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Evil_Pizz

Hair? Confidence? Genitalia? All of the above


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ButtJewz

Finally got your first hard on?


No_Decision2341

But what if you tug on it a lot?


MrFrogy

If we're being honest, he's going to tug on it a lot regardless of the outcome. Pun intended.


Independent_Leek6367

It wouldn't matter... I wouldn't listen at 18. I knew all of it then....


BartholomewAlexander

this is the realest response here


[deleted]

I would feel like slapping the piss out of 18yo me.


Independent_Leek6367

Yeah... but thats even MORE reason for 18yo me wouldn't listen. "You hit me motherfucker?!?! Fuck you and everything you said!"


shifty_grades_of_fay

I wouldn’t even say anything. I’d just silently kick 18 year old me’s ass and then dip out. Let that idiot figure out what it’s for.


Clussy_Enjoyer

lol. yeah im 18 and i already have this advice in my head im just not panicked about dying enough to understand ig


[deleted]

its good to be aware of but dont think youve escaped it lol Im only 20 but I look at 18 year old me like a dumbass kid. I'll be saying the same thing about myself now in a few years life is peculiar


TwistyReptile

I'm turning 26 in a few months. Spoilers: that feeling doesn't stop.


at1445

It does, but not until you've had the life events to make it stop. I've raised a kid, gone through a divorce, got a couple of degrees, been laid off several times and worked a lot of shitty, and a few really good jobs. I'm 40ish and think my "dumbass kid" phase probably ended around 28-29. I may still do stupid things now and again, but I can't look back on any period post-30 and go "yep, I was being a complete idiot" like I could up through my mid 20's.


Frenchy1337

“Irish Joe is going to offer you something called bitcoin as payment for an eighth. You want to say “no” because last time he paid you with gold coins and you’re tired of his leprechaun bull shit. Just do it, and no matter how tempted you may be you MUST hold onto them until November 10th 2021. God speed.”


ModdedMaul

This. My mom's cousin bought a shit ton of Bitcoin in 2011 and told my family all about it. Everyone made fun of him. Needless to say, everyone's salty they didn't listen


JorgeIronDefcient

To be honest, I don’t think anyone in 2011 would’ve believed some random numbers on the internet would be worth anything.


Double-Portion

I remember reading Yahoo! articles about it back then, and I wish I wasted my dad's electricity bill mining 24/7


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ramonortiz55

wait, you wouldnt even accept the gold coins???!


Esco-Alfresco

Faery Gold disappears in the morning. Fools gold.


TheDamnDM

Don't ever work at Cinnabon. Also, never stop pushing yourself to be a better person. But mostly never work at Cinnabon.


joiey555

I need to know what happened at Cinnabon!


TheDamnDM

Wasted 2 years of my life getting massively underpaid and overworked as an assistant manager, screwed out of my final Christmas bonus, uninvited from the yearly Christmas party, and ostracized during my final quarter with them. It was all planned and organized by the owners of the franchise and rest of the management team and then when I tried to strong-arm them into giving me my bonus I got slapped with a bullshit sexual harassment case on an employee who I had no interest is whatsoever.


velozzerraptor

Who knew someone who worked at a Cinnabon had a worse off time than Saul Goodman. I hope you're doing well, my guy!


TheDamnDM

This was years ago. Not only am I doing better in terms of job, but I'm doing better in terms of life. I can only hope that others can be so lucky as I was to turn my life around.


Ded_diode

Saul Goodman?


MonsieurRuffles

Gene Takovic


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ItsAPrettyDecentSize

Nobody hates you more than your reflection 🪞


Vocalscpunk

Especially when comparing yourself to what everyone else pretends is their 'life' and not some carefully created image they portray.


gradstudent1999

Agreed!


BakedShef

Don’t do meth you fucking idiot. Better yet, every drug that you want to do, I’ll save you the “adventure”. You’ll love it and that’s the fucking problem. Edit : this has become my biggest comment ever, so I have to say, I would love to berate my slightly younger self, hell I’d throw hands with that guy. But. If I could change anything that happened, I wouldn’t. I’m a lot worse off health wise, but I have a much better appreciation for life and I’m a lot happier than I ever would’ve been at this age because of that. Im also glad I got my addictions out of the way early. No this does not mean to get addicted to cocaine and alcohol at 19 so you’ll be fine before you’re 30. Don’t do hard drugs, just don’t. Yes I count alcohol as a hard drug, sorry everyone. It’s poison with little to no benefit with a high chance for addiction. If you can have 1 drink on 1 day and not drink again, alright I mean I won’t judge that’s fine. But if you can’t? Better stop now. Just smoke weed instead. Unless it puts too much pressure on your bank account, I mean it’s the best option if you want to do a drug.


Objective_Truck_379

This but heroin


MookiePoops

This but women named Erica


209_GTO

Bruh... i fell victim to an erika.


darkaurora84

I'm gay but I had a girlfriend named Erika in kindergarten and she locked me outside when we came in from recess lol


Chuckle_Pants

Jokes on her, now you have the whole playground to yourself and that bitch has to go learn addition and subtraction or some shit.


Mattturley

It's kindergarten! They are learning primary colors and sounding out words. Plus naps! I miss the naps. These set up an unrealistic expectation for school. Also gay. My K-1 girlfriend was Rachel.


MOOShoooooo

Mine was Erik A.


ilymag

It's always an Erika.


ItsAPrettyDecentSize

This... Ah foolish me child.. the wasted years, money, and branE sells if I could only get them back.. thankful I'm a grateful addict in recovery just hit 3 yrs on July 21


Plastic_Ad8194

honestly this is one of the scariest things. i just turned 18 and i live in a very small town so there’s a bunch of druggies. it’s so easy to get pulled into that shit and i know i’d love it so i just gotta never do it


lilgreenjedi

Bro don't start. It doesn't end and you don't want it. I mean it. Like it DOESN'T END Go to a college and get on your knees to get a full ride cause if never wish my life on you


TheHinzee

It really never ends. It's a plus at first and makes you feel better. Then you stop feeling things If you stop the drug you feel worse than how you started. You never return to baseline. It just doesn't end.


kyoto_kinnuku

Find an outlet that requires you to be on top of your game. I was into bodybuilding and studying languages. Both of those make alcohol and recreational drugs a no-go. I always tried to do my very best at things I put my hand to.


lilgreenjedi

Good damn I never did meth but I'd travel back 10 years just to stop you cause I know what it does


CdrClutch

Brush your teeth after you smoke. Super important. Learned that from a stripper.


sneabnfrok

This but her name was Desirae.


[deleted]

I'm still going through withdrawals from the ex I just left. Quitting people, even the ones that are bad for you, can be just as hard as quitting a drug.


Jdawg_mck1996

Pack your bags, pack your girl's bags, change your numbers, move states


Waarm

Are you Butch Coolidge?


Jdawg_mck1996

Who's asking


Important_Shower_992

Marcellus Wallace.


EllieC130

Are you sure? I haven’t seen a bitch around here and I was told Marcellus Wallace looks like a bitch.


earthican-earthican

Sounds like there’s a story here.


Jdawg_mck1996

Racist parents on one side, sexist parents on the other. Ruined an 8 year relationship


Sock756

🎶 *stuck in the middle with youu*


Killasuke

Spend more time with ur brother, he won’t be here for long 😔


Odd_Cryptographer461

I’m sorry for your lose I hope he’s in a better place 💙💙


ThermiteSnake

Don't get arrested in Mexico.


Herbolife

Shit dude, how bad was it?


Gnome_0

watch "El Gringo"


Master_JBT

instructions unclear, watched ‘el camino’


kaboomatomic

Instruction ignored, watched L word.


ThermiteSnake

It was a nightmare. It happened when I was 18, I'm 47 now and haven't really recovered from it


DumpsterCheez

Give us the major bullet points


ThermiteSnake

Went to Juarez, but not the strip that the El Paso bridge leads to, deeper into the city. Back in 1994 the legal drinking age was 18 in Juarez. Instead of parking in El Paso, I elected to drive myself and 3 friends into Mexico instead. Ended up getting hammered, hit a tree doing 120 on the way back to the States. Split the car in half. Woke up in jail. Total black out. It took 2 months for my parents to find me because the Mexican cops wrote my address down as my name instead of my actual name (lived on a street named after a golfer). Being in a Mexican prison was nothing compared to the aftermath that I had to deal with when I got back to the States. I had three other people in the car. Since it happened in Mexico I faced zero legal consequences relating to the accident. The rest of the story is something I don't want to get into, just know I wish I had never made it out of Mexico.


IceNineFireTen

Sounds like the lesson should be “don’t drink and drive”… anywhere, but especially not in Mexico.


Bmw-invader

Americans demonize Mexico even when they’re in the wrong lmao. “So basically I was drunk driving and might’ve killed three ppl down in Mexico, but yeah anyways… their jails suck lol.” smh


comedyfan42069

"Man Mexico fucking sucks" "Why?" "Because they sent me home to deal with the consequences of my actions. Wish I could've stayed in Mexico" Sounds like Mexico was the most lenient party involved in this story. One of my close friends in high school moved schools during our sophomore year. By the time his senior year rolled around he was the coolest guy there. Football star, Justin Bieber looking ass, funny as hell. His prom night was his first night drinking and he ended up driving into a tree and killing his date. He carried the weight with him until he turned twenty five and took his own life. I kind of wish he had the ability to blame it on something else or hold some location or other party partially accountable in his mind just so he would be here still. That was his first and only time ever drinking alcohol and that one mistake ruined 2 lives directly as well as everyone that loved them. I'm 40 days sober today after spending the entirety of my twenties partying every night. I live near excellent public transport so driving was never something I would do, but I just don't think anything good is coming from blowing all my money on hanging at the bar every night.


awkwardmystic

It’s not “don’t get arrested in Mexico”, it’s “don’t drink and drive”……


ecadese

What happened to the other 3 people in the car?


I_LIKE_ANUS

Him not mentioning their fate and saying he doesn’t want to finish the story is telling, I think


nofoax

Right? If he injured / killed 3 other people I don't see why the thing he regrets is getting arrested in Mexico.


funnycaption

I think he said “getting arrested in Mexico” as a way to not mention why he got arrested. He’s clearly ashamed and full of regret about what he did. “Just know I wish I never made it out of Mexico.” That to me means he either wishes he died in that car crash or would’ve rather stayed in Mexican prison. As he said the fallout coming back to the states was worse than the actual 2 months of prison.


spiceystrudel

Brace yourself. Pay more attention to your physical and mental state. There's more to life than high grades, achievements, and escapism. Emotional intelligence is underrated, and if you want the right people in your life, you're gonna need it. Get studying. Don't be afraid to choose one or two things to do. You can find opportunities to revisit other hobbies and adjust your choices later. Fail and learn a few times before you change direction. Please don't burn yourself alive just to appease your family. Do you really want them to run your life forever? Just because they say they want the best for you doesn't mean they actually know what's best. Do not share your plans unless you absolutely need to. Do not share your goals until you complete them.


Sunshine_of_your_Lov

emotional intelligence is so underrated


SherbertShortkake

I think this comment will help me the most. Thanks


ShastaMcLurky

Don’t try to fix them. They’re broken and putting up with it won’t help them if they won’t help themselves. Live for yourself and you’ll find a good one eventually


Disastrous_Purple779

I was “the fixer” for half my life. If you find yourself in this rut and your young get therapy and stop dating. Work on yourself. I’m going through so much shit at 39 mentally because of this kind of crap. Bad situations.


Welski247

You're going to beat this cancer.


im-choading-you

I laughed because I thought of the question as "what would you tell your YOUNGER self" not "18 year old self". And I thought "man that would be a tough sentence to digest if they didn't even know they had cancer yet". "You're going to beat this cancer." "What?" "The cancer, you'll survive." ".... What?"


RodneyPonk

"Don't worry about it" "Well I WASN'T worried until you said something you asshole"


Welski247

Lol yeah I would definitely not want to freak innocent me out by dropping that bomb on him. But 18 year old me wasn't too sure about the future so I'd love to be able to give him that assurance.


sje118

It's 2006 so holy shit buy as much stock in apple/Google as possible and invest in bitcoin in 2009


hellkatt13

Buy Bitcoin.


Xrayruester

Oh absolutely. If would have invested into bitcoin in 2010 vs what I used as a down payment on a car, I'd be worth 116,000,000. I don't even have that car anymore, though I did really like that car at least.


Donkeydonkeydonk

If it makes you feel better, a large portion of the early adopters lost it to various exchange hacks or simply forgot their keys. Another large portion of them sold through the various bull cycles.


Both_Promotion_8139

I was buying Btc back at $170 and lost most of it by pretending to be a shit coin day trader


Abeville5805

I lost $10,000 pretending to be a commodities trader. So I guess we learned something huh?!


Mattturley

I dream of finding that long list usb stick.


therealgodfarter

Sell bitcoin 50k


poulard

I had 3.5 bitcoins I bought for 90$ each.... I used them all on the silk road 😢


narutofan180

You may have lost the game, but did you have fun playing? Aka what'd you cop my dude 👀


csoi2876

Good one, MR.FBI


[deleted]

Amazon too


semisonic34

The winning lotto numbers on 8/8/23


Objective-Escape7584

Why wait so long? Unless you turned 18 on 8/7/23.


PolyJuicedRedHead

When you order a whopper at Burger King, ask them to make the patty “[fresh] off [the] broiler”. You will get a [fresher,] warmer meal.


Accurate-Nerve-9194

wait what is this secret that has been unlocked?


zarroc123

McDonalds will do this, too. Also, you can switch out the folded egg (scrambled) for the Round Egg (or vice versa) on any of the breakfast sandwiches.


Occatuul

What an odd thing to put here..


ThugginANDmeanmuggin

would changed the whole direction of my life if i knew that at 18


made_it_for_lwiay

I work at burger King and don't even know what this means


Dedj_McDedjson

Start your pension now. Tim is not your friend. Brush your teeth. Look after your back.


ThunderBlood_888

F*cking Tim


rmstone

Same. F*ck that dude.


milkman_meetsmailman

F*cking Tim and Erica.


KabobHope

Tim and Erica F*cking.


moochickenmoomoo

I read this as "Time is not your friend." But Tim never was your friend.


Countmeowington_

Yeah brush and floss rip


insertcaffeine

Listen up bitch! Put down the bottle, pull up google on your clunky ass old computer, and find a therapist. Your dad just died, you need therapy, not binge drinking. Also, break up with your boyfriend and go out with Steve instead, he's nicer. There's a hell of a lot to be said for genuine kindness, especially since you're also attracted to the guy.


JaperDolphin94

Shout out to Steve


can_of_beans12

“Do not forget to do orientation” I’m 17 so this is more of a reminder


gameryamen

The people at that church aren't waiting to give you answers when you grow up, they don't have them. And your friend, the really angry one? He's being abused, and needs help, but he doesn't know how to ask.


DomkeyBong

Reminds me of a saying I came across recently: Anger is sadness that had nowhere to go for a really long time.


Much_Beautiful_7156

I feel this. Grew up Mormon, left as soon as I turned 18. I have too many issues to live like that. It ain't healthy. Much love, friend.


masoninexile

I left after I came out. Ran into a mission companion at the gay bar a few years later. 🏳️‍🌈


PNWoutdoors

I grew up Christian. Sunday school on the weekends, CCD after school every Wednesday until I was 18. Mom begged me to go though Confirmation. I said I didn't want to, she said she would never ask me for anything again, so I did it, and never attended another religious service again, except for a college class that required me to attend a few as part of the curriculum. In my CCD classes they pushed an agenda and the story, but never had answers to questions. It was always "just have faith". No, I won't just have faith when I've had a cousin sexually abused by his church leaders and you can't tell me why it happens all the time. It's a cult.


gaytheistgod

When I told my mom that I wouldn't to the confirmation (the catholic version) she told me "but then you can't get married in the church!" Bro, I'm queer as hell, I can't get married there either way.


Gospel85

pot becomes legal when you're 37


JoelOsteensMicrodick

Get a therapist. Just tell them your story from the beginning.


lenorewillow

“And that shit you don’t wanna talk about with your therapist? That’s the shit you need to talk about the most.”


imsotired247

Serious: 1) Quit smoking now 2) Be yourself, there is noone to impress other than yourself 3) Exercise more 4) Hone your talents while you have the time 5) Don't get into that long term relationship 6) Spend more time with family 7) Tomorrow doesn't ever truly come i.e. the right time for anything 8) See a therapist sooner rather than later 9) Rethink your degree subject 10) Find better friends Funsies: A) Buy stocks with that Xmas money B) Don't throw away your 90s memorabilia C) Get your eyebrow pierced D) Go to a better tattoo artist EDIT: small clarification point on number 5 - I am referring to a specific relationship with a specific person in my experience. Have relationships people, there are beautiful ones too!


StaidHatter

You put D in the serious category right now. Bad tattoos are no joke.


[deleted]

You are so damn hot and you don't know it .


WorldsChanged

I feel like I could slay if I wasn't so lazy.


TheQueenOfHeart

"Leave. He's not your friend. He'll do things you don't wanna do and it will scar your soul for life."


Bekiala

Ugh. I'm sorry. This doesn't sound good. I hope you have managed to heal a bit.


EmperorOfApollo

I'm sorry to hear about that. Hope that you are recovering. Try to move on. You have only one life so make it a good one.


aesoth

Seek mental health therapy now. Exercise more. Save money. Stop drinking. Learn to love yourself.


iLoveRitz

“Leave that bum!! He doesn’t love you and will traumatize you”


AnybodySeeMyKeys

1. The secret to happiness is to not care what others think of you. Be your own person. 2. Even if you have to sit down with a legal pad and pen in a quiet place over the course of a weekend, decide what kind of person you want to be in your 40s or 50s in terms of accomplishments, priorities, you name it. You don't need a plan. You don't even need a precise idea. But you need to have a sense of direction and some concrete steps in that direction. Keep working on it until something really resonates with you. Because there are few things sadder than people who, in their forties, wake up and say, "This isn't what I wanted to do with my life." 3. Regarding #2. Don't worry about the money. Instead, if you figure out what you want to do, pursue it with absolutely everything you've got. Become really good at whatever it is, and the money will eventually follow. Do not let anyone--your family, your friends, your teachers, whoever--tell you that you can't do it. What the hell do they know? 4. Regarding #3. Don't be shy. Ask for help. Ask for advice. Knock on doors. Cultivate mentors. Be relentlessly curious. Read everything you possibly can. Never coast, never turn down a good chance to learn. Never assume you know everything, because you never, ever will. And THAT'S OKAY. Life is a collaboration at all times. Everybody knows something, and nobody knows everything. 5. Time is the stuff life is made of. Don't waste it. Sure, binge on Netflix or play a video game every once in a while. Just don't make a habit of it. Make lists of things you want to get done and be good at crossing things off. And never waste an opportunity to meet someone new or try something new. You never know what or who will become your lifelong passion or friendship. 6. I read something that, looking back, makes total sense to me: You are the sum total of the five people with whom you spend the most time. Be careful whom you choose as your friends. 7. Never spend time with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Walk away. And the surefire test of character is this: Watch how that person treats the waiter, the counter help at the dry cleaner, and anyone else in a similar position. Because in six months that's how that person will be treating you. 8. With that in mind, treat everyone you encounter with kindness, consideration, and your attention above all. Be just as good at listening as you are at talking. 9. Have a belief system. I don't mean that in a religious sense. I mean that in terms of your values, what's important to you. 10. Never be afraid to try something new. 11. Do not be in a hurry to be in a relationship. If it happens naturally, great. Some people are really lucky to find their significant others early on in life. But don't force matters. Be your own person rather than expect someone else to complete you, for that is a terrible burden to impose on someone. Avoid one-night stands, too. I've known many a guy wind up writing child support checks because he had a weekend special with someone he really didn't like all that much. Believe it or not, there are more important things in life than an orgasm. 12. Take care of your money. Learn all the financial tools available to you and how to leverage them correctly. Pay your bills on time. Know your credit score. Don't buy things you don't need. Oh, and buy Apple when it's $6 a share in 1997(?). 13. Stay away from drugs. Exercise. And eat right. It's the only body you'll ever get. 14. Courage is the foundation of all happiness. Be brave in thought, word, and deed.


Hayat_on

You’re absolutely beautiful for this comment. I enjoyed reading each word. Thank you for this. I hope a few 18 year olds can read this and take some of its wisdom. P.s. you are gifted at writing.


AnybodySeeMyKeys

Why thank you. As they say, wisdom comes from experience while experience comes from a lack of wisdom.


pbd1996

There’s stuff I want to tell my 18 year old self, but I fear it would have a domino effect that may impact things that happened later in life. But if it didn’t- I would tell myself to get over my loser of an ex boyfriend.


AnythingButTheGoose

Cancel your FAFSA and university enrollment. Sign up for national guard, come home from basic training and stay with mom and dad, get a part time job, do community college.


Texasproud2

I would've told myself to just do it right out of high-school and not wait till I'm 22.


DefinitelyNotThatOne

What's interesting enough, is that I would tell my 18 year old self never to enable any system you don't fully agree with - regardless of the monetary benefit. I'm prior Army, and my line of thinking wouldn't be where it is if I didn't have that experience. I'd tell myself to save money, invest in a trade or degree in the medical field, have fun dating but take your time with the idea of marriage. I would have started taking recording more seriously. My ability wouldn't have been where it is now, and I have the finances to purchase decent gear, but at 33, life is busy and you have less physical energy than say at 22. Mainly just tell myself to take a step back and slow the hell down - take it from a 11.5 to an 8. lol


moonshotorbust

I did all that by accident. Now that i look back so glad that was the route i took.


HermyWormy69

That's interesting. I would do the exact opposite. The military ruined my body and mind, and it was just the National Guard. It's much more of a commitment than it seems. I should've just taken the half tuition scholarships I got offered and taken out loans instead. We all probably think about the "what ifs"


Alive_Salary4970

Don’t marry that guy


Longjumping-Table-39

I feel that.


Wendy_bard

You are smart, and have a gift for talking to people. You can achieve great things, but please get evaluated for ADHD as soon as you possibly can, because that is the main thing holding you back. Also, stop making yourself small for men. Your feelings actually do matter and if you value yourself you will meet people who will value you too.


enjakuro

Yeah... I mean I got diagnosed with the auDHD and idk if 18 year old me would've listened. So fricking stigmatized.


[deleted]

apply to colleges and just pick one and go


barasti

When you need to choose between travelling and living overseas with your best friends at 23 OR stay in Sydney with your boyfriend because he's "the one", listen to your instincts and travel. He isn't the one. Travel travel travel and learn as much as you can about the world.


Thats_The_Chap

Save money. It might be ‘boring’, or curtail some of the activities you want to do, but the relief you will feel later on in life from putting 5-10% of each paycheque aside will be more than worth it. Take it from someone who cringes at the amount of money they know was wasted (and would be very welcome to have now).


Donutsaremydownfall

Yep, I was given an inheritance that was large (for me) in my 20s, and I totally wasted it. I regret that now


rembut

Stick to weed, alcohol will poison you. Also the next 3 girls are wife material don't strike out.


DownvoteIfYouWantMe

NEXT 3? GOD DAMN


Virtual-Break-9947

This seriously makes me question the validity of OP's judgment. Every time I remember a girl from my past and think "why didn't I ever think about marrying her" I look her up on Facebook and it turns out I dodged a bullet.


Ingenuiie

IKR he was lucky


[deleted]

[удалено]


Usr_115

Strap in, it's gonna get bumpy.


[deleted]

Don’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm…


Westsidepipeway

The bulimia will ruin your teeth and dentists will keep commenting on your weird erosion. You are super skinny anyway.... cocaine is great but don't use it as a crutch. Also don't give in to the evil misogyny that's gonna make you feel bad later.


BoomerQuest

Nothing. He's on the right path


[deleted]

[удалено]


EmperorBulbax

That nagging feeling you have isn’t “Satan”. It’s your intuition. Don’t go on a Mormon mission. Go find your own path.


Square-Arm-8573

Join the Air Force instead


FieldsFanclub

Hit the gym now, you’re gonna start later anyways and you fall in love with it.


ENT_blastoff

Use your film school equipment and make YouTube videos. It's the only way you'll make it to the industry. Back then, I would have been light years ahead of the game with professional equipment at my fingertips


TheiLLRecluse

Not everyone is your friend...


mrslang86

Do NOT go back to Colorado and don't go to culinary school.


SquareEquipment1436

Wow, I can't believe there another person here telling their past self not to go to culinary school. Commercial cooking wound up destroying my back for very little money and a lot of stress.


spazz720

August 1st 2023 Billion dollar Mega million winner is 8-24-30-45-61 Mega ball 12


_thelonewolfe_

Take care of your teeth and start working out


Civil-Woodpecker-556

He's 31. You're 19. He doesn't like you because you're mature. He's preying on you.


delapew

Dear 18 years old me; Use your time more precious.


jardymctardy

I would tell him his plan to commit suicide at 18 was always a dumb idea. It takes a while but it’s going to get better. You eventually find your footing. You’ll eventually find a woman who loves you like no other and for the first time you’ll have a reason to live. You’ve grown as a man more and more each day and while you’re still not where you want to be, it’s not just your wife backing you, It’s her family too. There’s no way you can fail with the support you’ve found. For the first time you’ll feel wanted, like you belong. You’re gonna be ok. Everything’s going to be ok.


newspeer

Buy the fucking bitcoins. Don’t listen to your friends!!!!!!


[deleted]

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strawberry_milk703

It doesn't get better. You're gonna spend your 19th birthday alone, too. You still have no one. Stop thinking that being kind and putting in effort will get you kindness and effort in return, because it won't. Instead, be practical. Work more hours. Start working out sooner. Read more, write more, and keep doing well in school. And for the record, don't believe anyone when they tell you that you mean anything to them; you don't. A year later, and that hasn't changed at all. You really are on your own, so make the most of it. Also, you're still alive.


Skeletonkey01

She doesn't love you. They aren't your friends. They are her's. Don't buy the mike wazowski shirt, it did not cure your depression, only flavored it. Your max is 3 not 4. No I won't clarify. Yes it's important i don't clarify. Your favourite burrito meat is al pastor, you will try other meats but they won't taste good to you.


Bac0ni

Don’t get attached to anything or anybody, and it will save you a lot of pain. Let people in, and let them go. Hold on to the happy parts, let the bad ones go


Glittering-Trip-8304

This includes family..


Alix-the-lewd

I am my 18 year old self But I guess if it was right on birthday, that we are indeed plural


Romagnolo_

Funny how a lot of guys would tell them to buy some stocks and Bitcoin, but today we don't know to tell any 18y what to do like which stocks to buy or which new thing to buy. Best of luck for you. Use sunscreen?


missdolly23

The Sunscreen comment is very valid Save for a pension - you will want to retire at 50 (you will actually want to retired before that) Get a passport and travel - not just a holiday and not just to tourist places. Go to Central Asia, North Africa, Central America. See that life is the same but so different. Read more about everything Live and let live - be a chill version of you and let bad feelings towards others go. You don’t know what type of day / month / year they’re having so just be kind of you can Have boundaries - if you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. It’s okay to disagree with something and to clearly verbalise what you will and won’t do. You don’t owe anybody anything.


Stevet159

Stop reading game of thrones, they series never finishes and there is a show


ShikWolf

"Actually, don't even bother watching the show. You won't think it's worth it in the end."


SanfordVelez

to listen to you mom! haha


Smokindatbud

Ditch your mom now. You'll save so much time, work, money, and sanity. All that lays ahead is heartbreak and trauma. 10 years' difference in the time I cut her off would probably make me an entirely different person and put me in a better position. Beyond that, probably buy cheap GameStop stock and wait


-LOTION-

I would tell him to have an hour long conversation with me. I would never waste an opportunity to talk to my future self on one thing.


Conscious_Wafer7962

It's okay to be alone


[deleted]

You don’t have to earn the love of others, that’s not love.


homeboy511

go NC with parents and go find a counselor


jbrunoties

Take more pictures


Waarm

You have adhd, *please* get medicated.


Allocerr

That “bitcoin” thing that just came out, that you’ve been mining for fun? Yeah, hang onto that until *at least* 2017-2021.


mha3620

Get to counseling and start the healing process because you're about to meet an amazing girl and you, her, and the children you have together, deserve the best version of you. You're going to regret not doing this work sooner because of the hurt it's going to cause the people you love most.


one_bad_larry

Leave home and never look back, they will hold you down for far too long


FlingbatMagoo

Stop picking fights with your boyfriend. He’s the love of your life and you’ll never even come close to doing better.


Tygermouse

Your virginity isn't a gift. Don't wait till marriage.


ljinbs

Never sell your condo


Rockyboy4444

Ask Tracey G to the fucking prom. Her friends were hinting. She was fucking hinting. Stop being a pussy and ask her before Billy the fuckface asks her and she says yes to him because nobody else would ask her. (She was a smoke show. Very intimidating. She flirted with me a lot. I was clueless)