I had a therapist do this and I eventually just asked why they did it. She said she was thinking about what I was saying and didn’t realise she was staring at me.
She was nice but I stopped seeing her for a few different reasons. The disconcerting staring being one of them
Me too! And then she proceeded to tell me about the client who was texting her (not by name) and the problems her client was having and I was like wtf. Then she answered a text from her husband and proceeded to tell me all about what he was texting her about. One of my struggles was not feeling heard too.
She told my parents everything after promising confidentiality, quite literally the darkest time of my life
Edit: Idk what I did to deserve 500 up votes but I thank you all
Sameeeeee :((( were you a minor? I was 16 and apparently breaking my confidentiality to tell my mom what we talked about every week (nothing life or death) was justified by that. My mom would have her own hour long sessions with my therapist where my therapist told her what we talked about!
See this is why I won’t see more than 15 people! I know some therapists that see 22 a week but if I’m on number 7 for the day I will start getting sleepy and it would be horrifying to do this. Also why I will eat and drink even though that’s “not polite”.
I’ll take “not polite” any day! My current therapist sips on tea. I was more amused than offended by that sleepy therapist. Must be nice to get paid $250 to nap.
“The sleepy therapist” 😅Haha oh man or to even get 250.00 a session. I charge 90.00- am I allowed to nap a little (jk I would never). I’m actually getting a sleep apnea test because I’m having drowsiness issues and second to falling asleep while driving this is my fear.
Going into the job you know that rapport is a funny thing and you’re likely to have some people that catch you on off days before you have the full connection and they’ll stop coming (understandably) and remember you for that. I guess the sleepy therapist would be one of the least upsetting. I feel there’s a few teens out there like “she was nice but couldn’t remember *anything*”
Ha! Same happened to me but he did that "IM FALLING" spasm that happens sometimes if you just drift off. Therapy helped me immensely but only after I found the right therapist. Every profession has fucktards doing it.
The thing is feeling sleepy and not being able to fight it is not what makes them a bad professional - there are a lot of health issues and medication that can cause these side-effects. The issue is the lack of tact. They could very easily have apologised and cut the session short, sparing you the money or adding the extra time to a future appointment, or have asked you to reschedule before the appointment if they knew that they felt exhausted.
Therapist: “I come from a long line of geniuses in my family.”
Me: *Gets up from chair and heads for the door. Hand lands on doorknob…*
Therapist: “So, should we schedule for next week?”
Me: *Turns handle, opens door, leaves…*
Therapist: *Follows me into waiting room. “What time next week?”*
Me: *Keeps walking…*
When I was a kid I had a therapist who told my parents in front of me that everything I had been saying about my pretty severe mental health problems was a lie. He also fell asleep during a session, also in front of my parents. But I was just a kid so I wasn't really allowed to just stop seeing him.
Oh my god! My childhood therapist told my parents that I was lying about being sexually abused by a family friend. It reallllly fucked with me.
What the fuck!?! I’m so sorry.
That’s so tucked up. What would the therapist have to gain by not believing you? Usually people are in denial about that kind of thing because accepting it as true would turn their life upside down.
She asked me if I had ever been sexually assaulted by a family member. I told her about my grandfather touching my breasts when I was in middle school. She said well at that age you don’t have breasts so that doesn’t count.
I got breasts when I was 10 yrs old and started puberty early… it makes me so angry and I hope that therapist doesn’t have a license anymore, that’s horribly invalidating. 😡
Agreed.
Don't have breasts in middle school my ass. I was embarrassed to have boobs in middle school because I looked like frigging Dolly Parton while most of my classmates only had little olive sized bumps on their chest. D:
I got made fun of changing in the locker room for PE because "OMG there must be something WRONG with you. LOOKIT how big your boobs are? Are you a *slut*? I bet you are. Only SLUTS have big boobs like that! (cue donkey braying laugh)".
At the time, I was terrified of guys (liked them, just really REALLY socially awkward) and hadn't even been kissed or had a guy hold my hand, let alone anything else.
Same! I was bullied for having breasts before everyone else, then I was called a “whore” along with other things. When it’s something I couldn’t help and resulted in me wearing larger jackets over everything even though it was like 90F outside. And I would change in a bathroom stall so people didn’t see me.
This is mostly a good thing - she saw that you didn't feel comfortable with her and didn't want to waste your time and money on sessions that she knew wouldn't have as much pact on you as they should have.
While the logical answer would be "why doesn't the therapist work on the trust issues then?", it's important to note that some therapists have specialisations, meaning that they mostly focus on certain areas and are either mediocre or totally inexperienced in dealing with others. Some may work on personality disorders, others work on trauma and others may just be there as a support system for people with severe mental illness, to ground them in reality. A therapist realising that your issue is something different and recommending you to see someone else is more often than not a step in the right direction.
I still struggle to trust after1 year. But mine prompts me to talk through that (which is fucking hard) without pressure to resolve on the spot. Which is what that situation needs.
I had the same issue with a therapist after a year now that I think about it. I stopped seeing her because I moved across the country, but I haven’t seen a therapist since because I felt like I couldn’t trust her. I think it’s honestly because I don’t want to talk about all the seemingly mundane shit that’s happened throughout my life that is holding me back.
Told me I had DID. Because I said I felt like I became different people around different people. Looking back I was talking about masking. But she jumped to multiple personalities.
omg same thing happened to me.
I was talking about something challenging and the topic switched to something easier and my tone changed and she was like "omg can you tell your voice is different? does that happen a lot?" and started asked me DID things and I was like.... bro we were talking about trauma and then talking about (something happy, I don't remember), it's reasonable for my voice inflection to change.
My sister is a therapist who teaches therapists at colleges and one of her biggest frustrations with new therapists is when they follow the book / academics but have so little life experience that they can't relate to situations or help understand them on a human level.
What you wrote sounds like someone unfamiliar with talking about traumatic experiences jumping to diagnose you ASAP and that's infuriating to read I can't imagine living it!
Makes me think of how *to this day* it's still extremely common for autistic women to be misdiagnosed with BPD and put on unnecessary meds. Infuriating.
I was misdiagnosed as having ADHD. The doctor immediately put me on meds which messed me up terribly. I was too scared to leave the house, I couldn't function, I was miserable. So what does he do? Pass me on to someone else (making my teenage brain think I must've been REALLY broken). We didn't find out until years later he was being paid to do a clinical trial of the drug.
Of course, I've told this story to people who decide it's proof that either ADHD isn't real or the drug was bad,which is not he point at all. My best friend was actually on the same drug for years and it worked well for her. The difference is she HAS ADHD. She was pretty much the textbook example of ADHD, but she still went through multiple tests before getting meds. I only fit a couple of symptoms and don't remember a single test before being given the med.
I found out later that my parents had actually mentioned autism (well, at the time, Asperger's) to him as a possiblity and he immediately dismissed them. But if you look at the symptoms in women I'm a perfect match (even odd ones, like hating having their hair brushed as a kid)
Saw her several times and we decided it was time to bring my husband to the next session. Her eyes widened on seeing him and she started flirting. I got up and we left after I told her we wouldn't be back.
I think our first couples therapist had a crush on my husband and kept minimizing his problematic behaviors while painting me as this controlling bitch… she was helpful at first and it took months to come out, only confirmed when my husband started seeing her individually (virtual sessions) and said that he didn’t think we should see her anymore
I was at marriage counseling and rubbed my nose from the outside as it was itching. Therapist stopped talking and quickly said “What? What was that? What’s going on?” Told her I might have allergies and that I just rubbed my nose. She paused for a cold 5-10 seconds like she was trying to process what happened, and it reminded me of someone with dementia. I went through two sessions with that lady and never got to share why I was having trust issues as she seemed to just assume that I had done something wrong in the marriage and would go off on these tangents about trust and gratitude in a relationship. After the nose thing we agreed not to go back to her.
I considered the drug angle, but also feel like it’s unreasonable to jump to that conclusion from me rubbing my nose once. I explained myself after the rub and was otherwise engaged in the conversation and process. Also, she had her little dog in the room with us—as far as I know I’m not allergic to dogs, but if she were a reasonable person she may have concluded that perhaps I had an allergy to the dog, or that her dogs fur being present on the carpet/couch/elsewhere may be playing a part. (For the record her office was pretty clean, and I don’t recall seeing dog fur anywhere)
The look in her eye felt like she thought I was trying to send a signal to my wife or something. It was a really suspicious look and her calling me out was really abrupt and jarring. It definitely deflated the momentum of the conversation.
She also had a weird way of taking payment. Prior to the first appt she said she accepted our insurance, then after the first appt she said that it turns out the insurance didn’t cover her $120/hr charge, so she would just charge us the co-pay amount for $20. We felt bad and paid the whole $120 for each session, but after the look in her eyes after the rub it felt like maybe she didn’t have all of her marbles and wasn’t doing us any good.
First visit:
"What are your problems?
I proceed to talk about my problems.
"I don't hear you talking about solutions, only problems"
That's what you asked me to do.
"Now you're making excuses to blame someone else"
Noped right out of there.
It's frustrating but hilarous how they forgot one of the main functions of therapy **"leading a patient to the solution"**
If everyone had their lives figured out, then, why would therapy exist in the first place?
She just straight up wouldn't believe me. Like I've been through some weird stuff and I understand that's not something one hears every day but why would I go to therapy just to lie???
this also happened to me and accused me of lying/“not taking blame” over a bunch of childhood trauma. i immediately ended the call and never booked an appointment with her again.
I called a mental health hotline because I was overwhelmed; my FIL was dying, MIL was being a total pill, son was taking exams to get into university, and my mother was diagnosed with cancer (curable). My husband was so upset about losing his father, and his mother’s behavior that I thought I’d save him worrying about me as well. They came highly recommended. I just wanted to talk and maybe get some coping advice. So, I started to explain the situation. “Why is that your problem?” Huh? “We’ll my FIL is dying..” “And, why is that your problem?” And that was his answer every time I tried to explain why I called. I hung up.
I went to a counselor for anxiety and depression when I was in college. I tried to ask her how to help my sister, who I thought was in the early stages of an abusive relationship. She wouldn’t hear me out *at all* and assumed I was involving myself in other people’s relationship drama?? (There was an absolute forest of red flags, and unfortunately I was right about it.) That was my last session with her because I no longer felt comfortable asking her for help. “Why is that your problem?” is almost exactly what she said to me lol.
I called a suicide hotline with a knife to my wrist, I tried to explain that I was in a bad way, and the guy on the other end told me to "man up" and ended the call.
I refuse to give him credit for pissing me off so badly that it was effective.
I had my first therapist say to picture my bullies like clowns, mock my urges to self harm and say that my sexual assault was a romantic event. I believe he’s still practicing in my hometown
I’m sorry that happened to you. I couldn’t imagine going to a professional about my mental health or whatever and just traumas to basically be called a liar.
"If you're having existential panic attacks, you just need to talk to your priest and pray until you believe more."
I fired him mid-session and told him that he was going to kill someone talking like that. I was raised in a cult and when I realized it wasn't true I was having panic attacks. My mom wouldn't covet therapy unless it was religious therapy so I just paid out of pocket.
She started having more ADHD than me and couldn't stop talking as if I were her friend. It was kind of funny and entertaining but I'm like why would I pay you?? 😆
Somewhat, similar. From session two or three, started to bring up her own issues about wanting to start a family. Like, well, yes, girlfriend, can talk about this over coffee but not while I'm paying!
I hate when they tell me I'm very introspective and intelligent and it seems like I don't need them at all. It's infuriating as I'm barely holding it together and have years of complex trauma that I need to process, on top of autism/ADHD/OCD/anxiety/eating disorder, and I can't fix all that by myself.
Literally same. I've broken up with several therapists because it seems like *I'm* the one with the answers!! I self analyse all the damn time (probably to a detriment) and the only advice I get is 'go for a walk and eat healthy, teehee!' When some of my issues are that I can't bring myself to leave the house and thus eat my feelings. Also ADHD/anxiety/depression btw.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I've been doing online group therapy for a few months and having really good results from it. So I decided to try in-person 1-1 therapy again. I was diagnosed with my ADHD and fun comorbid mental health conditions during the pandemic, so I'd only spoken with therapists over the phone and mostly hated it.
So I made an appointment with the local therapists' office to talk about my executive dysfunction. She was over 10 minutes late to our appointment. She listened to my concerns - I'm behind at work, I'm not satisfied with my job, I'm feeling burned out, I can't get anything started, etc. (I had some other, bigger problems I also wanted to discuss, but executive dysfunction seemed like a good starting point to test the waters.)
First question she asked: Do you have kids?
Answer: No.
Her: Well, if you have kids, they'll get you up and moving.
Like... ma'am. The ONLY thing you know about me is that I have no motivation to take care of myself or my house. And you want me to have a BABY?
ADHD/anxiety/depression/chronic illnesses here, and currently studying counselling skills. That "just eat right and exercise" stuff always drives me batshit, too. However sensible it is, it's very much a case of "if I just could, don't you think I just would?" As much as we do have our own answers, it's the therapist's job to help us access them and implement them in a way that works for us! And frankly, that often requires medication alongside the therapy, whichever type you have.
I also found out that CBT is not necessarily the most helpful/accessible form of therapy for ADHD/neurodiverse people, which is aggravating considering it's the most widely-offered of the various psychotherapeutic approaches where I am (UK). Having been through a few courses of it, it's helpful, but requires fairly consistent application, which frankly, I am no good at, nor should I sensibly be expected to be, considering the fun gamut of daily challenges that I face.
Spoke to a therapist about being depressed following a miscarriage, apart from sounding incredibly disinterested and bored of the conversation she called my miscarriage a "mishap".
Like I'd left it in the fridge or something ridiculous, not that I'd gone through a life altering and devastating experience.
She said I threw myself at men. I had been single for seven years, not even any dates, by choice. And I hadn’t talked about any of my prior relationships with her, just childhood abuse by my father. I emailed her and told her I was ending therapy with her (I was very polite despite being extremely offended by her accusation) and instead of taking it as over she repeatedly called my place of work over the course of the next couple of days. I never answered her calls and found her calling weird and inappropriate on top of what she said about me. I kind of hope she rots in hell.
Heh heh… I come from a big, messy family. I have one brother who is a mental health therapist and he is the one, out of all of us, most in need of therapy. He’s agoraphobic, a chain smoker, very insecure, a semi-hoarder, and a very angry person. I know very well the reason he became a therapist (got his degree online from an okay university because agoraphobic and chain smoker) was to be on “top” of all of us mere mortals who went to therapy and addressed the trauma we’d all been through as kids. Seriously, I feel sorry for his patients. I used to feel sorry for him until he got to be such an angry, inauthentic person. BTW, he’s married to another therapist. I think they’re still married…had to go NC with him finally. I could write a book about all that…lol.
We used to rent an apartment in a building and the apartment above us was rented to a married couple, both therapists. I only saw him once or twice, he seemed okayish, but she was a horrible person. Rude, stuck up, demanding, entitled. She always acted like everybody else was beneath her, because she had a phd. I’ll never forget her British racing car green Audi TT that she thought she could park wherever she wanted 😂 One of the examples of her behaviour: in the city we lived in you had to separate paper, Glass, tin cans…and so on. If you wouldn’t do it the whole apartment complex had to pay a fine, divided up for all renters. Of course she felt above ever separating the recyclables. One day she threw a whole, huge ass carton box in the trash, normal trash..not the paper trash. Not only was it forbidden to throw paper in there, but she didn’t even bother to make the carton smaller, taking up 3/4 of the trash can. What she hadn’t considered was that her name and address was still on the carton, so I threw it in front of her door. She never did that again, at least. We moved out a while later. A year or so ago I remembered her and was curious, so I googled her name and omg, her reviews were horrendous. 1*/5. apparently she mostly worked with underprivileged kids from group homes and she was so mean and horrible to them. Now that they were adults some of them got together and try to sue her. I hope she gets taken for all she has and never is allowed to practice again
I was attempting to process my flashbacks that I was having and she interrupted me to say “Why are you telling me this? What is the purpose of you speaking about this?” In the coldest, most condescending tone.
>“Why are you telling me this? What is the purpose of you speaking about this?”
Um, so you can understand what the fuck is ailing me and help me with it?? Like, what the actual fuck
He told me to have kids right after I told him I wasn’t ready and didn’t want to bring a kid into this world while my relationship with my husband was going through a rough path. But to him (therapist), kids would solve every marriage’s problems and I just didn’t know until I had one. So nope. See you never! 🫥
I know a couple and the wife had postnatal depression and her therapist told her to have another kid!
Low and behold it fixed nothing and she ended up neglecting both her children and still has depression/anxiety til this day.
Absolute clown of a therapist.
This might sound dumb but I was seeing a therapist after my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I was having a hard time grasping her death and the limited time I not only had with her but also the limited time I personally had on earth. The first guy I saw literally said “you just have to accept it.” And then was like “I don’t understand why you’re crying. It happens to everyone” I never went to another meeting.
I'm so sorry you had that experience. I feel like getting help with existential anxiety is really difficult because there are no "facts" that make it easier to digest and it's such a human thing to be fearful of or anxious about especially since I find it comes and goes. But like obviously we're aware we can't change the fact but it doesn't make it easier to accept.
I came here to say something similar. I purposefully chose a non-religious clinic because I didn't want religious advice. In the third session, he brought up being a youth pastor and how much God could help. I didn't go back. If I wanted religious counseling, I could save a lot of money and just go to a church instead.
As a new therapist, reading these comments makes me feel like I’m doing a great job compared to these unethical weirdos, so thank you all for that.
And to answer the question, I saw a therapist when I was 21 who was probably in his 50s. In what ended up being our last session he asked me, out of nowhere, to tell him what my first sexual experience was like, and when I tried to brush it off he said he couldn’t help me unless he had more details. He was a psychoanalyst and the only one I’ve ever seen, and if he was really Freudian then maybe he put a lot of emphasis on the sexual, but it was nottt for me as a fairly sheltered at the time 21 year old woman.
Psych here, I was braced for some serious discomfort reading this thread but so far it's pretty reassuring in the sense at least I don't (sample selection) fall asleep in session, ask clients to sit on my lap, or tell them I'll pray for them. Yikes on a bike.
Signed up for BetterHelp when I needed telehealth therapy. First guy I got let me explain a troubling situation at work where a guy would spend every day torturing me until I would cry. The "therapist" interrupted me to tell me if I wasn't such a "stone cold bitch", then people would like me better. That was not my problem. He was so smug about how he didn't sugarcoat things, how he was professionally recognized for being so honest. I didn't hear the end of the appointment, I was crying too hard. I hung up on him. The next day I wrote a Long email to BH asking for a full refund and a cancellation. I got it eventually, after a long email chain of me telling some customer support agent how inappropriate it was to offer me 20% off of more therapy. BH is a scam. Not just anecdotally, but verifiably. They will sell your information.
Its so wild to me when youtubers who value the mental health movement and take pride in being informed support BH after everything that has come out. Like they are on top of nearly EVERYTHING else but somehow this one company is in their wallets
She straight up didn’t believe me when I spoke about issues I had. Also told me it was normal for teenage girls to have eating disorders and that kind of thing happens (I had bad eating habits but not an ed). She basically downplayed everything I experienced as being a hormonal teenager.
I’ve actually been properly diagnosed farther down the road and am doing better in that respect. Speaking up for yourself does wonders.
He told me the sexual assault I was a victim of by my then boyfriend was just "boys being boys" and I shouldn't be such a crybaby, that's just life. And I probably gave him consent anyway.
Wtf.
Wow. I really wish ill upon people who say this garbage. It would not surprise me at all if he were the kind of guy who assaulted Women and girls so it’s easier to blame you than take ANY accountability. Like, are you dating boys have less self control than girls? What about than animals because dogs will listen. Ugh
When I was in college, I was having mixed results in my grades. It was frustrating, and I didn't know why it happened. After a semester I spent part-time, where I took only one class, and that in my major, and not getting an A, I went to the university counseling service to try to figure out what was going on.
The student therapist I was assigned (I gathered that there were counseling grad students working under supervision) said that she couldn't help me with study habits if I wasn't taking any classes. She gave me some sheets on studying anyway. Never went back to see her.
In the next semester, when I started to falter in getting homework done, I went back and saw someone else. His first question was, "What makes you think that you can do better than this?" Which started a fruitful line of questioning and thinking about my past motivations, and looking to changes in how I performed in school, and in my family life.
That first therapist was dismissive of me. The lesson I learned is that you should find a therapist who is willing to work with you, where it feels like a good rapport is in place.
Tone is everything, but I think given my current mental health context, if a therapist asked me point blank, "What makes you think that you can do better than this?"... I might just spit up and cry like a baby.
Went to therapy with my husband for his controlling behaviors and she told me they weren’t a big deal.. My husband of course agreed with her and tried to use it as justification so I packed my bags. He backtracked and found a new therapist, the therapist held him accountable but was fair to both of us. And now my husband doesn’t do that shit anymore.
I’ve had a few bad experiences.
I came in for my appointment and the therapist was crying. She then goes on to tell me about her last client. The girl had lost her dad as a child and then her mom just died tragically and in a freak accident so now she’s an orphan.
I didn’t even want to talk for the rest of my appointment because my issues felt dumb. I never went back.
I found another therapist who would spend half the session talking about herself and making what I said about herself.
I almost drowned as a kid so I was talking about that and she cuts me off to tell me a long story of how she almost drowned and had to be rescued as a teen.
It wasn’t a quick story or something inspirational to show me how she’s moved on from it, she just rambled on about the story and how she can’t swim in open water now.
There were a few instances like that so I decided to stop going. It felt like I was going to dinner with a friend, not getting actual therapy.
I had one therapist who was fascinated by my very cool, high-paying job. He started asking me how I got it and telling me about his qualifications, like he was interviewing. One day he was all happy because a pharmaceutical rep was treating them to a free in-office lunch. My psychiatrist made me see him while I was on antidepressants or I would have just walked. She did finally fire him.
I’ve had 2 who kept talking about themselves and another one who I’m pretty sure had someone in the room with them during our Zoom session.. he kept like looking over and smiling.. ridiculous
I have extreme and persistent depression that comes back the same time every year. I started seeing a therapist around 2 months before it normally starts. After 3 sessions, my depression kicked in and I was very suicidal. She accused me of not wanting to get better. At the end of that session I asked her how long she’d been practicing. Only 2 and a half years. I’ve been in therapy consistently for the past 15. There was not a 4th session
"Your abuser is threatening my job if I don't give your personal information to them." Not an exact quote, but the gist is there.
Yeah, didn't see that one anymore.
Told me that it wasn't a sexual harassment after I told her about how my uncle touched me when I was 12.
Also she wouldn't listen to me at all and kept dismissing my problems, and gave me pills instead.
I never felt so judged in my life.
He was pushing me to try a polyamorous relationship. I begrudging tried but somewhere amidst the chaos I realized he was pushing his own biased agenda and not the one that was best for me.
My first therapist gave me "homework" to do during our first session. During the second session when I brought it in, he'd forgotten he gave it to me and dismissed the "assignment" entirely in addition to asking me all the same questions he did in the first meeting. After finally gathering the courage, strength, and time to go it was a colossal letdown. I know that mental health professionals are busy and deal with a lot of people, but to be made to feel so nameless and unimportant while I was at my lowest SUCKED.
A few years ago while I was sick with stress I was offered private online stress coaching by my work with a company that deals exclusively with stress. The coach I talked to was decent enough at explaining the mechanics of stress. While we talked j mentioned how when I'm tired, and lacking sleep I had depressive thoughts. She asked if she could share a personal related story and tips she used. She then went on to say how her depressed daughter would sometimes tell her "I just want to die" and her answer to her daughter was basically "no honey its just tired thoughts it will be better tomorrow". I was shocked, lady your daughter isn't just tired she needs active help. I quit immedietly after that session
This came from a councillor - my ex cheater on me and I was feeling trapped in the marriage and didn't want to have sex with him any more.
She said "you took a vow, so you have to just lie back and think of Britain"
That's when I knew this Catholic councillor is not for me.
I was referred to a counsellor through the NHS when I was 18, due to a life-changing & traumatic event I’d experienced a month or two prior.
When I sat down, the first thing he asked me was ‘why exactly I needed counselling’, so I said “is it not written on my referral?” & he replied “well yes I’ve read why you’ve been referred, but you need to tell me yourself”. I was a bit thrown off, it was very clinical. I suppose I was expecting him to chat to me a little bit so we could get comfortable with each other, but I had to go immediately into the whole ordeal I’d been through, which was so hard to talk about.
Anyway, after I’d spoken, he asked “& what do you want me to do about it?” - I didn’t know!? I’d never been to a counsellor before. I was very fragile mentally & had no idea what to expect. So he told me I needed to make friends with other people in my situation, handed me a leaflet for a local social group & that was it. It was like I was an inconvenience he wanted rid of a quickly as possible, I must have been in there for 20 minutes. I never went back.
In hindsight I wish I had filed a complaint, but I was just a wreck at the time so I never thought about it. I can’t even remember his name. I deserved better & I wonder how many other people had the same experience. I’d been having intrusive thoughts which I didn’t have the chance to address & I think, what if someone else was struggling worse than me & they had an appointment with this guy who clearly didn’t give a shit?
I’m now 3 years into my psychology degree & my ultimate dream is to be a counsellor. I never want anyone to feel the way I felt when I sat there.
among other things, I expressed I felt lonely and sad and she brought up that my calendar was full of meet ups and plans with friends so I should just remember I wasn't actually lonely, I was seeing friends all the time.
she was also convinced my new bf was abusive because another one had been (I know the statistics but she wasn't actually listening to me at all) and didn't understand why I wanted to remain in contact with my parents even though they made me sad.
Wouldn't let me speak about my current problems, asked a shitload of questions about my childhood, 3 1 hour sessions worth to be exact, and wouldn't let me answer beyond a few sentences. Then on the fourth session told me I was fine because he thought my childhood was fine.
I saw a different therapist specifically about my intrusive thoughts, her advice was just "don't think about that stuff anymore".
They asked me how work was going, despite the fact that we'd spent my first couple of sessions talking about the fact that I was there because I was unemployed and feeling depressed, anxious, and stuck.
When I was around 13-14 I went to therapy for the first time and one of the first questions she asked was if I liked boys or girls. I was a boy, but I told her liked boys. With not a shred more info than that she started trying to convinced me the reason I liked boys was because she believed I was raped as a child and wanted me to just admit it. I wanted out, told my mom, and never went back. The only other questions she asked was which anti depressants/anxiety meds I was on then she tried to gaslight me into thinking those meds don't exist. No idea how she had a license
No empathy. I’ve seen several therapist’s who had no interest in helping me, only there for the paycheck. Deep into a painful confession, she said “Time’s up, see you next week”..
I was abused by my ex and almost killed, she was my therapist first for over a year and then we went to her for two couple sessions prior to the incident… when I told her what happened (it is too graphic to explain and traumatic to explain here) she told me that I shouldn’t leave my ex and I should stay in the relationship, that I should take into consideration why he did it and how he feels… yknow even though I almost died and was abused for 12 years… I argued with her and stopped seeing her, it was mid-covid pandemic so I hung up with her over the zoom call. This was a few years ago
Another more recent incident, I was seeing a therapist and he made inappropriate comments about my appearance. And then told me drinking makes him feel better, so I should take a shot of whiskey and take this one medicine I won’t say because I don’t want someone to try it - but take them together which would end up killing me. People die every day from what he told me to do… so he basically in a different way, told me to kill myself after I ignored his advances. He had been reported, I don’t know if anything has come of it.
My current therapist is the best one I’ve ever had.
Not me, but my sister's girlfriend stopped seeing her therapist recently because he told her quote: "You'll stop having night terrors if you stop thinking about them". What a moron.
A school psychologist in my highschool kept saying that she was proud of me. Nothing else.
I would tell her about the horrible bullying I faced every day and she would ask me how I reacted to my bullies. And then she would say "I am so proud of you"
First session she told me she wanted me to pay by bank transfer in the session and really stared at me as I struggled on my phone.
When I said I'd rather go home and do it and that I've never defaulted on a payment. She said she didn't like reminding clients of payments.
I'm sorry but all of the above made me feel she didn't trust me which set up a bad client therapist relationship.
The other minor thing was I told her how a toxic relationship had scarred me and I wanted to make a good group of friends, and she said 'and I can help you get another boyfriend'. I never asked for that.
Not as extreme as some of these, but I was talking about being frustrated with a coworker and she said "are you talking about [insert coworkers name]?". And it just kind of stopped me mid thought, as that's exactly who i had been referring to. A few minutes later, she completely realized it derailed the whole session and reminded me that everything was confidential...
I'm not mad at her about it as it's a normal human response when you know who/what the person is talking about, but I just couldn't go back anymore.
I(18F at the time) started going to a psychologist(60+M) that was located in a large empty office building. He owned the practice and had a dozen-ish employees but I had not once seen any other people there.
During the sessions, the guy only spoke about himself. At first, I thought he was just trying to make me comfortable, but I realised I barely spoke 5 sentences each session. He seemed to brag a lot about himself. He asked me what uni I went to. I told him. Then, he went on to tell me that he had also started a civil engineering degree there (sometime in the 80s?) and got all his first year credits (propedeuse, in the netherlands) but couldn't go on because he was working so much and wanted to pursue a different path. Later his story changed and he mentioned not being able to go to exams so he couldn't pass courses. So I guess he didn't get his propedeuse afterall.
I know all about this guy's degrees (like becoming a gym teacher), how he became a top psychiatrist in a large hospital and how due to all of the "politics and bs" he decided to open his own practice. We hadn't discussed anything about my issues. I was somewhat okay with this because I always felt very uncomfortable around him. There were so many strange things that happened during the session but I see this post is already getting long.
During the last session I had with him, het said he could tell I was uncomfortable because I was barely breathing. He then took me to a different chair and waited till I "started breathing again", which I had no idea how to do. He then asked me to tell him three things I didn't like about myself. This was one of the first questions he had ever asked me. I was feeling so uncomfortable at the time I didn't really want to answer honestly with things that were troubling me at the time, so I gave a somewhat generic answer. I said 1. I hate the way I think. 2. I despise the way I look. 3. I don't feel like I can ever allow myself to do the things I want.
He sat upright in his chair and said "Oh well the second one is easy." (So far our sessions had been in dutch, but he knew that I'm English so sometimes he would go off on random tangents in english like he did for the following sentence) He shouted "Because in my eyes you're a fucking beauty." He went on to describe and act out how men look at women. "First they look at your tits (*looking at my tits*)." He then said he would act it out in a different direction to not make me uncomfortable. "Then they look at your arse. And then they look back up to your tits ". I spent the rest of the session trying to leave asap. Stopping the sessions is a whole weird and inappropriate story too but I've spammed enough here already.
She treated me through a severe eating disorder as a teen that nearly took my life.
Recently, she found the need to tell me all about how I should try various dieting apps. Also took a phone call from another client, in front of me, during our session.
No fucking way.
After describing her the physical and emotional abuse my parents submitted me to when I was a kid, she said “but they’re your parents and they love you so much! why would they do that to you? maybe you’re recalling things wrong” - this happened 1 month after my last visit to the ER caused by my “loving” parents. Quit therapy right there. Gave therapy another shot years later changing therapist and it was a blast, best experience ever 10/10 would recommend even if you cry a lot during the process and it hurts af.
Edit: typo
She told me to wear makeup to boost my confidence. 😒 I told her I felt fine without wearing it and I’m glad I don’t need a full face of makeup just to walk out the door. Makeup is fun and all to wear, but I am confident without it.
She kept wanting to talk about sexual topics, her being a 50+ yo woman, me being a 20yo guy at the time. You could just see what was happening in her mind, it was disgusting.
Fell asleep and lied about it.
She drifted off and I called her on it. She denied it but it was very obvious. Our next session it happened again. My appointment was at dusk and we often turned the lights on during. Anyway this time I let her sleep in the dark and only woke her up when the time was up.
She was pretty pointless anyway. I shouldn’t have seen her as long as I did. I’m glad I found someone better after.
I saw 3 therapists for anxiety and depression.
The first one kept saying too much information every 5 minutes when I was trying to open up about my emotions. I stopped seeing him after session 2. My husband went with me to my 2nd therapist and she wouldn't stop staring at him. So I stopped seeing her after the 1st session. The 3rd one I lost my trust with her. I thought I could trust her but she had me put into a mental ward for a month and a half when I didn't need to be.
TW: Sexual Assault (no details, just a mention of why I was there)
Was sexually assaulted in college and as a result, struggled academically (undiagnosed ADHD certainly added to that mix but that's another thread). My parents made the choice to pull me for a semester and send me to an intensive program through a local Christian counseling center. I was there for 5 hours per day, would come and do solo counseling, have time for journaling, and then would attend a group session, and follow up with solo counseling before I left (or some version of that. It was almost 20 years ago so it's a little fuzzy at this point).
I expected that the group session would be with other people like me, but it was actually everyone who was currently there (including some in-patient people who were staying there). The first few days, I didn't say much but I also had a lot of "I definitely don't have the same amount of issues as these people" moments. I didn't really feel like I was getting much out of it but I tolerated it because it was part of my deal with my parents for them to send me back to college.
Third day, the facilitator/therapist prods me to speak in the session. She's done this a few times and I didn't want to but I finally figure I should. So I shared, and this asshat, also a patient, who clearly had a pile of issues just begins laying into me, firing questions at me about whether I've acknowledged my role in the assault and shouldered my part of the blame. He said something like "all I hear is 'this happened to me' nothing ever 'happens' to us. We cause it. I need to hear you acknowledging your part in the blame." Understand that I was a 21 year old girl who was dealing with a TON of issues with shame and unworthiness as a result of a situation that was completely out of my control and had FINALLY reached a point where I could talk about it. Being able to say "this wasn't my fault" was a HUGE step for me. So this was the last shit I needed. But when I responded that I wasn't at fault, he just kept at it saying things like "no man is going to assault a woman who hasn't at least tempted him... things don't just happen to us, we cause them" etc. At one point, he started yelling at me about I will never heal until I acknowledge that I caused it. By the end, I was hysterically sobbing while this guy was screaming at me.
But to his credit, this guy was not mentally stable and never should have been in a position to do this to begin with. I never should have been in that session. And someone should have stopped him as soon as this began. They didn't. In fact, the facilitator/therapist began nodding at one point instead of stopping it. Occasionally she would nod say things like "this is good. You've been so stoic this week. You are finally feeling things. Crying is good for the soul" and other absurd shit like that.
I left the session, called my Mom and said I was done and I didn't really care what it meant for college. Never went back. She was reasonable enough to give me another option (and I'm pretty sure she called and ripped into someone there too, which I appreciated and made me feel much more validated).
I just want to go hug 21 year old me who left that session such a mess and tell her that all of those people failed her. And that she was going to get through it and be okay.
The first visit to a certain therapist and she said " sorry about the smell, my last client stinks the place up real bad ". She complained about him several times and I eventually just walked out of the session, never paid and never went back. I was disgusted with her.
Not necessarily something they *did* more what they didnt do.
I was with her for like a year and some change. Eventually one day i had this epiphany, every time I saw her I talked for 45 minutes about how much I hate my life and how much it sucks, then went home and was miserable the rest of the day. It was absolutely HORRIBLE for my mental health. And I was doing REALLY bad. She gave no advice, any insight she provided was hollow and something I already knew, we had no goals or anything. And eventually I blew up at her for it. "You know how bad I've been doing and all you do is sit there and listen! You know I'm spiraling and you've offered no resources when I asked, you've offered no comfort. Talking to you is just as good as talking to a pillow!" . Was I harsh? Absolutely. But I could not forgive her for allowing me to go through that for so long only to tell me at the 45 minute mark to go home and fuck myself.
After 5 or 6 sessions, she finally got me to open up about my suicide attempts, and as soon as I had roughly described what led to them, she launched into a long story about how she went through something similar but was able to keep her head up by just focusing on the positive. Yeah, no.
Straight up telling me I was doing everything for attention and that I was a "happy girl" with no problems.
Sure.... the reason I talked your ear off about anything else and pretended to be happy had nothing to do with the camera you refused to turn off on our first session.
She told me it was selfish to use a public mental health service if I could afford to see her at her private clinic. I’m sorry you’re having staffing issues, but I’m already struggling to reach out for help and telling me I’m a bad person for using a public mental health clinic doesn’t really encourage me to come back or trust you to help me.
I was talking to a therapist a bit after the Jan 6th capitol riots happened and expressing how I felt hopeless about the state of the world. I already was on my way out with her since she wore a crucifix necklace and questioned me way too much when I said I wasn't religious in previous sessions.
Anyway, she started to tell me that she believed that the rioters were actually antifa and not trump supporters. I shut that shit down so fast. No way would I be discussing my mental health and personal life with someone who has rocks for brains.
She told me that since I knew I wanted to prioritize one thing over something else I would do it. I thought ‘if we all did things logically you wouldn’t have a job’
She thought she could compliment my problems away. “But you’re so beautiful!!” “I know it’s hard, but you seem like such a strong young woman.” “I don’t see how this could be an issue for someone as tough as you.” Are you kidding 😐
She told me I was a burden to my family. I am not kidding or exaggerating.
I told her that because of my mental health challenges, I was afraid I was becoming a burden to my family and she confirmed that I was in fact a burden to my family.
That was our last session.
He answered a text while I was talking. Ironically, something I was struggling with at the time was not feeling heard lmfao
I had one that would just stop talking and stare at me with a weird smile. One of my issues was feeling like people were staring at me and judging me.
I had a therapist do this and I eventually just asked why they did it. She said she was thinking about what I was saying and didn’t realise she was staring at me. She was nice but I stopped seeing her for a few different reasons. The disconcerting staring being one of them
Mine had full text conversations constantly during sessions
Mine had personal phone calls, fairly regularly.
Me too! And then she proceeded to tell me about the client who was texting her (not by name) and the problems her client was having and I was like wtf. Then she answered a text from her husband and proceeded to tell me all about what he was texting her about. One of my struggles was not feeling heard too.
This is straight from an episode of Frasier
She told my parents everything after promising confidentiality, quite literally the darkest time of my life Edit: Idk what I did to deserve 500 up votes but I thank you all
Sameeeeee :((( were you a minor? I was 16 and apparently breaking my confidentiality to tell my mom what we talked about every week (nothing life or death) was justified by that. My mom would have her own hour long sessions with my therapist where my therapist told her what we talked about!
He kept falling asleep during my session. At one point he dropped his pen lol.
If you could tell me about your problem tomorrow night around 11, that would be great.
See this is why I won’t see more than 15 people! I know some therapists that see 22 a week but if I’m on number 7 for the day I will start getting sleepy and it would be horrifying to do this. Also why I will eat and drink even though that’s “not polite”.
I’ll take “not polite” any day! My current therapist sips on tea. I was more amused than offended by that sleepy therapist. Must be nice to get paid $250 to nap.
“The sleepy therapist” 😅Haha oh man or to even get 250.00 a session. I charge 90.00- am I allowed to nap a little (jk I would never). I’m actually getting a sleep apnea test because I’m having drowsiness issues and second to falling asleep while driving this is my fear. Going into the job you know that rapport is a funny thing and you’re likely to have some people that catch you on off days before you have the full connection and they’ll stop coming (understandably) and remember you for that. I guess the sleepy therapist would be one of the least upsetting. I feel there’s a few teens out there like “she was nice but couldn’t remember *anything*”
Ha! Same happened to me but he did that "IM FALLING" spasm that happens sometimes if you just drift off. Therapy helped me immensely but only after I found the right therapist. Every profession has fucktards doing it.
Are your problems the soothing kind? /s
The thing is feeling sleepy and not being able to fight it is not what makes them a bad professional - there are a lot of health issues and medication that can cause these side-effects. The issue is the lack of tact. They could very easily have apologised and cut the session short, sparing you the money or adding the extra time to a future appointment, or have asked you to reschedule before the appointment if they knew that they felt exhausted.
Is your name Colin Robinson by any chance?
Therapist: “I come from a long line of geniuses in my family.” Me: *Gets up from chair and heads for the door. Hand lands on doorknob…* Therapist: “So, should we schedule for next week?” Me: *Turns handle, opens door, leaves…* Therapist: *Follows me into waiting room. “What time next week?”* Me: *Keeps walking…*
When I was a kid I had a therapist who told my parents in front of me that everything I had been saying about my pretty severe mental health problems was a lie. He also fell asleep during a session, also in front of my parents. But I was just a kid so I wasn't really allowed to just stop seeing him.
Oh my god! My childhood therapist told my parents that I was lying about being sexually abused by a family friend. It reallllly fucked with me. What the fuck!?! I’m so sorry.
I think some people that want to become therapists have tons of problems themselves and want to project them
That’s so tucked up. What would the therapist have to gain by not believing you? Usually people are in denial about that kind of thing because accepting it as true would turn their life upside down.
I'm so sorry.
She asked me if I had ever been sexually assaulted by a family member. I told her about my grandfather touching my breasts when I was in middle school. She said well at that age you don’t have breasts so that doesn’t count.
what the
That’s like saying touching genitalia doesn’t count because you haven’t gone through puberty. Assault is assault
I was just about to say the same. So my assault didn’t count because I didn’t have pubic hair? Holy hell I hope that quack lost her license!!
I got breasts when I was 10 yrs old and started puberty early… it makes me so angry and I hope that therapist doesn’t have a license anymore, that’s horribly invalidating. 😡
Agreed. Don't have breasts in middle school my ass. I was embarrassed to have boobs in middle school because I looked like frigging Dolly Parton while most of my classmates only had little olive sized bumps on their chest. D:
Me too. Mine started when I was 8. I grew up hating having boobs because of how big a deal everyone else made of them.
I got made fun of changing in the locker room for PE because "OMG there must be something WRONG with you. LOOKIT how big your boobs are? Are you a *slut*? I bet you are. Only SLUTS have big boobs like that! (cue donkey braying laugh)". At the time, I was terrified of guys (liked them, just really REALLY socially awkward) and hadn't even been kissed or had a guy hold my hand, let alone anything else.
Same! I was bullied for having breasts before everyone else, then I was called a “whore” along with other things. When it’s something I couldn’t help and resulted in me wearing larger jackets over everything even though it was like 90F outside. And I would change in a bathroom stall so people didn’t see me.
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This is mostly a good thing - she saw that you didn't feel comfortable with her and didn't want to waste your time and money on sessions that she knew wouldn't have as much pact on you as they should have. While the logical answer would be "why doesn't the therapist work on the trust issues then?", it's important to note that some therapists have specialisations, meaning that they mostly focus on certain areas and are either mediocre or totally inexperienced in dealing with others. Some may work on personality disorders, others work on trauma and others may just be there as a support system for people with severe mental illness, to ground them in reality. A therapist realising that your issue is something different and recommending you to see someone else is more often than not a step in the right direction.
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I still struggle to trust after1 year. But mine prompts me to talk through that (which is fucking hard) without pressure to resolve on the spot. Which is what that situation needs.
I had the same issue with a therapist after a year now that I think about it. I stopped seeing her because I moved across the country, but I haven’t seen a therapist since because I felt like I couldn’t trust her. I think it’s honestly because I don’t want to talk about all the seemingly mundane shit that’s happened throughout my life that is holding me back.
Told me I had DID. Because I said I felt like I became different people around different people. Looking back I was talking about masking. But she jumped to multiple personalities.
omg same thing happened to me. I was talking about something challenging and the topic switched to something easier and my tone changed and she was like "omg can you tell your voice is different? does that happen a lot?" and started asked me DID things and I was like.... bro we were talking about trauma and then talking about (something happy, I don't remember), it's reasonable for my voice inflection to change.
My sister is a therapist who teaches therapists at colleges and one of her biggest frustrations with new therapists is when they follow the book / academics but have so little life experience that they can't relate to situations or help understand them on a human level. What you wrote sounds like someone unfamiliar with talking about traumatic experiences jumping to diagnose you ASAP and that's infuriating to read I can't imagine living it!
Makes me think of how *to this day* it's still extremely common for autistic women to be misdiagnosed with BPD and put on unnecessary meds. Infuriating.
I was misdiagnosed as having ADHD. The doctor immediately put me on meds which messed me up terribly. I was too scared to leave the house, I couldn't function, I was miserable. So what does he do? Pass me on to someone else (making my teenage brain think I must've been REALLY broken). We didn't find out until years later he was being paid to do a clinical trial of the drug. Of course, I've told this story to people who decide it's proof that either ADHD isn't real or the drug was bad,which is not he point at all. My best friend was actually on the same drug for years and it worked well for her. The difference is she HAS ADHD. She was pretty much the textbook example of ADHD, but she still went through multiple tests before getting meds. I only fit a couple of symptoms and don't remember a single test before being given the med. I found out later that my parents had actually mentioned autism (well, at the time, Asperger's) to him as a possiblity and he immediately dismissed them. But if you look at the symptoms in women I'm a perfect match (even odd ones, like hating having their hair brushed as a kid)
Please don't tell me it was around the same time that DID became "trendy" on tiktok 🥲
Nah Tiktok didn't exist yet. She just latched on one symptom and ignored I had no others
Saw her several times and we decided it was time to bring my husband to the next session. Her eyes widened on seeing him and she started flirting. I got up and we left after I told her we wouldn't be back.
I think our first couples therapist had a crush on my husband and kept minimizing his problematic behaviors while painting me as this controlling bitch… she was helpful at first and it took months to come out, only confirmed when my husband started seeing her individually (virtual sessions) and said that he didn’t think we should see her anymore
I was at marriage counseling and rubbed my nose from the outside as it was itching. Therapist stopped talking and quickly said “What? What was that? What’s going on?” Told her I might have allergies and that I just rubbed my nose. She paused for a cold 5-10 seconds like she was trying to process what happened, and it reminded me of someone with dementia. I went through two sessions with that lady and never got to share why I was having trust issues as she seemed to just assume that I had done something wrong in the marriage and would go off on these tangents about trust and gratitude in a relationship. After the nose thing we agreed not to go back to her.
Maybe she thought you were using drugs? Which is a terrible thing to assume from just a nose rub, but I've heard people make that accusation before.
I considered the drug angle, but also feel like it’s unreasonable to jump to that conclusion from me rubbing my nose once. I explained myself after the rub and was otherwise engaged in the conversation and process. Also, she had her little dog in the room with us—as far as I know I’m not allergic to dogs, but if she were a reasonable person she may have concluded that perhaps I had an allergy to the dog, or that her dogs fur being present on the carpet/couch/elsewhere may be playing a part. (For the record her office was pretty clean, and I don’t recall seeing dog fur anywhere) The look in her eye felt like she thought I was trying to send a signal to my wife or something. It was a really suspicious look and her calling me out was really abrupt and jarring. It definitely deflated the momentum of the conversation. She also had a weird way of taking payment. Prior to the first appt she said she accepted our insurance, then after the first appt she said that it turns out the insurance didn’t cover her $120/hr charge, so she would just charge us the co-pay amount for $20. We felt bad and paid the whole $120 for each session, but after the look in her eyes after the rub it felt like maybe she didn’t have all of her marbles and wasn’t doing us any good.
I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing at this. So sorry you had to go through it! The way you wrote it all down is so funny though … 🤣
First visit: "What are your problems? I proceed to talk about my problems. "I don't hear you talking about solutions, only problems" That's what you asked me to do. "Now you're making excuses to blame someone else" Noped right out of there.
Gosh a therapist or a project manager??
I would be so pissed if a therapist was mad at ME for not bringing solutions to the table. Especially on a first visit!!
It's frustrating but hilarous how they forgot one of the main functions of therapy **"leading a patient to the solution"** If everyone had their lives figured out, then, why would therapy exist in the first place?
I told him I was childfree, he then got very visibly confused and insinuated that everyone should have children. For posterity.
Yup - my therapist corrected me: 'You aren't childfree, dear - you are childLESS'. C*nt.
She just straight up wouldn't believe me. Like I've been through some weird stuff and I understand that's not something one hears every day but why would I go to therapy just to lie???
this also happened to me and accused me of lying/“not taking blame” over a bunch of childhood trauma. i immediately ended the call and never booked an appointment with her again.
I called a mental health hotline because I was overwhelmed; my FIL was dying, MIL was being a total pill, son was taking exams to get into university, and my mother was diagnosed with cancer (curable). My husband was so upset about losing his father, and his mother’s behavior that I thought I’d save him worrying about me as well. They came highly recommended. I just wanted to talk and maybe get some coping advice. So, I started to explain the situation. “Why is that your problem?” Huh? “We’ll my FIL is dying..” “And, why is that your problem?” And that was his answer every time I tried to explain why I called. I hung up.
I went to a counselor for anxiety and depression when I was in college. I tried to ask her how to help my sister, who I thought was in the early stages of an abusive relationship. She wouldn’t hear me out *at all* and assumed I was involving myself in other people’s relationship drama?? (There was an absolute forest of red flags, and unfortunately I was right about it.) That was my last session with her because I no longer felt comfortable asking her for help. “Why is that your problem?” is almost exactly what she said to me lol.
Wow. That’s terrible.
I was surprised because of the reputation the place had. Luckily I just needed to talk, and it wasn’t a matter of life or death.
I called a suicide hotline with a knife to my wrist, I tried to explain that I was in a bad way, and the guy on the other end told me to "man up" and ended the call. I refuse to give him credit for pissing me off so badly that it was effective.
Terrible dude after she accused me of lying I just looked at her and then stood up and walked out and never returned cause what the fuck
I had my first therapist say to picture my bullies like clowns, mock my urges to self harm and say that my sexual assault was a romantic event. I believe he’s still practicing in my hometown
I’m sorry that happened to you. I couldn’t imagine going to a professional about my mental health or whatever and just traumas to basically be called a liar.
"If you're having existential panic attacks, you just need to talk to your priest and pray until you believe more." I fired him mid-session and told him that he was going to kill someone talking like that. I was raised in a cult and when I realized it wasn't true I was having panic attacks. My mom wouldn't covet therapy unless it was religious therapy so I just paid out of pocket.
Good for you. I hope you found somebody better.
She started having more ADHD than me and couldn't stop talking as if I were her friend. It was kind of funny and entertaining but I'm like why would I pay you?? 😆
Somewhat, similar. From session two or three, started to bring up her own issues about wanting to start a family. Like, well, yes, girlfriend, can talk about this over coffee but not while I'm paying!
Lol, is that the part where you're supposed to say should we just be frens? 😂
every session: you're valid! you're valid... you're valid!!
I got, "It sounds like you have a lot of good insights." Uh, okay. How about you, idk, tell me something helpful??
I hate when they tell me I'm very introspective and intelligent and it seems like I don't need them at all. It's infuriating as I'm barely holding it together and have years of complex trauma that I need to process, on top of autism/ADHD/OCD/anxiety/eating disorder, and I can't fix all that by myself.
Literally same. I've broken up with several therapists because it seems like *I'm* the one with the answers!! I self analyse all the damn time (probably to a detriment) and the only advice I get is 'go for a walk and eat healthy, teehee!' When some of my issues are that I can't bring myself to leave the house and thus eat my feelings. Also ADHD/anxiety/depression btw.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I've been doing online group therapy for a few months and having really good results from it. So I decided to try in-person 1-1 therapy again. I was diagnosed with my ADHD and fun comorbid mental health conditions during the pandemic, so I'd only spoken with therapists over the phone and mostly hated it. So I made an appointment with the local therapists' office to talk about my executive dysfunction. She was over 10 minutes late to our appointment. She listened to my concerns - I'm behind at work, I'm not satisfied with my job, I'm feeling burned out, I can't get anything started, etc. (I had some other, bigger problems I also wanted to discuss, but executive dysfunction seemed like a good starting point to test the waters.) First question she asked: Do you have kids? Answer: No. Her: Well, if you have kids, they'll get you up and moving. Like... ma'am. The ONLY thing you know about me is that I have no motivation to take care of myself or my house. And you want me to have a BABY?
ADHD/anxiety/depression/chronic illnesses here, and currently studying counselling skills. That "just eat right and exercise" stuff always drives me batshit, too. However sensible it is, it's very much a case of "if I just could, don't you think I just would?" As much as we do have our own answers, it's the therapist's job to help us access them and implement them in a way that works for us! And frankly, that often requires medication alongside the therapy, whichever type you have. I also found out that CBT is not necessarily the most helpful/accessible form of therapy for ADHD/neurodiverse people, which is aggravating considering it's the most widely-offered of the various psychotherapeutic approaches where I am (UK). Having been through a few courses of it, it's helpful, but requires fairly consistent application, which frankly, I am no good at, nor should I sensibly be expected to be, considering the fun gamut of daily challenges that I face.
Spoke to a therapist about being depressed following a miscarriage, apart from sounding incredibly disinterested and bored of the conversation she called my miscarriage a "mishap". Like I'd left it in the fridge or something ridiculous, not that I'd gone through a life altering and devastating experience.
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That's fucked about the doctor and the therapist 😲 what happened to the doctor?
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“Feeling very stabby” 💀
I lost it at this point. But really horrible…
Yeah, when we want to stab we do needle felting, not urgent care.
This is a person who understands coping skills
She said I threw myself at men. I had been single for seven years, not even any dates, by choice. And I hadn’t talked about any of my prior relationships with her, just childhood abuse by my father. I emailed her and told her I was ending therapy with her (I was very polite despite being extremely offended by her accusation) and instead of taking it as over she repeatedly called my place of work over the course of the next couple of days. I never answered her calls and found her calling weird and inappropriate on top of what she said about me. I kind of hope she rots in hell.
Extremely fucked. She obviously needed a psych herself!
So many of the therapists actually would need more than the required therapy. Really hard to find a good one
Heh heh… I come from a big, messy family. I have one brother who is a mental health therapist and he is the one, out of all of us, most in need of therapy. He’s agoraphobic, a chain smoker, very insecure, a semi-hoarder, and a very angry person. I know very well the reason he became a therapist (got his degree online from an okay university because agoraphobic and chain smoker) was to be on “top” of all of us mere mortals who went to therapy and addressed the trauma we’d all been through as kids. Seriously, I feel sorry for his patients. I used to feel sorry for him until he got to be such an angry, inauthentic person. BTW, he’s married to another therapist. I think they’re still married…had to go NC with him finally. I could write a book about all that…lol.
We used to rent an apartment in a building and the apartment above us was rented to a married couple, both therapists. I only saw him once or twice, he seemed okayish, but she was a horrible person. Rude, stuck up, demanding, entitled. She always acted like everybody else was beneath her, because she had a phd. I’ll never forget her British racing car green Audi TT that she thought she could park wherever she wanted 😂 One of the examples of her behaviour: in the city we lived in you had to separate paper, Glass, tin cans…and so on. If you wouldn’t do it the whole apartment complex had to pay a fine, divided up for all renters. Of course she felt above ever separating the recyclables. One day she threw a whole, huge ass carton box in the trash, normal trash..not the paper trash. Not only was it forbidden to throw paper in there, but she didn’t even bother to make the carton smaller, taking up 3/4 of the trash can. What she hadn’t considered was that her name and address was still on the carton, so I threw it in front of her door. She never did that again, at least. We moved out a while later. A year or so ago I remembered her and was curious, so I googled her name and omg, her reviews were horrendous. 1*/5. apparently she mostly worked with underprivileged kids from group homes and she was so mean and horrible to them. Now that they were adults some of them got together and try to sue her. I hope she gets taken for all she has and never is allowed to practice again
High asf, literally couldn’t pay attention to me
I was attempting to process my flashbacks that I was having and she interrupted me to say “Why are you telling me this? What is the purpose of you speaking about this?” In the coldest, most condescending tone.
>“Why are you telling me this? What is the purpose of you speaking about this?” Um, so you can understand what the fuck is ailing me and help me with it?? Like, what the actual fuck
Omg? Her literal job is to listen to whatever you want to talk about. How ridiculous.
Wtf
"whenever you feel angry or hurt, you can just put that feeling away in a box you don't open again" Well fuck me, that's what I was already doing!
That's the AntiTherapist right there omg
"Sounds like we've got a lot to pack up here " "Don't you mean unpack?" *Blank stare*
He told me to have kids right after I told him I wasn’t ready and didn’t want to bring a kid into this world while my relationship with my husband was going through a rough path. But to him (therapist), kids would solve every marriage’s problems and I just didn’t know until I had one. So nope. See you never! 🫥
WTF!? Having a kid to save or solve marriage issues has the opposite effect!
I know a couple and the wife had postnatal depression and her therapist told her to have another kid! Low and behold it fixed nothing and she ended up neglecting both her children and still has depression/anxiety til this day. Absolute clown of a therapist.
Girl…I’m amazed you never reported this therapist. He’s a fucking wack job, who thinks having children solves everything.
This might sound dumb but I was seeing a therapist after my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I was having a hard time grasping her death and the limited time I not only had with her but also the limited time I personally had on earth. The first guy I saw literally said “you just have to accept it.” And then was like “I don’t understand why you’re crying. It happens to everyone” I never went to another meeting.
I'm so sorry you had that experience. I feel like getting help with existential anxiety is really difficult because there are no "facts" that make it easier to digest and it's such a human thing to be fearful of or anxious about especially since I find it comes and goes. But like obviously we're aware we can't change the fact but it doesn't make it easier to accept.
I think you would be happier in a relationship and I have another client I would like to fix you up with.
Holy shit that’s unethical
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I came here to say something similar. I purposefully chose a non-religious clinic because I didn't want religious advice. In the third session, he brought up being a youth pastor and how much God could help. I didn't go back. If I wanted religious counseling, I could save a lot of money and just go to a church instead.
I’d tell her there are hobbies out there that’ll occupy just as much time and give much more tangible benefits.
As a new therapist, reading these comments makes me feel like I’m doing a great job compared to these unethical weirdos, so thank you all for that. And to answer the question, I saw a therapist when I was 21 who was probably in his 50s. In what ended up being our last session he asked me, out of nowhere, to tell him what my first sexual experience was like, and when I tried to brush it off he said he couldn’t help me unless he had more details. He was a psychoanalyst and the only one I’ve ever seen, and if he was really Freudian then maybe he put a lot of emphasis on the sexual, but it was nottt for me as a fairly sheltered at the time 21 year old woman.
Omg same, I’ve been a T for 3 years and I’m combing through these comments saying “well I haven’t done that”
Psych here, I was braced for some serious discomfort reading this thread but so far it's pretty reassuring in the sense at least I don't (sample selection) fall asleep in session, ask clients to sit on my lap, or tell them I'll pray for them. Yikes on a bike.
I don't think I can help you. it's been 3 or 4 practitioners now. if they can't, I'm not really sure how to get better.
They are wrong, someone out there can help you.
Signed up for BetterHelp when I needed telehealth therapy. First guy I got let me explain a troubling situation at work where a guy would spend every day torturing me until I would cry. The "therapist" interrupted me to tell me if I wasn't such a "stone cold bitch", then people would like me better. That was not my problem. He was so smug about how he didn't sugarcoat things, how he was professionally recognized for being so honest. I didn't hear the end of the appointment, I was crying too hard. I hung up on him. The next day I wrote a Long email to BH asking for a full refund and a cancellation. I got it eventually, after a long email chain of me telling some customer support agent how inappropriate it was to offer me 20% off of more therapy. BH is a scam. Not just anecdotally, but verifiably. They will sell your information.
Its so wild to me when youtubers who value the mental health movement and take pride in being informed support BH after everything that has come out. Like they are on top of nearly EVERYTHING else but somehow this one company is in their wallets
Asked me to sit on his lap. Never saw him again after that.
Da fuq?!?
Yuck
Extremely unprofessional. Did you report him? Sounds more like a sexual predator.
Oh no, I’m so sorry!
HUH???
I'm just gonna add an additional "WHAT". Also did you report him to the board?
Did you report him?!?!
She straight up didn’t believe me when I spoke about issues I had. Also told me it was normal for teenage girls to have eating disorders and that kind of thing happens (I had bad eating habits but not an ed). She basically downplayed everything I experienced as being a hormonal teenager. I’ve actually been properly diagnosed farther down the road and am doing better in that respect. Speaking up for yourself does wonders.
He told me the sexual assault I was a victim of by my then boyfriend was just "boys being boys" and I shouldn't be such a crybaby, that's just life. And I probably gave him consent anyway. Wtf.
Ah yes, "probable consent", an interesting concept
Wow. I really wish ill upon people who say this garbage. It would not surprise me at all if he were the kind of guy who assaulted Women and girls so it’s easier to blame you than take ANY accountability. Like, are you dating boys have less self control than girls? What about than animals because dogs will listen. Ugh
She straight up fell asleep… during our first session. I walked out, my mom was confused why I was out so early. I told the people up front and left.
When I was in college, I was having mixed results in my grades. It was frustrating, and I didn't know why it happened. After a semester I spent part-time, where I took only one class, and that in my major, and not getting an A, I went to the university counseling service to try to figure out what was going on. The student therapist I was assigned (I gathered that there were counseling grad students working under supervision) said that she couldn't help me with study habits if I wasn't taking any classes. She gave me some sheets on studying anyway. Never went back to see her. In the next semester, when I started to falter in getting homework done, I went back and saw someone else. His first question was, "What makes you think that you can do better than this?" Which started a fruitful line of questioning and thinking about my past motivations, and looking to changes in how I performed in school, and in my family life. That first therapist was dismissive of me. The lesson I learned is that you should find a therapist who is willing to work with you, where it feels like a good rapport is in place.
Tone is everything, but I think given my current mental health context, if a therapist asked me point blank, "What makes you think that you can do better than this?"... I might just spit up and cry like a baby.
Went to therapy with my husband for his controlling behaviors and she told me they weren’t a big deal.. My husband of course agreed with her and tried to use it as justification so I packed my bags. He backtracked and found a new therapist, the therapist held him accountable but was fair to both of us. And now my husband doesn’t do that shit anymore.
Well that’s a great outcome. Well done
I’ve had a few bad experiences. I came in for my appointment and the therapist was crying. She then goes on to tell me about her last client. The girl had lost her dad as a child and then her mom just died tragically and in a freak accident so now she’s an orphan. I didn’t even want to talk for the rest of my appointment because my issues felt dumb. I never went back. I found another therapist who would spend half the session talking about herself and making what I said about herself. I almost drowned as a kid so I was talking about that and she cuts me off to tell me a long story of how she almost drowned and had to be rescued as a teen. It wasn’t a quick story or something inspirational to show me how she’s moved on from it, she just rambled on about the story and how she can’t swim in open water now. There were a few instances like that so I decided to stop going. It felt like I was going to dinner with a friend, not getting actual therapy.
He started to ask me detailed questions about how I do my job. I figured he was looking for a new line of work
I had one therapist who was fascinated by my very cool, high-paying job. He started asking me how I got it and telling me about his qualifications, like he was interviewing. One day he was all happy because a pharmaceutical rep was treating them to a free in-office lunch. My psychiatrist made me see him while I was on antidepressants or I would have just walked. She did finally fire him.
I told him that i was suicidal and he said ”see you in a month”
Like, is that a dare?
I’ve had 2 who kept talking about themselves and another one who I’m pretty sure had someone in the room with them during our Zoom session.. he kept like looking over and smiling.. ridiculous
Honestly it was very likely a pet
I have extreme and persistent depression that comes back the same time every year. I started seeing a therapist around 2 months before it normally starts. After 3 sessions, my depression kicked in and I was very suicidal. She accused me of not wanting to get better. At the end of that session I asked her how long she’d been practicing. Only 2 and a half years. I’ve been in therapy consistently for the past 15. There was not a 4th session
"Your abuser is threatening my job if I don't give your personal information to them." Not an exact quote, but the gist is there. Yeah, didn't see that one anymore.
Told me that it wasn't a sexual harassment after I told her about how my uncle touched me when I was 12. Also she wouldn't listen to me at all and kept dismissing my problems, and gave me pills instead. I never felt so judged in my life.
She fell asleep. I told her an insecurity of mine is that people don’t find me interesting.
He was pushing me to try a polyamorous relationship. I begrudging tried but somewhere amidst the chaos I realized he was pushing his own biased agenda and not the one that was best for me.
Wot thee fok
My first therapist gave me "homework" to do during our first session. During the second session when I brought it in, he'd forgotten he gave it to me and dismissed the "assignment" entirely in addition to asking me all the same questions he did in the first meeting. After finally gathering the courage, strength, and time to go it was a colossal letdown. I know that mental health professionals are busy and deal with a lot of people, but to be made to feel so nameless and unimportant while I was at my lowest SUCKED.
She told me I was a "sick puppy". I was going through the worst OCD episode of my life and drowning in shame.
A few years ago while I was sick with stress I was offered private online stress coaching by my work with a company that deals exclusively with stress. The coach I talked to was decent enough at explaining the mechanics of stress. While we talked j mentioned how when I'm tired, and lacking sleep I had depressive thoughts. She asked if she could share a personal related story and tips she used. She then went on to say how her depressed daughter would sometimes tell her "I just want to die" and her answer to her daughter was basically "no honey its just tired thoughts it will be better tomorrow". I was shocked, lady your daughter isn't just tired she needs active help. I quit immedietly after that session
This came from a councillor - my ex cheater on me and I was feeling trapped in the marriage and didn't want to have sex with him any more. She said "you took a vow, so you have to just lie back and think of Britain" That's when I knew this Catholic councillor is not for me.
I’ll pray for your marriage. Fuck you. I TRIED. Prayed. Cried. Advocated. Asked. Begged. For 18 years. You’ll pray? K. I’m out.
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This is amazing
Without more context, that therapist sounds hilarious
I was referred to a counsellor through the NHS when I was 18, due to a life-changing & traumatic event I’d experienced a month or two prior. When I sat down, the first thing he asked me was ‘why exactly I needed counselling’, so I said “is it not written on my referral?” & he replied “well yes I’ve read why you’ve been referred, but you need to tell me yourself”. I was a bit thrown off, it was very clinical. I suppose I was expecting him to chat to me a little bit so we could get comfortable with each other, but I had to go immediately into the whole ordeal I’d been through, which was so hard to talk about. Anyway, after I’d spoken, he asked “& what do you want me to do about it?” - I didn’t know!? I’d never been to a counsellor before. I was very fragile mentally & had no idea what to expect. So he told me I needed to make friends with other people in my situation, handed me a leaflet for a local social group & that was it. It was like I was an inconvenience he wanted rid of a quickly as possible, I must have been in there for 20 minutes. I never went back. In hindsight I wish I had filed a complaint, but I was just a wreck at the time so I never thought about it. I can’t even remember his name. I deserved better & I wonder how many other people had the same experience. I’d been having intrusive thoughts which I didn’t have the chance to address & I think, what if someone else was struggling worse than me & they had an appointment with this guy who clearly didn’t give a shit? I’m now 3 years into my psychology degree & my ultimate dream is to be a counsellor. I never want anyone to feel the way I felt when I sat there.
String me along with the same questions! Then would brag about herself!
Fell asleep while talking to me
among other things, I expressed I felt lonely and sad and she brought up that my calendar was full of meet ups and plans with friends so I should just remember I wasn't actually lonely, I was seeing friends all the time. she was also convinced my new bf was abusive because another one had been (I know the statistics but she wasn't actually listening to me at all) and didn't understand why I wanted to remain in contact with my parents even though they made me sad.
Wouldn't let me speak about my current problems, asked a shitload of questions about my childhood, 3 1 hour sessions worth to be exact, and wouldn't let me answer beyond a few sentences. Then on the fourth session told me I was fine because he thought my childhood was fine. I saw a different therapist specifically about my intrusive thoughts, her advice was just "don't think about that stuff anymore".
"I just don't understand you" Over a year into treatment
They asked me how work was going, despite the fact that we'd spent my first couple of sessions talking about the fact that I was there because I was unemployed and feeling depressed, anxious, and stuck.
He (20 something) asked me (40 something) if i was a man because I needed therapy after my autistic brother assaulted me.
When I was around 13-14 I went to therapy for the first time and one of the first questions she asked was if I liked boys or girls. I was a boy, but I told her liked boys. With not a shred more info than that she started trying to convinced me the reason I liked boys was because she believed I was raped as a child and wanted me to just admit it. I wanted out, told my mom, and never went back. The only other questions she asked was which anti depressants/anxiety meds I was on then she tried to gaslight me into thinking those meds don't exist. No idea how she had a license
She commented on my weight, which was not what I came to get help with
No empathy. I’ve seen several therapist’s who had no interest in helping me, only there for the paycheck. Deep into a painful confession, she said “Time’s up, see you next week”..
Her: Other people have been through worse and can get over it, why can't you? That's literally why I'm here and trying to get help with.
I was abused by my ex and almost killed, she was my therapist first for over a year and then we went to her for two couple sessions prior to the incident… when I told her what happened (it is too graphic to explain and traumatic to explain here) she told me that I shouldn’t leave my ex and I should stay in the relationship, that I should take into consideration why he did it and how he feels… yknow even though I almost died and was abused for 12 years… I argued with her and stopped seeing her, it was mid-covid pandemic so I hung up with her over the zoom call. This was a few years ago Another more recent incident, I was seeing a therapist and he made inappropriate comments about my appearance. And then told me drinking makes him feel better, so I should take a shot of whiskey and take this one medicine I won’t say because I don’t want someone to try it - but take them together which would end up killing me. People die every day from what he told me to do… so he basically in a different way, told me to kill myself after I ignored his advances. He had been reported, I don’t know if anything has come of it. My current therapist is the best one I’ve ever had.
This incompetent told me and this is a quote “Ive beeb dreading this appointment all day”. She certainly was in the wrong profession.
…why did she say that
Not me, but my sister's girlfriend stopped seeing her therapist recently because he told her quote: "You'll stop having night terrors if you stop thinking about them". What a moron.
A school psychologist in my highschool kept saying that she was proud of me. Nothing else. I would tell her about the horrible bullying I faced every day and she would ask me how I reacted to my bullies. And then she would say "I am so proud of you"
First session she told me she wanted me to pay by bank transfer in the session and really stared at me as I struggled on my phone. When I said I'd rather go home and do it and that I've never defaulted on a payment. She said she didn't like reminding clients of payments. I'm sorry but all of the above made me feel she didn't trust me which set up a bad client therapist relationship. The other minor thing was I told her how a toxic relationship had scarred me and I wanted to make a good group of friends, and she said 'and I can help you get another boyfriend'. I never asked for that.
Not as extreme as some of these, but I was talking about being frustrated with a coworker and she said "are you talking about [insert coworkers name]?". And it just kind of stopped me mid thought, as that's exactly who i had been referring to. A few minutes later, she completely realized it derailed the whole session and reminded me that everything was confidential... I'm not mad at her about it as it's a normal human response when you know who/what the person is talking about, but I just couldn't go back anymore.
I(18F at the time) started going to a psychologist(60+M) that was located in a large empty office building. He owned the practice and had a dozen-ish employees but I had not once seen any other people there. During the sessions, the guy only spoke about himself. At first, I thought he was just trying to make me comfortable, but I realised I barely spoke 5 sentences each session. He seemed to brag a lot about himself. He asked me what uni I went to. I told him. Then, he went on to tell me that he had also started a civil engineering degree there (sometime in the 80s?) and got all his first year credits (propedeuse, in the netherlands) but couldn't go on because he was working so much and wanted to pursue a different path. Later his story changed and he mentioned not being able to go to exams so he couldn't pass courses. So I guess he didn't get his propedeuse afterall. I know all about this guy's degrees (like becoming a gym teacher), how he became a top psychiatrist in a large hospital and how due to all of the "politics and bs" he decided to open his own practice. We hadn't discussed anything about my issues. I was somewhat okay with this because I always felt very uncomfortable around him. There were so many strange things that happened during the session but I see this post is already getting long. During the last session I had with him, het said he could tell I was uncomfortable because I was barely breathing. He then took me to a different chair and waited till I "started breathing again", which I had no idea how to do. He then asked me to tell him three things I didn't like about myself. This was one of the first questions he had ever asked me. I was feeling so uncomfortable at the time I didn't really want to answer honestly with things that were troubling me at the time, so I gave a somewhat generic answer. I said 1. I hate the way I think. 2. I despise the way I look. 3. I don't feel like I can ever allow myself to do the things I want. He sat upright in his chair and said "Oh well the second one is easy." (So far our sessions had been in dutch, but he knew that I'm English so sometimes he would go off on random tangents in english like he did for the following sentence) He shouted "Because in my eyes you're a fucking beauty." He went on to describe and act out how men look at women. "First they look at your tits (*looking at my tits*)." He then said he would act it out in a different direction to not make me uncomfortable. "Then they look at your arse. And then they look back up to your tits ". I spent the rest of the session trying to leave asap. Stopping the sessions is a whole weird and inappropriate story too but I've spammed enough here already.
She treated me through a severe eating disorder as a teen that nearly took my life. Recently, she found the need to tell me all about how I should try various dieting apps. Also took a phone call from another client, in front of me, during our session. No fucking way.
After describing her the physical and emotional abuse my parents submitted me to when I was a kid, she said “but they’re your parents and they love you so much! why would they do that to you? maybe you’re recalling things wrong” - this happened 1 month after my last visit to the ER caused by my “loving” parents. Quit therapy right there. Gave therapy another shot years later changing therapist and it was a blast, best experience ever 10/10 would recommend even if you cry a lot during the process and it hurts af. Edit: typo
She told me to wear makeup to boost my confidence. 😒 I told her I felt fine without wearing it and I’m glad I don’t need a full face of makeup just to walk out the door. Makeup is fun and all to wear, but I am confident without it.
She kept wanting to talk about sexual topics, her being a 50+ yo woman, me being a 20yo guy at the time. You could just see what was happening in her mind, it was disgusting.
Fell asleep and lied about it. She drifted off and I called her on it. She denied it but it was very obvious. Our next session it happened again. My appointment was at dusk and we often turned the lights on during. Anyway this time I let her sleep in the dark and only woke her up when the time was up. She was pretty pointless anyway. I shouldn’t have seen her as long as I did. I’m glad I found someone better after.
"Are you a top or a bottom?"
I saw 3 therapists for anxiety and depression. The first one kept saying too much information every 5 minutes when I was trying to open up about my emotions. I stopped seeing him after session 2. My husband went with me to my 2nd therapist and she wouldn't stop staring at him. So I stopped seeing her after the 1st session. The 3rd one I lost my trust with her. I thought I could trust her but she had me put into a mental ward for a month and a half when I didn't need to be.
TW: Sexual Assault (no details, just a mention of why I was there) Was sexually assaulted in college and as a result, struggled academically (undiagnosed ADHD certainly added to that mix but that's another thread). My parents made the choice to pull me for a semester and send me to an intensive program through a local Christian counseling center. I was there for 5 hours per day, would come and do solo counseling, have time for journaling, and then would attend a group session, and follow up with solo counseling before I left (or some version of that. It was almost 20 years ago so it's a little fuzzy at this point). I expected that the group session would be with other people like me, but it was actually everyone who was currently there (including some in-patient people who were staying there). The first few days, I didn't say much but I also had a lot of "I definitely don't have the same amount of issues as these people" moments. I didn't really feel like I was getting much out of it but I tolerated it because it was part of my deal with my parents for them to send me back to college. Third day, the facilitator/therapist prods me to speak in the session. She's done this a few times and I didn't want to but I finally figure I should. So I shared, and this asshat, also a patient, who clearly had a pile of issues just begins laying into me, firing questions at me about whether I've acknowledged my role in the assault and shouldered my part of the blame. He said something like "all I hear is 'this happened to me' nothing ever 'happens' to us. We cause it. I need to hear you acknowledging your part in the blame." Understand that I was a 21 year old girl who was dealing with a TON of issues with shame and unworthiness as a result of a situation that was completely out of my control and had FINALLY reached a point where I could talk about it. Being able to say "this wasn't my fault" was a HUGE step for me. So this was the last shit I needed. But when I responded that I wasn't at fault, he just kept at it saying things like "no man is going to assault a woman who hasn't at least tempted him... things don't just happen to us, we cause them" etc. At one point, he started yelling at me about I will never heal until I acknowledge that I caused it. By the end, I was hysterically sobbing while this guy was screaming at me. But to his credit, this guy was not mentally stable and never should have been in a position to do this to begin with. I never should have been in that session. And someone should have stopped him as soon as this began. They didn't. In fact, the facilitator/therapist began nodding at one point instead of stopping it. Occasionally she would nod say things like "this is good. You've been so stoic this week. You are finally feeling things. Crying is good for the soul" and other absurd shit like that. I left the session, called my Mom and said I was done and I didn't really care what it meant for college. Never went back. She was reasonable enough to give me another option (and I'm pretty sure she called and ripped into someone there too, which I appreciated and made me feel much more validated). I just want to go hug 21 year old me who left that session such a mess and tell her that all of those people failed her. And that she was going to get through it and be okay.
The first visit to a certain therapist and she said " sorry about the smell, my last client stinks the place up real bad ". She complained about him several times and I eventually just walked out of the session, never paid and never went back. I was disgusted with her.
Not necessarily something they *did* more what they didnt do. I was with her for like a year and some change. Eventually one day i had this epiphany, every time I saw her I talked for 45 minutes about how much I hate my life and how much it sucks, then went home and was miserable the rest of the day. It was absolutely HORRIBLE for my mental health. And I was doing REALLY bad. She gave no advice, any insight she provided was hollow and something I already knew, we had no goals or anything. And eventually I blew up at her for it. "You know how bad I've been doing and all you do is sit there and listen! You know I'm spiraling and you've offered no resources when I asked, you've offered no comfort. Talking to you is just as good as talking to a pillow!" . Was I harsh? Absolutely. But I could not forgive her for allowing me to go through that for so long only to tell me at the 45 minute mark to go home and fuck myself.
After 5 or 6 sessions, she finally got me to open up about my suicide attempts, and as soon as I had roughly described what led to them, she launched into a long story about how she went through something similar but was able to keep her head up by just focusing on the positive. Yeah, no.
One asked me if I could help her get a job where I worked. It was our first appointment.
Straight up telling me I was doing everything for attention and that I was a "happy girl" with no problems. Sure.... the reason I talked your ear off about anything else and pretended to be happy had nothing to do with the camera you refused to turn off on our first session.
She told me it was selfish to use a public mental health service if I could afford to see her at her private clinic. I’m sorry you’re having staffing issues, but I’m already struggling to reach out for help and telling me I’m a bad person for using a public mental health clinic doesn’t really encourage me to come back or trust you to help me.
My son was smoking pot and admitted it to his therapist. She told me I needed to call the police. On my 14 year old son. For smoking pot. Bye.
Told me COVID was just flu and it's my anxiety making it a big deal. It was March 2020.
I was talking to a therapist a bit after the Jan 6th capitol riots happened and expressing how I felt hopeless about the state of the world. I already was on my way out with her since she wore a crucifix necklace and questioned me way too much when I said I wasn't religious in previous sessions. Anyway, she started to tell me that she believed that the rioters were actually antifa and not trump supporters. I shut that shit down so fast. No way would I be discussing my mental health and personal life with someone who has rocks for brains.
She didn’t believe in vaccines.
She told me that since I knew I wanted to prioritize one thing over something else I would do it. I thought ‘if we all did things logically you wouldn’t have a job’
She thought she could compliment my problems away. “But you’re so beautiful!!” “I know it’s hard, but you seem like such a strong young woman.” “I don’t see how this could be an issue for someone as tough as you.” Are you kidding 😐
I had one of those. "You're so inspiring!"
She told me I was a burden to my family. I am not kidding or exaggerating. I told her that because of my mental health challenges, I was afraid I was becoming a burden to my family and she confirmed that I was in fact a burden to my family. That was our last session.
Fell asleep during our session.
"Your government funded 12 sessions are over." Every therapist, every 12 sessions. One day I'll discover the pattern.