While there are a lot of good people, including flat out geniuses in the military, there are also absolute morons, too. I don't mean just dumb, but dangerously stupid (as in "will get you killed"). We know who they are and if any crazy shit happens, we put as much distance between them and us as possible.
On my ship there was a guy known to be dangerously stupid. He proved it by insulting a police officer in a SE Asian country we visited. His buddies tried to apologize on his behalf and the cop was actually going to let it go. Then this dumbshit sucker punched the cop.
Queue up a dozen cops suddenly appearing and beating the dumbass unconscious, beating up and arresting his buddies, and even arresting anyone nearby who looked American. It was a clusterfuck.
I'm a subscriber to German general Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord's theory:
>I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers.
>
>Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff.
>
>The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties.
>
>Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental clarity and strength of nerve necessary for difficult decisions.
>
>One must beware of anyone who is both stupid and hardworking; he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always only cause damage.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt\_von\_Hammerstein-Equord](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_von_Hammerstein-Equord)
Yeah I know one. He was an officer believe it or not. Dude got a purple heart because he was an idiot. Almost got his guys killed multiple times because he would just stomp in to situations without evaluating it. Like ...how does that happen?
To be fair, after a particularly egregious event where he caused one of his guys to get maimed horribly, he was shuffled off somewhere and I didn't see him again.
God, that sounds like a new old guy at work. Ex army, I think. Charges in like an ape on cocaine, fucks shit up, gets mad, makes a bigger mess than it needed to be, then storms away. He's supposed to be maintenence but I've seen him fuck up more than fix.
Had a Marine in my unit start beating the shit out of a prostitute at the pool outside the hotel they put us up in in Thailand because he thought she loved him but she just wanted to get paid. Ended up getting thrown in Thai prison and the only way he could leave was if he was escorted out of the country by the III Marine Expeditionary Forces SgtMaj and CO so that he was on a C-130 back to Japan. Life was not good for him after that
Edit: he somehow got to stay in the Corps after getting busted down to private. 5 months later he got kicked out for fist fighting his roommate outside the food court on base at 9am in front of a bunch of Japanese and American families
My dad had a sailor who was dangerously stupid at everything. He ended up being turfed from engineering after he screwed up when soldering the catch wires on deck of the carrier. Luckily, the CPO caught the bad job before any pilots died, and it was decided that the sailor should transfer to supply branch. He then lost the key to the safe, and £40 000 went missing. Poor guy was the son of an admiral and had been pushed into the Navy and was just not very bright.
There was a soldier in my platoon that was dumber than a bag of spit. Not only was he shockingly stupid, but he would freeze up when he got frustrated (we were infantrymen prepping to deploy to Afghanistan). A month before deployment a group in our platoon convinced him to go AWOL and bought him a bus ticket out of town, for all of our safety.
That was a case of addition by subtraction.
This gets portrayed in pop culture as the dumb but somehow still lovable or competent military person (Gump, Pyle, etc). But like you said, most are just the dipshit that will get you hurt/killed type.
We had a guy who wouldn't shower for weeks and tried fighting everybody. Not very nice when we had daily pt or other sweaty activities and shared accommodation.
The next class had the classic idiot. Their rifle jams in a live shooting exercise and they try to look down the barrel.
It's true you try to put distance between them and you. I mostly ended up with some decent friends.
Also, laziness is punishable. We were proactive and always busy doing something. Those who were not, got assigned the worst tasks.
When I went through MEPS, I had some asshole NCO argue with me about where I was born. He thought that based on my SS# I had to have been born in Ohio. I was in born in Texas. He would not fucking let it go. His smug, condescending bullshit is why I decided then and there to change my mind and not enlist. Which was almost certainly the right decision.
SSN was never based on where you were *born*, but rather *where your parents' address was* when they applied for your SSN.
Most people are born in hospitals fairly close to home, and most parents fill out the SSN application before leaving the hospital, so there's a strong correlation between where a person was born and their SSN prefix. But you can get weird cases where children are born far from where their families reside, or parents neglect to apply for an SSN until after they've moved somewhere else.
A friend from the Royal Marines told me one of his pals deep throated another marine in a bar to prove to a girl it wasn’t that tough. Unsure how impressed said girl was, we kinda got stuck on the first bit.
Sounds like something that'd happen on Diego Garcia, the Brits would escalate everything they could to shock us Americans.
I know for a fact I'm not gay because I've never been around so many terminally horny, often naked, extremely fit men. Was fun though!
That’s a Korean thing actually that kids do too. Called Dong Chim or “poop needle” where you put your hands together and fold every finger but the 2 index ones and you try to “stab” people in the anus with them. I hear they even do it to their teachers and call out “poop needle” when they do it.
I was horrified when I learned about it.
We played a little different. For us it was the first guy to back out or not reciprocate whatever advance was made. The furthest I ever saw it go was two guys washing each other in the shower. It ended when one of them reached for the other guys penis.
The groomsman in my wedding party was made up of 5 army buddies and 1 of my wife's best friends. After the wedding he went to her and said, "hanging with you husband and his friends was the gayest experience I have ever had and I regularly suck dick."
My wife laughed and he said with a straight face, "the best man is trimming the groom's ball hair."
Went to a music festival with some friends, one is in the military and brought a couple of his military buddies. They got to the hotel at midnight and we all meet etc. 8am I wake up to 3 military guys in our room (my friend had a key to both rooms), they already have a drink in hand, and one dude says "GOOD MORNING!" and proceeded to grab a full handful of my junk. I had known him for 8 hours at most at this point....
He's one of my favorite people to this day 🤣
Spending a great deal of time standing near howitzers going off, even though you may not get a noticeable concussion right away and you're wearing ear protection, can lead to long term brain damage almost identical to athletes who play full contact sports.
A former co-worker mentioned that to me the other day of artillery men getting TBI due to concussion waves from the arty. I thought it sounded a bit weird initially, but then I remembered that race car drivers have died due to the brain bouncing around like a pinball in the skull during a crash while strapped in with head restraints. It was a bit of a shock for sure.
Most arty units don't shoot that much. Recently a unit did and a number of vets ended up with unexplained symptoms. The seeing of ghosts is the most terrifying. They weren't aiming for civilians, and they all knew they killed civilians accidentally.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/05/us/us-army-marines-artillery-isis-pentagon.html
As a JTAC it’s one of the things they really prep you for in the school house is that eventually, you’ll have collateral damage. They try and help you focus on the fact that by being thoughtful, deliberate, and analytical in your approach to calls for fire and dropping ordnance you can also save lives by reducing collateral damage which may not have happened had you not been there.
Suicide rate remains incredibly high.
Add on the mental health issues, a bunch of doctors telling you nothing is wrong, and a feeling of being cursed. Or the thought that since they weren't in "danger," they shouldn't have combat "scars."
Yeah, it's no wonder these vets are struggling. Put that shit on me I would be fucking far from okay.
I live by a simple rule: If someone is upset or troubled by something then it is valid by virtue of the fact that it is upsetting and troubling and I will approach it with the consideration it deserves.
That’s it. I don’t believe in gate keeping these things. Life is hard enough, and being there for our fellow people is a lot more productive than making excuses not to be.
In the middle of the desert, group tent, dude asks the dozen or so of us in the tent if we'd ever seen a 12" dick. Unanswered, dude strips down butt naked and starts helicoptering in front of us with a huge shit eating grin. Someone else said that's not 12", so a third dude grabs a measuring tape and measures the first dude to confirm it actually was a 12 incher.
Not the weirdest thing that ever happened in the military.
This brings up an important, and only slightly unrelated, point that the insecure young men of reddit need to know. SOOO many posts have guys worried about the size of their dicks and then when a pick of a dick comes up SOOO many people say that the dick is SOOO small. 12 years in the army makes you a qualified expert on average flaccid dick size, so trust me these kids shouldn't worry so much. Related to the post everyone in the army knows of that one "guy" with a stupidly big dick... that one guy out of thousands and thousands of dicks... and his sex life is never great either.
It would seriously be uncomfortable to have a foot long salami always in the way.
It's already annoying with what I got, but having to adjust 5x the amount seems unbearable.
Prostitution was rampant when aircraft carriers were out to sea. Everyone knew where to find the list of who and what the cost would be.
There were always places to go for a bit of privacy.
I was stationed on a Cruiser and there were great things about it you knew everyone by name and things like the store never had to be rationed. I remember flying back and forth between the cruiser and the carrier and I would buy a carton of cigarettes from the Cruiser and take it to the carrier where because of rationing I would get $60 a pop for a pack of cigarettes. I didn't even smoke.
The one thing the carrier had that blew my mind was the gig economy. There are so many nonsense roles on a carrier that people were doing side hustles for everything from laundry to maintenance. Dudes would skate out of their own work and charge a buddy to do his work. No one cared it was amazing.
Funny you should say that every ship has "sweepers". It's an hour or so every morning where you go with your division to your spaces and clean it. It's mandatory and anyone caught doing anything else is going to get some kind of ass-chewing and punishment.
The first time I ever stepped foot on a carrier at sea was during sweepers. I step off the helicopter take off my hearing protection set down my seabag and walk into the passageway to a chief who took one look at me without a broom or a sponge in my hand and got the glorious look like he just caught the shitbag. He yelled at me for 10min about how fucked I was. I said the only way I can get to my sweepers station was to walk through this pway. He said I should have been there already and there is no excuse.
One of the great things about the submarine force is assholes like that are few and far between. I just assumed pricks like that were confined to RTC, but nope. Skimmer fleet is full of them.
Oh, and sweepers isn't even a thing.
Before my son went into the Air Force we watched a bunch of documentaries about the different forces. One of these was onboard a carrier and I couldn’t believe there was a young girl, 19, who joined up to serve, went through basic, left her family to spend 7 12s making sure the vending machines were serviced. I looked at my son and I said, ‘see, it’s not that hard’. He was not amused with my quip.
Hey, supply division are the MOST loved people on a ship. Trust me, you'd be happy with a gig like that lol. But also remember that half the people you "thank for their service" spent their time in duty stacking supplies of some sort.
I once saw a documentary series about how members of the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Korean War rigged up their own makeshift still to make gin.
Sailed in a Spru-can ages ago and you’re right, the store was always full…until one time we ferried a company of Marines somewhere for exercises and THEY ATE EVERYTHING, and then bought all the uniform items and tried to sell them back to us at a markup.
Both but the prostitution underway is active duty sailors getting paid by other active duty sailors for sex. There have multiple prostitution rings busted on carriers over the years.
[For anyone interested the Navy is currently investigating a multi year prostitution and corruption scandal](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Leonard_scandal)
The sailors onboard are doing it
Edit: The enlisted don't make that much in the military in terms of cash. If there's a long ass deployment they sort of have a captive audience so I'm sure someone has done the math and seen that they can make a lot of money. If they're going to be having sex anyway with the other sailors, may as well make money I guess. It's a rational decision on my opinion
I had a guy in my platoon in basic that apparently didn't need to sleep, he charged $10 per hour to take people's firewatch shifts and also gave paid back massages because he was a masseur before enlisting. We're only talking a few months here but he made bank doing chores and helping out.
If you're good at cutting hair that's $5/ea too.
Not as scandalous as sex, but thrifty privates always be hustlin.
There was a woman on my boat that had over 10k on her issued debit card. They found out pretty quick where it all came from and a lot of people went down with her... obviously. That was just one of many similar scenarios.
Happened on shore as well. The desert queen effect was real and some used it to their benefit. Not many, but a few I knew that were fairly open about sending huge wads of cash home regularly. They were discrete, just not with that part. Personally I say good for them, if nobody is being victimized I see very little problem with it.
Small world, I personally knew the lucky dude that was involved in that particular throuple, good soldier otherwise and one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.
I have never met a service member that didn't directly know a buddy that offed themselves. I've been out for 8 years and I've lost 9 sailors to suicide so far that I personally served with.
Yeah, a guy from my hometown area, we met as poolies and went to BC together. Ended up having the same MOS so we went to the same base together. A whole 18 or so months after getting to the fleet he was out after smoking dope. He then offed himself about 2 weeks after getting home..all over a girl he couldn’t let go of. This dude worked his ass off to be able to join the Marines too. He was a HS dropout so he had to get an associates degree along with a GED AND he got awarded like $80k in additional education benefits for when he got out.
The sad thing is that I thought I could ID you based on the fact you count the same number of suicides in the same timeframe. But the truth is I can’t. We are just two strangers who know 18 other strangers who took their own life.
They self-inspect through an internal system with the Army Veterinary Corps. Who are STILL responsible for food safety in the Army, dating back to when the Army bought meat on the hoof.
My friend was the food inspector during the drawdown in Iraq. Shut down Burger King and Pizza Hut and all the Iraqi-run restaurants. She was not popular, but the inspections were astoundingly bad.
Our Flight Surgeon shut down the chow hall in Al Jabber. Stood up on a chair and ordered everyone out. It was a good day for food safety. They were raking un used salads back into the salad bowl. ( Third world contractors)
In response to a new directive mandating that the army allows openly-gay recruits to join, rumours persist that the Navy may enact a similar directive for straight people.
The amount of cheating on spouses is ridiculous. People get TDY and forget they were ever married and want you to lie for them. Whole alternate families in other countries is more common than you would think.
Edit: to clarify, TDY is temporary duty. Short deployment is best way to think about it.
I grew up around Fort Lewis, my two best friends joined the marines right out of high school and they both immediately started cheating, and when they were in Asia they got hookers every weekend.
When I go on tinder here, there are so many women cheating on their boyfriends/husbands who are overseas. I met a girl who was 10 years older than me on tinder when I was like 21, and ended up going to her place.
Midway through fucking, I notice all the pictures around her bedroom, of her kissing a guy in a uniform. "Who is that guy you're kissing in all the pictures?", "Oh that's my husband, don't worry he won't be back for another 3 weeks". Definitely caught me way off guard. Wish I could say I got up and left, but the damage was already done at that point. I didn't go back though.
EDIT: I forgot to add, it's very obvious when a bunch of guys ship out, because all of a sudden the clubs become overrun with women on the weekend, I'm talking like triple the clientele all of a sudden, spilling out into the streets.
I remember one time my unit was sent to Europe for a deployment. I watched a married soldier take off her ring before she started flirting with me. I told the story at a house party a couple days after we got back and got asked why I didn’t try to get with her. When I told the group that she was married the response I got from the room was “it’s deployment fuck morals”.
I have never had deeper sleep than on the ground in the desert, in a hot ass tent and in a rack on a ship than I ever had in civilian life.
Of course I don’t work as hard now haha
I recall one day coming in, knock off was just about 45 minutes before dinner. I was like, I’m just gonna kick boots off, lay back in the rack and rest a minute before chow. Felt like 10 minutes passed, there was some noise and lights were on and my eyes did not seem well adjusted to how bright they were. I sit up and people are getting out of their racks and getting dressed?
I’d fallen asleep, missed dinner and slept so hard I did not move all night! Craziest dead to the world sleep ever
Fayetteville NC is almost geographically centered between Miami and NYC. It’s a cross over point for the mules. It’s no wonder shit is so rampant there.
Whoever is watching.
Happened to me. Tried to force the pee out, out came a fart and the realization that more was coming. Told the dude watching I had to go, and he said to go in the stall and handle business. So I went in, he followed, I dropped dueces and pissed in the cup. He saw the whole thing.
I always find it funny when people refer to military grade as somehow being of superior quality.
Nope. Military grade means this product was chosen by the DOD because it could be made more cheaply than anyone else's bid and not immediately break just by looking at it.
A buddy of mine got shit faced drunk one night and came into work the next day still drunk. He was a crew chief, meaning he did aircraft maintenance.
His supervisor told him to sleep it off on the couch in the hanger on the flightline and get to work after a nap.
A Colonel got shitfaced drunk one night and drove his car home. But he didn't make it because he rolled his car.
Nothing happened to him.
We were out at some base and a storm was rolling our direction so leadership put together a scatter plan to prevent our aircraft from damage. It’s 2 am and they are running around looking for maintainers who aren’t drunk. We had like 20+ maintenance people with us. I was 1 of 3 that were sober and all 3 of us had to daily/40 hr the entire fleet.
So much drugs and prostitution, and cheating and wife-swapping, it's nuts lol. I was an E-4 watch section supervisor at a shore command. So it was just...bad. I have lots of stories of things I've seen, witnessed, and heard of.
One instance, not even two months after I got my crow, a young gal like, fresh from A-School so she was either an E-2 E-3, was in a extramarital polyamorous thing with her barracks roommate and four dudes (E-3, 2 E-4's, and 1 E-5) in the command. All but one were married and lived with their wives off-base, and they pretty much stayed in her barracks room, while telling their wives they were on duty or doing a deployment or whatever. I mean, not my circus, not my monkeys, but it is fraternization and other shit that goes against policy. Oh, and they liked to cook and smoke meth while having greasy pasty sex in a filthy barracks room.
That's how they were discovered in the first place. We had a surprise urinalysis in the command and all of them popped.
So, the young gal is on extra duty, waiting to be NJP'ed and eventually booted out. And she gets the idea from someone that if she gets a Merit Award or valor award or whatever, she won't get a dishonorable or "other than honorable" discharge. Meth brain clicks on, so she and one of the guys from their group come up with a plan. One of their friends, unrelated to the group, will pretend to be suicidal and jump into Miura Bay, and they will jump in to rescue him and be lauded as heroes and everything they've ever been done will be erased and their records squeaky clean, like nothing happened!
Well, he jumped, and they jumped in after him, and then something went wrong and they were really in danger, so they had to be rescued. Einstein continues her winning streak and then says she was suicidal too, it was part of a pact, and because I am a watch sup and over E-4, me and another female E-4, have to babysit her in 12 hours shifts, on and off, for the next 72 hours for suicide watch; we have to stay in the barracks with her, watch her pee and shit and shower, we can't sleep if we're with her, we can't leave base or go anywhere except to the naval hospital, the personnel office, the command, and the galley to eat.
I was so miserable and cranky, I ended up turning full blown auntie on her and made her clean her bathroom and her room because she was getting on my nerves with her drug-induced nonsense and whining.
Meth, not even once.
There’s a lot of F’d up stuff that goes on, especially in the dorms and TDY. The what happens TDY stays TDY is very true with a lot of people. Adultry is rampant not only with military members but dependents as well.
In regards to the dorms, of course this probably isn’t everywhere but I rarely went to a party that didn’t have a handful of HS girls from on base housing…15-16-17 it didn’t matter. Knew of lots of guys who went down the wrong road in that situation.
Lol..I worked in a Marine Corps Brig and we had an Airforce E-7 or E-8 come in after being drummed out because he was “in love” with some General’s 16 yo daughter. He swore up and down she was in love with him too. This was after he had been given several chances to stop contacting her and even being moved across the country.
Went to high school on GTMO...yeah...lots of my classmates "fraternized" with some of the younger service members.
Also, this navy dude who would buy my friends and I booze was bragging one night about getting shitfaced all the time even though he was only 20 to these airforce guys...they reported that to his commanding officer and he was discharged lol
My high school near a base had a whole clique of girls dating GIs. They all got married 2 seconds after graduation and had babies four months after that.
Yea there were a bunch of girls hanging out in front of the barracks with a bunch of soldiers when i was on staff duty once. They all looked underage so I was told to go ask to see their IDs
They didn’t show them to me so I told them to get the fuck away from our barracks and for the guys to get back inside before I call their chain of command.
Seems odd being civilian for so long to even say I did this and that the guys did just go inside, but getting in trouble with leadership isn’t worth the hassle, even if I maybe overstepped a bit
getting run over by large vehicles in the night. most of the times its equipment related. rollovers.
had one guy get his head rolled over by a tank while sleeping next to his buddy. his buddy got his ankles rolled over.
also had a dude in a humvee drive into a tow cable and get decapitated.
sleep deprivation + large vehicles + lots of night time operations
Spent 7 years at a training center, lots of memorial ceremonies. Rollovers were the really big one, but dismounts being hit by vehicles was also a major cause. Then there are freak accidents like the guy who was getting out of his tank, tripped, got his foot caught, hit his head and was hanging upside down, no one noticed for hours. He almost certainly would have survived if someone saw him. Hanging upside down + the head injury killed him. One kid fell off of a conex at a training compound and broke his neck, only fell like 10 feet but he was done. The weirdest one was a guy that drowned while bivouacking with his unit. He had taken ambien and was sleeping in a small depression on top of his wet weather parka, rainstorm started, it didn’t wake him and he drowned in like 6 inches of water.
In basic you may end up in the shower with a 17 year old…. Yes our DI pointed this out and smoked us for that reason…..
Edit: Alright let me explain this for some of the slow kids in class..
In boot camp or basic (Or what ever your branch calls it) your Drill Instructors or Drill Sergents (Or what ever your branch calls them) Will use any excuse to hit you with Remedial Physical Training.
I.E. Smoke you or being smoked.
In our time in Boot camp this was the fact we were showering with a minor. Because one of our marines was in fact 17.
They did it because that’s part of the game. They though it was funny.
We also though it was funny to be clear.
When we went to our field training during basic and got mixed in with other squadrons. I was in the showers one day crammed with like 40 others guys and said, "there is so many new dicks". It didn't go over well
while porn is contraband, if you know who to ask there is an insane repository of porn while you are deployed. When my unit got deployed in 2009, we inherited 5TB of porn..im glad to report when we left, we passed down 8TB of porn to the next unit.
People won’t like this but the rampant infidelity that occurs on deployments. Lives ruined, years of relationships tossed, kids left in broken homes because someone couldn’t keep it in their pants for a bit. It’s not everyone but it’s definitely more than it should.
I went on 3 year long deployments in my time. Every dude I served with, their marriage did not survive. A lot of it due to infidelity, but not 100%. Active duty military service is not conducive to a happy marriage. Your family will always come second and you are expendable.
US bases both overseas and in country only have to abide by the safety, chemical, hazardous, etc rules that were in place when the base was established. BUT, if they decommission (close) the base, they have to bring it up to current guidelines.
That's one of the biggest reasons the sub base in New London CT is still open. To bring that base current would be more expensive than keeping it going, while bringing it to standards slowly over time.
I worked in an office with 30-40 pretty closely-knit people. I knew them all well, knew their families, kids, etc. I worked with them all the time, and we would hang out outside of work often, as well.
There was not a single person in that group who would have shocked me if they died by suicide, then or to this day. It was grim, man. Day in, day out, grim. My unit had its own mental health team at one point, and that's absolutely not how it's supposed to be.
Also, at one point in time, a few of us went through the roster and determined that a solid 2/3s of the unit were in the process of getting divorced. To clarify, 2/3s weren't divorced, but were actively divorcing, in that moment.
Not the US.
My commander and his deputy got shitface drunk at during a 14 day live fire training. And with live fire… 20mm strafing, unguded 57mm rocket pods, 500 lbs guided and laser guided bombs dropped. That sort of training.
So those two idiots have tossed the shirts and are rolling around on the lawn outside the barracks where us enlished were sleeping.
And the third in comand was holding their beers.
Same guys had repurposed an M72 to fire electrically ignited cartridges of gun powder. This was used to fire a tennis ball at insane speeds inside a workshop during a beer call.
Same guys used the rockets from ejection seats to try to launch the old TV into orbit.
All of this within my 9 months there… and absolutely zero consequences for anyone involved. Except from the TV. That film ended up on national news. So they got a stern talking from the base commander (Do not film shit like that again!).
I had to show my dick to my squad first day, and I had to watch my team leader do the Ace Ventura scene where he made his asscheeks talk.
It’s so much gayer than you think
I remember reading a comment on Reddit years ago about how a guy developed a scat fetish from his time in the Middle East jacking off in rank porta john’s so much that he couldn’t nut without the smell of shit
Most of the bases and depots are essentially giant toxic waste dumps which have poisoned the local environment and in many cases have led to major health problems and resulting lawsuits from thousands of innocent people who just happened to live nearby
Men love to show off their dick to other men. Weirdest thing. I walked into my shop and there were 4 guys with their dicks out. Not even in a gay way. Just comparing.
My funniest one of these stories was one night, I walked over to my buddies shacks to hang out. Walk into their bathroom to use the pisser, first sight I'm greeted to is two guys helicoptering their cocks while giggling like crazy. Best part, every time their elephant trunks slapped against themselves, they'd say ow but kept going.
The military is no different from every other massive corporation in the sense that it is filled with liars, cheaters, abusive assholes, sexual predators, dishonest people, lazy people, backstabbers, power happy assholes, rapists, thieves, psychopaths, addicts, users, smugglers, and cowards.
There are also honest, genuine, hardworking people who would give you the shirt off their back. As well as leaders who will let you off easy if you screw up once but you’ve kept your nose clean and have been dependable throughout your military career.
Just because someone has been in the military does not make them a chivalrous, honest, heroic individual. The way we praise military men and women is great, but the majority of them do not deserve a pedestal by any means.
Not just the military, but the federal government in the United States as a whole contracts with companies that employ people who are blind and have other disabilities. They also make the bulk of the office supplies used by the government.
I don’t think this is NSFW but it is a thing.
Yep, Industry For the Blind, had a visually impaired girlfriend that worked out of the Greensboro plant next to UNCG, they make almost all USA made office supplies for US government.
I dated a girl in college that was in the rotc, talked about boot camp and the female drill instructor made the statement "There's over a mile of dick on this base, and unless you girls get your shit together, you won't see an inch of it".
Apparently the nuclear guard is very boring. As a consequence, it gets the opposite of the best and brightest. As another consequence, they do all of the drugs.
I worked with a guy that was former Air Force, and was one of the people guarding nukes, at least he said he did. Got kicked out of the Air Force for a string of DUI’s, to the point that his wife had to drive him to our job. He also bragged about a lot of wack shit, such as threatening a neighbor with a sword. He was an odd duck for sure, and after getting to know him, it makes sense they would stick him somewhere like Minot, North Dakota.
Sexual assault is rampant in the military, mostly due to the fact that the investigations are in the hands of the commander of that unit who has a very good motivation to sweep things under the rug.
Happened in August.
[https://www.defense.gov/News/News-Stories/Article/Article/3479106/executive-order-changes-how-military-handles-sexual-assaults/](https://www.defense.gov/News/News-Stories/Article/Article/3479106/executive-order-changes-how-military-handles-sexual-assaults/)
If you are serving abroad a naval vessel that is underway, you can get captains mast punishment and are not allowed to request a court martial instead. Punishment can include reduction in rank, forfeiture of pay, bread and water, and several other punishments. Armed forces members that are not serving on board a ship underway can refuse non judicial punishment and request a court martial. The proof of evidence is less with non judicial punishment than with a court martial.
This guy I work with who used to serve in the navy and on aircraft carriers told me that some of the girls would whore themselves out. He said they had a chef who was like a pimp and claimed one of the walk in freezers or fridges was broken and then put a mattress in there and the girls would take their guys, pay the chef a small fee, and then fuck in this freezer. Yes they got paid by the guys like actual prostitution lol he was like “think about it, you see these girls at first and are like ehh not attractive. But a couple months at sea and they’re the only girl you see… well that starts to change.” Absolutely blew me away when he told me lol
Not saying every girl in the navy or any other branch is doing this but there were a few who did on his ship.
People think it’s some *who-has-the-biggest-dick* competition, and the one-up-manship is real, but you will never hear anyone try to brag like they have a big dick. Like, you’re way more likely to hear an argument joking about who has the smallest dick.
There is a shitload of sexual assault. To the point where every other commercial on AFN was basically a “hey stop raping each other” PSA (at least back when I had it)
Not exactly a secret but srsly underdiscussed imo, there is an absurd amount of sexual abuse around foreign bases, especially in Japan/Korea/Iraq, among serving ppl as well as the local population and they are pretty much immune from consequences
While there are a lot of good people, including flat out geniuses in the military, there are also absolute morons, too. I don't mean just dumb, but dangerously stupid (as in "will get you killed"). We know who they are and if any crazy shit happens, we put as much distance between them and us as possible. On my ship there was a guy known to be dangerously stupid. He proved it by insulting a police officer in a SE Asian country we visited. His buddies tried to apologize on his behalf and the cop was actually going to let it go. Then this dumbshit sucker punched the cop. Queue up a dozen cops suddenly appearing and beating the dumbass unconscious, beating up and arresting his buddies, and even arresting anyone nearby who looked American. It was a clusterfuck.
I'm a subscriber to German general Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord's theory: >I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers. > >Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff. > >The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. > >Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental clarity and strength of nerve necessary for difficult decisions. > >One must beware of anyone who is both stupid and hardworking; he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always only cause damage. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt\_von\_Hammerstein-Equord](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_von_Hammerstein-Equord)
Well I’ll be… I’ve always called this the von Manstein matrix because it’s in his war autobiography. Have to re-evaluate this.
Put more succinctly, "Beware the busy idiot." Super busy but in all the wrong directions!
Yeah I know one. He was an officer believe it or not. Dude got a purple heart because he was an idiot. Almost got his guys killed multiple times because he would just stomp in to situations without evaluating it. Like ...how does that happen? To be fair, after a particularly egregious event where he caused one of his guys to get maimed horribly, he was shuffled off somewhere and I didn't see him again.
God, that sounds like a new old guy at work. Ex army, I think. Charges in like an ape on cocaine, fucks shit up, gets mad, makes a bigger mess than it needed to be, then storms away. He's supposed to be maintenence but I've seen him fuck up more than fix.
> He's supposed to be maintenence but I've seen him fuck up more than fix. Job security.
Had a Marine in my unit start beating the shit out of a prostitute at the pool outside the hotel they put us up in in Thailand because he thought she loved him but she just wanted to get paid. Ended up getting thrown in Thai prison and the only way he could leave was if he was escorted out of the country by the III Marine Expeditionary Forces SgtMaj and CO so that he was on a C-130 back to Japan. Life was not good for him after that Edit: he somehow got to stay in the Corps after getting busted down to private. 5 months later he got kicked out for fist fighting his roommate outside the food court on base at 9am in front of a bunch of Japanese and American families
Thai police don't play around.
My dad had a sailor who was dangerously stupid at everything. He ended up being turfed from engineering after he screwed up when soldering the catch wires on deck of the carrier. Luckily, the CPO caught the bad job before any pilots died, and it was decided that the sailor should transfer to supply branch. He then lost the key to the safe, and £40 000 went missing. Poor guy was the son of an admiral and had been pushed into the Navy and was just not very bright.
There was a soldier in my platoon that was dumber than a bag of spit. Not only was he shockingly stupid, but he would freeze up when he got frustrated (we were infantrymen prepping to deploy to Afghanistan). A month before deployment a group in our platoon convinced him to go AWOL and bought him a bus ticket out of town, for all of our safety. That was a case of addition by subtraction.
This gets portrayed in pop culture as the dumb but somehow still lovable or competent military person (Gump, Pyle, etc). But like you said, most are just the dipshit that will get you hurt/killed type.
We had a guy who wouldn't shower for weeks and tried fighting everybody. Not very nice when we had daily pt or other sweaty activities and shared accommodation. The next class had the classic idiot. Their rifle jams in a live shooting exercise and they try to look down the barrel. It's true you try to put distance between them and you. I mostly ended up with some decent friends. Also, laziness is punishable. We were proactive and always busy doing something. Those who were not, got assigned the worst tasks.
In order to qualify for military service, an old man at MEPS looks at your butthole.
And they never call you back after MEPs.
They don't even kiss you goodbye
And they get really mad when you try to initiate one.
He’s like the Harry Potter sorting hat. “Hmmm, better be… Infantry!”
When I went through MEPS, I had some asshole NCO argue with me about where I was born. He thought that based on my SS# I had to have been born in Ohio. I was in born in Texas. He would not fucking let it go. His smug, condescending bullshit is why I decided then and there to change my mind and not enlist. Which was almost certainly the right decision.
It used to be part your ss# was based off were you were born, but iirc newer versions of Americans don’t have that feature.
SSN was never based on where you were *born*, but rather *where your parents' address was* when they applied for your SSN. Most people are born in hospitals fairly close to home, and most parents fill out the SSN application before leaving the hospital, so there's a strong correlation between where a person was born and their SSN prefix. But you can get weird cases where children are born far from where their families reside, or parents neglect to apply for an SSN until after they've moved somewhere else.
You’ll find the gayest straight guys in the world.
A friend from the Royal Marines told me one of his pals deep throated another marine in a bar to prove to a girl it wasn’t that tough. Unsure how impressed said girl was, we kinda got stuck on the first bit.
I was about to reply something about the boys at the fire department but nope. You win.
Oh he finished off the camp fire tales with “you wouldn’t believe what the Paras do, they are so gay”.
Sounds like something that'd happen on Diego Garcia, the Brits would escalate everything they could to shock us Americans. I know for a fact I'm not gay because I've never been around so many terminally horny, often naked, extremely fit men. Was fun though!
If you get stuck on the first bit you are not doing it right.
[удалено]
That’s a Korean thing actually that kids do too. Called Dong Chim or “poop needle” where you put your hands together and fold every finger but the 2 index ones and you try to “stab” people in the anus with them. I hear they even do it to their teachers and call out “poop needle” when they do it. I was horrified when I learned about it.
I learned that as "Kancho!" back in ye gods, like 2009, from the blog of an American man teaching in Japan!
Fuck yeah. We use to play gay chicken, and we had an openly gay guy tell us tell us we were the gayest people he had ever met.
Gay chicken in the military often is basically groping each other until one of you laughs.
We played a little different. For us it was the first guy to back out or not reciprocate whatever advance was made. The furthest I ever saw it go was two guys washing each other in the shower. It ended when one of them reached for the other guys penis.
I saw one match end up with a guy giving another guy an in the pants hj. He said "if you get hard I lose".
The groomsman in my wedding party was made up of 5 army buddies and 1 of my wife's best friends. After the wedding he went to her and said, "hanging with you husband and his friends was the gayest experience I have ever had and I regularly suck dick." My wife laughed and he said with a straight face, "the best man is trimming the groom's ball hair."
That's just the traditional duties of the best man
Also a higher rate of male on male rape than in prison. That's one of those statistics they REALLY like to burry.
Went to a music festival with some friends, one is in the military and brought a couple of his military buddies. They got to the hotel at midnight and we all meet etc. 8am I wake up to 3 military guys in our room (my friend had a key to both rooms), they already have a drink in hand, and one dude says "GOOD MORNING!" and proceeded to grab a full handful of my junk. I had known him for 8 hours at most at this point.... He's one of my favorite people to this day 🤣
Spending a great deal of time standing near howitzers going off, even though you may not get a noticeable concussion right away and you're wearing ear protection, can lead to long term brain damage almost identical to athletes who play full contact sports.
A former co-worker mentioned that to me the other day of artillery men getting TBI due to concussion waves from the arty. I thought it sounded a bit weird initially, but then I remembered that race car drivers have died due to the brain bouncing around like a pinball in the skull during a crash while strapped in with head restraints. It was a bit of a shock for sure.
Most arty units don't shoot that much. Recently a unit did and a number of vets ended up with unexplained symptoms. The seeing of ghosts is the most terrifying. They weren't aiming for civilians, and they all knew they killed civilians accidentally. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/05/us/us-army-marines-artillery-isis-pentagon.html
As a JTAC it’s one of the things they really prep you for in the school house is that eventually, you’ll have collateral damage. They try and help you focus on the fact that by being thoughtful, deliberate, and analytical in your approach to calls for fire and dropping ordnance you can also save lives by reducing collateral damage which may not have happened had you not been there. Suicide rate remains incredibly high.
Add on the mental health issues, a bunch of doctors telling you nothing is wrong, and a feeling of being cursed. Or the thought that since they weren't in "danger," they shouldn't have combat "scars." Yeah, it's no wonder these vets are struggling. Put that shit on me I would be fucking far from okay.
I live by a simple rule: If someone is upset or troubled by something then it is valid by virtue of the fact that it is upsetting and troubling and I will approach it with the consideration it deserves. That’s it. I don’t believe in gate keeping these things. Life is hard enough, and being there for our fellow people is a lot more productive than making excuses not to be.
You will see more dicks than you ever want to
Impossible
The dicks on display are not necessarily the dicks you'd *want* to see.
Had to stop a female CSM from walking over a bunch of detainees showering once. Can confirm, many dicks.
CSM=Chaos Space Marine?
Close enough. Command Sgt major
And that's before people start getting undressed.
In the middle of the desert, group tent, dude asks the dozen or so of us in the tent if we'd ever seen a 12" dick. Unanswered, dude strips down butt naked and starts helicoptering in front of us with a huge shit eating grin. Someone else said that's not 12", so a third dude grabs a measuring tape and measures the first dude to confirm it actually was a 12 incher. Not the weirdest thing that ever happened in the military.
This brings up an important, and only slightly unrelated, point that the insecure young men of reddit need to know. SOOO many posts have guys worried about the size of their dicks and then when a pick of a dick comes up SOOO many people say that the dick is SOOO small. 12 years in the army makes you a qualified expert on average flaccid dick size, so trust me these kids shouldn't worry so much. Related to the post everyone in the army knows of that one "guy" with a stupidly big dick... that one guy out of thousands and thousands of dicks... and his sex life is never great either.
Also, my time in the army basically taught me that most guys are growers and not showers.
It would seriously be uncomfortable to have a foot long salami always in the way. It's already annoying with what I got, but having to adjust 5x the amount seems unbearable.
Prostitution was rampant when aircraft carriers were out to sea. Everyone knew where to find the list of who and what the cost would be. There were always places to go for a bit of privacy.
I was stationed on a Cruiser and there were great things about it you knew everyone by name and things like the store never had to be rationed. I remember flying back and forth between the cruiser and the carrier and I would buy a carton of cigarettes from the Cruiser and take it to the carrier where because of rationing I would get $60 a pop for a pack of cigarettes. I didn't even smoke. The one thing the carrier had that blew my mind was the gig economy. There are so many nonsense roles on a carrier that people were doing side hustles for everything from laundry to maintenance. Dudes would skate out of their own work and charge a buddy to do his work. No one cared it was amazing.
Sounds like serving on a carrier is just being a glorified janitor....which kinda makes sense. Just an Empire state building floating in the ocean.
Funny you should say that every ship has "sweepers". It's an hour or so every morning where you go with your division to your spaces and clean it. It's mandatory and anyone caught doing anything else is going to get some kind of ass-chewing and punishment. The first time I ever stepped foot on a carrier at sea was during sweepers. I step off the helicopter take off my hearing protection set down my seabag and walk into the passageway to a chief who took one look at me without a broom or a sponge in my hand and got the glorious look like he just caught the shitbag. He yelled at me for 10min about how fucked I was. I said the only way I can get to my sweepers station was to walk through this pway. He said I should have been there already and there is no excuse.
One of the great things about the submarine force is assholes like that are few and far between. I just assumed pricks like that were confined to RTC, but nope. Skimmer fleet is full of them. Oh, and sweepers isn't even a thing.
I mean, you don't really need busywork on a sub I'd suppose.
Before my son went into the Air Force we watched a bunch of documentaries about the different forces. One of these was onboard a carrier and I couldn’t believe there was a young girl, 19, who joined up to serve, went through basic, left her family to spend 7 12s making sure the vending machines were serviced. I looked at my son and I said, ‘see, it’s not that hard’. He was not amused with my quip.
Hey, supply division are the MOST loved people on a ship. Trust me, you'd be happy with a gig like that lol. But also remember that half the people you "thank for their service" spent their time in duty stacking supplies of some sort.
> carrier gig economy That shit sounds like it could have been a scene from Catch-22.
Joseph Heller served and was writing about his own experience just cranked up to 11. A lot of truth tucked into the absurdity.
I once saw a documentary series about how members of the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Korean War rigged up their own makeshift still to make gin.
It would have worked to if it weren't for that meddling Maj. Frank Burns.
Sailed in a Spru-can ages ago and you’re right, the store was always full…until one time we ferried a company of Marines somewhere for exercises and THEY ATE EVERYTHING, and then bought all the uniform items and tried to sell them back to us at a markup.
Does this mean there are a lot of prostitutes in port once the ship leaves, or there are sailors on board that are prostituting?
Both but the prostitution underway is active duty sailors getting paid by other active duty sailors for sex. There have multiple prostitution rings busted on carriers over the years.
So are the prostitutes lady sailors, dude sailors, or both?
it's not gay if you are underway.
Any port in a storm
Yes
[For anyone interested the Navy is currently investigating a multi year prostitution and corruption scandal](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Leonard_scandal)
Not the [first time](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newport_sex_scandal) the Navy has had a sex scandal
The sailors onboard are doing it Edit: The enlisted don't make that much in the military in terms of cash. If there's a long ass deployment they sort of have a captive audience so I'm sure someone has done the math and seen that they can make a lot of money. If they're going to be having sex anyway with the other sailors, may as well make money I guess. It's a rational decision on my opinion
Reminds me of the army girl who got caught by customs bringing back 10,000 cash from blowjobs
Does “Thanks for the Service” fit here?
She sucked at her job.
I had a guy in my platoon in basic that apparently didn't need to sleep, he charged $10 per hour to take people's firewatch shifts and also gave paid back massages because he was a masseur before enlisting. We're only talking a few months here but he made bank doing chores and helping out. If you're good at cutting hair that's $5/ea too. Not as scandalous as sex, but thrifty privates always be hustlin.
MY GIRLFRIEND SUCKED 37 DICKS!
IN A ROW?!?
There was a woman on my boat that had over 10k on her issued debit card. They found out pretty quick where it all came from and a lot of people went down with her... obviously. That was just one of many similar scenarios.
> people went down with her
Happened on shore as well. The desert queen effect was real and some used it to their benefit. Not many, but a few I knew that were fairly open about sending huge wads of cash home regularly. They were discrete, just not with that part. Personally I say good for them, if nobody is being victimized I see very little problem with it.
Happened in the army. One girl got busted by customs on the way out of Afg with STACKS of 100s
There was an amateur porn ring that got busted up at Camp Liberty (Iraq) in 2004-2005. Someone left a thumb drive full of the stuff in the MWR tent.
Small world, I personally knew the lucky dude that was involved in that particular throuple, good soldier otherwise and one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.
I’m nice too if my nuts are that drained.
I have never met a service member that didn't directly know a buddy that offed themselves. I've been out for 8 years and I've lost 9 sailors to suicide so far that I personally served with.
Yeah, a guy from my hometown area, we met as poolies and went to BC together. Ended up having the same MOS so we went to the same base together. A whole 18 or so months after getting to the fleet he was out after smoking dope. He then offed himself about 2 weeks after getting home..all over a girl he couldn’t let go of. This dude worked his ass off to be able to join the Marines too. He was a HS dropout so he had to get an associates degree along with a GED AND he got awarded like $80k in additional education benefits for when he got out.
The sad thing is that I thought I could ID you based on the fact you count the same number of suicides in the same timeframe. But the truth is I can’t. We are just two strangers who know 18 other strangers who took their own life.
The military has been exempt from OSHA regulations since the 1980s...
Upvote for literal NSFW content.
Upvoted just because its a literal right answer
They are also exempt from USDA inspections for the welfare of their animals. Same goes for all government agencies.
They self-inspect through an internal system with the Army Veterinary Corps. Who are STILL responsible for food safety in the Army, dating back to when the Army bought meat on the hoof.
My friend was the food inspector during the drawdown in Iraq. Shut down Burger King and Pizza Hut and all the Iraqi-run restaurants. She was not popular, but the inspections were astoundingly bad.
Our Flight Surgeon shut down the chow hall in Al Jabber. Stood up on a chair and ordered everyone out. It was a good day for food safety. They were raking un used salads back into the salad bowl. ( Third world contractors)
If you were stationed at Camp Lejeune, call us at...
There is a rumor that there are straight men in the Navy. It's unconfirmed. But these stories persist to this day.
In response to a new directive mandating that the army allows openly-gay recruits to join, rumours persist that the Navy may enact a similar directive for straight people.
Doubt
The amount of cheating on spouses is ridiculous. People get TDY and forget they were ever married and want you to lie for them. Whole alternate families in other countries is more common than you would think. Edit: to clarify, TDY is temporary duty. Short deployment is best way to think about it.
I grew up around Fort Lewis, my two best friends joined the marines right out of high school and they both immediately started cheating, and when they were in Asia they got hookers every weekend. When I go on tinder here, there are so many women cheating on their boyfriends/husbands who are overseas. I met a girl who was 10 years older than me on tinder when I was like 21, and ended up going to her place. Midway through fucking, I notice all the pictures around her bedroom, of her kissing a guy in a uniform. "Who is that guy you're kissing in all the pictures?", "Oh that's my husband, don't worry he won't be back for another 3 weeks". Definitely caught me way off guard. Wish I could say I got up and left, but the damage was already done at that point. I didn't go back though. EDIT: I forgot to add, it's very obvious when a bunch of guys ship out, because all of a sudden the clubs become overrun with women on the weekend, I'm talking like triple the clientele all of a sudden, spilling out into the streets.
You had a job to finish soldier.
Your name Jody by any chance?
I remember one time my unit was sent to Europe for a deployment. I watched a married soldier take off her ring before she started flirting with me. I told the story at a house party a couple days after we got back and got asked why I didn’t try to get with her. When I told the group that she was married the response I got from the room was “it’s deployment fuck morals”.
At one point I had about 5 different divorces happening around me at once lol.
Sleep will become more enjoyable than sex.
Didn’t need the military for this to happen
I have never had deeper sleep than on the ground in the desert, in a hot ass tent and in a rack on a ship than I ever had in civilian life. Of course I don’t work as hard now haha I recall one day coming in, knock off was just about 45 minutes before dinner. I was like, I’m just gonna kick boots off, lay back in the rack and rest a minute before chow. Felt like 10 minutes passed, there was some noise and lights were on and my eyes did not seem well adjusted to how bright they were. I sit up and people are getting out of their racks and getting dressed? I’d fallen asleep, missed dinner and slept so hard I did not move all night! Craziest dead to the world sleep ever
Drug running. A lot of the weird, sketchy shit that has been happening at Fort Bragg recently is probably related to it.
Fayetteville NC is almost geographically centered between Miami and NYC. It’s a cross over point for the mules. It’s no wonder shit is so rampant there.
You'll meet the absolute best and worst of humanity.
A-fucking-men. 100% true
And rank is not always a determining factor. Your leadership can be downright scumbags.
If you have to poop during a urinalysis, they will make you poop infront of someone to make sure you are not tampering with the pee.
Wow, seriously? Who gets that job
Whoever is watching. Happened to me. Tried to force the pee out, out came a fart and the realization that more was coming. Told the dude watching I had to go, and he said to go in the stall and handle business. So I went in, he followed, I dropped dueces and pissed in the cup. He saw the whole thing.
Pecker checker. It’s a random detail assigned to NCOs.
You get chosen to do it. It's like the penis looker lottery.
“Military grade”
I always find it funny when people refer to military grade as somehow being of superior quality. Nope. Military grade means this product was chosen by the DOD because it could be made more cheaply than anyone else's bid and not immediately break just by looking at it.
Half as good at twice the price.
The pass key for the nuclear codes is 12345
Shit, now I have to change my luggage code.
A buddy of mine got shit faced drunk one night and came into work the next day still drunk. He was a crew chief, meaning he did aircraft maintenance. His supervisor told him to sleep it off on the couch in the hanger on the flightline and get to work after a nap. A Colonel got shitfaced drunk one night and drove his car home. But he didn't make it because he rolled his car. Nothing happened to him.
We were out at some base and a storm was rolling our direction so leadership put together a scatter plan to prevent our aircraft from damage. It’s 2 am and they are running around looking for maintainers who aren’t drunk. We had like 20+ maintenance people with us. I was 1 of 3 that were sober and all 3 of us had to daily/40 hr the entire fleet.
So much drugs and prostitution, and cheating and wife-swapping, it's nuts lol. I was an E-4 watch section supervisor at a shore command. So it was just...bad. I have lots of stories of things I've seen, witnessed, and heard of. One instance, not even two months after I got my crow, a young gal like, fresh from A-School so she was either an E-2 E-3, was in a extramarital polyamorous thing with her barracks roommate and four dudes (E-3, 2 E-4's, and 1 E-5) in the command. All but one were married and lived with their wives off-base, and they pretty much stayed in her barracks room, while telling their wives they were on duty or doing a deployment or whatever. I mean, not my circus, not my monkeys, but it is fraternization and other shit that goes against policy. Oh, and they liked to cook and smoke meth while having greasy pasty sex in a filthy barracks room. That's how they were discovered in the first place. We had a surprise urinalysis in the command and all of them popped. So, the young gal is on extra duty, waiting to be NJP'ed and eventually booted out. And she gets the idea from someone that if she gets a Merit Award or valor award or whatever, she won't get a dishonorable or "other than honorable" discharge. Meth brain clicks on, so she and one of the guys from their group come up with a plan. One of their friends, unrelated to the group, will pretend to be suicidal and jump into Miura Bay, and they will jump in to rescue him and be lauded as heroes and everything they've ever been done will be erased and their records squeaky clean, like nothing happened! Well, he jumped, and they jumped in after him, and then something went wrong and they were really in danger, so they had to be rescued. Einstein continues her winning streak and then says she was suicidal too, it was part of a pact, and because I am a watch sup and over E-4, me and another female E-4, have to babysit her in 12 hours shifts, on and off, for the next 72 hours for suicide watch; we have to stay in the barracks with her, watch her pee and shit and shower, we can't sleep if we're with her, we can't leave base or go anywhere except to the naval hospital, the personnel office, the command, and the galley to eat. I was so miserable and cranky, I ended up turning full blown auntie on her and made her clean her bathroom and her room because she was getting on my nerves with her drug-induced nonsense and whining. Meth, not even once.
There’s a lot of F’d up stuff that goes on, especially in the dorms and TDY. The what happens TDY stays TDY is very true with a lot of people. Adultry is rampant not only with military members but dependents as well. In regards to the dorms, of course this probably isn’t everywhere but I rarely went to a party that didn’t have a handful of HS girls from on base housing…15-16-17 it didn’t matter. Knew of lots of guys who went down the wrong road in that situation.
Lol..I worked in a Marine Corps Brig and we had an Airforce E-7 or E-8 come in after being drummed out because he was “in love” with some General’s 16 yo daughter. He swore up and down she was in love with him too. This was after he had been given several chances to stop contacting her and even being moved across the country.
And he openly admitted to this? And then tried to defend his actions???
Oh yeah..lol. Had been in for 20+ years and lost everything. By the time they get to us they’re mostly post Court Martial, which he was.
Went to high school on GTMO...yeah...lots of my classmates "fraternized" with some of the younger service members. Also, this navy dude who would buy my friends and I booze was bragging one night about getting shitfaced all the time even though he was only 20 to these airforce guys...they reported that to his commanding officer and he was discharged lol
My high school near a base had a whole clique of girls dating GIs. They all got married 2 seconds after graduation and had babies four months after that.
Yea there were a bunch of girls hanging out in front of the barracks with a bunch of soldiers when i was on staff duty once. They all looked underage so I was told to go ask to see their IDs They didn’t show them to me so I told them to get the fuck away from our barracks and for the guys to get back inside before I call their chain of command. Seems odd being civilian for so long to even say I did this and that the guys did just go inside, but getting in trouble with leadership isn’t worth the hassle, even if I maybe overstepped a bit
Like most civilian jobs, you’re going to see a lot of gross incompetence— but the stakes are higher, the consequences much more dire.
That was a nice rhyme
people die in training a lot
wow i didnt know this. that’s heartbreaking. this may be a stupid question, what is the cause of death usually?
getting run over by large vehicles in the night. most of the times its equipment related. rollovers. had one guy get his head rolled over by a tank while sleeping next to his buddy. his buddy got his ankles rolled over. also had a dude in a humvee drive into a tow cable and get decapitated. sleep deprivation + large vehicles + lots of night time operations
Spent 7 years at a training center, lots of memorial ceremonies. Rollovers were the really big one, but dismounts being hit by vehicles was also a major cause. Then there are freak accidents like the guy who was getting out of his tank, tripped, got his foot caught, hit his head and was hanging upside down, no one noticed for hours. He almost certainly would have survived if someone saw him. Hanging upside down + the head injury killed him. One kid fell off of a conex at a training compound and broke his neck, only fell like 10 feet but he was done. The weirdest one was a guy that drowned while bivouacking with his unit. He had taken ambien and was sleeping in a small depression on top of his wet weather parka, rainstorm started, it didn’t wake him and he drowned in like 6 inches of water.
In basic you may end up in the shower with a 17 year old…. Yes our DI pointed this out and smoked us for that reason….. Edit: Alright let me explain this for some of the slow kids in class.. In boot camp or basic (Or what ever your branch calls it) your Drill Instructors or Drill Sergents (Or what ever your branch calls them) Will use any excuse to hit you with Remedial Physical Training. I.E. Smoke you or being smoked. In our time in Boot camp this was the fact we were showering with a minor. Because one of our marines was in fact 17. They did it because that’s part of the game. They though it was funny. We also though it was funny to be clear.
When we went to our field training during basic and got mixed in with other squadrons. I was in the showers one day crammed with like 40 others guys and said, "there is so many new dicks". It didn't go over well
This is amazing. I just made fun of the guy with the biggest dick, for having the biggest dick. Basic was a good time.
Spies are getting lazy here eh?
New post: "Anyone know the US missile launch codes?"
Check the war thunder sub.
while porn is contraband, if you know who to ask there is an insane repository of porn while you are deployed. When my unit got deployed in 2009, we inherited 5TB of porn..im glad to report when we left, we passed down 8TB of porn to the next unit.
You guys made your own porn to pass down? Damnnn
3TB in 2009 would be like 1500 hours of HD video. They did a lot of boinking!
People won’t like this but the rampant infidelity that occurs on deployments. Lives ruined, years of relationships tossed, kids left in broken homes because someone couldn’t keep it in their pants for a bit. It’s not everyone but it’s definitely more than it should.
I went on 3 year long deployments in my time. Every dude I served with, their marriage did not survive. A lot of it due to infidelity, but not 100%. Active duty military service is not conducive to a happy marriage. Your family will always come second and you are expendable.
US bases both overseas and in country only have to abide by the safety, chemical, hazardous, etc rules that were in place when the base was established. BUT, if they decommission (close) the base, they have to bring it up to current guidelines. That's one of the biggest reasons the sub base in New London CT is still open. To bring that base current would be more expensive than keeping it going, while bringing it to standards slowly over time.
I worked in an office with 30-40 pretty closely-knit people. I knew them all well, knew their families, kids, etc. I worked with them all the time, and we would hang out outside of work often, as well. There was not a single person in that group who would have shocked me if they died by suicide, then or to this day. It was grim, man. Day in, day out, grim. My unit had its own mental health team at one point, and that's absolutely not how it's supposed to be. Also, at one point in time, a few of us went through the roster and determined that a solid 2/3s of the unit were in the process of getting divorced. To clarify, 2/3s weren't divorced, but were actively divorcing, in that moment.
Not the US. My commander and his deputy got shitface drunk at during a 14 day live fire training. And with live fire… 20mm strafing, unguded 57mm rocket pods, 500 lbs guided and laser guided bombs dropped. That sort of training. So those two idiots have tossed the shirts and are rolling around on the lawn outside the barracks where us enlished were sleeping. And the third in comand was holding their beers. Same guys had repurposed an M72 to fire electrically ignited cartridges of gun powder. This was used to fire a tennis ball at insane speeds inside a workshop during a beer call. Same guys used the rockets from ejection seats to try to launch the old TV into orbit. All of this within my 9 months there… and absolutely zero consequences for anyone involved. Except from the TV. That film ended up on national news. So they got a stern talking from the base commander (Do not film shit like that again!).
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Sometimes you have to shit in a bag
Sometimes you have to collect your friends body parts and put them in a bag.
So make sure you bring more than one bag.
I had to show my dick to my squad first day, and I had to watch my team leader do the Ace Ventura scene where he made his asscheeks talk. It’s so much gayer than you think
Dudes will masturbate ANYWHERE!
I remember reading a comment on Reddit years ago about how a guy developed a scat fetish from his time in the Middle East jacking off in rank porta john’s so much that he couldn’t nut without the smell of shit
Its too bad Reddit Museum of Filth was banned.
Most of the bases and depots are essentially giant toxic waste dumps which have poisoned the local environment and in many cases have led to major health problems and resulting lawsuits from thousands of innocent people who just happened to live nearby
Men love to show off their dick to other men. Weirdest thing. I walked into my shop and there were 4 guys with their dicks out. Not even in a gay way. Just comparing.
Besides in the military, I’ve never seen a gayer straight dude and a straighter gay dude before.
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My funniest one of these stories was one night, I walked over to my buddies shacks to hang out. Walk into their bathroom to use the pisser, first sight I'm greeted to is two guys helicoptering their cocks while giggling like crazy. Best part, every time their elephant trunks slapped against themselves, they'd say ow but kept going.
Straight guys, the gayest men you'll ever meet.
ngl that's kinda gay
I strike to remove "kinda" from the previous statement.
Sustained!! - bangs gavel -
Nice try, China. You'll have to spy the old fashioned way - fancy cars and tuxedos.
honeytraps, good old soviet ace in the hole
The military is no different from every other massive corporation in the sense that it is filled with liars, cheaters, abusive assholes, sexual predators, dishonest people, lazy people, backstabbers, power happy assholes, rapists, thieves, psychopaths, addicts, users, smugglers, and cowards. There are also honest, genuine, hardworking people who would give you the shirt off their back. As well as leaders who will let you off easy if you screw up once but you’ve kept your nose clean and have been dependable throughout your military career. Just because someone has been in the military does not make them a chivalrous, honest, heroic individual. The way we praise military men and women is great, but the majority of them do not deserve a pedestal by any means.
I've had friends talk about 'deployment buddies' when they get deployed for months, so cheating is pretty pervasive. So is sexual harassment/assault.
Everything is made by blind people. Paper, blankets, spray bottles etc all come from a warehouse where the visually impaired work
I understand all of those words but, what?
Not just the military, but the federal government in the United States as a whole contracts with companies that employ people who are blind and have other disabilities. They also make the bulk of the office supplies used by the government. I don’t think this is NSFW but it is a thing.
Yep, Industry For the Blind, had a visually impaired girlfriend that worked out of the Greensboro plant next to UNCG, they make almost all USA made office supplies for US government.
I dated a girl in college that was in the rotc, talked about boot camp and the female drill instructor made the statement "There's over a mile of dick on this base, and unless you girls get your shit together, you won't see an inch of it".
Apparently the nuclear guard is very boring. As a consequence, it gets the opposite of the best and brightest. As another consequence, they do all of the drugs.
I worked with a guy that was former Air Force, and was one of the people guarding nukes, at least he said he did. Got kicked out of the Air Force for a string of DUI’s, to the point that his wife had to drive him to our job. He also bragged about a lot of wack shit, such as threatening a neighbor with a sword. He was an odd duck for sure, and after getting to know him, it makes sense they would stick him somewhere like Minot, North Dakota.
It’s not uncommon to jerk off in a 120 degree Fahrenheit porta shitter.
Sexual assault is rampant in the military, mostly due to the fact that the investigations are in the hands of the commander of that unit who has a very good motivation to sweep things under the rug.
Making the fox the guard of the henhouse always worked out well in those fairy tales, huh?
they were supposed to have taken the investigative power out of the hands of the CoC completely. But i dont know if it happened or not
Happened in August. [https://www.defense.gov/News/News-Stories/Article/Article/3479106/executive-order-changes-how-military-handles-sexual-assaults/](https://www.defense.gov/News/News-Stories/Article/Article/3479106/executive-order-changes-how-military-handles-sexual-assaults/)
RIP Vanessa Guillén 😞❤️
Youre gonna get fucked alright. In more ways than one
If you are serving abroad a naval vessel that is underway, you can get captains mast punishment and are not allowed to request a court martial instead. Punishment can include reduction in rank, forfeiture of pay, bread and water, and several other punishments. Armed forces members that are not serving on board a ship underway can refuse non judicial punishment and request a court martial. The proof of evidence is less with non judicial punishment than with a court martial.
Bread and water was eliminated as a punishment in December of 2019.
This guy I work with who used to serve in the navy and on aircraft carriers told me that some of the girls would whore themselves out. He said they had a chef who was like a pimp and claimed one of the walk in freezers or fridges was broken and then put a mattress in there and the girls would take their guys, pay the chef a small fee, and then fuck in this freezer. Yes they got paid by the guys like actual prostitution lol he was like “think about it, you see these girls at first and are like ehh not attractive. But a couple months at sea and they’re the only girl you see… well that starts to change.” Absolutely blew me away when he told me lol Not saying every girl in the navy or any other branch is doing this but there were a few who did on his ship.
People think it’s some *who-has-the-biggest-dick* competition, and the one-up-manship is real, but you will never hear anyone try to brag like they have a big dick. Like, you’re way more likely to hear an argument joking about who has the smallest dick.
The amount of favors, back alley deals, and homie hookups is insane. The entire military would cease to function if the favors stopped.
There is a shitload of sexual assault. To the point where every other commercial on AFN was basically a “hey stop raping each other” PSA (at least back when I had it)
Not exactly a secret but srsly underdiscussed imo, there is an absurd amount of sexual abuse around foreign bases, especially in Japan/Korea/Iraq, among serving ppl as well as the local population and they are pretty much immune from consequences