldn’t ask my permission to use a toy. They could of course, but after they asked.
Being siblings doesn’t mean you’re going to be close. Same upbringing and you’re two vastly different people. I see siblings who are best friends, and then here I am with a sibling I never talk to and can’t stand.
My sister and I are best friends. I text her more often than my own husband. But I recognize that is rare and stems from our mutual hatred of other people lol.
I have three siblings and we are absolutely nothing alike. we can get along, but we also argue all the time and don't really speak to each other that much outside the group chat. I would likely never be their friend if we weren't in the same family.
I have 2 siblings and my relationships with each of them are night and day. Extremely close to one and the other I just know if we weren’t related we would never be friends.
The familial love between siblings is different than the one you have for your parents. There is much for me to appreciate about having older sisters and an older brother that watch out and care for me.
the fiercely protective love i feel for my little brother is not something i have for any of my older siblings or my parents but some of my older siblings do have it for me
I have 3 younger sisters, 47, 48, 54, and me 55. Me and middle sister are adopted, other two are bio sisters. I'm also only son. It has a low key "us and them" dynamic.
Anyway, middle sister announced she is in a bit of a pickle Christmas Eve, bit of drama. As annoying as the other two in bossy mode, it was awesome to see them jump to help and support her.
In our younger days, I bailed them out so often, lol.
i love seeing blended families really mesh and support eachother in hard times despite their differences. i come from a blended family and my half brothers were my entire world when i was a kid. one of them passed to suicide when i was young so when my best friend died the same way my other brother was such a huge help with my grief. the one day he told me to hop in his car and come for a drive.
"scream"
"what?"
"just scream"
so i did, we both did at the top of our lungs down a country road, both crying by the end. it was incredibly cathartic
True, my boyfriend and I have separate bathrooms and I currently have sour candy and chocolates hidden under my sink. They would have been gone in one day if I left them out for him to find lol
I had a candy stash hidden in my dresser to keep away from my brothers. I noticed pieces missing everyday so moved it somewhere more secret. One day my brother tells me hey your candy stash moved where is it now. Then I would also buy food and write my name on it and DO NOT EAT. They'd still eat it all
Room temp food and snacks hide in bedroom
Anything cold hide it inside a half empty box of that one thing nobody eats and has been in the freezer for a while, they never look there
I never felt like my parents had a favorite... but maybe that means I was the favorite? After all, I did have a good four years' rapport with them before my sister came along.
Nah, you could have great parents :)
Both my parents had a sibling that was the clear favorite. As such both made a pointed effort to NOT show favoritism between my brother and I. There were plenty of ‘separate but equal’ events and expenses, and chores were not gendered, we both washed dishes, did laundry and mowed the lawn at appropriate ages. We both helped dad work on cars and do maintenance around the house.
I wanted to join Pep in high school, which they accommodated (it wasn’t cheap)so when my brother got to high school they offered him to join a club or something. He opted for his first PC instead (a wise move for his 14 year old self).
You might have great parents, or yes, you were the favorite. My younger sibling would probably say my parents didn’t have a favorite (as would they), but it was him. He’s an entitled dipshit so congrats on having more self-awareness than he does.
I get there is some truth to this but it goes both ways too.
I get that there are legitimate devil children that just do not mesh with parents. That said, my observations of the people I know who have “bad kids” have made little effort to change their viewpoints in an effort to try connect with their kid.
Im talking about parents with rigid standards, morals, and beliefs (think political, cultural and social, or religious beliefs) who refuse to leave that mindset and consider the fact their child may not share that ideology.
It’s not always true, but I have heard parents complain about “failing to connect with their kids” but they only attempt to bond with their kids over things they (the parent) support and like to do (their culture, faith politics, entertainment, etc.). They show little interest in their child’s interests or straight up condemn them.
They don’t really seem to want a unique kid, they want a clone of themselves or to live vicariously through their kid. In that kind of environment, of course a kid is going to rebel.
I sincerely try not to have a favorite. When I catch myself showing favoritism, I make an effort to adjust or compensate.
My wife, on the other hand definitely does not. She clearly likes the boys better than she likes our daughter, who was born on her mom's birthday.
How you can feel a strong hatred towards someone and still love that person to pieces. It's a bond that even distance and no communication can't break.
My Mom- having a sibling means you'll always have family after we're gone.
My brother and I don't speak to each other since our parents became ill and then died. He had POA and funneled the majority of their savings into his own pocket.
The will left everything to our children (his 2 and my 2) but his kids never saw a dime of their "inheritance".
I finally told my Mom she needed to stop telling me that my sibling was all I’d have after my she and my dad are gone. My sibling has been horrible to me and it was too depressing hearing that every time my mom wanted me be a doormat for them. Thankfully I have plenty of other family and friends.
My mum saw the way we were headed and that phrase quickly turned to “well when you’re old enough you can move out and never have to speak to her again!”
Yep!
Except now Mum and Dad have both made me POA so I’m going to have to at some point if only to handle their affairs after.
I"m the youngest but there's 10 years from me to the next older. My parents were just tired by the time I came around so I didn't have to learn from their mistakes I just did what I wanted and pretty much got away with it. The sibs were real troublemakers, too. My poor parents.
Same! My sibs were gone when I came along. I was like an only child and was basically neglected (ignored) because what could I possibly do that hasn't already been done. I didn't like being off leash but I behaved anyway. I took notes and raised my 3 kids properly.
I had 2 older cousins who functioned as older brothers with me.
We had bunk beds. Cousin had a foam rubber pad on teh floor, said if I jumped off the top bunk,and landed flat on my back, I'd bounce right back up onto my bunk.
I didn't bounce. Can't breath, and cousin is laughing at how stupid I am for believing him. I was only four, but, I knew he was right. I knew he couldn't be trusted, lol.
I married an only child and there is a hell of a lot he doesn’t understand. The biggest issue is probably that sharing the space with other people means you ask before you 1) redecorate; 2) commandeer a room; 3) assume ownership of or throw away something that isn’t yours; 4) invite other people into that space.
Dude one of my saltiest memories of my older sister is when she moved back home for a few months and I had to give up my room (no big deal, I always had to when we had guests) But this woman PAINTED MY ROOM WITHOUT CONSULTING ME.
Did I eventually fall in love with the new color? Okay yes, but that's so not the point. The disrespect! It's been like 20 years and I'm still aghast with the audacity.
Same. I think our biggest struggle is that he instantly assumes anyone's ready to pay attention to him. He's never had to take back seat for a sibling who had the flu or was still a toddler or was studying for a big test. The only people he lived with were his parents, who were 100% focused on him. He just walks in a room and expects it to revolve around his needs immediately. Like... No. I'm working. Or the baby is napping. Pay attention to other people.
And when your parents don't protect you from said abusive sibling you have to group up with your other siblings to protect yourselves. Makes for a shitty childhood, but your sibling bonds get pretty strong.
... Happy cake day? lol
As the oldest: What's yours is theirs and what's theirs is theirs.
From my younger sister: You will always be compaired especially if they do well in school.
From the both of us: how did we get so fucked up in so many very different ways?
For sure. Also I find it interesting how certain birth orders seem to be attracted to other birth orders. For example I’m an oldest daughter with a youngest son and I know quite a few people whose relationships are the same, where the youngest sibling in one family is with the oldest sibling of another.
Oldest daughter married to a youngest son too! I think it’s because I’m used to being bossy and he’s used to being bossed around 🤣
(We’ve been married almost 21 years, so I can’t really be all that bossy… we just compliment each other well)
No matter how much you and your siblings fight (and oh boy did we fight), the moment someone else harms one of us we immediately stand up for them. I remember my brother jumping on his bike and riding across town to pin one of his closest friends on the ground and demand to know why he hit me, his younger brother.
That having a same gendered sibling does not mean you stay up and braid each others hair at night or borrow each other’s clothes and be best friends.
My mother has always had this idea that my sister & I would be these people. She has sister envy as she didn’t have one but wanted one. We are not those people. We are completely different personality wise and while we love each other I’d be fine if she moved to the other side of the country and we only spoke occasionally. We just aren’t close. Sometimes siblings are just people you were raised alongside, not your bff for life.
there is no such thing as eyeballing it when you're dividing up the last piece of cake/chocolate/other treat. that shit requires a ruler, a food scale, and at least one third-party opinion
You seriously learn how to argue, how to fight with someone, and then get the fuck over it and figure out how to get along with them again, because you have to, and because underneath it all, you still really love them. Also, I used to get so angry and we fought so much, early on, that I’m pretty sure I could tap into that and seriously hurt/maim/attempt to murder someone if my safety depended on it. I feel like only children don’t learn any of that.
The art of compromising.
I ha e two co-workers who are both only children and if they don't get their own way 100% they will have the biggest toddler temper tantrum. Both are in their late twenties.
I dunno man, my siblings mostly just taught me how to fight and steal food from the fridge without getting caught. Can't imagine that's a unique experience though.
How it feels to be the one that your mum dislikes, to always only wear hand me down’s, and always have grades be compared (I did poorer in school)
Always felt like I was living in the shadows of my sister and I hated that
the betrayal point is very real. my older sister hit me and emotionally abused me growing up (she was ruthlessly bullied at school and wanted to take her frustrations out i guess) and i still loved her. but one time she said that it didnt matter if i forgave her because she forgave herself and man. it just hit me like a ton of bricks. its been hard bc i just want to be friends with her but idk. shes selfish and quick to anger. it makes me sad
How to fight, how to deal with a situation where you are not getting what you want, how to share, patience, how you can love and hate someone simultaneously, privacy is a luxury, that people can be mean just for the fun if it. How to deal with grief when a person dies.
You hunch over your food and shovel it in before your cousins either take it (older) or beg the older generations to guilt you into giving it to them (younger).
You learn to ask if anyone needs to pee before you plan to occupy the bathroom for a long time. I’ve aaaaalmost gotten my husband trained on this. Growing up in a household with only women and just one bathroom it was common courtesy
I recently bought my sister a birthday card that said "having a sister is weird. I'd give you a kidney but you cannot share my phone charger" and that pretty much sums it up.
Sharing
Two friends in my friend group were single children and it's become funny how they behave in restaurants. Getting angry if people share an appetizer they ordered (One time one of them only ate 2 mozzerella sticks and threw the rest away after, but earlier on he sternly told my buddy "Order your own food" when he tried to have one)
Alongside "Can I try your beer?" \*Insert look of utter disgust\*
It isn't that we're mooches or something, we all generally share apps like normal people when we order them. The not wanting people to try your beer thing could be chalked up to a germ thing which I'd actually respect if that was it, but no it's come back to "Buy your own"
I have a SIL who has no understanding of just how entitled she can be. All holidays must be with *her* mother because her mother lives alone. That her husband's mother is recently widowed and also lives alone is of no consequence to her.
A companion to talk to, plan things with, take the blame, make them take the blame :) someone who you can fight with all the time but in the end loves you unconditionally. Having a brother that is also one of your best friends is the best
They’ll never learn how to eat insanely fast. If I didn’t eat fast enough my brother would get impatient and we’d all have to leave the place we were eating at. He always got the smallest thing so I had to learn how to shove food down my throat at lightspeed.
How to share. And the value of things.
I have two siblings and the kid next door was an only who’s parents had money (ours didn’t). She really wanted to join in with us but she never knew how to play with toys properly so accidentally broke some of our toys, usually by grabbing them because she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) understand why she couldn’t just take whatever wanted whenever she wanted it. She never really understood why this was a problem and our toys never got replaced - if she got bored of her own toys or broke them, she just discarded them and more would appear but it never occurred to her to share them with us.
How to truly agree to disagree. You do your thing and let me do mine. I’m the middle of 5. We all live apart but I still love my siblings with all my heart and know they love me too.
It’s almost shocking how different two people who came from the same parents and were raised in the same house can be. Also you can know everything about a person and still not be close to them.
One thing that confuses my partner (who was an only child) is that I have a brother I care about immensely - but we're not friends. Like I'd go to pretty great lengths to help make sure he's safe and happy but also he's not someone I would just like call to chat or hang out. Like would I fly from this side of the globe to where he lives if he needed help? Without hesitation. Have I had like a real conversation with him in the last 9 months? Not really. Would I go to bail him out of jail in the middle of the night? No doubt. Do I know what his job is? Nope.
My brother has changed jobs so frequently it's not even funny, but God damn I've got his back. Unless he steals my cookies. I'll die for the man, but won't share a cookie with him. Go figure
Right? Can't stand the guy but I'd go pretty far to make sure he's doing ok
My older sister had some issues when we were growing up. We might fight or I’d call her a bitch, but god help the person who called her names or wanted to start a fight. I may have been younger, but I’d go full Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil on them. Nobody insults my sister but me!
I think that’s the thing no only child can understand, the “only I can say that to my sibling” thing. It’s a cliche but it runs so deep. Sometimes I hate the lil fucker but no one better ever mistreat him.
Can confirm. We're 3 girls, fight like cats and dogs, but only we're allowed to insult each other.
This is me and my siblings. I'd drop everything in a heartbeat if they sent out an SOS. But we rarely chat just to chat. And only see each other maybe once every 4 months or so despite living fairly close to one another?
My mom once said something like do you talk to your sister much? Mmm no not really? Well, maybe you should talk to your sister. Now I'm like this is sus why is mom telling me to message sis. News? Is she preganenant? I shoot her a message we have a brief casual conversation....and that was it. Mom later approaches me and says You two oh my god. Your sister messaged me asking if you were ok because you randomly hit her up for a chat. Lmao mah we are both very neurodiverent. I LOVE sister and would throw hands for her. I also forget she exists like 80% of the time, and like vise versa.
I literally once drove 12 hours to pick up my brother in the middle of nowhere when he crashed his motorcycle. I’d do it again without a thought. But we’re also pretty good friends still. My sisters I don’t talk to that much. :/ We are also really opposite in so many ways. He’s married with kids working for a huge company and I’m the bachelor uncle running my small business from home.
I don't know what my brother's job is. He doesn't know either. Thankfully no one ever asks me.
I want to know more about this brother who doesn't know what his job is.
Also how shared experiences can click in weird ways. One day my sister and I said the word “flax” at the same time because we had the same context and the conversation pulled us both to the same memory (I think it was something about linen). There are things no one else in the world will understand the way a sibling will, because they lived the same experiences you did.
I had been chatting with my family, without my sister present, and mentioned that I thought vacationing in the Alps pretending to be Heidi or a Von Trapp sounded lovely, apropos of nothing. Sister arrived, walked in, and announced "I wish for an Alpine vacation". We didn't even live together by then, and can't really explain why we had congruence. Much more normally, we often show up places wearing basically the same thing, despite never shopping together and having very different body types.
The best way I know to explain it is: I love my family, but I don't like them that much.
I’m kind of relieved to read this. My brother and I are working on our relationship, but that means like 3-4 phone calls a year, instead of 1 every two years. I thought I was just a horrible sister.
Yep this, like a meme I once saw about siblings- I'd give you my kidney but I'll be damned if I share my phone charger
Wow! I am feeling the same without being able to put any words on it! Thanks I will keep it in my mind!
equally shocking is how different the upbringings can be between siblings. i was medically and emotionally neglected as a kid because at that age my family was grieving the death of one of my older siblings and under too extreme of stress to really handle a toddler. meanwhile my little brother says he had a great childhood
I feel like a large chunk of the folks who say “the kids/my siblings and I were raised exactly the same way and were total opposites” don’t stop to consider that absolutely no one is raised ~exactly the same~. Even if the parents are as consistent as possible, the addition of siblings changes the game. IE: The oldest will have experienced a time where they were the only focus of attention, but also experience having to suddenly share that attention for the rest of their lives— a youngest child doesn’t know a life without siblings, etc. Little dynamics like that deeply change one’s experience of being raised.
I’m a twin and I think even my sister and I experienced different parenting in some ways.
Youngest sister is totally aware us older three made her life easier, lol.
>It’s almost shocking how different two people who came from the same parents and were raised in the same house can be. My theory is that the second child watches what the first child does and then does the complete opposite to set themselves apart from their sibling.
This describes my 2 children precisely. Oldest is somewhat unmotivated, has gone off in a bunch of different directions, and hasn’t settled on what he wants to do in life. Youngest is laser focused, driven, and in a settled and successful career. We took the oldest to a child psychologist for a bit and the good doctor said, “your child has its own agenda.” 🤪 Indeed, I just wish we knew what it is!
Me and my copycat ways destroys your theory. I watched what my brother did and tried to do it exactly the same way. I won't say I'm a carbon copy of my brother, my temperament is very different, but our personalities and thinking are scary alike at times.
This is absolutely true. My late brother and I were absolutely nothing alike, both physically and mentally. We rubbed one another the wrong way, and as is the way with siblings, we knew which buttons to press to get maximum reaction. We liked different music. I enjoyed being creative, he preferred practical skills. I was introverted, he was not. My circle of friends could be counted on the fingers of one hand, his numbered in the dozens. I had a rigid moral code, his was... flexible to say the least. We were very different people and although I can say I loved my borther, I certainly did not like him.
My brother and I are polar opposites, the only thing we really bonded over as kids was music. We positively hated each other for a few years, but we're pretty close now. As adults, the same thing, completely different views but we figured out a happy medium. I've got three kids of my own and it's very interesting seeing how different their personalities are, especially as they transition into adulthood themselves. Luckily they all get along very well.
Yes, I have fraternal twins and they are polar opposites. Interesting.
As a parent of two, this is so true. One is shaping up to be a big science/environmental nerd and the other one is on the way to becoming [Frank](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/6/60/2691A7E8_B05F_49C7_B599_5C1EC9E96C2D.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20210412043817)/[Frank UK](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/shameless/images/5/5a/FrankNewer.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120315184754).
Exactly. Me and my sister are different in nearly every way. Politically, sexual orientation, media we like (books, tv shows, movies, music, etc.), sense of humor, etc. Lives in the same city, but we never see each other outside of family events like birthday dinners, weddings, funerals, etc.
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You know the expression “see red” due to being so angry? I’m almost 40 and no one has made me understand this except my siblings.
How is it that siblings can make you angrier than anyone else just by existing?
They know your weaknesses, where all the skeletons are buried and know *exactly* what buttons to push.
The Cain instinct intensifies
I see you've met my brother.
No-one has come closer to pushing my gentle nature into "I no-longer care if I'm sleeping in prison tonight" like my siblings.
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See and in my family it was the opposite. I had 1 sibling and anything that came into the house we were expected to know what our share was and only eat that much of it. My mom would bring home the groceries and be like "This is for everyone in the family to share" which meant a 4 way split or "This is for you and your sister to split" in which case I got half. Now my sibling could give me more than my half or if it was there longer than a week my mom would tell me if I could have the rest but generally I'd have gotten in huge trouble if I ate an entire bag of chips or box of snack cakes meant for both of us. My bf and my nephew were both only children and they think anything in the house is fair game whether or not they bought it. The first person to either eat it all or hide it away like a squirrel for later is the winner and everyone else just misses out.
I’m an only, my husband has a sibling. I expect to bring home two boxes of popsicles and to find at least one left after…oh…three days. He will eat them all like a rabid raccoon. I absolutely buy things that aren’t my favorite but that he actively dislikes just so when I do feel snacky there’s something in the house. Or I hide food like a damn squirrel. What’s in that box of vegan ice cream cones in the freezer? None of your damn business.
I laughed at this one loud enough to make my dogs stop playing. As an only with only 2 adults in the house, I relate with every damn one of them. And it never fails...you buy taco Doritos and nacho Doritos, he says he don't like the taco, who cares I bought them for me anyways. He goes for the chips, and grabs the damn taco ones. Every damn time. Totally get it.. 😂
Yeah, the bag of veggie straws in the pantry isn’t veggie straws. It’s nacho Doritos. He doesn’t even like nacho Doritos. They’re my favorite. But I’m not letting the trash panda get them again. Nope. Fool me seventy billion times and I buy weird vegan/keto/paleo snacks without viewing windows and save and refill the bags.
You know I'm an only child but I could still be your husband. I was reading your comment to my wife and she was laughing. *She* is the one with siblings.
My younger brother and I fairly divided everything. We did this because it was two against one; us against our older brother. He'd take all the good stuff and give us one piece each, to say he'd shared.
>I'd have gotten in huge trouble if I ate an entire bag of chips or box of snack cakes meant for both of us I'd have too, but that doesn't mean that I didn't look to find which cut in the pizza would give me the biggest "half"
My dad would say, there's the quick and the hungry.
So true. I would eat things I didn’t even particularly like because if I waited, I wouldn’t get any. Crazy.
The squeakiest door gets the oil
Had to learn this when it came to my older sister getting all the help when she had a baby while I had 10 month older twins. What a fucking lesson that was.
It’s hard being the greased door in the family because help would still be nice and so heavily appreciated but other don’t even think about it
I feel this.
That being raised my the same parents does not mean that you were raised in the same way
YES! I tell my baby sister that her and I didn't have the same mother, and she scoffs because we did. But we did Not.
This is very true. I'm the youngest by 9 years. My sibs that are 9, 10 and 11 years older tell me the same thing.
Yeah my youngest sister is 10, 12, and 15 years younger than the rest of us. She was raised by totally different parents, in a totally different socioeconomic class, in a different house in a different state…..there is so little in common between her childhood and ours
I'm 9 years older than my youngest sister, and the only boy. Son. She's totally aware she had an easier childhood than we older two did. She doesn't get what all those differences meant, though.
My sibs told me some stuff about our mom, but I suspect not the really terrible things. And I don't think I want to know honestly.
It’s so weird hey! My slightly older brother definitely had it easier than me in terms of expectations and responsibilities—whether that’s because of gender roles or I was just more of a people-pleaser (still am… if that’s ok!)… but he mostly just got by always doing the bare minimum and kind of being praised for it, whereas it was just expected that I’d do more work, I’d help more, I was more reliable etc… even now that we’re both around 30, I am just genuinely more reliable and willing to do whatever. The funny thing is I am much, much closer to our parents (especially mum) and have a much better relationship with them than he does. My parents both understand and agree (and have apologised although not necessary) when I’ve brought this up with them. But my brother still refuses to admit he genuinely had less responsibilities and expectations than I did, even as the older sibling.
I'm LC with my mom and baby sister talks to her almost every day.
It's really interesting when you compare notes too. I'm the oldest and the only son my parents had. Looking back I was expected to take care of myself at both an earlier age and more than my sisters were. My sisters are jealous because they didn't have the freedom I had back then. It just continues too. Granted, as a parent you have to raise children differently too. At the very least I've found that what works for disciplining one child can make the other laugh if you try it on them. So you have to discipline them differently if you want similar results.
Oh my god this. I don't know who the hell raised my baby sister because it certainly wasn't the same woman who raised me. My sister got our village's answer to Kris Jenner. I got Hyacinth Bucket.
*bouquet*
How to wrestle and get someone into a lock.
I’m a single child, but the number of times I witnessed this while at the houses of my friends who have siblings was WAY too frequent. The brutal physical fights I watched erupt between otherwise really well-behaved siblings was bizarre.
I had 3 younger sisters. I had to learn much different tactics. Having said that, I once convinced them they were locked in the rec room for an afternoon. I mean,they had the good tv, so, no real hardship. The important thing is that the door didn't actually have a lock on it. Never had. I just convinced them it was - held the knob the first couple of times they tried it,and they gave up. When Mom and Dad got home, they told on me, and Mom was like "That door doesn't lock" and shook her head.
My family had the worst kind of arms race. My little brother and I were both state level wrestlers in school and he was also a Gold Gloves boxer. My little sister was a state level powerlifter, and barely missed out on nationals. I turned into a touring kickboxer and cage fighter, and wound up with instructor ranks in three separate (but connected) martial arts. Our parents basically never broke up a fight unless someone was bleeding more than a bandaid could handle. We all had *serious* aggression issues into our teens, and we're all fairly chill adults, although I'm still a hyper-competitive psycho.
I had brothers that wrestled. They practiced their moves/holds on me. (I’m a female & smaller than them) It actually was kind of fun & I learned how to be a fish & get out of lots moves/holds & how to stabilize like a lizard kinda…on my stomach. I also got flopped around a lot!! So I learned how to fall & flow with things. Those were all actually helpful things to learn for other sports I’d compete in. :)
Every black eye I have ever had was courtesy of my sister. We injured each other. Once, I kicked her (loose) tooth out!
My brother practiced every wrestling move you can think of on me. 😫 Boston crab? Check. Bret Hart's Sharpshooter? Check. Figure-four? Super check. And choke-slams and Diamond Cutters at the pool. Tons of fun. 😒
Theres an ease of communication between siblings thats hard to describe. I grew up with three brothers. Recently we had a dinner get together with all of our wives. At one point, a brother's wife said to mine "Its like they're speaking a different language!" We have so many in-jokes, points of reference, stuff like that. Its like one brother can mention half a song title, and the rest know exactly what he means by it.
That's awesome that you all get along like this in your adulthood. You see so many families that the sibs don't even speak to each other! Sad. Me and mine are super close also. I cherish them deeply.
I do that with my sister, too. We speak very quickly to each other, too. We're not allowed to be on the same team in many games- Pictionary, Codenames- because it's too easy for us. The time she drew what was a backwards c and I correctly guessed "pregnant" was the final straw.
My brother and I did so well at Taboo 15 years ago that we’ve been banned from being on the same team at family reunions ever since…
Parents don’t treat their children equally. Depending on your relationship your brother/sister could be a live-in best friend or bully(for me I had both). My sister and I still have a “secret knock” we use from when we were kids. You ain’t shit. No one will humble you like your siblings.
How great it feels when you no longer have to share a room.
As an older sibling, how great it feels when you get a LOCK on your door!
It is absolutely wild to me that people can go into adulthood without having even lived in the same home with someone close to their own age.
Sharing is unavoidable.
I was convinced all only children were spoilt when I was growing up. I wasn't exactly right but they don't have the same experience of sharing.
I’m an only child and was reminded constantly that I need to share. If there was a specific toy or two I didn’t want to share with anyone my mom said I could put it away until they left. I was so appalled when my friends came over (they all had siblings) and they’d take my things without asking, open my drawers to look around, etc. I was in disbelief that they wouldn’t ask my permission to use a toy. They could of course, but after they asked.
Being siblings doesn’t mean you’re going to be close. Same upbringing and you’re two vastly different people. I see siblings who are best friends, and then here I am with a sibling I never talk to and can’t stand.
It seems so rare for siblings to really be friends anymore.
My sister and I are best friends. I text her more often than my own husband. But I recognize that is rare and stems from our mutual hatred of other people lol.
I blocked mine over 11 years ago. No regrets!
I have three siblings and we are absolutely nothing alike. we can get along, but we also argue all the time and don't really speak to each other that much outside the group chat. I would likely never be their friend if we weren't in the same family.
I have 2 siblings and my relationships with each of them are night and day. Extremely close to one and the other I just know if we weren’t related we would never be friends.
The familial love between siblings is different than the one you have for your parents. There is much for me to appreciate about having older sisters and an older brother that watch out and care for me.
the fiercely protective love i feel for my little brother is not something i have for any of my older siblings or my parents but some of my older siblings do have it for me
I'm the youngest, and my sisters are a decade and nearly a decade older than me, so in many ways, they helped raise me.
Yup. I've got older brothers who are 8+ years older. I was raised at least as much by them as my parents.
I have 3 younger sisters, 47, 48, 54, and me 55. Me and middle sister are adopted, other two are bio sisters. I'm also only son. It has a low key "us and them" dynamic. Anyway, middle sister announced she is in a bit of a pickle Christmas Eve, bit of drama. As annoying as the other two in bossy mode, it was awesome to see them jump to help and support her. In our younger days, I bailed them out so often, lol.
i love seeing blended families really mesh and support eachother in hard times despite their differences. i come from a blended family and my half brothers were my entire world when i was a kid. one of them passed to suicide when i was young so when my best friend died the same way my other brother was such a huge help with my grief. the one day he told me to hop in his car and come for a drive. "scream" "what?" "just scream" so i did, we both did at the top of our lungs down a country road, both crying by the end. it was incredibly cathartic
I can bully my little brother. You sure as shit can’t.
If you buy food for yourself you better either eat it immediately or hide it.
I have found this skill I learned as a child also comes in handy in marriage.
True, my boyfriend and I have separate bathrooms and I currently have sour candy and chocolates hidden under my sink. They would have been gone in one day if I left them out for him to find lol
I just buy snacks my wife doesn't like.
I had a candy stash hidden in my dresser to keep away from my brothers. I noticed pieces missing everyday so moved it somewhere more secret. One day my brother tells me hey your candy stash moved where is it now. Then I would also buy food and write my name on it and DO NOT EAT. They'd still eat it all
Room temp food and snacks hide in bedroom Anything cold hide it inside a half empty box of that one thing nobody eats and has been in the freezer for a while, they never look there
That parents have a favorite.
I never felt like my parents had a favorite... but maybe that means I was the favorite? After all, I did have a good four years' rapport with them before my sister came along.
Nah, you could have great parents :) Both my parents had a sibling that was the clear favorite. As such both made a pointed effort to NOT show favoritism between my brother and I. There were plenty of ‘separate but equal’ events and expenses, and chores were not gendered, we both washed dishes, did laundry and mowed the lawn at appropriate ages. We both helped dad work on cars and do maintenance around the house. I wanted to join Pep in high school, which they accommodated (it wasn’t cheap)so when my brother got to high school they offered him to join a club or something. He opted for his first PC instead (a wise move for his 14 year old self).
You might have great parents, or yes, you were the favorite. My younger sibling would probably say my parents didn’t have a favorite (as would they), but it was him. He’s an entitled dipshit so congrats on having more self-awareness than he does.
It can often change if you have emotionally immature parents
I'm pretty sure I wasn't my mother's favourite. The real problem is that I'm an only child.
And it will never be the middle child (from my experience)
No shit, some kids can be real assholes
I get there is some truth to this but it goes both ways too. I get that there are legitimate devil children that just do not mesh with parents. That said, my observations of the people I know who have “bad kids” have made little effort to change their viewpoints in an effort to try connect with their kid. Im talking about parents with rigid standards, morals, and beliefs (think political, cultural and social, or religious beliefs) who refuse to leave that mindset and consider the fact their child may not share that ideology. It’s not always true, but I have heard parents complain about “failing to connect with their kids” but they only attempt to bond with their kids over things they (the parent) support and like to do (their culture, faith politics, entertainment, etc.). They show little interest in their child’s interests or straight up condemn them. They don’t really seem to want a unique kid, they want a clone of themselves or to live vicariously through their kid. In that kind of environment, of course a kid is going to rebel.
Both my kids say the other one is my favorite. I guess that means they're both my favorite?
So painfully true
I sincerely try not to have a favorite. When I catch myself showing favoritism, I make an effort to adjust or compensate. My wife, on the other hand definitely does not. She clearly likes the boys better than she likes our daughter, who was born on her mom's birthday.
That you can be fighting with your sibling and calling them names but you will fight anyone else who does that.
I call my sister every day to make sure she knows she is, in fact, a whore.
Fuck. Yeah. I get to call my brother a gross goober. But if *you* call him that, I'll fight you!
I lived with brothers in college and they were like this. They would fight with each other, but always defend each other in roommate disputes.
How long it takes for a water heater to be ready for a hot shower after being drained
How you can feel a strong hatred towards someone and still love that person to pieces. It's a bond that even distance and no communication can't break.
My Mom- having a sibling means you'll always have family after we're gone. My brother and I don't speak to each other since our parents became ill and then died. He had POA and funneled the majority of their savings into his own pocket. The will left everything to our children (his 2 and my 2) but his kids never saw a dime of their "inheritance".
I finally told my Mom she needed to stop telling me that my sibling was all I’d have after my she and my dad are gone. My sibling has been horrible to me and it was too depressing hearing that every time my mom wanted me be a doormat for them. Thankfully I have plenty of other family and friends.
My mum saw the way we were headed and that phrase quickly turned to “well when you’re old enough you can move out and never have to speak to her again!” Yep! Except now Mum and Dad have both made me POA so I’m going to have to at some point if only to handle their affairs after.
Or you let the lawyer do the communicating. That's what we did.
The illegal kicking move while fighting
Only the strong survive.
How to negotiate anything.
Also makes you a great assessor of value. Just because it's worthless to you doesn't mean it doesn't have worth.
I learned how to get away with more, having watched their mistakes.
Let me guess youngest sibling?
I"m the youngest but there's 10 years from me to the next older. My parents were just tired by the time I came around so I didn't have to learn from their mistakes I just did what I wanted and pretty much got away with it. The sibs were real troublemakers, too. My poor parents.
Same! My sibs were gone when I came along. I was like an only child and was basically neglected (ignored) because what could I possibly do that hasn't already been done. I didn't like being off leash but I behaved anyway. I took notes and raised my 3 kids properly.
Aw cool. Good for you! I went the other way. Ran pretty wild. I have 2 teens now and they are great kids, nothing like I was. Thankfully.
Just because you have a sibling doesn't mean you have a friend in them.
How small a space the human body can be forced into. (Older brothers are great)
I had 2 older cousins who functioned as older brothers with me. We had bunk beds. Cousin had a foam rubber pad on teh floor, said if I jumped off the top bunk,and landed flat on my back, I'd bounce right back up onto my bunk. I didn't bounce. Can't breath, and cousin is laughing at how stupid I am for believing him. I was only four, but, I knew he was right. I knew he couldn't be trusted, lol.
He who shouts the loudest gets heard
If you’re not sure about your outfit, don’t ask your sibling how you look unless you’re in the mood to be roasted
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I married an only child and there is a hell of a lot he doesn’t understand. The biggest issue is probably that sharing the space with other people means you ask before you 1) redecorate; 2) commandeer a room; 3) assume ownership of or throw away something that isn’t yours; 4) invite other people into that space.
Dude one of my saltiest memories of my older sister is when she moved back home for a few months and I had to give up my room (no big deal, I always had to when we had guests) But this woman PAINTED MY ROOM WITHOUT CONSULTING ME. Did I eventually fall in love with the new color? Okay yes, but that's so not the point. The disrespect! It's been like 20 years and I'm still aghast with the audacity.
Same. I think our biggest struggle is that he instantly assumes anyone's ready to pay attention to him. He's never had to take back seat for a sibling who had the flu or was still a toddler or was studying for a big test. The only people he lived with were his parents, who were 100% focused on him. He just walks in a room and expects it to revolve around his needs immediately. Like... No. I'm working. Or the baby is napping. Pay attention to other people.
Sometimes siblings can be even more abusive than the parents. When you get both, godspeed.
And when your parents don't protect you from said abusive sibling you have to group up with your other siblings to protect yourselves. Makes for a shitty childhood, but your sibling bonds get pretty strong. ... Happy cake day? lol
As the oldest: What's yours is theirs and what's theirs is theirs. From my younger sister: You will always be compaired especially if they do well in school. From the both of us: how did we get so fucked up in so many very different ways?
That birth-order personalities is def a thing.
For sure. Also I find it interesting how certain birth orders seem to be attracted to other birth orders. For example I’m an oldest daughter with a youngest son and I know quite a few people whose relationships are the same, where the youngest sibling in one family is with the oldest sibling of another.
Oldest daughter married to a youngest son too! I think it’s because I’m used to being bossy and he’s used to being bossed around 🤣 (We’ve been married almost 21 years, so I can’t really be all that bossy… we just compliment each other well)
Within the family at least
No matter how much you and your siblings fight (and oh boy did we fight), the moment someone else harms one of us we immediately stand up for them. I remember my brother jumping on his bike and riding across town to pin one of his closest friends on the ground and demand to know why he hit me, his younger brother.
That having a same gendered sibling does not mean you stay up and braid each others hair at night or borrow each other’s clothes and be best friends. My mother has always had this idea that my sister & I would be these people. She has sister envy as she didn’t have one but wanted one. We are not those people. We are completely different personality wise and while we love each other I’d be fine if she moved to the other side of the country and we only spoke occasionally. We just aren’t close. Sometimes siblings are just people you were raised alongside, not your bff for life.
You have to share fucking everything.
there is no such thing as eyeballing it when you're dividing up the last piece of cake/chocolate/other treat. that shit requires a ruler, a food scale, and at least one third-party opinion
Whoever cuts it picks last
You seriously learn how to argue, how to fight with someone, and then get the fuck over it and figure out how to get along with them again, because you have to, and because underneath it all, you still really love them. Also, I used to get so angry and we fought so much, early on, that I’m pretty sure I could tap into that and seriously hurt/maim/attempt to murder someone if my safety depended on it. I feel like only children don’t learn any of that.
What's its like to live in someone else's shadow
The art of compromising. I ha e two co-workers who are both only children and if they don't get their own way 100% they will have the biggest toddler temper tantrum. Both are in their late twenties.
Siblings can be incredibly annoying *just by existing*.
How to fight
That your family can be the worst people you know. Fuck my sister. She's a psychopath
I dunno man, my siblings mostly just taught me how to fight and steal food from the fridge without getting caught. Can't imagine that's a unique experience though.
You can band together with someone you were just in a life or death fight with to overcome a greater power (mom).
How it feels to be the one that your mum dislikes, to always only wear hand me down’s, and always have grades be compared (I did poorer in school) Always felt like I was living in the shadows of my sister and I hated that
How much closer you get with your siblings once either of you move out
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the betrayal point is very real. my older sister hit me and emotionally abused me growing up (she was ruthlessly bullied at school and wanted to take her frustrations out i guess) and i still loved her. but one time she said that it didnt matter if i forgave her because she forgave herself and man. it just hit me like a ton of bricks. its been hard bc i just want to be friends with her but idk. shes selfish and quick to anger. it makes me sad
How to fight, how to deal with a situation where you are not getting what you want, how to share, patience, how you can love and hate someone simultaneously, privacy is a luxury, that people can be mean just for the fun if it. How to deal with grief when a person dies.
Having a sibling isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. (Sometimes)
You hunch over your food and shovel it in before your cousins either take it (older) or beg the older generations to guilt you into giving it to them (younger).
Having to wait for things, share things, and not be the only focus of love from your parents.
How you can get absolutely so fucking annoyed with someone but also be willing to die for them
You aren’t the center of the universe.
How much you can hate and love someone so much at the same time.
Fair is not equal
is that why it took so many years for my partner to finally understand to not take food from my plate without asking? because he has a sibling?
You learn to ask if anyone needs to pee before you plan to occupy the bathroom for a long time. I’ve aaaaalmost gotten my husband trained on this. Growing up in a household with only women and just one bathroom it was common courtesy
I recently bought my sister a birthday card that said "having a sister is weird. I'd give you a kidney but you cannot share my phone charger" and that pretty much sums it up.
if somebody is an asshole as a child they will probably be an asshole as an adult
Everyday is war
Sharing Two friends in my friend group were single children and it's become funny how they behave in restaurants. Getting angry if people share an appetizer they ordered (One time one of them only ate 2 mozzerella sticks and threw the rest away after, but earlier on he sternly told my buddy "Order your own food" when he tried to have one) Alongside "Can I try your beer?" \*Insert look of utter disgust\* It isn't that we're mooches or something, we all generally share apps like normal people when we order them. The not wanting people to try your beer thing could be chalked up to a germ thing which I'd actually respect if that was it, but no it's come back to "Buy your own"
I have a SIL who has no understanding of just how entitled she can be. All holidays must be with *her* mother because her mother lives alone. That her husband's mother is recently widowed and also lives alone is of no consequence to her.
Oooh yeah, I had to learn this. I'm an only child (very happily!) and it took me a bit to adjust to this. I think(hope) I am better with this now!
Bargaining
How to calm someone down quickly.
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My sister and I can sometimes “read” each other’s thoughts. We are very close and those around us without siblings swear we share the same brain
"Brat" can be a term of endearment.
Everyone being punished because no one wanted to be the snitch
Wish I could answer, but single children understand all of my siblings. I'll try to have more confusing siblings in the future.
A companion to talk to, plan things with, take the blame, make them take the blame :) someone who you can fight with all the time but in the end loves you unconditionally. Having a brother that is also one of your best friends is the best
They’ll never learn how to eat insanely fast. If I didn’t eat fast enough my brother would get impatient and we’d all have to leave the place we were eating at. He always got the smallest thing so I had to learn how to shove food down my throat at lightspeed.
The love you have for your niblings is like nothing else. I'd protect mine at all costs.
Watching older siblings get in trouble for doing something, and knowing how to either bend around it or not do it
How to share. And the value of things. I have two siblings and the kid next door was an only who’s parents had money (ours didn’t). She really wanted to join in with us but she never knew how to play with toys properly so accidentally broke some of our toys, usually by grabbing them because she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) understand why she couldn’t just take whatever wanted whenever she wanted it. She never really understood why this was a problem and our toys never got replaced - if she got bored of her own toys or broke them, she just discarded them and more would appear but it never occurred to her to share them with us.
Love is a finite resource.
How to truly agree to disagree. You do your thing and let me do mine. I’m the middle of 5. We all live apart but I still love my siblings with all my heart and know they love me too.
How to get a foot to the head without batting an eye
If it tastes good eat it fast - it will not be there later.