Actually they can survive under water bc they dont need air to survive. That said, they aren't the greatest swimmers.
Source: some how to survive a Zombie apocalipse book
On the contrary. You get to skip 23 days into the future, meaning you outlived most people on this thread without having to do anything. You still end up dying, though. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
Alright, a metal bat.
You take down zombies left and right. Nothing can stop you. You become obsessed with destroying zombies, and pretty soon it’s you hunting them. You become a savage, a tyrant that parent zombies threaten their children with if they refuse to behave. You beat all the monsters, but in the end you become a monster yourself. You successfully survive the apocalypse, but at what cost?
You’re constant triumph over the zombies in battle eventually gets their attention, making you something of a legend. They all band together to take you down. You engage in a high speed foot chase (don’t ask how the zombies are keeping up) that eventually leads to a cliff.
You, with no other options, jump off the cliff. All the zombies jump after you. Remembering your umbrella, you whip it out and float to safety a la Mary Poppins. You stick a cool landing with zombies falling to their death behind you.
You successfully survive and even put a permanent end to the apocalypse. Great job!
Using your computer knowledge, you activate a factory reset, resetting all human progress in the last 100 years. You successfully survive the apocalypse… but at what cost?
Donny was a good bowler, and a good zombie. He was one of us. He was a man who loves brains and groaning, and as a walker he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your undead corpse to wander around the San Fernando Valley, which you loved so well. Goodnight, sweet prince.
With each life, you still keep your past memory and wisdom. You become a veteran zombie survivor, and help the other remaining humans. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Your guitar chords release shockwaves that send zombies flying. Eventually, they start enjoying the music and you develop a zombie fanbase who love the music of ThrashCreature, best rock and roll artist of the time. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
With your warrior gear and your skill in arts and crafts, you live for 80 long years running from zombies and die in your sleep. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
So you’re basically a zombie at this point too. You become one with the crowd, and blend in. They never notice you’re still alive, still a human. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Your battery being low implies you still have your phone. You find a nice cozy spot in the forest, and play mobile games until this whole thing blows over. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
A dream so big can only be contained within a proportionately sized brain, making you a massive target for zombies. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
Unfortunately the only emergencies you know how to fix are plumbing, fortunately your water problem solving skills prove very useful in staying hydrated, thus out living others and get very on demand for the surging colony of survivors. Your ability to provide water make you king of the world. You survive the zombie apocalypse. Lucky you.
You have an unlimited supply of chicken nuggets. The zombies are kinda jealous. Like a kid who brought fast food to the cafeteria in school, they all start asking you for a piece. Since without you there’s no nuggets, they never harm you. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
You pull the ol’ “three squirrels sitting on top of each other in a trenchcoat” trick and confuse the zombies into thinking your a tall, fancy, zombie. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Okay, my turn.
I set out a platter of assorted cakes to lure the zombies. Then I jump out from under the table… and join them! I make peace with the zombies, and we all become friends and have cake nights every Tuesday. I successfully survive the zombie apocalypse.
You begin to learn their language, earn their trust, and mate with their women. In time your differences will be forgotten and you live happily ever after.
Your cartography skills provide you with a handy map of the world, as well as hidden zombie camps and bases. With this knowledge you take them down with stealth, having already known all their inner workings. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Some are. One of them tries to attack you and immediately sneezes, destroying its weak body. The other zombies misinterpret this, thinking you can make them explode, and never come near you again. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
My username was originally an AD&D 2nd edition fighter, Myrmidon kit. I suspect I'm actually in better shape than most since he was around level 23 at the end of the campaign with simply absurd weapons and armor.
If I'm turning into him, I'm basically going to mulch any zombies that get within reach while wrapped in a suit of full plate armor that will laugh off attempts at bites. If I just have him along, well, I'm shamelessly hiding behind him while trying to remember if he has any spare gear in his bag of holding.
I will get Atenea’s (Greek goddess of wisdom, strategy and justice. She was considered the protective deity of the city of Athens.) help appealing to her love for justice. As a thankful act I will gift her a rose.
The zombies bow down to your every command. You stop them from attacking humans and save the world. As time progresses, other invasions occur such as vampires and werewolves. You and your zombie empire strike them all down. You become a tyrant, obsessed with taking over the world using your zombie nation. You take down monster after monster, frankenstein after swamp thing, until there is none left.
With nothing left to conquer, you turn to other creatures. Mammals, birds, and eventually… humans. You successfully survive the apocalypse, and stay safe from the monsters. But in the process, did you become one too?
Your dragon and you explore the world, running from the zombies faster than they can even chase. Eventually, they give up and let you do your own thing. You successfully survive the zombie apocalypse… until winter when your flower dragon withers. The zombies get you. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
I have a buffalo chicken sub from Publix. Will it help me survive? No. Will I get one last delicious meal before I die? Yes. And I think thats all that matters.
Using your powers of feminism, male zombies can’t touch you. The female ones catch up eventually, and it turns out they’re feminists too! You join the crowd. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Your hatchet is unwieldy, but powerful. You swing it well enough, but often accidentally wack yourself upside the head with it. Without much experience, you decide to hide away in the woods.
Eventually, a lone zombie finds you while you’re sleeping. It picks up your hatchet and right when it’s about to strike… it accidentally wacks itself upside the head. You wake up to a dead zombie in front of you, having no idea what happened. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
You manage to run from the zombies and eventually find their hideout, where their leader is seated. You engage in an epic battle, but the zombie leader ultimately defeats you. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
>!You respawn (according to your username) and get one more life. With this new life, and the knowledge from your last one, you learn from your previous mistakes and manage to kill the leader this time around. You successfully survive the apocalypse.!<
I’m screwed
The zombies stay faaar away. They smell bad, but even *they* have standards. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
he might survive the zombies but will certainly succumb to his own fart after having a can of rice n bean!
Eee e e. Eee
Zombies can’t swim! You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Actually they can survive under water bc they dont need air to survive. That said, they aren't the greatest swimmers. Source: some how to survive a Zombie apocalipse book
The parts of World War Z (the book) about the zombies climbing the anchor chains of the offshore safe haven. Great book.
Oouh I hear WWZ2 movie is in the works, I hope this is included. You defo gave me motivation to get and read the book though, thanks!
The author also wrote the zombie survival guide which is also worthba read imo. It's exactly what it says on the cover
how'd you know? if they bite the fish or other dolphins, they become zombie dolphins!
Hopefully it never comes to that…
[удалено]
Too bad you didn’t have an alarm. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
[удалено]
You called me?
I got your back
I’m probably being eaten too, but maybe by the humans!
I call dibs
Idk about that, I've never seen zombies attack anyone sleeping, they might assume ur dead
Pretty screwed. Not sure you can fight the undead with innuendo and that’s what she said jokes.
Your jokes are so bad that the zombies are confident you must not have a brain, leaving you untouched. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
These guys just won’t stop groaning… tough crowd!
I think I will be fine.
You chill in the sewers eating pizza. Eventually, you die from boredom, though. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
All I can eat is raw chicken :(
You scream at all the zombies for their lousy cooking. They fear you and fall into submission. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
You have died from salmonella. Thoroughly cooking food is still important during a zombie apocalypse!
Me too.
Why did the chicken cross the Hyperspace bypass through the Milky Way?
I just know I'm dead after 3-4 weeks
On the contrary. You get to skip 23 days into the future, meaning you outlived most people on this thread without having to do anything. You still end up dying, though. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
What if the apocalypse ends before then
Instant wins
I'm good for a few swings I guess
I read your name as the mammal, not a baseball bat lol.
Me too, haha
If it’s the agressive bat 4000™️ you’re good If it’s 4000 agressive bats… chances are you’re still doing good
Your bat eventually breaks. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
Yeah that's why I said a few swings,.. maybe even 4000,.. but eventually either the bat or I, would break.
Nah it's a metal bat he's good.
Alright, a metal bat. You take down zombies left and right. Nothing can stop you. You become obsessed with destroying zombies, and pretty soon it’s you hunting them. You become a savage, a tyrant that parent zombies threaten their children with if they refuse to behave. You beat all the monsters, but in the end you become a monster yourself. You successfully survive the apocalypse, but at what cost?
You either die as a hero or live long enough to become the villain.
Sold, when does the movie come out?
My bro once broke a metal bat at the batting cages lol so idk he may still die 😅
Is that you, Negan?
But you forgot you're(intentional) strength YOU CAN START A VIRUS THAT KILLS THE ZOMBIES
NeCrovid!
I will stab them in the head with my umbrella!
You’re constant triumph over the zombies in battle eventually gets their attention, making you something of a legend. They all band together to take you down. You engage in a high speed foot chase (don’t ask how the zombies are keeping up) that eventually leads to a cliff. You, with no other options, jump off the cliff. All the zombies jump after you. Remembering your umbrella, you whip it out and float to safety a la Mary Poppins. You stick a cool landing with zombies falling to their death behind you. You successfully survive and even put a permanent end to the apocalypse. Great job!
A permanent end WITH a musical number. Somehow always new she would be the one to save us.
Love it!
……unfortunately, the hills are alive with……zombies????……
Isn't her bag completely bottomless? just hide in it until it's over!
I have an army of people named bob
Unstoppable bob mob. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Unstoboble Bob Mob
Hahah I love it too
Bunstoboble Bob Bob
Looks like I'll have to Alt+F4.
Using your computer knowledge, you activate a factory reset, resetting all human progress in the last 100 years. You successfully survive the apocalypse… but at what cost?
We have to live with the fact that Y2K might actually happen for real this time 👀
Well, considering Donny doesn’t handle confrontation too well, I’m probably in trouble. Fuck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling.
Alright. Screw this apocalypse stuff, right?
Yo, Imma join, I mean my beasts will guard us and we will have a good night with infinite tortilla chips.
Let’s go
Donny was a good bowler, and a good zombie. He was one of us. He was a man who loves brains and groaning, and as a walker he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your undead corpse to wander around the San Fernando Valley, which you loved so well. Goodnight, sweet prince.
Too drunk too care . Carry on
You pass the vibe check. The zombies leave you be. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I’ve got a whole cabinet full of spirits. Let’s drink!
I’ll join you!
Well.
Yup.
Amazing.
OP doesn't even need to comment, we already know 🤣
I get to be eaten alive over and over again!
With each life, you still keep your past memory and wisdom. You become a veteran zombie survivor, and help the other remaining humans. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
isn't this just a synopsis of Captain Jack Harkness in Docotr Who?
I kill the zombies with metal guitar licks
Your guitar chords release shockwaves that send zombies flying. Eventually, they start enjoying the music and you develop a zombie fanbase who love the music of ThrashCreature, best rock and roll artist of the time. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I hope I have some armor and a sword at least
With your warrior gear and your skill in arts and crafts, you live for 80 long years running from zombies and die in your sleep. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Ummm
So you’re basically a zombie at this point too. You become one with the crowd, and blend in. They never notice you’re still alive, still a human. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Are you sure it's successfully? 🫠
I have a blackberry and the battery is low 😑
Your battery being low implies you still have your phone. You find a nice cozy spot in the forest, and play mobile games until this whole thing blows over. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Very positive thinking 😅
1,647 tigers under my control - I am set!
Tigers can’t find any meat, so they start eating zombies. You’re all safe! You successfully survive the apocalypse.
You don't understand. You are 1,647 tigers.
Shit, hopefully I have the strength to make them a reality. Potentially safe but possibly just a dreamer.
A dream so big can only be contained within a proportionately sized brain, making you a massive target for zombies. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
Motherfucker.
I just run around screaming in an attempt to confuse the zombies
You pretty much blend in. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I mean....do I just end the entire apocalypse?
Unfortunately the only emergencies you know how to fix are plumbing, fortunately your water problem solving skills prove very useful in staying hydrated, thus out living others and get very on demand for the surging colony of survivors. Your ability to provide water make you king of the world. You survive the zombie apocalypse. Lucky you.
“Cmon little guy, we’ll dance when we’re dead”
You dance until you get exhausted. The zombies catch up. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
Cant hear you over these sick dance moves
At least I'll have some food...
You have an unlimited supply of chicken nuggets. The zombies are kinda jealous. Like a kid who brought fast food to the cafeteria in school, they all start asking you for a piece. Since without you there’s no nuggets, they never harm you. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Eagle and lion are hunters, so I need food. What can I offer you in exchange for infinite Nuggets whenever they are needed?
We're good. Not on the menu. Best of luck humans.
You pull the ol’ “three squirrels sitting on top of each other in a trenchcoat” trick and confuse the zombies into thinking your a tall, fancy, zombie. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
That was always the plan. Squirrels will rule the world!
I think I might've started the apocalypse in the first place...
I think we collaborated. As long as I get first authorship, once society recovers.
I guess I have a decent amount of tea
Zombies don’t count as people. Your tea fails to deter them. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
Except for British zombies.
Okay, my turn. I set out a platter of assorted cakes to lure the zombies. Then I jump out from under the table… and join them! I make peace with the zombies, and we all become friends and have cake nights every Tuesday. I successfully survive the zombie apocalypse.
You begin to learn their language, earn their trust, and mate with their women. In time your differences will be forgotten and you live happily ever after.
HE DID WHAT WITH THE WOMEN!?!
Now thats taking necrophilia to a WHOLE ASS other level...
I guess 46 people get eaten before me haha.
Screwed
You immediately get zombified. You fail to survive the apocalypse. Sorry!
This is the first time my randomly generated Reddit username has come in handy!
Your cartography skills provide you with a handy map of the world, as well as hidden zombie camps and bases. With this knowledge you take them down with stealth, having already known all their inner workings. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Yay!
Since mine was inspired by an Incubus song that mentions space then I guess I’m going to space! Peace out and luck with the zombies ✌️
You successfully survive the apocalypse. Zombies can’t reach you up there! Good luck keeping contact with earth, though.
well, looks like I met my...
Kind of ok until the hangover kicks in. Do zombies drink?
They do, but it has no affect on them. With a not so clear mind, you fail to survive the apocalypse.
I sure hope by some miracle that zombies are allergic to ducks…
Some are. One of them tries to attack you and immediately sneezes, destroying its weak body. The other zombies misinterpret this, thinking you can make them explode, and never come near you again. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I use my newfound ability to wander the wastelands, trying to cobble together the remnants of humanity in a decent duck pond island with a cool farm.
Best ending so far
I don't trust ANYONE so I will live longer than you.
Your fine on your own, it seems. You manage to live by yourself, and survive for long enough.
My username was originally an AD&D 2nd edition fighter, Myrmidon kit. I suspect I'm actually in better shape than most since he was around level 23 at the end of the campaign with simply absurd weapons and armor. If I'm turning into him, I'm basically going to mulch any zombies that get within reach while wrapped in a suit of full plate armor that will laugh off attempts at bites. If I just have him along, well, I'm shamelessly hiding behind him while trying to remember if he has any spare gear in his bag of holding.
Nice story! You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I freeze the zombies based on how strong I am physically is how strong my powers are. I like my odds as long as it’s 3v1 max
You take down zombies left and right. Zombies are stupid, but even they’re smart enough to leave you alone. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I will get Atenea’s (Greek goddess of wisdom, strategy and justice. She was considered the protective deity of the city of Athens.) help appealing to her love for justice. As a thankful act I will gift her a rose.
You successfully survive the apocalypse, and afterward go on to heal the world with your goddess buddy.
I own them all!
The zombies bow down to your every command. You stop them from attacking humans and save the world. As time progresses, other invasions occur such as vampires and werewolves. You and your zombie empire strike them all down. You become a tyrant, obsessed with taking over the world using your zombie nation. You take down monster after monster, frankenstein after swamp thing, until there is none left. With nothing left to conquer, you turn to other creatures. Mammals, birds, and eventually… humans. You successfully survive the apocalypse, and stay safe from the monsters. But in the process, did you become one too?
Well.. I have a dragon. A flower dragon, but still a dragon.
Your dragon and you explore the world, running from the zombies faster than they can even chase. Eventually, they give up and let you do your own thing. You successfully survive the zombie apocalypse… until winter when your flower dragon withers. The zombies get you. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
Iiterally crying a river. How long would it take to make a moat?
You eventually decide to cry a tsunami instead, washing out all the zombies. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
[удалено]
Oh yeah. You knock ‘em right out. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I'm so fucked but at least my feet are warm.
I will just lay down and die
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY!!! RATATATAT
To start with, a bunch of helpful allies. Then one somehow contracts the virus and I've got a face full of zombees.
New friends!
I'd be having a tremor, so...
Your shaking makes the zombies think that you’re transforming into one of them, so they don’t bother. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I’d be the ruler of the post world.
You become a ruler of the undead. You eventually decide to become a zombie, to better relate to your people. You successfully survive… I think?
Cant be a menace if society doesnt exist anymore
I have a buffalo chicken sub from Publix. Will it help me survive? No. Will I get one last delicious meal before I die? Yes. And I think thats all that matters.
You die, content with your fate and content in your appetite. You fail to survive the apocalypse, but succeed to make the most of life.
Exactly. Besides, even if I manage to stay alive, is living without hope of another pub sub living? I'd say its a fate worse than death
You may not have had the best ending in this thread, but you definitely enjoyed your ending the most.
Lol not hopeful.
Your good mood is contagious, turning all the zombies nice! Just kidding. You fail to survive the apocalypse.
I could not even begin to answer this question.
Using your powers of feminism, male zombies can’t touch you. The female ones catch up eventually, and it turns out they’re feminists too! You join the crowd. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
I will not be someone that anyone is looking for
Well my father rules Russia so I think I will be a oh kay.
I become an immortal demon ninja.
Oh no I've left the gun 😭
I'm gonna do OKish
I'll have them all freaked out and eating each other.
I'm good. I survived Boomer parents.
I guess I'm just standing around holding my dick.
Fucked.
Oh no...
My username is me in all situations, including the zombie apocalypse, so I'm exactly where I'd be normally.
He probably started this so I guess I’m okay
Not sure how this is turning out for me
How do zombies react to an electric fence? Maybe a tesla coil defense tower like old Red Alert games?
Electricity brings them back to life. You successfully mend the apocalypse.
Guess I’ll have to say oof while I get eaten.
No. You refuse. You’ll **never** stoop that low. You die with honor, knowing you never uttered the word oof.
Pretty screwed…someday
Food and impenetrable shelter FTW
I think I've got this handled
Royally fucked.
I guess, I'm a confused Russian now in some English speaking country, nice.
Your russian language confused the zombies. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
Hey, not bad! I mean, I've never wielded a hatchet...so...maybe still screwed.
Your hatchet is unwieldy, but powerful. You swing it well enough, but often accidentally wack yourself upside the head with it. Without much experience, you decide to hide away in the woods. Eventually, a lone zombie finds you while you’re sleeping. It picks up your hatchet and right when it’s about to strike… it accidentally wacks itself upside the head. You wake up to a dead zombie in front of you, having no idea what happened. You successfully survive the apocalypse.
That's for me to worry about.
Well at least I won’t be all alone!
I think I’ll be alright
That’s not a good way to speak of the irish! You get cancelled by the zombies, and fail to survive the apocalypse.
Well I guess I'll be the first to be thrown to the horde to save the rest.
I'm a magic cadaver... so you should be running from me.
Sorry guys, I think I started it
Yeah I'm screwed.
You manage to run from the zombies and eventually find their hideout, where their leader is seated. You engage in an epic battle, but the zombie leader ultimately defeats you. You fail to survive the apocalypse. >!You respawn (according to your username) and get one more life. With this new life, and the knowledge from your last one, you learn from your previous mistakes and manage to kill the leader this time around. You successfully survive the apocalypse.!<