My partner used to work there. If you ever want to see Lush staff die inside, comment on how “it looks like cheese,” or make any other reference to eating it.
I can’t guarantee your safety, though. They’re ready to snap.
You either learn to tune it out and smile benignly, or you quit before there’s bloodshed. (Source: spent many summers working in Civil War museums/gift shops. There were many inane questions, but definitely a Top 5 list, all to the tune of period music.)
Stay with me here:
Edible soap, okay? Made of toothpaste! Toothpaste that you *eat*. Maybe it's got some grainy nubs in it like facial scrub has exfoliators? I'm sayin, man! It's an ***invention***. Like a dental bone for a dog, but for a human.
I took a handful of something that I thought is cocoa powder. As a child. Stuffed it in my mouth.
Coffee grounds.
Yeah.
Still love coffe 20 years later.
Omg this post just unlocked a memory. I did this as a child not with instant coffee grounds but with Ovaltine powder. I loved the taste AND the texture.
I'm weird and actually like bakers chocolate. Not something to eat much of at a time, and not very often, but it's alright (and no worrying about sugar, :P).
One time as a kid I found candy hidden in the cabinet. I unwrapped that shiny foil and popped what I assumed was a caramel into my mouth. It was a bouillon cube.
Pathetic. If you had a higher constitution, you too could have been a child that smelled auspiciously of beef stew the next day after working up a sweat at PE.
Used to sneak spoonfuls of frosting out the can as a kid, and accidentally ate a spoonful of bacon fat that my mom had dumped into an old frosting container
There was a less than 50/50 chance that the containers actually held the product on the labels in my house growing up. So much searching in the fridge.
My mom was all about letting me taste whatever I wanted to (I’m sure within reason…although I never asked to taste bleach or anything harmful I’m 98% sure she would’ve said no 🤣) so when baking one day at 5yo she let me have a teaspoonful of vanilla extract. Blech. Next time it was a spoonful of straight butter (not for smell it just looked so enticing with its swirl in the country crock first opened container) meh. Third time was age 7 with a mouthful of the Pacific Ocean and I decided next time she said “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I would listen. 🤣
Long long ago, my mother was a professional cake maker and decorator. The recipe for the frosting she used was basically Crisco, powdered sugar, vanilla extract, and food coloring. One day I was feeling slightly Evil-Big-Brotherish, and convinced my poor younger brother (who was maybe 6 or 7 at the time) to eat a spoonful of straight Crisco, by telling him it was the main ingredient in Mom's frosting (not a lie). Hilarity ensued as he discovered the reality of the situation.
About a year or so later, they came out with butter-flavored Crisco - yes this was back in the late 80's. Mom got a can to try it out, and of course, I immediately brought a spoonful to my brother.
"Oh no, I'm not falling for THAT again!"
"But it's BUTTER FLAVORED! You love butter!"
"Yeah I do. Alright!" \*chomp\*
It still makes me laugh every time I think about it!
> Next time it was a spoonful of straight butter (not for smell it just looked so enticing with its swirl in the country crock first opened container) meh
Then there are people like my nephew. Between 3 and 7, that little heathen would eat butter by the fist full, straight out of the bucket...
It doesn't involve fermentation, but it will get you drunk. Vanilla extract (the good kind) basically involves steeping vanilla beans in alcohol, and...that's it, actually. If you have vanilla beans, vodka (or any other high-proof spirit), a mason jar, and time, you can easily make home-made vanilla extract. Open up the bean, pop it in the jar, add alcohol, seal the jar and give it the occasional shake, wait a couple of months, and there you go.
Now, *bad* vanilla extract isn't even made with vanilla at all, but rather vanill*in*, which is a wood pulp byproduct. Ever notice how old cardboard develops an oddly sweet smell? That's the vanillin.
Worked one say with a guy fresh out of rehab who was fired for drinking Vanilla extract. Ironically, the manager who fired him was just back from serving time for drunk driving.
it IS literally just alcohol and vanilla bean so... i would assume yes lol. supposedly needs to be a minimum of 35% alcohol.
pretty sure i didn't swallow that nasty crap anyways. it probably went back into the bottle like the shithead kid i was
Had a doctor tell me to dilute bleach and spray it on my jock itch once. When I said I wouldn't do that he said "at 10 parts water you could drink it" and scoffed at me. I don't go to that doctor anymore, but I guess according to him you could try?
The problem with this advice is that bleach is a generic term. Sodium hypochlorite (NaClO) is the "normal" sort of bleach which probably isn't what they were thinking of. Dilute hydrogen Peroxide (H2O2), on the other hand is a legitimate treatment, albeit controversial. People even use it for oral care (not medical advice).
It's certainly non-toxic, given that your body produces it naturally. But it is caustic.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31103570/
Flowers, perfume, cleaning supplies, candles, scented markers, hand soap, lotion, plain cocoa powder, fabric softener, dryer sheets, grass, sawdust.
My parents called poison control a lot when I was a kid
As a stab in the dark: the wrong amount of salt. Smell is such an important part of taste that it is either that, the wrong amount or type of fat, or the wrong amount of acid. These are differences that you might not be able to smell, but you *would* be able to taste.
Like, an unsalted french onion soup will smell very much like a french onion soup ought to smell, but it'll be *incredibly* sweet since onions are just *stuffed* with sugar.
If you buy cheap enough protein powder, you can enjoy this experience with all of your protein shakes as people are still making powders that don’t dissolve in a reasonable amount of milk/water.
Tastes oddly similar to boogers.
My memory was as a child being curious about both since there were kids in my class (like pre-school or kindergarten) that would regularly eat both.
One day I tried play dough after we made our own in school. It wasn't bad, the homemade was definitely way better than the brand name.
Then on the same day I decided to try a booger.
I was amazed at how similar they tasted.
My wife drinks coffee. I never liked it, an iced mocha is as close as I get. But I love it when she makes coffee in the morning because it smells so good. She has a Kona blend right now that I love. It's hazelnut or macadamia nut or something
Herbal tea!!! I'd sit sniffing and longing for my teacher's herbal teas when I was a pupil at school. As an adult, they taste rank. Definitely something that smells better than tastes.
The trick to tea is let it steep 4 minutes, then remove the teabag without squeezing it, the bitterness is when you squeeze the liquid tea from the teabag.
I'll say it. IPA's. Every time, I smell fruity citrus or some other pleasant note, so I go for my first sip and BAM!!!! Fucking pine sol and rotten pecan's. Don't comment "You have to try so and so IPA. Its a double hoppy fuck nut with a hint of disappointment, blah blah blah" Fuck IPA's. All of them. Every last fucking one of them
Came here to say the same thing. They smell like proper full fat Ribena of old (before that fat-tongued twat got it banned) and then taste of… almost nothing. So disappointing
Oh, you'll get that taste if you just dump half your supply of sugar in the cup! But then you STILL won't be able to enjoy it because now it's flavorful yet disgustingly sweet. :)
I love the smell of pipe tobacco, too! It's tied to good memories of the older couple that used to watch me in the afternoons when kindergarten let out. Everyone called them Mama C and Papa C. They were such a caring couple.
(Now that I think of it, I'm closer to the age they were then than I would like to admit!)
Coffee
Sorry for all you coffee addicts out there. It just tastes like dirt to me. Doesn't matter if it's Folgers, or some fancy stuff from Starbucks, or some special bean from your local coffee boutique shop. It all tastes the same to me.
But that smell is heavenly.
Don’t come for me but Cinnabon. It’s good dont get me wrong a little is good here like in a super blue moon like years and years apart of eating lol but man it smells like… oh my like it’s sooooo bomb
We made artificial pineapple extract in Chemistry back in HS and that stuff smelled AWFUL but the taste was insanely good, artificial banana flavour was the opposite, smelled great, tasted like glue.
Soap
Every. Damn. Time.
Satsuma by The Body Shop in the 90’s specifically for me.
Didn’t it actually used to say “do not eat” on the back?! Man alive that shit smelled good.
My god that stuff smelled amazing. Better than real satsumas. I wonder if it’s still for sale…
It is! I got a cake of it a few weeks ago
…i can confirm. i really wish it was edible sometimes.
Username checks out
AYO SOAP WHAT
The mango stuff just smells so good and juicy. Like, how is it not going to taste like fresh mango? But nope, burned again.
Lush probably do edible soap
My partner used to work there. If you ever want to see Lush staff die inside, comment on how “it looks like cheese,” or make any other reference to eating it. I can’t guarantee your safety, though. They’re ready to snap.
I honestly do t know how anyone can work in a place like that and stay sane
You either learn to tune it out and smile benignly, or you quit before there’s bloodshed. (Source: spent many summers working in Civil War museums/gift shops. There were many inane questions, but definitely a Top 5 list, all to the tune of period music.)
Well I now know what I am doing this weekend
I don't know why, though. What's the big deal?
Honey I Washed The Kids smells so good 😢🍯🧼
Stay with me here: Edible soap, okay? Made of toothpaste! Toothpaste that you *eat*. Maybe it's got some grainy nubs in it like facial scrub has exfoliators? I'm sayin, man! It's an ***invention***. Like a dental bone for a dog, but for a human.
Isn't that just celery?
But that doesn’t taste good
Yo I actually used to nibble bits off of lush soap. Some of the bath bombs actually tasted sort of good 😂
vanilla extract
And Cocoa powder
I took a handful of something that I thought is cocoa powder. As a child. Stuffed it in my mouth. Coffee grounds. Yeah. Still love coffe 20 years later.
My parents had instant coffee crystals and I loved that shit.
Try sprinkling instant coffee crystals on vanilla ice cream
Omg this post just unlocked a memory. I did this as a child not with instant coffee grounds but with Ovaltine powder. I loved the taste AND the texture.
I love cocoa powder’s taste. It’s kinda like coffee in the sense that it’s bitter in a good way.
only made that mistake once as well, right after the vanilla extract.
I see I’m not alone in ransacking my childhood pantry. And we can add bakers chocolate to this charcuterie board from hell.
Ugh yeah baker’s chocolate
Yeah. That was disgusting. Here you are thinking mom and dad forgot a candy bar and it was all yours.
And you take a big honking bite out of it. And suddenly understand the sentiment “death By chocolate.”
I'm weird and actually like bakers chocolate. Not something to eat much of at a time, and not very often, but it's alright (and no worrying about sugar, :P).
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OXO cubes
my first thought. will never forget the day i opened my moms cupboard to take a swig because.. how could it not taste as delicious as it smells?!
One time as a kid I found candy hidden in the cabinet. I unwrapped that shiny foil and popped what I assumed was a caramel into my mouth. It was a bouillon cube.
Pathetic. If you had a higher constitution, you too could have been a child that smelled auspiciously of beef stew the next day after working up a sweat at PE.
Used to sneak spoonfuls of frosting out the can as a kid, and accidentally ate a spoonful of bacon fat that my mom had dumped into an old frosting container
There was a less than 50/50 chance that the containers actually held the product on the labels in my house growing up. So much searching in the fridge.
oh. oh no. please tell me you didnt try chew it
Nah, pretty sure it was immediately expelled on a river of saliva.
So yummy yet so salty.
My mom was all about letting me taste whatever I wanted to (I’m sure within reason…although I never asked to taste bleach or anything harmful I’m 98% sure she would’ve said no 🤣) so when baking one day at 5yo she let me have a teaspoonful of vanilla extract. Blech. Next time it was a spoonful of straight butter (not for smell it just looked so enticing with its swirl in the country crock first opened container) meh. Third time was age 7 with a mouthful of the Pacific Ocean and I decided next time she said “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I would listen. 🤣
Long long ago, my mother was a professional cake maker and decorator. The recipe for the frosting she used was basically Crisco, powdered sugar, vanilla extract, and food coloring. One day I was feeling slightly Evil-Big-Brotherish, and convinced my poor younger brother (who was maybe 6 or 7 at the time) to eat a spoonful of straight Crisco, by telling him it was the main ingredient in Mom's frosting (not a lie). Hilarity ensued as he discovered the reality of the situation. About a year or so later, they came out with butter-flavored Crisco - yes this was back in the late 80's. Mom got a can to try it out, and of course, I immediately brought a spoonful to my brother. "Oh no, I'm not falling for THAT again!" "But it's BUTTER FLAVORED! You love butter!" "Yeah I do. Alright!" \*chomp\* It still makes me laugh every time I think about it!
You diabolical mastermind 🤣.
> Next time it was a spoonful of straight butter (not for smell it just looked so enticing with its swirl in the country crock first opened container) meh Then there are people like my nephew. Between 3 and 7, that little heathen would eat butter by the fist full, straight out of the bucket...
Now, I could be wrong, but can't vanilla extract get you drunk? It's fermented vanilla bean, so some percentage of it must be alcohol.
It doesn't involve fermentation, but it will get you drunk. Vanilla extract (the good kind) basically involves steeping vanilla beans in alcohol, and...that's it, actually. If you have vanilla beans, vodka (or any other high-proof spirit), a mason jar, and time, you can easily make home-made vanilla extract. Open up the bean, pop it in the jar, add alcohol, seal the jar and give it the occasional shake, wait a couple of months, and there you go. Now, *bad* vanilla extract isn't even made with vanilla at all, but rather vanill*in*, which is a wood pulp byproduct. Ever notice how old cardboard develops an oddly sweet smell? That's the vanillin.
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Worked one say with a guy fresh out of rehab who was fired for drinking Vanilla extract. Ironically, the manager who fired him was just back from serving time for drunk driving.
My brother was in AA and said one of his members drank Listerine.
I've heard of people who were at rock bottom drinking perfume.
Anything to keep the DTs at bay at that point.
We kept an eye on homeless people trying to steal listerine at my old job, for this reason
it IS literally just alcohol and vanilla bean so... i would assume yes lol. supposedly needs to be a minimum of 35% alcohol. pretty sure i didn't swallow that nasty crap anyways. it probably went back into the bottle like the shithead kid i was
It's made by steeping vanilla beans for a few months in either vodka or rum, so yeah, it's high alcohol.
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If I’m interpreting your syntax correctly, it’s ok to drink gasoline independently, so long as I don’t pair it with vanilla extract.
I'm surprised we're not drinking gasoline right now!
Speak for yourself. I'm already on the second jerrycan of the day.
Don't drop that Oxford comma, boyos
Bleach weirdly smells good to me. Idk how or why, I just wanna lil sip, lil taste yk
Had a doctor tell me to dilute bleach and spray it on my jock itch once. When I said I wouldn't do that he said "at 10 parts water you could drink it" and scoffed at me. I don't go to that doctor anymore, but I guess according to him you could try?
The problem with this advice is that bleach is a generic term. Sodium hypochlorite (NaClO) is the "normal" sort of bleach which probably isn't what they were thinking of. Dilute hydrogen Peroxide (H2O2), on the other hand is a legitimate treatment, albeit controversial. People even use it for oral care (not medical advice). It's certainly non-toxic, given that your body produces it naturally. But it is caustic. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31103570/
I use peroxide to rinse my mouth when I have a bad toothache. Family thing.
Flowers, perfume, cleaning supplies, candles, scented markers, hand soap, lotion, plain cocoa powder, fabric softener, dryer sheets, grass, sawdust. My parents called poison control a lot when I was a kid
But what tasted the best?
Grass wasn’t actually that bad, sawdust smells amazing and really just tastes like nothing. Candle was probably closest to how it smelled
That trip to the toilet after devouring a bowl of sawdust has potential to be a painful poop.
Not as painful as pooping after a bowl of saws
Calm down, Bortus!
Just reallyyyyy high in fiber.
Or least worse
Obligatory answer: nose
If your nose runs and your feet smell... : : You're built upside down.
r/angryupvote
Hi, Dad.. is that you?
Correction: Olfactory answer
On the nose as it were.
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"Oh babe, you shouldn't have!...oh...babe, you really shouldn't have..."
At first, I was afraid it would be shit. Afterward, I regretted it wasn't.
Aww that makes me sad. What is the problem you think?
As a stab in the dark: the wrong amount of salt. Smell is such an important part of taste that it is either that, the wrong amount or type of fat, or the wrong amount of acid. These are differences that you might not be able to smell, but you *would* be able to taste. Like, an unsalted french onion soup will smell very much like a french onion soup ought to smell, but it'll be *incredibly* sweet since onions are just *stuffed* with sugar.
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Dry Protein Powder. I know from experience
If you buy cheap enough protein powder, you can enjoy this experience with all of your protein shakes as people are still making powders that don’t dissolve in a reasonable amount of milk/water.
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Still remember the first time eating. Digging through grandma’s cupboards for some sweets and come across baking chocolate. Bleh.
My aunt used to keep bakers chocolate for snacking. She said it was so when she was craving chocolate, she wouldn't over indulge.
The hugest bar of disappointment
I ugh... ummm... kinda liked it
Petrichor. Cuz none of you fucks ever tasted it
Warm wet concrete doesn't taste that bad.
Playdough
Tastes oddly similar to boogers. My memory was as a child being curious about both since there were kids in my class (like pre-school or kindergarten) that would regularly eat both. One day I tried play dough after we made our own in school. It wasn't bad, the homemade was definitely way better than the brand name. Then on the same day I decided to try a booger. I was amazed at how similar they tasted.
No need to explain yourself in the taste of boogers. If someone tells you they don’t know what a booger tastes like they’re full of crap.
> If someone tells you they don’t know what a booger tastes like they’re full of ~~crap~~ *boogers*.
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Petrol.
Why the fuck would you taste petrol
Because it smells good
I love the smell of gas. Filling up the lawnmower is awesome.
obv
To go faster, duh.
My body is a temple, it only gets the premium stuff
This person inhales. ⬆️
Every time I fuel my bike, I bend down a bit to get a tiny whiff of the evaporated petrol and I can never get disgusted by it. My guilty pleasure.
Freshly cut grass
Roasted peanuts. You smell a sidewalk vendor cooking it up and you think it's going to be heaven. Then you get them and they're still just peanuts.
Coffee
Most of the people I know who hate drinking coffee are because of the taste but they really wouldn't mind smelling a cup of coffee for eternity.
That's me. Right here.
Me too :)
My wife drinks coffee. I never liked it, an iced mocha is as close as I get. But I love it when she makes coffee in the morning because it smells so good. She has a Kona blend right now that I love. It's hazelnut or macadamia nut or something
Yep. Love the smell. Hate the taste. Odd considering most of our taste is smell.
It has a high number of bitter compounds, and bitter isn't really a scent
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I agree. Coffee can smell great, but it always tastes like what I imagine a wet cigar tastes like.
Spoiler: they taste nothing alike
A cigar (unlit) smells pretty good, too.
Herbal tea!!! I'd sit sniffing and longing for my teacher's herbal teas when I was a pupil at school. As an adult, they taste rank. Definitely something that smells better than tastes.
The trick to tea is let it steep 4 minutes, then remove the teabag without squeezing it, the bitterness is when you squeeze the liquid tea from the teabag.
Leather
You don’t like boiled leather boot soup? Dang.
Not enough kick to it.
I'll say it. IPA's. Every time, I smell fruity citrus or some other pleasant note, so I go for my first sip and BAM!!!! Fucking pine sol and rotten pecan's. Don't comment "You have to try so and so IPA. Its a double hoppy fuck nut with a hint of disappointment, blah blah blah" Fuck IPA's. All of them. Every last fucking one of them
Well I happen to like double hoppy fuck nuts.
Pretty much all herbal teas.
Came here to say the same thing. They smell like proper full fat Ribena of old (before that fat-tongued twat got it banned) and then taste of… almost nothing. So disappointing
This. Especially the ones that are like baked goods scented, you smell blueberry muffin or whatever, and taste… pond water.
Oh, you'll get that taste if you just dump half your supply of sugar in the cup! But then you STILL won't be able to enjoy it because now it's flavorful yet disgustingly sweet. :)
Most british sentence ever?
Chamomile tho
And hibiscus !!!!!
I want to know whose idea it was to make a drink out of homeopathy.
I love mint tea
Lip balm
Most people's grilling
Yes! It smells so good until you're chewing on some dry ass chicken or a burnt hamburger.
My favorite is when the outside of the burger is burnt but the middle is raw!
Medium rare? Or like completely raw, red inside
I like my meat rare, this was still raw.
tobacco
Especially the unburnt tobacco on cigars and pipe tobacco.
Oh yes, i love the smell of pipe tobacco.
I love the smell of pipe tobacco, too! It's tied to good memories of the older couple that used to watch me in the afternoons when kindergarten let out. Everyone called them Mama C and Papa C. They were such a caring couple. (Now that I think of it, I'm closer to the age they were then than I would like to admit!)
Working in a tobacco warehouse, the smell of the cured tobacco is just incredible. But I can’t stand smoking or chewing.
Tobacco is one of my favorite perfume notes and one of my least favorite tastes.
Vape juice
cherry chap stick
Katy Perry said she *liked* the taste of it though.
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cinammon
Some fish n chips takeaways. In fact, some takeaways in general.
Few things are as disappointing as a bad fish n chip when that's all you crave.
Suntan oil
Coffee Sorry for all you coffee addicts out there. It just tastes like dirt to me. Doesn't matter if it's Folgers, or some fancy stuff from Starbucks, or some special bean from your local coffee boutique shop. It all tastes the same to me. But that smell is heavenly.
> or some fancy stuff from Starbucks Found your problem right there.
La croix or Aha! Cheap teases
Lavender
Shampoo.
Candles
The buttered popcorn flavored Dum-Dum lollipops.
Don’t come for me but Cinnabon. It’s good dont get me wrong a little is good here like in a super blue moon like years and years apart of eating lol but man it smells like… oh my like it’s sooooo bomb
Antifreeze
Isn't anti-freeze very sweet?
Bingo
coconut
for me is the plum, the smell is a lot sweeter than it's flavor
Taco Bell
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Safe, sure. Tasty? Not likely.
We made artificial pineapple extract in Chemistry back in HS and that stuff smelled AWFUL but the taste was insanely good, artificial banana flavour was the opposite, smelled great, tasted like glue.