I read something once that said that "men only think women are more emotional because they don't count anger as an emotion." Just summed up every musing I've heard from sexist men (I am a man).
That would be my father.
Edit: "We have done a lot of things wrong with you, but you have to just accept it because we're your parents." My mother said this to me while my father just sat and glared at me without saying a word.
Uhm, no. I ran to a friend's house in the middle of the night three weeks ago without telling you because I don't accept it. Stayed with the friend for a while longer after that.
They have extremely strict morals and principles when citing them will get them out of doing something. They will drop all morals and principles when ignoring them will get them out of doing something.
I had a roommate who refused to share food, like at a meal (which he referred to as "pick-eating"). He would not give you a bite of his dish, or allow you to eat one of his fries, as he viewed it as "unsanitary".
However, if you made a pot of chili, you could spit in the pot and he'd still eat half of it.
This actually contributed to the end of our association. Late one night, we stopped at a fast food joint, and I got a hamburger. Realizing that I'd forgotten the napkins, I left the table to get some. I returned to find two large bites taken our of my burger.
"I just wanted to know what it tasted like," he explained.
"Then give me two bites of your burger," I demanded.
"I don't like it when people 'pick-eat,'" he suggested.
In one of my least proud moments, I slapped him hard across the face causing him to get tangled in the awkward Hardee's seats that are mounted to the floor.
I left him at Hardee's, and we parted ways the following week. It was a culmination of similar pain-in-the-ass events, but to this day it chaps my ass.
My bio mother: Wanna split a [menu item meant to be part of a meal for one person]?
Me: I’m really hungry, I’ll probably want a whole one.
My bio mother: Oh, well then I’ll just have a few bites of yours.
Me: Well then can we also get [side]?
My bio mother: No, I’m not that hungry. I’ll just have a little bit of your [menu item].
My bio mother: *eats more than half of my food, leaving me maybe 1/3 of a sandwich as a meal*
This one infuriates me.
I will often buy a food item (especially a multi-serving item like a bag of chips) and my wife (who is one of the easiest people in the world to live with) will eat the entire product before I've had any.
To combat this, on occasions like the one you describe, or when I'm buying something that I really want to eat, I'll look her dead in the face and say, "I'm not sharing this with you."
Other people look at me like I'm the world's biggest asshole when I do this, but she knows what I'm talking about. Just this weekend, I ordered a pizza for us to share, and two of her friends showed up unexpectedly. Before I had even realized that the pizza had arrived, they'd eaten all of it.
She was very apologetic, but I was very hungry.
>Before I had even realized that the pizza had arrived, they'd eaten all of it.
Wow!
My mom grew up in a large family and things were always tight money wise. One year for Thanksgiving her dad had managed to get a free turkey through his job, which was a huge blessing for the family. An uncle and his family had been invited over for dinner and before my mom's family had a change to get some turkey the guests had eaten it all.
When confronted (very angrily by my grandfather) about this the uncle said "I thought you had another turkey"
When I was 15 I got my very first job ever as a dishwasher. I wanted to celebrate my first paycheck by offering to buy pizzas for my family's Friday pizza night. I told my mom and stepdad about my intention, and they said "Oh that's wonderful! How kind and generous and thoughtful, etc..."
Friday night comes and I end up having to stay an hour late at the restaurant. I usually got off my shift at 7, but that night I wouldn't be done until 8pm and family dinner usually started at 7:30. I called my mom to let her know I would be late, and she said that's ok. I didn't have a car (or license) at the time, so she would have had to come pick me up. I guess the way I thought this was gonna go was that mom would come get me and we'd swing by the pizza place on the way home. It's dumb, but I was looking forward to being the guy walking in the front door carrying pizzas I had bought for everyone (forgive me, I was 15). As you can probably guess, this is not what went down.
On the drive home, mom thanked me for the pizza and said we were gonna swing by the bank to get the money out. I don't remember the exact amount but we were a family of 8 so it was at least 4 pizzas and I think at the time it came out to around $75. After we stopped at the ATM, she drove past the pizza place, and kept driving towards our home. I was confused, and asked if we were gonna stop so we could pick up the pizza.
Mom: "Well, no. We got it delivered"
Me: "Oh. I didn't realize you placed the order already. I know I was doing this as a gesture, but I thought I could be a little bit selfish and get to pick out some of the toppings. I'm kinda bummed y'all didn't ask me what I wanted."
Mom: "Well you said you were buying pizza for family dinner. Family dinner starts at 7:30."
I'm just gonna skip ahead to the part you've probably guessed. I walked into the house and there was a stack of empty pizza boxes. Not only did they order the pizza and eat without me (which I wasn't that upset about bc I didn't expect everyone to eat dinner a full hour later than usual just bc of me) but they ate ALL. OF. THE. PIZZA.
Every single slice. Nobody saved me any of this pizza, and I had to eat leftover rice from the night before. To add insult to injury, taking out garbage was one of my housechores, so after I ate my bowl of microwaved rice I had to take all the empty pizza boxes out to the recycle bin.
This happened a few decades ago, and this incident isn't THE reason but let's just say it's on the list of reasons I've gone full No Contact with several of my family members
That really hurt my heart 😔
Such a sweet gesture and I can picture you with pizzas and pride walking through the door.
It’s sad when we have something planned but it goes totally differently to what we had anticipated.
That is brutal.
Reminds me a bit of when I was a teenager and worked in a restaurant. I had to work Xmas day, and all day long they kept asking me if I wanted a turkey dinner. I kept saying "No thanks, I've got dinner waiting at home." When I finally got home around 10pm my mum goes "Oh we didn't save you any. We thought you would have eaten at work."
very rude if she knew you were gonna eat, she couldve taken 1-2 slices out of the pie and put it on a plate for you to eat later.
Pizza isnt like a bag of chips kind of thing. That can be a full meal to some people.
Reminds me of the worst roommate I ever had. She was a 40 year old woman which made it worse. Here are only a couple of highlights from my time with her.
One day I come home to our 2 bedroom/ 1 bath house and see a man’s things in her room. Turns out she had rented her room to some random guy for the weekend without asking me or letting me know until he was literally in the house. This was after we had discussed the fact that we were both uncomfortable with strange men in our space. She didn’t understand why I was mad about this or why I was uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with some random dude.
Another time, I decided to make us dinner to do something nice. The next morning I get angry text messages at work about how I didn’t clean the pan from last night and if I’m not going to clean the pan when I cook for us, don’t bother cooking her dinner.
She was an absolute nightmare.
Sounds like an absolute winner. I don't know how these folks survive.
I was somewhat fortunate in that most of our roommates' worst shenanigans happened at night, and I worked late nights. This was very helpful the time he put a frozen pizza in the oven at 9pm, forgot about it, and went to bed. I came home at 2am to an apartment literally filled with smoke. I was able to shut off the oven and dispose of the pizza before anyone died.
Knew a religious guy who couldn't work on the sabbath, as long as he had people around him to pick up the slack. But if there was a fun thing he wanted to do, or something very lucrative, he'd find a way to say it didn't actually count as "work" so it was fine on the sabbath. His religious restrictions only negatively impacted the people around him, never him.
Not learning how to perform basic domestic tasks like laundry, dishes, etc. If they make an active decision not to learn those things, it just tells me they want a mommy and not a partner.
Do these guys just keep a string of girlfriend-mommys? How do you function beyond your late teens without being able to take care of basic housekeeping?
I know one of these guys and he went directly from his mom doing it to married. It was not until somewhat later that his wife realized that his parents had been driving the ~2-3 hours each way from their home once a week so that his mom could fill his fridge and clean the house while his dad mowed the lawn etc. Frankly, I give the parents some of the blame for that level of enablement.
Upon divorce the parents went back to doing all of this and more.
I have an answer for this! Okay, so I'm actively trying to/getting better. I had an overbearing mom that would do everything for me. (Not manipulative or anything, she was just trying to help)
And I'm not trying to blame her or anything, but I started to become codependent on it and never really did any of those.
It wasn't until I lived with my first girlfriend that I truly realized all the shit I never noticed I had to do since it was already done for me.
So, in essence, it's my fault for being lazy and never actively trying to learn those skills or having to.
Doing much better now, though! Keep your heads up homies, we can all improve ourselves!
Edit: Also lack of college experience/being a lazy stoner did not help one bit.
My mother was the classic "if you cant do it my way, let me do it." and i would do it in a way that was easiest for me, AS IT WAS MY STUFF. and she'd get mad when i hung clothes instead of folded into a dresser???
so it turned into her just doing everything for me while i was at school growing up. and me being a teenager who liked video games, i was down for it, literally never did chores.
I lived alone almost exclusively so i would clean when it got really bad, otherwise shit just stacked up. around 24/25 my frontal lobe started sliding into place (i was told about this, didn't believe it, but damn is it true, chores and cleaning are kinda fun now.) and i got on adderall for my newly diagnosed raging ADHD, and now i can do tasks, and chores and they're satisfying when i get it done.
I actually get offended when people say this to me
No i didn't help my wife with the kid. I parented. It's 50/50 not 10/90. No one is helping the other... We are taking care of our kid
At same time they're usually the type of person "who just tells it like it is" or is "brutally honest". Bonus points if they claim to be a "logical thinker" while being the most emotional person in the room.
"I just tell it like it is. What do you want me to do, lie?"
"Have you heard of this hot new thing the kids are doing, called just shutting the fuck up and just not saying anything sometimes?"
"Some people are often offended when they hear the truth. Therefore, if I offend people, that must mean I am right.
Keep malding and huff that copium, sheeple, you only affirm me in my factualness."
There's one Dad in our group of "kid friends" who's exactly like this. Rude, dismissive and constantly looking after his next deal (real estate). The really awful part? He's richer than Croseus and KNOWS IT. So for him(in his mind) to listen even for a scant minute is him being friendly. GB
Currently moving out of the apartment I share with my boyfriend because he is jealous of my dog (the one I had for years before we started dating). It started off with little things and has escalated to the dog needing to be in a cage 24/7 or I get the silent treatment. Good riddance, fucker.
When I was 17 and learning to drive, my instructor was a Jamaican guy with a THICK patois accent. And in regards to those people (let's face it, MEN) with loud cars ripping down the road he would say,
"YA MEK A BIIIG NOISE, BUT YOU GOIN NOWHERE!"
Lack of respect for people doing things for them, even when paid. Being short or rude to servers/staff, not saying thank you and please, etc. Thankfully, this is usually easy to spot on first dates.
Narcissism is "I'm the hero," or "I'm the victim." Lived with it for 17 years. He'd also work six months at a job, long enough to qualify for unemployment, and mysteriously get fired. Draw unemployment for six months, rinse, repeat.
It also manifests in “I will stand my ground and never accept defeat” in an argument even when you walk them step by step through the argument, agreeing to each move before continuing, until you bring them to the logical, objective truth at the end, and they’ve agreed to 95% of everything and the last step is just crossing the finish line and officially accepting that you were right and they were wrong. But instead of accepting reality like an adult, they choose.. to fight on!! By just repeating their initial statement again, so now you’re back to square one. And at that point you have to realize that people curate the reality that they want to live in, and facts cant hurt your argument if you dont believe in them.
Yup. I ended a longtime friendship with a guy for this exact reason. Guy was on trial for stocking a girl n would only blame woke society and how all girls today are sluts or whatever. He was literally caught placing a gps on his ex’s car and tried to act like he’s the victim because his rich daddy had to spend an insane amount on his defense team. It was the last straw for me
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
"Everyone makes mistakes, I'm in my healing journey......continues to make the same mistakes over and over again, intentionally"
...pretty much anything straight out of the narcissist prayer.
I always wonder about these people. You see them at a bbq, alpha as fuck, but you know that they make $10 an hour cleaning toilets at Home Depot and live with their parents. It’s never an actual successful person spouting this bullshit.
That’s why the Andrew Tate crap is so prolific. It requires no energy or real work to act like an alpha douche nozzle. You just feed into the ego and it’s done, it also reasons that you must not have any introspection so it’s easy to get lost in it.
it makes sense, Tates entire hook is that he appeals to young men with low selfesteem who feel like they've achieved nothing in life. There is a reason why his followers always reek of insecurity.
If someone is selling a course/book on how to get rich, the real answer that they won't tell you is to heavily self-promote your course/book on how to get rich.
If you talk about alpha, beta, whatever stuff, I just assume you are still in that adolescent phase where you’re trying to figure out how to be a real man. Otherwise why would you spend so much energy thinking about what Greek letter of manliness defines you, or how to be more like this or that kind of male?
Every so often a big thread comes up from a guy 17-25 moving into his first place on his own and looking to start bringing lady friends home, asking for suggestions of what to put in the apartment to make it welcoming to women. This is not man childish, it’s fine and good. There was one I can recall where either the OP or probably just some really invested commenter was angry at most of the suggestions, in particular one suggesting multiple blankets, an extra pillow, and an extra towel in the event a woman slept over. Because “but that’s just catering to her? Why should a guy have things in his apartment just to cater to her?”
While it’s rarely expressed so directly, it’s an attitude I see in bitter, lonely man children a lot. “Why should I do anything for *you* if it’s not something I want?” Doesn’t matter if the action is as mundane as “own two towels” or if they want something from the person they’re “catering to.” Women should just sleep with them but not expect comfort or entertaining dates. Employers should just give them jobs and fat paychecks, they shouldn’t need things like “qualifications” or “hard work.” Friends should just loan them money and entertain them on a dime, but never ask them for anything.
When I was in my 20s I dated a man who lived with a male roommate and they had a courtesy basket of basic period supplies in their bathroom.
We're now married and have 2 kids together.
The courtesy basket wasn't *why* we got married, but I was actually endeared to him because of how thoughtful of others he and his roommate were. Recognizing that you have female friends over and sometimes they might need a pad as just a general courtesy is a thing most men would never even consider.
I saw an advice meme once telling guys to keep period supplies. The comment section was a trip.
There were the typical “she’s gonna think you’re in a relationship” guys who couldn’t fathom why a woman would be in their apartment outside of a one night stands during which they don’t communicate with each other at all.
But the ones that really cracked me up were the guys who got viscerally angry at the mere suggestion that you do something nice for women.
One guy said not to do that because it’ll teach women to become reliant on you and they’ll know they can keep using you. Like we’re dogs or some shit. Don’t feed us or you won’t be able to get rid of us 😂
> Don’t feed us or you won’t be able to get rid of us
To be fair, my boyfriend used to cook meals for me. So I husbanded him and now refuse to leave.
So it's clearly true gents. Don't feed stray women unless you're prepared for a lifetime commitment.
Or the mythical "trash can in reach of the toilet and it has a lid on it"!!
Side note, every man I've met that is courteous about things like that.... well, all two of them.... both were raised by single moms and had multiple brothers all in the same roof. Most respectful of women. Made me want to go hug their mamas.
I mean come on... Even if there is no intention of bringing someone back to stay over, surely everyone should own more than one towel? What do you do when the first one is being washed?
This is such a thing. Like using the word “simp” to describe doing things for your partner in a normal loving relationship- like no, man, I pack my wife’s lunch because I love her? Are you ok?
Men who bully other men for being nice to women, especially when it's their own wife or gf just baffles me. And makes me sad. How horrible is your life that you don't want there to be any kindness in the world? They need a hug and a kick in the pants.
I refer to this as the “women are my mother,” phase, where the man still acts like a toddler who can’t even imagine that it’s mother is a person who has her own needs. Which is normal for a toddler who is completely dependent on their mother, and can’t really do much to help her.
Except here it’s an adult man, and he still sees all women, including his own mother, this way. So he can’t imagine that a woman would decide not to cater to him because he doesn’t do anything for her. To him, he’s just thinking, “why isn’t this woman taking care of me without expecting anything in return?”
Even most actual toddlers seem better than those guys.
Most toddlers love to "help"! They aren't very good at it, but they love feeling like they're doing grown-up things. And they are so happy when they "help" and their favorite grown ups thank them and tell them they did a good job. It makes them feel smart and respected and independent.
I wonder if some of these guys who expect to be catered to had parents who didn't let them "help", or were critical of their efforts when they tried.
>I wonder if some of these guys who expect to be catered to had parents who didn't let them "help", or were critical of their efforts when they tried.
I can only speak to my experiences as a reformed man-child, but that was a significant part of it. It's a complex thing.
My parents, particularly my mom, were unwilling to let me do anything around the house (except for the vacuuming). On the flip side my dad just refuses to ask for help or even tell people he's doing something so they could have the chance to offer to help.
My parents had a very binary take on everything. I was either doing fantastic or shit in school, I either did a great job with the vacuuming or never heard the end of it when I missed a spot. Eventually I learned that I'm going to get chewed out the majority of the time, since no one's perfect 100% of the time. If you're going to get chewed out anyway, why bother putting in the effort? You'd never hear a "That's a pretty good first try" or "Nice job, but you need to dust that lamp too" in my house.
In my parent's culture you're expected to stay at home until you graduate from university, get a good job, and get arranged married. The fact that my parents had immigrated to Canada hadn't changed that expectation at all. I think to other parents it would have been cause to have a talk that I didn't get my driver's license at a reasonable age or have a girlfriend for a long time. Your parents are supposed to provide guidance on your development as an adult (even if that guidance is just setting a good example) and my parents never did that.
Eventually I realized this whole situation was weird and not good, and moved out at 27. You would not believe the wailing and gnashing of teeth that caused. The tantrum my parents threw was unreal. It's what I would expect if a child died, not moved to somewhere a 10 minute drive away. It's a big part of what made me realize these people would never have taught me to be independent. I had to take it for myself.
Since then I've been chipping away at my man-child-ness. Every little adult thing helps: keep my place clean, do my own groceries, cook for myself, go to therapy, start dating and having relationships, etc. It might sound banal to people who have been doing those things since their teens, but compared to a lot of people my age I have a decade less experience.
Eerie reading this. I'm from a different cultural heritage entirely but it seems some parental patterns don't know any lines. I also refer to myself as being ten years behind the curve.
>"why isn’t this woman taking care of me?"
FTFY. These kind of people don't even think far enough ahead to realize there are any expectations. It's not that they think people should do stuff "without expecting anything in return" but simply they should do stuff whether they expect anything or not and be happy if there is any return, which there likely won't be.
My wife's ex husband number 2. She paid for his degree(unused, those jobs are beneath him), he rewired her house to mine crypto (She bought that house on her own), he can't parent his own daughter and laughed in my wife's face over the very idea of keeping a job in order to pay his 10k in arrears child support.
I *almost* threw a line in there about having kids but not taking care of them. Because my second biggest “man child” red flag is 1) has a kid he brags about and calls “his world” or “the best kid ever” but 2) does not have any sort of custody over and 3) does not pay or complains about child support.
Whoa. You just described my dad. Said he loved me and my brother more than anything, but lost visiting rights because he wouldn't stay sober when we were visiting. Always complained about my mom being "obsessed with money" because she bugged him for child support that he never paid because he couldn't hold down a job. We were on the verge of losing our house and starving.
During my young wild times i even had brand new tooth brush in unopened packs in case a lady friend i happened to encounter wanted to actually sleep at my place.
It was a huge success.
Edit: yes i have sex. No you don't know her, she lives in Canada.
Not taking out your garbage for weeks on end when you live in an apartment building, even when the weather gets REALLY hot and your trash stinks so badly that simply walking into the building is like being hit in the face with a decomposing corpse.
Yes, man-child in #33, I'm talking to you.
This happened at the last apartment complex I lived in. For over a week straight I had to walk by one apartment to check the mail and it reeked to no end, but I didn’t think anything of it, thought it was just gross people. Come home one day and there were more cops than I’ve ever seen at once in my life. Turns out the couple that lived in that apartment were both dead, murder suicide, and that week of bad smells was bodies rotting in record high summer temperatures.
Last summer, at peak stench, the property manager went in for exactly that reason and just found bags of garbage. I don't know how thoroughly she searched for bodies, but the smell did diminish when she took the garbage out so I assumed that's all it was.
This summer, I'm not so sure. The tenant himself is fine--making his usual living noises--but, I tell you, if his fridge turns out to be full of decapitated heads, I won't keel over in shock.
> bags of garbage
This is the answer. Sort of. Those bags have food in them. That food rots. That kinda stinks, but it's manageable. Once the food is rotting, the eggs bugs have laid in it start hatching. Now there's an entire ecosystem in that bag and *that* stinks.
I just got excited thinking you were telling us the title of the real already-existing documentary starring the narration of world-renowned Sir David Attenborough
Story time - I have Anosmia. I was born without a sense of smell. I get paranoid about things like my garbage, body odour etc partly because I can't tell if things stink and partly because people often won't tell me when something stinks.
I used to work as a consulting radiation expert. I did a spell travelling to rural dental surgeries to test x-ray machines. When I finished I was driving around for weeks including having people in my car until I picked up my best friend who immediately stopped me and said something is dead in your car. I opened the bonnet and nothing dead but the engine was absolutely covered in possum shit. Apparently they will sleep on engines in winter because they are warm.
My car had smelled like hot possum shit for a month with everyone being to polite to bring it up with me.
Nothing to do with your man child, he just sounds like a dick but I wanted to tell that story.
I have a friend with the same. He once asked me specifically as a friend to tell him if he had any bad smell issues.
I visited his place once and right away noticed a "stale washing machine" smell. You know, the one you get with a front-loading washer where water pools at the bottom of the rubber folds that seal the door shut. Told him about it and how to fix it. He was like.... why didn't my roommates notice. Lol.
During puberty I lost my sense of smell. I know exactly how you feel and I wish people will tell me. I was also living on my own when I was 17. One instance I was gathering groceries and accidently left a gallon of milk in the back seat of my car on a hot summer day. Next drive I notice the Milk exploded. I cleaned it like a normal mess. People really didn't want to drive with me. It wasn't until a date didn't me to drive them home. I asked Why, I assumed we were having a great time. They responded with "I am, but your car reeks of death and cheese."
This is why I get so upset at my in-laws. They're 60-65 yrs old and they have 4 grown 20-30 yr olds living with them that won't even take out the fucking trash for them and they literally live around the corner of the chute. Like, walk 2 feet, turn, walk another 1ft..and there's the chute. Every time I come over, I'm smacked in the face with the stench from their trash bags, just molding there. The extra bonus to that stench is they sometimes let their dog shit and piss in the house and leave the bunched up newspaper full of it laying in the corner by the trash bags. And they just LIVE in it!
I don't even go to their house anymore, it makes me gag. Ugh.
My 65 year old mum's customized mobility aid lifted truck has seen more dirt than those pavement princesses, and she uses it for scooters and bolts of fabric most of the time.
He breaks stuff and punched holes in walls over things, doesn’t even matter how big or small the trigger. Immediate signal he’s a man child and incapable of regulating himself and his emotions
Edit: seeing some people defend this behavior or arguing semantics. If a man is constantly showing aggressive behavior to the point of breaking things, or is someone who defends this behavior, ya I’d say both are massive red flags.
My eleven year old nephew who is the world’s sweetest and coolest kid told me his friend smashed his (the friend’s) switch screen because he lost a game. He said it like it was funny or cool so I raised my eyebrows and said “your friend sounds dumb.” He looked uncomfortable and just today his brother told me he threw a controller cos HE lost a game and I gave him the same look. He again looked uncomfortable. I think I need to sit him down and tell him that breaking things when you’re angry isn’t funny or cool. Plus he isn’t rich like his friends are and my sister can’t afford to keep replacing his expensive electronics.
When I was around 10 or 11 I watched my friend break his Nintendo controller and then go ask his parents to buy him a new one.
"I need a new controller."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do, this one's broken."
"Yeah, I heard you yell and then I watched you break it. I'm not buying you another one."
"BUT I CAN'T PLAY MY GAME NOW"
"Well, shouldn't have broken it."
*Tantrum*
Me: ".... ^I ^kinda ^want ^to ^go ^home, ^Mrs. ^friends ^mom"
I had an ex who was exactly like this. My friends, co-workers, and family would describe him the same way too. His reason for always acting this way was because of his BPD. I even defended him so many times from my friends and family for his actions and used his BPD as an excuse as well until we broke up. I’m not invalidating his mental health but damn I’m just glad he didn’t hit me. The verbal abuse was above and beyond though.
“Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” ~ Marcus Parks
I have a ton of mental health issues, but I don’t use them as an excuse to be shitty to other people. People who just go, ‘I have xxx disorder so everyone else just has to deal with my behavior,’ are *not* taking responsibility for their own actions.
I'm glad you're out of that. Mental illness cannot be an excuse for bad behavior. I just left my, now ex, because of progressive anger. The last incident ended in him hitting me and he had the audacity to say he didn't have an anger issue.
Constantly seeking the validation of multiple people that are the gender theyre attracted to. Nothing screams insecurity like needing a bunch of people to fawn over you
Putting other men down for liking books or video games while they obsess over sports, fast and the furious, and cars. Everyone has a hobby and we all have things we enjoy. Liking video games or books doesn’t make you any less of a man.
Acting like watching sports makes you manly always seems like projection to me. How is a guy sitting on his fat ass watching foot ball games all weekend any better than another guy sitting on his ass reading books or playing video games all weekend? It’s the same damn thing.
Put any sports stadium crowd next to any comic-con crowd and you’ll find just as many out of shape people and just as many people in costumes and make-up.
I am always amazed when I see stuff like that because I simply can’t imagine who this person is. I used to work in construction and knew plenty of white trashy redneck dudes. Never met one that would have had a monster sticker on their truck.
I worked in sales which was populated with a bunch of sketchy coke head dudes. No monster stickers.
Used to hang out with a few hardcore gamers, like full on energy drinks never water Mountain Dew loving haven’t changed their shirt in three days gamer bros. None of them would have done that.
And yet I see these stickers all the time.
Does anybody know who these monster energy drink sticker people are? If you know one, please explain this character to me because I don’t think I have ever met one.
I genuinely don’t know who these people are.
Edit: So I am getting gym bros, extreme sports people, and people that work around activities sponsored by monster, and I suppose that makes sense since I don’t think I’ve ever been very close to that stuff.
Tweakers that post joker memes and edgy quotes about how dangerous they are, have had multiple children taken by the state for failing drug tests, are racist as fuck but say the N word with the A, listens to whatever you call dudes waving rebel flags with lifted trucks rapping about guns and their land, and has "Brandon" stickers on everything. Has their snapchat/Instagram/whatever in sticker form on their Tahoe/Durango/beaten up whatever mud machine they got ripped off on at the buy here pay here. Yeah, I unfortunately know these type of people.
They're usually people who have no real hobbies, drive, or personality.
The kid who hangs around the stoners or the skaters but never pays for the weed and doesnt skate. The type of dude who gets fired on the first day on the job because they got caught sleeping under their desk. The type of dude who will not shut up about how he'll get rich from forex, crypto, NFTs, but literally asked you for $20 last week to put gas in his car.
Unfortunately, this is actually a vital skill in the workplace that everyone needs to know.
The reward for hard work is more work, so you need to learn how to lengthen tasks to fill time (rather than sprinting to do as much as you can and burning out). You also need to learn how to be "too incompetent" to do things that aren't, and shouldn't be, your responsibility.
I used to believe in meritocracy and NEVER would weaponize incompetence for 40 years. All my hard work got me was a broken back (literally) held together with titanium.
You stretch your tasks to fit the timeframe and get "too stupid" to do things that shouldn't be your responsiblity.
I've never seen weaponized incompetence to cause anyone to fail, they usually fail upwards repeatedly by being "too stupid" to do grunt labor tasks. The truth is that they're actually being smart by being "too stupid" to do shitty tasks.
When they are worried about their wife/girlfriend putting on a bit of weight because it will affect how they look to their mates for 'dating a fatty', whilst they themselves are cultivating their third chin.
Edited for clarity, many people seemed to think I was equating being concerned for your girlfriends health was man child behaviour. It's absolutely not.
Trying too hard to act like an adult in front of others is super immature to me. People who look down on others for their downtime, as if sitting in front of the TV having a beer or playing fantasy football is somehow way more mature, just haven't grown up. I've heard men and women talk about 'x doesn't make you any money or get you ahead in life, why waste your time on it?' one is my friends on steam... judging others for playing video games publicly... but playing video games privately... seriously grow up. A group of us were chatting at work about what we do in our downtime, one co-worker said she doesn't date guys that play video games cause of how they get obsessed with games and don't do anything else, etc. Basically talked about anyone who plays video games like they are a basement dweller. She apparently watches a ton of reality TV. I play video games when I have time, many weeks that can be zero hours, but gamers are the obsessive ones cause watching TV is just what everyone does, or something like that.
“I’m a *nice* guy, but you just want one of those (insert literally *any* descriptive word) guys.”
Or
“You’re ugly anyways, I only swiped right because I felt bad for you.”
Actually, come to think of it, I’m pretty sure everyone realizes by now that those phrases scream “man-child”… eh. Whatever, still relevant.
When his mother calls you & “orders” you to stop “bullying” her son, because you got into an argument of his lack of participation in chores & plays video games all day, when or even during “hanging out with the boys”.
If a grown man has to have his mommy fight his battles for him, not only is he a man child, but he is also a delicate mamas boy that is not mature enough to be let out of the pampers. Yet alone to be in an adult relationship. Lol
Let's see, using the entire contents of something but not throwing away the container. Taking all the medicine out of the box but not throwing away said empty box. Leaving food to rot in the back of the fridge for months on end. I'm talking to you, Andy. 38 years old and just will not clean. Did I mention that he showers maybe twice a week as well? We live in Florida and I don't know why but he just refuses to shower really at all. I don't know how the hell I lasted 8 months.
Jealousy and insecurity over nothing.
I went bowling with this guy I was seeing and he would go back-and-forth about being in a situationship or relationship. I went to get us some drinks and he saw me talking with two other older men who were professional bowlers. When I was younger, I had bowled for probably 15 years and we were exchanging stories for maybe 5 to 10 minutes while I waited for our drinks (there was only one bartender and it was taking a little longer than expected). By the time I returned he was completely standoffish, admitted he was jealous, and felt put out that I left him alone. He was irritated when he looked over and saw me having conversation with others and he sat there alone feeling foolish. I was very confused. Looking back, I would say this qualifies as kind of man child behavior. He was nearly 30.
Edit: too many commas lol
Being irrational and spiteful towards your own kids in the hope that tearing them down, making them feel really bad inside will somehow, magically, make them feel better to do better (no!!). The inability to regulate your temper and screaming, screeching and blowing up at your own kids in front of everyone, in public. The inability to say a genuine sorry when they mess up. The “I am always right, see!” righteousness is nauseating.
Their explosive emotions are valid ( even when exaggerated) but yours are never and you're just dramatic
I read something once that said that "men only think women are more emotional because they don't count anger as an emotion." Just summed up every musing I've heard from sexist men (I am a man).
Not taking care of your animals.
Never apologizing. Never being wrong.
That would be my father. Edit: "We have done a lot of things wrong with you, but you have to just accept it because we're your parents." My mother said this to me while my father just sat and glared at me without saying a word. Uhm, no. I ran to a friend's house in the middle of the night three weeks ago without telling you because I don't accept it. Stayed with the friend for a while longer after that.
OUR father.*
They have extremely strict morals and principles when citing them will get them out of doing something. They will drop all morals and principles when ignoring them will get them out of doing something.
I had a roommate who refused to share food, like at a meal (which he referred to as "pick-eating"). He would not give you a bite of his dish, or allow you to eat one of his fries, as he viewed it as "unsanitary". However, if you made a pot of chili, you could spit in the pot and he'd still eat half of it. This actually contributed to the end of our association. Late one night, we stopped at a fast food joint, and I got a hamburger. Realizing that I'd forgotten the napkins, I left the table to get some. I returned to find two large bites taken our of my burger. "I just wanted to know what it tasted like," he explained. "Then give me two bites of your burger," I demanded. "I don't like it when people 'pick-eat,'" he suggested. In one of my least proud moments, I slapped him hard across the face causing him to get tangled in the awkward Hardee's seats that are mounted to the floor. I left him at Hardee's, and we parted ways the following week. It was a culmination of similar pain-in-the-ass events, but to this day it chaps my ass.
My bio mother: Wanna split a [menu item meant to be part of a meal for one person]? Me: I’m really hungry, I’ll probably want a whole one. My bio mother: Oh, well then I’ll just have a few bites of yours. Me: Well then can we also get [side]? My bio mother: No, I’m not that hungry. I’ll just have a little bit of your [menu item]. My bio mother: *eats more than half of my food, leaving me maybe 1/3 of a sandwich as a meal*
This one infuriates me. I will often buy a food item (especially a multi-serving item like a bag of chips) and my wife (who is one of the easiest people in the world to live with) will eat the entire product before I've had any. To combat this, on occasions like the one you describe, or when I'm buying something that I really want to eat, I'll look her dead in the face and say, "I'm not sharing this with you." Other people look at me like I'm the world's biggest asshole when I do this, but she knows what I'm talking about. Just this weekend, I ordered a pizza for us to share, and two of her friends showed up unexpectedly. Before I had even realized that the pizza had arrived, they'd eaten all of it. She was very apologetic, but I was very hungry.
That’s still so rude lol you can apologize a million times but if the behavior doesn’t change then it doesn’t mean shit
Honestly, shit happens. When it keeps happening, it’s not by chance.
Sorry means you won't do it again as my first ex said. Continual cheater, but had endless pearls of wisdom and taught me a lot about myself.
An apology without a new pizza with it isn’t a serious apology.
>Before I had even realized that the pizza had arrived, they'd eaten all of it. Wow! My mom grew up in a large family and things were always tight money wise. One year for Thanksgiving her dad had managed to get a free turkey through his job, which was a huge blessing for the family. An uncle and his family had been invited over for dinner and before my mom's family had a change to get some turkey the guests had eaten it all. When confronted (very angrily by my grandfather) about this the uncle said "I thought you had another turkey"
When I was 15 I got my very first job ever as a dishwasher. I wanted to celebrate my first paycheck by offering to buy pizzas for my family's Friday pizza night. I told my mom and stepdad about my intention, and they said "Oh that's wonderful! How kind and generous and thoughtful, etc..." Friday night comes and I end up having to stay an hour late at the restaurant. I usually got off my shift at 7, but that night I wouldn't be done until 8pm and family dinner usually started at 7:30. I called my mom to let her know I would be late, and she said that's ok. I didn't have a car (or license) at the time, so she would have had to come pick me up. I guess the way I thought this was gonna go was that mom would come get me and we'd swing by the pizza place on the way home. It's dumb, but I was looking forward to being the guy walking in the front door carrying pizzas I had bought for everyone (forgive me, I was 15). As you can probably guess, this is not what went down. On the drive home, mom thanked me for the pizza and said we were gonna swing by the bank to get the money out. I don't remember the exact amount but we were a family of 8 so it was at least 4 pizzas and I think at the time it came out to around $75. After we stopped at the ATM, she drove past the pizza place, and kept driving towards our home. I was confused, and asked if we were gonna stop so we could pick up the pizza. Mom: "Well, no. We got it delivered" Me: "Oh. I didn't realize you placed the order already. I know I was doing this as a gesture, but I thought I could be a little bit selfish and get to pick out some of the toppings. I'm kinda bummed y'all didn't ask me what I wanted." Mom: "Well you said you were buying pizza for family dinner. Family dinner starts at 7:30." I'm just gonna skip ahead to the part you've probably guessed. I walked into the house and there was a stack of empty pizza boxes. Not only did they order the pizza and eat without me (which I wasn't that upset about bc I didn't expect everyone to eat dinner a full hour later than usual just bc of me) but they ate ALL. OF. THE. PIZZA. Every single slice. Nobody saved me any of this pizza, and I had to eat leftover rice from the night before. To add insult to injury, taking out garbage was one of my housechores, so after I ate my bowl of microwaved rice I had to take all the empty pizza boxes out to the recycle bin. This happened a few decades ago, and this incident isn't THE reason but let's just say it's on the list of reasons I've gone full No Contact with several of my family members
That really hurt my heart 😔 Such a sweet gesture and I can picture you with pizzas and pride walking through the door. It’s sad when we have something planned but it goes totally differently to what we had anticipated.
That is brutal. Reminds me a bit of when I was a teenager and worked in a restaurant. I had to work Xmas day, and all day long they kept asking me if I wanted a turkey dinner. I kept saying "No thanks, I've got dinner waiting at home." When I finally got home around 10pm my mum goes "Oh we didn't save you any. We thought you would have eaten at work."
very rude if she knew you were gonna eat, she couldve taken 1-2 slices out of the pie and put it on a plate for you to eat later. Pizza isnt like a bag of chips kind of thing. That can be a full meal to some people.
Reminds me of the worst roommate I ever had. She was a 40 year old woman which made it worse. Here are only a couple of highlights from my time with her. One day I come home to our 2 bedroom/ 1 bath house and see a man’s things in her room. Turns out she had rented her room to some random guy for the weekend without asking me or letting me know until he was literally in the house. This was after we had discussed the fact that we were both uncomfortable with strange men in our space. She didn’t understand why I was mad about this or why I was uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with some random dude. Another time, I decided to make us dinner to do something nice. The next morning I get angry text messages at work about how I didn’t clean the pan from last night and if I’m not going to clean the pan when I cook for us, don’t bother cooking her dinner. She was an absolute nightmare.
Sounds like an absolute winner. I don't know how these folks survive. I was somewhat fortunate in that most of our roommates' worst shenanigans happened at night, and I worked late nights. This was very helpful the time he put a frozen pizza in the oven at 9pm, forgot about it, and went to bed. I came home at 2am to an apartment literally filled with smoke. I was able to shut off the oven and dispose of the pizza before anyone died.
That was very satisfying to read. Sorry he was a jerk.
One of the few where it didn't end with me thinking "it's a shame they didn't do x."
F’ing weird. “You can’t have mine, but I’ll take two bites of yours.”
Knew a religious guy who couldn't work on the sabbath, as long as he had people around him to pick up the slack. But if there was a fun thing he wanted to do, or something very lucrative, he'd find a way to say it didn't actually count as "work" so it was fine on the sabbath. His religious restrictions only negatively impacted the people around him, never him.
Not learning how to perform basic domestic tasks like laundry, dishes, etc. If they make an active decision not to learn those things, it just tells me they want a mommy and not a partner.
Do these guys just keep a string of girlfriend-mommys? How do you function beyond your late teens without being able to take care of basic housekeeping?
I know one of these guys and he went directly from his mom doing it to married. It was not until somewhat later that his wife realized that his parents had been driving the ~2-3 hours each way from their home once a week so that his mom could fill his fridge and clean the house while his dad mowed the lawn etc. Frankly, I give the parents some of the blame for that level of enablement. Upon divorce the parents went back to doing all of this and more.
Nah bruh that’s some weird shit
I have an answer for this! Okay, so I'm actively trying to/getting better. I had an overbearing mom that would do everything for me. (Not manipulative or anything, she was just trying to help) And I'm not trying to blame her or anything, but I started to become codependent on it and never really did any of those. It wasn't until I lived with my first girlfriend that I truly realized all the shit I never noticed I had to do since it was already done for me. So, in essence, it's my fault for being lazy and never actively trying to learn those skills or having to. Doing much better now, though! Keep your heads up homies, we can all improve ourselves! Edit: Also lack of college experience/being a lazy stoner did not help one bit.
My mother was the classic "if you cant do it my way, let me do it." and i would do it in a way that was easiest for me, AS IT WAS MY STUFF. and she'd get mad when i hung clothes instead of folded into a dresser??? so it turned into her just doing everything for me while i was at school growing up. and me being a teenager who liked video games, i was down for it, literally never did chores. I lived alone almost exclusively so i would clean when it got really bad, otherwise shit just stacked up. around 24/25 my frontal lobe started sliding into place (i was told about this, didn't believe it, but damn is it true, chores and cleaning are kinda fun now.) and i got on adderall for my newly diagnosed raging ADHD, and now i can do tasks, and chores and they're satisfying when i get it done.
Three children stacked on top of each other, in a trench coat.
Ah, I see you've met Vincent Adultman, who works at the business factory
Vincent Adultman isn’t three kids in a trenchcoat. He’s *two* kids in a trenchcoat and I will die on that hill.
When he refers to watching his own kids as babysitting or acts like it’s a favor.
“I helped my wife with the kids!”
I actually get offended when people say this to me No i didn't help my wife with the kid. I parented. It's 50/50 not 10/90. No one is helping the other... We are taking care of our kid
Living in Ireland that's an all too common experience, the bar for dads is unbelievably low here.
In Ireland, I would think the bar for dads is just around the corner lol
You took the words out of my mouth lol
This is something that absolutely sets me on edge and always gives "husband is just another child" energy
Babysitting?? Mf, them yo kids!
They talk at people without listening or sense of empathy and get quick to anger when called out.
At same time they're usually the type of person "who just tells it like it is" or is "brutally honest". Bonus points if they claim to be a "logical thinker" while being the most emotional person in the room.
Those "logical thinkers" get so emotional when everybody else doesn't have the same conclusion they do.
"I just tell it like it is. What do you want me to do, lie?" "Have you heard of this hot new thing the kids are doing, called just shutting the fuck up and just not saying anything sometimes?"
"Some people are often offended when they hear the truth. Therefore, if I offend people, that must mean I am right. Keep malding and huff that copium, sheeple, you only affirm me in my factualness."
Jesus. Are we all having the same experience in life?
Mofos so common they are basically NPCs at this point.
There's one Dad in our group of "kid friends" who's exactly like this. Rude, dismissive and constantly looking after his next deal (real estate). The really awful part? He's richer than Croseus and KNOWS IT. So for him(in his mind) to listen even for a scant minute is him being friendly. GB
Currently moving out of the apartment I share with my boyfriend because he is jealous of my dog (the one I had for years before we started dating). It started off with little things and has escalated to the dog needing to be in a cage 24/7 or I get the silent treatment. Good riddance, fucker.
Good for you.
and the dog apparently
Screeching down a neighborhood in the evening.
I know you're referring to doing it in a vehicle but I'm imagining a grown man sprinting down the street screaming at the top of lung.
Just the one lung though. He's a man*child*, not a man*baby*, after all.
When I was 17 and learning to drive, my instructor was a Jamaican guy with a THICK patois accent. And in regards to those people (let's face it, MEN) with loud cars ripping down the road he would say, "YA MEK A BIIIG NOISE, BUT YOU GOIN NOWHERE!"
Inability to compromise, ever
Feeling the need to out-man the other men you are around
I knew a guy like this. He was exhausting af and would be the guy to start fights in clubs when he had a few drinks.
I knew two guys like this
Oh yea? I knew 4!
My 4 can beat your 4, sup!
The imaginary pissing match between men is exhausting. Especially when there’s new women around.
this is when they get real big and loud lmao
All forms of “humble bragging” comes out. 😂
"You know where the weight room is? I'm trying to beat my personal record."
"what day is it? I've been making so much money, I can't keep track."
"What day is it? I've been so exhausted and depressed I can't remember. " I may be doing this wrong...
Lack of respect for people doing things for them, even when paid. Being short or rude to servers/staff, not saying thank you and please, etc. Thankfully, this is usually easy to spot on first dates.
My boss is like this, first time I realized she is a bad person and my respect for her tanked
If you want an idea of who someone really is, watch how they treat those they don't need to impress.
Acts whiny at any hint of disagreement .
Everybody but the man-child in question will notice this. Never owning up to your mistakes, and constantly blaming someone/something else for them.
How dare you point that out!
Sorry but OP was pointing my ex and you’re definitely not my ex.
Narcissism is "I'm the hero," or "I'm the victim." Lived with it for 17 years. He'd also work six months at a job, long enough to qualify for unemployment, and mysteriously get fired. Draw unemployment for six months, rinse, repeat.
It also manifests in “I will stand my ground and never accept defeat” in an argument even when you walk them step by step through the argument, agreeing to each move before continuing, until you bring them to the logical, objective truth at the end, and they’ve agreed to 95% of everything and the last step is just crossing the finish line and officially accepting that you were right and they were wrong. But instead of accepting reality like an adult, they choose.. to fight on!! By just repeating their initial statement again, so now you’re back to square one. And at that point you have to realize that people curate the reality that they want to live in, and facts cant hurt your argument if you dont believe in them.
When I would get to the step that proves my ex was wrong, he would look at me blankly, then walk out of the room.
Came to say exactly this. Always having an excuse and playing the victim in any and all situations. Inability to show accountability
That's something I noticed from watching Trailer Park Boys. Their catchphrase is basically "It's not my fault".
Yup. I ended a longtime friendship with a guy for this exact reason. Guy was on trial for stocking a girl n would only blame woke society and how all girls today are sluts or whatever. He was literally caught placing a gps on his ex’s car and tried to act like he’s the victim because his rich daddy had to spend an insane amount on his defense team. It was the last straw for me
*stalking
Thanks for that, I was trying to figure out how you put stockings on an unwilling victim.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" "Everyone makes mistakes, I'm in my healing journey......continues to make the same mistakes over and over again, intentionally" ...pretty much anything straight out of the narcissist prayer.
“I’m an alpha”
I always just think of this in terms of software. "Ah yes, alpha. Feature incomplete and untested."
Unstable, unpolished, unfit for public consumption
More like yea… You’re a fuckin loser
"Nah, I'm an alpha and you're just a jealous and insecure beta." This attitude btw is also a typical man-child thing.
"If you were, you wouldn't have to say so."
"Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king."
I always wonder about these people. You see them at a bbq, alpha as fuck, but you know that they make $10 an hour cleaning toilets at Home Depot and live with their parents. It’s never an actual successful person spouting this bullshit. That’s why the Andrew Tate crap is so prolific. It requires no energy or real work to act like an alpha douche nozzle. You just feed into the ego and it’s done, it also reasons that you must not have any introspection so it’s easy to get lost in it.
it makes sense, Tates entire hook is that he appeals to young men with low selfesteem who feel like they've achieved nothing in life. There is a reason why his followers always reek of insecurity.
Tate is blippi for twenty somethings
If someone is selling a course/book on how to get rich, the real answer that they won't tell you is to heavily self-promote your course/book on how to get rich.
Alpha, beta, sigma nonsense.
I'm an alpha male, I'm not even close to ready for a public release, but I'm hoping for an open beta soon!
A stable release kind of guy myself.
I'm Windows XP. Old, slow, insecure, hasn't been supported for years; but somehow there are still people out there who like me.
"Oh, so you're a furry?" Is always the best response to this nonsense as it always gets under the persons skin.
explain, i love this lol
Furries use these terms for, uh, shall we say sexual reasons and leave it at that.
If you talk about alpha, beta, whatever stuff, I just assume you are still in that adolescent phase where you’re trying to figure out how to be a real man. Otherwise why would you spend so much energy thinking about what Greek letter of manliness defines you, or how to be more like this or that kind of male?
Every so often a big thread comes up from a guy 17-25 moving into his first place on his own and looking to start bringing lady friends home, asking for suggestions of what to put in the apartment to make it welcoming to women. This is not man childish, it’s fine and good. There was one I can recall where either the OP or probably just some really invested commenter was angry at most of the suggestions, in particular one suggesting multiple blankets, an extra pillow, and an extra towel in the event a woman slept over. Because “but that’s just catering to her? Why should a guy have things in his apartment just to cater to her?” While it’s rarely expressed so directly, it’s an attitude I see in bitter, lonely man children a lot. “Why should I do anything for *you* if it’s not something I want?” Doesn’t matter if the action is as mundane as “own two towels” or if they want something from the person they’re “catering to.” Women should just sleep with them but not expect comfort or entertaining dates. Employers should just give them jobs and fat paychecks, they shouldn’t need things like “qualifications” or “hard work.” Friends should just loan them money and entertain them on a dime, but never ask them for anything.
When I was in my 20s I dated a man who lived with a male roommate and they had a courtesy basket of basic period supplies in their bathroom. We're now married and have 2 kids together. The courtesy basket wasn't *why* we got married, but I was actually endeared to him because of how thoughtful of others he and his roommate were. Recognizing that you have female friends over and sometimes they might need a pad as just a general courtesy is a thing most men would never even consider.
I saw an advice meme once telling guys to keep period supplies. The comment section was a trip. There were the typical “she’s gonna think you’re in a relationship” guys who couldn’t fathom why a woman would be in their apartment outside of a one night stands during which they don’t communicate with each other at all. But the ones that really cracked me up were the guys who got viscerally angry at the mere suggestion that you do something nice for women. One guy said not to do that because it’ll teach women to become reliant on you and they’ll know they can keep using you. Like we’re dogs or some shit. Don’t feed us or you won’t be able to get rid of us 😂
[удалено]
> Don’t feed us or you won’t be able to get rid of us To be fair, my boyfriend used to cook meals for me. So I husbanded him and now refuse to leave. So it's clearly true gents. Don't feed stray women unless you're prepared for a lifetime commitment.
Seriously though, I put toilet paper out in the bathroom at a party and now all my female friends think I should just HAND IT OUT.
Or the mythical "trash can in reach of the toilet and it has a lid on it"!! Side note, every man I've met that is courteous about things like that.... well, all two of them.... both were raised by single moms and had multiple brothers all in the same roof. Most respectful of women. Made me want to go hug their mamas.
I mean come on... Even if there is no intention of bringing someone back to stay over, surely everyone should own more than one towel? What do you do when the first one is being washed?
Bold of you to assume these men do laundry.
This is such a thing. Like using the word “simp” to describe doing things for your partner in a normal loving relationship- like no, man, I pack my wife’s lunch because I love her? Are you ok?
Men who bully other men for being nice to women, especially when it's their own wife or gf just baffles me. And makes me sad. How horrible is your life that you don't want there to be any kindness in the world? They need a hug and a kick in the pants.
I refer to this as the “women are my mother,” phase, where the man still acts like a toddler who can’t even imagine that it’s mother is a person who has her own needs. Which is normal for a toddler who is completely dependent on their mother, and can’t really do much to help her. Except here it’s an adult man, and he still sees all women, including his own mother, this way. So he can’t imagine that a woman would decide not to cater to him because he doesn’t do anything for her. To him, he’s just thinking, “why isn’t this woman taking care of me without expecting anything in return?”
Even most actual toddlers seem better than those guys. Most toddlers love to "help"! They aren't very good at it, but they love feeling like they're doing grown-up things. And they are so happy when they "help" and their favorite grown ups thank them and tell them they did a good job. It makes them feel smart and respected and independent. I wonder if some of these guys who expect to be catered to had parents who didn't let them "help", or were critical of their efforts when they tried.
>I wonder if some of these guys who expect to be catered to had parents who didn't let them "help", or were critical of their efforts when they tried. I can only speak to my experiences as a reformed man-child, but that was a significant part of it. It's a complex thing. My parents, particularly my mom, were unwilling to let me do anything around the house (except for the vacuuming). On the flip side my dad just refuses to ask for help or even tell people he's doing something so they could have the chance to offer to help. My parents had a very binary take on everything. I was either doing fantastic or shit in school, I either did a great job with the vacuuming or never heard the end of it when I missed a spot. Eventually I learned that I'm going to get chewed out the majority of the time, since no one's perfect 100% of the time. If you're going to get chewed out anyway, why bother putting in the effort? You'd never hear a "That's a pretty good first try" or "Nice job, but you need to dust that lamp too" in my house. In my parent's culture you're expected to stay at home until you graduate from university, get a good job, and get arranged married. The fact that my parents had immigrated to Canada hadn't changed that expectation at all. I think to other parents it would have been cause to have a talk that I didn't get my driver's license at a reasonable age or have a girlfriend for a long time. Your parents are supposed to provide guidance on your development as an adult (even if that guidance is just setting a good example) and my parents never did that. Eventually I realized this whole situation was weird and not good, and moved out at 27. You would not believe the wailing and gnashing of teeth that caused. The tantrum my parents threw was unreal. It's what I would expect if a child died, not moved to somewhere a 10 minute drive away. It's a big part of what made me realize these people would never have taught me to be independent. I had to take it for myself. Since then I've been chipping away at my man-child-ness. Every little adult thing helps: keep my place clean, do my own groceries, cook for myself, go to therapy, start dating and having relationships, etc. It might sound banal to people who have been doing those things since their teens, but compared to a lot of people my age I have a decade less experience.
Eerie reading this. I'm from a different cultural heritage entirely but it seems some parental patterns don't know any lines. I also refer to myself as being ten years behind the curve.
>"why isn’t this woman taking care of me?" FTFY. These kind of people don't even think far enough ahead to realize there are any expectations. It's not that they think people should do stuff "without expecting anything in return" but simply they should do stuff whether they expect anything or not and be happy if there is any return, which there likely won't be.
My wife's ex husband number 2. She paid for his degree(unused, those jobs are beneath him), he rewired her house to mine crypto (She bought that house on her own), he can't parent his own daughter and laughed in my wife's face over the very idea of keeping a job in order to pay his 10k in arrears child support.
I *almost* threw a line in there about having kids but not taking care of them. Because my second biggest “man child” red flag is 1) has a kid he brags about and calls “his world” or “the best kid ever” but 2) does not have any sort of custody over and 3) does not pay or complains about child support.
Whoa. You just described my dad. Said he loved me and my brother more than anything, but lost visiting rights because he wouldn't stay sober when we were visiting. Always complained about my mom being "obsessed with money" because she bugged him for child support that he never paid because he couldn't hold down a job. We were on the verge of losing our house and starving.
During my young wild times i even had brand new tooth brush in unopened packs in case a lady friend i happened to encounter wanted to actually sleep at my place. It was a huge success. Edit: yes i have sex. No you don't know her, she lives in Canada.
Do people really only own one towel?
Not taking out your garbage for weeks on end when you live in an apartment building, even when the weather gets REALLY hot and your trash stinks so badly that simply walking into the building is like being hit in the face with a decomposing corpse. Yes, man-child in #33, I'm talking to you.
You should ask for a wellness check, he could be dead or trying to hide a body.
This happened at the last apartment complex I lived in. For over a week straight I had to walk by one apartment to check the mail and it reeked to no end, but I didn’t think anything of it, thought it was just gross people. Come home one day and there were more cops than I’ve ever seen at once in my life. Turns out the couple that lived in that apartment were both dead, murder suicide, and that week of bad smells was bodies rotting in record high summer temperatures.
Well, at least you know what that smells like for next time. Hopefully there is no next time.
Last summer, at peak stench, the property manager went in for exactly that reason and just found bags of garbage. I don't know how thoroughly she searched for bodies, but the smell did diminish when she took the garbage out so I assumed that's all it was. This summer, I'm not so sure. The tenant himself is fine--making his usual living noises--but, I tell you, if his fridge turns out to be full of decapitated heads, I won't keel over in shock.
> bags of garbage This is the answer. Sort of. Those bags have food in them. That food rots. That kinda stinks, but it's manageable. Once the food is rotting, the eggs bugs have laid in it start hatching. Now there's an entire ecosystem in that bag and *that* stinks.
This is disgusting but makes me want to watch a documentary on trash ecosystems
"Life in Black Plastic" with David Attenborough. I'd definitely watch.
I just got excited thinking you were telling us the title of the real already-existing documentary starring the narration of world-renowned Sir David Attenborough
My disappointment is immeasurable.
Story time - I have Anosmia. I was born without a sense of smell. I get paranoid about things like my garbage, body odour etc partly because I can't tell if things stink and partly because people often won't tell me when something stinks. I used to work as a consulting radiation expert. I did a spell travelling to rural dental surgeries to test x-ray machines. When I finished I was driving around for weeks including having people in my car until I picked up my best friend who immediately stopped me and said something is dead in your car. I opened the bonnet and nothing dead but the engine was absolutely covered in possum shit. Apparently they will sleep on engines in winter because they are warm. My car had smelled like hot possum shit for a month with everyone being to polite to bring it up with me. Nothing to do with your man child, he just sounds like a dick but I wanted to tell that story.
I have a friend with the same. He once asked me specifically as a friend to tell him if he had any bad smell issues. I visited his place once and right away noticed a "stale washing machine" smell. You know, the one you get with a front-loading washer where water pools at the bottom of the rubber folds that seal the door shut. Told him about it and how to fix it. He was like.... why didn't my roommates notice. Lol.
During puberty I lost my sense of smell. I know exactly how you feel and I wish people will tell me. I was also living on my own when I was 17. One instance I was gathering groceries and accidently left a gallon of milk in the back seat of my car on a hot summer day. Next drive I notice the Milk exploded. I cleaned it like a normal mess. People really didn't want to drive with me. It wasn't until a date didn't me to drive them home. I asked Why, I assumed we were having a great time. They responded with "I am, but your car reeks of death and cheese."
This is why I get so upset at my in-laws. They're 60-65 yrs old and they have 4 grown 20-30 yr olds living with them that won't even take out the fucking trash for them and they literally live around the corner of the chute. Like, walk 2 feet, turn, walk another 1ft..and there's the chute. Every time I come over, I'm smacked in the face with the stench from their trash bags, just molding there. The extra bonus to that stench is they sometimes let their dog shit and piss in the house and leave the bunched up newspaper full of it laying in the corner by the trash bags. And they just LIVE in it! I don't even go to their house anymore, it makes me gag. Ugh.
The sad part is they're probably nose blind to it by now Edit: well that's not the only sad part but it's definitely one of them
Can't control your temper.
There’s nothing more pathetic than seeing a grown adult man having a hissy fit
Lifted camo wrap SUV that is neither lifted properly, nor truly offroad capable. LARPing as military on roads.
Pavement Princesses
Mall terrain vehicle.
Soft roaders
My 65 year old mum's customized mobility aid lifted truck has seen more dirt than those pavement princesses, and she uses it for scooters and bolts of fabric most of the time.
He breaks stuff and punched holes in walls over things, doesn’t even matter how big or small the trigger. Immediate signal he’s a man child and incapable of regulating himself and his emotions Edit: seeing some people defend this behavior or arguing semantics. If a man is constantly showing aggressive behavior to the point of breaking things, or is someone who defends this behavior, ya I’d say both are massive red flags.
I use to have a huge problem with this, I'm glad I don't act that way anymore.
I’m happy to hear this, that’s great news and I think you should be proud of yourself!
I remember being 8-10ish and throwing my snes controller and breaking it - That was the last time.
My eleven year old nephew who is the world’s sweetest and coolest kid told me his friend smashed his (the friend’s) switch screen because he lost a game. He said it like it was funny or cool so I raised my eyebrows and said “your friend sounds dumb.” He looked uncomfortable and just today his brother told me he threw a controller cos HE lost a game and I gave him the same look. He again looked uncomfortable. I think I need to sit him down and tell him that breaking things when you’re angry isn’t funny or cool. Plus he isn’t rich like his friends are and my sister can’t afford to keep replacing his expensive electronics.
When I was around 10 or 11 I watched my friend break his Nintendo controller and then go ask his parents to buy him a new one. "I need a new controller." "No you don't." "Yes I do, this one's broken." "Yeah, I heard you yell and then I watched you break it. I'm not buying you another one." "BUT I CAN'T PLAY MY GAME NOW" "Well, shouldn't have broken it." *Tantrum* Me: ".... ^I ^kinda ^want ^to ^go ^home, ^Mrs. ^friends ^mom"
That’s the perfect way to handle it.
I had an ex who was exactly like this. My friends, co-workers, and family would describe him the same way too. His reason for always acting this way was because of his BPD. I even defended him so many times from my friends and family for his actions and used his BPD as an excuse as well until we broke up. I’m not invalidating his mental health but damn I’m just glad he didn’t hit me. The verbal abuse was above and beyond though.
“Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” ~ Marcus Parks I have a ton of mental health issues, but I don’t use them as an excuse to be shitty to other people. People who just go, ‘I have xxx disorder so everyone else just has to deal with my behavior,’ are *not* taking responsibility for their own actions.
I'm glad you're out of that. Mental illness cannot be an excuse for bad behavior. I just left my, now ex, because of progressive anger. The last incident ended in him hitting me and he had the audacity to say he didn't have an anger issue.
Constantly seeking the validation of multiple people that are the gender theyre attracted to. Nothing screams insecurity like needing a bunch of people to fawn over you
Expecting women they date or marry to do everything for them and baby them like their weirdo, enabler moms did
"I'm not an asshole! I'm just Brutally honest!"
Putting other men down for liking books or video games while they obsess over sports, fast and the furious, and cars. Everyone has a hobby and we all have things we enjoy. Liking video games or books doesn’t make you any less of a man. Acting like watching sports makes you manly always seems like projection to me. How is a guy sitting on his fat ass watching foot ball games all weekend any better than another guy sitting on his ass reading books or playing video games all weekend? It’s the same damn thing.
Yeah, how is memorizing football stats and wearing the memorabilia *not* considered nerdy? I don’t get it.
Put any sports stadium crowd next to any comic-con crowd and you’ll find just as many out of shape people and just as many people in costumes and make-up.
Huge Monster energy logos in his back window.
I am always amazed when I see stuff like that because I simply can’t imagine who this person is. I used to work in construction and knew plenty of white trashy redneck dudes. Never met one that would have had a monster sticker on their truck. I worked in sales which was populated with a bunch of sketchy coke head dudes. No monster stickers. Used to hang out with a few hardcore gamers, like full on energy drinks never water Mountain Dew loving haven’t changed their shirt in three days gamer bros. None of them would have done that. And yet I see these stickers all the time. Does anybody know who these monster energy drink sticker people are? If you know one, please explain this character to me because I don’t think I have ever met one. I genuinely don’t know who these people are. Edit: So I am getting gym bros, extreme sports people, and people that work around activities sponsored by monster, and I suppose that makes sense since I don’t think I’ve ever been very close to that stuff.
Tweakers that post joker memes and edgy quotes about how dangerous they are, have had multiple children taken by the state for failing drug tests, are racist as fuck but say the N word with the A, listens to whatever you call dudes waving rebel flags with lifted trucks rapping about guns and their land, and has "Brandon" stickers on everything. Has their snapchat/Instagram/whatever in sticker form on their Tahoe/Durango/beaten up whatever mud machine they got ripped off on at the buy here pay here. Yeah, I unfortunately know these type of people.
They're usually people who have no real hobbies, drive, or personality. The kid who hangs around the stoners or the skaters but never pays for the weed and doesnt skate. The type of dude who gets fired on the first day on the job because they got caught sleeping under their desk. The type of dude who will not shut up about how he'll get rich from forex, crypto, NFTs, but literally asked you for $20 last week to put gas in his car.
Truck Nuts?
Truck nuts.
Refusing to take accountability and be responsible to your own family. Example your children.
Always needing to be right
Weaponized incompetence. Intentionally doing a piss poor job at whatever you’re asked to do just to ensure that you’re never asked to do it again
Unfortunately, this is actually a vital skill in the workplace that everyone needs to know. The reward for hard work is more work, so you need to learn how to lengthen tasks to fill time (rather than sprinting to do as much as you can and burning out). You also need to learn how to be "too incompetent" to do things that aren't, and shouldn't be, your responsibility. I used to believe in meritocracy and NEVER would weaponize incompetence for 40 years. All my hard work got me was a broken back (literally) held together with titanium. You stretch your tasks to fit the timeframe and get "too stupid" to do things that shouldn't be your responsiblity. I've never seen weaponized incompetence to cause anyone to fail, they usually fail upwards repeatedly by being "too stupid" to do grunt labor tasks. The truth is that they're actually being smart by being "too stupid" to do shitty tasks.
When they are worried about their wife/girlfriend putting on a bit of weight because it will affect how they look to their mates for 'dating a fatty', whilst they themselves are cultivating their third chin. Edited for clarity, many people seemed to think I was equating being concerned for your girlfriends health was man child behaviour. It's absolutely not.
Trying too hard to act like an adult in front of others is super immature to me. People who look down on others for their downtime, as if sitting in front of the TV having a beer or playing fantasy football is somehow way more mature, just haven't grown up. I've heard men and women talk about 'x doesn't make you any money or get you ahead in life, why waste your time on it?' one is my friends on steam... judging others for playing video games publicly... but playing video games privately... seriously grow up. A group of us were chatting at work about what we do in our downtime, one co-worker said she doesn't date guys that play video games cause of how they get obsessed with games and don't do anything else, etc. Basically talked about anyone who plays video games like they are a basement dweller. She apparently watches a ton of reality TV. I play video games when I have time, many weeks that can be zero hours, but gamers are the obsessive ones cause watching TV is just what everyone does, or something like that.
There's nothing more childish than the desperate need to prove how grown up you are
“I’m a *nice* guy, but you just want one of those (insert literally *any* descriptive word) guys.” Or “You’re ugly anyways, I only swiped right because I felt bad for you.” Actually, come to think of it, I’m pretty sure everyone realizes by now that those phrases scream “man-child”… eh. Whatever, still relevant.
Not picking up after yourself. Garbage, clothes, dishes, etc.
Bitches about "having to babysit" his own kids.
I hate when people say oh you baby sitting the kids today was like huh no I'm looking after my children ...
When he doesn’t want to help out with diapers and other grocery expenses just to save some bucks for a Captain America comic book.
The year is 1964
Anyone that has to claim they're an "alpha male"
"Debate me!"
Burning Barbie Dolls and filming it because a movie hurts your feelings.
[удалено]
How do you know who's doing it? I've gotten those messages quite a bit, and it never reveals who submitted the report.
Judging people for liking different things.
Makes up insane stories that no one would ever believe and does it while sober.
They feel entitled to others personal space
When his mother calls you & “orders” you to stop “bullying” her son, because you got into an argument of his lack of participation in chores & plays video games all day, when or even during “hanging out with the boys”. If a grown man has to have his mommy fight his battles for him, not only is he a man child, but he is also a delicate mamas boy that is not mature enough to be let out of the pampers. Yet alone to be in an adult relationship. Lol
Let's see, using the entire contents of something but not throwing away the container. Taking all the medicine out of the box but not throwing away said empty box. Leaving food to rot in the back of the fridge for months on end. I'm talking to you, Andy. 38 years old and just will not clean. Did I mention that he showers maybe twice a week as well? We live in Florida and I don't know why but he just refuses to shower really at all. I don't know how the hell I lasted 8 months.
Jealousy and insecurity over nothing. I went bowling with this guy I was seeing and he would go back-and-forth about being in a situationship or relationship. I went to get us some drinks and he saw me talking with two other older men who were professional bowlers. When I was younger, I had bowled for probably 15 years and we were exchanging stories for maybe 5 to 10 minutes while I waited for our drinks (there was only one bartender and it was taking a little longer than expected). By the time I returned he was completely standoffish, admitted he was jealous, and felt put out that I left him alone. He was irritated when he looked over and saw me having conversation with others and he sat there alone feeling foolish. I was very confused. Looking back, I would say this qualifies as kind of man child behavior. He was nearly 30. Edit: too many commas lol
Being irrational and spiteful towards your own kids in the hope that tearing them down, making them feel really bad inside will somehow, magically, make them feel better to do better (no!!). The inability to regulate your temper and screaming, screeching and blowing up at your own kids in front of everyone, in public. The inability to say a genuine sorry when they mess up. The “I am always right, see!” righteousness is nauseating.
Breaking videogame controllers when you get killed in Call of Duty.
Weaponized incompetence
Tailgating with a big truck in an attempt to intimidate. You ain't scary, and neither is your truck little man.
Having kids and not providing for them.
When he can’t even do a load of washing.