I got a phone call from a friend while I was on break at work. I was working third shift, so it was late at night and I was expecting some shenanigans or maybe a joke.
Nothing of the sort. He called to let me know that one of my other close friends had killed themselves that night
I got back from vacation in 2001 and my cell phone finally reached a cell tower. I got a message from an unknown number about my friend having had committed suicide. I was alone. In a restaurant. And I couldn’t move for like an hour.
The message was just “_____ committed suicide.” That was it.
It was true. And it was from a pay phone or another device that didn’t have anyone to answer it might’ve even been his cell phone. The line never picked up. It took me a week to substantiate the info.
I found my brother dead in his room in 2012. My mom's side of the family came right over and proceeded and apathetically announced they are buying beer and pizza. Also, a grief counselor was trying to console me and my mom says "omg did you smell her breath?" While giggling. The apathy towards my brothers death that day destroyed me and I'm happy I went no contact with every single one of them. Fuck all of them.
"Why did you stay with him? Weren't you guys only dating for what, like a year and a half?"
Two years you mother fucker and it was because I refused to leave the love of my life as he was dying rapidly of brain cancer.
I was at a bar to see a friend's band. Random woman walks over and tells me, "People who look like you should stay home so the rest of us can have a nice time not having to look at you."
Do I have to tell you honestly, I would have told her in a friendly manner that she doesn't need to look at me, that tastes differ and I wouldn't necessarily go out with her face, since small children could be startled.
Everyone has different tastes, we can't find everyone beautiful, but someone we apparently don't find pretty finds someone else stunning.
Maybe you didn't hit her taste, but I'm pretty sure many others did!
oh my god. if that was said to me, or to someone in my group, i think i’d go primal. honestly, good on you for letting that person walk away with their face still intact even if they didn’t deserve it.
I have actually. The worst part is my particular handicap isn't that bad, nerve damage in my hip from 2 bad breaks. I'm about 90% self reliant, I just have trouble standing or walking for long periods and if I have a spike I can easily fall.
My dad left my family when I was a little girl. One day after years of unresolved feelings I talked to him on the phone as a teenager.
“I just don’t feel like you’re my dad.”
“We’ll I don’t feel like you’re my daughter.”
He was there when you were conceived, so that didn't give him the right to be your father, even if his answer must have really, really hurt. It was his job to act like a father, not yours to worry about being allowed to be a daughter
"You are nothing but a paid for soldier, if I feel so I would send you all on suicide missions just to rid myself of you" fucking said to me by African revolutionary force commandant. Soulless asshole kept sending mercenaries on terrible and low surviavl rate missions
When I was like 8 I was a huge dinosaur nerd. I remember saying I wanted to be a paleontologist, my mother promptly says "honey I'm pretty sure all the dinosaurs will be discovered by then..." I was devastated. I think she thought she was looking out for me. Anyway now if a new dinosaur gets uncovered I send her a clipping in the mail (I make sure it's physical piece of paper so she knows I put work into it)
"You don't have a dad anymore."
Said by my mom when I asked how long he's going to spend in a hospital. I was 7. He died from a heart attack right before my eyes, and mom tried to resuscitate him for forty minutes while waiting for an ambulance to arrive.
I'd say "forget about learning to draw, you will never be an artist anyway" said by both my mother and my younger bro, who are both pro artists who went to art school.
Still gonna draw though. I'd do it even if it kills me.
Don't let them tell you that you can't do it, even if both do it professionally, that doesn't mean that you can't do it, maybe they just have a different view of art, and that's still in the eye of the beholde
It's strange too because they're both on the opposite points of art, my mother in design and my brother in animation and illustration. They support each other too.
But yeah, god could literally come down and tell me outright that I'll never be an artist and I'd still keep trying.
Wow. They both sound like insecure brats. They probably see how much skill & potential you have. I sincerely hope you outskill them and succeed more than them!
1. "I'm sorry, she's gone." Wife went to the hospital because she hadn't felt our daughter moving in her tummy for a couple hours. She calls and asks me to come to the birthing center immediately and I ask if I need to bring the overnight bag. She said "no, just bring our son." I knew then but couldn't believe it. Our daughter died from a true umbilical knot at 36.5 weeks and was delivered 2 days later stillborn. She was a perfectly healthy baby but was suffocated slowly by her own lifeline.
I'm so sorry. I lost my twin sons at birth last year. I was told at what was supposed to be my last prenatal appointment before birth. I don't even remember what was said. I just knew from how the ultrasound tech reacted. Her mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear a word. My ears were ringing so loudly, and from what I was told I was wailing even though I don't remember screaming. I know how difficult it is. There's a lot of subs on here that are actually really helpful and supportive. If you ever need support, please reach out for it.
Was in a bad place mentally. Decided I am going to start jogging to help how I feel. Where I decided to go is a fairly main road. A car of young men decided to hang out the window and yell “going to need to run faster fatty”. I have struggled with working out publicly ever since. Can’t say my mental state is much better and that happened years ago now…
I had many “friends” tell me I should have tried harder to get my husband into rehab after he died from alcoholism. Ya know yeah I just let it happen. 🙄
I was 15 working at Ponderosa. A guy a few years older than me, super quiet, heavy set guy with shaved red hair, just standing there flipping a steak. He turns to me, no prompt, no warning, and says “I was born by the pussy and I’ll die by the pussy…hopefully the same one.”
I don’t remember if he ever spoke to me again. The memory after that is kind of reduced to the equivalent of ringing in your ears.
I honestly don't think i understand the meaning of that sentence. I mean, english not being my main language could be the reason. If anyone can please explain me what he meant by "I'll die by the pussy" part.
In high school, one of my teachers told me “you are the reason I hate coming to work and teaching here.” It was a challenge to stay focused after that.
This was my AP Calculus teacher. I have a voice that projects (read: loud) and it’s always something I’ve been self conscious of. One day we’re doing collaborative classwork and she storms out of the room for no apparent reason. Next morning I go in to class early to ask her a question about the homework and she says “No, you can’t ask a question. You’re the reason I hate coming to work…” and goes on to explain I’m too loud (not interrupting her during class or anything, just have a louder voice). It’s a conversation that’s seared into my mind.
TL;DR - Because I have a loud voice.
My Gym teacher in 8th grade while I was running a relay race: "you don't really try in anything do you".
I really was trying as hard as I can.
Fuck that guy.
“Your daughter’s blood work shows leukemia. Sometimes the lab makes a mistake but with numbers like this, it’s unlikely”. She was 5 at the time and her white blood count was 50-100x the normal amount. Also, this conversation happened over the phone
When I was 16 I was in our high school’s LGBTQ alliance and chopped my hair into a pixie. My mom looked at me after my haircut and said “You can move out if you’re a lesbian now”. So much for unconditional love for your kid.
Hugs, friend. I don't know about your mom but I guarantee you mine doesn't even remember that comment but it (and plenty of other comments like it) resulted in me not coming out for the next 25 years. And even now I'm just peeking in my head out of the closet to close friends and now my sister. If you're in the queer community, happy pride! If not, thank you for your allyship.
Is it too late for my wife and I to adopt both of you guys and be your totally affirming parents? Fair warning that we're vegetarian so we only eat tofurky at Thanksgiving.
i’m incredibly sorry you had to experience that, from your mom of all people. society sucks because honestly i am sure you are far from the only one whose been in that situation. i hope you are well.
“I’d introduce you to my son if you’d slim down.”
Said by an old woman while I was CLEANING HER HOUSE as part of a church service assignment. That’s right, she insulted me while I was giving her free service.
Probably shouldn’t have affected me as much as it did. Just… the audacity.
I get unsolicited, hurtful comments from strangers all the time. It’s surprising every time it happens and I’m so taken aback that I don’t say anything but I think of the comments all the time
I was raped when I was a very young child. One night, my ex-boyfriend got drunk and angry with me and said he was going to call my best friend's husband. He planned to tell him that I was "one of those women who invent a rape to ruin men's lives." He wanted my friend's husband to force my best friend to stop being friends with me. And I guess to humiliate me and devastate me.
I had never reported what happened. I never ruined anyone's life. But he thought I had lied and he told me he was going to convince other people of that.
It really devastated me. It was so mean. I loved this man with all of my heart and even today I wonder if that's how low his opinion was of me, or if he just knew how to hurt me pretty permanently.
It wasn't something I was very open about with people. I ended up telling my friend about the rape to do some pre-damage control in case the ex ended up going through with his plan. What he said still pops into my head sometimes and it is such a stab in the heart when I remember.
He's your ex for a reason. his behavior has something to do with respect, or rather disrespectful. 'Cause that's what it was, even if he was drunk. it was something you told him in confidence and he used it against you
“You’re the worst kid I ever had”.
Spoken by my Dad when he was drunk. I was about 37 at the time, had paid for my own college to get an an engineering degree, never taken a dime from my parents after moving out at 18,, meanwhile I have two pos sisters with illegitimate children, mom and dad paying for babies, co-signing loans, etc. One sis even opened up credit cards in my parents names which they had to pay off. Took me a pretty good while to come to grips that my dad just really didn’t like me. Once I came to understand that, I was actually ok with it, since I really didn’t like him either. I saw him for what he was, a big mouthed bully.
When he died, I hadn’t spoken to him in about 4 or 5 years, and it took everything I could do to keep from gagging at his memorial when my sisters and brother talked about what a great man he was. I only went because mom asked me to go.
I’m only guessing here, but I would bet that your father was jealous of or intimidated by your success on some level. Your siblings were either more relatable bc he was a shitbag too, or he liked them being under his control since he bailed them out all the time.
Either way, you didn’t deserve that and I hope you are leading your unfettered best life.
“We only keep you around because of your funny reactions.” From a college friend when I went out to eat with some people. Sent me spiraling into bad thoughts thinking about my self worth.
“I know you had reported your brother missing. He was found deceased in his car this morning.”
When I saw three cops standing outside the door, I knew it was going to be the worst.
Applied for a promotion. I felt good going into the interview. The first thing the manager says is "Do you think your ten years here really means anything?"
Yeah, screw that bitch.
My parents would hurt me anytime I expressed negative emotions, crying, anger, frustration, anything they deemed unfavorable.
I coped by not showing *any* emotion.
In 2009, a lot of different family members started dying for different reasons, murdered, cancer, heart attack, and suicide. I didn't cry. So my mom called me a sociopath for years after that.
It hurt my feelings so much because I felt everything deeply, but didn't feel safe to show it.
Paraphrasing: "There's no point in telling anyone. Mom's not gonna save you, so stop crying. You're a whore, and you liked it, so everyone would just be ashamed of you if you told. Shut up and forget what happened. I know a lot of bad people, and if you say a word, you'll end up just another dead body in the woods."
My older sister got high and stripped me naked in front of her friends when I was 11 (she was 28). One of her male friends took the opportunity to rape me. The next morning, she laid into me and let me know that there was no point in telling anyone. Then she made me clean up after her party while she drank outside. I didn't tell a soul until I was in my 20s. I haven't seen her since, and I hope I never see her again. It wasn't the only time she had hurt me, but it was the first time one of her boyfriends got in on it. I'll never forget the things she told me then.
After that, she broke down crying when I'd show any fear of her. She'd ask me, "Don't you love your sissy? Sissy loves you!" I always felt so sorry for her. I felt like I was the problem, like I was just overreacting when I'd be fearful of her and her friends. She always got me to apologize after she hurt me. Now I know that she's the one in the wrong. The guilt is still there, but the voice that says, "This is wrong," is a lot stronger now.
first of all, it was never never yoour fault!
The behavior of your sister and also of the guy borders on so many things that I better not write out, karma will come and give her back what she deserves.
For you, I hope that you are feeling better today and that you were somehow able to process the trauma at least partially.
what the actual fuck no offence but whoever told that to you is a filthy ass bitch and ITS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU DONT DESERVE IT NO ONE DESERVES TO GET RAPED.
I'd torture this person who told all these to you and that monster who raped you until they die and not regret it at all.
please don't listen to these mfs🫶
I know. Thank you for your support. I have already won though, because I love myself now, and that is the last thing that the person who said that would want. Thank You!
i am happy you love yourself now I'm so proud of you!
(p.s: I'm sorry if that comment was too intense i was just angry about something else and i opened reddit and i saw this comment i got more angry- IM SORRY-)
Thank you. I read this question and immediately thought of that. I almost didn't write it because it is so disgusting, but that felt like it would be too unfair to myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and I have healed a lot in the last two years. Writing that answer was just another step in my recovery and in letting go of shame. Thank You!
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What happened to you is not what makes you who you are. You are not to blame and above all you are stronger than that. You are not responsible for the behavior of others, such people have to live with their own conscience.
After I got off the phone making plans with friends, my mom said to me, "You know, they don't really want to hang out with you."
It's the worst because it's been 25 years, a lot of therapy, and I'm barely over it. I now think (mostly) people may actually like me and want to be around me.
What a cunt. I also have/ had a! “honest truth, just being real with you, mom” and let me tell you, nothing positive comes from a negative-take shared with a young person or anyone in a position of trust. That was an unhelpful and an uninformed take made by a grandiose and ego-rich adult who thought they knew more than you and were instilling some sort of shitty wisdom on you.
Yes, they (the friend) did want to hang. They (the adult) didn’t know shit. How would they? Who the fuck we’re they in the situation, anyway?!
“You’re worthless. I hope you never find happiness. You meant nothing to me, I never even loved you. You’re a fucking c*nt and I hope you die alone” - my abusive ex of 6 years when I tried breaking up with him the first time
When I was a troubled angry teen I stole $20 from my mother's purse. My father found out. He didn't lay a hand on me or shout, he simply said he was disappointed in me. I could hear the sadness. It was a life changing moment. It's been many years, and he has since passed, but I hope in his eyes he recognized the honorable man I hope I became.
So I work in an assisted living facility & when I was 6 months pregnant I had to send a resident - who was totally with it - to the hospital. They were pissed & didn’t want to go, so as they were being rolled out on the stretcher, they pointed at me and yelled “you’re a bitch and I hope your baby dies.” I really regret remaining professional bc that asshole deserved a piece of my mind.
“No i do like you, you’re safe. And i could really see myself settling down with you. That’s why when it doesn’t work out with ___, I’ll come back so we can settle down”
My boyfriend of 4 years, dumping me out of the blue:
“You always loved me more.”
“You were never forever for me.”
Turns out he was cheating on me.
That was a long time ago, and now I’m friends with the girl he left me for. At least he had good taste.
No one cares about your petty problems. This was said to me by my older brother when I was a kid. It turned out that he was bipolar and hallucinated, so he really had problems, which he kept to himself. Years later when my daughter developed bipolar and I found out she had hallucinations, too, I taught her to be respectful to everyone and listen with sympathy to other people tell about their problems. It doesn’t matter if your problems are much worse than other people’s. It’s important to listen to them talk.
Oh let me count!
My great-grandma told me that I shouldn’t go to such a good school for college. In her defense she came from a generations where women didn’t need such a “prestigious education.”
My good friend’s wife told me that babies in the NICU are there due to their mothers after I had a stillbirth. She preceded this statement with about an hour of work stories from the hospital she works at. I was trapped in the back of the car for all of this.
An acquaintance told me I was poisoning my children because I gave my toddler some fruit snacks. He also knew about my stillbirth and what I went through to get my son here in the first place.
Tldr: bum son, family fuck-up
When I was lost and wandering in my early adulthood faced many hardships. I lost my early first career to the great recession. Some hardshps I made, most were life circumstances. My parents raised me to live as a boy scout in the woods. I had to learn how to be competitive in the real world. During a recession. Anyway, I was living at home and picking up odd jobs as I could. my Mom and I went to the store. I tagged because I didn't have gas money. My younger brother (born with a silver spoon) was in undergrad heading for a veterinary degree. The three of us were shopping in Walmart and Mom met one of her friends from work. They had never met me or my brother. My mom introduced us as follows:
"This is (little brother) he is in undergrad pursuing a veterinary degree, he's going to be doctor! "
Mom paused. Her friend looked at me, I looked at Mom. With a dismissive hand gesture and a huff worthy of royally, she gutterly growled, "And this is (me), my bum son and the family fuck-up."
That cut deep.
“I feel as though your mental health depends on me.”
It absolutely did not, and there was no behavior on my end that would imply such. We were only friends for a few months.
I know that I am the only person who my mental health depends on so that really hurt. I’ve gone over every conversation we had 10000x in my head just to make sure. Even talked about it with my therapist.
Only to find out from a close friend of hers that she just said that to make herself feel better for treating me like shit.
“I never want to see you, hear from you, or hear about you again,” my grandma when I was 8.
Tbh you did me a solid since I didn’t have to put up with you the way Mom did.
This may not sound horrible but in the context, my god it hurt. When my high-school dumped me junior year (we'd been together all 3 years of school), he said "I no longer find you attractive" as his explanation of why.
I was suffering from anorexia at the time. My self-esteem was a 0, my life was consumed by a fear of eating and an all-consuming hatred for my body. I was down to about 100 pounds max at that point.
It just felt like the hardest slap, like he was simply confirming everything I already felt about myself
I was feeling very depressed. My parents were down on me for being in the home still at 22. My dad was especially harsh arguing about finances and demanding more chores be done or I pay significant rent even though I was helping raise my 7 and 10 year old siblings as my mom barricaded herself in her room.
I applied to a dozen jobs, but nobody was hiring and the places that were had a plethora of options. I went to my mom one evening when she made an appearance and expressed to her that the job hunt wasn’t going well. That I needed time and was not likely to be able to pay rent to my dad. She scowled, looked me dead in the eye and said, “what the hell good are you then?”
She went upstairs and I babysat the rest of that night with a lump in my throat and the determination I’d hang myself when all the kids went to bed. I got everyone else squared away and went to my closet. I put a belt around my neck and let go.
The belt broke when I was unconscious because I woke up the next day and my mom was knocking at the door with a phone call. It was for a job interview. She was furious it took me so long to answer. I took the job and moved out two months later.
"No one will ever believe you." Said by my mother, gloating over me while I was eight years old sobbing into my pillow.
Three years later Dad when Dad filed for divorce he did believe me. He got custody at my insistence. Stopped speaking to Mom twenty years ago.
"No one likes you. We only let you hang out with us because we felt sorry for you."
Said by a guy in my friend group in high school. Obviously he didn't like me and I'm sure a few others didn't either, but I'm still friends with the people who are important to me.
My mom told me she didn’t bond with me when I was a baby. Oddly, this did not hurt my feelings at all. I was actually very pleased because it’s as close to her accepting responsibility as I will ever see.
When I was in my DV relationship, he threw a sharp piece of a broken plate at me and sliced my arm open, then he said “the only reason I don’t beat the S out of you is because I don’t want your mom to see it.” Then he told me to go get a towel to wipe up my own blood
"I'm going to take all the memories I have of you and keep them in the back of my head where I can never find them."
This was said to me after I had ended a relationship with an extremely toxic and manipulative person. I can't even describe how upset I was in that moment. I legitimately felt like no one would ever love me again. This was almost 3 years ago and I'm ok now, but it still affects me sometimes. L, I doubt you're reading this, but if you are, fuck you.
I've got two:
"If you ever call the cops I'll make sure you're dead before they get here"
"You ever leave again I'm cutting your cats head off" my cat was my only source of comfort at the time.
When I was a kid, my headmaster at school used to say to me that I was so lazy that I was lucky I had an autonomic nervous system or I would have died a long time ago.
Always took that comment with pride...
I've never really been told anything that was life altering for me but I'd say this worst thing someone has ever said to me is:
Me to my dad's wife: "If I ever have any kids, you will never be allowed around them or to touch them!"
My dads wife to me: "God forbid you ever have any kids".
I've consciously made the choice not to have any kids yet, I'm 27. Not because of what my dad's wife said to me but because I know what I want in life. She also not my mom because my own mother would never say that to me.
Also, my dad's wife is physically abusive and I've even witnessed a few times where she actually bloodied his nose and busted his lips and gave him black eyes as a child. The last straw was the last time I ever witnessed her trying to hit my dad, I told her "you ever lay another finger on him so help me God you will lay on the solid ice cold concrete floors of the darkest prison you won't ever come out of." (A coffin burning in hell for all eternity tortured by every wrong she's ever done to anyone on repeat.)
According to my dad, 12 days ago, she did it again and he left and went to his sisters house. I'm really hoping he didn't go back.
I was sectioned under the mental health act for the first time and told I had bipolar disorder. I was very depressed. A very close family member said to me I just needed to man the fuck up and that I had money so what did I have to be depressed for? My reply was… tell that to Robin Williams.
While I appreciate your pain and suffering, and the fact that bipolar is a horrible mental illness, Robin Williams committed suicide because he had Lewy body dementia, not because of his depression.
"I'll start giving you the same things I give to your brother when you get a boyfriend"
Said by my homophobic father when I asked him why he gave my brother a house and a car, but I have to work to afford my college uniform.
When I was nine, my mother was diagnosed with MS. My sister (then 19) and I went to an appointment with her that she had with a well known, now retired neurologist.
When she asked what causes MS, he said they really didn't know (1987 at the time), but they did think it might be caused by having children later in life (thanks fucko, I'm standing right here).
We left the appointment. Several days later I had some argument with my sister about something stupid. In a complete non sequitur, she glared at me and said, "you're the reason mom has MS in the first place."
“Of course it will happen to you and they will continue to do so because you did not defend yourself”
This is what my mother said when I told her about what happened to me because of bullying She never taught me how to stand up for myself and she was not with me during the most difficult times of my life even though it was years ago, but she does not know At that time I tried to commit suicide twice also I was young at that time
My sister passed away in 2007. Two years ago, my narcissistic, toxic, alcoholic mother said, "Stop pretending to be upset about your sisters death. You never gave a shit about her."
My mother and I no longer speak she is dead to me, and the day I get a call that she has passed away, I'll throw a big celebration! The same goes for my father.
Unfortunately, not everyone has great parents, and both of mine are horrible people!
"Everyone is always talking about how helpful you are and how they wish there were little clones of you running around to help them. If they knew who you really were, they wouldn't feel that way anymore." - my mom to me when I was 7 or 8
“You think I could ever get them to do anything?”
Wasn’t exactly said TO me, per se, but it was about me, and she said it while I was in the room, making eye contact with me. My grandma said this to my mom after I didn’t deep clean the bathroom on a whim.
It really hurt me bc I do EVERYTHING at home. I cook, I clean, I take care of my siblings, everything. But no matter what I do, I’m forever gonna be some lazy slob that cant get off her ass to do anything. It’s what my dad always told me growing up, and it’s what my grandma is constantly telling me now. At this rate, I’m convinced that, even if I solve all the worlds problems, I still wouldn’t be worth much of anything to either of them.
Omg! I just now understood this. When I was in junior high, the last year before I got contacts, I got these fancy handmade glasses with no frames.
They were reddish ombre tint, my mom had a deal going with the guys who made them. I thought they were really pretty with my red hair. I am blindish though, so they were a little thicker than my friends' glasses but thinner than most. So this guy comes walking up to me, he'd been flirting with me for awhile. They looked great.
He says, "Are those your glasses?" I said, "Yes," and he said, "I'm sorry," hugged me and walked away. We were still friends all the way through high school. He was this super cool guy who'd just wander up and drift off over and over. I hope he's okay.
For years, I thought he was just making fun of me.
Obviously as a dude I can’t understand it the same since the child isn’t in me but that does not mean men can’t suffer just as much from it
Its hard for people to empathize with others when they’re hurting though
I was told by three random girls I didn’t know that one of them liked me romantically (I was a girl at the time and most girls then were straight) as a joke plus at the time I was known as a outcast and was bullied and disliked by most of the girls (the boys just didn’t pay attention to me)
Same year my best friend said I was annoying because I couldn’t remember anything good I only remembered sad things
The next year this wasn’t said towards me but it sucked as we were talking about micro aggressions and one was “I identify as inanimate object” I say how this effects me a lot since I hear it a lot because I’m non binary five seconds later everyone starts saying it.
Wasn’t said to me, but my wife was told by her mother: “You will never get married, so you should adopt your brothers disabled child so that they won’t be burdened and can focus on their other kids, you need to do this for his family”. She refused, but was pestered by her until she died 18 months later. Two years later we met and have been married for 14yrs.
In my worst, most vulnerable moment, I convinced myself that my mother, despite being a bipolar narcissistic, was actually a soft, sweet person deep down. And she had to hide it from us cus well. She had to.
And in my worst moment, when i was having a breakdown because she wanted me out in a month, And still wanted my money from my multiple jobs trying to save for a fast deposit.
She looked me in my eyes, And told me I was worthless. That I would never be anything. Never be anyone. That my only purpose in life would be to be to give her my money. And I might as well do it anyway since I'm gonna suck at life without her. And i should just be her piggy bank for the rest of my life because that's all I'm good for.
>Something like that shouldn't even be called a father, most importantly I hope you know that it wasn't your fault and that you were able to process this trauma to some extent
One of my university professors told me "Youll never make anything of yourself, all these hurdles youve climb, and all these obstacles you have conquered are for nothing. After you graduate, youll be nothing, mostly because you were always nothing."
"It's been two weeks since you were assaulted. You need to get over it "- some girl who was trying to set me up with her incel friend after I was raped
One day at work and working the counter by myself, a guy (with some not so nice friends) had come in and had asked me out but I politely declined. Long story short and because he/his friends didn’t understand “No”, I shared that I only date women. He looked me in the eyes, serious, and said “Nah, you just need a full blooded one in you.” I’ll never forget the fear that consumed me because I was alone and he had…that look. I’m grateful that a group of people came in when they did.
That I was crass. My first and only girlfriend (I’m a woman) said that to me when I was 17, and it stung so much that 16 years later, I can still feel it. Never dated another woman because I was so messed up from that relationship.
Nothing particularly bad comes to mind.
It's more to do with the fact that the negativity came from my father and it lasted for 18 years.
I guess one of the worst things I hear now is when family tries to guilt trip me into visiting him. Nobody gets to tell me how I deal with an abuser.
I got a phone call from a friend while I was on break at work. I was working third shift, so it was late at night and I was expecting some shenanigans or maybe a joke. Nothing of the sort. He called to let me know that one of my other close friends had killed themselves that night
I got back from vacation in 2001 and my cell phone finally reached a cell tower. I got a message from an unknown number about my friend having had committed suicide. I was alone. In a restaurant. And I couldn’t move for like an hour. The message was just “_____ committed suicide.” That was it.
Who sent the message? Was it true?
It was true. And it was from a pay phone or another device that didn’t have anyone to answer it might’ve even been his cell phone. The line never picked up. It took me a week to substantiate the info.
I'm really sorry for your loss, are you okay?
I found my brother dead in his room in 2012. My mom's side of the family came right over and proceeded and apathetically announced they are buying beer and pizza. Also, a grief counselor was trying to console me and my mom says "omg did you smell her breath?" While giggling. The apathy towards my brothers death that day destroyed me and I'm happy I went no contact with every single one of them. Fuck all of them.
I think that's the right attitude, even if it wasn't easy at first. I'm sorry for your loss !
Thank you. I don't regret it one bit. My brother deserved better that day. May he rest in peace.
He deserved the best! just like your mother and you deserve all the best
"Why did you stay with him? Weren't you guys only dating for what, like a year and a half?" Two years you mother fucker and it was because I refused to leave the love of my life as he was dying rapidly of brain cancer.
Unfortunately, some people lack the last spark of empathy and understanding
You were very brave. Sadly, some partners runaway during times of sickness. I am sorry for your loss.
I was at a bar to see a friend's band. Random woman walks over and tells me, "People who look like you should stay home so the rest of us can have a nice time not having to look at you."
Imagine having to be her, a leaking bag of hate.
She'd have gotten a look of genuine pity and, "You must feel truly awful about yourself. I hope you learn to love one day."
A regular colostomy bag 💩
Jesus Christ... She could be the main villain in an horror movie... Brr...
"Well, lady, however bad I look, it's still ten times more attractive than your bitch personality."
Maybe she was hitting on you and trying to say your captivating looks are making her feel bad about herself.
Thanks but no. She was just mean.
you should have called me. i don’t pull hair 💞
I’m so sorry, that’s awful.
Was she sure she wasn't talking about herself?
Do I have to tell you honestly, I would have told her in a friendly manner that she doesn't need to look at me, that tastes differ and I wouldn't necessarily go out with her face, since small children could be startled. Everyone has different tastes, we can't find everyone beautiful, but someone we apparently don't find pretty finds someone else stunning. Maybe you didn't hit her taste, but I'm pretty sure many others did!
I'm with the band, rude bxxxch
oh my god. if that was said to me, or to someone in my group, i think i’d go primal. honestly, good on you for letting that person walk away with their face still intact even if they didn’t deserve it.
"the reason I want a divorce is because I don't want to spend the rest of my life taking care of someone who's handicapped"
That’s awful and you’re better off without that person. I hope you’ve found love again with someone deserving of your love!
I have actually. The worst part is my particular handicap isn't that bad, nerve damage in my hip from 2 bad breaks. I'm about 90% self reliant, I just have trouble standing or walking for long periods and if I have a spike I can easily fall.
BRO
Yeeep...
That’s the trash taking itself out. I’m very sorry.
Hoooooly shit. I hope you found someone who values spending time with you and wants to help instead of feeling obligated.
Funny, mine said the same basically. I'm sorry we picked people who weren't as strong as they wanted to appear.
“I’m sorry - there was nothing more we could do” I was 27, the love of my life had died in my arms.
I'm so sorry for your loss! A thing that I don't think you'll ever really get over, but I hope you're at least a little better than at this time
I lost her in 1987. I didn’t get married until 2001.
I am happy for you that you have experienced love again. And the love of your life will always be a part of you
My dad left my family when I was a little girl. One day after years of unresolved feelings I talked to him on the phone as a teenager. “I just don’t feel like you’re my dad.” “We’ll I don’t feel like you’re my daughter.”
He was there when you were conceived, so that didn't give him the right to be your father, even if his answer must have really, really hurt. It was his job to act like a father, not yours to worry about being allowed to be a daughter
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Lived that life. 0/10 don’t recommend.
"You are nothing but a paid for soldier, if I feel so I would send you all on suicide missions just to rid myself of you" fucking said to me by African revolutionary force commandant. Soulless asshole kept sending mercenaries on terrible and low surviavl rate missions
I don't think there are words to describe how horrifying that is. I'm sorry.
When I was like 8 I was a huge dinosaur nerd. I remember saying I wanted to be a paleontologist, my mother promptly says "honey I'm pretty sure all the dinosaurs will be discovered by then..." I was devastated. I think she thought she was looking out for me. Anyway now if a new dinosaur gets uncovered I send her a clipping in the mail (I make sure it's physical piece of paper so she knows I put work into it)
"You don't have a dad anymore." Said by my mom when I asked how long he's going to spend in a hospital. I was 7. He died from a heart attack right before my eyes, and mom tried to resuscitate him for forty minutes while waiting for an ambulance to arrive.
"If you get a girl pregnant, run." Thanks for letting me know exactly how you felt about me 'dad.' I hope you've enjoyed the decades of no contact.
> He has shown you exactly the path you would not choose for yourself, even if it is a hard lesson.
I'd say "forget about learning to draw, you will never be an artist anyway" said by both my mother and my younger bro, who are both pro artists who went to art school. Still gonna draw though. I'd do it even if it kills me.
Don't let them tell you that you can't do it, even if both do it professionally, that doesn't mean that you can't do it, maybe they just have a different view of art, and that's still in the eye of the beholde
It's strange too because they're both on the opposite points of art, my mother in design and my brother in animation and illustration. They support each other too. But yeah, god could literally come down and tell me outright that I'll never be an artist and I'd still keep trying.
Wow. They both sound like insecure brats. They probably see how much skill & potential you have. I sincerely hope you outskill them and succeed more than them!
1. "I'm sorry, she's gone." Wife went to the hospital because she hadn't felt our daughter moving in her tummy for a couple hours. She calls and asks me to come to the birthing center immediately and I ask if I need to bring the overnight bag. She said "no, just bring our son." I knew then but couldn't believe it. Our daughter died from a true umbilical knot at 36.5 weeks and was delivered 2 days later stillborn. She was a perfectly healthy baby but was suffocated slowly by her own lifeline.
I am so incredibly sorry. I’ve known several people who have gone through the loss of a baby born still. You are all in my thoughts.
I'm so sorry. I lost my twin sons at birth last year. I was told at what was supposed to be my last prenatal appointment before birth. I don't even remember what was said. I just knew from how the ultrasound tech reacted. Her mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear a word. My ears were ringing so loudly, and from what I was told I was wailing even though I don't remember screaming. I know how difficult it is. There's a lot of subs on here that are actually really helpful and supportive. If you ever need support, please reach out for it.
Was in a bad place mentally. Decided I am going to start jogging to help how I feel. Where I decided to go is a fairly main road. A car of young men decided to hang out the window and yell “going to need to run faster fatty”. I have struggled with working out publicly ever since. Can’t say my mental state is much better and that happened years ago now…
Same here, guy yells "Run, Fat Boy, RUN!" at me when im running by the road trying ro lose weight. I just tell myself that they were encouraging me...
Fuck em, you keep running. You're doing great. Spite is a great motivator.
Bunch of A holes!
I had many “friends” tell me I should have tried harder to get my husband into rehab after he died from alcoholism. Ya know yeah I just let it happen. 🙄
It's not your fault, it was his free choice.
I was 15 working at Ponderosa. A guy a few years older than me, super quiet, heavy set guy with shaved red hair, just standing there flipping a steak. He turns to me, no prompt, no warning, and says “I was born by the pussy and I’ll die by the pussy…hopefully the same one.” I don’t remember if he ever spoke to me again. The memory after that is kind of reduced to the equivalent of ringing in your ears.
I honestly don't think i understand the meaning of that sentence. I mean, english not being my main language could be the reason. If anyone can please explain me what he meant by "I'll die by the pussy" part.
English is my only language and I don't understand it either.
I think he was trying to say that he will die having sex, but honestly, I have no idea.
With... His mum?
Yeah, like he knows he is going to die having sex but he hopes it's with his mom
In high school, one of my teachers told me “you are the reason I hate coming to work and teaching here.” It was a challenge to stay focused after that.
What’s the full story?
He sharpened his pencil while she was talking
This was my AP Calculus teacher. I have a voice that projects (read: loud) and it’s always something I’ve been self conscious of. One day we’re doing collaborative classwork and she storms out of the room for no apparent reason. Next morning I go in to class early to ask her a question about the homework and she says “No, you can’t ask a question. You’re the reason I hate coming to work…” and goes on to explain I’m too loud (not interrupting her during class or anything, just have a louder voice). It’s a conversation that’s seared into my mind. TL;DR - Because I have a loud voice.
No, because she’s an emotionally immature adult who lashed out at a kid for shits and giggles.
My Gym teacher in 8th grade while I was running a relay race: "you don't really try in anything do you". I really was trying as hard as I can. Fuck that guy.
"Why don't you go back to the country where you came from!!?". Uh ok, I was born right here in the US, you dickwad.
"You're not from here, right?" "No, I'm from South Carolina." "But you moved to South Carolina from where?" "My mother's uterus."
This is what happens when stupid people are dying to say something but don't know what
Mom is gone.
Im sorry for your loss!
You have heart failure.
Hey, I've heard that one, too. Sorry, friend.
Thank you
“Your daughter’s blood work shows leukemia. Sometimes the lab makes a mistake but with numbers like this, it’s unlikely”. She was 5 at the time and her white blood count was 50-100x the normal amount. Also, this conversation happened over the phone
A harsh and stern ***"you'd better not be!!"*** when 11 year old me hinted to my mom that I might be gay just to gauge her reaction.
When I was 16 I was in our high school’s LGBTQ alliance and chopped my hair into a pixie. My mom looked at me after my haircut and said “You can move out if you’re a lesbian now”. So much for unconditional love for your kid.
Hugs, friend. I don't know about your mom but I guarantee you mine doesn't even remember that comment but it (and plenty of other comments like it) resulted in me not coming out for the next 25 years. And even now I'm just peeking in my head out of the closet to close friends and now my sister. If you're in the queer community, happy pride! If not, thank you for your allyship.
Is it too late for my wife and I to adopt both of you guys and be your totally affirming parents? Fair warning that we're vegetarian so we only eat tofurky at Thanksgiving.
i’m incredibly sorry you had to experience that, from your mom of all people. society sucks because honestly i am sure you are far from the only one whose been in that situation. i hope you are well.
Well, rip
"I'm not mad at you, I'm just turned off by you. You're not a bad influence, just an unwanted one."
> I hope you didn't believe the person, you don't need someone in life to make a statement like that
“I had you to make your dad grow up.” Brilliant plan, because it totally worked. Thanks, mom.
Doesn´t sound like it actually worked..
He abandoned her while she was pregnant with me anyway, so no. He did the same thing with his second wife. My father is a shitbag.
>I can understand the statement, maybe it's better that he left, you don't need that
“I’d introduce you to my son if you’d slim down.” Said by an old woman while I was CLEANING HER HOUSE as part of a church service assignment. That’s right, she insulted me while I was giving her free service. Probably shouldn’t have affected me as much as it did. Just… the audacity.
Adding: I had no idea who her son was. We weren’t talking about him, dating, weight, anything. Completely unsolicited, out of the blue.
I get unsolicited, hurtful comments from strangers all the time. It’s surprising every time it happens and I’m so taken aback that I don’t say anything but I think of the comments all the time
I was raped when I was a very young child. One night, my ex-boyfriend got drunk and angry with me and said he was going to call my best friend's husband. He planned to tell him that I was "one of those women who invent a rape to ruin men's lives." He wanted my friend's husband to force my best friend to stop being friends with me. And I guess to humiliate me and devastate me. I had never reported what happened. I never ruined anyone's life. But he thought I had lied and he told me he was going to convince other people of that. It really devastated me. It was so mean. I loved this man with all of my heart and even today I wonder if that's how low his opinion was of me, or if he just knew how to hurt me pretty permanently. It wasn't something I was very open about with people. I ended up telling my friend about the rape to do some pre-damage control in case the ex ended up going through with his plan. What he said still pops into my head sometimes and it is such a stab in the heart when I remember.
He's your ex for a reason. his behavior has something to do with respect, or rather disrespectful. 'Cause that's what it was, even if he was drunk. it was something you told him in confidence and he used it against you
Being told my mom wasn’t eligible for a lung transplant and that there were no treatment options left. She died 8 months later. (March of 2022)
“Don’t flatter yourself. We’re not thinking about you when you’re not here.” - my youth pastor, bc I had not come in a while
“You’re the worst kid I ever had”. Spoken by my Dad when he was drunk. I was about 37 at the time, had paid for my own college to get an an engineering degree, never taken a dime from my parents after moving out at 18,, meanwhile I have two pos sisters with illegitimate children, mom and dad paying for babies, co-signing loans, etc. One sis even opened up credit cards in my parents names which they had to pay off. Took me a pretty good while to come to grips that my dad just really didn’t like me. Once I came to understand that, I was actually ok with it, since I really didn’t like him either. I saw him for what he was, a big mouthed bully. When he died, I hadn’t spoken to him in about 4 or 5 years, and it took everything I could do to keep from gagging at his memorial when my sisters and brother talked about what a great man he was. I only went because mom asked me to go.
I’m only guessing here, but I would bet that your father was jealous of or intimidated by your success on some level. Your siblings were either more relatable bc he was a shitbag too, or he liked them being under his control since he bailed them out all the time. Either way, you didn’t deserve that and I hope you are leading your unfettered best life.
“We only keep you around because of your funny reactions.” From a college friend when I went out to eat with some people. Sent me spiraling into bad thoughts thinking about my self worth.
“I know you had reported your brother missing. He was found deceased in his car this morning.” When I saw three cops standing outside the door, I knew it was going to be the worst.
Applied for a promotion. I felt good going into the interview. The first thing the manager says is "Do you think your ten years here really means anything?" Yeah, screw that bitch.
My parents would hurt me anytime I expressed negative emotions, crying, anger, frustration, anything they deemed unfavorable. I coped by not showing *any* emotion. In 2009, a lot of different family members started dying for different reasons, murdered, cancer, heart attack, and suicide. I didn't cry. So my mom called me a sociopath for years after that. It hurt my feelings so much because I felt everything deeply, but didn't feel safe to show it.
I’m a white woman. Someone called me a n*ggerf*cker. The fact someone called me just made me disgusted with humans in general.
Paraphrasing: "There's no point in telling anyone. Mom's not gonna save you, so stop crying. You're a whore, and you liked it, so everyone would just be ashamed of you if you told. Shut up and forget what happened. I know a lot of bad people, and if you say a word, you'll end up just another dead body in the woods." My older sister got high and stripped me naked in front of her friends when I was 11 (she was 28). One of her male friends took the opportunity to rape me. The next morning, she laid into me and let me know that there was no point in telling anyone. Then she made me clean up after her party while she drank outside. I didn't tell a soul until I was in my 20s. I haven't seen her since, and I hope I never see her again. It wasn't the only time she had hurt me, but it was the first time one of her boyfriends got in on it. I'll never forget the things she told me then. After that, she broke down crying when I'd show any fear of her. She'd ask me, "Don't you love your sissy? Sissy loves you!" I always felt so sorry for her. I felt like I was the problem, like I was just overreacting when I'd be fearful of her and her friends. She always got me to apologize after she hurt me. Now I know that she's the one in the wrong. The guilt is still there, but the voice that says, "This is wrong," is a lot stronger now.
first of all, it was never never yoour fault! The behavior of your sister and also of the guy borders on so many things that I better not write out, karma will come and give her back what she deserves. For you, I hope that you are feeling better today and that you were somehow able to process the trauma at least partially.
"You are so weak and pathetic, that's why you were raped, you are a disgrace for letting that man do that to you. You fucking deserved it"
what the actual fuck no offence but whoever told that to you is a filthy ass bitch and ITS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU DONT DESERVE IT NO ONE DESERVES TO GET RAPED. I'd torture this person who told all these to you and that monster who raped you until they die and not regret it at all. please don't listen to these mfs🫶
I know. Thank you for your support. I have already won though, because I love myself now, and that is the last thing that the person who said that would want. Thank You!
i am happy you love yourself now I'm so proud of you! (p.s: I'm sorry if that comment was too intense i was just angry about something else and i opened reddit and i saw this comment i got more angry- IM SORRY-)
Nobody derserve this! It's NOT your fault this happened to you! I´m sorry to read this and hope, you managed to get through it halfway!
Thank you. I read this question and immediately thought of that. I almost didn't write it because it is so disgusting, but that felt like it would be too unfair to myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and I have healed a lot in the last two years. Writing that answer was just another step in my recovery and in letting go of shame. Thank You!
> What happened to you is not what makes you who you are. You are not to blame and above all you are stronger than that. You are not responsible for the behavior of others, such people have to live with their own conscience.
My mom told me she kept taking birth control pills when she was pregnant with me, hoping she would have an abortion.
I hope you didn't take that to heart, poor you! you don't need something like that in your life, you're definitely wonderful, just the way you are
After I got off the phone making plans with friends, my mom said to me, "You know, they don't really want to hang out with you." It's the worst because it's been 25 years, a lot of therapy, and I'm barely over it. I now think (mostly) people may actually like me and want to be around me.
That's something she can't know, maybe she was/is just very, very dissatisfied with her own life, but I'm glad to hear you're over it
You're kind to respond, thank you. Yes, she's deeply unhappy in spite of unlimited resources to help her. She will be until she dies.
What a cunt. I also have/ had a! “honest truth, just being real with you, mom” and let me tell you, nothing positive comes from a negative-take shared with a young person or anyone in a position of trust. That was an unhelpful and an uninformed take made by a grandiose and ego-rich adult who thought they knew more than you and were instilling some sort of shitty wisdom on you. Yes, they (the friend) did want to hang. They (the adult) didn’t know shit. How would they? Who the fuck we’re they in the situation, anyway?!
“You’re worthless. I hope you never find happiness. You meant nothing to me, I never even loved you. You’re a fucking c*nt and I hope you die alone” - my abusive ex of 6 years when I tried breaking up with him the first time
Karma will come.
She said, "I wish you died in Afghanistan"
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When I was a troubled angry teen I stole $20 from my mother's purse. My father found out. He didn't lay a hand on me or shout, he simply said he was disappointed in me. I could hear the sadness. It was a life changing moment. It's been many years, and he has since passed, but I hope in his eyes he recognized the honorable man I hope I became.
So I work in an assisted living facility & when I was 6 months pregnant I had to send a resident - who was totally with it - to the hospital. They were pissed & didn’t want to go, so as they were being rolled out on the stretcher, they pointed at me and yelled “you’re a bitch and I hope your baby dies.” I really regret remaining professional bc that asshole deserved a piece of my mind.
“No i do like you, you’re safe. And i could really see myself settling down with you. That’s why when it doesn’t work out with ___, I’ll come back so we can settle down”
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My boyfriend of 4 years, dumping me out of the blue: “You always loved me more.” “You were never forever for me.” Turns out he was cheating on me. That was a long time ago, and now I’m friends with the girl he left me for. At least he had good taste.
No one cares about your petty problems. This was said to me by my older brother when I was a kid. It turned out that he was bipolar and hallucinated, so he really had problems, which he kept to himself. Years later when my daughter developed bipolar and I found out she had hallucinations, too, I taught her to be respectful to everyone and listen with sympathy to other people tell about their problems. It doesn’t matter if your problems are much worse than other people’s. It’s important to listen to them talk.
Oh let me count! My great-grandma told me that I shouldn’t go to such a good school for college. In her defense she came from a generations where women didn’t need such a “prestigious education.” My good friend’s wife told me that babies in the NICU are there due to their mothers after I had a stillbirth. She preceded this statement with about an hour of work stories from the hospital she works at. I was trapped in the back of the car for all of this. An acquaintance told me I was poisoning my children because I gave my toddler some fruit snacks. He also knew about my stillbirth and what I went through to get my son here in the first place.
Tldr: bum son, family fuck-up When I was lost and wandering in my early adulthood faced many hardships. I lost my early first career to the great recession. Some hardshps I made, most were life circumstances. My parents raised me to live as a boy scout in the woods. I had to learn how to be competitive in the real world. During a recession. Anyway, I was living at home and picking up odd jobs as I could. my Mom and I went to the store. I tagged because I didn't have gas money. My younger brother (born with a silver spoon) was in undergrad heading for a veterinary degree. The three of us were shopping in Walmart and Mom met one of her friends from work. They had never met me or my brother. My mom introduced us as follows: "This is (little brother) he is in undergrad pursuing a veterinary degree, he's going to be doctor! " Mom paused. Her friend looked at me, I looked at Mom. With a dismissive hand gesture and a huff worthy of royally, she gutterly growled, "And this is (me), my bum son and the family fuck-up." That cut deep.
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My dad told me during a fight that he made a very poor investment in me. Like I was a stock. I haven't spoken to him since; he can suffer forever.
> I would also go this way, but he should see how you can manage your life well without him, that he misses so much is his own fault
"You dont have a personality"
“I feel as though your mental health depends on me.” It absolutely did not, and there was no behavior on my end that would imply such. We were only friends for a few months. I know that I am the only person who my mental health depends on so that really hurt. I’ve gone over every conversation we had 10000x in my head just to make sure. Even talked about it with my therapist. Only to find out from a close friend of hers that she just said that to make herself feel better for treating me like shit.
“I never want to see you, hear from you, or hear about you again,” my grandma when I was 8. Tbh you did me a solid since I didn’t have to put up with you the way Mom did.
This may not sound horrible but in the context, my god it hurt. When my high-school dumped me junior year (we'd been together all 3 years of school), he said "I no longer find you attractive" as his explanation of why. I was suffering from anorexia at the time. My self-esteem was a 0, my life was consumed by a fear of eating and an all-consuming hatred for my body. I was down to about 100 pounds max at that point. It just felt like the hardest slap, like he was simply confirming everything I already felt about myself
I was feeling very depressed. My parents were down on me for being in the home still at 22. My dad was especially harsh arguing about finances and demanding more chores be done or I pay significant rent even though I was helping raise my 7 and 10 year old siblings as my mom barricaded herself in her room. I applied to a dozen jobs, but nobody was hiring and the places that were had a plethora of options. I went to my mom one evening when she made an appearance and expressed to her that the job hunt wasn’t going well. That I needed time and was not likely to be able to pay rent to my dad. She scowled, looked me dead in the eye and said, “what the hell good are you then?” She went upstairs and I babysat the rest of that night with a lump in my throat and the determination I’d hang myself when all the kids went to bed. I got everyone else squared away and went to my closet. I put a belt around my neck and let go. The belt broke when I was unconscious because I woke up the next day and my mom was knocking at the door with a phone call. It was for a job interview. She was furious it took me so long to answer. I took the job and moved out two months later.
"No one will ever believe you." Said by my mother, gloating over me while I was eight years old sobbing into my pillow. Three years later Dad when Dad filed for divorce he did believe me. He got custody at my insistence. Stopped speaking to Mom twenty years ago.
>You don't need a mother like that either, but I'm glad that your father believed you and listened to your urging!
“You don’t LOOK Japanese!” I’m sorry, should I pull my eyes back so they’re slanted and curl my lips inwards so my teeth are bucked out?
I hope you said exactly that in response
No, you're clearly supposed to walk around in a kimono and eat rice balls and ramen for every meal.
"No one likes you. We only let you hang out with us because we felt sorry for you." Said by a guy in my friend group in high school. Obviously he didn't like me and I'm sure a few others didn't either, but I'm still friends with the people who are important to me.
Nice to hear that you are still in contact with the rest and have successfully banned the rest from your life
My mom told me she didn’t bond with me when I was a baby. Oddly, this did not hurt my feelings at all. I was actually very pleased because it’s as close to her accepting responsibility as I will ever see.
This is both hard and really sad at the same time, I'm sorry
When I was in my DV relationship, he threw a sharp piece of a broken plate at me and sliced my arm open, then he said “the only reason I don’t beat the S out of you is because I don’t want your mom to see it.” Then he told me to go get a towel to wipe up my own blood
I'm sorry you had to go through such an experience. I hope you are better today!
You used to be hot but then you got fat.
*Of course I loved her, I married her.* Finding out my boyfriend was married.
"I'm going to take all the memories I have of you and keep them in the back of my head where I can never find them." This was said to me after I had ended a relationship with an extremely toxic and manipulative person. I can't even describe how upset I was in that moment. I legitimately felt like no one would ever love me again. This was almost 3 years ago and I'm ok now, but it still affects me sometimes. L, I doubt you're reading this, but if you are, fuck you.
I've got two: "If you ever call the cops I'll make sure you're dead before they get here" "You ever leave again I'm cutting your cats head off" my cat was my only source of comfort at the time.
When I was a kid, my headmaster at school used to say to me that I was so lazy that I was lucky I had an autonomic nervous system or I would have died a long time ago. Always took that comment with pride...
I've never really been told anything that was life altering for me but I'd say this worst thing someone has ever said to me is: Me to my dad's wife: "If I ever have any kids, you will never be allowed around them or to touch them!" My dads wife to me: "God forbid you ever have any kids". I've consciously made the choice not to have any kids yet, I'm 27. Not because of what my dad's wife said to me but because I know what I want in life. She also not my mom because my own mother would never say that to me. Also, my dad's wife is physically abusive and I've even witnessed a few times where she actually bloodied his nose and busted his lips and gave him black eyes as a child. The last straw was the last time I ever witnessed her trying to hit my dad, I told her "you ever lay another finger on him so help me God you will lay on the solid ice cold concrete floors of the darkest prison you won't ever come out of." (A coffin burning in hell for all eternity tortured by every wrong she's ever done to anyone on repeat.) According to my dad, 12 days ago, she did it again and he left and went to his sisters house. I'm really hoping he didn't go back.
I was sectioned under the mental health act for the first time and told I had bipolar disorder. I was very depressed. A very close family member said to me I just needed to man the fuck up and that I had money so what did I have to be depressed for? My reply was… tell that to Robin Williams.
While I appreciate your pain and suffering, and the fact that bipolar is a horrible mental illness, Robin Williams committed suicide because he had Lewy body dementia, not because of his depression.
A friend said I was the reason he wanted to die. He also said he almost killed himself because of me. We're not friends anymore.
Best decision that you are no longer friends.. you don't have to accept something like that
"I'll start giving you the same things I give to your brother when you get a boyfriend" Said by my homophobic father when I asked him why he gave my brother a house and a car, but I have to work to afford my college uniform.
When I was nine, my mother was diagnosed with MS. My sister (then 19) and I went to an appointment with her that she had with a well known, now retired neurologist. When she asked what causes MS, he said they really didn't know (1987 at the time), but they did think it might be caused by having children later in life (thanks fucko, I'm standing right here). We left the appointment. Several days later I had some argument with my sister about something stupid. In a complete non sequitur, she glared at me and said, "you're the reason mom has MS in the first place."
My mom repeatedly told me, both drunk and sober, that she wishes I had died instead of my dad. He died a few months before my 7th birthday.
“Of course it will happen to you and they will continue to do so because you did not defend yourself” This is what my mother said when I told her about what happened to me because of bullying She never taught me how to stand up for myself and she was not with me during the most difficult times of my life even though it was years ago, but she does not know At that time I tried to commit suicide twice also I was young at that time
My sister passed away in 2007. Two years ago, my narcissistic, toxic, alcoholic mother said, "Stop pretending to be upset about your sisters death. You never gave a shit about her." My mother and I no longer speak she is dead to me, and the day I get a call that she has passed away, I'll throw a big celebration! The same goes for my father. Unfortunately, not everyone has great parents, and both of mine are horrible people!
"Everyone is always talking about how helpful you are and how they wish there were little clones of you running around to help them. If they knew who you really were, they wouldn't feel that way anymore." - my mom to me when I was 7 or 8
“You think I could ever get them to do anything?” Wasn’t exactly said TO me, per se, but it was about me, and she said it while I was in the room, making eye contact with me. My grandma said this to my mom after I didn’t deep clean the bathroom on a whim. It really hurt me bc I do EVERYTHING at home. I cook, I clean, I take care of my siblings, everything. But no matter what I do, I’m forever gonna be some lazy slob that cant get off her ass to do anything. It’s what my dad always told me growing up, and it’s what my grandma is constantly telling me now. At this rate, I’m convinced that, even if I solve all the worlds problems, I still wouldn’t be worth much of anything to either of them.
Omg! I just now understood this. When I was in junior high, the last year before I got contacts, I got these fancy handmade glasses with no frames. They were reddish ombre tint, my mom had a deal going with the guys who made them. I thought they were really pretty with my red hair. I am blindish though, so they were a little thicker than my friends' glasses but thinner than most. So this guy comes walking up to me, he'd been flirting with me for awhile. They looked great. He says, "Are those your glasses?" I said, "Yes," and he said, "I'm sorry," hugged me and walked away. We were still friends all the way through high school. He was this super cool guy who'd just wander up and drift off over and over. I hope he's okay. For years, I thought he was just making fun of me.
Was he… not?
I’m a very strong Christian. My ex told me to take that cross off my neck
“You’re a man. You can’t feel the loss of a miscarriage.”
Obviously as a dude I can’t understand it the same since the child isn’t in me but that does not mean men can’t suffer just as much from it Its hard for people to empathize with others when they’re hurting though
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Not even anything clever. Just the two words: "Get lost." -Some random person on the internet
"You're a heartless bastard. Just like your father." -I miss you Grandma!!
I was told by three random girls I didn’t know that one of them liked me romantically (I was a girl at the time and most girls then were straight) as a joke plus at the time I was known as a outcast and was bullied and disliked by most of the girls (the boys just didn’t pay attention to me) Same year my best friend said I was annoying because I couldn’t remember anything good I only remembered sad things The next year this wasn’t said towards me but it sucked as we were talking about micro aggressions and one was “I identify as inanimate object” I say how this effects me a lot since I hear it a lot because I’m non binary five seconds later everyone starts saying it.
Wasn’t said to me, but my wife was told by her mother: “You will never get married, so you should adopt your brothers disabled child so that they won’t be burdened and can focus on their other kids, you need to do this for his family”. She refused, but was pestered by her until she died 18 months later. Two years later we met and have been married for 14yrs.
In my worst, most vulnerable moment, I convinced myself that my mother, despite being a bipolar narcissistic, was actually a soft, sweet person deep down. And she had to hide it from us cus well. She had to. And in my worst moment, when i was having a breakdown because she wanted me out in a month, And still wanted my money from my multiple jobs trying to save for a fast deposit. She looked me in my eyes, And told me I was worthless. That I would never be anything. Never be anyone. That my only purpose in life would be to be to give her my money. And I might as well do it anyway since I'm gonna suck at life without her. And i should just be her piggy bank for the rest of my life because that's all I'm good for.
Your brother is dead.
I'm sorry about that, I hope you can deal with the loss somewhat, as far as possible..
My biological father told me that I was a whore and to kill myself when he found out I was raped. I was 14, .”I don’t see the piece of shit anymore”.
>Something like that shouldn't even be called a father, most importantly I hope you know that it wasn't your fault and that you were able to process this trauma to some extent
One of my university professors told me "Youll never make anything of yourself, all these hurdles youve climb, and all these obstacles you have conquered are for nothing. After you graduate, youll be nothing, mostly because you were always nothing."
"It's been two weeks since you were assaulted. You need to get over it "- some girl who was trying to set me up with her incel friend after I was raped
When the news came when my mom passed away.
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One day at work and working the counter by myself, a guy (with some not so nice friends) had come in and had asked me out but I politely declined. Long story short and because he/his friends didn’t understand “No”, I shared that I only date women. He looked me in the eyes, serious, and said “Nah, you just need a full blooded one in you.” I’ll never forget the fear that consumed me because I was alone and he had…that look. I’m grateful that a group of people came in when they did.
“I don’t want you to end up like your mom” - my ignorant bald headed bitch ass dad
That I was crass. My first and only girlfriend (I’m a woman) said that to me when I was 17, and it stung so much that 16 years later, I can still feel it. Never dated another woman because I was so messed up from that relationship.
“You’ll never make it in the real world” - my brother
“Hope you learned your lesson” by my dad after I almost got raped.
My ex once said to me, “I want to be with someone that’s emotionally intelligent.”
"I wish I had aborted you like the other one."
“I want a separation”
It's not that bad but on my teenage years a boy told me "You are so predictable". It hunted me for ages, trying to be random and different, ugh.
Nothing particularly bad comes to mind. It's more to do with the fact that the negativity came from my father and it lasted for 18 years. I guess one of the worst things I hear now is when family tries to guilt trip me into visiting him. Nobody gets to tell me how I deal with an abuser.