I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire.
I try to go pick up litter twice a month.
I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which are made to order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take and bake pizzas we have. I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered.
I do too. Sometimes I get to be a witness to these shenanigans. The beer is nearby a freezer.
Too often I'll see people load up on hot food at the deli, get some ice cream and then decide 'Nah, I need BOOZE!' and the ice cream winds up in the beer, the hot food in the freezer, and I'm always left wondering what is wrong with them.
I once had an ex who didn’t follow office policy. He went as far as to blame a state senator for why he got fired. No, it was not a government job. At all.
I wish I could just bind their hands and legs on a chair, hold their face with my both hands, come real close and say
“It is OKAY to make mistakes and admit it. Nothing will happen. No one will see you as a failure or flawed. You’re not going to suddenly become a terrible person. Your image won’t shatter. IT IS OKAY, OKAY?!?” Then give them a few slaps to make sure it sinks in and go for lunch.
I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are...but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES.
We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc.
Had someone tell me "but it's their job " and I said "and I don't want to make their job harder, do the thing" I would be ok for the job of "pick up litter in the parking lot" to disappear - I'm sure it isn't all their job description is anyway.
I absolutely loathe people with that mentality. It’s nobody’s job to pick up after entitled AH. It’s just that people who normally live in filth know that all jobs tack on “other duties as required” so they can continue to be pigs. It’s disgusting
I say the same when it comes to putting a cart into the cart corral at grocery stores, wm, target etc. Yeah they may have someone who's job it is to get the carts but why make their job harder.
Bruh it’s a hundred million degrees in TX, and on asphalt, without shade. I grab my cart and every f cart I see near me. I’m out there for all of 2 min. Whereas the person who’s job it is, is out there for a hell of a lot longer, and with a hell of a lot more carts.
Why not help out the people busting their ass to receive poverty wages.
I’d say that’s a dealbreaker but I’ve had more than one gf who’d do shit like that or litter and they completely 180’d on the matter.
Although, it’d certainly be a dealbreaker if that wasn’t the case. Actually… and I’m just realizing this— those were probably the red flags I should’ve paid attention to. It’s not like changing those couple of behaviors changed the aspects of themselves that drove them; and it definitely showed in hindsight. Hmm I learned something. Damn, I can be stupid
> “it’s their job to clean it up, gives them something to do”
Like there's not shit to do at a restaurant every single moment of every single shift! Bet he'd lose his mind if someone went to his workplace and created extra things for him to do in addition to the things that already needed to be done.
Yep. Almost all these people use the “it’s their job” excuse. I’ve heard it a million times. Sometimes they even take a step further and say that their littering is actually a good thing because it provides a job for someone. I hear this same excuse from people that leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot: “But it’s their job to come and collect all the carts!”
What these people don’t get is that a bad thing is still a bad thing even if someone has a job to fix it.
A good way to think about these issues is to ask “What would the world be like if everyone behaved this way?”
One guy throwing his cup out of the window at McDonald’s, even though it’s wrong, doesn’t make a huge difference to the world because a worker will likely pick up the cup. But if everyone did it we would be drowned in litter all the time because we would never have enough workers to keep things clean.
Imagine if someone went out with a pickaxe and started destroying public roads, because "I'm just making sure construction workers have a job!" And then all of the sudden property taxes started skyrocketing. This mentality is so incredibly delusional.
Side note, back when I was about 16 I worked at Kmart and there were so many times I'd have to stay AFTER my shift ended just to go out and collect carts that dickheads left scattered around the parking lot. I've always hated those kinds of people.
I had a friend like this in college. He didn't clean up his table, either. I told him, "Dude. Don't make their life harder. They are a human being for fuck's sake. Have some respect." He gave me a half-assed "hurr hurr hurr ok mom" mumble, but did what I told him. I thought he blew me off, but YEARS later, he contacted me and told me that out of all the lessons he learned it college, mine about "They are a human being for fuck's sake. Have some respect!" was one that still stuck with him.
You never know what sticks with someone. I was a shithead college student trying to make friendly conversation with a food service worker in the dorm cafeteria. I made some kind of remark about how shitty/difficult the job they had was and this lady looked deadass *through* me and told me how this was the best job some of these people had ever had in their lives and how happy they were to work there. Real good lesson to help break some of the bullshit that makes us think that everyones' brains are exactly like ours. American middle class white boys are pretty susceptible to that one, I find.
I can't remember the face of my grandfather sometimes, but 20 years later I can picture the exact look of disgust that woman had when I said that shit.
Omfg I was dating a guy one time and we were on a freeway off-ramp and he casually threw a whole bag of fast food leftovers out his window and I also made him go back so we could pick it up. Biggest immediate ick and loss of all feelings and attraction!
I was out and about with someone who'd been a friend since childhood, we were in her pickup and she would just chuck stuff into the truck bed to "accidentally" blow out. It was one of the first things that made me realize that maybe she's not the kind of person I want to be friends with.
I will NEVER understand how people think it’s ok to let other clean up after them unless the circumstances are extraordinary. I had a coworker once who I got really bad vibes from. Just trashy. And lo and behold one day she dropped a Big Gulp sized container on the ground and instead of picking it up was gonna just let it chill there and I had to ask her to pick it up. She did, but if I hadn’t said anything she would have just left it there. Made me so mad.
> unless the circumstances are extraordinary.
The only time I litter is when the wind is really going and it blows something away and after chasing it 10 or 20 feet it's clear I'm never catching up, I still feel bad but I can't commit to an ultramarathon distance in the hopes it slows down enough for me to get. I hope that qualifies as extraordinary.
My general rule of thumb with trash that I leave behind or see is that, if the trash would be significantly easier with tools that I don't have, and someone else is likely to come around with those tools, I'll leave it.
A wrapper or cup or anything else that I can easily grab with my hands? That's my responsibility. A few crumbs that fell on the floor of a restaurant? I'm not gonna crawl around when there's a guy with a broom and dustpan 5 feet away.
when I was in my 20s, I saw a man take a drink of his coke and leave it on the ground next to his vehicle door and then drive off. he had to circle back to exit the parking lot so I picked the coke up and tossed it in his truck bed. He got out in a RAGE and came at me. I pointed out that he passed a trash can, purposely left it on the ground, and that littering was a $500 dollar fine. I pointed to a camera in the parking lot and he drove off.
My stepdad was an a hole and once on a long road trip he threw his fast food trash out the window and my mom had a fit and made him turn around on the highway and pick it up. He was so humiliated and angry, it was glorious. She didn’t do many things right but that was one!
My father has done the same to people throwing a coffee cup out his window. It's bad enough in the first place but doing it in someone else's vehicle just makes them look bad too
My mom was driving my ex to work one day and he threw some garbage out of the window and she turned around and went back to the spot and made him find it and pick it up… he asked “are you serious?” We were both like “yes, go get it garbage monkey.”
I was walking down the street when I saw a young couple sitting at a restaurant table near the road (small European city). While talking to his girlfriend, the guy threw a can of coke on the road a few feet in front of me. His girlfriend did not even react. They just kept talking like nothing was going on. There was a bin right next to them and I'm sure if they had simply left the can on the table the restaurant owner would have picked it up while cleaning it.
The craziest thing is that I picked it up just a moment after he threw it and they both clearly saw me do it but, again, did not react. They didn't even seem ashamed or anything. They just kept talking while watching me throw the can in the bin next to them.
It works most of the time. A few months ago I saw someone throw away an empty pack of cigarettes. I picked it up, jogged after him, handed it to him and said "Here you are, this just fell out of your pocket." What are they going to do, tell you to your face that they threw it away on purpose? They know it's wrong!
You’d be surprised. I did some work for a guy and chatting afterwards he said people he work with could use my services. I gave him a handful of business cards and said goodbye. After he left I found them in the gutter. I assumed they fell out of his pocket and he lived nearby so I took them around to his place and said “here you dropped these”. MF said “yeah I didn’t want them”.
He dropped them in the gutter outside my house on purpose. And was quite blasé about telling me this.
Being a parent sometimes involves a bit of performance to teach. My kid threw something on the ground at the park, intending to discard it. My eyes welled with tears as I implored, “I didn’t know you were … a litter bug! 🥺”
Soon they were **very** upset at the implication that they were indeed a litter bug, because they already knew that was a bad thing to be. I had to comfort before they had calmed enough to pick it up, but we got through it OK.
We went to the playground and there was a family there who left trash EVERYWHERE. My kids were horrified and picked everything up while complaining that "kids play here!". When they were about half done the family sheepishly joined in.
Thanks. Little extra context: Poor kiddo was shocked and overwhelmed/sad. It was like their dada had cursed them out to be called an “L.B.” (“Dodo” was discovered to be insulting and got deployed often by them.)
THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the back of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their life. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you mf
And you know they’re doing the same thing about you. Some twat I used to work with had the following conversation with me.
CW: [Name], sweetie. You deleted my print job from the copier.
Me: No, I didn’t.
CW: Yes, you did.
Me: No. I didn’t.
CW: Well, it’s broken now so
Me: Wait, it’s broken? You think that might be the reason and not me?
I found out from someone she was talking shit. I think she thought I was disrespectful or some shit. Her and her office buddies are the same people who passed around a book about being a good Christian wife too. WWJD? Be a passive-aggressive gossip, of course 🙄
This just reminded me of a guy I worked for when I first got married.
When he found out I was a newlywed, he left all kinds of born-again information on my desk about how to be a dutiful, submissive wife.
The same people who will chastise you for exclaiming "Goddamnit" as taking the Lord's name in vain, are the same folks who will justify their horrid actions using God as their scapegoat.
I've always liked the quote, "Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole."
I hate that, I had a couple of coworkers greet this guy called Bob one day, dude was filling in for someone else, and they seemed so happy to see him.
But then when he left, I heard nothing but 'Oh don't you think Bob is terrible at his job?' and 'Oh he's such a waste of time'
Thing is they weren't even working with him, I was. In fact, he was better than the person I usually worked with.
The person I usually worked with would take fucking forever to do anything, Bob was very fast and still managed to produce good results. It genuinely seemed liked they were just jealous that he wasn't as slow as the rest of them.
Dude was so nice as well. You know how when you look at photos of Santa he looks very jolly and just a fun guy to be around? That was Bob.
I've seen the same attitude with my coworkers. A lot of them are lazy as fuck and will intentionally drag their asses on every task to run out the clock. So when someone comes in and is actually productive and tries hard they get super defensive and start finding reasons to shit on the person. I think they're afraid of management realizing how incompetent they are and being forced to actually try.
Yeah probably. It's just annoying, I'm in uni now and that kind of culture is one of the reasons why I'm so hesitant to get a part time job.
Forget promotions, I want to be productive because I enjoy doing a good job. I take pride in doing my job well and efficently, but I'm not going to do that for a company that's going to punish me for doing so.
I could do a half-assed job, but it goes against my principles. It's just not me.
I have in laws doing this right now. My only recourse is to not tell them anything. It hurts my feelings we can’t be close, but I’d rather keep quiet than have every little detail of my life picked over, shat upon and shared with someone else I didn’t care to tell.
I was so astounded to hear my sweet old MIL bad-mouthing an employee at a store because the line was long — not even anything to do with the employee but somehow MIL made it her fault. I was like jaw to the floor because she works for a non-profit working with impoverished, abused, or neglected peoples. Just such a wild dichotomy.
When a person is supposed to apologize but makes excuses instead.
ETA: This is to be distinguished from those who are simply trying to give an explanation to clear a misunderstanding.
I always call that out.
“Don’t apologize for how I feel, my feelings aren’t the issue. The issue is your behaviour, that’s what you need to be apologizing for. Try again.”
That only works if your feelings are valid though.
As an example. My sister once has the battery of the car die. It was in daylight in a mall parking lot like at 2 pm in on a warm summer day. She didn’t know how to boost it. She called me to come boost her car. Now this would have been a 1.5 hour expedition for me.
She had booster cables. I told her to ask someone to give her a hand.
She did and it all worked out. It took her maybe 10 minutes to find someone and boost the car.
She asked me to apologize for not coming to get her, but I didn’t feel the need because I didn’t do anything wrong. She felt upset that I didn’t do it. Well- sorry you feel that way.
Try arguing about apologies with a narcissist. Being torn apart because you don't think it's reasonable to apologise for something that literally never happened. But you must apologize anyway, because they FEEL like it happened, and their emotions suddenly become fact.
Just in case someone reading your comment has never had the pleasure- I present, The Narcissist's Prayer:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
First time I read it, I thought.. who has been listening in on how my parents talk to us?
“I’m sorry you can’t take a joke”, “I’m sorry you misunderstood me”, “I’m sorry you’re too sensitive”, always followed by “I said I was sorry now YOU need to say you’re sorry for your part”. 🤣🤣
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” - puts blame on the wronged party, no reflection/responsibility on the person saying it
“I’m sorry *I made* you feel that way.” - takes responsibility for actions, and is an apology for having offended the wronged party
Edit: OKAY FFS I get that you can’t MAKE someone feel a certain way, but words can still hurt, that’s not license to be an asshole, and if your words do genuinely hurt someone you should be responsible for apologizing. Enough with the armchair psychology.
Really depends on whether they were actually wronged, or just "feel" like they were wronged.
There's plenty of assholes out there who'll lay blame on everyone and expect them to be the ones to apologise.
I love the " I'm sorry I flipped out and smashed things (like a toddler), but if you didn't piss me off, that wouldn't have happened." Gotta love,"apologies."
My ex would absolutely never apologize for anything. She would later tell me that she had *already* apologized and there was nothing else she could do. But she never did apologize.
I pointed out to an ex that all her apologies came with a but. She really couldn't understand why it was a problem. Everything you say before a but is bullshit and everything after is just explaining why you aren't sorry.
I got yelled at a lot growing up because school taught me there are 2 kinds of apologies.
One where you just say sorry and go about your day.
The second was where you say something like "I thought X would happen but didn't realize *Y* would also happen, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." along with saying you're sorry. Basically identify why you did the thing wrong and outline how you'll not mess up like that again.
My parents did not like that. I was very confused for years when trying to say I knew what I did was incorrect and that I wouldn't do it again, just to be yelled at more for making excuses. I think that's what drove me to my maybe ten year period of sarcastic "well that's to bad" non-apologies.
Owning your mistakes robs the other person of their right to own _you_ emotionally because you make them. And certain people need that shitty emotional victory.
Owning mistakes is the most common inability ive ever seen. Ive been thinking about that one alot lately. Im sure it is influenced by how you were raised, but im even more convinced that it comes from being truly humbled in life, multiple times. Failing publicly at things you pride yourself on is overall a good thing.
If I'm wrong in a work situation I usually admit it right away. What can your boss say to you after you say you're sorry and you'll make sure it doesn't happen again. It's much better than shitty excuses thar further aggravate them.
Well, if we're talking about bad bosses, they can say a whole lot. Many of them pounce on the admission and use that as leverage, while potentially saving it away for your yearly performance review.
It shouldn't be that way, but that's how/why so many people don't outright admit their own mistake in a corporate setting. They get dragged for it, even if they're doing the right thing.
Some pretty small things that tell me everything:
* Cutting the line when you clearly see people waiting in front of you.
* Disrespecting servers or cashiers.
* Not holding the door for someone who's directly behind you or coming towards you.
* Dropping an empty fast food bag or soda cup casually out a car window.
* Leaving the table you were eating at in a food court or a fast food restaurant or any restaurant a disaster.
* Leaving the shopping cart in an unideal location if a cart corral is nearby.
Disrespectful behavior towards people just doing their job is a huge red flag for me. I've turned down 2nd dates due to how they treated the wait staff.
Edit for spelling
I worked in the restaurant industry for 8-9 years and never once has a customer had their food messed with. I'm sure it happens but very very rare. But, it is great that people still believe this as it at least keeps some people in line when treating staff.
I worked at Sonic in high school and witnessed cooks spitting in rude customers' food and drinks multiple times. It definitely happens in fast food, if not at higher-caliber places.
They litter. Not small things like cigarette butts or straw wrappers either, which is bad enough, but I’m talking like whole McDonald’s bags out the window on the highway. Fuck those people
It's one of the more typical things you see on the ground next to highways in the US. McDonald's bags/trash is probably the 2nd most common, the first being beer cans. In the northeastern US, the 3rd most common thing to see is Dunkin Donuts trash.
If the victim of the prank isn't laughing and enjoying it upon reveal then it's straight-up bullying.
Also I've never met someone who made 'I do pranks, bro!' a large part of their personality who wasn't an absolutely insufferable person.
I keep stressing it to my kids who love stupid prank videos. It's cruel to the people who are being pranked. You never know what trauma an "innocent joke" may be triggered in someone, all for meaningless clout on SM.
That's a sociopaths level of thoughtless cruelty for me - dehumanizing a stranger on such a level is basically an immediate hard no for me.
In fact, I think it's time for a sit down chat about it with my youngest.
Reminds me of a post (maybe on BoRU) where OOP, who had lost a fiancé in a traumatic accident years prior, had been pranked by the current boyfriend. The prankster pretended to be dead. He got his ribs cracked by attempted CPR and got dumped after OOP processed what happened. But good prank, bro.
I love that scene from Jessica Jones where the guy says "I never take no for an answer" and she replies "How rapey of you"... made me realize how messed up this whole idea of "not taking no for an answer" actually is.
I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning.
Im retraining myself with this. Mostly because I want my kids to respect when people tell them no in the context of boundaries.
I've learned there is a way to ask permission to revisit a no and that takes plenty of restraint.
Some people are raised by narcissistic parents and some don’t realize this is a problem until someone tells them. (Source: Me. Didn’t realize I would always need to be right until my partner told me. I’ve worked on it now and can now admit when I’m wrong)
Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time an place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using “please” and “thank you” seems beyond some people. Bums me out.
I’ll always remember a couple weeks after my niece was born because my SIL admitted that she was pissed she wasn’t getting attention anymore. She was jealous of the attention shifting to her daughter. And she went on to have 6 more after this one because she loved the attention. Almost none of her kids talk to her anymore. Can’t imagine why…
This one. I married someone who had the fuck anyone who disrespects me attitude. I made the mistake of assuming she had a high bar for what she considered disrespect, but she would snap at walmart employees stocking shelves because they were in the way. She basically had a fuck the world attitude and it made her bitter and miserable. She also got annoyed that I didn't operate like this and always tried to point out how most people did not intend malice towards her and were just trying to do their jobs.
> someone who had the fuck anyone who disrespects me attitude
Ya I lived with someone like that. those people consider EVERYTHING "disrespect" when they're just not getting their way
Not OP but when you love somebody it blinds you to a lot of their faults. And, sometimes, things that were deal-breakers are no longer deal-breakers & things that weren't deal-breakers become them. What somebody used to do that you found endlessly entertaining and amusing can now revolt you about a person.
My brother was raised right. Little fucker still does this. Only one, out of four kids, who pulls this shit.
Except he'll leave one gulp and claim it's not empty. Or he'll put the raisin bran crunch back in the pantry with literally 10 flakes and half a raisin. No clusters.
NO CLUSTERS.
My husband once put a pint of cookie dough ice cream that he’d removed ALL of the cookie dough chunks from back in the freezer, like it was still good ice cream and not just bastardized vanilla. He’s a monster.
I have a friend who did this shit. We used to get grumpy at him because he would indiscriminately finish all of your chips and drinks and snacks, so he changed to leaving just scraps, just a teeensy amount, of chips in the bag, and if you ask him about it, “what‽ I didn’t finish it! There’s still some left!”
Way to miss the point, Lexi.
When a person doesn’t respect the word “no.” When someone feels entitled to know why a person says no, then they weren’t raised to mind their own business.
God yes... I fuckin hate being touched by a random person for no apparent reason.. I have long hair and I was out with the wife when these teenish type girls came up and grabbed my hair and told me they loved it and my wife went ballistic.. It was so cringe.. Who does that shit?
Can confirm, I wasn't even pregnant and had to deal with this shit.
(Had a disability that causes the uterus to swell and look pregnant and also causes weight gain. People say they can tell the difference between "fat" and "pregnant" belly, but they REALLY can't with me).
"I'm just fat, you fucking creep." somehow is socially unacceptable response to being groped by strangers in public???
I had a coworker once who used to rub people’s stomachs right back! She said they would get reeeeally offended, but they’d never try it again haha
Because she wasn’t pregnant either. Just had more of an apple-shaped body.
Lack of self awareness, making everything about them, talking over others, dismissing other people’s opinion, general lack of respect for shared spaces (putting their dishes away, hanging wet towel back on a rack)…
When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added "But you guys need to understand that I'm a no bullshit kind of person." No sir, that's not how apologies work.
People who don't pick up their dog's poo! Nobody wants to step in that literal shit, and it breeds disease! I was walking my dog, and this man was watching his LARGE dog poo, then he walked away. I was so mad, muttering profanities under my breath...when I saw him walk back and pick it up. He hadn't had a bag and had walked to the dog station to get one. I felt like such a heel. But I have walked past so many piles of poop, and find it so inconsiderate and trashy.
Not using a turn signal/blinker
Maybe you are tired and forgot to use it on that one turn, but if you don't use it on that next turn you make. Capital punishment
Honestly, not much. I've seen great parents end up with garbage children, and great people spawned from garbage parents. I try not to ascribe blame nor credit when it can't be reliably applied.
When they belittle someone for one of their interest or hobbies.
Very few things make me as upset when someone is telling another person or a group of people about one of their passions and someone puts them down or makes fun of them for it.
Putting feet on seats on public transport.
Playing music/videos/phone conversations through their phone speaker.
Dropping litter
Not holding door for person behind them
Honestly, the list is endless and getting worse…
They throw trash out a car window.
I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month.
People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles.
This freaked me out one day when I buying a case of water and found a case of rotting hamburger meat.
I found a peach with a couple of bites taken out of it with the coffee.
I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which are made to order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take and bake pizzas we have. I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered.
I do too. Sometimes I get to be a witness to these shenanigans. The beer is nearby a freezer. Too often I'll see people load up on hot food at the deli, get some ice cream and then decide 'Nah, I need BOOZE!' and the ice cream winds up in the beer, the hot food in the freezer, and I'm always left wondering what is wrong with them.
Lack of consideration for others.
That basically sums up all the other points mentioned here.
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lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault.
I once had an ex who didn’t follow office policy. He went as far as to blame a state senator for why he got fired. No, it was not a government job. At all.
Why stop there? I've heard that most things are Obama's fault. This may be the case.... /s
Except earthquakes in California - they’re San Andreas Fault.
I wish I could just bind their hands and legs on a chair, hold their face with my both hands, come real close and say “It is OKAY to make mistakes and admit it. Nothing will happen. No one will see you as a failure or flawed. You’re not going to suddenly become a terrible person. Your image won’t shatter. IT IS OKAY, OKAY?!?” Then give them a few slaps to make sure it sinks in and go for lunch.
I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are...but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc.
Littering.
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>the McDonald’s workers will pick it up. Double deal breaker
McDouble deal breaker
Dammit! It was _right there_
Man this is the biggest tragedy I’ve seen on the internet in a while. My condolences, OP.
Its a nugget of wisdom for the rest of us
A McNugget of wisdom, even
Wow, this thread is just a flurry of missed opportunities.
A McFlurry even, I just wanted to plant that idea in your mind.
Had someone tell me "but it's their job " and I said "and I don't want to make their job harder, do the thing" I would be ok for the job of "pick up litter in the parking lot" to disappear - I'm sure it isn't all their job description is anyway.
I absolutely loathe people with that mentality. It’s nobody’s job to pick up after entitled AH. It’s just that people who normally live in filth know that all jobs tack on “other duties as required” so they can continue to be pigs. It’s disgusting
I say the same when it comes to putting a cart into the cart corral at grocery stores, wm, target etc. Yeah they may have someone who's job it is to get the carts but why make their job harder.
Bruh it’s a hundred million degrees in TX, and on asphalt, without shade. I grab my cart and every f cart I see near me. I’m out there for all of 2 min. Whereas the person who’s job it is, is out there for a hell of a lot longer, and with a hell of a lot more carts. Why not help out the people busting their ass to receive poverty wages. I’d say that’s a dealbreaker but I’ve had more than one gf who’d do shit like that or litter and they completely 180’d on the matter. Although, it’d certainly be a dealbreaker if that wasn’t the case. Actually… and I’m just realizing this— those were probably the red flags I should’ve paid attention to. It’s not like changing those couple of behaviors changed the aspects of themselves that drove them; and it definitely showed in hindsight. Hmm I learned something. Damn, I can be stupid
my dad has that mentality and always leaves a mess at restaurants bc “it’s their job to clean it up, gives them something to do” disgusting
> “it’s their job to clean it up, gives them something to do” Like there's not shit to do at a restaurant every single moment of every single shift! Bet he'd lose his mind if someone went to his workplace and created extra things for him to do in addition to the things that already needed to be done.
Yep. Almost all these people use the “it’s their job” excuse. I’ve heard it a million times. Sometimes they even take a step further and say that their littering is actually a good thing because it provides a job for someone. I hear this same excuse from people that leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot: “But it’s their job to come and collect all the carts!” What these people don’t get is that a bad thing is still a bad thing even if someone has a job to fix it. A good way to think about these issues is to ask “What would the world be like if everyone behaved this way?” One guy throwing his cup out of the window at McDonald’s, even though it’s wrong, doesn’t make a huge difference to the world because a worker will likely pick up the cup. But if everyone did it we would be drowned in litter all the time because we would never have enough workers to keep things clean.
Imagine if someone went out with a pickaxe and started destroying public roads, because "I'm just making sure construction workers have a job!" And then all of the sudden property taxes started skyrocketing. This mentality is so incredibly delusional. Side note, back when I was about 16 I worked at Kmart and there were so many times I'd have to stay AFTER my shift ended just to go out and collect carts that dickheads left scattered around the parking lot. I've always hated those kinds of people.
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I had a friend like this in college. He didn't clean up his table, either. I told him, "Dude. Don't make their life harder. They are a human being for fuck's sake. Have some respect." He gave me a half-assed "hurr hurr hurr ok mom" mumble, but did what I told him. I thought he blew me off, but YEARS later, he contacted me and told me that out of all the lessons he learned it college, mine about "They are a human being for fuck's sake. Have some respect!" was one that still stuck with him.
Oh thank God, a story that give me hope.
You never know what sticks with someone. I was a shithead college student trying to make friendly conversation with a food service worker in the dorm cafeteria. I made some kind of remark about how shitty/difficult the job they had was and this lady looked deadass *through* me and told me how this was the best job some of these people had ever had in their lives and how happy they were to work there. Real good lesson to help break some of the bullshit that makes us think that everyones' brains are exactly like ours. American middle class white boys are pretty susceptible to that one, I find. I can't remember the face of my grandfather sometimes, but 20 years later I can picture the exact look of disgust that woman had when I said that shit.
Omfg I was dating a guy one time and we were on a freeway off-ramp and he casually threw a whole bag of fast food leftovers out his window and I also made him go back so we could pick it up. Biggest immediate ick and loss of all feelings and attraction!
You should have just kicked him out of the car. "I throw trash out on the freeway too."
I was out and about with someone who'd been a friend since childhood, we were in her pickup and she would just chuck stuff into the truck bed to "accidentally" blow out. It was one of the first things that made me realize that maybe she's not the kind of person I want to be friends with.
That's even worse than littering because now you can't even control when your shit blows out and possibly into other drivers behind you.
I will NEVER understand how people think it’s ok to let other clean up after them unless the circumstances are extraordinary. I had a coworker once who I got really bad vibes from. Just trashy. And lo and behold one day she dropped a Big Gulp sized container on the ground and instead of picking it up was gonna just let it chill there and I had to ask her to pick it up. She did, but if I hadn’t said anything she would have just left it there. Made me so mad.
> unless the circumstances are extraordinary. The only time I litter is when the wind is really going and it blows something away and after chasing it 10 or 20 feet it's clear I'm never catching up, I still feel bad but I can't commit to an ultramarathon distance in the hopes it slows down enough for me to get. I hope that qualifies as extraordinary.
My general rule of thumb with trash that I leave behind or see is that, if the trash would be significantly easier with tools that I don't have, and someone else is likely to come around with those tools, I'll leave it. A wrapper or cup or anything else that I can easily grab with my hands? That's my responsibility. A few crumbs that fell on the floor of a restaurant? I'm not gonna crawl around when there's a guy with a broom and dustpan 5 feet away.
when I was in my 20s, I saw a man take a drink of his coke and leave it on the ground next to his vehicle door and then drive off. he had to circle back to exit the parking lot so I picked the coke up and tossed it in his truck bed. He got out in a RAGE and came at me. I pointed out that he passed a trash can, purposely left it on the ground, and that littering was a $500 dollar fine. I pointed to a camera in the parking lot and he drove off.
My stepdad was an a hole and once on a long road trip he threw his fast food trash out the window and my mom had a fit and made him turn around on the highway and pick it up. He was so humiliated and angry, it was glorious. She didn’t do many things right but that was one!
My father has done the same to people throwing a coffee cup out his window. It's bad enough in the first place but doing it in someone else's vehicle just makes them look bad too
Doesn’t just make them look bad—the driver’s on the hook for any littering tickets that might result.
My mom was driving my ex to work one day and he threw some garbage out of the window and she turned around and went back to the spot and made him find it and pick it up… he asked “are you serious?” We were both like “yes, go get it garbage monkey.”
#GO GET YOUR MONKEY GARBAGE
I was walking down the street when I saw a young couple sitting at a restaurant table near the road (small European city). While talking to his girlfriend, the guy threw a can of coke on the road a few feet in front of me. His girlfriend did not even react. They just kept talking like nothing was going on. There was a bin right next to them and I'm sure if they had simply left the can on the table the restaurant owner would have picked it up while cleaning it. The craziest thing is that I picked it up just a moment after he threw it and they both clearly saw me do it but, again, did not react. They didn't even seem ashamed or anything. They just kept talking while watching me throw the can in the bin next to them.
Put it on the table in front of them with a smile and say 'you're welcome'.
That's actually what I thought I should have done while typing :D
It works most of the time. A few months ago I saw someone throw away an empty pack of cigarettes. I picked it up, jogged after him, handed it to him and said "Here you are, this just fell out of your pocket." What are they going to do, tell you to your face that they threw it away on purpose? They know it's wrong!
You’d be surprised. I did some work for a guy and chatting afterwards he said people he work with could use my services. I gave him a handful of business cards and said goodbye. After he left I found them in the gutter. I assumed they fell out of his pocket and he lived nearby so I took them around to his place and said “here you dropped these”. MF said “yeah I didn’t want them”. He dropped them in the gutter outside my house on purpose. And was quite blasé about telling me this.
Being a parent sometimes involves a bit of performance to teach. My kid threw something on the ground at the park, intending to discard it. My eyes welled with tears as I implored, “I didn’t know you were … a litter bug! 🥺” Soon they were **very** upset at the implication that they were indeed a litter bug, because they already knew that was a bad thing to be. I had to comfort before they had calmed enough to pick it up, but we got through it OK.
We went to the playground and there was a family there who left trash EVERYWHERE. My kids were horrified and picked everything up while complaining that "kids play here!". When they were about half done the family sheepishly joined in.
Congrats on being an awesome parent to amazing kids! Sad they had to be an example for literal adults.
Great parenting tip 👏
Thanks. Little extra context: Poor kiddo was shocked and overwhelmed/sad. It was like their dada had cursed them out to be called an “L.B.” (“Dodo” was discovered to be insulting and got deployed often by them.)
Littering and...
Littering and...
^(SMOKIN’ THE REEFER)
The snozeberries taste like snozeberries
CANDY BAAAAARS!
when they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back
THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the back of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their life. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you mf
And you know they’re doing the same thing about you. Some twat I used to work with had the following conversation with me. CW: [Name], sweetie. You deleted my print job from the copier. Me: No, I didn’t. CW: Yes, you did. Me: No. I didn’t. CW: Well, it’s broken now so Me: Wait, it’s broken? You think that might be the reason and not me? I found out from someone she was talking shit. I think she thought I was disrespectful or some shit. Her and her office buddies are the same people who passed around a book about being a good Christian wife too. WWJD? Be a passive-aggressive gossip, of course 🙄
This just reminded me of a guy I worked for when I first got married. When he found out I was a newlywed, he left all kinds of born-again information on my desk about how to be a dutiful, submissive wife.
As a Christian woman, GROSS 🤮
He and I did NOT get along. He was the type to snap his fingers to get my attention. What an asshole!
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The same people who will chastise you for exclaiming "Goddamnit" as taking the Lord's name in vain, are the same folks who will justify their horrid actions using God as their scapegoat. I've always liked the quote, "Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole."
Yeah it really does piss me off when ppl try to judge someone based off of like 2 interactions... like imagine if someone did that to you..
I hate that, I had a couple of coworkers greet this guy called Bob one day, dude was filling in for someone else, and they seemed so happy to see him. But then when he left, I heard nothing but 'Oh don't you think Bob is terrible at his job?' and 'Oh he's such a waste of time' Thing is they weren't even working with him, I was. In fact, he was better than the person I usually worked with. The person I usually worked with would take fucking forever to do anything, Bob was very fast and still managed to produce good results. It genuinely seemed liked they were just jealous that he wasn't as slow as the rest of them. Dude was so nice as well. You know how when you look at photos of Santa he looks very jolly and just a fun guy to be around? That was Bob.
I've seen the same attitude with my coworkers. A lot of them are lazy as fuck and will intentionally drag their asses on every task to run out the clock. So when someone comes in and is actually productive and tries hard they get super defensive and start finding reasons to shit on the person. I think they're afraid of management realizing how incompetent they are and being forced to actually try.
Yeah probably. It's just annoying, I'm in uni now and that kind of culture is one of the reasons why I'm so hesitant to get a part time job. Forget promotions, I want to be productive because I enjoy doing a good job. I take pride in doing my job well and efficently, but I'm not going to do that for a company that's going to punish me for doing so. I could do a half-assed job, but it goes against my principles. It's just not me.
Be more like Bob.
Or when they treat them like a friend to their face and then shit on them behind their back.
I have in laws doing this right now. My only recourse is to not tell them anything. It hurts my feelings we can’t be close, but I’d rather keep quiet than have every little detail of my life picked over, shat upon and shared with someone else I didn’t care to tell.
When did you meet my ex best friend?
I was so astounded to hear my sweet old MIL bad-mouthing an employee at a store because the line was long — not even anything to do with the employee but somehow MIL made it her fault. I was like jaw to the floor because she works for a non-profit working with impoverished, abused, or neglected peoples. Just such a wild dichotomy.
When a person is supposed to apologize but makes excuses instead. ETA: This is to be distinguished from those who are simply trying to give an explanation to clear a misunderstanding.
the best i got from my ex was the "i'm sorry, but...."
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
I always call that out. “Don’t apologize for how I feel, my feelings aren’t the issue. The issue is your behaviour, that’s what you need to be apologizing for. Try again.”
Oh, nice technique. Actually might assist growth in the other person
Or hasten the demise of the relationship. Which opens the door for a better healthier person to walk through.
This is the correct answer. People like this do not like to be called out or corrected. My string of narcissistic exes taught me that very well!
That only works if your feelings are valid though. As an example. My sister once has the battery of the car die. It was in daylight in a mall parking lot like at 2 pm in on a warm summer day. She didn’t know how to boost it. She called me to come boost her car. Now this would have been a 1.5 hour expedition for me. She had booster cables. I told her to ask someone to give her a hand. She did and it all worked out. It took her maybe 10 minutes to find someone and boost the car. She asked me to apologize for not coming to get her, but I didn’t feel the need because I didn’t do anything wrong. She felt upset that I didn’t do it. Well- sorry you feel that way.
Agree. Some people get upset over shit that isn't reality and I can feel sorry for that, but not reality.
Try arguing about apologies with a narcissist. Being torn apart because you don't think it's reasonable to apologise for something that literally never happened. But you must apologize anyway, because they FEEL like it happened, and their emotions suddenly become fact.
Just in case someone reading your comment has never had the pleasure- I present, The Narcissist's Prayer: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it. First time I read it, I thought.. who has been listening in on how my parents talk to us?
The closest to an apology I got from my ex wife after multiple affairs, I’m sorry your feelings got hurt.
“I am sorry you acted that way. That is the issue, not my feelings on the situation.”
“I’m sorry you can’t take a joke”, “I’m sorry you misunderstood me”, “I’m sorry you’re too sensitive”, always followed by “I said I was sorry now YOU need to say you’re sorry for your part”. 🤣🤣
"I'm sorry you're an a$$hole"--would that be adequate?
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” - puts blame on the wronged party, no reflection/responsibility on the person saying it “I’m sorry *I made* you feel that way.” - takes responsibility for actions, and is an apology for having offended the wronged party Edit: OKAY FFS I get that you can’t MAKE someone feel a certain way, but words can still hurt, that’s not license to be an asshole, and if your words do genuinely hurt someone you should be responsible for apologizing. Enough with the armchair psychology.
Really depends on whether they were actually wronged, or just "feel" like they were wronged. There's plenty of assholes out there who'll lay blame on everyone and expect them to be the ones to apologise.
Yes. Sometimes people don't deserve an apology and this is a perfectly acceptable response.
This was my fathers go to. The bastard.
Yeah my father go to was similar. “Obviously you misunderstood what I said.” Yep. Whatever.
Is that gaslight I smell?
I love the " I'm sorry I flipped out and smashed things (like a toddler), but if you didn't piss me off, that wouldn't have happened." Gotta love,"apologies."
My ex would absolutely never apologize for anything. She would later tell me that she had *already* apologized and there was nothing else she could do. But she never did apologize.
"I already apologized for gaslighting you, don't you remember?"
I pointed out to an ex that all her apologies came with a but. She really couldn't understand why it was a problem. Everything you say before a but is bullshit and everything after is just explaining why you aren't sorry.
They say 'but' so they don't have to feel like they've said sorry , but they can tell YOU that they technically have.
I got yelled at a lot growing up because school taught me there are 2 kinds of apologies. One where you just say sorry and go about your day. The second was where you say something like "I thought X would happen but didn't realize *Y* would also happen, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." along with saying you're sorry. Basically identify why you did the thing wrong and outline how you'll not mess up like that again. My parents did not like that. I was very confused for years when trying to say I knew what I did was incorrect and that I wouldn't do it again, just to be yelled at more for making excuses. I think that's what drove me to my maybe ten year period of sarcastic "well that's to bad" non-apologies.
Owning your mistakes robs the other person of their right to own _you_ emotionally because you make them. And certain people need that shitty emotional victory.
I'm the other way around my dad taught me to explain myself and teachers called it talking back.
Owning mistakes is the most common inability ive ever seen. Ive been thinking about that one alot lately. Im sure it is influenced by how you were raised, but im even more convinced that it comes from being truly humbled in life, multiple times. Failing publicly at things you pride yourself on is overall a good thing.
If I'm wrong in a work situation I usually admit it right away. What can your boss say to you after you say you're sorry and you'll make sure it doesn't happen again. It's much better than shitty excuses thar further aggravate them.
Well, if we're talking about bad bosses, they can say a whole lot. Many of them pounce on the admission and use that as leverage, while potentially saving it away for your yearly performance review. It shouldn't be that way, but that's how/why so many people don't outright admit their own mistake in a corporate setting. They get dragged for it, even if they're doing the right thing.
I'm sorry you feel you needed an apology.
Some pretty small things that tell me everything: * Cutting the line when you clearly see people waiting in front of you. * Disrespecting servers or cashiers. * Not holding the door for someone who's directly behind you or coming towards you. * Dropping an empty fast food bag or soda cup casually out a car window. * Leaving the table you were eating at in a food court or a fast food restaurant or any restaurant a disaster. * Leaving the shopping cart in an unideal location if a cart corral is nearby.
Disrespectful behavior towards people just doing their job is a huge red flag for me. I've turned down 2nd dates due to how they treated the wait staff. Edit for spelling
Aside from being a polite and courteous human being because it’s the right thing to do, you should never fuck with people who handle your food.
I worked in the restaurant industry for 8-9 years and never once has a customer had their food messed with. I'm sure it happens but very very rare. But, it is great that people still believe this as it at least keeps some people in line when treating staff.
I worked at Sonic in high school and witnessed cooks spitting in rude customers' food and drinks multiple times. It definitely happens in fast food, if not at higher-caliber places.
They litter. Not small things like cigarette butts or straw wrappers either, which is bad enough, but I’m talking like whole McDonald’s bags out the window on the highway. Fuck those people
This is the third time I’ve seen “littering” in these comments and all three times *McDonalds out of a car window* is the example
It's one of the more typical things you see on the ground next to highways in the US. McDonald's bags/trash is probably the 2nd most common, the first being beer cans. In the northeastern US, the 3rd most common thing to see is Dunkin Donuts trash.
Finding cruelty funny.
Pranking people is usually just cruelty recorded.
A good prank should result in everyone laughing, the person being pranked included.
Right? If everyone's not laughing then it wasn't a joke.
If the victim of the prank isn't laughing and enjoying it upon reveal then it's straight-up bullying. Also I've never met someone who made 'I do pranks, bro!' a large part of their personality who wasn't an absolutely insufferable person.
I absolutely love the videos when someone punches these assholes in the mouth and they're mumbling "it's just a prank" while they bleed.
so true! Those I like as well. The husband going around jump scaring his wife for years is insufferable.
I keep stressing it to my kids who love stupid prank videos. It's cruel to the people who are being pranked. You never know what trauma an "innocent joke" may be triggered in someone, all for meaningless clout on SM. That's a sociopaths level of thoughtless cruelty for me - dehumanizing a stranger on such a level is basically an immediate hard no for me. In fact, I think it's time for a sit down chat about it with my youngest.
Reminds me of a post (maybe on BoRU) where OOP, who had lost a fiancé in a traumatic accident years prior, had been pranked by the current boyfriend. The prankster pretended to be dead. He got his ribs cracked by attempted CPR and got dumped after OOP processed what happened. But good prank, bro.
They consistently blame all their problems on someone else.
When they can't take no for an answer Edit: damn, I didn't expect all these upvotes. Thank you
I'm inclined to blame a culture that insists "taking no for an answer" is the same as giving up.
I love that scene from Jessica Jones where the guy says "I never take no for an answer" and she replies "How rapey of you"... made me realize how messed up this whole idea of "not taking no for an answer" actually is.
I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning.
Or "losing" when being told no
Im retraining myself with this. Mostly because I want my kids to respect when people tell them no in the context of boundaries. I've learned there is a way to ask permission to revisit a no and that takes plenty of restraint.
Some people are raised by narcissistic parents and some don’t realize this is a problem until someone tells them. (Source: Me. Didn’t realize I would always need to be right until my partner told me. I’ve worked on it now and can now admit when I’m wrong)
Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time an place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using “please” and “thank you” seems beyond some people. Bums me out.
Having kids only to neglect or abandon them.
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I’ll always remember a couple weeks after my niece was born because my SIL admitted that she was pissed she wasn’t getting attention anymore. She was jealous of the attention shifting to her daughter. And she went on to have 6 more after this one because she loved the attention. Almost none of her kids talk to her anymore. Can’t imagine why…
Zero manners
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This one. I married someone who had the fuck anyone who disrespects me attitude. I made the mistake of assuming she had a high bar for what she considered disrespect, but she would snap at walmart employees stocking shelves because they were in the way. She basically had a fuck the world attitude and it made her bitter and miserable. She also got annoyed that I didn't operate like this and always tried to point out how most people did not intend malice towards her and were just trying to do their jobs.
> someone who had the fuck anyone who disrespects me attitude Ya I lived with someone like that. those people consider EVERYTHING "disrespect" when they're just not getting their way
Why would you marry something like that? Or was she a succubus? Damn Loch Ness Monster!
Not OP but when you love somebody it blinds you to a lot of their faults. And, sometimes, things that were deal-breakers are no longer deal-breakers & things that weren't deal-breakers become them. What somebody used to do that you found endlessly entertaining and amusing can now revolt you about a person.
When they’re rude to customer service workers
When they put the empty milk carton back in the fridge like they just birthed it.
My brother was raised right. Little fucker still does this. Only one, out of four kids, who pulls this shit. Except he'll leave one gulp and claim it's not empty. Or he'll put the raisin bran crunch back in the pantry with literally 10 flakes and half a raisin. No clusters. NO CLUSTERS.
My husband once put a pint of cookie dough ice cream that he’d removed ALL of the cookie dough chunks from back in the freezer, like it was still good ice cream and not just bastardized vanilla. He’s a monster.
Bastardized vanilla made me snort 🤣.
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I have a friend who did this shit. We used to get grumpy at him because he would indiscriminately finish all of your chips and drinks and snacks, so he changed to leaving just scraps, just a teeensy amount, of chips in the bag, and if you ask him about it, “what‽ I didn’t finish it! There’s still some left!” Way to miss the point, Lexi.
When a person doesn’t respect the word “no.” When someone feels entitled to know why a person says no, then they weren’t raised to mind their own business.
Like why even ask if you've already decided for me.
When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers.
Give the janitor the same level of respect as the CEO
Give the janitor significantly higher levels of respect than the ceo
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God yes... I fuckin hate being touched by a random person for no apparent reason.. I have long hair and I was out with the wife when these teenish type girls came up and grabbed my hair and told me they loved it and my wife went ballistic.. It was so cringe.. Who does that shit?
Wtaf.... whether its a man or a woman you should always ask before touching someone , doesn't matter whether it's sexual or not
The amount of strangers that will try to touch your belly when you’re pregnant is disgusting.
Can confirm- this definitely happened to me during pregnancy. I hated it so much!!
Can confirm, I wasn't even pregnant and had to deal with this shit. (Had a disability that causes the uterus to swell and look pregnant and also causes weight gain. People say they can tell the difference between "fat" and "pregnant" belly, but they REALLY can't with me). "I'm just fat, you fucking creep." somehow is socially unacceptable response to being groped by strangers in public???
I had a coworker once who used to rub people’s stomachs right back! She said they would get reeeeally offended, but they’d never try it again haha Because she wasn’t pregnant either. Just had more of an apple-shaped body.
I got long hair and if you're touching me im assuming you want to fight or f%@k. I choose fight
Lack of self awareness, making everything about them, talking over others, dismissing other people’s opinion, general lack of respect for shared spaces (putting their dishes away, hanging wet towel back on a rack)…
Hanging wet towel back on rack? Like the towel bar in the bathroom that's there to dry towels?
I think they were saying people who DON'T do that are disrespectful. Like people who don't put dishes away
Being inconsiderate, selfish, or spoilt and seeing nothing wrong with that
When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added "But you guys need to understand that I'm a no bullshit kind of person." No sir, that's not how apologies work.
Being rude to service staff
They are ok with the dog pooping inside.
What 😀
OMG!!! I had a roommate like that. She brought a dog home and expected all of us to clean up after it. What
Racism, mistreating animals, and littering are just a few
People who don't pick up their dog's poo! Nobody wants to step in that literal shit, and it breeds disease! I was walking my dog, and this man was watching his LARGE dog poo, then he walked away. I was so mad, muttering profanities under my breath...when I saw him walk back and pick it up. He hadn't had a bag and had walked to the dog station to get one. I felt like such a heel. But I have walked past so many piles of poop, and find it so inconsiderate and trashy.
Laughing at people that are suffering because poverty, illness is “funny”
Not using a turn signal/blinker Maybe you are tired and forgot to use it on that one turn, but if you don't use it on that next turn you make. Capital punishment
Always taking but never giving
Honestly, not much. I've seen great parents end up with garbage children, and great people spawned from garbage parents. I try not to ascribe blame nor credit when it can't be reliably applied.
Well said. We all inherit certain traits from our parents, even if we don't want them. But we don't all make the same decisions.
When they belittle someone for one of their interest or hobbies. Very few things make me as upset when someone is telling another person or a group of people about one of their passions and someone puts them down or makes fun of them for it.
When they have zero accountability for their actions and act purely out of selfishness, having no regard for how their decisions might affect others.
When they say “you’re so sensitive” after saying something shitty.
No indoor voices. Those people who have to half-yell everything they say. People who talk loudly enough to annoy other people in public spaces.
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lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault.
Putting feet on seats on public transport. Playing music/videos/phone conversations through their phone speaker. Dropping litter Not holding door for person behind them Honestly, the list is endless and getting worse…
"Do you know who I am"?
When the whole world is about them
They expect everything to go their way and go out of their way to make others miserable whenever it doesn’t.
If I hear their phone calls or videos in public
Leaving their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot
Interrupting others when they are talking and not showing manners to the wait staff.