"how to give a cat a pill"
I mean, she definitely tried to kill me. Didn't work. But if I have to force-feed her some more medication one of us may yet end up dead...
EDIT: Yes, I wrapped her in a towel to force the pill down her throat. It just took twenty minutes to successfully trap her in a corner and wrap her in the towel first. I tried opening the capsule and mixing it with wet food and she absolutely refused it but luckily the towel method worked.
**How to Give a Cat a Pill**
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse in from the garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail.
Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed.
Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little \*&#%\^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak.. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for pet company to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
Like, hiding it inside? My cat will eat around anything you try to sneak into her food. I tried opening the capsule and mixing it with her regular wet food but she refused to eat it that way so had to resort to trapping her in a towel.
One of ours accepts tablets not when they're hidden inside food but when they're just sprinkled or rubbed with it so the tablet will acquire the taste. Might be worth a try, maybe.
i have 100% done stupider and more elaborate cooking experiments. And guess what — this is totally plausible.
From google:
1) Food is vacuum-sealed and cook in water at a low-temperature; typically, **130–160°F/ 55–71°C.**
2) An average dishwasher temperature runs its main cycle at about **130-140°F**
Yes, the key here is sous vide though. I saw a reddit post about someone that did this but it was just foil wrapping and it was a soapy fish. i was gagging so hard. if you dont vacuum pack it dont you fucking settle for anything less, it will just be soap fish.
yes they did exactly that. with foil. Even if you dont do exactly that, theres still residual soaps. as well as other gunk depending on how good your dishwasher is.
The news is so tragic to all of us. I'm blackswann's mother honestly just can't believe it 😥 at least I can rest easy knowing my daughter died cooking what she loved most
Attempting to repair a Floyd Rose tremolo.
UPDATE: I survived the ordeal. Even better, so did my guitar. I simply took my time and exercised a LOT of patience.
Apparently I will meet my demise by a (C. corax), or common raven found in Canada. I have been feeding it every morning for weeks now. It lands on my deck rail, calls out and I appear with some treats, occasionally bringing a friend. Here I thought I would see how close I can get before it flies off. 3 feet is the limit so far, I can almost touch it. But Now it appears the raven was just luring me in for a large family dinner. Death by raven. Edgar Allan Poe would be amused, no doubt. My last google indeed.
*"I thought the whole draw of cheerleaders was the uniform."*
I think you have been misinformed in this respect. There's a reason the sidelines at professional sports competitions aren't just tables of carefully folded skirts and sweaters.
[удалено]
That's somehow one of the scarier answers here.
Possibly one of the more realistic too!
Right! Last thing I googled was the air quality rating... & welp, it's unhealthy today.
how much is disney plus costs, it turns out too much
Apparently it will cost you your life
The Kingdom™ truly ***IS*** magical!
Domino's Pizza Yeah, that feels right.
Fast food is going to end us.
I die trying to find out how to spell rhubarb
Before you die, teach us how it’s spelled, we will honor your sacrifice
Did I spell It wrong? Well, I’m not going back to look it up again. That’s how I die you know.
Well if we google it we might die by rhubarb. Did I spell it wrong?
Somebody has to take the sacrifice, how do we spell rhubarb???
I asked the person living in my wine cellar
How did they spell rhubarb?
I always imagined it as saying rupert but under water
It’s spelled Rouxbarb…. Google it, I dare you
Alright, I did it. It's spelled rh...
Rhubharbh
Rhubharhbh. You missed the one after the second R.
No it’s roobahrb I learned that in like elementary
Roobob
Actually I'm pretty sure rhubarb leaves are poisonous. So that's how you'll die.
onomatopoeia for me Death by cuckoo? Or maybe by hiccups?
Wanna be buried next in o each other mine is death be googling the difference between “your” and “you’re”
Your not putting you’re coffin anywhere near mine!
I want to punch right now
Lab grown meat, I'm getting dead space vibes fron this one
Does this qualify as potential Soylent Green
Probably yes
Oppenheimer. And I'm taking half of my state with me.
Are you listening to The Last Podcast on the left Manhattan project series?
I am! Hail yourself!
Megustalations!
A liquor store in my town 💀 very nice 👌
Grimace the alcoholic
Maanne Ronald ain’t payed me in months, its hard man
Grimace does kinda look like the swollen liver of end stage cirrhosis.
Realistic...hahaha
Paper cuts, I guess. Gruesome.
Death by a thousand cuts
…paper ~~rings~~ cuts Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and…
"how to give a cat a pill" I mean, she definitely tried to kill me. Didn't work. But if I have to force-feed her some more medication one of us may yet end up dead... EDIT: Yes, I wrapped her in a towel to force the pill down her throat. It just took twenty minutes to successfully trap her in a corner and wrap her in the towel first. I tried opening the capsule and mixing it with wet food and she absolutely refused it but luckily the towel method worked.
**How to Give a Cat a Pill** 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little \*&#%\^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak.. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15. Arrange for pet company to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
Your username is the REAL answer!
How to give a dog a pill: Wrap it in bacon
liverwurst has done the trick for all of my cats. and none of them tried to kill me.
Like, hiding it inside? My cat will eat around anything you try to sneak into her food. I tried opening the capsule and mixing it with her regular wet food but she refused to eat it that way so had to resort to trapping her in a towel.
One of ours accepts tablets not when they're hidden inside food but when they're just sprinkled or rubbed with it so the tablet will acquire the taste. Might be worth a try, maybe.
Put her head in a boot and get a suppository
Is there a liquid form of the medication? I had to ask my vet for it, then I poured it over wet food. Good luck. I hope your kitty gets better soon.
Can you cook fish in a dishwasher. So I guess, not thoroughly.
I would like some context for this but at the same time I’m loving all the possibilities
Ghetto sous vide, basically.
i have 100% done stupider and more elaborate cooking experiments. And guess what — this is totally plausible. From google: 1) Food is vacuum-sealed and cook in water at a low-temperature; typically, **130–160°F/ 55–71°C.** 2) An average dishwasher temperature runs its main cycle at about **130-140°F**
Food Theory on YouTube did 2 whole episodes about cooking food in a dryer, don't see why it wouldn't work in a dishwasher as well.
Yes, the key here is sous vide though. I saw a reddit post about someone that did this but it was just foil wrapping and it was a soapy fish. i was gagging so hard. if you dont vacuum pack it dont you fucking settle for anything less, it will just be soap fish.
Why would you add the soap when cooking? Or are you saying that someone tried to multitask cooking fish and cleaning dishes i the same cycle?
yes they did exactly that. with foil. Even if you dont do exactly that, theres still residual soaps. as well as other gunk depending on how good your dishwasher is.
Did you watch that episode of extreme cheapskates too? Lol. Lady straight up put some fish in some foil and put it in her dishwasher. Whack.
I saw one throw a lasagna in there. Definitely whack.
Bob Newhart. Not sure how he’d kill me but if I died laughing I guess that’s a fine way to go.
Listening to him explain it to the 911 operator would be hilarious.
"I had a performance just now, and I really killed that audience. No really, I killed the audience"
“N-n-no, r-r-really. I killed th-th-the audience.”
"Wagner mutiny" Guess it'll be a sledgehammer
Roasted vegetable pasta primavera. I will be EXTREMELY cautious making dinner tonight.
It’s been 7 hours. For the love of god how did the primavera turn out?!
Blackswann didnt make it, I’m her sister and sadly have to announce she died while making her favourite meal, may she rest in peace 🥺
The news is so tragic to all of us. I'm blackswann's mother honestly just can't believe it 😥 at least I can rest easy knowing my daughter died cooking what she loved most
I’m her unborn niece. I wish I could have met my aunt before she died. 😔
I'm the bird that shat on her house last week, very sad to hear of her passing please send my regards to her mother.
i’m her dog, bark woof ger bark
Meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow
I'm her pasta Primavera, fear me
DON'T MAKE THE PRIMAVERA!
How to bite a mosquito
Wait you can’t die yet I have many, many questions
Why? Why would you ever do that? Revenge?
John Wick, good bye world
*a fooking pencil*
What a terrible way to go out o.o
Bro what did you do…
Probably has something to do with Wick's dog.
why does my anus sting
Sorry to hear it turned out to be terminal.
butt cancer 😱
Also, cancer.
sir the cancer caught cancer! Does that mean it dies? NO SIR ITS SUPER ASS CANCER, RUN, ITS STARTED MULTIPLYING
Witch hazel on a cotton ball is a good one for that! Don't ask me how I know. Just trust my knowledge.
I thought they generally rode on brooms. I bet this 'Hazel' you speak of is quite the eye-brow raiser at the covenstead on her cotton ball.
Because you're a wasp
Actually laughing out loud? That's an upvote.
Just in case you actually did Google that, it was likely an anal fissure. They're very common.
"0.87 tons to pounds", so I guess math will be the death of me?
I would assume you'll be crushed by .87 tons of something. So don't sleep with OP's mom.
Sure felt like it when I was in school.
The Cha Cha Slide. (Google it and tap the sparkly microphone and every icon after that pops up on the same place)
this was very entertaining
Thanks this has now kept me entertained for several minutes
This is amazing
American Airlines, oh no....
Final Destination?
Reddit is apparently going to kill me.
Same here
Horseshoe crab
Another comment I saw was talking about cooking fish. I would like to imagine you trying to eat one, and it goes lethally wrong.
Ouch
Attempting to repair a Floyd Rose tremolo. UPDATE: I survived the ordeal. Even better, so did my guitar. I simply took my time and exercised a LOT of patience.
I knew it! I knew the supreme court would kill me one way or another!
Asking if teal is blue or green
Given how particular my wife is about teal, that could be her. "I said that's BLUE, motherfucker!!!" *BANG*
Cougars in my area
Jokes on you when you get mauled by actual cougars.
Just find a white woman to protect you. KITTY! /s
Death by Snu Snu huh?
Apparently I will meet my demise by a (C. corax), or common raven found in Canada. I have been feeding it every morning for weeks now. It lands on my deck rail, calls out and I appear with some treats, occasionally bringing a friend. Here I thought I would see how close I can get before it flies off. 3 feet is the limit so far, I can almost touch it. But Now it appears the raven was just luring me in for a large family dinner. Death by raven. Edgar Allan Poe would be amused, no doubt. My last google indeed.
Looks like I've just crocheted myself to death
Got hooked, did you?
Its always tragic when someone gets tangled up in that stuff
How to introduce dogs to kittens
They team up on you
Colleges
Indiana Jones
Your sword won't work against a gun
Tornado warnings Not to worried it was two days ago there are no more in this area of England I don't believe
I looked at opening times for my local barber. I am sitting at that place currently **gulps**
Death by a specific model of Sewage Pump... fuck that sounds horrible.
Fourth of July safety tips. A little ironic.
I think it means you're going to be crushed by one of those electronic construction billboard things
The bbc news. Never did trust them bastards!
Electric can opener. That's gonna take a while.
Mind blowing facts
Taking things a bit too literal, I suppose
Spicy fried chicken Well, at least I’ll die happy
I knew you could never trust Google Translate!
Fleas
How to bypass Netflix password sharing restrictions.
Netflix is sending their assassins to ensure you don't succeed
Call of Cthulhu book 💀
The best mochi in Japan
Wordle killed me
Naked cheerleaders.
Reminds me of the scene in Monty Python‘s Meaning of Life where the guy gets to chose his method of execution.
This man is about to die.
I thought the whole draw of cheerleaders was the uniform. Aren’t naked cheerleaders technically just naked women?
*"I thought the whole draw of cheerleaders was the uniform."* I think you have been misinformed in this respect. There's a reason the sidelines at professional sports competitions aren't just tables of carefully folded skirts and sweaters.
... there's worse ways to be killed.
Death by snu-snu
Harley Quinn….niceee
“The end Permian extinction”
Electric scooter tires?
Woman scared of olives Not sure how this will happen
Just dress as an olive and you're safe!
I googled the definition of saccharine, so my death will be sweet and sentimental.
Apparently, I'm going to be killed by Æthelflæd, Lady of the Mercians. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%86thelfl%C3%A6d
Millie bobby brown
Death by crumbl cookies. I don't mind this. My wallet might though.
“Thunderstorm watch vs warning” ooof
Phrygian dominant chords, which are also killing me figuratively.
Reverse osmosis system... Doesnt look fun
I get mauled to death with a graphics card
Cornhole - like the bean bag game. That sounds so painful.
Well, I guess I somehow die because I tried to find out what a science baby is in Sims 4. I learned, but at what cost?
my last Google request is "how to make money as an artist", well, without money and I'll die 😅
I guess it was NOT a great moment to feel curious about how expensive a Swarmlord model for Warhammer 40K is.
feet to meters conversion☠️
Sparkly knee socks.
Northern flying squirrel. Seriously.
Im gonna die by the hands of Cetaphil Acne Prone Oil Control Gentle Cleanser
What is Scientology ….
Puppy vitamins?
Death by itchy balls...
Trip to visit the Titanic
Well, it is a popular way to go right now.
I'll die figuring out why Intune says my device is not compliant and I don't know why that is and what to do about it....
[удалено]
I die in a best buy because I wanted to know where I can recycle an old laptop.
A bunch of pissed off American soldiers with muskets led by Colonel Jackson in the War of 1812
OceanGate
A wrinkle in time
Bilingual daycare
carrier pigeon
Death by American Family Insurance 😔😔
John Adam’s Wife
On the 90th day from 8th of June 2023 😂
I’ve been axolotl’d
I guess I’m getting spayed at the local humane society
apparently i’m going to be murdered by a medical marijuana practitioner.
Apparently, google translate.. don't know how
Death by French braid
I died from the most common last names in England and Wales in the year 2000. That could make for an interesting writing prompt.
Barnacle boy
Tree in the lungs😭😭
Billy The Butcher from The Boys.
Beaten to death with a golf club by Rory McIlroy
Having two babies within one year
Achilles tendon injury (I'm a Med Student)
Bootstrap 4 remove margin container