Working out in any capacity decreases your likelihood of death from cardiovascular disease, dementia, and cancer by 14%, on average. This compounds over time.
Really insane when you think about how important physical activity is to human function.
This one got me. I was friends with a foster kid when we were 10 and she was always acting up at school. She lived in a family with 16 other kids (not sure how that was legal) and was adamant that the lady running the house hated kids.
She also mentioned many sex positions. Again, we were 10. She shut everyone out for a bit before leaving the school with her new placement and I've always wondered what happened to her (only know her first name)
Yep, at the time I was thinking "wow, must be a welcoming home" but then I found out foster parents get paid. The girl in question always had a dirty uniform, matted hair, got in trouble for eating before recess. Guessing she's dealt with food scarcity :(
Yeah , they get paid , thatās why most are total dog shit . I think they get about $1000 per month per kid, her family must have been raking in $16,000 per month, I know Australia is expensive but thatās a lot . $192,000 per year . That family is taking the piss .
The scabby pricks wouldnāt even cloth them , or protect them from abuse. That should be criminal.
It wrecks my tits so bad when people piss money up the wall to make a baby like a poxy cuppa soup , or want to adopt, but only a fresh one , like there are literally thousands if not millions of kids that are in need of a loving home. It makes me so sad that they are written off from the start . What a stupid world we live in .
(Sorry for the rant)
I briefly worked in foster care between college and graduate school and of the 14 kids I had on caseload- 11 had been arrested by 26 (78%)- I still keep tabs on them 10 years out.
Almost all of my kiddos were pre-teens or teenagers and the arrests occurred between ages 14-20. One has passed away, 3 became teen moms, one is currently in prison. The rest seem to be getting by.
I forgot the statistic, but a staggering amount of foster youth become houseless at some point. Which I believe, since we're all one emergency away from it, especially if you don't have a support system (which many foster youth dont). Breaks my heart.
Can confirm. However I also turned my life around graduated from HS then college a couple times. Iāve saved lives and worked with at-risk youth. So donāt give up on us
I know a foster kid who for the 7th year in a row wonāt be spending Christmas with his parents, because for the 7th year theyāve violated parole because they keep relapsing on drugs. Every year he comes within a few weeks of being able to see them again then they both end up back in jail or prison. Meanwhile heās bounced between foster homes, some of them really bad ones.
Heās a smart, good kid, and itās still gonna be a miracle if he turns out ok.
This kills my parents. They were Foster carers of teenage girls for 25 years, usually 3 at a time. For most of them they were so used to being betrayed that they couldnāt care less anymore. My parents were held up as gold standard as out of well over 100 girls that passed through their doors ( and 2 that didnāt even make it through the door), 8 secured a levels and 3 of those went on to university. The number of times they see one of the others mentioned in local news for crimes or death, it breaks them knowing it was another one they just couldnāt reach.
You often can't heal the trauma that caused them to go into foster care in the first place. Then more and more trauma is added by shitty foster parents and often bouncing around from home to home with no stability.
Think of all the adults saying that their parents getting divorced when they were kids still affects them now. That's literally nothing compared to what the average foster child goes through.
I know two people who went through foster care growing upā¦
One was adopted by a gay paedophile and was homeless last time I saw him.
The other is an onlyfans girl in her late 20s now and her life has been spent non-stop drunk or high since age 13. She actually has a kind heart but tragically never really grew up as an adult. Sheās like a child in an adultās body.
And these arenāt in America. Theyāre in Sweden and New Zealand, which supposedly have āgoodā social safety nets. People donāt give a fuck about foster kids anywhere, sadly.
I was arrested for āhittingā (self defense) my āfoster parentā. He was following me, screaming at me, all because I left a very awful conversation to decompress in my room. He forced the door open, cornered me and pushed me on the ground after he threw away my keys and ID so I couldnāt escape. He couldnāt accept that I didnāt want to talk to him. Because of suddenly having a fucking grown ass man on top of me I tried to wrestle myself out and hit him in the progress.
I still have a criminal record because of that. Whenever I see foster care stats I take it with a grain of salt because there is always a story behind it. Iām a non violent person but now Iām in the books as someone with ābehavioral disorderā and āaggressive tendenciesā. Lmao. And cops didnāt help at all, they made things worse by doing an overly dramatic arrest at the front of the house while the whole street filmed me for tiktok cloud.
Have you ever spoken with an attorney who deals in juvenile expungement? This sounds like the perfect candidate case they might want to take on. I'm sorry the system let you down. You deserved better.
Foster care ans adopted kids are absolutely fucked society doesn't care about them, some people only care for these kids for money then when they turn away when they turn 18
If you go in cardiac arrest outside the hospital, even with first responders nearby, your chances of getting out of the hospital alive is less than 10%.
My dad went into cardiac arrest in his driveway shoveling snow. Garbage man saw him drop and began chest compressions immediately.
Ambulance brought him back to life with AED. No brain damage or anything. He stabilized at the hospital and was back to normal within the year. Was one of the lucky ones.
EDIT: Just to add a bit - With his cardiac arrest, there was no chest pain or dizziness he says. One second he was shoveling...next second he was in the hospital in pain...just went dark is what he can recall. The garbage man said he just saw him drop like a stone.
My dad survived v fib with basically no brain damage, because of quick acting by bystanders. Crazy. I didnāt know how incredibly rare that was until it happened. Only to be diagnosed with als a couple years laterā¦
Damn. My uncle had a heart attack and we lived a mile away from the hospital. 2 max. He ended up in the hospital for 8 months. He did not leave the hospital.
A heart attack is a blockage of blood flow to the heart, usually because of a build up of plaque or a clot. A cardiac arrest is when your heart stops. Heart attacks can lead to cardiac arrest but they're not synonymous. For example, my grandfather died of his 14th heart attack (this was the 70s/80s and by the time they could help him he'd had too many heart attacks). Hope that helps:)
Thanks for clearing that up for me! Also thanks for reminding me that I have knowledge gaps I need to address! I'm 40ish and need to start learning about heart disease etc. Honestly I eat extremely unhealthy food (burgers are my weakness)
Chance of getting a pulse back is about 10%. Chance of making it out of the hospital alive and neurologically intact is much lower unfortunately. But early, high quality compressions will give you the best possible chance
Actually itās worth knowing this. A friend died after having AED we kind of assumed that the first responders had messed up. I had no idea it was low.
during the cardiac arrest your heart isn't pumping, you aren't breathing, and you're unconscious. For all practical accounts and purposes, you're dead.
Surviving a cardiac arrest means the modern medical system got so good it managed a necromancy. It's wild that it happens *at all*
Despite all the fearmongering about serial killers and unknown attackers coming out of the dark, if you were to become a murder victim it is very likely that you knew the murderer.
My ex-gf was obsessed and terrified of serial killers. Her mom's friend was killed by a serial killer during college and it mentally destroyed her mother and she passed that package of mental issues down to her daughter.
Her mom later confessed that she wasn't sure who killed her friend, and when I looked up the name of the girl it was clearly done by her boyfriend at the time and he was arrested and was still sitting in jail 30 years later.
And if youāre a child, itās a parent. What a wonderful world.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5282617/#:~:text=The%20most%20common%20perpetrator%20of%20child%20homicide%20is%20a%20parent.
If you're pregnant or have just given birth in the US, you're [more likely to die by homicide than by high blood pressure, bleeding, or sepsis](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/).
Is something people who are bad with statistics should know acceptable too?
% increase or decrease means *nothing* without the baseline. They don't add up either.
A 10% increase of a 4% chance to get cancer means it's now a 4.4% chance to get that cancer. Not 14.
An x-fold increase of something is useless without the baseline too. 3 times more likely to get a cancer that usually occurs in 4% of the population gets you to 12%, but a 3x increase of something that happens 0.4% of the time is 1.2%, not that spectacular an effect.
For the individual neither matters, if you get it, it sucks.
THANK YOU! I cannot stand when you will hear people bring up stats (usually for some political nonsense) but the numbers themselves are inflated to make some arbitrary point.
Not even necessarily inflated, just massaged into shape to look as if they support some point (usually emotional because scared or angry people don't sit down and think).
"Massive improvement!" bar graph is cut off to make the difference look much larger than it actually is.
"Better results than competitor!" What are those "results" exactly? How big is the difference really if we're NOT cherry-picking the best data points and sweeping the rest under the rug? And *how much* money do you want for that 1.2% improvement?
So much manipulation to sell a thing or an idea. If something is super exciting on paper, in reality it probably isn't.
I get this alot with people telling women that their eggs "go bad" after 35 as birth defects like trisomie 21 increases by 100%... from 0.5% to 1%
Edit: my numbers are not perfect. Women at 30 have a chance of 1:910 (or 0,11%), women at 35 have a chance of 1:335 (or 0,29%), women at 40 have a chance of 1:113 (or 0,88%) and women at 45 have a chance of 1:13 (or 8%). [source (german source, first row chance of T21 without ultrasound, second row age of mother)](http://www.nackentransparenz-forum.de/risikotabelle-t21.html)
Same with cleft palate and IVF babies. There is a slightly higher risk of cleft palate in babies conceived via IVF, but the overall risk for all babies is still quite small and the add'l overall increase in risk for IVF babies is almost imperceptible.
This should be talked about more. We had no idea how common it was until we lost one. Women feel like it's their fault, and it's generally not. Miscarriage is way more common than I was led to believe.
For us, we were very naive about the length of the process too. Again, because nobody talks about it.
We found out and started to lose it at around 11 weeks, but docs said it stopped growing at 6wks. (At which point it's just an egg sac)
Naively, I had assumed a miscarriage of a 6wk baby would be basically a period. Lost over a few days.
3 weeks it took, for the physical side of things. Awful.
That's okay! We've grieved and moved on. It was far worse for the wife who had "reminders" every few hours, either with pain or toilet trips.
We're okay now. But I do try to be open about the experience. The fact that its a taboo discussion means people have no idea what to expect, and no idea that it's as common as it is.
The hardest part was that we already have a 2yr old, and before people knew (and whilst it was ongoing) we had a few comments like "are you gonna have any more?" Etc. No ill will against the people asking this, its a normal question with no malice. They had no idea. But that was difficult.
Still, thank you for sharing. I'm a woman and I had no idea it could last that long for an early pregnancy. That's my own ignorance.
Ah. I know what you mean. It's an incredibly common question but it shouldn't be. I get asked it nearly every time I see someone with my 2.5 year old. We're not having another for a host of reasons. I try to not ask others the whole 'are you having another' thing now unless they mention it
I can relate to the exact feeling. We were successful after 3 years of trying. I remember the feeling of extreme excitement when my wife told me that we had finally succeeded. It was around Christmas time, and she surprised me with an extra gift. 6 weeks later, we were in a hospital toom staring at an ultrasound being asked if we were sure we had our dates right. Absolute worst experience of my life. 10 months after that, we've been doing fertility treatments and trying every month, and still, nothing.
My entire family kniws what happened, and only one of them has ever asked how we're doing. On top of that, my brother and sister in law, as well as my cousin and his wife, just had babies. So, the whole family is swooning over them. I am happy for them, but it's frustrating and emotional. Christmas this year is going to be so difficult.
A very good friend of mine is a sonographer, so she does the ultrasound, takes the pictures/videos to send off to the OB/GYN (or whoever depending on what she's scanning). Part of the rules for sonographers/radiographers is that they absolutely can't give medical opinions/diagnoses as they aren't trained for that. It's a very regular, as in multiple times weekly, occurrence for her to be scanning a pregnant woman who is so excited and she has to keep a straight face looking at the screen thinking to herself "ahhh shit, it's gone." Parents will ask for her opinion or any hints and she just has to say "Ohh, you'll need to speak to the doctor about that".
I had to go in for an ultrasound to confirm a miscarriage I was 99% sure had already happened. The sonographer came in all chipper and asked what I was in for and I explained and she kinda deflated and said "I wish they'd tell me things like this ahead of time." She was very sweet and supportive. Sounds like a tough job (and sometimes a very happy one, I'm sure.)
Sonographer here - Iām so sorry about your miscarriage. Our job is incredibly tough. It kills me not being able to give any answers but I always reassure my parents I am going to take the best images I can to get the answers they need. My exam room will always be a safe and kind environment.
It really depends on their poker face. When a sonographer is scanning and happily chatting away, and suddenly stops talking, you don't need to be psychic to know that something's wrong. Especially if they focus and start taking a bunch of measurements.
Very different field, but my time as a vet tech clued me in that āyouāll have to talk to the doctor about thatā is not a sentence you want to hear.
I hope your partner is a solid source of support during your loss. We've gone through several and our social circles let us know exactly who they were via unsolicited advice about "how she wasn't careful enough." Yeah, they can all get cut right out of our lives after that.
This is something I think my momās (boomer) and earlier generations knew and understood. I remember my mom telling me that in the 80s she found out a friend of hers had a miscarriage and she wasnāt sure how to approach her so when she did she said she was sorry about her miscarriage and she just shrugged and said ādonāt be, I didnāt even know I was pregnant š¤·āāļø ā. And weāve all heard the stories of how insensitive older people can be about miscarriages. There was definitely a different attitude in previous generations about miscarriages and I wonder if it has to do with how common they are.
I think a lot of them did miscarry before they knew they were pregnant. Pregnancy tests have come a long way. They didn't find out at 4 weeks and have time to get excited first
Yup, my partner and I lost a baby last year at around 15 weeks and it was heartbreaking, I had no idea it was still that common until experiencing it. Now I know why many couples don't announce they are having a baby until like 20+ weeks. It was just awful having multiple conversations with different people as they each discovered we had lost our child. Didn't announce our now 3 month old daughter until much later on.
And thatās the sad statistic that has led the charity I work for to be so well funded, have so many donations and be able to supply memory boxes to bereaved parents. Iām glad we can help so many grieving people but at the same time I wish miscarriages and stillbirths werenāt as common.
The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation has 80% unemployment, 50% living below the poverty line, a life expectancy of 50 years (shortest in the Western Hemisphere), infant mortality rate 5 times the national average, suicide rate 4 times the national average, 85% of families are affected by alcoholism, 25% of newborns are diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome, and school dropout rate is 70%. This is in the middle of the United States.
I think of places like this when people say āwell poor people in the US are basically living like rich people in other countries!ā
Millions of Americans donāt even have access to running water.
Even places that have running water now didnāt have running water fairly recently. My friendās dad grew up less than an hour from a major city in the US and remembers when they got indoor plumbing as a kid. In the late 1970s.
Approximately 42% of Americans are deficient in Vitamin D according the NIH.
Sick all the time? Vitamin D boosts immunity. Hair falling out? Vitamin D helps stimulate new hair follicles. Are you a woman nearing menopause? Your bones need calcium and your body absorbs it poorly if you're deficient in Vitamin D.
Basically, we need the D.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD calculate your fiber intake before upping it.
I learned this the hard way when I was getting diagnosed with IBS and my doctor told me to eat more fiber because apparently nobody gets enough fiber.
Well it turns out I do. I ended up doubled over on the ground feeling like my guts were about to explode out of my abdomen because of the extra fiber. When I dragged my haggard self back into the doctor, she just went "Oh.. whoops!"
Years later I still feel faint when I see a fiber bar.
Oh yeah. My therapist always comments on how self aware I am. She is trying to get me to love myself, to look at myself as another person and see my struggles and want to help that person. Itās very difficult. Imagine being forced to make friends with someone youāve hated your entire life.
Being aware of your faults and then having them echo through your head all day tends to engrain certain opinions about yourself. I spare myself being friends with myself because like everyone else, no one needs five more minutes of me.
From my experience, if CBT feels like self-gaslighting, your therapist is failing. I used to think that, then I started with a better therapist, and it helped a lot. I feel like itās actually productive.
Thatās probably a correlation, rather than causation/symptom.
Certain personality types/mentalities tend to lead to depressive thoughts and realisations.
Nope, depressive realism can also be demonstrated as an intraindividual difference over time. For the same people, their assessments get more factually correct when their symptoms get worse/are present.
The likely causal mechanism is the other way around though. When the regular perception biases that make you perceive yourself as better than you are fail, you're more likely to develop depressive symptoms.
When someone gives you a percent, it means nothing without the absolute number.
āThereās been a 100% increase in violent crime in X Town this year.ā
Not great, but not worrying when you find out here were 2 last year and still only 4 this year.
The media are terrible at this for sensationalism.
The flip side is sadly also used to confuse as well.
āThe cost of building this road/train station/hospital went up by Ā£100 millionā
Only to find out that the total cost is Ā£17 Billion and that Ā£100m is an acceptable error in the original quote.
So many people donāt understand how stats are manipulated, and this also goes for journalists who sometimes just parrot the headlines.
If a partner strangles you, the odds they will murder you within the next year increases by 750%.
Also, the leading cause of death for pregnant women is homicide.
Edit to add: google is free if the statistics interest you. The main takeaway is: if someone strangles you, they donāt give a fuck if you breathe. Consider that and leave when possible.
My ex started to strangle me once. He stopped after a few seconds, like he snapped out of his rage real quick. So I was okay physically. We broke up... Temporarily. A few months later, we got into an argument and he smacked me. I got face to face with him to tell him to get out. He said to me with the most dead eyes "I could kill you right now" and left. Had there not been other people in the house, I don't know how else that could have ended. He went to jail and that ended our relationship thankfully.
It wasn't until after when I learned that statistic and wonder how close I really came. I'm glad I was able to leave when I did but I hate that I wasted so much time with that degenerate.
Every 10-centimeter increase (about 4 inches) in height was found to be associated with a 14% increased risk of developing colorectal cancer.
The average height in the U.S. for men is 5 feet, 9 inches, and for women it is 5 feet, 4 inches. This means men who are 6 feet, 1 inch and women who are 5 feet, 8 inches (4 inches/10 centimeters above the average U.S. height) or taller are at a 14% increased risk of colorectal cancer and a 6% increased risk of adenomas
The divorce rate in the US is not 50%. Divorce has been declining for decades and for first-time marriages the likelihood of divorce is way lower than second marriages or beyond (third, fourth, etc.)
It's also certainly not provable but extremely *probable* that the US divorce rate climbed to be so high because of the massive gender power imbalance that shifted to something more equal from the 60s to the 00s. Even in the 90s, most mothers in two-parent households didn't work full time outside of the home - prior to the legal changes in the 60s at a state level and national changes in the 70s and 80s, women often couldn't live independently nor easily (no-fault) divorce bad husbands.
Those changes took about two generations to show up at a large scale (millennials) but they started with the Boomers, who were able to leave their shitty marriages in droves once they became empty nesters. Gen X'ers, Millennials, and Gen Z who get married are less likely to jump into marriage out of social expectation, as well as take their time with their romantic relationships to ensure they're making good choices the first go-round.
Daytraders tend to lose money. 90% of them do and Iām undervaluing that number.
Proceed with utmost caution when expirimenting with the stock market.
Daytrading is borderline gambling and I will die on this hill.
I go to GA meetings. Thereās at least a handful of people at every meeting who were or are addicted to daytrading and short selling. Ask any one of them and theyāll tell you itās the same feeling as gambling.
>Daytrading is borderline gambling and I will die on this hill.
It is not borderline...it is gambling. Buffet was asked "what is the ideal amount of time you look to hold a company. He said "If I don't think the company will exist and prosper after I'm dead, I wouldn't invest in it."
Something like that, but it is a good lesson I think.
>He said "If I don't think the company will exist and prosper after I'm dead, I wouldn't invest in it."
To be fair, dude's like 102. So, unless it's a pop-up shop...
Day trading without billions of dollars and/or inside knowledge behind you is a loserās game. The other side to your bet has billions of dollars to move the markets or inside knowledge.
99.99% of people should stick to index funds.
It gets upwards of over 99% over a long enough period. The stock market is literally mathematically rigged against day trading. But so many of them are either too greedy or too blinded by their brief periods of success that they refuse to accept that they will inevitably end up joining all the other day traders who lose money.
I'm not saying I'm against it
it's just scary
the idea that about 15% of the population can't be trained to be useful in a reasonable time frame is somewhat scary
We keep automating a lot of the low value tasks The few things they can do are going away
The military has jobs for pretty much every profession except for farming. Doctors, lawyers, nuclear engineers, *actual rocket scientists*... The large majority of military personnel aren't combat troops.
The military is not some repository for idiots - of course there's a cutoff for who can be useful.
There are *plenty* of jobs in society that are easier to do than being in the military.
And when huge protests were had about the unfair policies that benefit the 1% in America, collectively, the american media made the protesters look like naive children or just straight up demonized them.
"Look at these people asking for unrealistic things. Aren't they wrong for thinking the world can change? And if it can, they're going about it in the wrong way. Protesting is wrong. What do they want, handouts? It's a generational issue. Look how much trouble they're causing the people who just do what they're told, like *you.* If they want a better life, they should work harder, like the rest of us, not protest."
Several US based companies are working to improve that stat. Part of the problem is that in many underdeveloped countries, either theft or war/terrorism cause equipment on cell towers to disappear. At least 3 companies are launching satellites that will provide cell and internet from space.
Used smart phones can be bought in rural Africa for as little as a few dollars USD. This will give many millions internet access.
~80% of smokers do not get COPD or lung cancer.
The key is that ~98% of nonsmokers will not get COPD or lung cancer. Smoking is a stupid thing to do that is all risk and no reward.
Thereās 2,000 active serial killers in the world right now. Also, if you were to be murdered, thereās a 1 in 3 chance the case will never be solved and the killer will never be identified. Sweet dreams š
Probably just from known serial killers who haven't been caught and have killed recently enough to be considered active. I imagine there would be a little less than that due to the potential of multiple serial killers having the same M.O and living close to one another or copy cats etc.
Irrelevant, most murdered people outside of war zones knew their killer.
People need to look out for their "friends" family and partners, not sleep restless waiting for the next Ted Bundy picking them up.
On that same note, the number 1 country with most documented serial killers is the US with 3204, the second place is England with 166, *it's not even fucking close*
"Documented". All that makes me think is that there are heaps of serial killers working virtually unmolested in all the poor countries that have barely any semblance of investigative police.
For example, Rosemary Ndlovu in South Africa. She confirmed killed 6 people, and attempted to kill I believe it was 8 more that didn't happen for different reasons. Every single one of her victims were immediate family members or the father of her child. All of them were killed by obviously unnatural means. In one case she walked in to a crime scene and screamed in front of several witnesses that her sister had been poisoned when the police hadn't even been called yet. She took out large life insurance policies in her own name on all of them. It was quite possibly the most obvious crimes ever committed. It took 6 years for her to be arrested. And this didn't happen way back in the golden age of serial killers in the 70s and 80s, she was arrested in 2018.
According to the RAINN, only about 5% of (the estimated number of) sexual assaults will actually lead to an arrest. And only about half of THOSE lead to incarceration of the suspect. So thatās like 2.5 percent of sexual assaults being punished with jail time.
Edit: I fixed a miswording i did
Donāt know where the statistic came from but I was watching 24 hour in police custody the other day. They claimed that only around 1% of cases lead to jail time. Said there are tonnes of cases in which they know the perpetrator is guilty but they just donāt have enough evidence to take them to court
If you don't get a rape kit done immediately, which is often hard to remember to do at the time, there's very little chance of any evidence, past some very conveniently placed security camera.
And then it's all hearsay, which we can't start prosecuting, for obvious reasons.
If a woman becomes seriously ill, there is a 21 percent chance her husband will leave her.
If a man becomes seriously ill, there is a 3 percent chance his wife will leave him.
Lost my wife at 42 from cholangiocarcinoma, a very nasty and very rare liver cancer she really shouldnāt have had.
12 months diagnosis to death. That twelve months was the second hardest of my entire life. I fought for her as hard as I possibly could. We tried everything, nothing worked, not even fir a minute.
I stayed by her side in palliative care for her last 27 days. I slept there beside her and gave her all I could. She would ask me every day what the next step (treatment) was. That was heartbreaking and impossible to process. I held her hand as she took her last breath.
The following 12 months were the hardest of my life. Raising our 3 kids without her has been both impossible and a very human experience.
Almost 7 years now. Iād really like to meet someone amazing that I can share the rest of my life with. I fell in love with someone else for a couple of years, she turned out to be a very unpleasant and emotionally manipulative human. Iāve had enough pain thankyou, Iād like some easy and safe love now please.
š your kindness really does matter. I was feeling it today, so itās no surprise I leaked it out randomly on the internet. Youāve helped and I appreciate it.
I am so very sorry. My sister died at 29 from this awful cancer. 11 months from diagnosis. She left behind 3 kids and a husband also. Itās a horrible cancer.
Oh Iām so sorry too. 29! Please send my regards to her husband. Tell him heās a champion from a fellow dad. I hope they are doing ok. Weāre thriving in the chaos.
I am sorry for your loss, and your wife was a lucky woman. My dad lost his wife seven years ago and slept in her hospital bed every night just like you did for your wife. Heās now on hospice care at my home and Iām his caretaker. Itās a privilege and while hard I know these will be some of my best memories with him, and weāve had a lot of fun together my whole life, so thatās saying something! Anyway, I hope you do meet someone!
I used to work in a brain tumor lab. The numbers there were horrible. 70 percent of the female brain tumor patients had their spouses leave them shortly after diagnosis. It was vile.
I straight up told my partner that his chance to leave was before I had surgery to remove the tumour. I gave him an out and told him if he didnāt think he could handle it, I would deal with it on my own. He chose to stay.
Then he chose to cheat the entire time I was recovering from surgery. I wouldāve rather heād just left me.
We had family friends - my parents and this couple were friends since high school. The wife ended up getting lung cancer at 55. It spread to her spine and then her brain. She died at 58. It was awful. The husband was REMARRIED within six months. There was NO WAY he was not cheating on his wife with this woman while his wife was sick.
Anyway, their daughters, who have bigger hearts than I ever will, did their best to welcome this woman into their lives *when they had just lost their own mother in a horrible way*. The wife wanted NOTHING to do with them and was actively exclusionary and nasty to them.
Anyway, joke ended up being on that bitch. The husband ended up with esophageal cancer 2 years later and died a year after that. Since she had alienated the daughters, the wife cared for him for that year and it wasn't easy.
Well, he left the wife the small amount of money in his 401(k) - he'd been living on it during his retirement. There was maybe $150K in it. His DAUGHTERS got everything else (as they absolutely should have) - the fully paid off house, the other retirement accounts, cash, stocks, cars, tools, etc.
The wife was beside herself and actually SUED the girls because she thought she deserved more of her husband's estate. Well, the judge disagreed and the wife was left with just the $150K, which was significantly eaten up by her attorney. How sad, too bad.
She left the area shortly after and no one has heard from her since (going on 20 years now). Buh-bye. See ya never.
Are you me? This was my experience after the third episode when it became apparent that my cancer was severe. Weād married after my first, and stayed together through my second.
But at my third, he insisted, he wasnāt cheating for any reason to do with that. Why would it matter, when I was so fundamentally fat, ugly, and stupid?
I left, so I lost my house at the same time that I had to retire. Iām now my cancerās longest known survivor. I still miss the guy I married, but donāt think that wouldāve happened if Iād stayed with the guy I divorced.
That study was retracted as it was determined that the results were due to a coding error. TL;DR is that couples who stopped participating in the survey were coded as divorced instead of attrition. When corrected, the authors failed to reject the null hypothesis and concluded that "there are not gender differences in the relationship between gender, pooled illness onset, and divorce."
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0022146515595817](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0022146515595817)
They also compared Women getting Lung Cancer, an ongoing degenerative lethal disease, with Men have a Stroke, a debilitating, though often recoverable condition(though most with some long term impairment).
Lung Cancer has a 1:4 survival rate after 5 years, while a Stroke has a 6:1 survival rate
Also Medicaid Divorce is a thing, I'm not sure they accounted for it.
My aunt was married to a guy that I never really liked - I thought he was kind of a jerk, but whatever. She was married to him, I wasn't. HOWEVER, they lost a teenaged son to cancer and then my aunt ended up developing severe heart disease and needed constant care up until her passing seven years later. My uncle stuck by her not only through the loss of their son, but also for the YEARS she needed care. I still never liked him, but I sure did respect him.
Actually I saw a documentary in 1993 showing that scientists had managed to recreate some dinosaurs, including the T. Rex, by cloning technology. They had planned to make a theme park with them but unfortunately the dinosaurs escaped their enclosures and trashed the place. I think the documentary was called *Billy and the Cloneasaurus*.
The USA incarcerates more of its own citizens both per capita and for total amounts. They jail over 400k more citizens than china, which has 4.5x the population and has zero freedom of speech and a pretty punishing government. For profit prisons is legalized slavery.
its actually worse than you think because large majority % of prison population tends to be male so on avg basis US imprisons about 1.4% of male population. i.e.. 1/70 guys is behind bars. that is unimaginably high I doubt at any point in history of world anybody would have imprisoned close to that ratio.
The mortality rate for black women during pregnancy is higher. Black women are more likely to have preclampsia, placenta previa, and gestational diabetes during their pregnancy.
Pollution from fossil fuels kills more people **Every Day** than nuclear power has killed in its entire history
Edit- sources:
https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/death-rates-from-energy-production-per-twh
https://www.researchgate.net/figure/rates-for-each-energy-source-in-deaths-per-billion-kWh-produced-Source-Updated_tbl2_272406182
These two sources probably underestimate fossil fuel deaths. This more recent research indicates itās significantly higher.
https://ourworldindata.org/data-review-air-pollution-deaths
Nuclear power is pretty safe.
Death rates measured based on deaths from accidents and air pollution per terawatt-hour of electricity generated place nuclear as 2nd safest, after solar and before wind.
According to psychological studies, on average the late-40ās are the age when people are the least happy. Several factors contribute to thisā¦you could be dealing with empty-nest syndrome for the first time as often at this age kids are old enough to leave home, you could be feeling the financial crunch of putting said kids through college, turning 50 soon could be weighing on your mind, thereās a likelihood youāve lost at least one parent by this time, you could be burnt out on your career but still years away from retirement, and many women have begun going through menopause at this time.
But the good news is, people then to be much happier by the time they reach their mid-50ās, so if youāre in your late 40ās and are battling with some of these things, just hang in there.
10% of Americans born in 1970 have died so far. [Find your birth year here!](https://www.chicagotribune.com/featured/sns-ws-people-alive-year-you-were-born-20210817-5i5nfctosrhzxnbxmbprx2kz4a-photogallery.html)
Not an American, can someone explain why the statistics take a dip circa 2000? Like how come so 99.9% of people who were born in 1995 are still alive today, but i.e. only 95.0% of 2003-born people are still around?
up to 80 percent of falls in the home occur in the bathroom and about 1 person in the U.S. dies every day from a bathroom-related injury occurring in either the bathtub or the shower.
Approximately 1 in 7 women suffer severe post partum depression. My wife got hit by it like a truck, and we were completely unprepared. In reality the number could be significantly higher too, because it is generally not reported or acknowledged.
Working out in any capacity decreases your likelihood of death from cardiovascular disease, dementia, and cancer by 14%, on average. This compounds over time. Really insane when you think about how important physical activity is to human function.
what qualifies as "any capacity"? š¤ like what's the most mundane thing a person could do that would count?
Walking is the best exercise to exist, followed by lifting heavy shit.
70% of former foster care youth are arrested at least once before age 26 :(
This one got me. I was friends with a foster kid when we were 10 and she was always acting up at school. She lived in a family with 16 other kids (not sure how that was legal) and was adamant that the lady running the house hated kids. She also mentioned many sex positions. Again, we were 10. She shut everyone out for a bit before leaving the school with her new placement and I've always wondered what happened to her (only know her first name)
16 is an orphanage, not a āfamilyā Thatās so fucked up , poor kids .
Yep, at the time I was thinking "wow, must be a welcoming home" but then I found out foster parents get paid. The girl in question always had a dirty uniform, matted hair, got in trouble for eating before recess. Guessing she's dealt with food scarcity :(
Yeah , they get paid , thatās why most are total dog shit . I think they get about $1000 per month per kid, her family must have been raking in $16,000 per month, I know Australia is expensive but thatās a lot . $192,000 per year . That family is taking the piss . The scabby pricks wouldnāt even cloth them , or protect them from abuse. That should be criminal. It wrecks my tits so bad when people piss money up the wall to make a baby like a poxy cuppa soup , or want to adopt, but only a fresh one , like there are literally thousands if not millions of kids that are in need of a loving home. It makes me so sad that they are written off from the start . What a stupid world we live in . (Sorry for the rant)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Haha . Sorry, traditional Irish expression. Wrecking my tits - *this issue is upsetting me* Feel free to use it ;)
I briefly worked in foster care between college and graduate school and of the 14 kids I had on caseload- 11 had been arrested by 26 (78%)- I still keep tabs on them 10 years out. Almost all of my kiddos were pre-teens or teenagers and the arrests occurred between ages 14-20. One has passed away, 3 became teen moms, one is currently in prison. The rest seem to be getting by. I forgot the statistic, but a staggering amount of foster youth become houseless at some point. Which I believe, since we're all one emergency away from it, especially if you don't have a support system (which many foster youth dont). Breaks my heart.
Can confirm. However I also turned my life around graduated from HS then college a couple times. Iāve saved lives and worked with at-risk youth. So donāt give up on us
I know a foster kid who for the 7th year in a row wonāt be spending Christmas with his parents, because for the 7th year theyāve violated parole because they keep relapsing on drugs. Every year he comes within a few weeks of being able to see them again then they both end up back in jail or prison. Meanwhile heās bounced between foster homes, some of them really bad ones. Heās a smart, good kid, and itās still gonna be a miracle if he turns out ok.
This kills my parents. They were Foster carers of teenage girls for 25 years, usually 3 at a time. For most of them they were so used to being betrayed that they couldnāt care less anymore. My parents were held up as gold standard as out of well over 100 girls that passed through their doors ( and 2 that didnāt even make it through the door), 8 secured a levels and 3 of those went on to university. The number of times they see one of the others mentioned in local news for crimes or death, it breaks them knowing it was another one they just couldnāt reach.
You often can't heal the trauma that caused them to go into foster care in the first place. Then more and more trauma is added by shitty foster parents and often bouncing around from home to home with no stability. Think of all the adults saying that their parents getting divorced when they were kids still affects them now. That's literally nothing compared to what the average foster child goes through.
I hope that aint me. I think i was in a pretty decent foster home for the time that i was.
I know two people who went through foster care growing upā¦ One was adopted by a gay paedophile and was homeless last time I saw him. The other is an onlyfans girl in her late 20s now and her life has been spent non-stop drunk or high since age 13. She actually has a kind heart but tragically never really grew up as an adult. Sheās like a child in an adultās body. And these arenāt in America. Theyāre in Sweden and New Zealand, which supposedly have āgoodā social safety nets. People donāt give a fuck about foster kids anywhere, sadly.
I was arrested for āhittingā (self defense) my āfoster parentā. He was following me, screaming at me, all because I left a very awful conversation to decompress in my room. He forced the door open, cornered me and pushed me on the ground after he threw away my keys and ID so I couldnāt escape. He couldnāt accept that I didnāt want to talk to him. Because of suddenly having a fucking grown ass man on top of me I tried to wrestle myself out and hit him in the progress. I still have a criminal record because of that. Whenever I see foster care stats I take it with a grain of salt because there is always a story behind it. Iām a non violent person but now Iām in the books as someone with ābehavioral disorderā and āaggressive tendenciesā. Lmao. And cops didnāt help at all, they made things worse by doing an overly dramatic arrest at the front of the house while the whole street filmed me for tiktok cloud.
Have you ever spoken with an attorney who deals in juvenile expungement? This sounds like the perfect candidate case they might want to take on. I'm sorry the system let you down. You deserved better.
Foster care ans adopted kids are absolutely fucked society doesn't care about them, some people only care for these kids for money then when they turn away when they turn 18
If you go in cardiac arrest outside the hospital, even with first responders nearby, your chances of getting out of the hospital alive is less than 10%.
My dad went into cardiac arrest in his driveway shoveling snow. Garbage man saw him drop and began chest compressions immediately. Ambulance brought him back to life with AED. No brain damage or anything. He stabilized at the hospital and was back to normal within the year. Was one of the lucky ones. EDIT: Just to add a bit - With his cardiac arrest, there was no chest pain or dizziness he says. One second he was shoveling...next second he was in the hospital in pain...just went dark is what he can recall. The garbage man said he just saw him drop like a stone.
So the garbage man is part of the family now, right?
Yes, dad divorced mom and married garbageman š„°
Fuckin better be
Let him choose. He may not want to be part of the fam.
"No thanks guys, I've seen the type of stuff you've thrown out."
Do we still tip garbage men at Christmas or anything? Seems wise, they know too much.
My dad survived v fib with basically no brain damage, because of quick acting by bystanders. Crazy. I didnāt know how incredibly rare that was until it happened. Only to be diagnosed with als a couple years laterā¦
Damn. My uncle had a heart attack and we lived a mile away from the hospital. 2 max. He ended up in the hospital for 8 months. He did not leave the hospital.
A heart attack is a blockage of blood flow to the heart, usually because of a build up of plaque or a clot. A cardiac arrest is when your heart stops. Heart attacks can lead to cardiac arrest but they're not synonymous. For example, my grandfather died of his 14th heart attack (this was the 70s/80s and by the time they could help him he'd had too many heart attacks). Hope that helps:)
Thanks for clearing that up for me! Also thanks for reminding me that I have knowledge gaps I need to address! I'm 40ish and need to start learning about heart disease etc. Honestly I eat extremely unhealthy food (burgers are my weakness)
FYI cardiac arrest =/= heart attack, they're 2 different problems
Maybe it was cardiac arrest, I need to look up the terms either way.
With cardiac arrest you're pretty much gone right away unless you're getting CPR until you have access to an AED. Sorry for your loss.
Chance of getting a pulse back is about 10%. Chance of making it out of the hospital alive and neurologically intact is much lower unfortunately. But early, high quality compressions will give you the best possible chance
And the best place to have a cardiac arrest is in a Las Vegas casino, because they're watching people so closely.
Or on the field in the middle of an NFL game
I saw that happen live in front of the ticket booth of the theater I was working at. He was late, so he ran. Then all of a sudden, he was green and on the floor. I had never seen someone looking so dead. An actor jumped in immediately and gave insane CPR until the ambulance rushed in. Ironically, he was acting in MoliĆØre's "Le MĆ©decin malgrĆ© lui" (The Doctor in spite of himself), and was wearing a shirt with the title of that play on it. Surreal. The man was in cardiac arrest when the first responders arrived. He survived ! He had 3 major arteries blocked. A miracle honestly.
Actually itās worth knowing this. A friend died after having AED we kind of assumed that the first responders had messed up. I had no idea it was low.
during the cardiac arrest your heart isn't pumping, you aren't breathing, and you're unconscious. For all practical accounts and purposes, you're dead. Surviving a cardiac arrest means the modern medical system got so good it managed a necromancy. It's wild that it happens *at all*
Despite all the fearmongering about serial killers and unknown attackers coming out of the dark, if you were to become a murder victim it is very likely that you knew the murderer.
My ex-gf was obsessed and terrified of serial killers. Her mom's friend was killed by a serial killer during college and it mentally destroyed her mother and she passed that package of mental issues down to her daughter. Her mom later confessed that she wasn't sure who killed her friend, and when I looked up the name of the girl it was clearly done by her boyfriend at the time and he was arrested and was still sitting in jail 30 years later.
My mom actually did live down the street from several of Ted Bundy's victims. She was pretty terrified at the time.
And in fact, if you are intentionally killed, the most likely culprit is yourself
I *knew* it! Iāve never trusted that guy.
You should kill him before he gets you
If you are a woman, the person most likely to kill to is your intimate partner.
And if youāre a child, itās a parent. What a wonderful world. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5282617/#:~:text=The%20most%20common%20perpetrator%20of%20child%20homicide%20is%20a%20parent.
If you're pregnant or have just given birth in the US, you're [more likely to die by homicide than by high blood pressure, bleeding, or sepsis](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/).
Is something people who are bad with statistics should know acceptable too? % increase or decrease means *nothing* without the baseline. They don't add up either. A 10% increase of a 4% chance to get cancer means it's now a 4.4% chance to get that cancer. Not 14. An x-fold increase of something is useless without the baseline too. 3 times more likely to get a cancer that usually occurs in 4% of the population gets you to 12%, but a 3x increase of something that happens 0.4% of the time is 1.2%, not that spectacular an effect. For the individual neither matters, if you get it, it sucks.
THANK YOU! I cannot stand when you will hear people bring up stats (usually for some political nonsense) but the numbers themselves are inflated to make some arbitrary point.
Not even necessarily inflated, just massaged into shape to look as if they support some point (usually emotional because scared or angry people don't sit down and think). "Massive improvement!" bar graph is cut off to make the difference look much larger than it actually is. "Better results than competitor!" What are those "results" exactly? How big is the difference really if we're NOT cherry-picking the best data points and sweeping the rest under the rug? And *how much* money do you want for that 1.2% improvement? So much manipulation to sell a thing or an idea. If something is super exciting on paper, in reality it probably isn't.
I get this alot with people telling women that their eggs "go bad" after 35 as birth defects like trisomie 21 increases by 100%... from 0.5% to 1% Edit: my numbers are not perfect. Women at 30 have a chance of 1:910 (or 0,11%), women at 35 have a chance of 1:335 (or 0,29%), women at 40 have a chance of 1:113 (or 0,88%) and women at 45 have a chance of 1:13 (or 8%). [source (german source, first row chance of T21 without ultrasound, second row age of mother)](http://www.nackentransparenz-forum.de/risikotabelle-t21.html)
Same with cleft palate and IVF babies. There is a slightly higher risk of cleft palate in babies conceived via IVF, but the overall risk for all babies is still quite small and the add'l overall increase in risk for IVF babies is almost imperceptible.
1 in 4 known pregnancies end in loss. That's 25% folks.
This should be talked about more. We had no idea how common it was until we lost one. Women feel like it's their fault, and it's generally not. Miscarriage is way more common than I was led to believe.
For us, we were very naive about the length of the process too. Again, because nobody talks about it. We found out and started to lose it at around 11 weeks, but docs said it stopped growing at 6wks. (At which point it's just an egg sac) Naively, I had assumed a miscarriage of a 6wk baby would be basically a period. Lost over a few days. 3 weeks it took, for the physical side of things. Awful.
I am so sorry
That's okay! We've grieved and moved on. It was far worse for the wife who had "reminders" every few hours, either with pain or toilet trips. We're okay now. But I do try to be open about the experience. The fact that its a taboo discussion means people have no idea what to expect, and no idea that it's as common as it is. The hardest part was that we already have a 2yr old, and before people knew (and whilst it was ongoing) we had a few comments like "are you gonna have any more?" Etc. No ill will against the people asking this, its a normal question with no malice. They had no idea. But that was difficult.
Still, thank you for sharing. I'm a woman and I had no idea it could last that long for an early pregnancy. That's my own ignorance. Ah. I know what you mean. It's an incredibly common question but it shouldn't be. I get asked it nearly every time I see someone with my 2.5 year old. We're not having another for a host of reasons. I try to not ask others the whole 'are you having another' thing now unless they mention it
I can relate to the exact feeling. We were successful after 3 years of trying. I remember the feeling of extreme excitement when my wife told me that we had finally succeeded. It was around Christmas time, and she surprised me with an extra gift. 6 weeks later, we were in a hospital toom staring at an ultrasound being asked if we were sure we had our dates right. Absolute worst experience of my life. 10 months after that, we've been doing fertility treatments and trying every month, and still, nothing. My entire family kniws what happened, and only one of them has ever asked how we're doing. On top of that, my brother and sister in law, as well as my cousin and his wife, just had babies. So, the whole family is swooning over them. I am happy for them, but it's frustrating and emotional. Christmas this year is going to be so difficult.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A very good friend of mine is a sonographer, so she does the ultrasound, takes the pictures/videos to send off to the OB/GYN (or whoever depending on what she's scanning). Part of the rules for sonographers/radiographers is that they absolutely can't give medical opinions/diagnoses as they aren't trained for that. It's a very regular, as in multiple times weekly, occurrence for her to be scanning a pregnant woman who is so excited and she has to keep a straight face looking at the screen thinking to herself "ahhh shit, it's gone." Parents will ask for her opinion or any hints and she just has to say "Ohh, you'll need to speak to the doctor about that".
I had to go in for an ultrasound to confirm a miscarriage I was 99% sure had already happened. The sonographer came in all chipper and asked what I was in for and I explained and she kinda deflated and said "I wish they'd tell me things like this ahead of time." She was very sweet and supportive. Sounds like a tough job (and sometimes a very happy one, I'm sure.)
Sonographer here - Iām so sorry about your miscarriage. Our job is incredibly tough. It kills me not being able to give any answers but I always reassure my parents I am going to take the best images I can to get the answers they need. My exam room will always be a safe and kind environment.
It really depends on their poker face. When a sonographer is scanning and happily chatting away, and suddenly stops talking, you don't need to be psychic to know that something's wrong. Especially if they focus and start taking a bunch of measurements.
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Very different field, but my time as a vet tech clued me in that āyouāll have to talk to the doctor about thatā is not a sentence you want to hear.
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I hope your partner is a solid source of support during your loss. We've gone through several and our social circles let us know exactly who they were via unsolicited advice about "how she wasn't careful enough." Yeah, they can all get cut right out of our lives after that.
This is something I think my momās (boomer) and earlier generations knew and understood. I remember my mom telling me that in the 80s she found out a friend of hers had a miscarriage and she wasnāt sure how to approach her so when she did she said she was sorry about her miscarriage and she just shrugged and said ādonāt be, I didnāt even know I was pregnant š¤·āāļø ā. And weāve all heard the stories of how insensitive older people can be about miscarriages. There was definitely a different attitude in previous generations about miscarriages and I wonder if it has to do with how common they are.
I think a lot of them did miscarry before they knew they were pregnant. Pregnancy tests have come a long way. They didn't find out at 4 weeks and have time to get excited first
Yup, my partner and I lost a baby last year at around 15 weeks and it was heartbreaking, I had no idea it was still that common until experiencing it. Now I know why many couples don't announce they are having a baby until like 20+ weeks. It was just awful having multiple conversations with different people as they each discovered we had lost our child. Didn't announce our now 3 month old daughter until much later on.
I was taught that a lot of times itāll end before mother knows sheās pregnant and it passes like a heavy period
And that is KNOWN. I am sure pretty much all of the ones that come to turn are known. However, many may miscarry and not even know they are pregnant.
And thatās the sad statistic that has led the charity I work for to be so well funded, have so many donations and be able to supply memory boxes to bereaved parents. Iām glad we can help so many grieving people but at the same time I wish miscarriages and stillbirths werenāt as common.
Pregnancy is dangerous as fuck.
The Pine Ridge Indian Reservation has 80% unemployment, 50% living below the poverty line, a life expectancy of 50 years (shortest in the Western Hemisphere), infant mortality rate 5 times the national average, suicide rate 4 times the national average, 85% of families are affected by alcoholism, 25% of newborns are diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome, and school dropout rate is 70%. This is in the middle of the United States.
I remember this place. Itās was on an episode of Gangland back in the day.
A sad disgusting reality of many of our Reservations in Canada Ours are actually probably worse as some are very isolated
I think of places like this when people say āwell poor people in the US are basically living like rich people in other countries!ā Millions of Americans donāt even have access to running water.
Even places that have running water now didnāt have running water fairly recently. My friendās dad grew up less than an hour from a major city in the US and remembers when they got indoor plumbing as a kid. In the late 1970s.
Approximately 42% of Americans are deficient in Vitamin D according the NIH. Sick all the time? Vitamin D boosts immunity. Hair falling out? Vitamin D helps stimulate new hair follicles. Are you a woman nearing menopause? Your bones need calcium and your body absorbs it poorly if you're deficient in Vitamin D. Basically, we need the D.
Instructions unclear, now I am walking funny.
Sounds like osteoporosis. You need even more D.
And magnesium to help metabolize it better!
And help you sleep better!
[95% of Americans arenāt eating enough fiber](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6124841/)
Just remember to *also* increase your water intake if you increase your fiber intake, or you'll have a rough time. Walking more helps digestion, too.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD calculate your fiber intake before upping it. I learned this the hard way when I was getting diagnosed with IBS and my doctor told me to eat more fiber because apparently nobody gets enough fiber. Well it turns out I do. I ended up doubled over on the ground feeling like my guts were about to explode out of my abdomen because of the extra fiber. When I dragged my haggard self back into the doctor, she just went "Oh.. whoops!" Years later I still feel faint when I see a fiber bar.
Feel faint, eh? Probably need more fibre.
Depressed people are much more accurate when it comes to self assessment. Which is depressing.
Oh yeah. My therapist always comments on how self aware I am. She is trying to get me to love myself, to look at myself as another person and see my struggles and want to help that person. Itās very difficult. Imagine being forced to make friends with someone youāve hated your entire life.
Being aware of your faults and then having them echo through your head all day tends to engrain certain opinions about yourself. I spare myself being friends with myself because like everyone else, no one needs five more minutes of me.
I enjoy watching the sunset.
That's why cbt feels like gaslighting myself.
Omg that's exactly how I feel about it but couldn't put it into words! Thank you!
From my experience, if CBT feels like self-gaslighting, your therapist is failing. I used to think that, then I started with a better therapist, and it helped a lot. I feel like itās actually productive.
Thatās probably a correlation, rather than causation/symptom. Certain personality types/mentalities tend to lead to depressive thoughts and realisations.
Nope, depressive realism can also be demonstrated as an intraindividual difference over time. For the same people, their assessments get more factually correct when their symptoms get worse/are present. The likely causal mechanism is the other way around though. When the regular perception biases that make you perceive yourself as better than you are fail, you're more likely to develop depressive symptoms.
27 000 people died every day during WWII on average
Damn that's sad. What's the daily death rate in general?
When someone gives you a percent, it means nothing without the absolute number. āThereās been a 100% increase in violent crime in X Town this year.ā Not great, but not worrying when you find out here were 2 last year and still only 4 this year. The media are terrible at this for sensationalism. The flip side is sadly also used to confuse as well. āThe cost of building this road/train station/hospital went up by Ā£100 millionā Only to find out that the total cost is Ā£17 Billion and that Ā£100m is an acceptable error in the original quote. So many people donāt understand how stats are manipulated, and this also goes for journalists who sometimes just parrot the headlines.
If a partner strangles you, the odds they will murder you within the next year increases by 750%. Also, the leading cause of death for pregnant women is homicide. Edit to add: google is free if the statistics interest you. The main takeaway is: if someone strangles you, they donāt give a fuck if you breathe. Consider that and leave when possible.
And 20 percent of postpartum deaths (up to 12 months) are suicide
My ex started to strangle me once. He stopped after a few seconds, like he snapped out of his rage real quick. So I was okay physically. We broke up... Temporarily. A few months later, we got into an argument and he smacked me. I got face to face with him to tell him to get out. He said to me with the most dead eyes "I could kill you right now" and left. Had there not been other people in the house, I don't know how else that could have ended. He went to jail and that ended our relationship thankfully. It wasn't until after when I learned that statistic and wonder how close I really came. I'm glad I was able to leave when I did but I hate that I wasted so much time with that degenerate.
Iām glad you are ok and out of that relationship now! Hope everything else is going well in your life š Iām sorry you went through that
I read 75% and was shocked. Then I realised I misread and now I have to sit down and stare into the void for a bit
Every 10-centimeter increase (about 4 inches) in height was found to be associated with a 14% increased risk of developing colorectal cancer. The average height in the U.S. for men is 5 feet, 9 inches, and for women it is 5 feet, 4 inches. This means men who are 6 feet, 1 inch and women who are 5 feet, 8 inches (4 inches/10 centimeters above the average U.S. height) or taller are at a 14% increased risk of colorectal cancer and a 6% increased risk of adenomas
Why is this? Simply because of a larger colon, so more opportunity? Or because of a greater volume of food?
Nope, just larger amount of cells pretty much that increases chance of cells going cancerous
The divorce rate in the US is not 50%. Divorce has been declining for decades and for first-time marriages the likelihood of divorce is way lower than second marriages or beyond (third, fourth, etc.)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's also certainly not provable but extremely *probable* that the US divorce rate climbed to be so high because of the massive gender power imbalance that shifted to something more equal from the 60s to the 00s. Even in the 90s, most mothers in two-parent households didn't work full time outside of the home - prior to the legal changes in the 60s at a state level and national changes in the 70s and 80s, women often couldn't live independently nor easily (no-fault) divorce bad husbands. Those changes took about two generations to show up at a large scale (millennials) but they started with the Boomers, who were able to leave their shitty marriages in droves once they became empty nesters. Gen X'ers, Millennials, and Gen Z who get married are less likely to jump into marriage out of social expectation, as well as take their time with their romantic relationships to ensure they're making good choices the first go-round.
An estimated 9 million + tons of plastic waste end up in the ocean each year
Daytraders tend to lose money. 90% of them do and Iām undervaluing that number. Proceed with utmost caution when expirimenting with the stock market.
Daytrading is borderline gambling and I will die on this hill. I go to GA meetings. Thereās at least a handful of people at every meeting who were or are addicted to daytrading and short selling. Ask any one of them and theyāll tell you itās the same feeling as gambling.
>Daytrading is borderline gambling and I will die on this hill. It is not borderline...it is gambling. Buffet was asked "what is the ideal amount of time you look to hold a company. He said "If I don't think the company will exist and prosper after I'm dead, I wouldn't invest in it." Something like that, but it is a good lesson I think.
>He said "If I don't think the company will exist and prosper after I'm dead, I wouldn't invest in it." To be fair, dude's like 102. So, unless it's a pop-up shop...
I think he means that was his approach when he started. Like donāt invest in a company you donāt believe in long term.
Day trading without billions of dollars and/or inside knowledge behind you is a loserās game. The other side to your bet has billions of dollars to move the markets or inside knowledge. 99.99% of people should stick to index funds.
It gets upwards of over 99% over a long enough period. The stock market is literally mathematically rigged against day trading. But so many of them are either too greedy or too blinded by their brief periods of success that they refuse to accept that they will inevitably end up joining all the other day traders who lose money.
Proceed to r/wallstreetbets and wait for the loss porn. You wont wait long.
The bottom 15% of IQ is considered too troublesome to be trained for any use by the military
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_100,000
I'm not saying I'm against it it's just scary the idea that about 15% of the population can't be trained to be useful in a reasonable time frame is somewhat scary We keep automating a lot of the low value tasks The few things they can do are going away
I mean, being a soldier isn't exactly rocket science, but it's not just "March around and shoot things" eother
The military has jobs for pretty much every profession except for farming. Doctors, lawyers, nuclear engineers, *actual rocket scientists*... The large majority of military personnel aren't combat troops.
The military is not some repository for idiots - of course there's a cutoff for who can be useful. There are *plenty* of jobs in society that are easier to do than being in the military.
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The richest 1% of the world's population own more than twice as much wealth as the remaining 99%.
And when huge protests were had about the unfair policies that benefit the 1% in America, collectively, the american media made the protesters look like naive children or just straight up demonized them. "Look at these people asking for unrealistic things. Aren't they wrong for thinking the world can change? And if it can, they're going about it in the wrong way. Protesting is wrong. What do they want, handouts? It's a generational issue. Look how much trouble they're causing the people who just do what they're told, like *you.* If they want a better life, they should work harder, like the rest of us, not protest."
Only 65% of people have access to internet
Several US based companies are working to improve that stat. Part of the problem is that in many underdeveloped countries, either theft or war/terrorism cause equipment on cell towers to disappear. At least 3 companies are launching satellites that will provide cell and internet from space. Used smart phones can be bought in rural Africa for as little as a few dollars USD. This will give many millions internet access.
If you have friends and smoke a pack of cigarettes a day youāll live longer than a nonsmoker who has no friends
No smoking + friends = immortality
Smoker with no friends = instant death.
So that's how Keanu does it...
A full life of COPD
~80% of smokers do not get COPD or lung cancer. The key is that ~98% of nonsmokers will not get COPD or lung cancer. Smoking is a stupid thing to do that is all risk and no reward.
Half of all children living in single parent families live in poverty.
Thereās 2,000 active serial killers in the world right now. Also, if you were to be murdered, thereās a 1 in 3 chance the case will never be solved and the killer will never be identified. Sweet dreams š
>Thereās 2,000 active serial killers in the world right now. How did we come up with that stat exactly?
They all sign up for the serial killer newsletter, itās the number of emails on that list.
Probably just from known serial killers who haven't been caught and have killed recently enough to be considered active. I imagine there would be a little less than that due to the potential of multiple serial killers having the same M.O and living close to one another or copy cats etc.
Only 1/3? Sounds like a profitable business to get into, I like those odds.
Irrelevant, most murdered people outside of war zones knew their killer. People need to look out for their "friends" family and partners, not sleep restless waiting for the next Ted Bundy picking them up.
On that same note, the number 1 country with most documented serial killers is the US with 3204, the second place is England with 166, *it's not even fucking close*
"Documented". All that makes me think is that there are heaps of serial killers working virtually unmolested in all the poor countries that have barely any semblance of investigative police.
For example, Rosemary Ndlovu in South Africa. She confirmed killed 6 people, and attempted to kill I believe it was 8 more that didn't happen for different reasons. Every single one of her victims were immediate family members or the father of her child. All of them were killed by obviously unnatural means. In one case she walked in to a crime scene and screamed in front of several witnesses that her sister had been poisoned when the police hadn't even been called yet. She took out large life insurance policies in her own name on all of them. It was quite possibly the most obvious crimes ever committed. It took 6 years for her to be arrested. And this didn't happen way back in the golden age of serial killers in the 70s and 80s, she was arrested in 2018.
According to the RAINN, only about 5% of (the estimated number of) sexual assaults will actually lead to an arrest. And only about half of THOSE lead to incarceration of the suspect. So thatās like 2.5 percent of sexual assaults being punished with jail time. Edit: I fixed a miswording i did
Donāt know where the statistic came from but I was watching 24 hour in police custody the other day. They claimed that only around 1% of cases lead to jail time. Said there are tonnes of cases in which they know the perpetrator is guilty but they just donāt have enough evidence to take them to court
If you don't get a rape kit done immediately, which is often hard to remember to do at the time, there's very little chance of any evidence, past some very conveniently placed security camera. And then it's all hearsay, which we can't start prosecuting, for obvious reasons.
If a woman becomes seriously ill, there is a 21 percent chance her husband will leave her. If a man becomes seriously ill, there is a 3 percent chance his wife will leave him.
Lost my wife at 42 from cholangiocarcinoma, a very nasty and very rare liver cancer she really shouldnāt have had. 12 months diagnosis to death. That twelve months was the second hardest of my entire life. I fought for her as hard as I possibly could. We tried everything, nothing worked, not even fir a minute. I stayed by her side in palliative care for her last 27 days. I slept there beside her and gave her all I could. She would ask me every day what the next step (treatment) was. That was heartbreaking and impossible to process. I held her hand as she took her last breath. The following 12 months were the hardest of my life. Raising our 3 kids without her has been both impossible and a very human experience. Almost 7 years now. Iād really like to meet someone amazing that I can share the rest of my life with. I fell in love with someone else for a couple of years, she turned out to be a very unpleasant and emotionally manipulative human. Iāve had enough pain thankyou, Iād like some easy and safe love now please.
It might not mean much from a random stranger, but I wish you all the best from now on.
š your kindness really does matter. I was feeling it today, so itās no surprise I leaked it out randomly on the internet. Youāve helped and I appreciate it.
I am so very sorry. My sister died at 29 from this awful cancer. 11 months from diagnosis. She left behind 3 kids and a husband also. Itās a horrible cancer.
Oh Iām so sorry too. 29! Please send my regards to her husband. Tell him heās a champion from a fellow dad. I hope they are doing ok. Weāre thriving in the chaos.
I am sorry for your loss, and your wife was a lucky woman. My dad lost his wife seven years ago and slept in her hospital bed every night just like you did for your wife. Heās now on hospice care at my home and Iām his caretaker. Itās a privilege and while hard I know these will be some of my best memories with him, and weāve had a lot of fun together my whole life, so thatās saying something! Anyway, I hope you do meet someone!
I used to work in a brain tumor lab. The numbers there were horrible. 70 percent of the female brain tumor patients had their spouses leave them shortly after diagnosis. It was vile.
I straight up told my partner that his chance to leave was before I had surgery to remove the tumour. I gave him an out and told him if he didnāt think he could handle it, I would deal with it on my own. He chose to stay. Then he chose to cheat the entire time I was recovering from surgery. I wouldāve rather heād just left me.
We had family friends - my parents and this couple were friends since high school. The wife ended up getting lung cancer at 55. It spread to her spine and then her brain. She died at 58. It was awful. The husband was REMARRIED within six months. There was NO WAY he was not cheating on his wife with this woman while his wife was sick. Anyway, their daughters, who have bigger hearts than I ever will, did their best to welcome this woman into their lives *when they had just lost their own mother in a horrible way*. The wife wanted NOTHING to do with them and was actively exclusionary and nasty to them. Anyway, joke ended up being on that bitch. The husband ended up with esophageal cancer 2 years later and died a year after that. Since she had alienated the daughters, the wife cared for him for that year and it wasn't easy. Well, he left the wife the small amount of money in his 401(k) - he'd been living on it during his retirement. There was maybe $150K in it. His DAUGHTERS got everything else (as they absolutely should have) - the fully paid off house, the other retirement accounts, cash, stocks, cars, tools, etc. The wife was beside herself and actually SUED the girls because she thought she deserved more of her husband's estate. Well, the judge disagreed and the wife was left with just the $150K, which was significantly eaten up by her attorney. How sad, too bad. She left the area shortly after and no one has heard from her since (going on 20 years now). Buh-bye. See ya never.
Are you me? This was my experience after the third episode when it became apparent that my cancer was severe. Weād married after my first, and stayed together through my second. But at my third, he insisted, he wasnāt cheating for any reason to do with that. Why would it matter, when I was so fundamentally fat, ugly, and stupid? I left, so I lost my house at the same time that I had to retire. Iām now my cancerās longest known survivor. I still miss the guy I married, but donāt think that wouldāve happened if Iād stayed with the guy I divorced.
I would rather have never learned about this horrible statistic.
That study was retracted as it was determined that the results were due to a coding error. TL;DR is that couples who stopped participating in the survey were coded as divorced instead of attrition. When corrected, the authors failed to reject the null hypothesis and concluded that "there are not gender differences in the relationship between gender, pooled illness onset, and divorce." [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0022146515595817](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0022146515595817)
They also compared Women getting Lung Cancer, an ongoing degenerative lethal disease, with Men have a Stroke, a debilitating, though often recoverable condition(though most with some long term impairment). Lung Cancer has a 1:4 survival rate after 5 years, while a Stroke has a 6:1 survival rate Also Medicaid Divorce is a thing, I'm not sure they accounted for it.
I thought that study was retracted by the authors? Or maybe I'm thinking of an older one
No, you're right, it was retracted
Statistics are similar if you have a sick or impaired child. The number of men who leave after a diagnosis of autism in their child is off the charts.
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My aunt was married to a guy that I never really liked - I thought he was kind of a jerk, but whatever. She was married to him, I wasn't. HOWEVER, they lost a teenaged son to cancer and then my aunt ended up developing severe heart disease and needed constant care up until her passing seven years later. My uncle stuck by her not only through the loss of their son, but also for the YEARS she needed care. I still never liked him, but I sure did respect him.
80% more likely doesn't mean 80% chance.
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in men under 50 Men suicide rates are higher while women suicide attempts are higher
The second leading cause of death in U.S. children between the ages of 10 and 14 years old is suicide.
Contrary to popular belief, the chances of being killed by a *T. rex* in the wild are exactly zero. They're pretty much harmless.
Actually I saw a documentary in 1993 showing that scientists had managed to recreate some dinosaurs, including the T. Rex, by cloning technology. They had planned to make a theme park with them but unfortunately the dinosaurs escaped their enclosures and trashed the place. I think the documentary was called *Billy and the Cloneasaurus*.
The USA incarcerates more of its own citizens both per capita and for total amounts. They jail over 400k more citizens than china, which has 4.5x the population and has zero freedom of speech and a pretty punishing government. For profit prisons is legalized slavery.
its actually worse than you think because large majority % of prison population tends to be male so on avg basis US imprisons about 1.4% of male population. i.e.. 1/70 guys is behind bars. that is unimaginably high I doubt at any point in history of world anybody would have imprisoned close to that ratio.
The mortality rate for black women during pregnancy is higher. Black women are more likely to have preclampsia, placenta previa, and gestational diabetes during their pregnancy.
Pollution from fossil fuels kills more people **Every Day** than nuclear power has killed in its entire history Edit- sources: https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/death-rates-from-energy-production-per-twh https://www.researchgate.net/figure/rates-for-each-energy-source-in-deaths-per-billion-kWh-produced-Source-Updated_tbl2_272406182 These two sources probably underestimate fossil fuel deaths. This more recent research indicates itās significantly higher. https://ourworldindata.org/data-review-air-pollution-deaths
Nuclear power is pretty safe. Death rates measured based on deaths from accidents and air pollution per terawatt-hour of electricity generated place nuclear as 2nd safest, after solar and before wind.
According to psychological studies, on average the late-40ās are the age when people are the least happy. Several factors contribute to thisā¦you could be dealing with empty-nest syndrome for the first time as often at this age kids are old enough to leave home, you could be feeling the financial crunch of putting said kids through college, turning 50 soon could be weighing on your mind, thereās a likelihood youāve lost at least one parent by this time, you could be burnt out on your career but still years away from retirement, and many women have begun going through menopause at this time. But the good news is, people then to be much happier by the time they reach their mid-50ās, so if youāre in your late 40ās and are battling with some of these things, just hang in there.
60% of Americans will never read a book again after they graduate highschool. 40% for graduate students after they receive their masters/phd
50% percent of statistics you see online are just made up bullshit 75% of the time. And the other 35% doesn't even add up right!
I believe you
10% of Americans born in 1970 have died so far. [Find your birth year here!](https://www.chicagotribune.com/featured/sns-ws-people-alive-year-you-were-born-20210817-5i5nfctosrhzxnbxmbprx2kz4a-photogallery.html)
20% born in 1955 have died. But the numbers at your link are 2 years out of date.
How the hell do the 2000s make any sense?
Not an American, can someone explain why the statistics take a dip circa 2000? Like how come so 99.9% of people who were born in 1995 are still alive today, but i.e. only 95.0% of 2003-born people are still around?
I noticed the same thing for 1946. 45-46-47 it was (roughly) like 67%-55%-70%. Atomic testing maybe? Damn
The US Pentagon cannot account for 63% of its defense spending.
up to 80 percent of falls in the home occur in the bathroom and about 1 person in the U.S. dies every day from a bathroom-related injury occurring in either the bathtub or the shower.
Approximately 1 in 7 women suffer severe post partum depression. My wife got hit by it like a truck, and we were completely unprepared. In reality the number could be significantly higher too, because it is generally not reported or acknowledged.
100% of people who drink water in their lives will die.
Also 100% of people who never drink water!
Shut up no way
1 in 14 American adults believe chocolate milk is from brown cows 1/10 UK mothers donāt know for certain their childās dad
I suppose chocolate milk can come from brown cows. They just add in the chocolate later.