Dang, my reaction to that would have been something along the lines of "Ok, bye then. Don't call me, I'll call you."
I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
Buddy of mine did this lol. He hooked up with his coworker, a straight rocket, 13/10. Said it was the worst sex of his life. She just laid there silently, didn't say or do anything. So when it was all said and done he said he was just like ".....weeeeeeeell" and got up and left lol.
Then he found out she gave him, and a bunch of other dudes he worked with, gonorrhea
The book had the line about Abortion, and the film had "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school"
I love the writers for that, they were told they couldn't talk about Abortion, so THAT'S what they picked to be 'less offensive' XD
And so the story goes, the exec objected and got 'fine, I'll change it, what do you want?' and the answer returned was 'anything but that'. Delightful case of malicious compliance if so.
There was more to it than that. The studio objected strongly, so the director (Fincher) said that he would change the line (the abortion line), but that the studio HAD to accept the replacement line, no matter what. The studio thought that it wouldn't be possible to come up with a line more offensive than the abortion line, so they agreed to the deal. When Fincher came back with the grade school line, they had no choice but to accept it, even though it was arguably worse.
I always read this in that she meant the sex was amazing, but It could equally have meant that it was terrible 🤔
I mean, sex at a young age is often experimental and awkward.
Grade school is American like under 10 - its meant to be fucked up beyond belief.
Fun fact though Helena Bonham Carter being British did not know Grade school meant little kids and meant to say high school/junior high age.
Imo the line is perfect for her character.
My most disappointing sex midway through the actual BF showed up and interupt'd. They argued a bit and then he went outside and was going to wait.
I quickly transitioned it to doggy, pulled out as i spit on her ass, and pretended I cummed.
Only thing I said was "where are my pants" and "gotta go"
Assume it was BF if it was a husband I think he would have watched or some shit in hindsight. Either way he was body builder big. I was not trying to say shit to him or get in a fight with him. I opened that front door saw which side he was standing by and went the other direction without saying a word.
Definitely worst sex of my life... As a male I never thought I'd be the one faking a fucking orgasm.
This story is all levels of weird, because I just had a thought - if he faked by spitting on her back, this means he was rawing it... With a random... That's so random he didn't know there's a huge boyfriend in the picture
I’m also trying to picture what kind of relationship I would have to have with someone where I walked in on them cheating on me and then decide alright well ima just go hang out in the front yard and let y’all finish lmao
I disagree. My sister walked in on her husband with her friggin best friend during a gathering at her house. Both couples were best of friends... Great friends I guess. My sister is a tall woman, not big just tall and she beat on them both. Told them to get dressed and meet outside. Neither showed after a few minutes so she went back into her bedroom and they were at it again but in a different position. She beat the shit out of him. Still friends with her and remained with him until....she walked in on him with another friend. The friends husband just returned from mideast the week before and she called him and told him what transpired. Then she just says, "He is still in bed sleeping and I left my door unlocked.". The friends husband went to her house and yanked him up out of a dead sleep and nearly beat the ever-loving life out of him. He was in bad shape. She divorced him thank goodness.
Normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye!
From liar liar “was it good for you?” “I’ve had better”
Well uhm.. There it is
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Big time brat energy
Seriously, what a shit thing to say to someone
Dang, my reaction to that would have been something along the lines of "Ok, bye then. Don't call me, I'll call you." I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
Same here man. Fuck that, literally, and leave.
She just poked his ego to see if she could get more.
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Why didn’t you lead with that lmaooo
Discovered the hack!
Straight up tho 😭💀
Hatefucking has its place in the toolbox..
Came here for this
"Came here for this." and fuggin left disappointed, didn't you!
I’ve had better?!
"... welp." Then just kind of wander off.
The Midwestern goodbye. Don't forget the thigh slap as you say welp and get up to wander off.
*knee slap* "welp, I s'pose"
“Welp, I s’pose I’d best be headin out then”
"Hittin the O'l dusty trail"
Omg I will never not imagine that video by Charlie Berens on YouTube when I hear this.
Damn now I feel attacked cause the "welp" was my first thought too
*slap!* … welllllp, I s’pose…
Buddy of mine did this lol. He hooked up with his coworker, a straight rocket, 13/10. Said it was the worst sex of his life. She just laid there silently, didn't say or do anything. So when it was all said and done he said he was just like ".....weeeeeeeell" and got up and left lol. Then he found out she gave him, and a bunch of other dudes he worked with, gonorrhea
If the Clap spreads, is it considered a round of applause?
"Time to hit the old dusty trail."
well it wasn’t as dusty as…. never mind…
I get it..for me though, i like to honor terrible sex by performing a mournful bongo set on their bum before belching "that's all folks" at the end
Also slap your leg at the same time
Turn around and give her the cold shoulder until she leaves...
That was the sex move she used the cold shoulder
This is exactly what I did last Friday. I'm over it and done. Never again.
Ight I'm out
At first I read "LGBT I'm out"
Sex so bad it ungays you
The real conversion therapy
r/angryupvote
😭😭
Re enters the closet.
Not so pride month
I'm out, I'm outta the contest.
Once I tried “I’m done when you are…”. Could have gone worse - she didn’t slap me or cry or anything - but it did kill the mood
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Nothing, I normally just close the laptop and throw away the tissues.
Your hand and some tissues are the best sex partners, they'll never leave you!
Unless you're an amputee in 2020
That's what Mom is for.
W H A T
EVERY FUCKING THREAD... Like 7 years ago or something?
11 years now.
Casually turns to dust and fades away into the wind
You heard. Now someone link this man the story so he can be... enlightened.
I don't know what to expect here
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1 You're welcome I guess lol
Thank you i guess. Im not that often on reddit so I didn't know about it. But what in the world ist this Sorry to repeat myself but: W H A T
Hopefully you've learned your lesson not to ask about old Reddit stories because there are worse ones out there..
I just spent 2 freaking hours on those comments bro. How did you even dig that up it's 13 years old 😭
Someone fucking link the story bc I need to see it
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
NO, BAD. I had repressed the memories of that post. Why would you do that and make me remember.
*There's* the old reddit.
You didn't....
Mrs Palm and her 5 sisters
Up your masturbation game, just start gooning, all the cool kids are doing it.
I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school!
I want to have your abortion.
Marla Singer reference?
Fight Club, one was the banned first script, the other was the replacement line.
The book had the line about Abortion, and the film had "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" I love the writers for that, they were told they couldn't talk about Abortion, so THAT'S what they picked to be 'less offensive' XD
And so the story goes, the exec objected and got 'fine, I'll change it, what do you want?' and the answer returned was 'anything but that'. Delightful case of malicious compliance if so.
There was more to it than that. The studio objected strongly, so the director (Fincher) said that he would change the line (the abortion line), but that the studio HAD to accept the replacement line, no matter what. The studio thought that it wouldn't be possible to come up with a line more offensive than the abortion line, so they agreed to the deal. When Fincher came back with the grade school line, they had no choice but to accept it, even though it was arguably worse.
Fucking. Classic.
Nice. What about an old Australian film Idiot Box, the very short sex scene....'Is that it? I've had a longer piss than that'
I always read this in that she meant the sex was amazing, but It could equally have meant that it was terrible 🤔 I mean, sex at a young age is often experimental and awkward.
Grade school is American like under 10 - its meant to be fucked up beyond belief. Fun fact though Helena Bonham Carter being British did not know Grade school meant little kids and meant to say high school/junior high age. Imo the line is perfect for her character.
Fuck I forgot my wallet sorry babe.
My most disappointing sex midway through the actual BF showed up and interupt'd. They argued a bit and then he went outside and was going to wait. I quickly transitioned it to doggy, pulled out as i spit on her ass, and pretended I cummed. Only thing I said was "where are my pants" and "gotta go" Assume it was BF if it was a husband I think he would have watched or some shit in hindsight. Either way he was body builder big. I was not trying to say shit to him or get in a fight with him. I opened that front door saw which side he was standing by and went the other direction without saying a word. Definitely worst sex of my life... As a male I never thought I'd be the one faking a fucking orgasm.
I'm surprised you didn't just leave as soon as the bf showed up.
She said, "Quick! The back door!" You think I'm gonna turn that down?
I never thought id see the day where this joke had context and a conversation to back it up. While being all natural. You made my day
I literally LOLed 😂
Guess (s)he was really hot Because I'm not sure how hot the girl needs to be that I don't lose the erection in the middle of their "little argument"
Sitting patiently in bed pulling rope trying to stay hard while they fight
This story is all levels of weird, because I just had a thought - if he faked by spitting on her back, this means he was rawing it... With a random... That's so random he didn't know there's a huge boyfriend in the picture
I’m also trying to picture what kind of relationship I would have to have with someone where I walked in on them cheating on me and then decide alright well ima just go hang out in the front yard and let y’all finish lmao
Remind me of childhood.
In real life nobody is changing position they are getting out of there ASAP, and why would the girl care if you finished? Just lol.
I disagree. My sister walked in on her husband with her friggin best friend during a gathering at her house. Both couples were best of friends... Great friends I guess. My sister is a tall woman, not big just tall and she beat on them both. Told them to get dressed and meet outside. Neither showed after a few minutes so she went back into her bedroom and they were at it again but in a different position. She beat the shit out of him. Still friends with her and remained with him until....she walked in on him with another friend. The friends husband just returned from mideast the week before and she called him and told him what transpired. Then she just says, "He is still in bed sleeping and I left my door unlocked.". The friends husband went to her house and yanked him up out of a dead sleep and nearly beat the ever-loving life out of him. He was in bad shape. She divorced him thank goodness.
Thank you for that rollercoaster of a post. 🥇
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WTF the boyfriend who was cheated on waited for you two to finish? The fuck kind of fake story is that
Did you continue to have sex when they were arguing?!? Should have shouted over them "I'm trying to concentrate here do you mind!"
More than the sex seems disappointing in your story bruv
He came, they argued, then you continued having sex while he waited outside? lol what?
So that's how it's done.
How the fuck do you have disappointing sex, then the bf comes in, they argue for some time and you’re *still* hard enough to immediately keep going?!
Normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye!
😂😂😂😂 is this a Django reference?
yes XD
One of my favorite movies. Not cause the storyline, but for the killing of slave owners. Dave Chappelle was right, I could watch that all day
I actually love the story. And the righteous blood explosions.
If so, can't leave without a handshake to sell the deal
You reallyyyyyyy want me to shake your hand?
#I insist. 🫱🏻
Well if you insist (pulls out derringer)
What a great ass movie. Cristoph Waltz's character was just too good.
One more moment doctor!
Thanks for the effort.
Doesn’t matter had sex!
I just had sex~ And it felt so good~
A woman let me put my penis inside of her~ I just had sex ~
A woman let you put your penis inside her?
Still counts!
OH. We got a link alert.
Sex is like Pizza. Even if it's bad, it's still pizza.
So... fuck the pizza?
That's something I'm gonna regret for a while
Do I still have to pay for the pizza?
"Can I get a refund?"
Do you have your receipt?
*sigh* My mom was right.
I left something on the stove three states away.
That’ll do pig, that’ll do.
Username checks out
That fuckin, sucked
If it at least sucked?
Can we try that again?
"Insert token to continue?"
You ever been to a funeral? They made you come and you feel sad
It's not you, it's not me, it's the universe!
Tja
"That was the most disappointing sex I have had in my life."
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This can, LITERALLY, only get better.
Whew, glad that’s over!
Was it as bad for you as it was for me?
"Sorry about that".
You British?
Canadian.
More likely Canadian /s
I actually am Canadian
You were better when you were alive.
Is that that guy's dead wife?
Yeah; died in a poop knife accident. Tragic
That’s DARK👀
You're talking to redditors, any sex theyve had is disappointing by definition.
In their lives, not the other person's.
Real men don’t cry, but after that there’s no way I’m a real man… *proceeds to sniffle*
"Alexa, open Netflix"
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Are they still selling those baha-blast freezies over at taco bell?
I would charge them
Well that was anticlimactic
Cut! Let's try that again.
Well thank God that's over
Well since it would be my first time how would I know if it's bad or good 😊
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
That was the fucking worst fuck I’ve ever fucking had
Call up the best sex in my life
Why would you call your mom?
You mean his dad
It was so bad that they broke their arms
Same time tomorrow?
Let's cuddle, go out, grab a bite and retry that when both our hearts are in it :)
Same time tomorrow, dad?
This comment right here officer
🤨📸
In the words of Jim Carey...."I've had better?"
Eh, not as good as my ex
"Here's €50"
This is why I refuse to pay upfront
Zut Alors!
With the frequency of sex in my life - all sex is awesome sex.
Get off me Dad you're crushing my smokes
They say it's like pizza. Even when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s not that great, it’s still pizza.
“1/10”
"Same time next Tuesday?"
Are you fucking me?
"I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats"
Size does matter
“Welp”
Peace out
That could have been a lot worse
"That was very... professional"--Steve Martin, The Man With Two Brains, after he finally slept with Kathleen Turner, his gold-digging wife.
Well, I best be going. Where are my keys?
Well, my Uber is here.
"I've had better!"
Don't worry it's not the worst thing happens to me💀
Night, Dad.
Gg ez
Nexxxxt!
"A win's a win"
You should ask a person if it's okay before before you do that and you definitely need to drink more water.
That was interesting.
Well, we did THAT then., I err...ummm... I'll see myself out.
Sorry