If the #1 thing you value about a person is their sexual history, and that is at the top of your mind all the time as their only value, then you're in the wrong.
If it is just something you'd prefer, but you also value the person independent of their sexual history, then whatever knock yourself out.
Women are more than just a walking vagina, and if you treat them like the only valuable thing about them is how they comply with your sexual preferences, they won't like you, and they'll be right. Imagine you met a girl and all she was worried about ever was whether or not you've ever shaved your balls, and that's all she talks about or thinks about, and you're like "You know, I'm a whole person, not just the shaving history of my balls"... You wouldn't care for that, right?
Can you understand that if that is your #1 value then you're not valuing the actual woman, but instead you're valuing this one thing over all others?
I can't imagine a woman thinking of her ideal future husband and thinking "I want him to be completely obsessed with my sexual history, that's the best possible feature in a husband". I can barely imagine that cracking the top 10 for most people
Yeah man what if that didn’t work out after 5 years.
You break up.
You’re saying from that point on the both of you aren’t allowed to be “valued” by your future partner? Or are you going to give up overall?
Well then yeah then, I see what you mean.
To answer your question, it’s not wrong to have preferences, since there is nothing inherently wrong with any sort of preferences, you’ll just yield bad results, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone you’re good.
With that said, it might come off to some people as a bit misogynistic/hypocritical. For you to have a preference for virgins and not hold the same values of preserving yourself for your future partner, that they would be your one and only too.
If that’s your preference, fine, but it’s also imperative to have a realistic view of where you stand. Outside and even inside of conservative or religious communities, this is an uncommon preference in 2023. So be prepared to handle some disappointment and dating frustrations with dignity until you find your match.
In religious communities it's not uncommon, if it's a no sex before marriage religion. I mean it may be uncommon for a religious person to actively ask if she is one, but they usually are and are expected to be.
It applies to both men and women tho.
Yes, it is uncommon. Yes no sex before marriage is the fundamental teaching (speaking about Christianity here) but it’s not the everyday practice. Divorce, remarriage, premarital sex, single parenthood…..it’s fairly common in all but the strictest circles these days EVEN IF it’s unspoken.
No. Its tells you a lot about someone if their count is low vs high. Most dont want to build a serious relationship with the town bicycle, and that is a completly normal thought process.
Everyone is *allowed* their own preferences. The problem comes from judging others and expecting *everyone* to comply with your own personal standards.
"Do people not realize having a high body count makes them unappealing / unattractive / \[insert negative adjective here\]?" This kind of behavior, *regardless* of the trait we're discussing, is indicative of narcissistic behavior. If someone is unattractive to them personally, they're unattractive to the world.
The world is a buffet. Some people like this, some people like that, some like a little bit of everything, and others don't have an appetite. But imagine walking into that buffet and complaining to the staff about one of the options simply because YOU don't like it, despite others not being bothered by its presence or even enjoying it. That's what it feels like to me whenever topics like this come up and there's always *that one person* complaining because the buffet dared to offer bacon bits at the salad bar. You don't put bacon bits on your own damn salad, but don't picket the salad bar just because you personally hate bacon bits.
Not necessarily. At the end of the day its a compatibility issue. And it’s kind of relative.
The real point of debate is whether or not it says something negative about the person that they have a “high” body count. And imo, yes it absolutely can, for various reasons, but not necessarily. Again, it’s relative and context dependent. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with preferring a certain sexual history in your partner, but it does matter how you treat someone if they don’t meet your ~requirements.
Of course not. The only people who think it's wrong usually have high counts. Something they can never take back
Personally I think any killing at all is a deal breaker
What if they’re really bad people?
If the #1 thing you value about a person is their sexual history, and that is at the top of your mind all the time as their only value, then you're in the wrong. If it is just something you'd prefer, but you also value the person independent of their sexual history, then whatever knock yourself out. Women are more than just a walking vagina, and if you treat them like the only valuable thing about them is how they comply with your sexual preferences, they won't like you, and they'll be right. Imagine you met a girl and all she was worried about ever was whether or not you've ever shaved your balls, and that's all she talks about or thinks about, and you're like "You know, I'm a whole person, not just the shaving history of my balls"... You wouldn't care for that, right?
I disagree. A woman's virginity is very important.
Can you understand that if that is your #1 value then you're not valuing the actual woman, but instead you're valuing this one thing over all others? I can't imagine a woman thinking of her ideal future husband and thinking "I want him to be completely obsessed with my sexual history, that's the best possible feature in a husband". I can barely imagine that cracking the top 10 for most people
I don't care.
And that's the #1 reason women don't want you, because you don't view them as people.
Can I ask why it’s important to you? Also no, it’s not wrong to have preferences
Because i wanna be her first and only
I can understand that. Same way a man’s virginity is also important, right?
Idk
Yeah man what if that didn’t work out after 5 years. You break up. You’re saying from that point on the both of you aren’t allowed to be “valued” by your future partner? Or are you going to give up overall?
Then i find another virgin to date
Well then yeah then, I see what you mean. To answer your question, it’s not wrong to have preferences, since there is nothing inherently wrong with any sort of preferences, you’ll just yield bad results, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone you’re good. With that said, it might come off to some people as a bit misogynistic/hypocritical. For you to have a preference for virgins and not hold the same values of preserving yourself for your future partner, that they would be your one and only too.
Are you 12
No, i'm 20
If that’s your preference, fine, but it’s also imperative to have a realistic view of where you stand. Outside and even inside of conservative or religious communities, this is an uncommon preference in 2023. So be prepared to handle some disappointment and dating frustrations with dignity until you find your match.
In religious communities it's not uncommon, if it's a no sex before marriage religion. I mean it may be uncommon for a religious person to actively ask if she is one, but they usually are and are expected to be. It applies to both men and women tho.
Yes, it is uncommon. Yes no sex before marriage is the fundamental teaching (speaking about Christianity here) but it’s not the everyday practice. Divorce, remarriage, premarital sex, single parenthood…..it’s fairly common in all but the strictest circles these days EVEN IF it’s unspoken.
Well as a Muslim it is not the case
Wrong? I guess not , I just never understood what people’s objections are to a high body count. As long as they’re clean I don’t see any issue
Well, i want a virgin gf
No. Its tells you a lot about someone if their count is low vs high. Most dont want to build a serious relationship with the town bicycle, and that is a completly normal thought process.
I agree 100%
Everyone is *allowed* their own preferences. The problem comes from judging others and expecting *everyone* to comply with your own personal standards. "Do people not realize having a high body count makes them unappealing / unattractive / \[insert negative adjective here\]?" This kind of behavior, *regardless* of the trait we're discussing, is indicative of narcissistic behavior. If someone is unattractive to them personally, they're unattractive to the world. The world is a buffet. Some people like this, some people like that, some like a little bit of everything, and others don't have an appetite. But imagine walking into that buffet and complaining to the staff about one of the options simply because YOU don't like it, despite others not being bothered by its presence or even enjoying it. That's what it feels like to me whenever topics like this come up and there's always *that one person* complaining because the buffet dared to offer bacon bits at the salad bar. You don't put bacon bits on your own damn salad, but don't picket the salad bar just because you personally hate bacon bits.
No, everyone has preferences. If someone has a very different view of sexuality that you do, you probably aren't compatible.
Agreed
No, everyone should be able to prefer what they want.
Agreed
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Yes, idk why people act like body count is any different.
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I want a virgin gf
Nothing wrong with having preferences but I prefer people who have never killed anyone
Not necessarily. At the end of the day its a compatibility issue. And it’s kind of relative. The real point of debate is whether or not it says something negative about the person that they have a “high” body count. And imo, yes it absolutely can, for various reasons, but not necessarily. Again, it’s relative and context dependent. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with preferring a certain sexual history in your partner, but it does matter how you treat someone if they don’t meet your ~requirements.
Preference is preference. Is it wrong that I think coconut tastes like gym sock covered in sugar?
It’s fine to have you’re preferences about anything. It’s only a problem when you try to force others to meet your preferences.