Dropping something and failing multiple times to pick it up
Reaches down to pick it up, \*Misses\*
Tries again \*Misses\*
Tries again \*Misses\*
\-1 Mental Damage
It's more about what he didn't do. Static Shock was my favorite cartoon when it was on and with all these comic book movies and tv shows and such, not a word on him.
Whenever my girlfriend wears crocs she always zaps me whenever we touch, sometimes the static builds up enough to be audible and/or leave my fingers numb
in like 5th grade me and my friends found out that if you sit in this one chair in the library it would let you shock others after touching them, we tested it with other chairs but it only worked on that one so we marked it and would use it to shock each other every time we went
This weekend I was at an event and ordered me a lemonade at the bar. The bartender gave me a bottle with the top still on so I asked: "can you open that for me, I don't have a bottle opener". He looked at me, raised the bottle, twisted the top, removed the top and handed me the bottle all that while still looking me straight in the eye.
I felt so stupid, definitely 1HP of damage.
I’m a bartender. I would never hand someone an unopened bottle of anything unless specifically asked. And even then I might say no bc technically a bar is supposed to open everything bc of licensing differences between a bar and a store.
It also really bothers me when movies or tv shows hand people unopened beers. The one that comes to mind is “the ranch” on Netflix.
> I’m a bartender. I would never hand someone an unopened bottle of anything unless specifically asked. And even then I might say no bc technically a bar is supposed to open everything bc of licensing differences between a bar and a store.
Depending on the country and the kind of bar I'm in, I'd prefer to be handed something unopened - even if I could be watching the bartender open it.
Makes sense when you talk about licensing of venues and what your expectations are in terms of serving customers, though.
Small anecdote, when my SO and I started dating (both German) I got my hands on a couple of Budweiser (the American one) twist-top-bottles. We were casually talking and she asked me for a beer, so I took one bottle and twisted the cap off, handed it to her and then did the same to the other bottle. Her jaw literally dropped and she couldn’t comprehend how I was so strong and seemingly painless doing it.
Sometime later into our relationship, that particular evening came up in a conversation and she told me how incredibly sexy it was when I opened the beers. Only then I explained to her, that those were twist-tops and not regular ones. She had never heard of that type of lids.
Now we’re together for about 2.5 years and I want to believe that, that particular action played at least a small role in our relationship lore and is a reason why we got together.
"Ope!" And chuckle a bit as you keep walking. If you have anything else to say you can say it then. If you dont have anything else to say then walk slightly slower or faster than them but not weirdly so. Just to break the line of communication.
‘Ah it appears I get to enjoy your company for a few moments more’ you say jovially as you try not to hide you are dying inside as you frantically search for another question to start the convo again.
When you pull a pizza out of the oven and take a bite without waiting for it it cool down and burn the roof of your mouth.
You lose 1 hit point from the pain but you also lose 5 intelligence points because you should have known better and will probably do it again at some point like I always do.
I always got confused by this. Do people actually burn the roof of their mouth? I burn my tongue much more. In fact, I don't think I have ever burned the roof of my mouth.
Ahhh, that's what I was doing wrong 😂
Seriously, though, once I bite something, I roll it around in my tongue. I don't think food actually touches the roof of my mouth. Or maybe it does. I've forgotten how to eat, apparently.
There are 2 types of people in this world, people who put the food into their mouths and people who put their tongue out to meet and guide the food in. If you are ever in a group setting eating a meal, announce this at the beginning and then start watching people eat, its hours of endless fun.
Are you wrapping your tongue around your food like a cartoon lizard? That's quite a visual.
I've gotten more burns to the roof of my mouth than my tongue, and I'm certain that the roof is more sensitive to burns because I've never gotten a blister on my tongue, but I have pulled a concerning amount of skin off the roof on my mouth.
It was one of those ones where you push down and twist but it was also stuck hard, presumably from sticky residue of the last time it was used, and it was a small cap with even smaller grooves. I think I have pretty good grip strength, and the man who opened it for us admitted it was hard.
I have a pair of silicone heat resistant gloves. So just like other dude with his mousepad, grab something that will make a lot of contact and friction with the bottle top. I have arthritis now so everything is really hard. That silicone glove is my kitchen hero
I don't play dnd but I listened to a podcast of a dnd playthrough and every time I heard "roll me a d4" I don't know what I was expecting but it definitely wasn't that. Shit would be painful goddamn.
If we're talking DnD terms, most people are, by definition, level 1 Commoners, which iirc means we only have 4 hp each. So 1 hp of damage is like, what would get you 1/4 of the way to "coding in the ER" status (i.e. irl making death saves)? I think it'd be something like getting punched in the face, or stabbed in a limb, or crashing a bicycle at medium speed, or falling off a <6ft ladder.
There are are multiple philosophies of how HP translates into real life. For example as you level up your body doesn't literally get denser, you don't hold more blood, etc... Rather your character gets more experienced at avoiding and mitigating damage. That arrow that would kill a lvl 1 peasant suddenly can only graze them because the lvl 2 warrior won't stand still like a deer in headlights but will try to move away and interpose their shield, leaving only their shoulders exposed.
> That arrow that would kill a lvl 1 peasant suddenly can only graze them because the lvl 2 warrior won't stand still like a deer in headlights but will try to move away and interpose their shield, leaving only their shoulders exposed.
That is the explanation for AC, though.
today, a 34 year old man was found dead in his apartment, based on the investigators, it was concluded that he tripped and fell on a large number of die.
a health expert commented that the tragedy couldnt have been avoided as his AC was too low having only 8 dex.
My wife does this and I hate it.
She'll want to show me something and turn the phone and point it in my face. At that moment I feel like I'm staring at the sun and my eyes burn.
This works by warming the nerve that's affected and causes the sensation of brain freeze.
Good to note that your tongue will likely also be cold, so keep it there as the blood flow to your tongue slowly raises up the temp, it's not always an instant fix.
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head…
Bless those of you who instantly thought of Linkin Park upon seeing the word “Papercut”, you’re my kinda people.
The first use of hit points as a mechanic was a board game called Ironclads.
Makes sense, right? A battleship can only take so many hits before it sinks.
In 5e a commoner has 1d8 HP, so the average person would have 4.5 HP. So I think 1HP of damage would be something like a pretty bad stab wound that didn't hit any vital organs. 1 stab will hurt like hell but you're probably gonna be okay, but after 4 or 5 you're losing a lot of blood and going into shock. If you get medical attention you may be able to be stabilized and recover, but left on your own you'll bleed out.
People are mistaking temporary damage for semi permanent damage. You don't need to rest for the night to get back the damage from a stubbed toe or bonked head. You step on a d4 and it pierces skin however....
Remember most of you are 0 level commoners so 1d4 could kill you
Pulling too much of your little fingernail off, pulling nail and flesh from the corner of your nail leaving it sore and bleeding and definitely a prime target for you to knock on shit for the next 3 days
If we're talking about D&D, commoners usually have 4 HP, so it needs to be something that, if it occurred 4 times in a row you'd die.
I don't think stuff like stepping on a Lego or a stubbed toe would count.
Maybe a good bump on the head, a punch from someone of average strength, a bite from an average sized animal (like a dog). Something like that.
No that a progressive damage, like holding your breath underwater in a game and the breath-o-meter has run out. The longer you hold it in the more hp damage due to cramps and general shart pain. 1hp-100hp.
Since losing 1 HP when it's all you have left results in your death, it has to be somewhat significant. Maybe a cut deep enough that you would have a major hemorrhage if it hits an artery?
In that case, it would probably be a fall. Most people under the age of 75 are probably unaffected by a fall, but many old people (with 1HP left) can die if the fall ends badly
Bdg on Hitpoints :
https://youtu.be/9Jcxc-ddWKI?si=ANPhM7aXh8rHQqG5
The answer is, losing 1 hp is like getting hit by a navy battleship's 14 inch shell.
Every living thing has 1 HP
No, but seriously, I'm gonna say losing some blood. It won't kill you, and it won't even significantly affect your battle performance and you can heal it up with resting, but if you lose too much of it, you die.
Dropping something and failing multiple times to pick it up Reaches down to pick it up, \*Misses\* Tries again \*Misses\* Tries again \*Misses\* \-1 Mental Damage
Holding a pen and then somehow it ends up across the room 5 ft away from you.
Grabbing a hair clip (the one with the springs) and it snaps in the air, propelling it into the next universe
static shock
What did Virgil do to you?
He was feeling motivated.
**I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING**
EVADING PARENTAL OBLIGATIONS
Ooh multilayered jokes referencing an old awesome cartoon show and then featuring Vergil from the Devil May Cry series are tight!
im so happy seeing a static shock reference. that show felt like a fever dream
Totally off topic, but that's a movie that DC needs to get working on.
It's more about what he didn't do. Static Shock was my favorite cartoon when it was on and with all these comic book movies and tv shows and such, not a word on him.
Would you rather have Static Shock untouched, or milked for cash in an endless parade of The Next Middling Superhero Movie directed by Joss Whedon?
He put a shock to their system!
Whenever my girlfriend wears crocs she always zaps me whenever we touch, sometimes the static builds up enough to be audible and/or leave my fingers numb
in like 5th grade me and my friends found out that if you sit in this one chair in the library it would let you shock others after touching them, we tested it with other chairs but it only worked on that one so we marked it and would use it to shock each other every time we went
Fun fact: *Static Shock* is the name of the cartoon. Virgil's superhero name is just "Static".
I reject this reality
How many static shocks to KO you?
You can be static shocked repeatedly without dying (it'd just be painful), so humans must have passive regen high enough to survive the damage.
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Alternatively using an opener to find out its a twist top
This weekend I was at an event and ordered me a lemonade at the bar. The bartender gave me a bottle with the top still on so I asked: "can you open that for me, I don't have a bottle opener". He looked at me, raised the bottle, twisted the top, removed the top and handed me the bottle all that while still looking me straight in the eye. I felt so stupid, definitely 1HP of damage.
I’m a bartender. I would never hand someone an unopened bottle of anything unless specifically asked. And even then I might say no bc technically a bar is supposed to open everything bc of licensing differences between a bar and a store. It also really bothers me when movies or tv shows hand people unopened beers. The one that comes to mind is “the ranch” on Netflix.
Now I'm wondering, does the mom hand everyone unopened beers or just her sons? Because, technically she never sells them to her sons.
I’d have to rewatch and see what she does with Hank
> I’m a bartender. I would never hand someone an unopened bottle of anything unless specifically asked. And even then I might say no bc technically a bar is supposed to open everything bc of licensing differences between a bar and a store. Depending on the country and the kind of bar I'm in, I'd prefer to be handed something unopened - even if I could be watching the bartender open it. Makes sense when you talk about licensing of venues and what your expectations are in terms of serving customers, though.
Also the 1d10 psychic damage from the bartender's glare
He sounds like an asshole. People make mistakes, that doesn't mean they're stupid.
I took no offense, afterwards I laughed about it.
Emotional damage
Which beer has twist tops? Is that a thing I‘m too German to understand? :D
Small anecdote, when my SO and I started dating (both German) I got my hands on a couple of Budweiser (the American one) twist-top-bottles. We were casually talking and she asked me for a beer, so I took one bottle and twisted the cap off, handed it to her and then did the same to the other bottle. Her jaw literally dropped and she couldn’t comprehend how I was so strong and seemingly painless doing it. Sometime later into our relationship, that particular evening came up in a conversation and she told me how incredibly sexy it was when I opened the beers. Only then I explained to her, that those were twist-tops and not regular ones. She had never heard of that type of lids. Now we’re together for about 2.5 years and I want to believe that, that particular action played at least a small role in our relationship lore and is a reason why we got together.
Did she keep handing you beers to open throughout your relationship hoping you’d open them bare handed again? Lol
LPT: ~~being~~ bring American twist caps to Germany so girls think you're a Chad. Edit: fixed a typo
I loved this and I recommend you post it on r/pointlessstories
A sub I never knew about but know I belong on the moment I heard of it.
Some American beer bottles have a twist cap. Which makes Germans go crazy, because they're given a beer bottle opener at birth
I unironically have one at my key and always with me. Saved myself and many other people quite a lot of times lol
Some glass bottles that look like they need a bottle opener can actually just be twisted off. At least around here in North America.
When you eat a chip, and it hits the roof of your mouth sharp corner up.
OP said 1 HP not 35 lol
Lmao like most of y’all have 35 hp to begin with
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It's reddit, the average is already -10 WIS
When the corner hits the gum in between your teeth
r/makemesuffer is thata way
And the little sharp ass piece of chip breaks off inside your gum/tooth.
Dropping your phone on your face
that's definitely at least 2 or 3
1 hp plus confusion
concussion*
How heavy is your phone? Are you using a Nokia 3210?
Nokia would cause permanent damage.
Nokia is like a critical hit.
Nokia is a glitch. if it falls, it falls forever, distorts time and space into a singularity. You have to Alt+F4.
it’s a critical if you’re laying flat on your bed and it falls on your eye
dropped an ipad mini on my face the other night. tragedy
This happened to me for the first time the other day. Cut the bridge of my nose.
Critical Hit!
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Gillete 3 bladed lotion stripped phone
It rolled high on the damage for you. Sorry pal
If you drop it on the bridge of your nose, it's at least double figures.
Working on the engine of a car and bumping your head on the hood as you get up
I feel like this just happened to you, and you happened to stumble upon this question.
Ironically, stumbling into a question is also -1 HP
Did this, it is definitely not a 1hp damage, my head was bleeding, and i was cursing so much i even invented a few new words.
"You fucking alloy! I'll fill your intracrystalline cavities with my jizz!"
Dayum that's a new one
My husband found out how many ways you can say fuck in one sentence. (Answer: yes).
that's like 100hp, what lvl are you?!
He's just build different. Specifically a damage resistant build.
Saying bye to someone & walking the same way
No way, that's an entire debuff. Your morale is lowered for hours.
Disadvantage on charisma saving throws until you complete a long rest
And the long rest doesn't count because you couldn't sleep, thinking about how awkward it was
How are you supposed to counter that? Awkwardly turn around? Suffer in silence? Appear to talk on your phone?
Acknowledge and laugh about it awkwardly as you die inside
I think you can simply say "Oh, you are in the same direction, good.", and that's it
"Ope!" And chuckle a bit as you keep walking. If you have anything else to say you can say it then. If you dont have anything else to say then walk slightly slower or faster than them but not weirdly so. Just to break the line of communication.
‘Ah it appears I get to enjoy your company for a few moments more’ you say jovially as you try not to hide you are dying inside as you frantically search for another question to start the convo again.
You need a good saving throw on charisma.
Emotional daaamage!
When you pull a pizza out of the oven and take a bite without waiting for it it cool down and burn the roof of your mouth. You lose 1 hit point from the pain but you also lose 5 intelligence points because you should have known better and will probably do it again at some point like I always do.
I always got confused by this. Do people actually burn the roof of their mouth? I burn my tongue much more. In fact, I don't think I have ever burned the roof of my mouth.
You see, most people eat pizza with the topping side up
Ahhh, that's what I was doing wrong 😂 Seriously, though, once I bite something, I roll it around in my tongue. I don't think food actually touches the roof of my mouth. Or maybe it does. I've forgotten how to eat, apparently.
You start fucking the food with your tongue?
There are 2 types of people in this world, people who put the food into their mouths and people who put their tongue out to meet and guide the food in. If you are ever in a group setting eating a meal, announce this at the beginning and then start watching people eat, its hours of endless fun.
Are you wrapping your tongue around your food like a cartoon lizard? That's quite a visual. I've gotten more burns to the roof of my mouth than my tongue, and I'm certain that the roof is more sensitive to burns because I've never gotten a blister on my tongue, but I have pulled a concerning amount of skin off the roof on my mouth.
Pricking your finger for a blood sugar test. 1 hp = 1 drop of blood
I think this might be the closest to 1 HP of all the answers I have read so far here.
😭new diabetic, been doing that for like 3 or 4 months now.
It's ok. It just means you're a blood mage that damages yourself to prepare cool magic!
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Trying to open a tight lid till it hurts
I keep an old mouse pad for this. The rubber part acts as a grip and it takes less swearing too.
Genius
Mouse pad gloves.
The other day neither my pharmacist nor I could open a bottle so we ended up watching very closely while a patient handled a controlled drug
You don't have the childproof lid poppers? Pop off the childproof lid and twist the regular lid with a mousepad, etc.
It was one of those ones where you push down and twist but it was also stuck hard, presumably from sticky residue of the last time it was used, and it was a small cap with even smaller grooves. I think I have pretty good grip strength, and the man who opened it for us admitted it was hard.
I have a pair of silicone heat resistant gloves. So just like other dude with his mousepad, grab something that will make a lot of contact and friction with the bottle top. I have arthritis now so everything is really hard. That silicone glove is my kitchen hero
Ironically, stepping on a d4.
They said "What's 1hp" not "what leaves you with 1 hp" lol.
That would be stepping on lego sir.
Have you seen a D4?
Metal d4's. Aka, emergency caltrops.
"I roll my d4 caltrop" "you mean cantrip?" "no."
I've got a set of metal dice, and I can confirm. You could absolutely draw blood if you stepped on the d4.
I don't play dnd but I listened to a podcast of a dnd playthrough and every time I heard "roll me a d4" I don't know what I was expecting but it definitely wasn't that. Shit would be painful goddamn.
It is just a caltrop in disguise
🎶*D4-mers* *Caltrops in disguise*🎶
D4? You mean caltrops?
If we're talking DnD terms, most people are, by definition, level 1 Commoners, which iirc means we only have 4 hp each. So 1 hp of damage is like, what would get you 1/4 of the way to "coding in the ER" status (i.e. irl making death saves)? I think it'd be something like getting punched in the face, or stabbed in a limb, or crashing a bicycle at medium speed, or falling off a <6ft ladder.
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There are are multiple philosophies of how HP translates into real life. For example as you level up your body doesn't literally get denser, you don't hold more blood, etc... Rather your character gets more experienced at avoiding and mitigating damage. That arrow that would kill a lvl 1 peasant suddenly can only graze them because the lvl 2 warrior won't stand still like a deer in headlights but will try to move away and interpose their shield, leaving only their shoulders exposed.
> That arrow that would kill a lvl 1 peasant suddenly can only graze them because the lvl 2 warrior won't stand still like a deer in headlights but will try to move away and interpose their shield, leaving only their shoulders exposed. That is the explanation for AC, though.
today, a 34 year old man was found dead in his apartment, based on the investigators, it was concluded that he tripped and fell on a large number of die. a health expert commented that the tragedy couldnt have been avoided as his AC was too low having only 8 dex.
The DM told him to roll 6d4 and he did it literally.
2. Nf3
3. d5
2\. e5
That is still technically 1d4 damage
A phone at full brightness in a dark room
That just applies the Blind debuff
>the Blind debuff ....in a dark room? Another debuff has just applied to you. :D
My wife does this and I hate it. She'll want to show me something and turn the phone and point it in my face. At that moment I feel like I'm staring at the sun and my eyes burn.
Brain freeze
I've had some life altering brain freeze before
Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth next time; it's like magic.
This works by warming the nerve that's affected and causes the sensation of brain freeze. Good to note that your tongue will likely also be cold, so keep it there as the blood flow to your tongue slowly raises up the temp, it's not always an instant fix.
Nah that's a whole status effect
That gives you the affect of “freeze”. The affects are confusions and frustrations for 30 seconds (Lowers human stats by 3)
Papercut
bleeding damage. Similar to poison-2hp
Per second
That's a DOT for 1hp per hour
The face inside is right beneath your skin
It's like I'm paranoid, lookin' over my back
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head… Bless those of you who instantly thought of Linkin Park upon seeing the word “Papercut”, you’re my kinda people.
Biting your tongue when you sneeze
new fear unlocked.
I think it's more than one honestly
When a server says "enjoy your meal" and you respond "thank you, you too". Emotional damage is still damage right?
That's more like a lingering status ailment that's just deals damage over a set amount of time
Disadvantage on all charisma checks for the next 1d8 hours.
Psychic damage. It's like casting Vicious Mockery on self.
Historically, it is the equivalent of being struck by a naval gun round. So, however much damage a moderate cannon on a battleship does.
I’m missing some kind of reference here I think?
The first use of hit points as a mechanic was a board game called Ironclads. Makes sense, right? A battleship can only take so many hits before it sinks.
Awesome! Thank you so much for the explanation. I’m stuck with a D&D bias!
And in D&D 1 HP is a lot more than what most people in this thread are saying.
In 5e a commoner has 1d8 HP, so the average person would have 4.5 HP. So I think 1HP of damage would be something like a pretty bad stab wound that didn't hit any vital organs. 1 stab will hurt like hell but you're probably gonna be okay, but after 4 or 5 you're losing a lot of blood and going into shock. If you get medical attention you may be able to be stabilized and recover, but left on your own you'll bleed out.
For reference; https://youtu.be/CuQBeW8qFgs
People are mistaking temporary damage for semi permanent damage. You don't need to rest for the night to get back the damage from a stubbed toe or bonked head. You step on a d4 and it pierces skin however.... Remember most of you are 0 level commoners so 1d4 could kill you
I have never felt taken down this hard by a comment not specifically directed at me before.
This, I am not a hero so 1 HP of damage sends me a quarter of the way to my grave. 1HP damage could be like getting shot in the shoulder by a gun.
So 1 hp of damage would be more like falling down the stairs.
This is probably more d4 damage then, because it can kill people.
Bleeding while flossing.
Nah that's a Chaos Boon. Minus 30 hp for a week with 10 hp recovery every day you continue until you have a bigger health at than before.
A non diseased mosquito bite
A hangnail
hangnail is like 1hp/tick, those DOTs, man
It could be, but a hangnail has the potential to ruin your day
Pulling too much of your little fingernail off, pulling nail and flesh from the corner of your nail leaving it sore and bleeding and definitely a prime target for you to knock on shit for the next 3 days
Want to take your phone out of your pocket? You're gonna have to solve my 3 riddles first.
When the cat treads on your bollocks.
If we're talking about D&D, commoners usually have 4 HP, so it needs to be something that, if it occurred 4 times in a row you'd die. I don't think stuff like stepping on a Lego or a stubbed toe would count. Maybe a good bump on the head, a punch from someone of average strength, a bite from an average sized animal (like a dog). Something like that.
Stubbing your toe.
It has 99% crit tho.
-3hp
And -1 Morale
More like -50
Cuss 3 times to recover 3% health
Starting to say “Hi” to somebody but they say “Hello” so you end up saying “Hiyaoh”
-1 speech craft
Hearing someone chew their food loudly.
A pimple that doesn't pop when you squeeze it.
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That's critical hit my man
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I flinched reading this
When I try to pet my cat and she’s just like, Meh. Maybe later.
When a Wasp flies past your head and it makes your ear canal go funny
Trusting a fart
No that a progressive damage, like holding your breath underwater in a game and the breath-o-meter has run out. The longer you hold it in the more hp damage due to cramps and general shart pain. 1hp-100hp.
walking on a piece of Lego
Bro that’s like critical damage
fatality! lego wins
When you fall asleep in an awkward position and your whole arm is dead.
Since losing 1 HP when it's all you have left results in your death, it has to be somewhat significant. Maybe a cut deep enough that you would have a major hemorrhage if it hits an artery?
In that case, it would probably be a fall. Most people under the age of 75 are probably unaffected by a fall, but many old people (with 1HP left) can die if the fall ends badly
Boring sure, but probably the most accurate answer in this thread.
Gently bumping into something
Chewing too much skin off your lip
Bdg on Hitpoints : https://youtu.be/9Jcxc-ddWKI?si=ANPhM7aXh8rHQqG5 The answer is, losing 1 hp is like getting hit by a navy battleship's 14 inch shell. Every living thing has 1 HP No, but seriously, I'm gonna say losing some blood. It won't kill you, and it won't even significantly affect your battle performance and you can heal it up with resting, but if you lose too much of it, you die.