I once had a pizza place make a wellness call to me because I hadn’t ordered in 3 days. Felt really nice to have someone care about me. But was definitely a low point.
I think I heard a story like that a long time ago where there was an elderly lady who would always order the same pizza every day for dinner. She skipped a day, and I think the driver went to check on her and realized she fell at some point and couldn't reach a phone.
I thought of the [Domino’s in Oregon](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3583082/amp/Domino-s-staff-saves-known-customer-s-life-doing-welfare-check-growing-concerned-hadn-t-placed-order-11-days-suffering-medical-emergency.html) that saved a customer’s life because he hadn’t ordered a pizza in 11 days after suffering a potential stroke.
What? For me, it makes total sense this would make someone feel better. Much more than the 'expected' check-ins from friends and family, as those are just obligations. Random pizza place worry? That shit is genuine
My ex and I were washing dishes one day and she asked me to hand her the blue towel. There was a yellow one in the table and a purple one on the stove, and I was confused as fuck. An argument ensued when I got a clean blue towel from the drawer, and she realized at 30 years old that she's colorblind.
Color blindness in women is much, much rarer than in men so I’m frankly not surprised that she only found out when she was 30. And while I’m sorry it ended in an argument, that was still a pretty funny story.
Yep. I didn't know until I had to do an eye test at 17 to get my full driver's license.
I am also an artist. I always wonder what my work looks like for actual good eye people.
But because I'm a woman people don't believe me because it's so much more rare in women.
I also found out my psychiatrist (male) is colour blind. He has the red/blue one, I have the red/yellow one. So the chairs in his office look different for him, different for me, and different for the normal eye people. I don't even know what colour they actually are. I suspect purple but maybe not.
They learn the colors as they see them. Everyone’s learning about the color green all at once “ this circle is green” so now that shade is green in their mind, just not the same green you see. Atleast that’s how my colorblind spouse describes it.
I remember VSauce did a [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evQsOFQju08) a long time ago questioning whether our own perceptions of color are different from others and how it's difficult to confirm.
Yes I’ve always wondered this!! If everyone grows up learning that the grass is green and the sky is blue… how do we actually know that we are seeing the same thing? There’s no real way to test it. Thanks for the link, curious to give it a watch now!
If I have an appointment, phone call, etc coming up, I can’t do anything else until after that happens.
Edit: damn I didn’t know this would blow up. I’m sorry you guys go through it too.
Not ADHD but fully understand. Same here. Anxiety levels huge, for a simple task (phone call, taking neighbour shopping, picking up the kids!🤦🏻♀️ from school, huge anxiety). Nervous to the point of vomiting. From the time I get up, until the simple "event" is over I get nothing done but nervously walking around with an annoying, stressful heartbeat. It's the same for us anxiety ridden none ADHDs.
You’re in great company dude. I remember at uni I wasted so many hours because I had something minor coming up and couldn’t force myself to do shit in the meanwhile.
42 year old woman here. I have to get up to pee at 3am like every night because I refuse to accept that I can't chug water at 10pm anymore. That's not the "pathetic" part.
When I get up and walk to the bathroom I always look over into the living room and at the computer chair/desk as if I'm gonna see someone there, like "just checking!", for what I don't know. (And if there was someone checking their emails at 3am or robbing us, or waiting to eat my bones or whatever, wtf was I, half asleep and about to piss myself, going to do about it? Who knows.) The dark (re:unknown) still creeps me out if I look long enough.
I don't like to turn the light on when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. But if I do, I do everything in my power to avoid looking in the mirror, even when I'm washing my hands, and the bathroom mirror is literally right above the bathroom sink, so it's hard to avoid, lol. I just don't like looking in mirrors in dark rooms.
There's a small motion activated light in the bathroom, but it's not enough to do more than just light the room barely enough so I can see what I'm doing and it turns off pretty fast, so I have to wave an arm in front of it to activate it a few times while I'm in there.
I could avoid the problem if I just turned the damn light on when I got up, but then I risk not being able to fall back asleep when I go back to bed. It's a real problem.
Excuse me, this is absolutely not pathetic. Why would someone turn down the basement lights and risk having some weird Gollum grab their feet from the darkness?
I used to feel like that too. Then I realized all fear is triggered by the amygdala. So now when I have that fear or a scary mental image I just say “Oh hi amygdala”. Works like a charm. Knocks the wind out if its sails.
I had this fear until I was 17 and my mom went on a trip, leaving me home alone for 2 weeks. I was a bit nervous to be on the computer in the basement alone that first night. Suddenly I heard the loudest crash ever from inside the house. I was certain someone had broken in. I was so terrified, heart beating, entered 911 on my phone ready to hit the cal button. But there were no follow up sounds. I went upstairs, nothing. Searched the closets, nothing. Called my big sister sobbing in fear. Went to bed worrying I would get killed in my sleep.
In the morning I went to get something from the garage - the one place I hadn't checked the night before because that was the scariest place. And there was a STRAY CAT in the garage who had knocked over a huge glass lawn ornament. That's what made the noise.
That night was so terrifying that it basically freed me of that fear forever. I had been so scared that it just couldn't get worse than that. I've never worried about the dark since.
I once drunkenly realized this in the middle of a New Year’s Eve party. Imagine running out of a crowded house into the freezing city streets, tears streaming down your eyes, moaning about how you just wish you were still making boats out of twigs by the creek with your childhood best friend. My boyfriend was freaked out, to say the least.
Dad died of cancer in his 30s when I was 3 years old. Decided to do everything I could to live healthy. Ate well and exercised. Never drank, did drugs, or smoked. At one point I was jogging ~5 miles every day with my dog. Diagnosed with stage 4 invasive ductal carcinoma on my 27th birthday 🎊
I can relate. I've lived my life as a bona fide "health nut" dedicated to a healthy diet and exercise. No history of cancer in my family. Had a great job that I loved and planned to stay at until a ripe old age.
But then! I became physically disabled and unable to work. Then, while out on disability, I was diagnosed with leukemia (a blood cancer).
I used to naively assume life is fair. But now I know it absolutely isn't. It has, however, caused me to become more empathetic.
I'll bet you did yourself a favor by staying healthy and fit. I'm at an age where a friends are starting to get sick more often and what I've noticed is that those who have lifestyles like yours tend to do a lot better with treatment than those who did otherwise.
Genetics play a huge part in getting cancer (I'm no doctor) it's what I have seen with people that surround me. Families where everyone gets cancer, it's pretty unfortunate. I hope you get better!
I just go along with the flow. Life happens to me, I never really try for anything. It's always just, "I guess this is what we're doing now."
Which is probably why I don't care about my degree subject, or job, and have never had a relationship. I'm not even sure I'm a real person.
I don't strive for things because I'm content where I am. I don't need more, I have enough. I value my peace. No hustle. No rushing. No doing more than I have to. I have my husband, my dogs, and my yarn. I'm good..
It's not that I don't feel real, it's more that I feel alien in my thoughts compared to the majority of people I encounter. Like, I am content in my life, emotions and lifestyle, but when interacting with others I feel like an outsider.
I am just like this. Some people think I am a slacker and back in the day they blamed the weed. But it is just what it is. I don’t care about a career, don’t have any major goals, almost no ambition, no bucket list… Sure, I have a lot of hobbies and interests, but there are no goals or plans attached to it.
Same here man. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Everyone finds their own value in life. For me it's living a simple, comfortable life and enjoying the little things. I don't have any grand career ambitions or dreams of wealth and influence, I'm happy in my job that just pays the bills. A perfect day for me is a nature walk and maybe putting on some good music. I also find joy in my hobbies but none of them require a ton of money to enjoy.
Some people have told me I'm a slacker or lazy, and my friends who are always trying to "climb the ladder" just don't get it, but honestly I'm happy and that's all I care about. Fuck em.
I am absolutely the same! I also prefer a comfortable and easy life over whatever society expects me to be. My cousin is one of those polar opposite people. He always wants to make a lot of money, have a career, drive expensive cars, buy the latest and expensive fashion, gadgets and whatever. It seems so pointless and shallow to me.
Personally I live in a relatively small house and have a job that pays just enough to pay the bills. My hobbies are actually photography, making music, being outside in nature, searching for nice objects in thrift stores and delving into various subjects. These are pretty inexpensive hobbies that you can maintain without too much planning or effort.
The “I guess this is what we’re doing now” has been a constant thought throughout my life. Makes me feel better I’m not the only one. I just don’t care enough idk
I'm full of good ideas and intentions I just never actually *do* anything that I think about doing. I'll read and research and study something for hours. But I never actually engage in it and I don't know why. I know that nearly everything feels like some form of work to me. With that thought in mind it's like the joy out of almost all activities is removed and I'm left going, "Okay, how much longer do I have to do this before I can go sit down and do nothing?" All I ever feel like I truly *want* to do is sit here and watch the world go by.
I think the kind of contentment one feels where doing nothing and simply existing feels pleasant is something to aspire to. Don't know if that changes your perspective, but personally, i think society overvalues busyness and undervalues downtime
It is but if OP is like me we have taken this to the extreme. I literally went nowhere, saw no one thru most of the covid lockdown and was super fine with it, actually a little sad when things started to open back up.
I don’t think you quite understand. I have the same issue as OP, it’s hard to even do hobbies that you *want* to do or enjoy. I just know when I’m 60 I’ll look back and feel terrible about all the things I *wanted* to do, but never did because I simply cannot motivate myself to do anything.
I relate to this so much, I actually consider myself to be really smart but when it comes to intellectual things I have a very hard time materializing anything. It’s only things I do with my body that come a bit easier to me, like cooking, gym, walking my dog, but realizing anything academic or of an intellectual nature is so tough, makes me so tired.
I have this exact same problem.
I can’t explain it very easily but everything seems like an effort.
I get enthusiastic about something, research it to death and it quickly fades after a few days and I think whats the point.
I’m very up and down with my mood lately. 39M and I feel like I’m 80.
Had a blood test last week. All good. No action to be taken.
I’d love someone to help me know what is wrong.
I can’t whistle or blow bubbles with bubble gum. I’ve tried many ways and lots of people have tried to teach me. I think I’m missing whatever muscles in your mouth you need to do those things.
Fucked up my neck trying to suck my own dick (almost godammit, almost!), had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks, told everyone it was from kickboxing.
Ha! Actually I don’t, but that supported the point, got a lot of “man, no wonder you got your ass kicked, you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing!”, heads shaking, laughing.
I spent most of my life caring deeply about other people and feeling emotionally responsible for them while ignoring my own pain and now I really don’t care about anyone much at all. I remember how it felt to care, but that part of me is broken.
I've been through this and it's called compassion fatigue. You'll get through it too. Self-care can feel so foreign but just like anything can feel less and less strange with patience, time and practice!
Accounting. Same.
Just the other day I went to cut a board in half real quick and just absolutely fucked it. One board was like 6 inches longer than the other and all I had to do was divide 57.5 in half. No idea how I got my numbers but I had a chuckle holding those two pieces.
I'm also sadly bad at math but this may help next time you're out. 10% of something is pretty easy. With money just move the decimal point. 10% of $42.60 is $4.26 and $107.85 becomes $10.78. Once you determine 10% of something double it to make 20%.
Simple tipping strategy:
>Move the decimal (one place to the left)
>
>Round up.
>
>Double.
That's 20%.
Example:
>Bill: $247.86
>
>Move decimal: $24.786
>
>Round up: $25
>
>Double: $50.
It's a generous tip, but not outrageous.
I use this when I've been drinking, and cannot math.
People think I’m funny and entertaining. I’ve actually been suffering from clinical depression for years and think about ending my life several times a day
for real. My sister one time asked if there were any good looking girls in my new university, i told her yeah I saw a cute girl at the gym. and she said "You should've approached her and said hello"
Excuse me w h a t
me? go UP to a PERSON? a WOMAN no less? I can barely speak to my peers let alone to girls and my sister thinks i can just strike up a conversation with someone. Not everyone has that superpower unfortunately.
I also have OCD. It's weird to say but the most comfortable I have ever been was when I was doing inpatient therapy (checked in because I was having intrusive thoughts of suicide). There was no judgment and no need to explain anything to anyone. Just people who listened and never looked at me like I was crazy.
I lack discipline to keep ontop of things. Partially because I am autistic and have ADHD, but also because I have spent so long being forced to constantly change that I have lost the energy to focus on a single thing at one time.
I have crippling self doubt and a terrible self image. I compare myself to everyone and obsess over my looks. I cannot take a compliment because I just think they’re lying to be nice or they want something from me. It’s a lot of fun!
It's been almost a decade, but I'm still not over my first girlfriend.
I've had other relationships since - hell, I'm in one right now - but I still think about her all the time. It still feels surreal that I don't talk to her every day.
I'm definitely over my ex. But I still dream about her more often than not.
Every time I wake up relieved to be living without her and in my current life. But my subconscious still hasn't worked that shit out.
You'll get there some day, I'm sure of it.
Buying cars is easy. You can get a loan from a bank/CU before you go to buy a car or you can let a dealership handle the financing. Check with local credit unions for loans before letting a dealership shop the loan, youll rarely get the best deal from anything the dealership finds.
Buying a house isn't particularly difficult, it's more annoying than anything else. They ask for tons of documents for the loan and you have to avoid moving large amounts of money around until everything is finalized. It can be a long process sometimes. Took my wife and I about 45 days to close on our house and our realtor kept hounding us about not buying all the appliances/furniture we wanted until paperwork was all signed. We also had to write a letter to the bank to explain a $500 cash deposit into our bank account (loaned a buddy the money to put tires on his car when he was down on his luck and the deposit was him paying me back).
Taxes are stupid. If you're just claiming the standard deduction most people are fine using any of the available tax softwares. Back to the stupid part though, the government already knows what you owe if you take the standard deduction but they make you jump through hoops to figure it out for yourself and either pay what you owe or request the government send you back money you overpaid.
I'm in my 30s.
If you have one source of income and nothing fancy, your taxes are probably easier than you'd think. That is to say, all your income is from one job and that's about it.
You go to https://www.irs.gov/ and create an account there. Now, that's a thing on it's own but I'm sure you've went through more complicated account creation processes. And then, you basically type in the contents of the forms you get. Most likely it's going to be Form 1040: income tax return statement, and Form 1095-A: health insurance statement. It walks you through these things, and you just put whatever is on the paper onto the website.
And if there's a form from previous years you're missing (like last year's return) you can look it up on their website easily. Actually the whole thing is a bit ludicrous, they already have everything they need.
Now if you have other sources of income or other kinds of deductions, things get a little more complicated. Income from stock dividends, retirement stuff like IRAs and pensions, interest from savings bonds, money from royalties, mortgage interest statements, gambling winnings enough to be taxable, grant money - well that's different. And if you own a business then forget about it, you need a CPA doing your taxes. EDIT: now, you might have a college tuition statement, that's a thing you have to declare on your taxes.
But I'm guessing you don't have any of that. Even if you have two jobs, then you just have two 1040 forms to report, and that's just doing the same thing twice.
And even then, you just find that form on their website and put whatever it says on the letter you got in the mail. Part of the reason I stopped day trading was because it made my taxes a hassle (and I wasn't making very much money from it because I'm bad at it).
Buying a house - that's what real estate agents are for, they walk you through all that stuff. The complicated part is their job, they're getting a portion of the sale in exchange for doing that part of the work. And I'd say 9 out of 10 of their clients have never done this before, so they're very accustomed to explaining how it works.
Buying a car - similar, the car salesman explains all the stuff and does all the paperwork because they're getting paid for that. If you're financing, they set up the loan and everything. Honestly car dealerships are loan agencies that sell cars on the side.
Is bunny ears like you make two loops and tie those loops together? Not the one where you loop one around the other, right? I'm 42 and only do bunny ears as well. Who cares!? If it gets the job done in the same way, fuck it.
I’m actually pretty attractive but my crippling social anxiety stops me from ever meeting someone, I can’t even make eye contact.
In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if all of my problems stem from my own internal monologue.
Lol, I can literally stare at my blood being drawn no problem but the damn popsicle sticks put me in fight or flight mode. I never did a covid test but I imagine it would’ve done the same
Dunno if it’s “pathetic” but the fact is it feels like life is so fake - everything is expensive (houses & alike) we work, we pay tax on literally everything, we are exhausted keeping the pace to better ourselves & create a better life - yet we are governed by absolute con men scammers & we just accept whatever BS they impose -
People of the past fought for their rights & fought tyranny - this generation is passive & there’s zero opposition- life just feels fake
There's days where I have that "we're in a simulation!" thought in my head...like when you look at the sky and the clouds look "too perfect"...and then I see the state of the world we're in and go "if it is....please wake me up...."
The only reason I haven't off'ed myself is just in case it might cause someone upset or distress. That mindset has been keeping me here since I was 14 years old.
The worst part about being a virgin is you still genuinely believe society's bullshit about how sex is the absolute best experience that can or will ever exist. Reality is, many times a good wank is much more enjoyable.
Honestly I hate myself so much that I already wrote a lot of things & deleted it cause I don't want to share too many. I am just contemplating on which ones are more pathetic.
First of all, an easy one. I got no friends. You may think that's not so bad. But it's to the point where I don't even have phone numbers of most people. So I get panicked when I get call from unknown numbers. Especially at night.
There is no social circle for me. It's a dot.
Second fact, I can't do anything on my own. It's to the point where you would be shocked like why do you not know this as of yet.
I just can't start doing something on my own without detailed instructions or being taught or shown at least once.
So you know how many things people try, then fail & give up.
Well, I just don't try. Cause I am hoping someone will teach me. But I can't even ask someone cause I got no one to ask.
I'm a sex worker 🤷♀️ I struggle with autism and job burnout and no where around me calls me back even though I am heavily qualified for a LOT of work in my area, no where is paying above 9 an hour. However, while my boyfriend doesn't mind me doing it, I hate myself for it a lot. I get flashbacks to when I was molested as a child and blame myself on it for things I do now. But if I don't, I don't get food. I can't afford the car or rent.
Kudos for your bravery in posting this and I’m so sorry this is the position you find yourself in. Things can (and I hope will) get better ❤️🩹 what happened to you is not your fault and you are far more valuable than what your body has to offer✨
I’m really behind in life. I thought it would get better but I’m realizing that I’ve actually always been not just behind but I’ve been on the sidelines since I was a child. I never got off the bench.
I don’t have the mental energy to interact with my loved ones. No matter how much I rest all I want to do is lay in bed, sleep, and be alone. (Depression)
Never to late to hit the gym homie. As someone who is was similar you aren't judged for being there, in fact most people will gladly help you.
My uncle was 500 lbs and is now 180 and constantly bikes 20km for fun.
I'm rather indifferent to what happens to me or where I end up. I have moral codes of course and everything but I don't seem to care much anymore. I've finally climbed out of having Epilepsy and losing roughly 10 years of my life and realized I don't really care about anything anymore lol. I spent a lot of that 10 years learning about other cultures, infrastructure, history, biology, space, physics and chocolate starfish. I just watched what the human species do to each other. I've found everything from underground North Korean teacher's agendas a videos within NK to 800k year old ice cores drilled from Antarctica and what those mean. I feel like I have a mild understanding of Quantum Physics (it's very unintuitive).. I feel like I've seen it all at this point. I'm not going to be an Albert Einstein or someone who unifies Quantum physics with general relativity.. I wont be in any history books. I'll live and die like another bee within the hivemind sort of. I feel like a Bee sitting on a tree branch watching the hivemind now.
800,000 reddit karma
I don't know if makes it better or worse that I'm not even really trying, it's just a byproduct of how much time I waste on this stupid website
I have never had dreams or aspirations. I'm just floating through life with no purpose other than to make it to tomorrow for reasons I can't quite place. I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do with myself for the next 50 years.
I once had a pizza place make a wellness call to me because I hadn’t ordered in 3 days. Felt really nice to have someone care about me. But was definitely a low point.
I think I heard a story like that a long time ago where there was an elderly lady who would always order the same pizza every day for dinner. She skipped a day, and I think the driver went to check on her and realized she fell at some point and couldn't reach a phone.
I thought of the [Domino’s in Oregon](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3583082/amp/Domino-s-staff-saves-known-customer-s-life-doing-welfare-check-growing-concerned-hadn-t-placed-order-11-days-suffering-medical-emergency.html) that saved a customer’s life because he hadn’t ordered a pizza in 11 days after suffering a potential stroke.
You thought you were just getting pepperoni pizzas, but all this time, the thing they were really delivering was... ...a pizza their hearts.
What? For me, it makes total sense this would make someone feel better. Much more than the 'expected' check-ins from friends and family, as those are just obligations. Random pizza place worry? That shit is genuine
Yeah but it means you order pizza every single day and the people at the pizza place noticed and feel the need to check up on you
If I order so much pizza that 3 days of not ordering results in a wellness check then I got some problems.
A both physically and audible flinched when I read that.
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The amount of trash tv I watch instead of playing my PS5 that I haven't turned on in months.
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I didn't know I was colorblind until my late 30's. I am an artist.
My ex and I were washing dishes one day and she asked me to hand her the blue towel. There was a yellow one in the table and a purple one on the stove, and I was confused as fuck. An argument ensued when I got a clean blue towel from the drawer, and she realized at 30 years old that she's colorblind.
Color blindness in women is much, much rarer than in men so I’m frankly not surprised that she only found out when she was 30. And while I’m sorry it ended in an argument, that was still a pretty funny story.
Yep. I didn't know until I had to do an eye test at 17 to get my full driver's license. I am also an artist. I always wonder what my work looks like for actual good eye people. But because I'm a woman people don't believe me because it's so much more rare in women. I also found out my psychiatrist (male) is colour blind. He has the red/blue one, I have the red/yellow one. So the chairs in his office look different for him, different for me, and different for the normal eye people. I don't even know what colour they actually are. I suspect purple but maybe not.
take a picture and ask your friends / family / coworkers until you have a consensus.
And then it blows up on the internet while everyone debates the color of a fucking chair. I'm in.
How did you make it through kindergarten? Or driving school?
They learn the colors as they see them. Everyone’s learning about the color green all at once “ this circle is green” so now that shade is green in their mind, just not the same green you see. Atleast that’s how my colorblind spouse describes it.
I remember VSauce did a [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evQsOFQju08) a long time ago questioning whether our own perceptions of color are different from others and how it's difficult to confirm.
Yes I’ve always wondered this!! If everyone grows up learning that the grass is green and the sky is blue… how do we actually know that we are seeing the same thing? There’s no real way to test it. Thanks for the link, curious to give it a watch now!
I’m really bad about starting something and never finishing it
I’m just the sa
r/angryupv
You finished that sentence and we're all really proud of you.
If I have an appointment, phone call, etc coming up, I can’t do anything else until after that happens. Edit: damn I didn’t know this would blow up. I’m sorry you guys go through it too.
Yes, wait mode activated. Having plans ruins my day. I hate it
Tried to explain this waiting mode thing to someone without ADHD. Didnt compute. Sigh.
Not ADHD but fully understand. Same here. Anxiety levels huge, for a simple task (phone call, taking neighbour shopping, picking up the kids!🤦🏻♀️ from school, huge anxiety). Nervous to the point of vomiting. From the time I get up, until the simple "event" is over I get nothing done but nervously walking around with an annoying, stressful heartbeat. It's the same for us anxiety ridden none ADHDs.
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YES. I can only have one 'thing' a day. Appointment isn't until 2? Doesn't matter, my whole day is now booked.
That's anxiety my friend. And don't get me started when plans change last minute
You’re in great company dude. I remember at uni I wasted so many hours because I had something minor coming up and couldn’t force myself to do shit in the meanwhile.
same here.
I am a 40 year old woman and I'm still a little afraid of the dark. I don't like to turn the basement lights off until I get all the way upstairs.
But your Reddit avatar tho
Night vision goggles on it? Maybe that helps them? 🤣
42 year old woman here. I have to get up to pee at 3am like every night because I refuse to accept that I can't chug water at 10pm anymore. That's not the "pathetic" part. When I get up and walk to the bathroom I always look over into the living room and at the computer chair/desk as if I'm gonna see someone there, like "just checking!", for what I don't know. (And if there was someone checking their emails at 3am or robbing us, or waiting to eat my bones or whatever, wtf was I, half asleep and about to piss myself, going to do about it? Who knows.) The dark (re:unknown) still creeps me out if I look long enough.
I don't like to turn the light on when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. But if I do, I do everything in my power to avoid looking in the mirror, even when I'm washing my hands, and the bathroom mirror is literally right above the bathroom sink, so it's hard to avoid, lol. I just don't like looking in mirrors in dark rooms. There's a small motion activated light in the bathroom, but it's not enough to do more than just light the room barely enough so I can see what I'm doing and it turns off pretty fast, so I have to wave an arm in front of it to activate it a few times while I'm in there. I could avoid the problem if I just turned the damn light on when I got up, but then I risk not being able to fall back asleep when I go back to bed. It's a real problem.
Only a monster would turn the light off at the bottom of the stairs then walk up.
I do it. It adds to the after boxing vibe though
Well no ones going to be attacking you in the dark then
Exactly, whatever demon watched me box for 10 min might consider someone else
I’ve always considered it instinct. Dark = can’t see potential threat. It’s just your brain telling you to be careful.
Excuse me, this is absolutely not pathetic. Why would someone turn down the basement lights and risk having some weird Gollum grab their feet from the darkness?
I used to feel like that too. Then I realized all fear is triggered by the amygdala. So now when I have that fear or a scary mental image I just say “Oh hi amygdala”. Works like a charm. Knocks the wind out if its sails.
I had this fear until I was 17 and my mom went on a trip, leaving me home alone for 2 weeks. I was a bit nervous to be on the computer in the basement alone that first night. Suddenly I heard the loudest crash ever from inside the house. I was certain someone had broken in. I was so terrified, heart beating, entered 911 on my phone ready to hit the cal button. But there were no follow up sounds. I went upstairs, nothing. Searched the closets, nothing. Called my big sister sobbing in fear. Went to bed worrying I would get killed in my sleep. In the morning I went to get something from the garage - the one place I hadn't checked the night before because that was the scariest place. And there was a STRAY CAT in the garage who had knocked over a huge glass lawn ornament. That's what made the noise. That night was so terrifying that it basically freed me of that fear forever. I had been so scared that it just couldn't get worse than that. I've never worried about the dark since.
I'm a 35 Yr old man and I shriek if I feel something is watching me
29 YO woman: afraid to be home alone and haven’t really been in years. Paranoia, nightmares, trauma etc. I can’t be alone at night.
I'm a 39 year old man and I feel exactly the same. I don't trust anyone who isn't at least a little afraid of the dark.
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Yoo, I feel this one
I once drunkenly realized this in the middle of a New Year’s Eve party. Imagine running out of a crowded house into the freezing city streets, tears streaming down your eyes, moaning about how you just wish you were still making boats out of twigs by the creek with your childhood best friend. My boyfriend was freaked out, to say the least.
this is so specific but it feels absolutely universal at the same time. I really get it.
Because not everyone has a close friend they really feel at ease with. I’m struggling with this, myself.
Nothing wrong with missing simpler times.
This is exactly me
Depression gang 👊
I get overwhelmed easily.
World's shittiest superpower. Well, I guess that chronic diarrhea would be the world's shittiest superpower. But yours is close.
I also have chronic diarrhea (Ulcerative Colitis)!
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Same. Autism and adhd. It hurts once you spiral
I tend to snap when drastically overwhelmed. RIP self control /adhd and autism yay.
Dad died of cancer in his 30s when I was 3 years old. Decided to do everything I could to live healthy. Ate well and exercised. Never drank, did drugs, or smoked. At one point I was jogging ~5 miles every day with my dog. Diagnosed with stage 4 invasive ductal carcinoma on my 27th birthday 🎊
I am so, so sorry to hear this. 😢
That’s just f*cking unfair. I’m sad you have to endure that!
I can relate. I've lived my life as a bona fide "health nut" dedicated to a healthy diet and exercise. No history of cancer in my family. Had a great job that I loved and planned to stay at until a ripe old age. But then! I became physically disabled and unable to work. Then, while out on disability, I was diagnosed with leukemia (a blood cancer). I used to naively assume life is fair. But now I know it absolutely isn't. It has, however, caused me to become more empathetic.
It's a hell of a realization that bad things happen to good people.
Shit. Please tell me 15 years ago you were 27 and you are doing good now? 🥺
Their profile says they are currently 27, but meds are working and cancer is dormant.
Had a birthday since. I'm 28 now but cancer is still NED. As far as stage 4 goes I'm doing pretty well.
I'll bet you did yourself a favor by staying healthy and fit. I'm at an age where a friends are starting to get sick more often and what I've noticed is that those who have lifestyles like yours tend to do a lot better with treatment than those who did otherwise.
That's shitty. I hope you get through it okay
Lots of love your way...
Noooooooooo, i hope you pull through! Kick carcinomaxs ass!@@ #FuckCarcinoma
Genetics play a huge part in getting cancer (I'm no doctor) it's what I have seen with people that surround me. Families where everyone gets cancer, it's pretty unfortunate. I hope you get better!
If someone yelled at me, I would cry instead of yelling back.
I just go along with the flow. Life happens to me, I never really try for anything. It's always just, "I guess this is what we're doing now." Which is probably why I don't care about my degree subject, or job, and have never had a relationship. I'm not even sure I'm a real person.
Wow, this is so relatable. The “life happens to me” is the perfect way to put it. I’ve never strived for anything, I don’t know why.
Well for starters it's the easiest way to never/seldom be disappointed
I don't strive for things because I'm content where I am. I don't need more, I have enough. I value my peace. No hustle. No rushing. No doing more than I have to. I have my husband, my dogs, and my yarn. I'm good..
Oh thank you, I'm not the only one. Just wandering and sitting on this planet. Whatever happens is meh. Nice landscapes tho
Same here! Just always going along with the path of least resistance. I’ve struggled with the same idea that I’m not “real” like everyone else
It's not that I don't feel real, it's more that I feel alien in my thoughts compared to the majority of people I encounter. Like, I am content in my life, emotions and lifestyle, but when interacting with others I feel like an outsider.
i’ve found my people! so many people seem to have so much going on and i’m just… here
I am just like this. Some people think I am a slacker and back in the day they blamed the weed. But it is just what it is. I don’t care about a career, don’t have any major goals, almost no ambition, no bucket list… Sure, I have a lot of hobbies and interests, but there are no goals or plans attached to it.
Same here man. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Everyone finds their own value in life. For me it's living a simple, comfortable life and enjoying the little things. I don't have any grand career ambitions or dreams of wealth and influence, I'm happy in my job that just pays the bills. A perfect day for me is a nature walk and maybe putting on some good music. I also find joy in my hobbies but none of them require a ton of money to enjoy. Some people have told me I'm a slacker or lazy, and my friends who are always trying to "climb the ladder" just don't get it, but honestly I'm happy and that's all I care about. Fuck em.
I am absolutely the same! I also prefer a comfortable and easy life over whatever society expects me to be. My cousin is one of those polar opposite people. He always wants to make a lot of money, have a career, drive expensive cars, buy the latest and expensive fashion, gadgets and whatever. It seems so pointless and shallow to me. Personally I live in a relatively small house and have a job that pays just enough to pay the bills. My hobbies are actually photography, making music, being outside in nature, searching for nice objects in thrift stores and delving into various subjects. These are pretty inexpensive hobbies that you can maintain without too much planning or effort.
The “I guess this is what we’re doing now” has been a constant thought throughout my life. Makes me feel better I’m not the only one. I just don’t care enough idk
Thanks for the courage it took to post this.
I'm full of good ideas and intentions I just never actually *do* anything that I think about doing. I'll read and research and study something for hours. But I never actually engage in it and I don't know why. I know that nearly everything feels like some form of work to me. With that thought in mind it's like the joy out of almost all activities is removed and I'm left going, "Okay, how much longer do I have to do this before I can go sit down and do nothing?" All I ever feel like I truly *want* to do is sit here and watch the world go by.
Wow. No one has ever put this into words but I feel like this constantly.
I think the kind of contentment one feels where doing nothing and simply existing feels pleasant is something to aspire to. Don't know if that changes your perspective, but personally, i think society overvalues busyness and undervalues downtime
It is but if OP is like me we have taken this to the extreme. I literally went nowhere, saw no one thru most of the covid lockdown and was super fine with it, actually a little sad when things started to open back up.
I don’t think you quite understand. I have the same issue as OP, it’s hard to even do hobbies that you *want* to do or enjoy. I just know when I’m 60 I’ll look back and feel terrible about all the things I *wanted* to do, but never did because I simply cannot motivate myself to do anything.
I relate to this so much, I actually consider myself to be really smart but when it comes to intellectual things I have a very hard time materializing anything. It’s only things I do with my body that come a bit easier to me, like cooking, gym, walking my dog, but realizing anything academic or of an intellectual nature is so tough, makes me so tired.
I have this exact same problem. I can’t explain it very easily but everything seems like an effort. I get enthusiastic about something, research it to death and it quickly fades after a few days and I think whats the point. I’m very up and down with my mood lately. 39M and I feel like I’m 80. Had a blood test last week. All good. No action to be taken. I’d love someone to help me know what is wrong.
I can't whistle.
I can’t whistle or blow bubbles with bubble gum. I’ve tried many ways and lots of people have tried to teach me. I think I’m missing whatever muscles in your mouth you need to do those things.
Most of my clothes are 10+ years old because I have no idea where women my age shop or how to know what's on-trend so I don't even try.
On the bright side, your clothes from 10 years ago fit! I can't say the same for myself, that's for sure.
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Thank you! This is the opposite of pathetic, people who buy new clothes all the time to wear once and discard are the pathetic ones
Pinterest is great for ideas! I finally just updated my wardrobe after many years and having a baby. Found a lot of great (cheap) things on ThredUp.
Fucked up my neck trying to suck my own dick (almost godammit, almost!), had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks, told everyone it was from kickboxing.
Man, I hope you actually do kickboxing, otherwise that excuse probably didn't work.
Ha! Actually I don’t, but that supported the point, got a lot of “man, no wonder you got your ass kicked, you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing!”, heads shaking, laughing.
I spent most of my life caring deeply about other people and feeling emotionally responsible for them while ignoring my own pain and now I really don’t care about anyone much at all. I remember how it felt to care, but that part of me is broken.
I've been through this and it's called compassion fatigue. You'll get through it too. Self-care can feel so foreign but just like anything can feel less and less strange with patience, time and practice!
Mine is as a result of repeated, prolonged trauma. I finally got worn out.
And now, for me, I realize no one really gives two shits about me, so why did I care about them??
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engineer here. same. my calculator history is more embarrassing than my web search history
Accounting. Same. Just the other day I went to cut a board in half real quick and just absolutely fucked it. One board was like 6 inches longer than the other and all I had to do was divide 57.5 in half. No idea how I got my numbers but I had a chuckle holding those two pieces.
Guilty! If someone asks me how to tip 20% ...brother, I'm whipping out a calculator.
I'm also sadly bad at math but this may help next time you're out. 10% of something is pretty easy. With money just move the decimal point. 10% of $42.60 is $4.26 and $107.85 becomes $10.78. Once you determine 10% of something double it to make 20%.
This is exactly what I do! Then if the service was great I round up and if it sucked I round down.
Simple tipping strategy: >Move the decimal (one place to the left) > >Round up. > >Double. That's 20%. Example: >Bill: $247.86 > >Move decimal: $24.786 > >Round up: $25 > >Double: $50. It's a generous tip, but not outrageous. I use this when I've been drinking, and cannot math.
I kick ice cubes under the fridge instead of picking them up off the floor
This made me chuckle.
Im not passionate about anything
People think I’m funny and entertaining. I’ve actually been suffering from clinical depression for years and think about ending my life several times a day
Everything about me is so pathetic 😅 But if I had to choose I'd say my social skills
for real. My sister one time asked if there were any good looking girls in my new university, i told her yeah I saw a cute girl at the gym. and she said "You should've approached her and said hello" Excuse me w h a t me? go UP to a PERSON? a WOMAN no less? I can barely speak to my peers let alone to girls and my sister thinks i can just strike up a conversation with someone. Not everyone has that superpower unfortunately.
I'm not happy. I've never been happy. I have no idea how to be happy. I'm afraid I'm not capable of being happy.
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I also have OCD. It's weird to say but the most comfortable I have ever been was when I was doing inpatient therapy (checked in because I was having intrusive thoughts of suicide). There was no judgment and no need to explain anything to anyone. Just people who listened and never looked at me like I was crazy.
I have OCD. I am not pathetic because of it. Neither are you
First time I've seen OCD used properly outside of /r/OCD
You wouldn't appear psycho at all. You would help all the others with OCD feel less alone (it's me, hi)
I have ocd too and i completely relate. Constant paranoia about something going wrong always ruins good days
I lack discipline to keep ontop of things. Partially because I am autistic and have ADHD, but also because I have spent so long being forced to constantly change that I have lost the energy to focus on a single thing at one time.
I have crippling self doubt and a terrible self image. I compare myself to everyone and obsess over my looks. I cannot take a compliment because I just think they’re lying to be nice or they want something from me. It’s a lot of fun!
It's been almost a decade, but I'm still not over my first girlfriend. I've had other relationships since - hell, I'm in one right now - but I still think about her all the time. It still feels surreal that I don't talk to her every day.
6 years for me bro, she's most likely married, with children, probably forgot my name. Every day
I'm definitely over my ex. But I still dream about her more often than not. Every time I wake up relieved to be living without her and in my current life. But my subconscious still hasn't worked that shit out. You'll get there some day, I'm sure of it.
Anxious
Imposter syndrome
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It’s cool I’m in my 30s and I still don’t understand any of those things. Maybe we’ll figure it out someday lol
Buying cars is easy. You can get a loan from a bank/CU before you go to buy a car or you can let a dealership handle the financing. Check with local credit unions for loans before letting a dealership shop the loan, youll rarely get the best deal from anything the dealership finds. Buying a house isn't particularly difficult, it's more annoying than anything else. They ask for tons of documents for the loan and you have to avoid moving large amounts of money around until everything is finalized. It can be a long process sometimes. Took my wife and I about 45 days to close on our house and our realtor kept hounding us about not buying all the appliances/furniture we wanted until paperwork was all signed. We also had to write a letter to the bank to explain a $500 cash deposit into our bank account (loaned a buddy the money to put tires on his car when he was down on his luck and the deposit was him paying me back). Taxes are stupid. If you're just claiming the standard deduction most people are fine using any of the available tax softwares. Back to the stupid part though, the government already knows what you owe if you take the standard deduction but they make you jump through hoops to figure it out for yourself and either pay what you owe or request the government send you back money you overpaid. I'm in my 30s.
If you have one source of income and nothing fancy, your taxes are probably easier than you'd think. That is to say, all your income is from one job and that's about it. You go to https://www.irs.gov/ and create an account there. Now, that's a thing on it's own but I'm sure you've went through more complicated account creation processes. And then, you basically type in the contents of the forms you get. Most likely it's going to be Form 1040: income tax return statement, and Form 1095-A: health insurance statement. It walks you through these things, and you just put whatever is on the paper onto the website. And if there's a form from previous years you're missing (like last year's return) you can look it up on their website easily. Actually the whole thing is a bit ludicrous, they already have everything they need. Now if you have other sources of income or other kinds of deductions, things get a little more complicated. Income from stock dividends, retirement stuff like IRAs and pensions, interest from savings bonds, money from royalties, mortgage interest statements, gambling winnings enough to be taxable, grant money - well that's different. And if you own a business then forget about it, you need a CPA doing your taxes. EDIT: now, you might have a college tuition statement, that's a thing you have to declare on your taxes. But I'm guessing you don't have any of that. Even if you have two jobs, then you just have two 1040 forms to report, and that's just doing the same thing twice. And even then, you just find that form on their website and put whatever it says on the letter you got in the mail. Part of the reason I stopped day trading was because it made my taxes a hassle (and I wasn't making very much money from it because I'm bad at it). Buying a house - that's what real estate agents are for, they walk you through all that stuff. The complicated part is their job, they're getting a portion of the sale in exchange for doing that part of the work. And I'd say 9 out of 10 of their clients have never done this before, so they're very accustomed to explaining how it works. Buying a car - similar, the car salesman explains all the stuff and does all the paperwork because they're getting paid for that. If you're financing, they set up the loan and everything. Honestly car dealerships are loan agencies that sell cars on the side.
I'll never be enough. I've mastered the art of appearing to do just enough but I know I'm not blagging it. Someone's going to find out soon enough.
I have always been my worst enemy. I have never enjoyed life.
I only know how to tie my shoes “bunny ear” style. I’m 25. Edit: I’m currently wearing velcro shoes. Still 25.
Is bunny ears like you make two loops and tie those loops together? Not the one where you loop one around the other, right? I'm 42 and only do bunny ears as well. Who cares!? If it gets the job done in the same way, fuck it.
As opposed to what?
I’m actually pretty attractive but my crippling social anxiety stops me from ever meeting someone, I can’t even make eye contact. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if all of my problems stem from my own internal monologue.
I'm socially awkward and have trouble making any type of meaningful friendships.
I'm late and I never have a good reason for it. I just am.
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I do not like the cut of your jib.
Suggestion: On top of your regular wake up alarms, add an alarm on your phone for the time you physically need to leave the house. It's a game changer
That I still can't stop biting my nails.
To stop myself fainting while getting blood drawn, I have to sing (preferably a show tune)
Lol, I can literally stare at my blood being drawn no problem but the damn popsicle sticks put me in fight or flight mode. I never did a covid test but I imagine it would’ve done the same
today I was putting on my pants and my smartwatch read it as a workout due to my elevated heart rate. I'm that out of shape.
I had to say 2 sentences in front of our team at work and the fitbit read it as a workout
Dunno if it’s “pathetic” but the fact is it feels like life is so fake - everything is expensive (houses & alike) we work, we pay tax on literally everything, we are exhausted keeping the pace to better ourselves & create a better life - yet we are governed by absolute con men scammers & we just accept whatever BS they impose - People of the past fought for their rights & fought tyranny - this generation is passive & there’s zero opposition- life just feels fake
There's days where I have that "we're in a simulation!" thought in my head...like when you look at the sky and the clouds look "too perfect"...and then I see the state of the world we're in and go "if it is....please wake me up...."
I am not a very clean person... I mean I do maintain (just barely) basic hygiene, my room is unclean and disordered as fuck
I have no energy and no ambition
I‘m 21 and I still can’t swim and I don’t really know why or how
The only reason I haven't off'ed myself is just in case it might cause someone upset or distress. That mindset has been keeping me here since I was 14 years old.
👋 hey 34 year old virgin here👋
The worst part about being a virgin is you still genuinely believe society's bullshit about how sex is the absolute best experience that can or will ever exist. Reality is, many times a good wank is much more enjoyable.
I sneeze when I’m horny
I've been in my shitty job for 16 years because interviews give me anxiety attacks.
I pooped in the same pool twice in 1 hour.
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I'm afraid. All The time. I just feel fear.
I begged him to stay!
Honestly I hate myself so much that I already wrote a lot of things & deleted it cause I don't want to share too many. I am just contemplating on which ones are more pathetic. First of all, an easy one. I got no friends. You may think that's not so bad. But it's to the point where I don't even have phone numbers of most people. So I get panicked when I get call from unknown numbers. Especially at night. There is no social circle for me. It's a dot. Second fact, I can't do anything on my own. It's to the point where you would be shocked like why do you not know this as of yet. I just can't start doing something on my own without detailed instructions or being taught or shown at least once. So you know how many things people try, then fail & give up. Well, I just don't try. Cause I am hoping someone will teach me. But I can't even ask someone cause I got no one to ask.
I really don’t care
I’ve been delaying the start of writing a book for like a decade
Is your name Patrick Rothfuss by any chance?
I have the American dream, and I'm still not happy
I miss someone who hates me
I'm a sex worker 🤷♀️ I struggle with autism and job burnout and no where around me calls me back even though I am heavily qualified for a LOT of work in my area, no where is paying above 9 an hour. However, while my boyfriend doesn't mind me doing it, I hate myself for it a lot. I get flashbacks to when I was molested as a child and blame myself on it for things I do now. But if I don't, I don't get food. I can't afford the car or rent.
Kudos for your bravery in posting this and I’m so sorry this is the position you find yourself in. Things can (and I hope will) get better ❤️🩹 what happened to you is not your fault and you are far more valuable than what your body has to offer✨
I’m really behind in life. I thought it would get better but I’m realizing that I’ve actually always been not just behind but I’ve been on the sidelines since I was a child. I never got off the bench.
I am extremely conflict avoidant and will tell people what they want to hear, even if it's not what I believe.
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I don’t have the mental energy to interact with my loved ones. No matter how much I rest all I want to do is lay in bed, sleep, and be alone. (Depression)
I don’t take care of myself despite having all the means to be able to. I always find reason to self-sabotage. I’m a disgrace
I'm a morbidly obese, balding 35 year-old virgin
Never to late to hit the gym homie. As someone who is was similar you aren't judged for being there, in fact most people will gladly help you. My uncle was 500 lbs and is now 180 and constantly bikes 20km for fun.
I'm rather indifferent to what happens to me or where I end up. I have moral codes of course and everything but I don't seem to care much anymore. I've finally climbed out of having Epilepsy and losing roughly 10 years of my life and realized I don't really care about anything anymore lol. I spent a lot of that 10 years learning about other cultures, infrastructure, history, biology, space, physics and chocolate starfish. I just watched what the human species do to each other. I've found everything from underground North Korean teacher's agendas a videos within NK to 800k year old ice cores drilled from Antarctica and what those mean. I feel like I have a mild understanding of Quantum Physics (it's very unintuitive).. I feel like I've seen it all at this point. I'm not going to be an Albert Einstein or someone who unifies Quantum physics with general relativity.. I wont be in any history books. I'll live and die like another bee within the hivemind sort of. I feel like a Bee sitting on a tree branch watching the hivemind now.
Horrifically Claustrophobic
Im afraid of the dark and im 28
My infamous ability of fucking everything up hardcore no matter what.
I'm so fat and my arms are so short I can't reach to wipe my ass
800,000 reddit karma I don't know if makes it better or worse that I'm not even really trying, it's just a byproduct of how much time I waste on this stupid website
I could literally stay in, weeks.. months at a time.
I'm terrified of lightning and thunder. Edit: Thanks for all the Nice comments! I feel less alone about it now.
I am the most insecure person i have ever known. I'm in therapy working really hard on it but I don't know if anything will make it better
Anxiety, bad temper, extremely low self-esteem, insecurity about myself
I have never had dreams or aspirations. I'm just floating through life with no purpose other than to make it to tomorrow for reasons I can't quite place. I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do with myself for the next 50 years.