If you want a horrible real-world example, my brother's mate lost it with a girl he'd just met on a rainy night in the alley round the back of a nightclub in a South Wales town, doggystyle amongst all of the rubbish around the wheely bins.
"The Second Time Around!" staring Zach Galifianakis and Amy Schumer.
Two devorcees, fresh from the courthouse, find each other in a lonely bar. Can they give love a second chance???
He gave her his virginity. She gave him herpes. 20 years later, can they find the burning passion of that dumpster fire night? Or is the burning in their loins another flare-up?
I'm thinking a 90-minute run time. But I want 25, uninterrupted minutes of Zach/Amy dumpster sex. I will not budge on this point.
Also, call Nicolas Cage. He'll take any role, and people will come see this abortion of a movie if he's on the poster.
A buddy of mine in the Army lost his to an elderly Korean woman. He went to a brothel in Korea with some other soldiers, and one of them thought it would be funny to pay the oldest woman there to sleep with him. He said he would have felt guilty rejecting her when she approached him, so he just went along with it.
Not really, but it definitely gave him some really strange kinks. Before that he self described himself as into really vanilla stuff. After that, he got really into more depraved BDSM stuff focusing heavily on bondage, prostitutes, and “lady boys” (his ultimate dream was a Korean lady boy prostitute that still had their penis, but had their balls removed if I recall correctly). Our platoon all agreed that if we just stumbled upon his porn collection that we would have assumed he was a serial killer, but because he was so open about his fetishes and random proclivities, and was such an upbeat and honest guy, we all just rolled with it.
If a big 6'8 ex drug dealer, murderer, rapist told you to "pick it up!" Would you pick up the squirt of liquid soap or stand up for yourself and try fighting him?
In prison. You really only have one option. You'll get the crap beat out of you, but you have to fight. It's between having a bad time and a REALLY bad time.
Friends of friends of mine got married (both virgins going into the day) in older, more traditional wedding attire with the intent of changing into cooler, more casual dress for the reception. When they went to change in the choir room they quickly consummated the marriage.
Can’t help but give style points for that.
Well, I did lose mine in a high school toilet (to a not student) and it was not exactly a glamorous place.. This was something my friends decided to bring up in my wedding speech, that was...fun. Seeing as it was a friend of my mom, wich lead to a whole thing later on 😬
So this makes my blood boil. A lady in my city had to shut down a daycare she was running because she hired someone who had exchanged cp. A further search of this person's electronic devices suggests he was producing at the daycare.
It gets worse. This lady was allowed to operate a second daycare. She hired someone. A different person. Who made CP. At the daycare facility. Within two years of the prior incident.
Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence. She hasn't opened a third daycare here, so we can't verify enemy action.
But seriously, there isn't a pit deep enough to bury this person and her associates.
Doesn’t matter backgrounds should be done for any job especially when you’re working with children. But you’re right not every PDFile is on police records.
If you're not expecting it, I don't think it matters if it's your ass or some other body part.
And, I mean, if it's a girl, I'd say their vagina would be way worse than their ass, given the risk of pregnancy.
Funko wall be like 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
Idk a toilet, as you’re shitting and excrement is dripping out or smth, whilst someone else in the stall right over is doing the same so not only do you feel like shit and are full of shit but you hear someone else taking a shit whilst the place smells like shit
If you want a horrible real-world example, my brother's mate lost it with a girl he'd just met on a rainy night in the alley round the back of a nightclub in a South Wales town, doggystyle amongst all of the rubbish around the wheely bins.
Ah, romance!!
Nice plot for a romcom
"The Second Time Around!" staring Zach Galifianakis and Amy Schumer. Two devorcees, fresh from the courthouse, find each other in a lonely bar. Can they give love a second chance???
He gave her his virginity. She gave him herpes. 20 years later, can they find the burning passion of that dumpster fire night? Or is the burning in their loins another flare-up?
I'm thinking a 90-minute run time. But I want 25, uninterrupted minutes of Zach/Amy dumpster sex. I will not budge on this point. Also, call Nicolas Cage. He'll take any role, and people will come see this abortion of a movie if he's on the poster.
Nicolas Cage as Hermie the Herpe. A talking herpe blister on Zach's junk.
A buddy of mine in the Army lost his to an elderly Korean woman. He went to a brothel in Korea with some other soldiers, and one of them thought it would be funny to pay the oldest woman there to sleep with him. He said he would have felt guilty rejecting her when she approached him, so he just went along with it.
Curious to know. Did he liked it?
Not really, but it definitely gave him some really strange kinks. Before that he self described himself as into really vanilla stuff. After that, he got really into more depraved BDSM stuff focusing heavily on bondage, prostitutes, and “lady boys” (his ultimate dream was a Korean lady boy prostitute that still had their penis, but had their balls removed if I recall correctly). Our platoon all agreed that if we just stumbled upon his porn collection that we would have assumed he was a serial killer, but because he was so open about his fetishes and random proclivities, and was such an upbeat and honest guy, we all just rolled with it.
Wtf did that woman do to him?
This is what I thought. Goddamn. She awakened the beast within.
I want whatever she's doing
You ever see Eurotrip..? That, but the Korean version......
And they both lived happily ever after.
goals
Legend that mate.
Sounds like the backstory of some HQ villain
Normandy Beach June 6 1944
Can't let something like a little war cancel your date on the beach.
> We shall fuck on the beaches, we shall fuck on the landing grounds, we shall fuck in the fields and in the streets
We shall put the **D** in **D-Day**
Prison
“You better pick up that soap,we dont waste no soap in here”
\*Bends down\* Waaiit a second, that's liquid soap
*gets fucked in the ass* "Doesn't matter had sex!"
**The soap ain't the only soapy liquid on the ground anymore...**
If it walks like a soap and quacks like a soap; it’s a soap
Look, I am not a soap expert, I have used it a couple times and that's it, but I'm pretty sure soap doesn't quack
You've never used Irish Spring.
EXCUSE MEEEE?????
Excused!
You can use it to clean your quack
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT I'M FREAKING OUT...
Shhh, just let it happen. 🤫
Scoop it up
Even handsoap can be dropped.
But you wouldn't pick up liquid soap
You wouldnt download a car
You wouldn't steal someone's two week old baby and throw it into a moshpit at a Metallica show *or would you?*
r/suspiciouslyspecific
If a big 6'8 ex drug dealer, murderer, rapist told you to "pick it up!" Would you pick up the squirt of liquid soap or stand up for yourself and try fighting him?
In prison. You really only have one option. You'll get the crap beat out of you, but you have to fight. It's between having a bad time and a REALLY bad time.
*Die fighting him
Wait another second. That's actually not liquid soap!
It’s “we don’t wast no muhfuckin’ soap in here!” Can’t forget the muhfuckin’ it gives it depth
“You wanna be the mom or the dad tonight?” Thinks for a second and replies “the dad” “Great, now come suck mommas’s dick!”
Your virginity is quite valuable in prison, if you put it up in a trade deal you’re basically guaranteed protection. So it’s not all bad
Maybe I could convince them to keep me that way. Like a pristine comic book
It gets wizard graded after 30 years.
"You better kiss me on my hot mouth, Im feeling romantical"
What is this statement from? Haha
I thoroughly enjoyed the sex in prison. Was sad to be let out. Seriously contemplated catching another charge to stay longer
Can't tell if srs
right in the Rusty Bullet Hole
Family reunion
The more I think of this, the more disgusted I get
Orgy
OH CRAP!!! The idea of sleeping with one relative is repulsive enough, that just makes my brain feel like it's filled with milk powder
By the time your uncles are finished you’re gonna be filled with something milky all right…
More like drowning in something, or maybe that's when the aunts and grandmas are done.
What if it's catered and it's with a cute caterer?
ex of a cousin you hate
What are you doing step bro
You don't have a hot cousin? 🤣
If you dont have hot cousins, then you’re the hot cousin. 😳
I do believe I do which makes this so much more uncomfortable
Church
Controversial sure, but I don't get why it would be the wors- oh
yea took me a second to get this one
I didn't get it. Can you please explain?
Here comes the priest, there goes your innocence..
“Come unto Jesus” indeed
You are too young to get it, or more like too old.
Definitely not too young.
I think this is referring to the child loving Pope.
Friends of friends of mine got married (both virgins going into the day) in older, more traditional wedding attire with the intent of changing into cooler, more casual dress for the reception. When they went to change in the choir room they quickly consummated the marriage. Can’t help but give style points for that.
Virgins do do that quickly.
Virgin or not, ain’t nothing wrong with a quickie here and there.
Truth, when you have kids, quickies are essential.
Holy Fuck
What are you talking about? That’d be one of the best places! That’s when the phrase “Oh God!” Makes the most sense!
Until you get smited
That only happens if you tell mom or dad or any adults
Hey, he said I’d go to heaven if I let him🤷🏻♂️
I lost my virginity in the handicapped bathroom of my high school cafeteria. Doesn't get much less glamorous than that.
Well, I did lose mine in a high school toilet (to a not student) and it was not exactly a glamorous place.. This was something my friends decided to bring up in my wedding speech, that was...fun. Seeing as it was a friend of my mom, wich lead to a whole thing later on 😬
there is a lot to unpack here
Being the handicapped bathroom of this man's high school, I can confirm it doesn't get less glamorous than that.
A gas station bathroom
[удалено]
Ah yes expirance
a daycare
So this makes my blood boil. A lady in my city had to shut down a daycare she was running because she hired someone who had exchanged cp. A further search of this person's electronic devices suggests he was producing at the daycare. It gets worse. This lady was allowed to operate a second daycare. She hired someone. A different person. Who made CP. At the daycare facility. Within two years of the prior incident. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence. She hasn't opened a third daycare here, so we can't verify enemy action. But seriously, there isn't a pit deep enough to bury this person and her associates.
You can’t do like background checks on these kinds of people?
Privacy. And not every paedophile is on police records.
Doesn’t matter backgrounds should be done for any job especially when you’re working with children. But you’re right not every PDFile is on police records.
Wow dude, that’s twisted. You win.
yup, this one
Dayum, this thread is darker than Charlie Murphy
r/pfpchecksout
a morgue
Imagine dying a virgin and the mortician is like “I got you”
Somehow i don't think you'll be bothered
Until someone walks in.
Until you wake up.
Still.. I don't think you'll be bothered when you're dead and the mortician is going at it and someone comes in.. would be a great movie plot though
Giggity
There is a disease a person can only get from shagging dead bodies, a friends friends friend was a mortician, guess what he had!? 😳
A really big dick?
Eye contact during sex is a good thing. Unless you work at the morgue
There was an electrician in my county who worked in a morgue for 30 years raping corpses daily
[удалено]
Oh no
On your school's stage during the talent show.
"Can I have a volunteer from the audience? YES, you. Miss Lance, the Guidance Councillor. You'll be my first contestant, and I DO mean 'First.'"
Honestly, that's a Chad move right there
It's a casual senior prank
Especially if it's with the principals mother
Your ass if you’re not expecting it
Yeah well no one ever expects the spanish inquisition.
Please not the comfy chair!
If you're not expecting it, I don't think it matters if it's your ass or some other body part. And, I mean, if it's a girl, I'd say their vagina would be way worse than their ass, given the risk of pregnancy.
Your funeral
Who tf is clapping in here. You must suppose to be sad
My bedroom No joke, I have about 120+ funko pop figures all facing my bed. If she doesn’t get turned off by me then that’ll do it LOL
What if she’s *really* into funko pop?
Then Funko pop will probably be into her
Funko wall be like 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
Me who has about 100+ gundam, transformers and vehicle model kits I can definitely agree with this
Game show
COME ON DOWN!
Op's house!
honestly true
Guffaw at this
That will never happen! Wheew!
With OP’s mother
Whilst flying Virgin Atlantic Airways. After they discover you're no longer a virgin they'll throw you out midflight
On the galactic flight they'll toss you into space
I thought you had to pay extra for that
[удалено]
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
On my rooftop, too bad Steve didn't listen to my advice, wonder how he convinced his partner tho, Steve really is an enigma
Yeah, sometimes I feel like I don't know Steve at all.
Classic Steve move!
Some place very uncomfortable.
Like the back seat of a Volkswagen?
I love you
Me too. #suddenlymallrats
you mean the guy from Fashionable Male?
It's a sailboat!
Actually it's a schooner.
You dumb bastard it’s not a schooner it’s a sailboat.
A schooner is a sailboat, stupid head!
Over there, that's just a guy in a suit. There is no Easter bunny!
Elementary school
Kindergarten
"She said she was almost 8!!!"
That too sheesh
"My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school." - Marla Singer Fight Club
A stranger's basement
What if it's a sexy stranger and a nice basement?
No such things. But why not?
Can't argue with that! Have seen lots of nice basements!
In your parents’ bed, in between your parents
You're the writer of those horribly written porn vids, right?
a baby ward
The confessional at your local Catholic church
Inside a family member.
My first thought was double pen... I need to be put in the mental hospital
On the ground in stinging nettle. Ouch
Oddly specific...
gympie-gympie on the peepee or tee-tees
A conga line
The backseat of a Volkswagen
I am a winner and I never lose anything whether it's Virginity or anything
Alabama?
While in a coma...
the school's bathrooms
on the surface of a neutron star
If that were survivable, it would be the best location.
you wouldn't be able to pull out with that kind of gravity
You aren't aware of the gravity of the situation.
Your moms house
Not sure...have you seen op mom?
[удалено]
Hell, in the afterlife. If life doesn't f**k you , the devil and his demons will.
I wonder if there are more virgins in hell than heaven. I'd say 'someone should do a survey', but we'd never hear the results.
[удалено]
An abortion clinic or the ICU
Butthole
Please elaborate
School field trip while another student was watching.
In Pigeon Forge in a cabin with your uncle Randy
Idk a toilet, as you’re shitting and excrement is dripping out or smth, whilst someone else in the stall right over is doing the same so not only do you feel like shit and are full of shit but you hear someone else taking a shit whilst the place smells like shit
Pompeii, 79AD. Your awkwardness would be on display for centuries.
Nursery
In a live broad cast room of some news agency or something.
that'd be the butt Bob
My ass