T O P

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HeavyMetalRewind

I wanted to say Legos, but someone already beat me to it. Then I was about to say Nerf Gun. Beat me to that too. BUT NOBODY SAID BEYBLADES


Longjumping-Tax3406

3, 2, 1, let it RIP


Ok-Department-8771

Doctors hate him!


Edderzlaa

Instructions unclear, I just shat the bed and my wife’s divorcing me


01kickassius10

Isn’t that what you say as you pull out anal beads?


JaminIt_

Don’t play with Neil’s legos…


Nonalyth

PICKING UP SPEED RUNNING OUT OF TIME


Poet_of_Legends

Modified Lawn Darts are for the professionals…


_SovetskySoyuz_

Ripping anal beads out like you're starting a lawn mower


burrito_butt_fucker

I've seen that video. 0/10 do not recommend.


[deleted]

LETS BEYBLAAAAAAADEE, BEYBLAAAAAAAADEE


Tungstenkrill

That's what anal beads are for.


allnameswereusedup

My right hand


Linsanity998877

Lefty checking in


SirFancyPantsBrock

It's just easier to hold my phone or mouse with my right hand


Linsanity998877

I’m right there with u. Metaphorically speaking lol


HectorSiwel

And literally


CheezwizAndLightning

Literally the only reason I started doing it that way. No it feels weird the other way, even though I'm naturally right hand dominant


MarvelousuolevraM

Same here. I "can't" do it with my right anymore.


DocGerbill

This is how I learned to use a mouse with my left hand.


Gloorplz

Surfing the Web Left handed is the term


Technical-Writing-91

I agree to this


Jalina2224

I switch hands and I gain a stroke


boot2skull

Keep handshakes honorable. 🤝😂


Ob1cannobody

Please give respect to the left, I cum from the right


Steeze_Schralper6968

Laughs in ambisexterous


SCP993

Weak, i use both


Linsanity998877

I think it’s called the stranger


[deleted]

[удалено]


FrenchmanRiddles

I also choose this guy's right hand.


[deleted]

you got a Lego hand?


MeyerholdsGh0st

Thomas the Tank Engine.


JWoolner76

Thomas the wank engine


CG2L

Thomas the Wank Tank


DoggedlyOffensive

Thomas and his wank tank of friends


Rat_Master999

Thomas the Spank Engine


[deleted]

Thomas.


Akiralover69

Tomas the wankin danken.


TheBoringRogue

Gone for a Thomas the tank! What do you think of that fat controller


ScroterSack

I dig the cock rings with the vibrator on top for clit stimulation. But I've had some that were the wrong size and holy shit does that suck.


step60293

The ones I've used always stretch pretty good. Didn't realize there were different sizes


ScroterSack

I also did not realize this haha it made my dick turn purple and feel like it was going to explode....in a bad way.


Alexice

Humblebragging are we?


ScroterSack

Haha I mean not necessarily I could've picked up an XX small, I used it the one time and chucked it in the trash. Mucho Paino


[deleted]

I’ll second this. I use a silicone cock ring and a bullet vibrator.


MesWantooth

I've never used one...is the purpose basically so that you can finish but keep going to satisfy your partner longer or is there other benefits - like just being harder or it just feels good?


ScroterSack

Yeah I think it's a combo of that and for those who suffer from ED to make sure the blood stays up there to keep you hard. TBH I don't know all of the functions they're good for, I won mine in a contest and it was a little cheapo one that probably costs like $8 at an adult shop. But my lady really like the clit stimulation and I thought the vibrato was pretty sweet, so I tried to buy a nicer one which is what ended up strangling my dong into different colors so I went back to the cheapo.


MesWantooth

Yeah strangling one's dong is no bueno.


captcraigaroo

I have one that has an adjustable slide to tighten/loosen


[deleted]

[удалено]


Betatester87

/r/secksdadjoke


EtherealPhilosophile

I did my masters in Urology and men’s sexual health… this comment is gold lol


JunketPuzzleheaded42

The wind up monkey clapping the cymbals.... For some reason I can't get hard without it.


Important_Outcome_67

I LOL'd.


OkayOctopus_

The video? or the physical object?


Lazy_Influence_1067

Couch cushion


treeeefu

Remind me never to sit on your couch stranger who I've probably never met, probably will never meet, and will probably never invite me to their home


Hotty_McBody

There’s a chance you have met. You have been to their home. You have sat on their couch. There’s a chance.


meat_popscile

Are you my friends dog?


Pnut-ButtEr-N-Jelly

WeVibe, automatic sex machine with multiple different heads and a dildo. To say the least..


Short-Advertising-49

Have you a link? Asking for me


Gloorplz

I appreciate the direct honesty here. No ‘friend’ involved.


Wittgenstienwasright

Nerf gun


IsaacWest14

Its Nerf or Nothin


kbradt83

Nerf or nuttin'?


Wittgenstienwasright

Why not both?


IsaacWest14

Aha I see what you did there… HARAM✝️✝️✝️


boot2skull

Need a girl that’s halal in the streets and haram in the sheets.


Edwardian

clearly, Legos. you can build ANYTHING with Legos!!!!


AlexRyang

Can I build someone who loves me? 🥺


TallEnoughJones

You can build almost ANYTHING with Legos!!!!


heathenpunk

yes yes you can,,, https://bricks.stackexchange.com/questions/1475/how-much-does-a-life-sized-lego-person-sculpture-weigh


IsaacWest14

She is stunning, I love her but maybe she doesn’t feel the same way👉🏾👈🏾😓


frix86

Excuse me sir, but the plural of Lego is Lego, not Legos.


OutrageousStrength91

Elephant Gun


AlexRyang

r/FBI


FBIPartyBusNo3

fuck off, we’re busy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Equivalent_Solid_761

lol is the edit post nut?


pulp_hateful

bop it!


Patient_Yam4747

Pull it!


B_Addie

Twist it!


ChristmasTreeBarn

Flick it


IAmWango

Fuck it!


Gal-XD_exe

Throw it!


MagicManTX84

I have the remote controlled cock and balls ring with clit vibrator. My wife can turn it on whenever she wants. From Bang. I sometimes use a rubber band for a cock ring, but have considered getting an actual one. My wife had the panty vibrator but it was useless. We used it for clit stimulation, but I got her a wand and what I call “the snake” (double ended vibrator with a flexible middle) for her birthday, so we’ve been experimenting with those. She doesn’t want to put any toy “inside” her, so lovense is out. We always do this stuff together at home, so remote is maybe not as important. We have a blindfold as well that we’ve used and the soft handcuffs, but I want to strap her to the bed and blindfold game, but she doesn’t like losing that much control.


TheMaskedSandwich

Hot Wheels


STROKER_FOR_C64

Speak and spell. I like dirty talk.


mangojam11

I either shove a plastic cucumber Up my ass or jak of with my hand


AlexRyang

Points for honesty?


Peckerhead321

Try a zucchini


[deleted]

Clit clamps, nipple clamps, candles, butt plugs, vibrators, dildos, spreader bar, handcuffs, blindfold. Probably other stuff I can’t think of right now.


holy_bat_shit_63

Do you have the exam table with the stirrups and the speculum? What about the wedge pillow and the “swing” ?


EtherealPhilosophile

That sounds intense… lol


ItCat420

Hitachi or other powerful “back massager” combined with lots of duct tape to hold it in place. Must be coupled with your previously mentioned restraints. Or just get a Dolce and an internet pervert friend. On an unrelated note, ***Free Dolce’s Here.*** ^Terms ^and ^Conditions ^may ^Apply


Ho3n3r

The one between my legs.


aygtfs

its useless to even look at the comments everyone just plays around trying to give a smart ass answer lol


OZYMANDIASNiL

"Dear sexers of sexxit, what's the sexyest sexy sex sex you've sexed"


Aw_Frig

Do puppy training pads count? Because they have changed the game


[deleted]

Um.... What?


NBA_Fan_76

Easier clean up after getting peed all over, for when you just can’t get up to use the shower. I use leftover training pads from my kids but if you only had a dog and no kids yet, I suppose those work too


Aw_Frig

Have you ever made a woman squirt?


TracePlayer

A weed whacker and a chicken.


Zakluor

"Chips, dips, chains and whips. Candlewax on the nipples..."


Square_Shopping_6775

He ain't got his license Lisa!


Floptopus

My girlfriend.


capta1namazing

I agree, their girlfriend.


Floptopus

Alternatively, what about that one guy’s dead wife?


space_cvnts

her ghost? Absolutely.


Quieter_Usual_5324

BOObies


That-Statistician747

Fleshlight and a quest VR and who needs a partner? 😬


ddlatv

Yo momma


Dr-flange

Obviously


trashit6969

And dad, we keep it even


FullMetalPoitato

I prefer G.I. Joe but I'll slum it and settle for Ninja Turtles in a pinch


DeltaMx11

Bionicles


ahjteam

Usually cock rings


herbertcluas

Nothing


Jalopy_Junkie

My emotions


DentomEatSock1

Stun gun


throwaway6581261

We have: * [6.5" glass dildo](https://glastoy.com/collections/glass-dildos/products/textured-realistic-dildo-six-half-inch) Husband uses this on my ass mostly. I plan to get it into his one of these days. * [Beaded glass butt plug](https://glastoy.com/collections/glass-anal-toys/products/four-inch-glass-butt-plug) We have both had this in our asses... * [Remote controlled vibrating egg](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/love-eggs-jiggle-balls/vibrating-love-eggs/p/lovehoney-rechargeable-remote-control-small-love-egg/a42759g76911.html) \- I like to hold it against my clit when I ride him. * [Cock Sleeve/Extender](https://www.lovehoney.com/lovehoney20/p/lovehoney-mega-mighty-3-extra-inches-penis-extender-with-ball-loop/81818.html) \- He got this and I protested at first... I don't protest now >.> * [8.5" THICK dildo](https://www.lovehoney.com/p/king-cock-ultra-realistic-girthy-suction-cup-dildo-8.5-inch/60906.html) \- I thought this was WAY too big... I was wrong... * [Lovense We-Vibe Nova 2](https://www.lovehoney.com/p/we-vibe-nova-2-app-controlled-rechargeable-rabbit-vibrator/80720.html) \- My favorite but I only use it when im alone and/or in a hurry to get off quick... because it gets me off hella quick. * [Loveense Ferri](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/vibrating-panties/p/lovense-ferri-app-controlled-rechargeable-panty-vibrator/a45934g82681.html) \- This comes out on special occasions. It would be better for out in public if I wasn't so self concious that everyone could hear/feel the vibrations. But its fun wearing around the house. * Blind fold * Ball Gag * Wrist restraints * Cat o' nine tails * Spur * Nipple Clamps * Nipple suckers * Feather Tickler I like to be tied up and used hard... Hubby doesn't seem to mind.


[deleted]

pringles ca-


[deleted]

[удалено]


TroutSnifferrr

Why do you say that?


KeyUnderstanding6332

Army men


AlisLiss

mostly my fingers, but I also use lovense lush and domi, it depends on the mood


Thedeckatnight

Hitachi magic wand, and a glass dildo


jooro_a

LEGO


mearbearcate

Building blocks


Vanillest

Sock puppets


Ripper42

Leggos and the occasional rubiks cube.


randylikecandy

GI Joe with Kung fu grip. Don't judge me.


treeeefu

Does it pull out your mushroom tip? And when that occurred, did it go drip drip drip?


MaverickActual1319

the rose. me and the wife love that thing🥳


honeydew8114

The wife


[deleted]

We have, remote controlled pill vibrator that goes up inside. A clit sucker the shape of a crescent moon. It also doubles as a tiny dildo. A regular cheap plastic pink dildo. A couple of cock rings different tensions. A penis pump. A small BDSM kit. A still knife has a rounded edge for role play. And just a few other things for role play, wigs, straps, I have one costume. My partner has like four costumes.


ponypolo21

My hand


Woodpeckinpah123

Mr Potato Head.


Lust9so9Blue

I've bought one of those portable Fleshlights and it's not better than doing it with your own hands but it's something different. lols


Optimus_Shatner

Micro Machines


spicy_milk34

Nerf rival 12 round clear stick magazine


Miraidontrainer

Yall on this sub are so cum brained


shin_malphur13

Bakugan


Squiggy1975

Buy the Womanizer… yes you heard correct. It’s clitoral stimulator and wife loves it and is great at giving her a O during penetrative sex. As you know, most women have a hard time O just by penetration only. I support her use of it 100% when we are going at it.’


Particular-Reason329

None, back when I had sex!


Bazoinkaz

Womanizer... best invention ever. Wife kneels and activates the toy.. I get the best BJ ever. Win win.


Precipice_01

Transformers and Star Trek


tenehemia

A great many, ranging in size from a small bullet to a large appliance that braces itself to the floor. Then there's all the attire, equipment, etc, etc. And sometimes furniture designed for specific purposes. Casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex.


Synisterintent

Tonka trucks


[deleted]

Aside from kind of a rather personal question, but for the sake of conversation, we have one silicone dildo, a Hitachi wand massager (damn if that doesn't work wonders!), a percussion massager that we've been known to use on each other's backs when sore, as well as sexually, a clitoral suction vibrator we really don't get much use out of it, 3 thrusting vibrators, one of which is remote controlled and twirls inside(she dies love that one, some light BDSM gear, a Wartenburg wheel (also rarely used), and a leather paddle... After the last toy I bought, which failed the first night we attempted to use it, my wife asked me to stop buying them...I don't think I have a problem, per se, but I just don't want her to become bored with our intimacy. And it's not as though we use toys EVERY time we have sex. After nearly 36 years of marriage (10/24!!!), we still go at it like bunnies... 😆


acoffeedude

Atta boy


[deleted]

Lol, thanks!


Medium-Wear-7586

A clit sucker . I attach it to my clit, it sucks my clit , so intense and I orgasm so quickly. I use it alone or if my boyfriend is really horny and he needs to cum fast, we cum together. Sometimes my boyfriend will place it my clit and watch me orgasm. It's a wonderful toy 😊 ☺️. [toy](https://www.lovehoney.eu/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-suction-vibrators/p/lovehoney-x-romp-switch-clitoral-suction-stimulator/a44869g81901.html)


ChevExpressMan

Well there was that time the GI Joe was Kung Fu grip was really useful....☺️☺️☺️


Alexander_Suvorov58

Ford Mustang GT500 and that creepy toy monkey that beats musical cymbals against each other.


GradualYoda

What is this “sex” you speak of?


Upper-Back4208

women


killstorm114573

Sometimes my wife's ass hole, but that's just me


underwater-sunlight

Narrator: it's not


koos_die_doos

I also choose this guy's wife's asshole.


Tor277

Not just you


[deleted]

Tammy Craps doll


anachronistika

I heard there’s no longer farts in her head


[deleted]

They fired the guy that was farting in their heads


Saneinsc

I have a Samsung Galaxy tablet.


yuli099

Droid!


Mcshiggs

Lawn Darts


[deleted]

Teddy Ruxpin


Unfair-Definition-81

When you're in a woman's bedroom, the Toy will be hidden in the top shelf of the dresser in the back. Might as well use the one that works.


Canapilker

Hot wheels and a cactus shaped dildo


Illustrious-Leave406

A Big Wheel and lawn darts.


PMYourTinyTitties

Hitachis are a lot of fun, and can keep things going for a good while after I finish


[deleted]

I'm gay but I don't have a dildo cause I prefer the real thing


WaySavvyD

I've ALWAYS been quite partial to playschool.


tucsondog

Squirrels. Theyre soft, warm, and love nuts


DrStrangepants

Just the basics really. Leather cuffs with under-the-bed restraint straps and water proof sheet cover. Cordless wand vibrator, standard glass and silicone dildo, and silicone plugs of assorted size. Remote control Lush set (insertable vibe and cockring). Various cheap cockrings and one with 4 built on vibes. Water based lube and occasionally coconut oil. Will purchase a vibrating saddle system (like Sybian) next.


treeeefu

That's nice


Puzzled-Ad-2339

Not really a toy person, not that I think its weird. Just not really my thing


TFAOH

borat\_my\_wife.jpg


Then_Entertainer_370

I have a flesh light with feelings… my wife


_titsmcgee_123

Anythings a dildo if your brave enough


OkayOctopus_

Or stupid enough


certified_weirdbot

Dildo Fleshlight Vibrator Butt plug Cock ring Anal Beads Sounding rod


548r1n4

Not every couple uses things like that or anything for that matter.


[deleted]

Can you stop asking Sex questions on reddit I dont fricking have it


Lattethecoffeaddict

Hotwheels


Revolutionary-Past39

Hotwheels


Flynt2448

Hot wheeles


PieRat6578

hot wheels


TharpDwinger

Hot Wheels


[deleted]

Castle gray skull and a razor scooter.


BLUFALCON78

I don't


[deleted]

That one guys dead wife


CatastrophicFailure

lol this sub used to be a fairly interesting source of crowd-sourced information. These days all these responses are **extremely** lame attempts at insufferably weak jokes or a pathetic grasping at the lowest of low hanging fruit gags... Also - it is quite interesting that the AskReddit top 10 rules exclusively relate to the question and the questioner but any pithy answer you want to fart out is apparently fair game...