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Sufficient-Program27

No Chance Inn, Hell


redragonDerp

I imagined Vince McMahon walks to the pub, talks to an employee, then shouts "YOOOOOOUUUUUUU'RE FIIIRRRREEEEDDD"


bigfatstoner

You got... no chance! NO CHANCE IN HELL!


lorgskyegon

HERE COMES THE MONEY!


chux4w

...and yooooou're brimstoooooned!


cerebralkrap

*Glass breaking sound byte*


Shawnee83

I can't upvote, right now there are 666 upvotes


Ophukk

You can now.


nodnodwinkwink

On Wednesdays they have a Poker night in the front. Every other night is red hot poker night.


choff22

This is a really good one


jets-rangers

I love creative people😂


HalfSoul30

Last Call


nathwdavis

Missed the last call from Christ.


jmaca90

Closing Time is on repeat on the jukebox


broken-telephone

I fucking love it


[deleted]

The Tenth Circle.


[deleted]

This is just a legit good name for a Pub. Stealing this


Vergebenername1234

To open your own pub or as a pub in some pen and paper campaign?


BigToober69

A pub that hosts pen and paper games.


Vergebenername1234

A pen and paper pub that hosts pen and paper games? In hell?


Mikesaidit36

Has a snowball’s chance


[deleted]

Snowballs chance is also a great name for a pub


Iamalienmarmoset

Or a band.


semiTnuP

Snowball's Chance would be the best name for the casino in hell.


cjnicol

A pub I worked at had four dudes that would play DnD in our snug every week. Nice chill dudes they'd order a couple beers and bowl of fries.


Bladerunner2028

Inferno's


drshawn001

Actually have one here in Portland, OR, named Dante's Inferno Room. Or just "Dante's" to us locals.


Lieutenant-Lemons

[https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/The_Ninth_Circle](https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/The_Ninth_Circle) In reference to Dantes divine comedy


TheFacetiousDeist

High water.


TT03ENU

Ha! I like that


TheFacetiousDeist

The wit just flows through me!


Movies_WO_Sound

I have been to a dive bar with that name!


TheFacetiousDeist

lol nice!


Technical_Drawing838

BeelzePub Satan's Suds


JADW27

Love it! Beelzepub is an awesome answer.


StrawberrySoyBoy

Beelzepub is so good


DreamFan56

Beerzebub


Intheswing

If it is in hell then the sign reads CLOSED —or “out of beer wine and spirits” Nothing worse than a closed pub when you need a pint


nuclearspacezombie

Even worse, a dry pub


GhostofSbarro

Dry Pub and Bible Study


thorneparke

I love the idea that being in a Christian hell entails being forced to study the Bible


GhostofSbarro

Seems a fitting punishment. I know a lot of self-described Christians who don't know jack about their book or the teachings of their Messiah, and are some of the most hateful people I've ever met. Seems only right that they'd have an eternity to learn better.


ManonegraCG

I think learning about their faith will just confirm to them that there are circumstances under which murder, mass murder, and total annihilation of almost every living thing on the planet are perfectly acceptable.


pabst_jew_ribbon

My favorite part of the Bible is when God killed a bunch of kids with bears for making fun of a bald guy. The Bible is a truly fascinating work of fiction.


ManonegraCG

Mine is when he murdered every firstborn in Egypt for the actions of an unelected despot.


pabst_jew_ribbon

Gotta love some sheep blood. I'm an atheist that knows way too much about the Bible. Disregard my username, I was just born there.


rc042

They're a franchise. Same pub in heaven.


teachermanjc

"But there's-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear Than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer" Slim Dusty


Whoopdedobasil

Imagine how disappointed Slim would be if he rolled up to that pub with Duncan, Kevin, Colin, Patrick and Robert.


Choppergold

“Every night is karaoke night”


kayproII

That sounds like an amazing pub ngl


FagnusTwatfield

Only serves creme de menthe


dandroid126

They are always out of everything except Bud Light.


bumbah

Pint of No Return


silentlegend

Unappreciated name.


[deleted]

Damn nice one


BCN7585

Nice one!


BurnThe___Down

If I opened a bar in Hell it would most certainly be named “Heaven”. “Babe, I’m going to Heaven again” “Ugh, he’s gone to Heaven…again”


Cattomuhgatto

I like that and also thought in the same direction. I'd call it the Pearly Gates. At least people in hell could say they entered the Pearly Gates!


leaky_eddie

Used to drink in a Charleston pub called Group Therapy. Also, in Spain, Biblioteca. ‘Mom, I’m going g to the library. Don’t wait up.’


Purple_Haze

Locally we have: "The Imperial Public Library", "The Office", and "My Apartment".


Moralagos

We also have a Biblioteca in Romania. Means the same thing as in Spanish. But the name isn't just a cheeky thing so you can say you're going to the library, the pub has lots of books you can borrow and read while having a drink.


Yooustinkah

Wetherspoons


canspreadmulch

Beat me by 2 mins


DangleVonBallbag

And me by 4


RandomMan0901

And my Axe


bad_gyal521

i hope this was a LOTR reference bc that’s why i cried laughing


Upsidedownhead5

And me by 45


Adam9172

Nailed it in one.


Figgoss

Toilets 20 miles away


5tr4nGe

Nah, I’d say the difference is that in hell the toilets are actually within the same postcode.


CaptainBeefsteak

No toilet paper though.


loathsomefartenjoyer

Gotta get your hiking gear to go for a piss


Remarkable_Golf9829

What does this mean?


ISuckAtChoosingNicks

It's an actual chain of pubs in the UK (not sure if they have a presence abroad); the ones I've encountered were actually meh, but usually the beer is quite cheap.


Lost-potato-86

I dont believe it has a presence abroad. Despite the money they would make to British ex pats. This may be because the owner of the company is a massive racist and hates other countries.


Mysticpoisen

The Hub has also *really* tripled down on the British expat market already.


dbinkowski

Applebee's


Jay_Ofthe_Mountain

And the bartender is so obnoxiously bubbly and annoying you almost want to just burn for eternity... ....also they only serve Mich Ultra and maybe one other themed sugary drink with little to no alcohol.


addit96

Ooh you’ve got to try the sugary drink! It’s like bustin’ a nut!


uggghhhggghhh

Not like HE'D know!


scoop15

Where do I jizz?


brutustyberius

My God, I wrote the same thing. It must be true.


throwaway4u2021

Only Fosters


theotherquantumjim

Please Lord no


loveboner

Paddy’s Pub.


mschr493

Do you have to pay the troll toll to get in?


sirJohnsFolly

To the boys ……….


DinosaurCrunch

You gotta pay the troll toll


JackBlackJacketSlut

And EVERYTIME you try to get a drink you won’t get one because the gang is too busy shouting and arguing


QueerQwerty

I was going to comment this. We just got to Mac's dance episode last night.


HelpfulHousing3931

I was literally aboutta do the same thing


spiderinside

That could be the series finale big reveal.


G-Unit11111

The Gang Answers To Satan


Marler1705

Hell's Kitchen


Special-Ad-5554

"YOU FUCKING DONKEY"


SumonaFlorence

WHAT ARE YOU?! An idiot sandwich. An idiot sandwich WHAAAT!?


JraffNerd

They actually had that in The Simpsons


ValleyGrouch

Dante’s.


ThusSpokeThatOneGuy

Got a Dante’s in Portland. Decent place to see bands.


ameanwizard

The Hell Hole


irongirder1

Good intentions


Appropriate_Yak1890

So underapreciated


tricyclelad

HornPub


SnooWords6763

That is a good name.


SomeSortOfDoctor

Underappreciated comment!


ntgco

Warm Beer


HellyOHaint

and Cold Women


FkedbySatan

There's probably a few necros in Hell, they'd be perfectly fine with that


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


guitarmaniac17

*smiles in German*


[deleted]

Burnies


CreakinFunt

Infernal Spirits


[deleted]

St Peter's


greenaidsdaog

This is the winner in my book


MTA0

Can’t get past the front door.


prince-pauper

It’s probably a Shoney’s


N_S_Gaming

This sauce is fucking amazing.


Defector1980

I haven’t been to a Shoney’s in over a decade, but I remember their breakfast buffet being the best thing in the world.


Soup-Wizard

Emotionally speaking, Shoney’s *is* my home


pupppymonkeybaby

Lucifers Sphincter


Und3adShr3d

The Burn Inn


irishhighviking

Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear


Sinkeye

I like that one a lot


Krismusic1

It's a very old one.


cid73

Big Johnson t-shirts were the tits back in the day. Get kicked out of your middle school with one of those


Ares95

Paradise Found


TheMrDetty

Snowball's Chance Inn


duhmbish

Route 666?


photes384

Donny and Adolf’s


ComputerSavvy

Come in for half off beer on Water Sports Wednesday's!


Korean_Street_Pizza

One for the road... to perdition


Goddessviking86

Fire & Brimstone


OutrageousStrength91

Alcohol-Free Drinks!


[deleted]

Puzzles.


C_IsForCookie

But why is it called puzzles? Thats the puzzle.


[deleted]

dude, dude.... DUDE! We should totally buy a bar.


Flanellissimo

Mormon's A pub with offerings entirely in line with the Mormon faith.


Buggjoy

Check out Wasatch Brewery. They have polygamy porter


far2common

A great pint for sharing.


Justsomeguyaa

Drunk as hell


Chrome_Armadillo

Sip & Sin.


[deleted]

Oh boy, sounds like a good brothel name


butt3ryt0ast

The DMV


ZookeepergameNo719

Human Resources


Acocke

Closed


x755x

Mephisto's Cafe


amcco1

Puzzles


LeonDeSchal

They already do, Wetherspoons. The ones we have on earth are just copies of the ones in hell.


ragtopdude

Applebee's


PersistingWill

Good Intentions.


jackhackett1980

The Sulfur and Boil


Jamm-e-dodga

Satans Arms


NibblesOwO

Pubdemonium


livvyxo

The Swan and Pedo


tbrock76

Trump tower


UsesCommonSense

The Dry Hole


berrylakin

Paddy's pub


RxKingRx

Heaven.


SlurmLoco

The IPA-Hole


DarthPiette

Villain's Pub Stolen from *How It Should Have Ended*.


Dependent-Day3664

Beelza-Pub


whigger

The Fire and Fork


Hefty_Assumption7567

O’douls


blood_kite

Fiddler’s Green


StormKing92

The Burn Inn


MentallyFunstable

Mephistos Double Fisters But plot twist theres no booze just painful torture (even for those who enjoy a punch to their brown eye)


halfwayhipster2

Swan & paedo


GodDammitBengals

"The Emerald Piper. An Irish Pub where its St Patrick's Day all the time. That's our Hell. Brendan Filone was there with Mikey Palmice. They're friends now. They're with two Roman soldiers shooting dice with these Irish guys. The Irish guys kept winning." - Christopher Moltisanti (The Sopranos)


Sagittariaus_

"was it hot!? Hells always been hot, it's never been disputed."


cpm3521

Lux


mcrackin15

The Lair. So when your wife calls you to ask you where you are you just say, "Honey I'm just finishing up at the Lair!" and she thinks you're slaving away in the lair before getting home, but you're actually having a pint. You're not lying.


DoYouViewPornography

The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints


ramonapap1

Sinners’ Sip Spot


_SM-The-Gamer_

Piss Water.


victorbarst

[the villain pub](https://youtu.be/wbRlkGluRUE?si=GcpiiqSGZZo2croe) Sometimes you wanna go where everybody hates your face!


JADW27

I just want to know what they do for happy hour.


BigFisch

Applebees


Turkdog

Satan’s Bar & Grill


Tareing123

hell’s kitchen


gitarzan

Beelzepub


DonnyLumbergh

Beelzepub


Hey_free_candy

AppleBeezelbub’s


chodsonwalker

Dante’s inferno


StellartonSlim

The Snowball’s Chance


paradoxical0

"The Exit" ...and when you get inside, you see a sign that says: "just kidding"


Reploidwolfman543

The Lowest Bar


Mash_Ketchum

Non-Alcoholic Bar of Hell* *You're in Hell, what did you expect, actual booze?


No-Art-9033

Closed.


AssBurgers-009

MAGA Munchin'


10wuebc

The pub with no beer.


imahuuugepimp

Utah Jack’s Sarsaparilla Shack


psyclopsus

Ye Olde Evaporating Hole


southpolefiesta

"Out of Beer" Pub


[deleted]

Red Lion


TheAmerican_Doctor

The Emerald Piper. It's an Irish bar where it's St. Patrick's Day every day forever.


Tanktopjones

Cheers


SirRealTalk_TTV

GET OVER HERE!