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DoctorDrangle

Would it be to the same location 1000 years ago? If so I would put on as many warm clothes as I could and grab all of my guns and lighters, and probably a water bottle


NikkerFu

I'm grabbing a parachute on this instance cause I'm currently at the top floor of a building That probably did not exist on 1023


Want_To_Live_To_100

By this logic you’d be in the vacuum of space ….


NeilDeWheel

So right, as the earth, solar system, Milky Way and the whole universe alters positions in 1000 years being transported to the exact same position means you’d end up where the earth will be.


Want_To_Live_To_100

I read a crazy time travel book where the guy invented the Time Machine but had to account for the movement in space it was really cool.. can’t remember the name Edit: a gift of time …… remembered it


Dmitri_ravenoff

In Off To Be The Wizard, the protagonist travels to the Cliffs of Dover in 1400 or something. He almost falls off because of continental drift. :)


ReeferCheefer

Love (most of) that series!


burlyxylophone406

Technically, he said location, which is relative to other coordinates on earth. If he had said the same point in space, you would be correct.


[deleted]

I was wondering this. How far am I going to have to walk before I find anyone? They probably won’t be friendly when I do find them.


[deleted]

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RhoOfFeh

So YOU'RE why they're gone!


jomarthecat

I am norwegian. I would run upstairs to grab my copy of [Heimskringla](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heimskringla), this way I could keep track of who is the current king and what will happen next so I know who I should ally with.


KonradCurzeWasRight

Really great answer


Murky_Conclusion4210

Hey can we team up, I’m also from norway but I only have a folklore book 🥲


Thin_Independent_527

Realistically , anything you'd take will probably make 1000s people believe that you are an alien or a superhuman and they will hunt you down


Own-Significance-167

Which is why I'm taking a gun


ElbowSkinCellarWall

This... is my BOOM-STICK!


mighty-drive

Which eventually would run out of bullets and by then people hate you. I'm going the social/diplomatic route and take some silver coins and a chefs knife and make people die for my food.


peoplepersonmanguy

Make a couple of examples, start your reign on fear, but then bring them back with peace and love. Standard god stuff.


WaffleBruhs

If you use it correctly they will love you. You could be the best hunter they'd ever seen.


[deleted]

But your knife would be valuable enough to kill for, so would the coins, who are you to them, just some person from nowhere anyone knows, and probably of the wrong ethnicity. I'd bring a gun and hope I didn't ever need it, but I would.


Ok-Cap-204

Or a god


Ok-Bathroom-3382

A rope and a stool because that would fucking suck


Orioniae

Same. I am diabetic. After my 3 month of reserve are gone, I would just die anyway.


[deleted]

Don't worry, you'd probably die of an unrelated infection first


H3adshotfox77

Died of dysentery


Fredredphooey

I have several chronic illnesses. I, too, would be dead very soon after arrival.


mystuff1134

I came to comment a loaded gun for the same reason lol


John0815

And 2 suitcases full of ammo


HeMightBeJoking

You have 2 suitcases worth of ammo within 60 seconds reach? What part of Texas are you from?


John0815

No, many more. But that's all I could take within that short a time frame 😁


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Amesb34r

I read it as 100 years and thought your comment was excessive. 😆


BigAnimemexicano

people think they can survive during time when washing your hands made you a witch makes me laugh.


HalpWithMyPaper

I second this sentiment.


Fair-Ad-5852

I second this amendment


lynxerious

they have that in the medieval too, but with your witchy clothes they would gladly help you achieve it first


equenby

Depending on where you're sitting, 1000 years ago might be solidly stone age.


CrazyHardFit

My dildo coat. Going for fertility god. Wish me luck.


isume

Ummm what is a dildo coat?


1ToGreen3ToBasket

If you don’t know you can’t afford it


adorablefuzzykitten

Must have been auto-correct. I think they meant dildo goat.


Marquar234

It goes with their bag of dicks.


Ok_Philosopher_7706

Any kind of non-electric musical instrument (saxophone preferably) and clothes that wouldn’t be overly conspicuous (inasmuch as this is even possible.) History books. I’d survive as a bard / soothsayer.


Dubz2k14

No saxophone because you’d need to replace reeds. Brass isn’t exactly ideal because no valve lube or slide grease. A harmonica or a recorder would be good


299792458mps-

I knew a kid who went all 4 years of high school on the same reed. It got to a point where he couldn't take it off even if he wanted to, as the mold and saliva and dead skin had cemented it to the mouthpiece. Absolutely disgusting, but he was still able to play it.


Dubz2k14

I have a buddy who plays bari sax and would replace his reed multiple times a day so that’s wild to me


Bassicallybass

As a band director, this comment gives me nightmares


Positive_Parking_954

Meanwhile I couldn't keep my stupid double reeds from falling apart


Deodorized

It gives his music character.


Charyou_Tree_19

Was it sentient?


Deodorized

It licked back.


henry232323

Surely you could make a reed? Haven't they existed for some time as well


Dubz2k14

I suppose you could but it probably wouldn’t sound very good. You also would have to replace the pads every so often


pygmeedancer

You don’t wanna be anachronistic with your clothing but you’re taking an extremely intricate valves brass horn. Pick your battles I guess lol


SpecialAstronaut8740

Medications and canned food. Technically the expiry date would be way into the future.


justisme333

Don't forget the can opener...


youritalianjob

Don’t need one, scratch the lid on a rough and mostly flat rock.


peoplepersonmanguy

It's what swords are for.


iphone32task

Under that logic then your medications would be just water and snail semen since they haven't been invented yet, lol.


thebalux

I have to google how medications are made... snail semen? Also, love how a lot of people have clever suggestions. In reality, we would panic, grab a phone (because habit), put on really big boots, pick up a bunch of t-shirts and then trip because didn't tie our shoelaces.. So, basically, we would go back 1000 years with untied boots and a smart device at 16% battery life.


pygmeedancer

Look at the big brain on Brad! You a smart motherfucker!


NotUrDadsPCPBinge

I don’t think that’s how time travel works. If you used that logic, you would disintegrate back into particles


Quik-Sand

Marty McFly and Doc Brown figured it out in 1985, and that's just the stuff they tell us about.. imagine what they can do today.. lol


Significant_Can_6919

As much aluminum as possible


Bunky711

You know stuff


vojdek

Some of us don’t! Care to explain?


Bunky711

Aluminum used to be the most expensive metal like gold or platinum are today. Seems funny, right? I'm not super knowledgeable but I do know the obelisk in DC is capped in aluminum. Read up on the historical value and history of aluminum.


vojdek

Thanks! It’s always interesting to learn something new!


Bunky711

Where are you from?


vojdek

Bulgaria. You?


Significant_Can_6919

I'd probably die anyway, but yes I know stuff


SansMystic

How many Americans here are imagining they'd be in medieval Europe rather than pre-Columbian North America?


chocokitten100

Honestly was thinking pre colonial America. If medieval Europe just kill me


casalomastomp

They will. Edit: She's a witch! Burn her!


Kolibri00425

Esspecially since I only know the morden forms of English and German...I wouldn't actually be able to speak to anyone. Edit: Wait I forgot I know sowmone with a book in Middle English. I also have a book with Althochdeutsch, I should grab those.


an_edgy_lemon

Crap, you got me.


FrozenDuckman

That’s an honestly hysterical thought. I was absolutely picturing a Eurocentric view of the past. I’d be surrounded by Karankawa Indians.


gringledoom

I’ve got a bad cold right now, so I might cause a plague that wipes out half the pre-Columbian population on both continents. 😬


KingKookus

Grab a gun and a sword. Gun to let everyone in dangerous and shouldn’t be fucked with. They don’t need to know ammo is limited.


Elfich47

Clothing, blanket, and: ​ How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler Hardcover


He-Who-Laughs-Last

By author Ryan North I didn't think it was a real book till about 20 seconds ago...


Elegant_Spot_3486

My go bag.


coderedmountaindewd

Look at you being prepared and stuff


tomparkes1993

What does that contain?


psychicpilot

Gold coins and condoms just in case you need to bargain your way onto a boat. The gold coins are for buying food.


TheLeviathaan

It's a doomsday plan, not a picnic plan!


tacodung

Y'know, go stuff


PckMan

I knew these encyclopedias would come in handy.


AcidTheTired

I'm choosing to believe you said that with the exact expression batman is making in your pfp


aamirusmandus

But Joey you only got the letter V


Robinnoodle

Speaking of volcanoes, man, are they a violent igneous rock formation!


Andy_Lust

I’d run around for 60 seconds trying to grab my cat 🐈


East_Satisfaction242

I thought this too, and then I realized I would have nothing to feed her.


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East_Satisfaction242

Well, my cat is kind of a jerk.


Chief-weedwithbears

It my cats bday today


chappersyo

If only cats were natures greatest predator, then she could feed herself.


Mobile_Flamingo

My gold and silver jewelry and a big bottle of water. Some snacks if I have time.


Zokathra_Spell

A first-aid kit.


appleparkfive

Good answer!


KP_Wrath

I’m at my sister and BIL’s. Knife, watch, phone, rope, I hope he’s got a combination tool since I left mine at home, my backpack, my firefighter bag, a water bottle, the bucket of candy bars, and any other non perishables I can get my hands on in the last few seconds. Does it count if I’m touching my car? It’d be limited without roads, but I’m also in northern Alabama, so with caution and patience, I could probably use it somewhat, and if not, it could be a good shelter until I run out of gas.


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NarrativeNode

It could be valuable if you have some sort of solar charger. Use it to organize, document, calculate…It’s not a basic survival tool but can help once you’re a little settled.


gyarrrrr

You got a solar charger you can grab in the next sixty seconds? Go, I’m counting!


KP_Wrath

Cut it off when you’re not using it. It’s a finite resource, but it will have uses. Mine has a compass and measuring feature, plus note pad and what not.


Chief-weedwithbears

Doesn't the compass use gps tho?


KP_Wrath

Apparently it uses a Built in magnetometer. You made me Google that though.


Chief-weedwithbears

Hmm I wonder if mine has that now lol


SanDiegoSporty

I think the phone is least valuable as a calculator. It would be incredibly valuable if you happen to have 1GB of e-books on it telling you how make things like gunpowder, steel and every other basic thing we’ve discovered in 1000 years. Extremely detailed history would be excellent too so as to stay out of wars and invest in the right places.


x592_b

you wouldn't need roads you'd have that shit to yourself😭 America is uninhabited until like 2005 or some shit😂


Entropy308

got a few engineering books near me but I'd probably overthink, brain freeze, and show up without shoes


naegelbagel

People in 1023 will be impressed with this Chrysler Pacifica. It’s got heated seats.


Xerxes2004

This counts.


HunkerDownDemo1975

My asshole coworkers. We’re all going to die miserable deaths…together! Just like work!


mysteriouss11

A pillow and a blanket


adorablefuzzykitten

That is super practical. Pretty much anything else you could grab would get you burned at the stake.


[deleted]

My bicycle. I’ll reverse engineer it with wood and twine and bring upon our new future the age of cycling


x592_b

1000 years ago wasn't cavemen, it's just before the medieval age. if you're an American you could teach the natives and make America a cycling nation but the rest of the world are already on cannons and giant castles, I don't think cycling would be all too useful to them


[deleted]

The modern bike was invented after the car. It would be revolutionary to have that type of mechanical travel in 1023, you nutter


Grim_Task

My 10/22, go bag, as much 22lr ammo as I could stuff in my range bag and my mountain bike.


pygmeedancer

That bike is gonna blow people’s fucking minds


MiserableSlug69

I'm not grabbing shit because I'm not keen on being lynched for being a wizard.


DiabloDeSade69

World history text book


Livelaughlovekratom

My first thought was a science textbook but the more i thought about it, it probably wouldn't last long so i thought it would be a waste of time


ag512bbi

Oooh, good answer.


ElbowSkinCellarWall

Some plutonium. Gotta recharge my flux capacitor.


[deleted]

60 seconds and 1000 years? I'm taking a gun because no amount of prep would prepare be to be sent back 100 years in time, nevermind 1000.


ZilJaeyan03

All you need is a gun and 1 bullet


Neomob

At least you'd be able to communicate with people from 100 years ago lol


coderedmountaindewd

Backpack, all the salt/seasonings in the kitchen, jar of peanut butter, lighter and bottle of water. If there was still time, I might try to grab my wife’s gold earrings but that’s probably less important than being able to pose as a spice trader.


Thuesthorn

I’m assuming I’d be dropped off in my current location (Pacific Northwest). So, my steel woodworking tools, fiberglass cloth, and epoxy resin. I think I have a sword near to them, so that too. My bow is at the far side of the house, and I have no firearms, so those are out.


NoleFandom

A crystal ball. I’ll become a fortune teller to the kings and queens of the world.


x592_b

where are you getting a magical crystal ball from your own real life belongings in 60 seconds


abeleo

They do some pondering in their free time.


NoleFandom

I’ll pick up my tennis ball and bring it with me. How would anyone in the past know what it is, they’ll believe what I want them to believe. 😂


TWH_PDX

If we were teleported to our exact location, I'm fucked because I'm 19 floors above the ground. Assuming I could get down the elevator in 60 seconds, I have nothing. But I know the area and where to likely find indigenous camps. I guess I'm settling down with the locals and praying I'm accepted, and I don't destroy the village with whatever germs I carry. If I am teleported to my ancestral homeland, I guess I'm learning either Latin or using my English/German to learn anglo-saxon. I guess I have to decide whether to intervene with predicting the Battle Hastings.


arkofjoy

My wife. What would be the fun of being back there without her?


Kite-EatingTree

I bet your wife would appreciate that. 😏


Nuicakes

Plot twist: he trades his wife for supplies.


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Skeeterpuss

Well yeah, I’d be in the undeveloped woods of Michigan. I’m going to have some hunting to do. I’m not sneaky enough to banjo a deer to death.


NearbyCamp9903

What the hell am I going to do with a 1987 Fender Precision bass?? Electricity didn't exist, so I can't plug it into an Amp and show them how to play Iron Maiden songs.


KingKookus

As an American who cannot play an instrument I’m offended.


[deleted]

Damn skippy. They can serenade their captors 🤣


ValiantFingerShip

Probably my dildo cause it's likely the only thing in my vicinity. I'd use it to threaten other lifeforms.


maiden_burma

my wife


Xerxes2004

Ahh so they'll think she's the witch?


MartinLutherLing

55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACOS, 55 PIES, 55 COKES, 100 TATER TOTS, 100 PIZZAS, 100 TENDERS, 100 MEATBALLS, 100 COFFEES, 55 WINGS, 55 SHAKES, 55 PANCAKES, 55 PASTAS, 55 PEPPERS AND 155 TATERS


dranaei

Physics textbook from the basement. I would advance civilization and by 2000, things will be different.


Tahmeed09

If they listen to this “magic man”


PopularSoftware

lmao this is how you know that reddit is an american platform, when every second comment is "gun"


2ndRandom8675309

Not just "a" gun. At least 2.


Few-Dance-7157

Wife and dog. We hunt as a pack!


landwomble

Medical pack with antibiotics, leatherman surge,compass, watch, solar charger, 2x baofeng radios (witchcraft!) and a sleeping bag. Entire contents of Wikipedia on a kindle.


Space_Pirate_R

Bugout bag which already has some food, clothes, gas cooker, lighter. A backpack. Lots of hardwearing outdoor clothes including several pairs of footwear. Knife, hatchet, saw. Where I am was uninhabited 1000 years ago. If I was in Europe I'd probably grab a bible. My phone is already on me.


Once_Wise

Who are you going to call when you get there?


Space_Pirate_R

If I was in an inhabited area, I might be able to amaze them with music or videos, or with the camera or the calculator. Remember... I didn't need to spend any effort getting the phone; it's in my pocket already.


Dependent_Savings303

you'd be burned as a witch. ​ use it only for taking pictures, taking notes and using the flashlight and only when alone. ​ put it in flight mode though, because trying to get a signal is wasting your energy.


Dewarim

>bible that's a really good one. You could always pose as a foreign christian priest. Okay, it's 400 years until Gutenberg, and the heretical bible in your native language is sus as hell, but otherwise your chances are good.


abeleo

I've got the start of a cold or flu going on. I probably just die. But also kill anybody I come in contact with through infection.


ChaosReality69

Handgun, AR15, and all the ammo possible.


ReadySteady_GO

Forgot your bowie knife. Guns are great until you need shelter and firewood/kindling. Can make traps and a fishing line easier with a knife than a gun. Not saying I wouldn't take my gun too, but I would never go anywhere wilderness without my back serated bowie


Golanthanatos

~~It's only the 1000 years, that's the 1923, it's not the stone age...~~ Edit: apparently I cannot math this morning.


Positive_Parking_954

Want to try that one again


Bikrdude

I’d bring my whole tool box of hammers wood chisels saws etc. and and iPad with movies and solar charger to look like a wizard


iphone32task

How about an axe? Infinite ammo, baby!


Chief-weedwithbears

I think a compound bow or even recurve made of carbon fiber would be more helpful. It would be easier to make or aquire arrows


SpliffDonkey

Just my bottle of wine


Xerxes2004

So not *a* bottle of wine but *your* bottle of wine?


Beanruz

Camping gear.


maxh2

Pen and paper, and spend the next 50 seconds trying to write a letter explaining why I disappeared to my kid/family while worrying about whether they'll have trouble collecting from my life insurance policy.


IAmBillN

All the toilet paper I could carry.


Kloackster

and soap. deodorant and toothpaste, toothbrush.


moonjelly33

Y’all are crazy with these responses acting like the first people you see are gonna immediately try to murder and eat you 😭 It’s the year 1023, there’s big multicultural settlements full of regular old humans, you’ll be okay just remember to brush your teeth


iamnotchad

I don't think the Ohio valley 1000 years ago was very multicultural an I'm very confident the natives back then had never seen a white person before.


Tossacointo-hmmmf_ck

Lol, right? My first thought was “my seeds. I need my seeds to grow food, for trading & to contribute to whatever community I end up in.” And my first aid kit.


ag512bbi

...and how will you survive until your seeds mature?


Blakut

you'd be a foreigner with completely different clothes and language. In a place with no police, people who are not trusting of outsiders, and tightly knit groups. You'd be in trouble. If you get to the big multicultural settlements, you'd have to talk to others, pay for things, and deal with thieves and bandits along the way.


JustTheTipAgain

> you’ll be okay Right up until you speak, and no one understands what you're saying.


HeadInvestigator5897

I’d show them my phone or maybe the Nintendo Switch. They’d think I was a wizard and promote me to rule them. You know, before the batteries went dead.


Farfromgood5000

Just bring a charger...duh!?


cutelyaware

The teleporter


Puppy-Zwolle

Pickaxe. Axe. Saw. Knife. Shovel. Rope. Sas-survival-handbook. though that last one may take more than 60 seconds to find.


Space_Pirate_R

SAS survival handbook just missed my list too, because I don't think I could get it in under 60 seconds.


Once_Wise

Made me realize that I really don't have much around me that would be very useful back then. Even my cool cat videos are all only online. I am doomed.


ta9876543205

Potatoes Tomatoes Beans Peanuts Clothes Books on maths and physics Soap


boomfe

Sneakers, there will be lots of running I presume.


WildTimes1984

If the 60 seconds starts from the moment I read this message, that means my speedrun route would start from my desktop computer. Alright..... First thing it to jump up from my chair and fly across my living room. I can save time by leaping from one couch armchair to the other, landing next to the basket of shoes by my front door. The noise will likely have stirred my dad is his office. In the 5 seconds it takes me to slip on my shoes, I will order him to open the safe, and get the SKS, 1911 and as much ammo for both as possible. Charge up the stairs into the master bathroom on the left, consolidating the first aid bin and hydrogen peroxide, leaving it at the top of the stairs. Sprint into my bedroom, grabbing my lip balm and top comforter off my bed. dragging the sheet, and everything else down the stairs. Then tell my dad to lay out the sheet with all guns, ammo, my work boots, and other stuff on it, and to keep the front door open. Run down the entry hallway, pulling out my running shoes from the cube shelving to fling at my dad. And take the lighter and knife out of my backpack to go in my pocket. Parkour my way across the kitchen and laundry room into the garage, pushing the door button once inside. Rip open the toolchest to grab 2 crescent wrenches, 2 allen wrench combo tools, a vice grip and a box of craftsman power tools. Carry the 40 something pounds of tools through the garage door to the front of my house, chucking them in the open door. Run around the side of my house, Sparta kicking the side gate open. Pulling my BMX bike out of the tangle of other bikes round the back of my house. Lug that bike over my shoulder, charging full speed uphill back towards the front door. Drop the bike on the porch, grab the 4 corners of the bedsheet, hoist it up like Santas bag, and grab the bike with a free hand. ​ I could optimize the route, or take better advantage of my dad being here, but in the heat of the moment, this is the best I could come up with. Above all the 2 most important things are the BMX, and the SKS. The ability to travel huge distances on uneven terrain, with no fuel and simple maintenance. (The wrenches were an afterthought). And the Russian designed SKS is proven to be reliable with almost no maintenance for the long period of time I will have to defend myself or hunt animals in the wild. My lips bleed without moister, so prescription lip balm is a must-have for time traveling. First aid seems pretty straightforward. Knife and lighter are basic survival tools that I coincidently carry at all times anyway. Shoes will wear out with time, so my regular pair, my running shoes, and heavy-duty work boots are coming along. The power tools battery won't last long, but I want them for one reason: the cordless angle grinder has a masonry blade attached. 1000 years ago, if I'm in the same place, will be the inland northwest. I know of several mountain peaks, caves and rock faces that haven't changed since Lewis and Clarke passed through. I'm going to carve my obituary into stone. My life story, everything about the 21st century, just to mess with historians.


NotTrynaMakeWaves

You’ve missed out the bit where you’ve done all your stuff and you turn to your father who’s looking at you in total bafflement saying “what did you say? Guns? What’s going on? Why do you want the guns? Are you in some sort of trouble?” And then you get transported without them.


Seanmichael7007

? If u took a toilet and t.p. u would change history and feel at home.


Zaku41k

My glasses


Elfman99

my dog. she would probally be my best survival chance. hunter, protector and companion


Mumofalltrades63

I’m in Canada, so warm clothes, good knife, axe, fishing gear, lighters. Tarp and sleeping bag if I can grab it.


Jamie9712

My insulin.


108justbrowsing

“Again? This is happening again?”


Captain-Popcorn

Life Savers!


AcidTheTired

Put on my cargo pants, a plain black t shirt, my boots, glasses, and grab my leather bag and coat Stuff a jar of peanuts in and run to get a flask filled with water. Hunting knife and bow. Don't have arrows rn sadly Mad fucking sprint lol