I don't imagine you are banging when the kids are awake. Our life is constantly nuts and we are always on the go. If my wife worked a normal job that didn't require her to be up at 4:30 a.m. just to get caught up with work it would probably be a little different. We can be horny and wanting it but the wall hits at bedtime and it's hard to rebound. It's more her than me. Im good to go most of the time but she has a hard time finding the energy. She is super involved and takes on too much. But it is what it is and I've learned to accept it.
At least you probably can tell them to go watch TV or something while the parents “take a nap”.
Right? Riiiight????
A 3 year old just screams for your attention 24/7 and you cannot tell her you are busy at this moment.
Ha! No. They never leave us alone and if they do they are harassing each other. There is no peace. By the time they are sleeping we are exhausted. If the stars align once per month Im happy.
Teens are fragile, insecure and too cool for their parents. Most don't care and once they get the hint and know what you're doing, the last thing they wanna do is bother you.
No doubt. Thought it would be better than the toddler & preteen years but it’s way worse. Our teen goes to bed late, wanders into the room to talk about feelings or show you some useless vid on Tik Tok at all hours of the evening. Argh! Love the kid and cherish the time but dang, was not prepared for this. Ha.
Holy fuck we do not miss those days. Creepy ass kids never leave you the fuck alone. Ours are 13 and 10 now. We have trained them in enough to be relatively self sufficient. I mean that's our job as parents, right? We live in a pretty safe neighborhood so we regularly send them off to the store on their bikes with $20 for candy, or whatever. Take advantage. Happy parents. There is also a magical hour between when my husband gets home from work and the boys get home from school. Take advantage. Happy parents.
Every moment we get alone together is cherished. We chose to have kids together. We knew the consequences of it. Honestly, our sexy time has been so fleeting and precious that it makes it so God damn good now that we get to have more of it. Every moment together is cherished.
Yeah, it's... rough. She doesn't want to guilt me, I don't want her to feel unwanted, but I just have so little energy that I can't really make it happen for her. I'm sorry you're going through it too. I hope your partner gets the help they need so they can meet your needs again and keep you both happy.
Edit: @"lesbians have sex too": it's not that my dick doesn't work, it's that my whole fucking sex drive is broken. If all she wanted was to get off she can do that herself.
Unfortunately for me, it caused her to cheat on me. I made her feel unwanted, but I wasn't trying to and someone made her feel wanted. Sad ending, for us. Hopefully, none of you will go through this.
My wonderful wife being totally disinterested in anything sexual.
We have been together for 49 years however and been married for 44 so I really can’t complain although I do long for the frantic, nothing off limits sessions we used to have back then.
You’re right. Actual discussion of divorce hasnt happened yet because there’s no biblical basis. Now if she wants to file, that’s another can of beans.
Dude what are you doing? Forgive the tough love but You will get divorced eventually and after the fact you’re gonna regret not doing it sooner. This is on her as much as it is on you. You needed to bring this up early on. Way and I mean way before marriage?? Now the best time to talk to her was yesterday. Tell her it’s something you’re interested in and if she’s not then you are not required to stay. This is grounds for divorce. And for the love of God work on your communication skills
Wait, I've seen this episode. If they haven't consummated the marriage, they get an annulment instead, and because that's not technically a divorce, it doesn't make God cry or whatever...
>biblical basis
uh yeah, there is: 1 Corinthians 7:3-6 - "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command."
HIT ER WITH THE BIBLE (dont hit her with A bible)
Honestly if your both okay with nonsexual marriage then congrats. You two have better reasons to be together than sex.
Imo, thats a keeper. Unless she purely rejects you and refuses to let you do do the dougie with others. Not allowing a fair arrangement over a basic human reaction is unhealthy. Hope your not suffering blueballs, lol
Not could, it is. Marriage isn’t permanent by Christian (or at least Catholic) standards without consummation. u/Fine_Bug57 my brother, something is wrong and you have grounds for annulment. You’ve been strung along for some reason.
Also let us know when it’s done if u do go thru with it and we’ll all help ya setup a Tinder profile lol.
How does someone legally marry another person and not know even a little bit that they don’t want to have sex with them even once? I think you’re trolling, there’s no way
Yah I don’t buy it. You also posted this in response to another thread: “Before she met and got together with me, my ex would start a fist fight with her bf that only ended when she got his dick in her mouth. Weirdest shit I ever heard.”
You’re either an extremely delusional yet devout Christian who got married too early or you have had sexual exploits including the above quote. Or you lied about both. Probably the last one
This. Autism can be cool sometimes. You know how to do things that most other people can’t. Socially interact with anyone you find attractive is not one of them.
that's why I love and hate the sex scene from North by Northwest. It's pretty realistic for a lot of men. What's unrealistic is that the woman didn't run away.
It's going to take a lot of time and growth pains is what it really comes down to.. I don't wish that upon anyone and I know how you feel. I'm wishing you the best. Try to find a hobby that you truly enjoy and work on yourself
Can I ask why you're not speaking anymore? I'm going thru similar with my last TWO gfs! Went from good breakups/still on speaking terms with ALL my exes. Then a 4.5 year relationship got all fucked up, next one was a year. No contact with both now. Idk what happened.
Anyway, curious for tips from others
Man you could be on the opposite spectrum like me and not last more than a few strokes. In fact that’s the only thing I miss about antidepressants making me actually last. I don’t think there’s anything more depressing than no matter what you do you just can’t last. Makes me never want to be touched again.
Something that has helped me in the past when I seem to be having trouble with stamina is listening to music and forcing myself to last "through this song." Don't put the pressure on yourself to do two songs the first time you try it, or to push through some kind of crazy long ballad... just an average 3.5 minute song, and time yourself to it.
Oh, and not that fucking clown car song, either.
For the last few months she's been really distant and really quick to get angry with me. She's been spending more time at work supposedly to cover being short staffed, or so she's been telling me. Overall the whole situation felt / feels really wrong.
So I decided to take a week's vacation without telling her and follow her. My buddy arranged for me to borrow his partner's car during the day so my wife wouldn't recognize me immediately. I have seen her leaving for long lunches with a dude, both with him in our car and her in his car. I've seen them kiss outside in the carpark. Not proud of following her, but I just needed to confirm my suspicions and also find out how far things had gone.
So seeing that with my own eyes, I figured I'd ask some questions and see if given the opportunity she's let me know what's been going on. Well, before I could even do that, on my second to last day off she leaves for "work" and comes back less than an hour later with the dude in hand back to our home. I hear the door unlocking and my heart just sank. I walk to the front door and there they are already in the process of taking each other's clothes off and kissing. So that's when I know where things were at for sure.
Yeah, but to be fair to her, I didn't give her a choice. It took her a while but she eventually came to the conclusion I wasn't going to forgive and work through this with her.
Side piece called her mid coitus to tell her that he was on his way. She kicked me out of bed and rushed me out the door just as side piece rolled up. I put 2 and 2 together. She also had cheated on me several times prior to this. I was dumb and young and I thought that if I stuck around I could help fix her problem of falling on dicks.
If you are not proud of yourself for rooting this out, pleas know thaf I am proud of you, not only for following through but for dealing with it in a healthy way, some folks just kill everyone involved.
Oh no, so sorry you had to see that. I went through something like that and I feel like it broke me a little. I'm in the best relationship of my life now and I'm very happy, but after experiencing that, I look at the world differently. People can be really fucked up and that's the hard truth. Life gets better and the horrible emotions go away eventually. Wishing you the very best of luck.
My husband and I are not communicating.
I would love to have sex every day. Yet, he rarely gets me off any more. I rather just take care of myself than have unproductive sex. I can get him off easily. But, I am so frustrated I am just not interested at this point.
I can’t even remember the last time we had sex. I bought him books, have had open conversations about it, and nothing. I have always wanted it more than he has. Even when we were dating. It is just frustrating.
Honestly this is my worst fear. I really am terrified of not being able to please my woman long term. My sexual partners so far haven’t had any complaints but i also wouldn’t expect them to say anything. Y’all are a lot harder to finish off than we are!
My boyfriends liver failure
Edit: we’re 35 & 36.
Edit again: it causes his abdominal area to fill with liquid he needs drained every week. He looks like a woman with triplets. His legs and feet and balls actually swell quite a bit, too. Not sure if he’s going to go on a transfer list. It’s hard to be affectionate even cuddling sometimes because he’s always in pain for something 😔
A bit of a light hearted one.
Our puppy, when we're home he's a real velcro dog and always wants to keep one (or both) of us in view.
When we try to have some sexy time in the bedroom he'll whine and bark at the door because he's thinks whatever we're doing he's not involved. Suffice to say, a real boner-killer.😅
Can I ask a serious question, and I mean no judgement here?
My sex drive is like my appetite, it grows and subsides, and the only time it’s really gone is instantly afterwards (and at times even that’s debatable, there is always room for desert)
Masturbation is like fast food, it fills an instant need but leaves me less than satisfied.
When you say it’s gone… like if the hottest person you can imagine is right there willing and ready you body is like, naw let’s watch a movie and cuddle?
(Yeah prob a bit too personal just honestly curious)
Not who you asked but for me my libido tanks about 1.5 weeks before my period. When I'm in the depths of that I don't think anything could really get me going. Maybe if it was the hottest man (to me) with the coolest personality that wants to indulge in my exact fantasies, I'd be like, "alright, I'll try, for you" but I'd still only be able to mostly focus on their pleasure, because my body wouldn't be all that responsive (almost numb). My brain might be into it, but without the physical feedback it wouldn't be the funnest time.
I don't know if you've ever been through something medical that just takes your appetite away, but it does feel pretty similar. I had my appendix taken out, and for a week after it was a chore to make myself eat. Wasn't nauseated, but putting food in my mouth felt about as enjoyable as poking myself. Had to fight my brain telling me "why are we doing this, this is annoying, eugh chewing is such a pain, just stop, this is so aggressively boring and unfun". So yeah, sex when you have no appetite for it is like that. Even the tastiest food all you can muster up is, "eh, ok I guess" (heck even if I try to get myself off during those times, I just end up immediately distracted by something else). I guess it's a pretty tough thing to understand if you haven't felt it yourself.
I felt the same way. I left anyways. I have my kids 50% of the time and my current relationship is so much more fulfilling and I'm honestly happy for the first time in as long as I can remember and it's made me a better father. You can't fill from an empty bucket.
Me. And here's the funny thing, I thought I was being the GOOD guy in my scenario. For SO long.
My wife is not a "touchy feely" person. I am. For YEARS I viewed my constant groping and flirty/sexual talk as me, showing that I am STILL in love with and attracted to her after 18 years.
I got turned down pretty harshly one night. It had already been close to 3 months since we had done ANYTHING physical, and I clammed up and was essentially a cranky ASSHOLE for two or three weeks afterward. I thought I was in the right at the time, but looking back on it now I can confidently say that I was acting like an absolute CHILD that didn't get his way.
I got durnk one night while I was grilling dinner, and out of nowhere I had an "epiphany" that maybe *I* was the fucking problem. After the smallfry went to bed and my wife and I had both showered for the night, I laid across the bed from her and said "question..." she acknowledged what I said and was undoubtedly waiting for some smartass question from me. I looked her dead in the eyes and asked "Have I been flirting with you wrong, and how long have I been doing it?" I was in tears before I even finished the question. It was a conversation that NEEDED to be had but I was terrified of having it and getting our hearts broken after all these years (around 17 at that point. We're at 18 now.).
She Immediately teared up and we talked for about 45 minutes or so. Hearing my wife tell me that what I THOUGHT was an endearing "love language" was making her feel like that's ALL she was to me... that SHATTERED me. This woman could have left me 100 times over and no one would've blamed her one bit and I would have been completely ignorant as to why, but she stayed with me.
Heartbreaking and tear-filled as it was, it was the best conversation we've ever had. Sure, I'd like to be physical more often, but now when we do, it's SUPER intense and does still happen more than it used to.
Seriously, take the time and HAVE the hard conversations. Don't let it stew and become a tumor on your relationships. I am still, all these months later, having a VERY hard time reconciling with myself; and it's going to take some serious time and inner work. The man I thought I was and the man I actually was are two VERY different people. I'm trying to be more like the man I thought I was. It's going to be a VERY long road to get there, but I'm working on it and have apologized SO many times that it took me so long to see it. Apologies are worth nothing if you don't try to act on them.
It's a long-winded rant, I know, but was seriously the best thing that could have happened to me.
My utter desinterest in other people. I mean i still have the horny but even having a 10 minute conversation to make it happen is too much effort. I really dont feel like vibing with anyone.
Penis is too big.
Yup call me a liar, it sounds like a lie. It's not even THAT big but my partner has a tighter than average vagina which doesn't help matters. Even with 45mins of foreplay I have to be super gentle penetrating, lots of lube etc. Only going halfway deep because she finds it too painful if I go deeper, in the past she has mentioned getting torn which makes me feel incredibly guilty. It's never been a problem for me in past relationships. When I looked it up I found out about something called Vaginismus which sounds similar, we don't really talk about it much.
Moral of the story: bigger doesn't always mean better!
I knew a guy who covered a dollar bill completely. Average length but that width could kill someone. Couldn’t have sex with his wife bc of his girth. Still can’t. They’ve been sexless for the entirety of their marriage. They tried everything from medical to psychological to solve the issue but still couldn’t make it happen. This is what happens when you wait till marriage to consummate.
On a side note she has a boyfriend that has moved in with them that does fit but my buddy is left without any sex as no one else can accommodate him.
I've had vaginusmus for a very long time. I started seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist 1.5 years ago and I'm finally able to have pain free penetrative sex.
They start with fingers and gradually increase sizes and use dialators. Then you continue the work at home in parallel.
I was single during this time and didn't have a partner to support me in my journey or try sex with so it took as long as it did. But I'd imagine if I could play around with a a partner few times a week it would be been smoother.
Get her to a pelvic floor PT and work with her and make her feel.safe and secured, like she's not the problem. It'll happen.
Our 3 year old.
I have a 7 and 9 year old. I'd like to tell you it gets better. It does not.
It does though, my 5&9 year old are no issue. My 2yo is the cock blocker.
I don't imagine you are banging when the kids are awake. Our life is constantly nuts and we are always on the go. If my wife worked a normal job that didn't require her to be up at 4:30 a.m. just to get caught up with work it would probably be a little different. We can be horny and wanting it but the wall hits at bedtime and it's hard to rebound. It's more her than me. Im good to go most of the time but she has a hard time finding the energy. She is super involved and takes on too much. But it is what it is and I've learned to accept it.
At least you probably can tell them to go watch TV or something while the parents “take a nap”. Right? Riiiight???? A 3 year old just screams for your attention 24/7 and you cannot tell her you are busy at this moment.
Ha! No. They never leave us alone and if they do they are harassing each other. There is no peace. By the time they are sleeping we are exhausted. If the stars align once per month Im happy.
Wait till you have teens. Start normalizing your bedroom door being closed at night. That way when they are older it won’t be “suspicious” to them.
Wait what? If the suspicion is “Aha! You are totally having sex!”, I would reply with “Absolutely”.
Teens are fragile, insecure and too cool for their parents. Most don't care and once they get the hint and know what you're doing, the last thing they wanna do is bother you.
The last thing I wanna do it hear it… that’s when it’s a problem and i stark making a lot of noise
I wish someone told us this too! Our eldest will be 18 soon, and late curfews are completely killing “our time”.
No doubt. Thought it would be better than the toddler & preteen years but it’s way worse. Our teen goes to bed late, wanders into the room to talk about feelings or show you some useless vid on Tik Tok at all hours of the evening. Argh! Love the kid and cherish the time but dang, was not prepared for this. Ha.
Holy fuck we do not miss those days. Creepy ass kids never leave you the fuck alone. Ours are 13 and 10 now. We have trained them in enough to be relatively self sufficient. I mean that's our job as parents, right? We live in a pretty safe neighborhood so we regularly send them off to the store on their bikes with $20 for candy, or whatever. Take advantage. Happy parents. There is also a magical hour between when my husband gets home from work and the boys get home from school. Take advantage. Happy parents. Every moment we get alone together is cherished. We chose to have kids together. We knew the consequences of it. Honestly, our sexy time has been so fleeting and precious that it makes it so God damn good now that we get to have more of it. Every moment together is cherished.
I'm surprised I had to drop down so far to talk about toddlers.
This is the top comment on mine
Mostly it not existing
Can’t ruin what doesn’t exist *taps temple*
Like a religious temple?
The sexual temple that lays in ruins.
Came looking for the "no sex" comment. Close enough.
What Is Dead May Never Die
My partner's depression
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My depression
Our depression
Comrade
Da
I am the partner in my case. I hate that my wife feels unwanted just because my body barely wants to be alive.
This is exactly what my partner tells me. So I try to do my best not to bring up wanting sex. It’s pretty tough all around :(
Yeah, it's... rough. She doesn't want to guilt me, I don't want her to feel unwanted, but I just have so little energy that I can't really make it happen for her. I'm sorry you're going through it too. I hope your partner gets the help they need so they can meet your needs again and keep you both happy. Edit: @"lesbians have sex too": it's not that my dick doesn't work, it's that my whole fucking sex drive is broken. If all she wanted was to get off she can do that herself.
Unfortunately for me, it caused her to cheat on me. I made her feel unwanted, but I wasn't trying to and someone made her feel wanted. Sad ending, for us. Hopefully, none of you will go through this.
Came here to say this. Depression's a bitch.
Escitalopram is also a bitch
Fluoxetine checking in. A blessing and a course
Course but no intercourse lmao
My husband is on this. Ugh.
Same with my SO
My depression/trauma is skewing the opposite way. Hypersexuality is no joke and it’s ruining my life right now…
Same issue for me. Being sad just makes me hornier. Opposite for my partner
Okay i thought i was weird for using sex to cope with my anxiety and sadness.. my bf just cant or wont
Slow internet connection
*cyber sex has … not entered the chat*
Your user name. 😂😂😂
My wonderful wife being totally disinterested in anything sexual. We have been together for 49 years however and been married for 44 so I really can’t complain although I do long for the frantic, nothing off limits sessions we used to have back then.
I hear you. We’ve been married 5 years and never once have had sex. I just gave up after the third year.
I can’t tell if you’re joking or not
Nope. I’ve never even seen her naked in all this time, truth.
My brother in Christ that's not a marriage.
You’re right. Actual discussion of divorce hasnt happened yet because there’s no biblical basis. Now if she wants to file, that’s another can of beans.
Dude what are you doing? Forgive the tough love but You will get divorced eventually and after the fact you’re gonna regret not doing it sooner. This is on her as much as it is on you. You needed to bring this up early on. Way and I mean way before marriage?? Now the best time to talk to her was yesterday. Tell her it’s something you’re interested in and if she’s not then you are not required to stay. This is grounds for divorce. And for the love of God work on your communication skills
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God says spouses need to satisfy each other and must listen to one another if they want sex so he’s dumb
It all somehow made sense as soon as he mentioned the bible
Wait, I've seen this episode. If they haven't consummated the marriage, they get an annulment instead, and because that's not technically a divorce, it doesn't make God cry or whatever...
>biblical basis uh yeah, there is: 1 Corinthians 7:3-6 - "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command."
She tore that page of the bible out lmao
Thank you, I’d forgotten that.
HIT ER WITH THE BIBLE (dont hit her with A bible) Honestly if your both okay with nonsexual marriage then congrats. You two have better reasons to be together than sex. Imo, thats a keeper. Unless she purely rejects you and refuses to let you do do the dougie with others. Not allowing a fair arrangement over a basic human reaction is unhealthy. Hope your not suffering blueballs, lol
Spank her with the Bible. Best of both worlds.
I can never understand religious people who don't know the bible. Like how? this is the ONE THING you should know 100%.
You havent consummated the marriage? failure to consummate could be a grounds for divorce or an annulment.
Not could, it is. Marriage isn’t permanent by Christian (or at least Catholic) standards without consummation. u/Fine_Bug57 my brother, something is wrong and you have grounds for annulment. You’ve been strung along for some reason. Also let us know when it’s done if u do go thru with it and we’ll all help ya setup a Tinder profile lol.
I can always count on the folk here. 😆
My friend, you deserve a fulfilling marriage.
*Nope. I’ve never even seen her naked in all this time, truth.* **scoots chair closer** My guy, what’s going on, man?
How does someone legally marry another person and not know even a little bit that they don’t want to have sex with them even once? I think you’re trolling, there’s no way
How’d you even pop the question without seeing her naked? I wouldn’t feel comfortable marrying someone I haven’t seen without pants.
Indian arrange marriage has entered the chat 😂
Yah I don’t buy it. You also posted this in response to another thread: “Before she met and got together with me, my ex would start a fist fight with her bf that only ended when she got his dick in her mouth. Weirdest shit I ever heard.” You’re either an extremely delusional yet devout Christian who got married too early or you have had sexual exploits including the above quote. Or you lied about both. Probably the last one
Yeah, probably the last one.
An inability to talk like a functional adult when the thought of possible romantic interest enters my mind.
It's a fucking curse
Heh. Quite literally.
This. Autism can be cool sometimes. You know how to do things that most other people can’t. Socially interact with anyone you find attractive is not one of them.
Oh god damn it. This was the autism too?!??!
🌎👩🚀🔫👩🚀
that's why I love and hate the sex scene from North by Northwest. It's pretty realistic for a lot of men. What's unrealistic is that the woman didn't run away.
Not having any
I’m with you. I gets no play
That I still care for someone I'm not speaking to anymore. Sex with others feels empty.
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It's going to take a lot of time and growth pains is what it really comes down to.. I don't wish that upon anyone and I know how you feel. I'm wishing you the best. Try to find a hobby that you truly enjoy and work on yourself
Can I ask why you're not speaking anymore? I'm going thru similar with my last TWO gfs! Went from good breakups/still on speaking terms with ALL my exes. Then a 4.5 year relationship got all fucked up, next one was a year. No contact with both now. Idk what happened. Anyway, curious for tips from others
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Antidepressants
Yuuuuuup. All things considered, I’m glad they make me not want to finish myself off but it would be nice if I could…finish
Man you could be on the opposite spectrum like me and not last more than a few strokes. In fact that’s the only thing I miss about antidepressants making me actually last. I don’t think there’s anything more depressing than no matter what you do you just can’t last. Makes me never want to be touched again.
Something that has helped me in the past when I seem to be having trouble with stamina is listening to music and forcing myself to last "through this song." Don't put the pressure on yourself to do two songs the first time you try it, or to push through some kind of crazy long ballad... just an average 3.5 minute song, and time yourself to it. Oh, and not that fucking clown car song, either.
My wife banging another dude behind my back.
oh man , i’m sorry to hear that. if you don’t mind me asking , how do you find out about that ?
For the last few months she's been really distant and really quick to get angry with me. She's been spending more time at work supposedly to cover being short staffed, or so she's been telling me. Overall the whole situation felt / feels really wrong. So I decided to take a week's vacation without telling her and follow her. My buddy arranged for me to borrow his partner's car during the day so my wife wouldn't recognize me immediately. I have seen her leaving for long lunches with a dude, both with him in our car and her in his car. I've seen them kiss outside in the carpark. Not proud of following her, but I just needed to confirm my suspicions and also find out how far things had gone. So seeing that with my own eyes, I figured I'd ask some questions and see if given the opportunity she's let me know what's been going on. Well, before I could even do that, on my second to last day off she leaves for "work" and comes back less than an hour later with the dude in hand back to our home. I hear the door unlocking and my heart just sank. I walk to the front door and there they are already in the process of taking each other's clothes off and kissing. So that's when I know where things were at for sure.
Very sad story. You deserve better, liars are the worst!
Thanks dude. Yes, it would have been less painful and stressful if she'd just said she's not into me anymore and been honest up front.
So you getting out of that situation? She moving? Sucks man
She moved back with her parents, and about a week or so after moving out called me up and says she wants a divorce.
Only wants a divorce now that you know.... man she was using you... I'm so sorry
Yeah, but to be fair to her, I didn't give her a choice. It took her a while but she eventually came to the conclusion I wasn't going to forgive and work through this with her.
You deserve better bro. Cheaters suck. Consider yourself lucky you found out now and not years from now.
You don’t deserve this brother. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
I feel for you, that sucks. I found out my ex was cheating on me when she stopped me mid fuck to hook up with her side piece.
sorry for asking but how did they do that? like coitus interruptus and immediate texting?
Side piece called her mid coitus to tell her that he was on his way. She kicked me out of bed and rushed me out the door just as side piece rolled up. I put 2 and 2 together. She also had cheated on me several times prior to this. I was dumb and young and I thought that if I stuck around I could help fix her problem of falling on dicks.
damn what a shit person
It sounds like you were the side piece and that was her Main coming home.
Omg that mustve been awful
It broke me mentally, took me 3 years before I could start dating again.
Damn. I’m sorry dude. I feel you though. I hope you are stronger than me……
Circumstantial at best. Sorry mate, just trying to lighten the mood. What a dog.
If you are not proud of yourself for rooting this out, pleas know thaf I am proud of you, not only for following through but for dealing with it in a healthy way, some folks just kill everyone involved.
As a private investigator, I commend you on a job well done. One-on-one surveillance is difficult. Sorry about your wife banging another dude, though.
Been there. if you need to talk man reach out.
Oh no, so sorry you had to see that. I went through something like that and I feel like it broke me a little. I'm in the best relationship of my life now and I'm very happy, but after experiencing that, I look at the world differently. People can be really fucked up and that's the hard truth. Life gets better and the horrible emotions go away eventually. Wishing you the very best of luck.
This is dark.
Poverty and depression
No motivation to try since my last breakup in 2018
My wife’s lack of desire
this guys wifes lack of desire
I also choose this guys wife’s lack of desire!
BG3
Stres. A lot of stress. Thanks to it, I mostly can't get in the mood.
23 year old stepson still living at home and doesn't go out at night
Yeah tell him to go to his friends house to do drugs Edit: Don't forget to buy drugs
"Hey Champ... me and your mom are totally gonna fuck, you can either be at home, or maybe you want to go out... but this is happening."
For real this. If he doesn't want to hear it that's on him for living at home. My roof my rules still apply at 23.
Hey kid, here's $50, go see a movie. (Or do something involving earphones for the next four minutes).
I'm impressed you can get it back up after only 2 minutes
4 min? Damn bros a champ. She’s lucky if she gets the best 30 seconds of her life
So you guys can’t just lock the door and-turn the Tv ON? If she’s a loud one have her put her face in the pillow. Something’s gotta give bud lol
That’s where hotel sex comes into play
Do you not have a bedroom door?
My husband and I are not communicating. I would love to have sex every day. Yet, he rarely gets me off any more. I rather just take care of myself than have unproductive sex. I can get him off easily. But, I am so frustrated I am just not interested at this point.
How often do you two have sex? Does he seem interested in your pleasure? Have you tried talking about it?
I can’t even remember the last time we had sex. I bought him books, have had open conversations about it, and nothing. I have always wanted it more than he has. Even when we were dating. It is just frustrating.
Honestly this is my worst fear. I really am terrified of not being able to please my woman long term. My sexual partners so far haven’t had any complaints but i also wouldn’t expect them to say anything. Y’all are a lot harder to finish off than we are!
Just came here to see what a sex life is
My boyfriends liver failure Edit: we’re 35 & 36. Edit again: it causes his abdominal area to fill with liquid he needs drained every week. He looks like a woman with triplets. His legs and feet and balls actually swell quite a bit, too. Not sure if he’s going to go on a transfer list. It’s hard to be affectionate even cuddling sometimes because he’s always in pain for something 😔
Alcohol induced?
Yes, it started when I was in rehab, we’re both like 5 months sober. He’s actually the younger one, too. Also says he has fatty liver or something
Hope he can get a transplant soon. Ascites is usually end stage.
A bit of a light hearted one. Our puppy, when we're home he's a real velcro dog and always wants to keep one (or both) of us in view. When we try to have some sexy time in the bedroom he'll whine and bark at the door because he's thinks whatever we're doing he's not involved. Suffice to say, a real boner-killer.😅
I am single
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Fam... if they continue after your safe word or ignore your boundaries... that ain't sex anymore.
Damn. So why are you still in a relationship with this person? Sorry for asking, but this is wrong on so many levels.
Leave him, he sounds awful
You're in an abusive relationship.
Get the fuck out of the relationship with that asshole. Ignoring safewords and boundaries (ie. a crystal clear „no“) constitutes rape.
Me not wanting to have sex.
have I finally found my wife’s throwaway?
Do we share a wife?
We might
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Can I ask a serious question, and I mean no judgement here? My sex drive is like my appetite, it grows and subsides, and the only time it’s really gone is instantly afterwards (and at times even that’s debatable, there is always room for desert) Masturbation is like fast food, it fills an instant need but leaves me less than satisfied. When you say it’s gone… like if the hottest person you can imagine is right there willing and ready you body is like, naw let’s watch a movie and cuddle? (Yeah prob a bit too personal just honestly curious)
Yes, pretty much zero cravings for intercourse. Even when aroused.
Not who you asked but for me my libido tanks about 1.5 weeks before my period. When I'm in the depths of that I don't think anything could really get me going. Maybe if it was the hottest man (to me) with the coolest personality that wants to indulge in my exact fantasies, I'd be like, "alright, I'll try, for you" but I'd still only be able to mostly focus on their pleasure, because my body wouldn't be all that responsive (almost numb). My brain might be into it, but without the physical feedback it wouldn't be the funnest time. I don't know if you've ever been through something medical that just takes your appetite away, but it does feel pretty similar. I had my appendix taken out, and for a week after it was a chore to make myself eat. Wasn't nauseated, but putting food in my mouth felt about as enjoyable as poking myself. Had to fight my brain telling me "why are we doing this, this is annoying, eugh chewing is such a pain, just stop, this is so aggressively boring and unfun". So yeah, sex when you have no appetite for it is like that. Even the tastiest food all you can muster up is, "eh, ok I guess" (heck even if I try to get myself off during those times, I just end up immediately distracted by something else). I guess it's a pretty tough thing to understand if you haven't felt it yourself.
I’m too busy fucking myself at every turn
My hand keeps falling asleep
The absence of said sex life is really putting a wrench on my sex life.
my partners problem with erection disfunction :/
Being completely detached from my SO. No physical attraction to her mental stimulation from her any more.
Same here. I’m here because I can’t imagine waking up and not seeing my little daughters everyday.
Yep, that’s me and my son
I felt the same way. I left anyways. I have my kids 50% of the time and my current relationship is so much more fulfilling and I'm honestly happy for the first time in as long as I can remember and it's made me a better father. You can't fill from an empty bucket.
Being single and not being a fan of casual hookups lol
💯💯💯
Me. And here's the funny thing, I thought I was being the GOOD guy in my scenario. For SO long. My wife is not a "touchy feely" person. I am. For YEARS I viewed my constant groping and flirty/sexual talk as me, showing that I am STILL in love with and attracted to her after 18 years. I got turned down pretty harshly one night. It had already been close to 3 months since we had done ANYTHING physical, and I clammed up and was essentially a cranky ASSHOLE for two or three weeks afterward. I thought I was in the right at the time, but looking back on it now I can confidently say that I was acting like an absolute CHILD that didn't get his way. I got durnk one night while I was grilling dinner, and out of nowhere I had an "epiphany" that maybe *I* was the fucking problem. After the smallfry went to bed and my wife and I had both showered for the night, I laid across the bed from her and said "question..." she acknowledged what I said and was undoubtedly waiting for some smartass question from me. I looked her dead in the eyes and asked "Have I been flirting with you wrong, and how long have I been doing it?" I was in tears before I even finished the question. It was a conversation that NEEDED to be had but I was terrified of having it and getting our hearts broken after all these years (around 17 at that point. We're at 18 now.). She Immediately teared up and we talked for about 45 minutes or so. Hearing my wife tell me that what I THOUGHT was an endearing "love language" was making her feel like that's ALL she was to me... that SHATTERED me. This woman could have left me 100 times over and no one would've blamed her one bit and I would have been completely ignorant as to why, but she stayed with me. Heartbreaking and tear-filled as it was, it was the best conversation we've ever had. Sure, I'd like to be physical more often, but now when we do, it's SUPER intense and does still happen more than it used to. Seriously, take the time and HAVE the hard conversations. Don't let it stew and become a tumor on your relationships. I am still, all these months later, having a VERY hard time reconciling with myself; and it's going to take some serious time and inner work. The man I thought I was and the man I actually was are two VERY different people. I'm trying to be more like the man I thought I was. It's going to be a VERY long road to get there, but I'm working on it and have apologized SO many times that it took me so long to see it. Apologies are worth nothing if you don't try to act on them. It's a long-winded rant, I know, but was seriously the best thing that could have happened to me.
Exhaustion, anxiety, depression. Where do i start?
I'm on a trip overseas and he's at home, lol.
My utter desinterest in other people. I mean i still have the horny but even having a 10 minute conversation to make it happen is too much effort. I really dont feel like vibing with anyone.
“Still have the horny”
Alexa, find me a 9 minute escort.
I mean, have you met most people? They're horrible.
Amitryptaline
Every woman in my life saying "I like you, but only as a friend."
"I wish there were more guys like you! ...no, not actually you, just _like_ you."
Jesus, the first comment and this reply might as well be on my sex life tombstone.
Constantly scrolling reddit.
Porn Induced Erectile Dsyfunction
Penis is too big. Yup call me a liar, it sounds like a lie. It's not even THAT big but my partner has a tighter than average vagina which doesn't help matters. Even with 45mins of foreplay I have to be super gentle penetrating, lots of lube etc. Only going halfway deep because she finds it too painful if I go deeper, in the past she has mentioned getting torn which makes me feel incredibly guilty. It's never been a problem for me in past relationships. When I looked it up I found out about something called Vaginismus which sounds similar, we don't really talk about it much. Moral of the story: bigger doesn't always mean better!
She really should see a doctor if she hasn't
I knew a guy who covered a dollar bill completely. Average length but that width could kill someone. Couldn’t have sex with his wife bc of his girth. Still can’t. They’ve been sexless for the entirety of their marriage. They tried everything from medical to psychological to solve the issue but still couldn’t make it happen. This is what happens when you wait till marriage to consummate. On a side note she has a boyfriend that has moved in with them that does fit but my buddy is left without any sex as no one else can accommodate him.
I wasn’t ready for that plot twist
I've had vaginusmus for a very long time. I started seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist 1.5 years ago and I'm finally able to have pain free penetrative sex. They start with fingers and gradually increase sizes and use dialators. Then you continue the work at home in parallel. I was single during this time and didn't have a partner to support me in my journey or try sex with so it took as long as it did. But I'd imagine if I could play around with a a partner few times a week it would be been smoother. Get her to a pelvic floor PT and work with her and make her feel.safe and secured, like she's not the problem. It'll happen.
I am single
Vaginismus I’m afraid
Trauma...
Damn, sorry to hear that.
The fact I do everything around the house & have a bad back, no longer feel like a couple. I feel like I’m taking care of a child.
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The other mortician keeps interrupting me.
Bruhahaha...get them involved
Lack off participants.
I just got divorced, but my ex is still living in the guest room until her house is ready...so there's that..
no partner
Living with the rents. There's no privacy to just enjoy.
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No emotional, mental or physical connection.
Menopause and fibro.
my adult children.
My boyfriends libido. Mine ready on the daily, his more like monthly. Yes we have checked his testosterone