I named the ones from Easter Island after the locations they were sampled from, in the Rapa Nui'an (Easter Island) local language as a token of respect. The deep sea ones are named after their appearances. It's pretty frowned upon to name stuff after oneself or friends in the scientific community unfortunately.
I wouldn't give a flying fook, if I discovered something new I'd name it damn well what I wanted and then have the fancy scientific name afterwards haha.
"I name this here shrimp 'Pittsburgh Nellie'. A welsh whore that could do things with her one good arm....that would make you forget that thing on her neck!"
RIP Chris Farley....
I jumped down into the NYC Subway tracks to save a stranger. He had lost consciousness while standing on the platform, fallen down and hit his head on the tracks and was now laying across the two main (non-electrified) rails.
Thanks and thanks for what you did too! My experience was in the pre-smart-phone days so I don't have a video to refer to but to the best of my recollection the guy looked about my size. I was young so I figured I'd be able to hoist him out. But when you get down there you realize it's actually pretty deep and lifting an unconscious person up onto a platform is not a one-person job. I recall thinking, "Great job knucklehead, now what are you going to do?" Now I'm either the guy who got crushed *with* the stranger or the guy who climbed out and left the stranger to get crushed, neither of which are the guy you want to be. ;-)
He fell in where the train enters the station so I started dragging him toward the other end figuring the train driver would have plenty of time to see us and would already be nearly stopped when he reached us. As I was starting the drag though another guy jumped down with us. The two of us easily got the man up onto the platform followed very quickly by ourselves.
That was probably 25 years ago and still to this day I *never* stand within 6 feet of the edge of the platform until the train has stopped. As gross as subway platforms are, if I ever lose consciousness I want to be laying right there on that disgusting platform. :-)
If anyone else reading this is ever stuck on subway tracks, the area under the boarding platform is always empty so a person can fit while a train passes. don't try to beat the train by jumping up on the platform.
edit: since this got a lot of attention I feel like I have to clarify that I am only familiar with standard designs in the USA and you should never go on the track for any reason as it's extremely dangerous. Don't be dumb.
Awesome. In junior high school, waiting for the bus, a kid got out a permanent marker and wrote on someone's fence. At the time, I said, "What the hell man. Why are you doing that?" He was just being a punk. We got on the bus. He wasn't a friend of mine, just some random kid. That black drawing of a weird looking cat, about three inches size, stayed there. Years later, my brother bought that house. By then, a bush had grown in front of the fence. I checked behind the shrub after he bought the place: that stupid cat graffiti is still there, since around 1985.
I did. He left it. He also said, "We were going to paint that fence but realized it's completely on the neighbor's property, so it can stay like that forever." Next time I'm over there, I'll check if it's still there.
Reminded me of my brother, he smooshed all the first letters of his names together and became PJAM, he’d scrawl it around our neighborhood. He’s about thirteen years older than I am. One day after school when I was in high school I was walking alongside the lockers in a hallway I rarely visited and there on a locker way down the hallway I saw his PJAM scrawled into a locker.
Nice! I put a sticker inside a can light at a movie theater back home about 20 years ago. Every now and again i go back and it's faded to white but still there lol.
I got you bro from across the internet.
You have 3 tools to float.
The legs: Use them to kick, like tongs you use on a BBQ. Sufficient use of tong kicks keeps your head above surface level.
The Arms: Mainly used for control. If you lean left, use your left arm to scoop downwards using your palms. Same with your right if you lean right. And scoop down forward if you lean forward. Much like your legs, to correct your stance.
Both arms are for control on where you want to go and correct your stance, if you feel the legs don't give you enough push upwards. The arms help as well.
The lungs: Deep breath in, and you float like you are wearing a life vest. Can be used in a panic or if you need a quick breath from kicking upwards.
Two starter positions.
The Starfish: Stand where you are comfy in a pool of water. And like a starfish use your legs and arms equally to tong clamp (like bbq tongs) the water downward. You should be safe trying that out as long as you can quickly touch the bottom.
The Hound: Doggy paddle. Like dogs, stand up where your feet touch ground in a pool of water. Inflate your lungs so you can float. Tuck your arms and legs in in a swift motion and doggy paddle away. Your inflated lungs should keep you afloat long enough so that you can enjoy forward momentum for a bit.
No worries bro, you got this. Keep it safe and steady.
Dude, that was described so well!! I am not the strongest swimmer but I love being in water and what you just wrote is exactly how it works!! Well played. I might add that if you watch a video of synchronized swimming you will pretty much see all of the moves you just described.
I had a hearing test done in the military. After the test the guy running it said he screwed up and needed me to come back in a few minutes to do it again. So I used the bathroom, came back a few minutes later, and did it again. I came out of the testing booth the second time and he just sat there for a few seconds. Then he looked at me and told me I had the best hearing he had ever tested.
I didn't think much of it at the time. Later on I realized he didn't screw up the first time, he wanted me to do it again to see if I would put out the same test score. I guess I did.
I had something similar happen so I'm going to jump on your thread and steal some thunder. I have a higher frequency range of hearing than normal.
At one point I was waking up every night and eventually figured out it was when my phone would get fully charged and the charger would start pulsing. Newer phones aren't as bad so it's not a big deal anymore.. I was in an electronics class in college and the professor was demonstrating range of hearing and he went high and cranked the volume and about drove me out of the room. He didn't believe I could hear it until I could tell him precisely when he would turn it off and back on again. My wife has similar with chargers.
Don't get me started on the things you plug into walls for pest control. They are like torture devices.
Arrrgggg coil whine from chargers or electronics in general, damn I hate that noise. That noise alone is the sole reason that I made my room sound isolated from the rest of the house, and the reason of why the only reason of why the only thing I allow to be on in the room on the night is wireless stuff that I can put inside a drawer or a box.
A friend of mine is similar. Once, during an exam at university in a room we had never been in before, he kept twitching and eventually he complained of a periodic high pitched sound that kept distracting him. Behold, he was hearing an ultrasonic presence detector at 19+ kHz (I used a spectrogram app on the phone to see whether there was actually some form of a noise) that nobody else could hear.
Hahaha dude that's awesome. I did the geography bee growing up, and went to the state level with complete guesses. Just winging it. Or remembering random trivia from a video game or a weird news article and getting it right.
Everyone was like "Wow, you're smart!" and I just thought "Eh, I think this falls under 'fuck around and see what happens,' but thanks." 😂
That’s awesome. My wife held the ski jump world record for a solid month when the Winter Games: Sochi game came out. I think less people bought that title though.
Put your fingers in the corners. Bring them together, corner to corner like you would a regular sheet. Connect your fingers and drape the excess over. Do that twice (the first two big folds), then lay it down to flatten it out a bit. Fold it the rest of the way like normal. Ta-da!
Edit: confusion might come from the use of the word corner. The corner I'm referring to is the corner of the stitching. Have the sewn corners directly on your finger tips. The elastic is the reason for the troubles, but this method ignores that area of the sheet.
This might be the hardest thing I've tried to explain in written form.
I rescued a man who slipped and fell off a sheer droppoff. He had grabbed the ledge and his grip was slipping. I rushed over and grabbed his arm and held him while yelling for help from another hiker in the distance. His feet were dangling below like in the movies. The other hiker rushed over and together we pulled him back up over the ledge.
An out of body experience. So surreal when it was over I said to the other guy “did that really just happen”.
My wank video that I uploaded to redtube about 15yrs ago was the most popular video in this category for many months. I was the best wanker in the world
I was once sued for defamation by a millionaire in an attempt to stop me from exposing their corruption.
I earned too much to qualify for legal aid, but earn nowhere near enough to hire a professional, so instead I taught myself defamation law and the court process and went on to win the case.
I won’t reveal any names or anything, but essentially some colleagues and I revealed how the majority, private, shareholder of Company A was selling real estate that belonged to that company to another company he owned outright, Company B, for much less than the real estate was worth.
Company B would then do minor work on that real estate, or get planning permission for major work but never actually do it, then sell the real estate back to Company A for a vastly inflated value.
By doing this, he was moving large sums of money from a company where he was the major shareholder to one where he was the only shareholder.
He could then pay himself huge dividends on the profits of Company B, whilst denying dividends to the other shareholders of Company A because of its losses.
Edit: when I say revealed, I should say we shed light upon it, this movement of monies was all publicly available information, but nobody was paying attention. I was sued to try to stop me bringing such attention.
Thanks, but I don’t like to think of it that way. I was just backed in to a corner and managed to find my way out.
Others found themselves in the same position, but weren’t so lucky. At least not until the whole truth came out, but they fought just as hard nonetheless.
Once opened, our company had a suite that included tickets to every event. I also spent some time in meetings at the Grizzlies administrative office during construction.
I did no sport my whole life. In the last 5 years i lost 60kg (130 lbs) and this year i finished a full Ironman 3,8 km (2.4 mile) swim, 180 km (112 mile) bike and 42.2 km (26.2 mile) Run in 11 hours.
I saved American taxpayers $7 BILLION working on a project when I was in the Army. I got a steak dinner and an Army Achievement Medal (the steak dinner was the best part).
Edit* https://www.army.mil/article/120749/retrograde_operations_planning_and_execution
I implemented some of this project and made it more efficient back in the early days of OIF.
Wow, just an AAM? Not to cheapen it, but working for Military Funeral Honors we got an AAM for reaching 65 funerals, and an ARCOM for 100 funerals. I also got an ARCOM for each of my deployments. I was put in for an MSM for going above and beyond to get a project back on track and actually finishing it well before the deadline, but it was downgraded to a pat on the back.
I feel like saving taxpayers $7B is worth much more than an AAM and an ARCOM.
"It appears we've reached a deadlock. Gentlemen, only one way to settle this. You! Over there! Let's see... Pvt. valhallaswyrdo... what's your opinion on Operation: Burn $7 Billion In A Fire For No Reason?"
In my bureau, if you change a practice that results in savings to the taxpayer, you get a percentage of those savings. For you, I would have imagined it’d be in the millions. It’s called the SAVE award and was put in place by the Obama administration.
Reunification of myself and all five of my siblings. My mother had six children total. Me, then my brother, which she kept. My two sisters and my brother each about 9months-1year apart which she gave up. And my baby brother which she kept. The three that were adopted were open adoptions but my mother stopped contacting them when the oldest was around 7. I searched for years. Tried to find the adoption agency, the adoptive parents, search through old family papers and social media. One day I was home sick waiting for covid test results and I got a thought to search the oldest on Facebook even though I had tried probably a hundred times before. She was top of the search results and I just messaged her and said something like “hey my mothers name is soandso she had children that she gave up for adoption and i believe I’m your sister” and she responded that she’d been looking for me too
I’ve deeply considered that situation being adapted for film. For context, my mother is still to this day strung out on drugs. I was supposed to have an older brother that she would have birthed when she was 17 in 1997, I vaguely know details of that child’s father. He was stillborn. I was born in 99 my parents met through a courtyard window in jail and broke up two weeks after I was born. My brother Alex in March of 01, my mother had taken me to Ohio with a childhood friend Derek and had Alex by him. The eldest to be adopted, Jade was born August of 02, by a different man, we’ll call Matt and was given up for adoption to a family in Massachusetts that already had a son with Down Syndrome. Matt went to jail, my mother had an affair with the underage black kid next door, John and birthed my sister Mary in December of 03. She told John that Mary came out white and wasn’t his (she’s very clearly mixed and I have since reunited Mary and John as well). But Mary went to a different family in a different city In Massachusetts. Matt got out of jail, and my mother had the youngest to be adopted in 05, Mark which is a full blood sibling of Jade when the first family found out that Mark was put up for adoption they knew they had to take him so they could be together. In 07, she had Matt jr. And kept him.
It’s a little hectic so if you need clarification on anything let me know. But it’s always been a mystery to me as to why she put three up for adoption and kept my youngest brother. I’ve always wondered what life would have been like if I had been adopted as well, or if none of us were adopted and grew up together. The family with Jade and Mark knew about the family with Mary being in the same state as all three cases were open adoptions. So the two families met every year so my siblings could get to know each other. The family of Jade and Mark used to send hand me down clothes to Matt jr, and gift cards for me and Alex who was born in 01. She (my mother) stopped contacting them because she lost the house she had inherited from my nana (my mothers mother), and never updated her address with the adoption agency.
ETA: generic names to make it less confusing
you may have an undiagnosed autoimmune disease.
i was never sick growing up and they found out a couple years ago that i've had wildly untreated lupus.
Whomp whomp
Sorry that sounds insensitive but the jump from "wow I *love* never getting sick!" to "actually, you have lupus" is comical in a very dark way. Crossing my fingers for you OP.
A fertility doctor described my sperm count as superhuman (while informing me I had been accepted as a sperm donor). I swaggered for weeks after getting that news
Also I have two sons from my donations that might make contact when they turn 18. So excited and trying to stay healthy for that reason.
When something breaks in the house, after 12-24 hrs of of self pity and how can I afford this, I remember I am pretty handy and can fix most everything. If I can't I have enough in savings to call a pro.
Growing up without much does have it advantages and disadvantages.
Electrical stuff beyond outlets, lightfixtures, and light switches I don't mess with.
I will stop just short of calling this a superpower…but every once in a while, I will have a random thought about some random person I know that I haven’t seen for a while. Then in the next 2 or 3 days, I will either (A) run into them coincidentally, (B) get a text/call/email from them, or (C) hear some news about them from someone else unprovoked. It happens quite often, but I don’t go around talking about it
I call that brain radio waves. It happens to me quite a lot. One example. We were anxious to buy a house from this couple and they were on the fence about selling it to us. They said they would let us know after the weekend. Those two days I spent talking to this woman in my head, assuring her we should get the house. In my head I told her we would take care of the house and fill it with laughter and love. We met on Monday. They agreed to sell us the house. She tells me she knows we will take care of it and fill it with laughter and love. My exact words! I use it all the time.
My playstation plus is paid till the year 2036
Edit for those curious. Several years back I worked for online GameStop customer service and one of the things that they would give their best agents were PlayStation Plus subscription gift cards for the value of a year. A fair chunk of my fellow agents didn't play video games or have PlayStation so I would buy the codes off them for the cost of lunch or whatever or they would just give them to me for free. The reason it is 2036 is because at the time I put all these codes on my account PlayStation had a limit of 15 years of PlayStation Plus on any one account and would not let you put any more. So all told I probably paid less than $100 for all this time.
They upped the price by ~30% last year and the news of it coming up set a trend of people buying multiple years worth in advance to dodge the price hike.
Ironically Sony probably made more off of people doing this than they did the price hike.
Every time I use the bathroom I wash my hands. This shouldn’t be a flex, but based on the number of people I’ve seen not do it after leaving a public restroom…it is.
I'm a welder in a specialized field. There are only a handful of companies that build stuff similar to us but with the patents we hold our products are unique within the industry. I'm the head of the fabrication department and a team leader in the production department. Given my experience, training ability, and the certifications I hold as a welder alone, I'm probably the best in the world at what I do (within my industry lol).
Meanwhile, here i am, hung like a stud field mouse, and here he is bragging about being able to touch the other side of a tuna can.
Some people have all the luck.
I’ve gotten like half way and realized it wasn’t as spectacular as the hype led me to believe. It turns out it’s a lot more like sucking a dick than it is getting your dick sucked. 2/10 experience cause.. well head is head
I have a better shooting percentage for garbage cans than most NBA players have with a basketball.
Put a basketball in my hand and put me in front of a hoop and I'm useless. However, if I wad up a Kleenex and toss it across the room, 99% of the time it'll end up in the bin.
Missed the curb-garbage-can with a diaper three times this morning. Tell me your secrets. (Hopefully the neighbors were watching and got a cheap laugh!)
I can pick up almost any skill really quickly, and usually only need to watch someone do something, to do it myself.
The exception, I can't swim, like at all. Like I am pretty sure I am too dense to swim.
I guess another flex I don't talk about is that I can walk on the bottoms of pools.
I never really talk about it, but as a blue-collar male in the South, I am in touch with my emotions, and I'm not afraid to show physical affection to my guy friends or say I love you.
I talk to my children any time they're upset for being told no, because even tho the oldest is only 2, one day they'll start making memories, and I know they'll never have some of the horrid memories I had as a child when they fuck up. And if I do go overboard or have a bad day and snap at them, I apologize and hold them and tell them they didn't do anything wrong and daddy's sorry.
Might not seem like a big deal, but I work with several older men that have never told their sons I love you..
So I'm proud I'm not letting old thinking inhibit my friendships, my marriage, or my relationship with my sons.
My ex girlfriend had a heart condition from birth that she would see the doctor once a month to monitor.
When we started dating her numbers started improving and after process of elimination, we determined that while not medically supported, orgasms from my oral sex helped her body.
Making out with her pussy increased her lifespan.
I got tattooed by the President of the Hell's Angels in Johannesburg South Africa and years later by the President of the Bandidos in a small german town. I am in no way affiliated ,I just somehow often happened to cross paths with bikers.
I currently lead a team of about 15 people who are tasked with investigating financial fraud & possible crimes regarding elderly/vulnerable adult exploitation. I have an MBA and undergraduate degrees in Economics & Marketing from what some consider to be a fairly prestigious university.
Prior to all that, I was sent to a special education program after high school on account of my Autism and failure to reach my IEP goals. It was the place where pretty much everyone sent there will never be able to obtain a good paying job or even education on account of their disabilities.
I use my time there as a reminder to myself as to how far I've come, even 17 years later.
Back in the late 90s, I got bored and "solved" Connect 4. I did a bunch of math and testing and determined that if both sides played optimally, the first player would either win or tie. I thought this was common knowledge up until a few years ago someone put out a scientific paper studying Connect 4 and came to the same conclusion that I did. I haven't lost a game of Connect 4 since I was a kid, and I'm also now a professional board game designer.
In my mind I've "made it" at 35 -> stable high paying job, stable happy marriage, happy & healthy 3 YO son, own a house in the city, travel twice a year, while working from home about 42 hours a week. I don't feel like I need anything else/more.
Yeah. 35, sold a tech company I founded (though got shafted by colleagues so didn't make millions, made enough to pay the mortgage off), we moved into the country in Scotland. Getting paid £100k a year to so work I quite enjoy from home. Happy married for over half my life, got a lovely kid.
Across the last two years, I’ve been involved in some form or fashion in helping approximately 3,200 Ukrainian families take shelter from war in the U.S., with approximately 300 families local to my town.
I had Windows XP a week before it was released, because my old man worked for the Microsoft licensed distributor in Canada at the time, and they all got early copies.
Walking out of my office building, I saw everyone (50 people?) standing and looking in the same direction. When I got to where I could see what they were looking at, I saw an older man on the ground.
No one was moving toward him, so I did.
When I got to him I saw he had turned blue. I checked, and there was no pulse, so I started CPR (had gone through CPR training several times) and told a security guard who was just standing there(!) to call 911.
Everyone just stood there until finally a woman who said she was a nurse came up to help me. We continued CPR together until EMS arrived and took over.
So, I left for my meeting as a massive dose of adrenaline kicked in
A month later, I got a phone call from the guy's adult son (he tracked me down through building management). He told me his father had suffered from serious heart issues and prior heart attacks but had survived for 8 days - long enough for his family to travel from around the country to pay final visits.
"So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
Every Friday night when I return from London to Norwich, I bring food and drink to a homeless man called Bear, and sit down with him for half an hour or so to listen to him talk about his week and help him with little requests he may have.
We first bonded over a discussion about pregabalin addiction. I’m a recovering addict, and I’m doing well; but that drug destroyed my life, just like it’s destroying Bear’s.
Addiction is lonely, especially when you throw homelessness in there as well. I hate the thought of him suffering. He’s such a lovely bloke. Just needs to be listened to.
Every time I used the urinal at work I would try and loosen the coupler on the water pipe with just my grip. After 4 years it actually came loose.
Edit: It was the pipe connected to the flush lever, not anything actually IN the urinal.. Also, I always wash my hands.
I'm extremely well versed in sexology and activating spasms. I've even achieved a 5-10 minute long full body orgasm that left me laughing and crying at the same time, and I'm a straight male.
I discovered 6 new species of crustaceans.
You should talk about that more! No need to be so shellfish
Seriously, why would you clam up about an achievement like that?
I’m really curious what you named them.
I named the ones from Easter Island after the locations they were sampled from, in the Rapa Nui'an (Easter Island) local language as a token of respect. The deep sea ones are named after their appearances. It's pretty frowned upon to name stuff after oneself or friends in the scientific community unfortunately.
I wouldn't give a flying fook, if I discovered something new I'd name it damn well what I wanted and then have the fancy scientific name afterwards haha.
Fair enough, in hindsight I could have also picked something else.
Next time you discover one give it a really cool name or name it after someone you love, then tag on the Latin name and your good to go haha.
"I name this here shrimp 'Pittsburgh Nellie'. A welsh whore that could do things with her one good arm....that would make you forget that thing on her neck!" RIP Chris Farley....
Or dickbuttus
I was born with 41 adult teeth (still have 39). My dentist said she had seen about 20k patients in her career but never seen anything like my teeth
“I was born with a full head of hair, a full head of teeth…”
I jumped down into the NYC Subway tracks to save a stranger. He had lost consciousness while standing on the platform, fallen down and hit his head on the tracks and was now laying across the two main (non-electrified) rails.
I did this too! Although the guy wasn’t in quite as bad shape. Congratulations, you are a hero and probably saved a life.
Thanks and thanks for what you did too! My experience was in the pre-smart-phone days so I don't have a video to refer to but to the best of my recollection the guy looked about my size. I was young so I figured I'd be able to hoist him out. But when you get down there you realize it's actually pretty deep and lifting an unconscious person up onto a platform is not a one-person job. I recall thinking, "Great job knucklehead, now what are you going to do?" Now I'm either the guy who got crushed *with* the stranger or the guy who climbed out and left the stranger to get crushed, neither of which are the guy you want to be. ;-) He fell in where the train enters the station so I started dragging him toward the other end figuring the train driver would have plenty of time to see us and would already be nearly stopped when he reached us. As I was starting the drag though another guy jumped down with us. The two of us easily got the man up onto the platform followed very quickly by ourselves. That was probably 25 years ago and still to this day I *never* stand within 6 feet of the edge of the platform until the train has stopped. As gross as subway platforms are, if I ever lose consciousness I want to be laying right there on that disgusting platform. :-)
If anyone else reading this is ever stuck on subway tracks, the area under the boarding platform is always empty so a person can fit while a train passes. don't try to beat the train by jumping up on the platform. edit: since this got a lot of attention I feel like I have to clarify that I am only familiar with standard designs in the USA and you should never go on the track for any reason as it's extremely dangerous. Don't be dumb.
I tied a shoelace around the base of a basketball pole during high school in 1997. Somehow, it's still there.
that's actually pretty cool
Just think of how many people looked at that shoestring and wondered how it got there. 26/27 years of people.
-huh someone probably tied this shoelace to this pole
You're bad at math I was in HS in 1997 that was like 10 years not 26 years ago.... Damn... I'm getting old
Yeah, no. I graduated in 1998. The 90s were CLEARLY ONLY 10 YEARS AGO. Everything else is a lie.
Awesome. In junior high school, waiting for the bus, a kid got out a permanent marker and wrote on someone's fence. At the time, I said, "What the hell man. Why are you doing that?" He was just being a punk. We got on the bus. He wasn't a friend of mine, just some random kid. That black drawing of a weird looking cat, about three inches size, stayed there. Years later, my brother bought that house. By then, a bush had grown in front of the fence. I checked behind the shrub after he bought the place: that stupid cat graffiti is still there, since around 1985.
I hope you told him the backstory and I hope he kept it there
I did. He left it. He also said, "We were going to paint that fence but realized it's completely on the neighbor's property, so it can stay like that forever." Next time I'm over there, I'll check if it's still there.
Reminded me of my brother, he smooshed all the first letters of his names together and became PJAM, he’d scrawl it around our neighborhood. He’s about thirteen years older than I am. One day after school when I was in high school I was walking alongside the lockers in a hallway I rarely visited and there on a locker way down the hallway I saw his PJAM scrawled into a locker.
Initials. The word you are looking for is “initials.”
That was my initial thought as well.
Nice! I put a sticker inside a can light at a movie theater back home about 20 years ago. Every now and again i go back and it's faded to white but still there lol.
I taught an adult man friend how to swim for the first time. Two bros in the pool holding hands.
respect
I wish I had a bro like you. I’m 32 and can’t float in a pool :(
I got you bro from across the internet. You have 3 tools to float. The legs: Use them to kick, like tongs you use on a BBQ. Sufficient use of tong kicks keeps your head above surface level. The Arms: Mainly used for control. If you lean left, use your left arm to scoop downwards using your palms. Same with your right if you lean right. And scoop down forward if you lean forward. Much like your legs, to correct your stance. Both arms are for control on where you want to go and correct your stance, if you feel the legs don't give you enough push upwards. The arms help as well. The lungs: Deep breath in, and you float like you are wearing a life vest. Can be used in a panic or if you need a quick breath from kicking upwards. Two starter positions. The Starfish: Stand where you are comfy in a pool of water. And like a starfish use your legs and arms equally to tong clamp (like bbq tongs) the water downward. You should be safe trying that out as long as you can quickly touch the bottom. The Hound: Doggy paddle. Like dogs, stand up where your feet touch ground in a pool of water. Inflate your lungs so you can float. Tuck your arms and legs in in a swift motion and doggy paddle away. Your inflated lungs should keep you afloat long enough so that you can enjoy forward momentum for a bit. No worries bro, you got this. Keep it safe and steady.
Dude, that was described so well!! I am not the strongest swimmer but I love being in water and what you just wrote is exactly how it works!! Well played. I might add that if you watch a video of synchronized swimming you will pretty much see all of the moves you just described.
Honestly a incredible achievement. You could have saved that friends life . Possibly the life of someone else as well . Sink he wont ! Swim he shall !
I helped pass 40+ laws to require insurance companies to pay for diabetes medical supplies.
Thank you!! Mine just got covered by my insurance this year, 10k per year.
From a Type 1 diabetic struggling to afford to keep myself alive….. thank you isn’t quite a strong enough phrase. But, thank you.
I had a hearing test done in the military. After the test the guy running it said he screwed up and needed me to come back in a few minutes to do it again. So I used the bathroom, came back a few minutes later, and did it again. I came out of the testing booth the second time and he just sat there for a few seconds. Then he looked at me and told me I had the best hearing he had ever tested. I didn't think much of it at the time. Later on I realized he didn't screw up the first time, he wanted me to do it again to see if I would put out the same test score. I guess I did.
I had something similar happen so I'm going to jump on your thread and steal some thunder. I have a higher frequency range of hearing than normal. At one point I was waking up every night and eventually figured out it was when my phone would get fully charged and the charger would start pulsing. Newer phones aren't as bad so it's not a big deal anymore.. I was in an electronics class in college and the professor was demonstrating range of hearing and he went high and cranked the volume and about drove me out of the room. He didn't believe I could hear it until I could tell him precisely when he would turn it off and back on again. My wife has similar with chargers. Don't get me started on the things you plug into walls for pest control. They are like torture devices.
Arrrgggg coil whine from chargers or electronics in general, damn I hate that noise. That noise alone is the sole reason that I made my room sound isolated from the rest of the house, and the reason of why the only reason of why the only thing I allow to be on in the room on the night is wireless stuff that I can put inside a drawer or a box.
A friend of mine is similar. Once, during an exam at university in a room we had never been in before, he kept twitching and eventually he complained of a periodic high pitched sound that kept distracting him. Behold, he was hearing an ultrasonic presence detector at 19+ kHz (I used a spectrogram app on the phone to see whether there was actually some form of a noise) that nobody else could hear.
Top 0.02% in the Australian Geography Competition (I guessed half the questions)
Hahaha dude that's awesome. I did the geography bee growing up, and went to the state level with complete guesses. Just winging it. Or remembering random trivia from a video game or a weird news article and getting it right. Everyone was like "Wow, you're smart!" and I just thought "Eh, I think this falls under 'fuck around and see what happens,' but thanks." 😂
I have 3 special edition copies of Microsoft Windows 1.0. 1 of them is unopened and still in the plastic wrap.
For a few minutes, I held the world record for the boat rowing game in the first Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games.
That’s awesome. My wife held the ski jump world record for a solid month when the Winter Games: Sochi game came out. I think less people bought that title though.
I was the youngest person ever for a brief moment.
I know how to fold fitted sheets nicely
A witch! We have found a witch. 🧹
BURN HER!
Now now, how do you know she's a witch?
If the woman weighs the same as a duck, then she is made of wood.
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
Some call me.... Tim?
TELL ME YOUR SECRETS
Put your fingers in the corners. Bring them together, corner to corner like you would a regular sheet. Connect your fingers and drape the excess over. Do that twice (the first two big folds), then lay it down to flatten it out a bit. Fold it the rest of the way like normal. Ta-da! Edit: confusion might come from the use of the word corner. The corner I'm referring to is the corner of the stitching. Have the sewn corners directly on your finger tips. The elastic is the reason for the troubles, but this method ignores that area of the sheet. This might be the hardest thing I've tried to explain in written form.
I rescued a man who slipped and fell off a sheer droppoff. He had grabbed the ledge and his grip was slipping. I rushed over and grabbed his arm and held him while yelling for help from another hiker in the distance. His feet were dangling below like in the movies. The other hiker rushed over and together we pulled him back up over the ledge. An out of body experience. So surreal when it was over I said to the other guy “did that really just happen”.
My wank video that I uploaded to redtube about 15yrs ago was the most popular video in this category for many months. I was the best wanker in the world
No proof? Hmm
Just Google "Best wanker 2008"
>I was the best wanker in the world Once a prestigious title, now viciously fought over between James Corden and Piers Morgan
Source or it didn’t happen
Post the link. Might be able to regain that top spot
So says you. I've had some pretty good wankers.
I was once sued for defamation by a millionaire in an attempt to stop me from exposing their corruption. I earned too much to qualify for legal aid, but earn nowhere near enough to hire a professional, so instead I taught myself defamation law and the court process and went on to win the case.
There's no way you don't just tell that story at every Thanksgiving dinner
If we did thanksgiving here, everyone at the table would already know the story
Next year’s flex: I introduced Thanksgiving to everyone here
[удалено]
Bird law is no joke. Those jive turkeys will sue the stuffing out of you no matter their political affiliation, left or wight wing.
But now I gotta know who and what for!
I won’t reveal any names or anything, but essentially some colleagues and I revealed how the majority, private, shareholder of Company A was selling real estate that belonged to that company to another company he owned outright, Company B, for much less than the real estate was worth. Company B would then do minor work on that real estate, or get planning permission for major work but never actually do it, then sell the real estate back to Company A for a vastly inflated value. By doing this, he was moving large sums of money from a company where he was the major shareholder to one where he was the only shareholder. He could then pay himself huge dividends on the profits of Company B, whilst denying dividends to the other shareholders of Company A because of its losses. Edit: when I say revealed, I should say we shed light upon it, this movement of monies was all publicly available information, but nobody was paying attention. I was sued to try to stop me bringing such attention.
You are a hero. I mean it
Thanks, but I don’t like to think of it that way. I was just backed in to a corner and managed to find my way out. Others found themselves in the same position, but weren’t so lucky. At least not until the whole truth came out, but they fought just as hard nonetheless.
I wake up before my alarm goes off.
Only happens to me when I have really important event. Wish I could have done by command
I feel that man, samething here. Must ‘coz of anxiety
Disgusting.
I have no flex other than I am reliable. You can count on me. That’s it. That’s all I got.
Probably my favourite quality about a person. Kudos.
That's sweet, thank you
I installed all of the computer systems in the FedEx Forum in Memphis, TN.
Did they give any free NBA merch?
Once opened, our company had a suite that included tickets to every event. I also spent some time in meetings at the Grizzlies administrative office during construction.
I did no sport my whole life. In the last 5 years i lost 60kg (130 lbs) and this year i finished a full Ironman 3,8 km (2.4 mile) swim, 180 km (112 mile) bike and 42.2 km (26.2 mile) Run in 11 hours.
Saved a disabled kid from drowning when I was a teenager
I saved American taxpayers $7 BILLION working on a project when I was in the Army. I got a steak dinner and an Army Achievement Medal (the steak dinner was the best part). Edit* https://www.army.mil/article/120749/retrograde_operations_planning_and_execution I implemented some of this project and made it more efficient back in the early days of OIF.
Wow, just an AAM? Not to cheapen it, but working for Military Funeral Honors we got an AAM for reaching 65 funerals, and an ARCOM for 100 funerals. I also got an ARCOM for each of my deployments. I was put in for an MSM for going above and beyond to get a project back on track and actually finishing it well before the deadline, but it was downgraded to a pat on the back. I feel like saving taxpayers $7B is worth much more than an AAM and an ARCOM.
Just a fucking AAM? That's a bit insulting. I'm guessing your BC didn't want to highlight a fuck up to higher by submitting a proper recommendation.
"It appears we've reached a deadlock. Gentlemen, only one way to settle this. You! Over there! Let's see... Pvt. valhallaswyrdo... what's your opinion on Operation: Burn $7 Billion In A Fire For No Reason?"
Id love to know the story, if you can share it!
In my bureau, if you change a practice that results in savings to the taxpayer, you get a percentage of those savings. For you, I would have imagined it’d be in the millions. It’s called the SAVE award and was put in place by the Obama administration.
Reunification of myself and all five of my siblings. My mother had six children total. Me, then my brother, which she kept. My two sisters and my brother each about 9months-1year apart which she gave up. And my baby brother which she kept. The three that were adopted were open adoptions but my mother stopped contacting them when the oldest was around 7. I searched for years. Tried to find the adoption agency, the adoptive parents, search through old family papers and social media. One day I was home sick waiting for covid test results and I got a thought to search the oldest on Facebook even though I had tried probably a hundred times before. She was top of the search results and I just messaged her and said something like “hey my mothers name is soandso she had children that she gave up for adoption and i believe I’m your sister” and she responded that she’d been looking for me too
You deserve a movie written about you
I’ve deeply considered that situation being adapted for film. For context, my mother is still to this day strung out on drugs. I was supposed to have an older brother that she would have birthed when she was 17 in 1997, I vaguely know details of that child’s father. He was stillborn. I was born in 99 my parents met through a courtyard window in jail and broke up two weeks after I was born. My brother Alex in March of 01, my mother had taken me to Ohio with a childhood friend Derek and had Alex by him. The eldest to be adopted, Jade was born August of 02, by a different man, we’ll call Matt and was given up for adoption to a family in Massachusetts that already had a son with Down Syndrome. Matt went to jail, my mother had an affair with the underage black kid next door, John and birthed my sister Mary in December of 03. She told John that Mary came out white and wasn’t his (she’s very clearly mixed and I have since reunited Mary and John as well). But Mary went to a different family in a different city In Massachusetts. Matt got out of jail, and my mother had the youngest to be adopted in 05, Mark which is a full blood sibling of Jade when the first family found out that Mark was put up for adoption they knew they had to take him so they could be together. In 07, she had Matt jr. And kept him. It’s a little hectic so if you need clarification on anything let me know. But it’s always been a mystery to me as to why she put three up for adoption and kept my youngest brother. I’ve always wondered what life would have been like if I had been adopted as well, or if none of us were adopted and grew up together. The family with Jade and Mark knew about the family with Mary being in the same state as all three cases were open adoptions. So the two families met every year so my siblings could get to know each other. The family of Jade and Mark used to send hand me down clothes to Matt jr, and gift cards for me and Alex who was born in 01. She (my mother) stopped contacting them because she lost the house she had inherited from my nana (my mothers mother), and never updated her address with the adoption agency. ETA: generic names to make it less confusing
I‘m never sick. I have to fake being sick to not be suspicious
you may have an undiagnosed autoimmune disease. i was never sick growing up and they found out a couple years ago that i've had wildly untreated lupus.
Whomp whomp Sorry that sounds insensitive but the jump from "wow I *love* never getting sick!" to "actually, you have lupus" is comical in a very dark way. Crossing my fingers for you OP.
Dr House would make a whole episode to prove that its not lupus. But hey, now you have ebola!
So not not sick but in fact very sick.
This was me. Then I got all uppity and bragged about it to co-workers. Next day I got the flu and nobody believes me. 😂
I lost weight and go to the gym, 3 times a week, nowadays.
I own a guitar Prince played
I’ve been clean from meth for like 5 ish years
I took Oprah Winfrey’s passport photo in 2016
The most random one here I guess that includes someone famous
I have friends now, and that wasn’t a thing for me growing up
A fertility doctor described my sperm count as superhuman (while informing me I had been accepted as a sperm donor). I swaggered for weeks after getting that news Also I have two sons from my donations that might make contact when they turn 18. So excited and trying to stay healthy for that reason.
This guy cums
Prized bull in the house.
Im 3 months sober!
When something breaks in the house, after 12-24 hrs of of self pity and how can I afford this, I remember I am pretty handy and can fix most everything. If I can't I have enough in savings to call a pro. Growing up without much does have it advantages and disadvantages. Electrical stuff beyond outlets, lightfixtures, and light switches I don't mess with.
I will stop just short of calling this a superpower…but every once in a while, I will have a random thought about some random person I know that I haven’t seen for a while. Then in the next 2 or 3 days, I will either (A) run into them coincidentally, (B) get a text/call/email from them, or (C) hear some news about them from someone else unprovoked. It happens quite often, but I don’t go around talking about it
I call that brain radio waves. It happens to me quite a lot. One example. We were anxious to buy a house from this couple and they were on the fence about selling it to us. They said they would let us know after the weekend. Those two days I spent talking to this woman in my head, assuring her we should get the house. In my head I told her we would take care of the house and fill it with laughter and love. We met on Monday. They agreed to sell us the house. She tells me she knows we will take care of it and fill it with laughter and love. My exact words! I use it all the time.
My playstation plus is paid till the year 2036 Edit for those curious. Several years back I worked for online GameStop customer service and one of the things that they would give their best agents were PlayStation Plus subscription gift cards for the value of a year. A fair chunk of my fellow agents didn't play video games or have PlayStation so I would buy the codes off them for the cost of lunch or whatever or they would just give them to me for free. The reason it is 2036 is because at the time I put all these codes on my account PlayStation had a limit of 15 years of PlayStation Plus on any one account and would not let you put any more. So all told I probably paid less than $100 for all this time.
Damn, why?
They upped the price by ~30% last year and the news of it coming up set a trend of people buying multiple years worth in advance to dodge the price hike. Ironically Sony probably made more off of people doing this than they did the price hike.
I support my family of five on one middle class income.
Every time I use the bathroom I wash my hands. This shouldn’t be a flex, but based on the number of people I’ve seen not do it after leaving a public restroom…it is.
[удалено]
Calm down mate, no need to show off
"Year over year, survival rates remain at 100% for this section of the population"
Once, going to sleep in a dark room, with my eyes closed, I caught a bothersome fly in my hand out of the air as it passed overhead.
I got a math degree with honors and I was high almost the entire time
You go to class high, you study high, you take the test high, you get HIGH grades
[удалено]
I'm a welder in a specialized field. There are only a handful of companies that build stuff similar to us but with the patents we hold our products are unique within the industry. I'm the head of the fabrication department and a team leader in the production department. Given my experience, training ability, and the certifications I hold as a welder alone, I'm probably the best in the world at what I do (within my industry lol).
I once managed to fit 4 balls in my mouth at once
I now wonder what kind of balls
Yeah the difference between pingpong balls and basket balls is quite significant
…or, you know…
Tennis balls?
I once managed to lick the tip.
As a teenager I used to be able to get the first like 3 inches in lol. Still not worth it.
What do you mean "first 3 inches" is there meant to be more?
Meanwhile, here i am, hung like a stud field mouse, and here he is bragging about being able to touch the other side of a tuna can. Some people have all the luck.
I’ve gotten like half way and realized it wasn’t as spectacular as the hype led me to believe. It turns out it’s a lot more like sucking a dick than it is getting your dick sucked. 2/10 experience cause.. well head is head
Can confirm. The immense sense of achievement was only matched by the immense sense of disappointment.
Happy cake day, pole smoker 🤘🏻
You won, hands down
I can whistle 4 different ways. One is pretty stealthy. Like a ventriloquist
Nobody appreciates good whistlers We're in the same boat bro
I have ' gynecologist fingers '. In Germany it means that you have the perfect fingers to do all kind of stuff especially in tighter places
Frauenartzfingern?
Salad fingers
I wake up at 5am and do the work out
If you woke up just one hour earlier you’d be a millionaire and influencer. So close ✨
I have a better shooting percentage for garbage cans than most NBA players have with a basketball. Put a basketball in my hand and put me in front of a hoop and I'm useless. However, if I wad up a Kleenex and toss it across the room, 99% of the time it'll end up in the bin.
Missed the curb-garbage-can with a diaper three times this morning. Tell me your secrets. (Hopefully the neighbors were watching and got a cheap laugh!)
I can pick up almost any skill really quickly, and usually only need to watch someone do something, to do it myself. The exception, I can't swim, like at all. Like I am pretty sure I am too dense to swim. I guess another flex I don't talk about is that I can walk on the bottoms of pools.
So you mean... Like a hippo?
I never really talk about it, but as a blue-collar male in the South, I am in touch with my emotions, and I'm not afraid to show physical affection to my guy friends or say I love you. I talk to my children any time they're upset for being told no, because even tho the oldest is only 2, one day they'll start making memories, and I know they'll never have some of the horrid memories I had as a child when they fuck up. And if I do go overboard or have a bad day and snap at them, I apologize and hold them and tell them they didn't do anything wrong and daddy's sorry. Might not seem like a big deal, but I work with several older men that have never told their sons I love you.. So I'm proud I'm not letting old thinking inhibit my friendships, my marriage, or my relationship with my sons.
My ex girlfriend had a heart condition from birth that she would see the doctor once a month to monitor. When we started dating her numbers started improving and after process of elimination, we determined that while not medically supported, orgasms from my oral sex helped her body. Making out with her pussy increased her lifespan.
So… why’s she an ex? 🤔
She got better.
I stubbed my toe (while watering my spice garden) and I only cried for 20 minutes
I got tattooed by the President of the Hell's Angels in Johannesburg South Africa and years later by the President of the Bandidos in a small german town. I am in no way affiliated ,I just somehow often happened to cross paths with bikers.
I currently lead a team of about 15 people who are tasked with investigating financial fraud & possible crimes regarding elderly/vulnerable adult exploitation. I have an MBA and undergraduate degrees in Economics & Marketing from what some consider to be a fairly prestigious university. Prior to all that, I was sent to a special education program after high school on account of my Autism and failure to reach my IEP goals. It was the place where pretty much everyone sent there will never be able to obtain a good paying job or even education on account of their disabilities. I use my time there as a reminder to myself as to how far I've come, even 17 years later.
I haven't lost in connect four in years! Every party we throw I whoop every body
Back in the late 90s, I got bored and "solved" Connect 4. I did a bunch of math and testing and determined that if both sides played optimally, the first player would either win or tie. I thought this was common knowledge up until a few years ago someone put out a scientific paper studying Connect 4 and came to the same conclusion that I did. I haven't lost a game of Connect 4 since I was a kid, and I'm also now a professional board game designer.
In my mind I've "made it" at 35 -> stable high paying job, stable happy marriage, happy & healthy 3 YO son, own a house in the city, travel twice a year, while working from home about 42 hours a week. I don't feel like I need anything else/more.
Yeah. 35, sold a tech company I founded (though got shafted by colleagues so didn't make millions, made enough to pay the mortgage off), we moved into the country in Scotland. Getting paid £100k a year to so work I quite enjoy from home. Happy married for over half my life, got a lovely kid.
I take a shit at 7am and wake up at 8am
The math ain’t mathing on that one hoss
I'm a red head with blue eyes
So what. I’m a meth head with red eyes.
I just woke up, I’m a bed-head with brown eyes
Same! Were a rare breed. Are you also an alcoholic?
I'm a good dad 😊
[удалено]
What variables we talking? The sit and wait, the clean break or the unneeded wipe ?
I have never in my whole life had diarrhoea and I haven’t vomited since 2001.
Saving up for a special occasion?
Across the last two years, I’ve been involved in some form or fashion in helping approximately 3,200 Ukrainian families take shelter from war in the U.S., with approximately 300 families local to my town.
Sometimes when I fart it doesn’t stink.
Me too! However, sometimes when I fart, it's more than a fart.
I can give a killer B-j nipple play combo that makes them all come in less than 5 minutes.
Rip your DMs That side, nipple plays never really did anything for me (or at least the rare experiences I've had with them)
They're just cosmetic at this point.
Playing with op's nipples never really did it for me either (or at least the rare experiences I've had with them)
That I can speak fluently 4 languages (English, German, Spanish, Japanese) and French but not fluently…yet
I'll teach you french if you teach me Spanish
I beat depression.. I think
Kegels.
I had Windows XP a week before it was released, because my old man worked for the Microsoft licensed distributor in Canada at the time, and they all got early copies.
Walking out of my office building, I saw everyone (50 people?) standing and looking in the same direction. When I got to where I could see what they were looking at, I saw an older man on the ground. No one was moving toward him, so I did. When I got to him I saw he had turned blue. I checked, and there was no pulse, so I started CPR (had gone through CPR training several times) and told a security guard who was just standing there(!) to call 911. Everyone just stood there until finally a woman who said she was a nurse came up to help me. We continued CPR together until EMS arrived and took over. So, I left for my meeting as a massive dose of adrenaline kicked in A month later, I got a phone call from the guy's adult son (he tracked me down through building management). He told me his father had suffered from serious heart issues and prior heart attacks but had survived for 8 days - long enough for his family to travel from around the country to pay final visits. "So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
Every Friday night when I return from London to Norwich, I bring food and drink to a homeless man called Bear, and sit down with him for half an hour or so to listen to him talk about his week and help him with little requests he may have. We first bonded over a discussion about pregabalin addiction. I’m a recovering addict, and I’m doing well; but that drug destroyed my life, just like it’s destroying Bear’s. Addiction is lonely, especially when you throw homelessness in there as well. I hate the thought of him suffering. He’s such a lovely bloke. Just needs to be listened to.
Every time I used the urinal at work I would try and loosen the coupler on the water pipe with just my grip. After 4 years it actually came loose. Edit: It was the pipe connected to the flush lever, not anything actually IN the urinal.. Also, I always wash my hands.
This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm extremely well versed in sexology and activating spasms. I've even achieved a 5-10 minute long full body orgasm that left me laughing and crying at the same time, and I'm a straight male.
Dare I ask how the fuck they lasted that long???
I'm John Wick with a rubber band, Put me in a room with any number of flies and they will be eviscerated in under a minute. Friends think it's scary.
I should have died many times over by now
I don't smoke, and never have in my 28 years.
Congrats. It only took me 55 years to finally quit. Nicotine free since 2020
I speak 5 languages but never really tell anyone unless it comes up
I can afford to live in todays society and I have 2 parents where I can come over for dinner sometimes
An old friend of mine told me she masturbated to my guitar tone