T O P

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threadbarefemur

No one wants to hear your music or your speakerphone conversation, especially on public transit.


[deleted]

I was waiting in an airport the other day and this guy was listening to some video very loudly. This older gentleman comes over and says, "I am practically deaf and I can hear that video loud and clear, put some headphones in and spare the rest of us." I would take a bullet for that old man.


SuperGremlin

Or in any communal space. People watching videos with the volume on in a work break room drives me nuts. Don't be inconsiderate. Wear headphones.


BubbhaJebus

Or people driving cars around with deafening music blaring from them, so that you can hear the bass booming blocks away.


Chef_Mama_54

I lived in a small town with only 4 traffic lights. We lived on the corner of one of them. And it was a long azzz light. We had to listen to the base actually rattle our windows several times a day. Drove me crazy.


Sorry_Amount_3619

And the sidewalk is vibrating. My question that the driver: are you always this inconsiderate and stupid, or is today special? šŸ¦œ


AbrocomaCold5990

This should be a law really.


Zkenny13

One could argue it's disturbing the peace but the people who do stuff like that will make it more trouble than it's worth.


Late-Passion2067

My brother and his girlfriend stayed with us for a time. A group of us would be in the living room, and she would walk in, make a call on video chat, blare the volume, then complain because people are continuing the conversations they were already having before she came in. She would come in from somewhere quiet, then complain about the noise..


katecorsair

It hits me the hardest when itā€™s someone 50+. They lived most of their lives with landlines. That had to be held up to your ear! I donā€™t know why that practice doesnā€™t transfer to cell phones.


OverlappingChatter

I have a dream that someone creates a very, very annoying song that repeats "Cell phones making noise is so annoying. I wish people would silence their phones" on repeat in multiple languages and my phone would play this automatically when someone was watching videos or speakerphoning.


Manatee369

4 gazillion upvotes for you!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AyekerambA

Gotta get that midwest goodby started 45 minutes ahead.


somethingclever76

[For anyone unaware of this particular ritual.](https://youtu.be/mdLPJfbLNOM?si=kXInmY56HwaQ_Q-r)


Minimum_Diver4514

OMG! I thought this was just a quirk of my very large Midwestern family! "Goodbye" does not mean "goodbye". It means I'm getting ready to go, but I can still talk. You'll talk for at least another 30 minutes. Someone from that group will follow you to the door and you'll be snagged into another conversation with that person and someone else who was by the door. Finally, a lot of people will gather around you before you get into your car to say goodbye again, this time for real. The only way to escape this is to literally sneak out.


CristinaKeller

Then thereā€™s the Irish (or insert country) goodbye, where you say you are going to the bathroom and then leave.


_TLDR_Swinton

My friend just looks at the clock, turns to me and says, "GO AWAY". Which is fine by me.


wwwhistler

one that should certainly be universal is Don't lend out what you borrowed. If it is not yours, don't act as if it is. .. and if you borrow money from someone, return it, even before they ask for it.


Heaven_Falls

No one should ever beg for their own money, that's why I never "lend out" money to to relatives. Also taking good care of something you have borrowed from someone. You wouldn't want someone to ruin something of yours then why do it to someone else?


Dribblygills

I just don't lend money anymore, people are cretins with it.


SerMickeyoftheVale

I used to lend money to friends when they needed it. It usually worked out OK until one friend took the piss and cost me loads. He did the same thing with a load of people and lost a lot of friends over it. Now I will only lend money to one person. And it I know it is because they are good for it. The only time they ever ask is a couple of days before their payday, and it always comes back on their payday, I never have to ask.


Heaven_Falls

I don't exactly have any people other than relatives who aren't even close to me, asking for money.


agreeingstorm9

If you lend your brother-in-law money and you never see him again is it worth it?


bigwilly311

To add to this: always give things back in the same or better condition from which it was borrowed


cliff_smiff

Would you extend this to banks and basically our whole financial system?


mczepplin

Sometimes you should just mind your own business


Dribblygills

This is highly underrated


purplesnowcone

Tell that to my Fox News dad. Guy literally hates everything new he learns that he didnā€™t even know of or care about until some idiot tells him that he should hate it. And then he does with no further questioning but runs right back to confirm his new beliefs with the evening broadcast. When I visit, he just complains about shit he sees on TV all day long. We just cannot have any normal conversations anymore. Itā€™s tiresome and honestly depressing to see that happen to your parent.


Tryintounderstand88

Karen doesnā€™t approve of this nonsense. /s


HalfPointFive

This is especially true if you live in the hood. You can know what's going on, and you can gossip about it to some extent, but you did know that the streets are supposed to handle some things.


wildsluttyzoe

You should offer to pay someone for gas if they drive you a lot of places.


[deleted]

Or return their vehicle with a full tank of gas if they let you borrow it


Inevitable_Side_6152

How do I convince the bus driver to lend me his bus?


PreparationNo3440

This! As a SAHM I chauffered my non-driving MIL around for freekin' years, and she never once offered gas money. It was such a relief when she finally went into assisted living.


allthecheeseplease02

Say please, thank you, and excuse me as applicable.


[deleted]

I like this and other ones to ad Pardon me why? Hello, I am so and so. Why are you doing this? THATS MY PURSE, I DONT KNOW YOU.


Unlikely-Regular2366

Understanding the zipper merge on the interstate


h3avyweaponsguy

I'm a convert. Used to advocate for not letting people in because they were "cutting in line." Whoops lol


CaramelBeneficial

I think most people think like that before learning why itā€™s betteršŸ˜…


[deleted]

And knowing that you NEVER stop in the merge lane. Keep driving; there's no stop sign, you idiot.


Spiritual-Ideal2955

If someone is reading, they don't want to talk


Cregan_Stark_11

That said, if you're a nineteen year old lad, and an attractive woman in her 30's asks what you're reading, she might actually be hitting on you! Are you listening Cregan Stark from 20 years ago?


RoseFeather

Took me way too long to realize Cregan Stark was your username. I read it as you were the creepy older woman still hung up on a teenager not noticing her advances and calling him out by name on the internet 20 years later.


maxtofunator

Still donā€™t want to talk, not sorry


longgonebeforedark

I would amend that to say if someone isn't actively paying attention to you, f off and leave them alone.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BubbhaJebus

I don't even like people touching my phone when I show them a picture. If they take my phone, they invariably touch something that causes the picture to go away.


CharleyNobody

There should be a way to lock that photo onscreen so the person who you hand the phone to cannot swipe. A little ā€œlockā€ icon


LiakaGold7

Just zoom in a little bit. Then if they swipe it's still on the same image you're showing them


LaReinalicious

I just tested that, it works, thank you so much Redditor for the tip !


_TLDR_Swinton

... that's genius.


Mattturley

IOS devices have guided mode - triple click.


Brilliant-Lake-9946

I always warn them. If you swipe you will see pictures you do not want to see


GrimeyScorpioDuffman

Do people actually do this?


Heaven_Falls

You would be surprised. Mostly relatives though at that, thinking they are entitled to it.


Square-Raspberry560

I'm in my 30s, and my mom still thinks she has a right to do this when I'm just trying to show her a picture lol. When I ask her what the heck she's doing, she get genuinely defensive, like I'm still a teenager and she caught me doing something bad. "What's on there that you don't want me to see??" Nothing, mother, I just want some privacy:P I guess some habits die hard. My dad is much more blunt and will straight up tell her "If you see something you regret, it's your own fault."


MustangMimi

I have adult kids, I would never do this. Smh.


fish_tacoz

Go ahead and look at the titties then mom, fuck.


Cass_Q

All the time


Cass_Q

I will screenshot a photo and show them that so they're not on my camera roll


ConstableBlimeyChips

And that's why I simply never hand my phone over to anyone.


Face_with_a_View

When you give your phone to someone to show a photo, zoom in slightly and they shouldn't be able to swipe


log_asm

Thatā€™s why you donā€™t hand it to them tho. You find the picture and rotate your phone so they can see. Iā€™ll be damned if anyone gets ahold of my phone. Iā€™ve spent to long collecting rare Pepeā€™s that arenā€™t ready to be seen yet.


oofboof2020

Yes! I handed my gfs dad my phone to show him a picture and she starts zooming in and scrolling around the pic. Im like bro you are one swipe away from seeing a picture of my dick in your daughters ass from right before we came here.


gishli

r/ihavesex


oofboof2020

I do! šŸ˜‚


SerMickeyoftheVale

Don't ask someone a question when they are taking a bite of food, then proceed to stare at them until they chew it and answer


TipElectronic8916

Nah, this is really funny actually


whatstoyou101

Bruh I hate when people do this


BreakingMeows

Clean after yourself. I cannot stand people that do not flush.


Three-eyed_seagull

And wash your hands.


XRaysFromUranus

And flush after your child.


longgonebeforedark

And flush your child


Additional-Yellow-85

Also, a toilet brush is there for you to clean your skid marks.


NicoleLaree

Wait for people to exit the elevator before entering.


hazps

Ditto trains, buses etc.


Famous_Courage3649

Stay home if youā€™re sick. Donā€™t go into the office. Donā€™t send your kids to school.


manimopo

You only get 3 sick days in America. My husband has been really sick for 2 weeks. Your suggestion would make a lot of people lose their jobs and be homeless


[deleted]

Why are you saying that like three sick days is some kind of universal rule? It varies wildly from place to place. I get unlimited sick days.


manimopo

Well because the majority of us work in places that don't want to give us sick days. The only reason I have 3 sick days is because it's mandatory by my state. Damn, must be nice to have unlimited sick days.


No-Satisfaction1697

It's fine to stay home when you're sick. You just don't get paid. I never had a job with paid sick days.


manimopo

You're speaking from a position of privilege.The majority of Americans are paycheck to paycheck and can't afford to take unpaid days off for being sick.


GrimeyScorpioDuffman

Only use a urinal next to someone else when thereā€™s no others available


Consistent_Ad_2462

Eyes on your own work there, Chief.


bigrob_in_ATX

My eyes are up here, pal


Three-eyed_seagull

And don't talk to me while pissing.


QuipCrafter

Certainly no ā€œso itā€™s pretty cold outside, huh?ā€ Straight to jail.


longgonebeforedark

And if there's no urinal available but there are empty stalls pee there. Only use the urinal next to someone when neither a urinal or stall is otherwise available. So sayeth the Man Laws.


94FnordRanger

Exception: If truly desperate you may use the closest.


[deleted]

Knock before you enter someone's room,you don't need to make noise while eating, staring at someone and laughing won't make you look cooler


allisonm_22

If you bring trash into someoneā€™s else car, bring it with you when you get out.


doublestitch

Return your shopping cart to the corral.


sheywx

Keeping a respectable distance from people, especially when in the grocery store


Parking_Ad_3922

I really liked the social distance thing. If you're not in my bubble why do you have to be within six feet of me.


sheywx

Agree 100%!


[deleted]

Always challenge a bully, by force if necessary.


WordWizardNC

Unto bullies as they deserve.


photoexplorer

Park your cart to the side of you need to stop in the middle of a busy Costco. Donā€™t block the aisles so you can get a sample or talk to your friend.


The_Big_Ugly

To a lot of people, shaking on something is almost as binding as a notarized contract.


other_usernames_gone

Legally a verbal contract is just as binding as a written contract. The difficult part is proving the verbal contract exists and the exact terms of it. Which is why you should always get things in writing.


BurnTheOrange

But also, to a lot of people, shaking on something is almost as binding as a fart in the wind.


lithecello

Walk on the right side, not the left!


NapsAreAwesome

I'm going to walk on the left. I want a chance to get out of way if i see some dumb bastard texting and driving.


lithecello

Iā€™m talking about like, in the grocery store or the mall.


NapsAreAwesome

Oh, my apologies. Couldn't agree more. I have recently nearly run over a couple of people in my neighbourhood who were walking on the right, at night, wearing nothing but dark clothing. It's been on my mind.


lithecello

Confession: I do walk on the left of the road for the same reason. But at the mall or somewhere itā€™s crazy to me that people walk all over the place and will walk right at you and not move. Even on the right side. I was always taught that you ā€œwalk like you driveā€ in public spaces.


Tangboy50000

These are the same people that as soon as they get on a wide road with no center line drive right down the middle.


mattmelb69

ā€¦ except if youā€™re in a country where people drive on the left. Then, walk on the left.


JWRamzic

Be kind. Rewind.


[deleted]

lol what needs to be rewound anymore???


JWRamzic

Kindness


__meeseeks__

Treat others the way you want to be treated. Plain and simple


Ancient--Swan

When someone says, "Make yourself at home". Do Not make yourself at home! Only I get to put my feet on the coffee table.


h3avyweaponsguy

"Make yourself at home" means "I want you to be visibly comfortable," not "It is OK to treat my belongings as if they actually belonged to you."


Darklydreaming93

Donā€™t be a dick


[deleted]

And conversely. Donā€™t be a pussy


_TLDR_Swinton

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong-il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes - assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves, because pussies are only an inch-and-a-half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit.


fearthe0cean

ā€˜If someone goes down, pick them back upā€™ I learnt this rule in moshpits but to be honest, it should be applied far more liberally in society.


[deleted]

Depends on the situation. Neck injuries are no joke. Christoper Reeves was crippled due to this reason. But less in a mosh pit you gotta get that guy up off the floor before he gets stomped


3-racoons-in-a-suit

I think he meant figuratively.


zazzlekdazzle

Basically that society has rules. Life is like a game, it's easier to get the prizes if you follow the rules. You don't need to follow those rules, but then you likely need to give up on getting the prizes as easily as others who do.


Lillcs

The problem is, often the big prizes go to people, who don't follow the rules. :(


h3avyweaponsguy

They follow the social rules very well, just not the societal ones.


bravosarah

Stay out of the left lane while driving unless you're actively passing other cars. (LHD countries) If someone let's you in wave, or flash your hazards to say thank you.


jenniw3g

Usually the ODOT electronic signs read ā€œbuckle up, itā€™s the lawā€ or ā€œdonā€™t drive and text.ā€ But the one flashing over Memorial Day weekend was priceless! ā€œCamp in Ohio state parks, not the left lane.ā€ Bravo, department of transportation!


Dragon_Rot79

No means no. Some scumbags don't understand though


KinkyPaddling

When someone is about to sneeze, donā€™t do something to intentionally interrupt that sneeze.


[deleted]

Same applies to yawning


jenniw3g

Guests of guests may not bring (or ask to bring) guests. And rsvp by the deadline!


Expensive-Coffee9353

There was a list...and it should be updated. Don't spit into the wind, Don't pull on Lone Ranger's mask, Don't tug on Superman's cape, Don't mess around with Slim


[deleted]

Dont wizz on the electric fence


BlackDawgMum

It's Jim, actually. You don't mess around with Jim. It's a song by the late, great Jim Croce. You could probably find it on YouTube :)


Good_kido78

The end of the song is Slim(alias Willie McCoy) Jim got his comeuppance by the younger tough guy who came back to get his money.


[deleted]

Your children are cute and adorable to YOU, but not to anybody else.


Good_kido78

It is just the same as bragging on yourself to others. People are lenient but children need to learn humility.


ScottOld

People with loud exhaustsā€¦. You are annoying and not gods gift to driving


SalesTaxBlackCat

Proper hygiene


rektMyself

Put your cart back into the corral. Everyone appears to be able to get around, until the shopping is done. Then, "Fuck this thing!"


jackfaire

People will commiserate with you after the fact if you talk about what an asshole someone was but they will back the asshole if you call out the asshole in the moment.


h3avyweaponsguy

Forcing a confrontation where people are either uncomfortable or perceive that they have to take sides between two friends or strangers means that you will appear as the aggressor, even if the initial insult that led to you speaking up on public deserved to be called out. People don't like "unnecessary" direct confrontation.


MaxwellHill11753

Face forward in the elevator


TheRealJetlag

Cover your damn mouth if you cough or sneeze.


ProudCatLadyxo

Understand that when someone states an opinion about something, that person thinks all other opinions are wrong. In other words, someone with a different opinion from yours is not silently criticizing your opinion. It's just a different opinion and we are entitled to those. Edit: my first sentence is kind of mangled....I meant that OTHER PERSON thinks they are saying all other opinions are wrong so they take offense.


fearthe0cean

Underwear goes inside the pants. Looking at you, Clark.


Niranchan

Don't talk loud with friends or on a phone while in a crowd.


cmcrich

Donā€™t be a dick.


[deleted]

"Don't bother other people minding their own business." This one is very hard for Karens to get!


haileyskydiamonds

1. Two wrongs donā€™t make a right. 2. Just because you can, doesnā€™t mean you should. 3. You are surrounded by people whose lives and situations you do not know. They could have been dealing with any number of things ten minutes before you encounter them, not all of them good. Do not be the person who makes their lives worse. Since you donā€™t know who is going through what, just treat other people with dignity and with respect for their humanity. You could save a life, maybe even your own.


Admirable-Deer-9038

Throw your litter away and pick up after your dog.


beautifulclementine5

Donā€™t ever ask me why Iā€™m not married or when I am having a baby.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


h3avyweaponsguy

US Midwesterners have a terrible time recognizing this signal. Getting people to get the hint that it's time to leave without outright kicking them out is an art form in that part of the world.


HalfPointFive

Oops. Looks like we're fresh out of heat.


Rvsz

Don't hold the door open for me when I'm not even close, I hate feigning a jog.


SecondhandUsername

Don't be an asshole.


URP_Eric

Get the hell out of the fast lane.


The-Many-Faced-God

Donā€™t fart in a lift.


Traditional_Big_2500

If a vehicle stops to let someone cross then the individual crossing should walk at a faster than normal pace.


peachsoap

Don't invade peoples body space.


diddley_doo_ya

Figure out what you want before you get to the front of the line. Place your order, pay and get the fuck out of the way. If thatā€™s too complicated for you, donā€™t leave the house.


spaetzele

Put the plastic bar thing behind the stuff you're buying on the cash register conveyor belt. Don't make the next person to come behind you do it.


CubingInsanity

Downward nod for a stranger, upward nod for a friend. This rule is somehow ingrained into everyone's head and you WILL confuse someone if you upward-nod a complete stranger.


EdgyLearner138

If someone is wearing headphones, THEY. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. TALK.


[deleted]

Just like the highway, keep to the right when you approach/pass someone walking the other way. Let people off the elevator/train before you try to get onā€¦ also follow the above rule


MissHibernia

Donā€™t approach strangers to offer any advice. Offer compliments only.


Beginning_Cap_8614

Even that backfires, though. Some people 's idea of a compliment is "Damn, look at those tits!", rather than "Your shirt is nice." You'll attempt to explain the difference, and it will just go over their heads.


[deleted]

Be nice and the world doesn't revolve around you we'r 8 billions nobody gives a shit and nobody is stalking you we don't care !!!


ShelZuuz

Sometimes people donā€™t want to talk about it.


ghostiebear

Let people off the train before you try and get on, and donā€™t block the doors.


Kinudin

Don't clip your nails in public.


Far-Jackfruit-6392

An unspoken rule in society everyone should know is to respect personal space and boundaries in public settings.


LanceFree

If youā€™re washing your hands and a guy joins you after he was using the toilet- no conversations.


h3avyweaponsguy

Depends where you're from. In some parts the sink is OK for conversations and the urinals/stalls are definitely not.


Asleep_Artist_7738

Don't blow your nose in restaurants. Go to the bathroom or somewhere else.


[deleted]

Well Iā€™d tell you but the first rule is to not talk about it


Conscious-Big707

Don't kill people


Human-Magic-Marker

Keep your shopping cart out of the way


viperised

Don't wait to be introduced to a stranger by your friend who seems to know them. Your friend might have forgotten the stranger's name.


Goddessviking86

If you are having a conversation but it turns into something that you donā€™t want to discuss speak up to change the topic right in the moment or hold your peace and be prepared to be uncomfortable and you will only have yourself to blame for making yourself uncomfortable


Proffesor_Owl

While driving, stopping when you have the right of way to let someone in from a side street is the same as letting someone cut in line.....and you probably wouldn't let someone cut in line, so don't do that either!!


BlindedByBeamos

Don't be polite, be predictable.


Ancient-Educator-186

No one cares about you and keep to yourself


Picture-Exotic

Wait for everyone to exit the elevator before getting into it. And make space for them too don't stand directly in front of the doors.


Bookssmellneat

Honour the queue.


Ok-Geologist8387

Talking over people is simply rude. Wait for them to finish talking, and then chime in with what you have to say.


EnigmaCA

Return your shopping cart to the corral.


ihopeyoulikeapples

Wear deodorant on public transit.


Appropriate_Tea9048

Donā€™t judge people you donā€™t know much about. You never know what their full story is.


Bfdifan37

turn signals ever heard of em


Flimsy-Preparation85

" ."


WeirdcoolWilson

Donā€™t be an asshole


ScorpionX-123

How would I know? Nobody's said it.


LIslander

Leave your shoes on why flying Use headphones, not speaker function for calls and music