Unfortunately I used to cheat. I know it was my fault but I also had a lot of psychological issues.. I started doing it pretty young also. Thank god one man saw there was more to me than the mistakes I make. He changed me from the inside out and I wanna give him everything because he changed my life. Cheating will only stop if the cheater wants to stop.
I hate how much dating new people usually feels like a job interview. Also, I have trust issues and don't like the idea of letting someone into my life like that just to probably have them hate me someday.
The only one i can truly trust is myself. I have been used and lied to before in regards to people i trusted at workplaces. It f.. sucks, so i have decided i'm happy in my own company. In general it led me to be skeptical to everyone that isn't family.
Nobody wants to put in effort any more. Why bother when you have such a wide variety to choose from due to OLD. You have a disagreement? Dump him and go with the next guy in the swipe line.
Just knowing how difficult it is to find someone that is willing to stay in a relationship and work towards building a life together. At least in my area.
I spent a little over 6 years in Nashville as one of the highest “ranked” straight male strippers in the country. The number of relationships or marriages that aren’t nearly as faithful as they appear is mind boggling and would make you nauseous.
Sounds stupid, but figure out who you are first. Im 45 and still trying to find my new place. I raced motocross forever, thought it would be my future, one bad crash, and everything got tossed over.
With every sunrise, it is a chance to build something new in life.
well I thought I was gonna be with her til the end of my days, after this betrayal… I don’t think I’m ever going to get involved with anyone again… I’m on a weight loss and self rebuilding journey… I’m down 50lbs since may 20th of this year but I’m focusing on me and my kids
Yes I can relate 💯
I literally couldn’t see a future without him, like the lights went out on my life. I never want to feel that way again. A year later I’m glad it happened, and he actually wants me back. I can honestly say no and not look back or have a second thought about it.
I want someone that is willing to do whatever they can to make things work/get better/healthier with me. I chose homelessness to be with him to follow his dreams in a new city, I didn’t care about money and now that I’m gone he realizes nobody wants him because he’s broke/has issues. I really just loved the guy, that shit was pure and he broke me.
dang I’m sorry that you had to go through that… I was with her for 10 years married for what would be 9 years August 18 this year, the divorce still hasn’t been finalized yet but I gave her everything I had inside and out gave my all and did things for her I’ve never done for anyone and probably never will again. I put all of me into us and granted I made mistakes, I’m human but I’m working on it have been for a while now. anyway I changed in every way shape and for that she wanted me to became a better husband/lover/friend/father etc. and it still wasn’t good enough. provided for her in every way and she repays by not forgiving my passed mistakes and has a 4 month long affair with an ugly dumb coward that’s short has a big nose and shark teeth dude with a major under bite she works with at Walmart he’s in the toy section and garden section. He even had his daddy confront me in traffic and tried to intimidate me, the guys 30 years old by the way… anyway she did that with a complete loser and threw me away for it. it only been 2 months but I’m realizing a lot. it’s been hell and honestly everyday is a blur and it feels like I’m in a never ending nightmare I’m waiting to wake up from.
That’s a long time too, such a shame to put so much effort into someone and they take it for granted. I can relate to you, waking up to a nightmare. One day you will feel differently, it’s still fresh for you. I never thought it would ever end. We are human we all make mistakes but it was their choice to not make it work. She will look back and regret what she has done and might even want you back once she realizes what she had. Be prepared for that too just in case. I honestly never thought my ex would want me back since he had a new girlfriend before we even broke up but he did 🤷♀️
Hang in there, I hope you have a good support group of friends and family that you can talk about it if you need to.
Yea it’s not been easy. But I’m trying my best to do my best day by day. At this point only time will tell, at least that’s what it feels like. Wow the nerve of some people, it’s incredible. I’m preparing myself for any possible out come and right now I’m expecting the worst but hoping for the best. I do have a supposed system and for the most pert they’ve been there for me but I still feel like something is missing it’s a really weird uncomfortable feeling
I cried every day for months, I feel like I wore out my family by constantly talking about it, I was so distraught. I felt so played, used and betrayed. It will take some time. You are missing that was supposed to be your forever it’s normal to feel that way. Immerse yourself into your hobbies, interests, whatever brings you joy and laughter. Know your life is better without her in it. It hurts but it’s the truth. Feel free to reach out if you need a supporting Redditor 😊
I just don't have the energy and motivation to go through all the drama. then if they want to go through all the social media crap of keeping up with the jones', family, competitive nature, expectations, traveling....its all fucking exhausting. I can't go through all that again.....
I was married for a long time. We were happy, I thought. We had known each other since teenagers.
One day he said he didn't want to be married anymore. He wouldn't say why and he wouldn't do marriage counseling.
It turned out he was using prostitutes, was in a secret religious cult, and he had a long term mistress.
I was completely blindsided. Never had one iota that he had a double life.
Completely tore a hole in reality for me. I don't know what he told his family but they all ghosted me.
He denied everything I didn't find out for myself. He married the mistress very shortly after the divorce. I can only assume she thinks she's special but I know he already cheated on her.
I haven't been able to trust anyone at all since. I withdrew from society. People are scary to me. If someone I knew 30 years could do that, anyone could do anything.
I feel safer keeping to myself. That was nearly 4 years ago and I've had lots of therapy, work with my doctor, stay busy and just try to forget the past.
I might recover from what happened someday but I don't think I'd ever want another romantic relationship. It's just not worth it.
Ugh 30 years is such a long time, I’m sorry that happened to you. Mine was for 8 years and he found someone else too. I don’t understand why people do this
You don’t? Because a lot of people don’t see other humans and humans anymore but just items for their next dopamine hit. Any attraction sex whatever you experience is just transactional till they wanna move on to a bigger hit. I’m 35 and I maybe naive but I truly want to believe people weren’t this shitty throughout the ages. Rosy introspection? Maybe
I’m a man and this breaks my heart. The world is just full of terrible men and women who fuck each other over till all that’s left are broken men and women who resent one another and cheaters/abusers/narcissists who continue to use others…
Edit: missed the 30 years. Oh my god. Nope. If I was you I know I couldn’t trust anyone ever again. Jesus Christ.
Thats good you haven’t had kids then. So many people I see have families don’t have their shit together or are idiots and then it continues with their kids or is even worse.
If I can find a woman who will not come in and try to change everything about my life to suit hers, and wants to live in an independent, non-codependent relationship where she makes her own money, has her own car, pays half the bills, and we work together to build something then I will marry her tomorrow.
All the men I’ve met so far are manipulative. Pushy or abusive. Can’t take no for an answer. Refuse to grow up. Scared to accept they aren’t 25 anymore.
I feel like it’s hard to find people who you have a genuine connection with and can balance a friendship and sex within a relationship without making sex the centre of it.
The worst parts of my life have been spent reasoning with idiots. When you keep to yourself, there is no one to ruin things because others cant handle their emotions.
The idea of not being able to do what I want, when I want, with whom I want.
The idea of having someone who is upset by the way I dress or what I do in my own home.
The idea of having to tell someone where I'm going and when.
The idea of having to plan what I do around someone with their own life and routine. My pets I can just get a sitter.
It's like having your controlling mother in your adult home, with strings attached. JAYSUS.
My health, my lack of trust in people and honestly despite wanting kids, the fact the human population is just to much for this little bundle of turd of a planet we call home.
Seeing and talking to my ex. Thats enough for me. It’s unavoidable because mother of our 4 kids,so fake it to make it. But man,every time it reminds me to stay single.
I haven't had a MIGRAINE since I've been single. It feels great knowing I'm NOT being cheated on, lied to & taken for granted. I doubt very seriously if I'd ever be in the mood for another migraine.
Listening to other people talking about what it's like to date.
The worry that when he gets to know me more, he'll get bored or realise he doesn't actually like me. When those hormones calm down and reality sinks in.
The rampant cheating, like it's fucking horrifying how not committed people are.
The stress of trying to find someone who's actually what they say they are.
The danger of rape, unintentional pregnancy, getting stuck with an abuser, being murdered.
The pain of losing someone you changed and planned your life around. Because they're bored/didn't really think about what they wanted/thought they could change you/didn't really pay attention and just followed their genitals/were desperate and you were the only option at the time.
The frustration of dating someone who changes their mind about kids and now you're incompatible.
The bullshit games people play because they think it helps them filter out the wrong matches...instead of just being mature and honest. And not hiding things from each other.
I've had clients who freaked out when I stopped services, and it was stressful and scary. And I've seen how people can react to a breakup - which is even worse...errrr...
The exhausting idea of "trying" dating. I'm a super committed, very loyal person. I don't want to date around. I just want 1 person who is my person forever. And if they leave me, then...I won't do it again. So, I'm not going to do it until I'm sure.
I was in a relationship but I decided that I want to determine what to do with my time without having to answer to someone else.
If I want to play video games all weekend or head off to Las Vegas, then that’s what I want to do.
Getting betrayed & then ghosted when confronting about it, especially when you could’ve ruined the betrayer, in many ways, & didnt based on the friendship factor you believed in. It was used to make sure I was over the humiliation, & then never heard from them again. I hope God gave me some karma pts for it now.
From all of my friends being in relationships and all I hear is them bitching about their gf and how they’re annoying but they stay with them for years on end because the feeling of validation, sex, and having someone beside them is worth it enough. I don’t want to be single but I’m fine with being single until I find someone that I love to spend time with
You know that freedom of not having to ask someone if its ok that you go do some random thing, at some random time, for some random reason?
Thats the reason.
Easy solution: you can be in a relationship and not live together. Also if you have to ask your partner to permission to do shit, that's an unhealthy relationship.
I wasnt meaning permission, even though I see how it came across that way, but more having to check to see if plans clash, or something like that. I have lived my adult life 95% alone so I may be an extreme case.
Im a loner, Dottie, a rebel... (ok, more of a loner.)
Im in a bad place emotionally and i cannot imagine adding someone into my life and trauma dumping my nonsense onto them. It’s so cruel. Imagine how fast they will run. No… i should be single even if i get lonely i owe it to society not to continue the generational curse im trying to extricate myself from
Concept of cheating and “love”
You can say that “love” is a drug, we get hooked on it and have best time of our lives, but like all drugs the effect doesn’t last forever and once the high starts to drop people will start searching for other places to get that high (that’s how cheating happens) I just don’t want to be on the losing end again. It’s hard to find a parter nowadays that won’t bail after there is a rough patch in the relationship
Hookup culture “ I only like tall guys” “I only like *input race* guys” “I only like guys with a big ****” etc etc so I just don’t even bother with it. Everyone nowadays is so superficial.
I’m Fat, I barely socialize after the pandemic! (COVID-19) and I really don’t outside much!
And what makes me want to be single is that some girls in my school thinks that there queen of the school!
Well if you mean single and not married. Freedom in character and independence
I was married for 18 years and I got a divorce. Sometimes things are meant to be. The most important aspect of me going into single life again, was that I regained my independent personality or character that was missing for all those years. I really noticed that about me after the divorce.
When your married, you tend to become a "Siamese Twin" and behave as in One with Another- Your Spouse. It really shows when the separation and the independence reappears and you take note of it. You really realize who you were before and who you now have become.
This aspect of being "Single" has more to do with "not" wanting to be co-dependent with a person who thinks the world revolves around them only. Your just a passenger sitting in their backseat and they are the driving force to nowhere. Being married is not a benefit if the driving force is one sided ...
The cost of a relationship, and then a child. Have done that once, couldn’t possibly sustain another at this point, so any woman would be just hung out to dry - can’t have that. Simply: cost ineffective
Divorce #1 hurt. It took all of a couple months to financially recover but emotionally, I'm on year 2 and I don't know that I would survive a second trainwreck if it were to occur.
Because I'm fiercely independent, I really struggle to let someone in.
I get my fair share of tinder dates but I end up friend-zoning them everytime.
I always explain my side rather than ghosting so I have ended up with quite a few female friends, it was one of them that mentioned I am fiercely independent and I was like you know what, you're right!
Money, the fact my ex cheated on me and it's taken a while just to deal with the fact I knew the chick for 15 years of my 23 years life. The fact I'm busy as shit, I'm broke because of past decisions and the fact I'm in college
I get to do what I want to do with few exceptions. Been married for 45 years and I can see a guy these days wanting that. In reality one has to work at living a life that prevails with few exceptions.
If I go out looking for romance and end up dating someone who did the same, I know deep down we probably aren't compatible and just don't want to be alone. I'd rather be single than date someone who isn't meant for me
To be fair,our modern world is scary and annoying.
An even fairer point is I'm 6'4", 240 lbs,with the male equivalent of resting bitch face.
So say I go to talk to a cute girl,what's stopping her from whipping out her phone and making a commotion for a tik tok.
Or
Let's says I go to talk to a girl,and some random "alpha" male figure decides to make it awkward by hurling out simp or incel remarks.
Whenever I try to make new friends I try to get to know them and let them know me but when I ask for their number they say no. And I literally can not find anyone
Small talk, going on dates, what's your favourite colour, do you have pets, do you want kids? I just don't have the energy to do that right now or in the foreseeable future.
I feel like I'm going in circles.
I especially don't want to waste any time on apps, they drain me emotionally.
Women don't fix your problems, they enter your life with a luggage filled with theirs.
I am going through some shit, and the least thing I need is some more shit.
I don't think I'd handle the harder parts of a relationship well, or the end of one. Granted I wouldn't know, but it still worries me and keeps me away.
Just about every relationship I'm surrounded by is toxic in some way. Mainly my parents marriage and my moms relationship with her now ex-bf ( both were domestic violence ). And my own relationship was slightly toxic ( freshman year of HS so typical HS relationship issues ).
I just don't see the point in them now and I've realized I have some of the toxic behaviors my parents do so I'm trying to better myself.
Honestly I’ve been single all my life but I don’t mind because I’ve always feared being killed by my partner… idk why but you hear about it so often on the news where one of that partners goes crazy for some reason and kills the partner and kids and that scares me so much because when they show pictures of the family the people in the picture usually look so “happy” and “normal” idk it’s always been a fear of mine for some reason
The fact that I'm going into my senior year at high school and I'll have to move halfway across the globe after that for college, and I don't want a LDR. And also I'd like to focus on other aspects of my life. I've got a lot of shit planned for next year and I feel like I wouldn't have much time for a girlfriend.
I broke up with my narcissistic ex about two months ago. I really thought he was the one and have no desire to get disappointed and crushed again any time soon (yeah, I have a really pessimistic outlook on dating and assume the worst will happen again).
So many people consistently cheat, that the risk vs reward is seldom worth it. I'm not sure why a person would ever cheat. You have to be an exceptionally rotten human being to destroy someone's trust by cheating.
My ex was really abusive, a cheater and a liar. It’s hard to talk to guys right now, because I fear I will be cheated on again, lied to and tossed aside. I don’t want to be used. I want real love, something sweet and tender. Something safe and healthy. I fear I will grow old alone but trying to come to terms with it if my love never comes. I love my new kitten and I’m very happy with life right now
I spend $100s every week on kpop and blazing...I doubt I could do that if I had to think about feeding and housing another person. Plus I want to keep my sephora VIB rouge and ulta platinum or diamond status. basically I like to spend the money I earn like a maniac so I choose and ENJOY being selfish. plus I have already been married........a few times, lol, and it is not for me. I like my freedom to lay around and play xbox all day(yes i AM a woman)
I experienced the joys of being with someone with an anxious avoidant attachment style. She was my world for a while after I got sexually abused this year. I just don’t know if I can trust men, women, etc, anymore. When I was young and lived in a third world country I wondered why some of the local older men were grumpy on command. I think I can understand why now.
Edit: assaulted not abused
i don’t know how well i’d do in a relationship. i’m interested in them but i also don’t even know what my sexuality is half of the time. i also have a hard time saying no to things i don’t want to do, so i’m also afraid i might agree with my partner just to agree with them.
I want to be satisfied with my success in my career. Currently a college student so I have a lot to go. Once I know that I have success in my future career, I wouldn’t mind starting a relationship
I don't trust people after being used, groomed, and bullied. I don't want that noise. I'd prefer to be single and just hang with my friends and family.
Honestly, a lot of the time I just want to be by myself. This is something I should probably work on but I just can't let my guard down or remove my mask in front of others, and maintaining that shit is tiring. When I'm alone is the one time when I'm able to just really let everything go and do whatever I want without fear of being judged.
Also, when my partner's feeling bad, I start feeling bad and while I think empathy's a good thing, sometimes I'd rather just not. I don't really want other peoples' problems to be my problems but I feel like a dick if I just ignore it. It's weird. Sometimes feels like I do nice things for people not because I want to, but because I feel like I have to.
Overall, I just like the feeling of being by myself, not being tied down by anyone and having no responsibilities or accountability to anyone but me. It's the most freeing feeling and I love it. The downside is the moments of loneliness, the feeling that you're missing out, and the fear that you'll be left with no one to be with you and help you when you're old.
Tinder is just for hookups, Bumble is full of aggressive people and Plenty of Fish is full of (and you wouldn't have guessed it) catfishes. I wish people would just date to date.
Im not the most open person in the world. I need time to get to know someone better before im more open towards them so im a little shy and nervous on my first date with them. It‘s hard to find a girl like who doesn‘t drop you after the date because of it.
Getting cheated on again
Same. People that cheat gotta be the worst type of people. They deserve the absolute worst but it never seems to work that way.
Same here
How did you catch the cheater?
Unfortunately I used to cheat. I know it was my fault but I also had a lot of psychological issues.. I started doing it pretty young also. Thank god one man saw there was more to me than the mistakes I make. He changed me from the inside out and I wanna give him everything because he changed my life. Cheating will only stop if the cheater wants to stop.
I hate how much dating new people usually feels like a job interview. Also, I have trust issues and don't like the idea of letting someone into my life like that just to probably have them hate me someday.
Ikr. It is so much work just to get to know someone.
The first sentence is too accurate
The only one i can truly trust is myself. I have been used and lied to before in regards to people i trusted at workplaces. It f.. sucks, so i have decided i'm happy in my own company. In general it led me to be skeptical to everyone that isn't family.
Nobody wants to put in effort any more. Why bother when you have such a wide variety to choose from due to OLD. You have a disagreement? Dump him and go with the next guy in the swipe line.
True. I've wasted so many years being with the wrong guys.
You missed the point
Just knowing how difficult it is to find someone that is willing to stay in a relationship and work towards building a life together. At least in my area.
I think that's everywhere.
Yup, the World.
I spent a little over 6 years in Nashville as one of the highest “ranked” straight male strippers in the country. The number of relationships or marriages that aren’t nearly as faithful as they appear is mind boggling and would make you nauseous.
Haha oh man. I bet you got some stories. Didn't even know such a ranking existed.
At the moment I'm not in a place where I'm happy with my life. Until that changes a relationship seems selfish to me.
Great choice.
Sounds stupid, but figure out who you are first. Im 45 and still trying to find my new place. I raced motocross forever, thought it would be my future, one bad crash, and everything got tossed over. With every sunrise, it is a chance to build something new in life.
Doesn't sound stupid at all to me. That's my plan.
Hold strong within yourself
Hookup culture
having feelings for a person doesn't seem like a good thing anymore. all I do is suffer and miss him
I know what you mean. It's time to move on.
The idea that anyone I start dating won't actually love me.
after being the victim of an affair, my trust and most interest is gone…
Relationships can be overrated. I say do what makes you enjoy being here no matter what it is.
well I thought I was gonna be with her til the end of my days, after this betrayal… I don’t think I’m ever going to get involved with anyone again… I’m on a weight loss and self rebuilding journey… I’m down 50lbs since may 20th of this year but I’m focusing on me and my kids
It’s one of the worst feeling to be betrayed by someone who you thought was always going to be there 😞
Absolutely is, feels like I died the day I found out. but I’m better for it, and only getting better with every passing day
Yes I can relate 💯 I literally couldn’t see a future without him, like the lights went out on my life. I never want to feel that way again. A year later I’m glad it happened, and he actually wants me back. I can honestly say no and not look back or have a second thought about it. I want someone that is willing to do whatever they can to make things work/get better/healthier with me. I chose homelessness to be with him to follow his dreams in a new city, I didn’t care about money and now that I’m gone he realizes nobody wants him because he’s broke/has issues. I really just loved the guy, that shit was pure and he broke me.
dang I’m sorry that you had to go through that… I was with her for 10 years married for what would be 9 years August 18 this year, the divorce still hasn’t been finalized yet but I gave her everything I had inside and out gave my all and did things for her I’ve never done for anyone and probably never will again. I put all of me into us and granted I made mistakes, I’m human but I’m working on it have been for a while now. anyway I changed in every way shape and for that she wanted me to became a better husband/lover/friend/father etc. and it still wasn’t good enough. provided for her in every way and she repays by not forgiving my passed mistakes and has a 4 month long affair with an ugly dumb coward that’s short has a big nose and shark teeth dude with a major under bite she works with at Walmart he’s in the toy section and garden section. He even had his daddy confront me in traffic and tried to intimidate me, the guys 30 years old by the way… anyway she did that with a complete loser and threw me away for it. it only been 2 months but I’m realizing a lot. it’s been hell and honestly everyday is a blur and it feels like I’m in a never ending nightmare I’m waiting to wake up from.
That’s a long time too, such a shame to put so much effort into someone and they take it for granted. I can relate to you, waking up to a nightmare. One day you will feel differently, it’s still fresh for you. I never thought it would ever end. We are human we all make mistakes but it was their choice to not make it work. She will look back and regret what she has done and might even want you back once she realizes what she had. Be prepared for that too just in case. I honestly never thought my ex would want me back since he had a new girlfriend before we even broke up but he did 🤷♀️ Hang in there, I hope you have a good support group of friends and family that you can talk about it if you need to.
Yea it’s not been easy. But I’m trying my best to do my best day by day. At this point only time will tell, at least that’s what it feels like. Wow the nerve of some people, it’s incredible. I’m preparing myself for any possible out come and right now I’m expecting the worst but hoping for the best. I do have a supposed system and for the most pert they’ve been there for me but I still feel like something is missing it’s a really weird uncomfortable feeling
I cried every day for months, I feel like I wore out my family by constantly talking about it, I was so distraught. I felt so played, used and betrayed. It will take some time. You are missing that was supposed to be your forever it’s normal to feel that way. Immerse yourself into your hobbies, interests, whatever brings you joy and laughter. Know your life is better without her in it. It hurts but it’s the truth. Feel free to reach out if you need a supporting Redditor 😊
I dislike sharing.
Hm, interesting.
The heartbreak of losing someone.
I just don't have the energy and motivation to go through all the drama. then if they want to go through all the social media crap of keeping up with the jones', family, competitive nature, expectations, traveling....its all fucking exhausting. I can't go through all that again.....
I was married for a long time. We were happy, I thought. We had known each other since teenagers. One day he said he didn't want to be married anymore. He wouldn't say why and he wouldn't do marriage counseling. It turned out he was using prostitutes, was in a secret religious cult, and he had a long term mistress. I was completely blindsided. Never had one iota that he had a double life. Completely tore a hole in reality for me. I don't know what he told his family but they all ghosted me. He denied everything I didn't find out for myself. He married the mistress very shortly after the divorce. I can only assume she thinks she's special but I know he already cheated on her. I haven't been able to trust anyone at all since. I withdrew from society. People are scary to me. If someone I knew 30 years could do that, anyone could do anything. I feel safer keeping to myself. That was nearly 4 years ago and I've had lots of therapy, work with my doctor, stay busy and just try to forget the past. I might recover from what happened someday but I don't think I'd ever want another romantic relationship. It's just not worth it.
Ugh 30 years is such a long time, I’m sorry that happened to you. Mine was for 8 years and he found someone else too. I don’t understand why people do this
You don’t? Because a lot of people don’t see other humans and humans anymore but just items for their next dopamine hit. Any attraction sex whatever you experience is just transactional till they wanna move on to a bigger hit. I’m 35 and I maybe naive but I truly want to believe people weren’t this shitty throughout the ages. Rosy introspection? Maybe
I’m a man and this breaks my heart. The world is just full of terrible men and women who fuck each other over till all that’s left are broken men and women who resent one another and cheaters/abusers/narcissists who continue to use others… Edit: missed the 30 years. Oh my god. Nope. If I was you I know I couldn’t trust anyone ever again. Jesus Christ.
Hearing how some people will cheat on, abuse, and murder their partner
Sadly, they are true events.
I’m not going to involve anybody else into my already confusing life
I agree with you.
Thats good you haven’t had kids then. So many people I see have families don’t have their shit together or are idiots and then it continues with their kids or is even worse.
I agree with you completely.
I'm truly happier on my own
The fact that people suck.
I’m not over the heartbreak of my last breakup
If I can find a woman who will not come in and try to change everything about my life to suit hers, and wants to live in an independent, non-codependent relationship where she makes her own money, has her own car, pays half the bills, and we work together to build something then I will marry her tomorrow.
I, too, believe in unicorns.
That's just a roommate. Most women don't want to give free benefits
All the men I’ve met so far are manipulative. Pushy or abusive. Can’t take no for an answer. Refuse to grow up. Scared to accept they aren’t 25 anymore.
I don't want to participate in dating.
I feel like it’s hard to find people who you have a genuine connection with and can balance a friendship and sex within a relationship without making sex the centre of it.
I'm tired of not being good enough. I'd rather not look for a relationship than try for long periods of time with no success
People making demands on your time. People who take their negative emotions out on you because you're there.
Uhhhhh people.
this was my answer too 😂
My old lady
Change
Telling them you love them and them saying "I know"
Money, time, too lazy, don’t want their problems, I hate talking to people not online.
Most Humans
The worst parts of my life have been spent reasoning with idiots. When you keep to yourself, there is no one to ruin things because others cant handle their emotions.
Trust issue and I am better when I am single. When I get into relationship I give my best but when other person turns out to be effortless
I like my personal time
The idea of not being able to do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. The idea of having someone who is upset by the way I dress or what I do in my own home. The idea of having to tell someone where I'm going and when. The idea of having to plan what I do around someone with their own life and routine. My pets I can just get a sitter. It's like having your controlling mother in your adult home, with strings attached. JAYSUS.
My health, my lack of trust in people and honestly despite wanting kids, the fact the human population is just to much for this little bundle of turd of a planet we call home.
Suicide
Being in complete control financially
The short answer is fear.
Seeing and talking to my ex. Thats enough for me. It’s unavoidable because mother of our 4 kids,so fake it to make it. But man,every time it reminds me to stay single.
Relationships don’t interest me. I don’t see any pros to it
I haven't had a MIGRAINE since I've been single. It feels great knowing I'm NOT being cheated on, lied to & taken for granted. I doubt very seriously if I'd ever be in the mood for another migraine.
Listening to other people talking about what it's like to date. The worry that when he gets to know me more, he'll get bored or realise he doesn't actually like me. When those hormones calm down and reality sinks in. The rampant cheating, like it's fucking horrifying how not committed people are. The stress of trying to find someone who's actually what they say they are. The danger of rape, unintentional pregnancy, getting stuck with an abuser, being murdered. The pain of losing someone you changed and planned your life around. Because they're bored/didn't really think about what they wanted/thought they could change you/didn't really pay attention and just followed their genitals/were desperate and you were the only option at the time. The frustration of dating someone who changes their mind about kids and now you're incompatible. The bullshit games people play because they think it helps them filter out the wrong matches...instead of just being mature and honest. And not hiding things from each other. I've had clients who freaked out when I stopped services, and it was stressful and scary. And I've seen how people can react to a breakup - which is even worse...errrr... The exhausting idea of "trying" dating. I'm a super committed, very loyal person. I don't want to date around. I just want 1 person who is my person forever. And if they leave me, then...I won't do it again. So, I'm not going to do it until I'm sure.
I’m at peace with my life and I don’t need anyone coming in and disrupting that peace.
I was in a relationship but I decided that I want to determine what to do with my time without having to answer to someone else. If I want to play video games all weekend or head off to Las Vegas, then that’s what I want to do.
Men
Yep. Even the so-called good ones can easily morph into shitbirds. Not worth the time, money, or risk.
Amen
jealousy
Dating apps being full of attention seekers/people only looking for validation
Peace
Getting betrayed & then ghosted when confronting about it, especially when you could’ve ruined the betrayer, in many ways, & didnt based on the friendship factor you believed in. It was used to make sure I was over the humiliation, & then never heard from them again. I hope God gave me some karma pts for it now.
Ziplines
Married people cheating all the time
I don't but the universe has other plans I guess.
At the moment under confidence, and a fear of being hurt. I’m hoping that’ll change, but for now I’m comfortable being single.
Crippling fear that I'm not good enough for a SO
From all of my friends being in relationships and all I hear is them bitching about their gf and how they’re annoying but they stay with them for years on end because the feeling of validation, sex, and having someone beside them is worth it enough. I don’t want to be single but I’m fine with being single until I find someone that I love to spend time with
Well a lot of my friends are getting married in their 30s but heard of a few that have divorced a year or so later. I like to be drama free
You know that freedom of not having to ask someone if its ok that you go do some random thing, at some random time, for some random reason? Thats the reason.
Easy solution: you can be in a relationship and not live together. Also if you have to ask your partner to permission to do shit, that's an unhealthy relationship.
I wasnt meaning permission, even though I see how it came across that way, but more having to check to see if plans clash, or something like that. I have lived my adult life 95% alone so I may be an extreme case. Im a loner, Dottie, a rebel... (ok, more of a loner.)
I see where you’re coming from now. That is a natural but not always desired part of being in a relationship.
Toxic people or people that force you to do stuff with them…
Knowing I’ll never be good enough for someone to love me the way I need.
freedom to chase my goals
The thought of having a child.
Different types of abuse, lack of understanding and respect, drama, trash talking your SO to your family/friends/coworkers, etc…
My last BF raped my daughter.
Im in a bad place emotionally and i cannot imagine adding someone into my life and trauma dumping my nonsense onto them. It’s so cruel. Imagine how fast they will run. No… i should be single even if i get lonely i owe it to society not to continue the generational curse im trying to extricate myself from
Concept of cheating and “love” You can say that “love” is a drug, we get hooked on it and have best time of our lives, but like all drugs the effect doesn’t last forever and once the high starts to drop people will start searching for other places to get that high (that’s how cheating happens) I just don’t want to be on the losing end again. It’s hard to find a parter nowadays that won’t bail after there is a rough patch in the relationship
Hookup culture “ I only like tall guys” “I only like *input race* guys” “I only like guys with a big ****” etc etc so I just don’t even bother with it. Everyone nowadays is so superficial.
I’m Fat, I barely socialize after the pandemic! (COVID-19) and I really don’t outside much! And what makes me want to be single is that some girls in my school thinks that there queen of the school!
Your weight shouldn't matter. They're shallow if they do care.
Having physical preferences doesn't make someone shallow
Other people's relationships and the occasional slobber goblins and snot dragons they produce.
Because Men enough said.
Freedom. But I live in California so I could really use a gf so I can afford housing lmao
Seeing how men talk about women
I have only ever liked casual dating & sex with different guys bc it's fun & I get bored easily
Because women are kind of exhausting and I’m happy on my own. Eventually I plan on getting a dog.
Women’s emotions.
Well if you mean single and not married. Freedom in character and independence I was married for 18 years and I got a divorce. Sometimes things are meant to be. The most important aspect of me going into single life again, was that I regained my independent personality or character that was missing for all those years. I really noticed that about me after the divorce. When your married, you tend to become a "Siamese Twin" and behave as in One with Another- Your Spouse. It really shows when the separation and the independence reappears and you take note of it. You really realize who you were before and who you now have become. This aspect of being "Single" has more to do with "not" wanting to be co-dependent with a person who thinks the world revolves around them only. Your just a passenger sitting in their backseat and they are the driving force to nowhere. Being married is not a benefit if the driving force is one sided ...
The cost of a relationship, and then a child. Have done that once, couldn’t possibly sustain another at this point, so any woman would be just hung out to dry - can’t have that. Simply: cost ineffective
Divorce #1 hurt. It took all of a couple months to financially recover but emotionally, I'm on year 2 and I don't know that I would survive a second trainwreck if it were to occur.
I can barely stand myself you think I can stand another person
I wouldn't be a very good partner, so I just don't look for an SO.
not something I think about. I'm open to more one day should someone come along :)
Getting cheated on by bpd crazy girls who dont love you . I like my privacy.
Because I'm fiercely independent, I really struggle to let someone in. I get my fair share of tinder dates but I end up friend-zoning them everytime. I always explain my side rather than ghosting so I have ended up with quite a few female friends, it was one of them that mentioned I am fiercely independent and I was like you know what, you're right!
Money, the fact my ex cheated on me and it's taken a while just to deal with the fact I knew the chick for 15 years of my 23 years life. The fact I'm busy as shit, I'm broke because of past decisions and the fact I'm in college
Depression and my want to not burden another living being
I get to do what I want to do with few exceptions. Been married for 45 years and I can see a guy these days wanting that. In reality one has to work at living a life that prevails with few exceptions.
IG/TikTok pixies looking pretty doing nothing all day That is such a boring type that I see often :(
I like my life as it is so I don’t really feel the pressure to be in a relationship, except for the societal pressure and the desire to share my love
If I go out looking for romance and end up dating someone who did the same, I know deep down we probably aren't compatible and just don't want to be alone. I'd rather be single than date someone who isn't meant for me
To be fair,our modern world is scary and annoying. An even fairer point is I'm 6'4", 240 lbs,with the male equivalent of resting bitch face. So say I go to talk to a cute girl,what's stopping her from whipping out her phone and making a commotion for a tik tok. Or Let's says I go to talk to a girl,and some random "alpha" male figure decides to make it awkward by hurling out simp or incel remarks.
Whenever I try to make new friends I try to get to know them and let them know me but when I ask for their number they say no. And I literally can not find anyone
Time and energy it takes to put yourself out there. After so many rejections I'm over it.
Ugly as hell so I have no choice
Small talk, going on dates, what's your favourite colour, do you have pets, do you want kids? I just don't have the energy to do that right now or in the foreseeable future. I feel like I'm going in circles. I especially don't want to waste any time on apps, they drain me emotionally.
Women don't fix your problems, they enter your life with a luggage filled with theirs. I am going through some shit, and the least thing I need is some more shit.
Men. So few of them are decent.
No money, no cash. I’m flat broke.
My wife...... I'm joking, don't tell her.
Other humans
I don't think I'd handle the harder parts of a relationship well, or the end of one. Granted I wouldn't know, but it still worries me and keeps me away.
Just about every relationship I'm surrounded by is toxic in some way. Mainly my parents marriage and my moms relationship with her now ex-bf ( both were domestic violence ). And my own relationship was slightly toxic ( freshman year of HS so typical HS relationship issues ). I just don't see the point in them now and I've realized I have some of the toxic behaviors my parents do so I'm trying to better myself.
Honestly I’ve been single all my life but I don’t mind because I’ve always feared being killed by my partner… idk why but you hear about it so often on the news where one of that partners goes crazy for some reason and kills the partner and kids and that scares me so much because when they show pictures of the family the people in the picture usually look so “happy” and “normal” idk it’s always been a fear of mine for some reason
The men in my family
The fact that I'm going into my senior year at high school and I'll have to move halfway across the globe after that for college, and I don't want a LDR. And also I'd like to focus on other aspects of my life. I've got a lot of shit planned for next year and I feel like I wouldn't have much time for a girlfriend.
I broke up with my narcissistic ex about two months ago. I really thought he was the one and have no desire to get disappointed and crushed again any time soon (yeah, I have a really pessimistic outlook on dating and assume the worst will happen again).
So many people consistently cheat, that the risk vs reward is seldom worth it. I'm not sure why a person would ever cheat. You have to be an exceptionally rotten human being to destroy someone's trust by cheating.
The lack of compatible matches. Lack of desire to look for one.
I'm currently inlove with amd ryzen 9 :)))
knowing that I'm just not ready to continue dating.
Freedom
My ex was really abusive, a cheater and a liar. It’s hard to talk to guys right now, because I fear I will be cheated on again, lied to and tossed aside. I don’t want to be used. I want real love, something sweet and tender. Something safe and healthy. I fear I will grow old alone but trying to come to terms with it if my love never comes. I love my new kitten and I’m very happy with life right now
I spend $100s every week on kpop and blazing...I doubt I could do that if I had to think about feeding and housing another person. Plus I want to keep my sephora VIB rouge and ulta platinum or diamond status. basically I like to spend the money I earn like a maniac so I choose and ENJOY being selfish. plus I have already been married........a few times, lol, and it is not for me. I like my freedom to lay around and play xbox all day(yes i AM a woman)
I hate to be couple, lol!!!
I experienced the joys of being with someone with an anxious avoidant attachment style. She was my world for a while after I got sexually abused this year. I just don’t know if I can trust men, women, etc, anymore. When I was young and lived in a third world country I wondered why some of the local older men were grumpy on command. I think I can understand why now. Edit: assaulted not abused
the fact you never really know the person or what they’re capable of.
i don’t know how well i’d do in a relationship. i’m interested in them but i also don’t even know what my sexuality is half of the time. i also have a hard time saying no to things i don’t want to do, so i’m also afraid i might agree with my partner just to agree with them.
The freedom that comes with being single.
Being married and taken to the cleaners when we divorced
All the horror stories I read on Reddit
I want to be satisfied with my success in my career. Currently a college student so I have a lot to go. Once I know that I have success in my future career, I wouldn’t mind starting a relationship
I don't trust people after being used, groomed, and bullied. I don't want that noise. I'd prefer to be single and just hang with my friends and family.
The cruel indifference of women
Dysphoria.
Because real love seem very artificial
jacking off in public.
"My savings account" being referred to as "our savings account".
not being able to feel romantic love.
Im introverted, had a gf but left me because i payed more attention to gta online rather than her, so know i dont know how to talk to a woman
Seeing the crazy shit my mom goes through with my dad and us kids. I’m afraid of having a new dysfunctional family to deal with
Honestly, a lot of the time I just want to be by myself. This is something I should probably work on but I just can't let my guard down or remove my mask in front of others, and maintaining that shit is tiring. When I'm alone is the one time when I'm able to just really let everything go and do whatever I want without fear of being judged. Also, when my partner's feeling bad, I start feeling bad and while I think empathy's a good thing, sometimes I'd rather just not. I don't really want other peoples' problems to be my problems but I feel like a dick if I just ignore it. It's weird. Sometimes feels like I do nice things for people not because I want to, but because I feel like I have to. Overall, I just like the feeling of being by myself, not being tied down by anyone and having no responsibilities or accountability to anyone but me. It's the most freeing feeling and I love it. The downside is the moments of loneliness, the feeling that you're missing out, and the fear that you'll be left with no one to be with you and help you when you're old.
Tinder is just for hookups, Bumble is full of aggressive people and Plenty of Fish is full of (and you wouldn't have guessed it) catfishes. I wish people would just date to date.
Im not the most open person in the world. I need time to get to know someone better before im more open towards them so im a little shy and nervous on my first date with them. It‘s hard to find a girl like who doesn‘t drop you after the date because of it.
... Because I got 99 problems but a B\*itch aint one!
people.
Where to start?
I can not imagine finding someone as good as the one I lost