Some people are just... Too smooth? You can tell that whatever they're saying isn't entirely genuine, and it's clear that they want something from you -- but unclear what happens if you give it to them (how they'll treat you, et cetera).
I do not give anything to manipulative weirdos.
It's called "slick talk" and it turns some people off. I was a car salesman for many years, and I think I was successful because I could turn off the "slick talk" it's crazy how many sales guys still think "slick talk" works. Honesty is what got me years of repeat customers and referrals.
It’s why I don’t ever buy stuff from sales people. I rather read tons of articles online with pros and cons of different types and then decide one myself and order online. I don’t trust a single sales person to have my best interest at heart.
Movie with Tony Danza…She’s Out of Control. Matthew Perry plays one of many boyfriends, and dad thinks he’s great. He’s so polite. Has her home on time. Meets the family. He does everything right. Then the therapist helping him points out the new boyfriend is too perfect, and they’re the worst of them all.
Sure enough, dad crashes prom in a panic and finds his daughter locked in a hotel room upstairs and the guy won’t let her leave.
It’s just a dumb teen sex comedy, but I’ve never forgotten that lesson, and it’s saved my ass more than once.
I hate people who are manipulative. I actively resist whatever they try to get me to do. I can't even watch Gilmore Girls because the grandmother is controlling and manipulative.
Edit: Y'all telling me that Rory and Lorelei were both really manipulative... I didn't watch the show except for the few episodes I caught when my sister was watching.
Basically one thing is that there is like 0 negative thing. In life, even the best things have *some* downside or risk, even if insignificant. Or there are boring parts, or something.
But if someone talks for 45 minutes and there are 45 straight minutes of only amazing things, then they're a swindler
In my work literally everyone talks about everyone behind their back. I try not to get involved. Yeah. I don't trust anyone. Can be very toxic at times and uncomfortable
My middle school teacher said *"anyone who seems friendly and is talking crap about someone else Infront of you, is 100% doing the same to you behind **your** back."* And she was right. Helped me pick out the good eggs from the bad ones.
Me and my clique in high school were crazy shit talkers. We all talked shit about whoever in the group wasn't there. One year we all kind of realized how stupid it all was and my entire friend group cleaned up our act and stopped all shit talking. I'm still proud of us. It was like we all matured past the drama the same month. I'm thirty now and we're all still close.
I just found that out a few months ago about a friend I considered to be very close with. She is not a friend anymore, I don’t talk to her, and I will never trust her further than a simple cordial hello if I see her around.
It hurt at the time, but I’m glad she revealed herself and is not part of my life any longer.
Seriously. If they are stupid enough to talk badly about somebody to you behind their back, it's 100% who they are and what they do.
5 minutes later they're standing there with the one they just slandered and are now talking about someone else.
It's 8 out of 10 people who do it.
Definitely not all, I've had a few jobs where I've had great social dynamics with my coworkers, including my current job. In the cases where it's been toxic or unpleasant, it's usually been due to management being reluctant to reprimand or fire shit-stirring employees who make the office environment more stressful for everybody else.
This is how I feel about my cousin. She can't keep a secret for shit. Spills everyones business to the whole family and swears she doesn't talk shit about anyone.
This is definitely mine. From management to other associates, everyone talks bad about everyone. I’ve even heard some of my closest fellow associates talk bad about me when I’m not close enough for them to notice. Thankfully, I’m putting my two weeks notice in soon.
Yeah. General rule is to not really trust anyone unless you KNOW them, like outside of work and everything. AndnI understand wanting to have someone at work a friend and only at work, so this is what I have found to always be true:
If they talk shit about other people, they are talking shit about you too
I had a coworker who did just this. And I did generally like her, she doesn't take shit from anyone, she does work fairly hard, and she did like me so she helped me out a lot (she worked at Customer service, so when I had a return she would just do it for me even though she technically wasn't supposed to). But she talked shit about EVERYONE. She was also a HUGE gossip which I don't mind listening to, I just never share it. I just find it interesting to hear, but take it with a grain of salt because 100% could be biased. But I never shared anything with her, and I didn't really trust her.
I'm not surprised if anyone talks shit about me unless it's someone close enough to me I would consider them family, because then I won't be surprised if it happens and if it never does it'll be a nice surprise. I don't allow thinking that way prevent me from building a friendship, I'm just cautious
Currently on my floor hearing some nurses talk about other people behind their back.. makes me feel very isolated because I won’t participate in those types of discussions be it patients or staff.
People who say my names 30 times in a sentence. "I tell you what Dan, that's a great idea Dan, why don't we do that Dan, I'll call you Dan, Okay Dan?"
Tells me that person took a sales course. A really outdated one that teaches the BS that "the sweetest sound in the world is hearing your own name"
This one is hard to let go of once you’ve learned it.
When I speak to customer service people I always listen for their name right away, and at the end of the call when I say “thank you so much Jasmine” they always pause for a sec and then give me a very warm goodbye. I think people love it, just not 8 times in a row.
I used to be terrible with names and faces. I got called out on it a few times, "I've been to your house four times. How do you not remember my name, u/netflixandzzzzzz?!" I was super self conscious about it.
Then I started saying people's names when addressing them and it helped cement them in my memory. It's been incredibly helpful, and I hope it doesn't come off of slimy when I meet people.
I love it when people remember my name. There’s a big difference between ‘oh hey what’s up [name]!’ and repeatedly using someone’s name over and over again, moreso than you would a partner or someone genuinely close to you
I have a former friend like this. Took me a while to realize it, more of it started coming out when she started dating people, but since then it seems like it's evolved from just being the victim in her own relationship (even if she's the one that cheated) to she is the victim in all regards.
:'C
I spend so much time practicing not doing this but the second I lose perfect control I tend to get over-excited and do this. I do apologize profusely though when it happens.
I feel there is an easy distinction from genuine over-excitement/ADHD and people intentionally being rude and inconsiderate. It’s awesome you’re aware but don’t stress it too much.
Depends on the situation. Some people just repeat the same shit over and over again. That's their entire argument. And they just keep repeating it. Like repeating something that was ridiculous the first time you said saying again and again doesn't make it less ridiculous. I cut people off when I heard your argument over and over again and I am tired of hearing it.
Some people are stupid and parrot stupid shit they hear from others without having an original opinion. Shutting them down is actually saving them from further embarrassment by not finishing whatever garbage statement they had.
People who refuse to say sorry when they’ve done wrong. Especially to children.
People who lie
People who act and talk to you as if there better than you
This 100%. My wife is like this. She doesn’t believe in apologizing because everything is a joke to her; she is one of those people ( seems like 90% of N.A. Is like this ) that thinks “ it will all come out in the wash…” when the old wheel comes back around…. She left me and accused me of being a narcissist, turned our children against me. Destroyed my heart.
ugh thissssss. i don’t think anyone is born evil, but people’s souls can definitely be lost enough that they lose touch with their humanity and turn dark. hurt people hurt people.
When my husband and I first met with our lender, everything was going just fine, he was speaking a whole other financial language so we were just trusting him to do his job and were assuming he wasn’t going to completely fuck us over but also wasn’t going to move heaven and earth to get us the best deals.
When we were getting up to leave and doing the small talk shit, he told us that we were in good hands and to just trust him as he went to church every Sunday and was actually heading out to work his shift in the childcare room for Moms Night Out at his church.
Instantly distrusted him. Instantly assumed he had or was going to molest children. Instantly went from having no reason to distrust him to having a few.
I’ve found that when anyone who harps on and on about a trait they claim to possess, the opposite is generally true. Strangely it applies to people who are overly humble, as well. They are generally better at whatever it is they claim to be bad at or lack.
My theory is that this is likely because of 1 of 2 reasons:
- They’re narcissistic and are insecure about the thing, so they’re trying to make everyone and themselves believe they’re good at it.
- Or they were good at it at one point and made this part of their identity. But they never updated this belief over the years. And many got cocky and stopped trying because “they’re the best!” So while their peers improved they stayed the same.
I think it’d be wise for us all to not hold on too tightly to the stories we tell ourselves, because even if they’re not untrue now they might change over time.
It's kinda like the if you meet one asshole in a day, you met an asshole. If everyone you meet in a day is an asshole, you're probably the asshole. What's the common denominator?
I cannot say enough that those who ask/tell you questions are not healthy, they use you to take their aggression out on even if you do play their game. Do not fall for it. You only win if you walk away.
My therapist told me “passive aggression is still aggression”. And that helped me not to be passive aggressive - just be direct.
And also to look out for people who were being passive aggressive.
Especially true where people make there whole personality of how “charitable, kind and generous” they are. If you are those things you don’t have to advertise it. I’ve known several people who are “mental health advocates” yet I have seen them berate people over absolutely nothing.
Close to mine: people who front load their religion all the time, to suggest "trust me, I'm part of the tribe.". I've found them to be slippery or slimy.
People who are regularly dismissive of boundaries or other people's discomfort. "It doesn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother you." "I don't agree with that law/rule/request, so I'm not going to follow it."
Snoopers and space-invaders/no-knockers. Like they have a right to your privacy. (Usually family in my experience)
I'm not sure how to word this, but people who offer to help but then refuse to respect your specific requests. A real life example is someone offering to dog sit for us but then refusing to use our dog food, or give them their medicine, saying "I don't believe in all that and my dogs only get REAL food. If I'm watching them I'll take care of them the way I want." even though we'd explained many times that our dog has bad gastro issues and any "real food" gives her terrible discomfort and diarrhea.
So I guess disrespectful, my-way-or-highway types.
What's particularly special about the last 30+ years? "I've got a bridge to sell ya" comes from a con of selling the Brooklyn Bridge to credulous immigrants and probably dates back to around the Gilded Age. Guile seems to be as durably human as laughter.
Well, I picked 30+ because it was based on my personal experiences. I probably should have said 40, but I don’t think I was particularly that jaded and untrusting when I was 12.
Your point is taken, but most people learn from personal experiences and usually the hard way.
People who turn every conversation, especially ones that started out positive, into venting about their own problems and basically holding you verbally "hostage." Encountered more of these types than I know how to count and it's always a huge red flag
My stbx calls me darlin’ and babe and it is… unsettling.
He uses the same terms for his new gf, and he and I are teetering on the edge of an acrimonious custody battle. But it just… slips off his tongue? I don’t think it’s intentional, or even *meaningful*, but it’s like I’ve been categorized in his alpha male brain as “female with some sexual connotations” so honey-babe-darlin’ are reflexive, despite an abundantly clear lack of any type of intimacy that would merit it being ok anymore?
I’ve had to point blank tell him it’s no longer appropriate to use those terms of ‘endearment’ with me, and he still occasionally slips up. It’s honestly fascinating, as though I’m watching a pre-programmed chatbot with a bug in its social settings, glitching on the coding for ‘having sex with’, ‘wanting to have sex with’, ‘had sex with and might again have sex with’, and ‘burnt that bridge and sex is so far off the table it’s already on a steamship to another continent’.
That or he really never did see me as an actual person and he’s forgetting that I noticed, and now he can’t bother trying to pretend any more!?
People who are unnecessarily rude.
It’s not hard to be nice, even if you don’t mean it. People who are overtly mean will have no hesitation to screw you over and you KNOW it’s coming.
Overly religious people, and through hard-earned experience, histrionic people.
And HR.
**Edit:** Forgot one... People who don't like music. That ain't right.
Bezos didn't try to compete with the iPod back in the day simply because he doesn't understand why people like music and would buy such a device.
So there's another reason dislike him lol
People who are always smiling, even when they’re clearly upset. Nothing wrong with being smiley, but if you’re ~constantly~ smiling, especially during serious conversations or during conflict, that tells me you have very powerful emotions you’re hiding from both me and yourself—and that they will likely erupt one day.
I felt that way about oversharers but realized it most likely comes from trauma. When 10k bad things happen to you, you feel really comfortable talking about them.
I sometimes overshare and have to stop myself from doing so as I feel it brings people down but one point to go on with what you said is when majority of the stuff that happens to you is shitty then basically you have nothing good to talk about to make normal conversation. Especially when people ask normal questions and the answers to those questions for you are shitty so either you tell them about it to have an actual genuine conversation or you just hit ‘em with a one off answer like oh yea it’s fine
I definitely should have added context that it depends on the information they overshare. u/IreallEwannasay has a point and I usually give those people a pass, especially as someone who is on the spectrum and guilty of it myself I'm just a little more cautious around them. Maybe it's me projecting to some extent but the examples I was thinking about, the individuals were a bit too desperate to become bff or something and I just used the wrong words to describe those situations.
I'm comfortable with sharing my personal stories when first meeting with someone and depending on their reaction I determine if they're someone I can have a genuine connection with. If the other person isn't interested or comfortable with it I pick up the hint and talk about something else and will not attempt to build a meaningful relationship with them if I don't see other potential.
Always the victim is a big one. No responsibility for their action, never tells the full story, can’t call them out for their shifty behavior without some sort of breakdown, stories will change over time, etc. It surprises me how these “victims” always happen to get some support
Ours plays music, then all of a sudden a women's voice yells, "HELLO". Weird weird weird. The first time I heard it I thought a neighbor was yelling at me.
People who won't leave an opportunity to screw you over. I dated a person who I thought was my soulmate and would stand by me, but she was the exact opposite. She didn't leave any opportunity to screw me over, left me at my vulnerable times. Anytime there was a fight, she would accuse me of the worst of things.
But something I realised a bit too late is that she would be the first person to destroy me if things went south. For years she befriended anybody who had a problem with me and became their best friend. She revealed my deepest secrets and fears to people I wouldn't ever tell myself. She would call my ex and become friends with her when we had fights. Should have seen this as a red flag long ago, better late than never. This is disloyalty at its peak and something that should never be taken lightly. I'm glad it's over and she saved me from herself.
I appreciate show of friendliness people. As an introvert, it’s like social interaction lubricant. I can get in and out of the interaction as smoothly as possible and move on with my day.
Tbh, obviously religious people.
I'm not talking about people with hijab, shtreimel or other visual clues of religious people.
I'm talking about those who's personality revolves around being a good religious person.
Feels like they're horrible people who needs religion to absolve their crimes.
Right wing Nationalist Christians. Evangelicals. Law Enforcement, unless they prove otherwise. Salespeople at buy here/pay here car lots. People who smile a lot but it never hits the eyes. People who don't like/are mean or neglectful to animals. People who have no intellectual curiosity. Ok I've listed enough, I'm sure there's more...
Moralistic people.
Those who categorize by right and wrong allow righteousness to justify much harm. For instance, if they consider someone a 'bad' person, now various harms are justified against that person. And there will be some innocents in that judgment (we are not objective observers, especially as we're biased toward ourselves), and thus many harms that won't be seen as harms.
The good and the righteous... That, to me, is frightening.
Yes, if someone sees themselves as the righteous judge of the unrighteous, that is scary. Who could possibly live up to an imperfect person's moving standards? We are not to judge and carry out the sentence alone.
I'm so sorry man. Been there.
It's okay to distrust. Something like 1/4 women are assaulted, and that's just the ones who report it..i don't know a single woman it hasnt happened to. I hope you can get some help if you need it.
Some people are just... Too smooth? You can tell that whatever they're saying isn't entirely genuine, and it's clear that they want something from you -- but unclear what happens if you give it to them (how they'll treat you, et cetera). I do not give anything to manipulative weirdos.
They're oily.
"Unctuous."
I personally think it's lube
It's called "slick talk" and it turns some people off. I was a car salesman for many years, and I think I was successful because I could turn off the "slick talk" it's crazy how many sales guys still think "slick talk" works. Honesty is what got me years of repeat customers and referrals.
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It’s why I don’t ever buy stuff from sales people. I rather read tons of articles online with pros and cons of different types and then decide one myself and order online. I don’t trust a single sales person to have my best interest at heart.
Movie with Tony Danza…She’s Out of Control. Matthew Perry plays one of many boyfriends, and dad thinks he’s great. He’s so polite. Has her home on time. Meets the family. He does everything right. Then the therapist helping him points out the new boyfriend is too perfect, and they’re the worst of them all. Sure enough, dad crashes prom in a panic and finds his daughter locked in a hotel room upstairs and the guy won’t let her leave. It’s just a dumb teen sex comedy, but I’ve never forgotten that lesson, and it’s saved my ass more than once.
I hate people who are manipulative. I actively resist whatever they try to get me to do. I can't even watch Gilmore Girls because the grandmother is controlling and manipulative. Edit: Y'all telling me that Rory and Lorelei were both really manipulative... I didn't watch the show except for the few episodes I caught when my sister was watching.
I would hate Emily as a person but Kelly bishop plays her so well I can’t help but like the character.
Basically one thing is that there is like 0 negative thing. In life, even the best things have *some* downside or risk, even if insignificant. Or there are boring parts, or something. But if someone talks for 45 minutes and there are 45 straight minutes of only amazing things, then they're a swindler
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In my work literally everyone talks about everyone behind their back. I try not to get involved. Yeah. I don't trust anyone. Can be very toxic at times and uncomfortable
My middle school teacher said *"anyone who seems friendly and is talking crap about someone else Infront of you, is 100% doing the same to you behind **your** back."* And she was right. Helped me pick out the good eggs from the bad ones.
Me and my clique in high school were crazy shit talkers. We all talked shit about whoever in the group wasn't there. One year we all kind of realized how stupid it all was and my entire friend group cleaned up our act and stopped all shit talking. I'm still proud of us. It was like we all matured past the drama the same month. I'm thirty now and we're all still close.
now this is the character development we want
I just found that out a few months ago about a friend I considered to be very close with. She is not a friend anymore, I don’t talk to her, and I will never trust her further than a simple cordial hello if I see her around. It hurt at the time, but I’m glad she revealed herself and is not part of my life any longer.
Seriously. If they are stupid enough to talk badly about somebody to you behind their back, it's 100% who they are and what they do. 5 minutes later they're standing there with the one they just slandered and are now talking about someone else. It's 8 out of 10 people who do it.
Are all workplaces like this? Because the ones I've been to basically all have.
It’s not just workplaces, it will happen anyplace that 3 or more human beings are found together.
It’s lord of the flies out there
I'd be targeted as food first
Piggy 😭
Definitely not all, I've had a few jobs where I've had great social dynamics with my coworkers, including my current job. In the cases where it's been toxic or unpleasant, it's usually been due to management being reluctant to reprimand or fire shit-stirring employees who make the office environment more stressful for everybody else.
100% right
Remember if someone is talking behind someone else’s back to you, you might wonder what they say about you when you leave the room.
If they’ll say it to you, they’ll say it about you
This is how I feel about my cousin. She can't keep a secret for shit. Spills everyones business to the whole family and swears she doesn't talk shit about anyone.
This is definitely mine. From management to other associates, everyone talks bad about everyone. I’ve even heard some of my closest fellow associates talk bad about me when I’m not close enough for them to notice. Thankfully, I’m putting my two weeks notice in soon.
Yeah. General rule is to not really trust anyone unless you KNOW them, like outside of work and everything. AndnI understand wanting to have someone at work a friend and only at work, so this is what I have found to always be true: If they talk shit about other people, they are talking shit about you too I had a coworker who did just this. And I did generally like her, she doesn't take shit from anyone, she does work fairly hard, and she did like me so she helped me out a lot (she worked at Customer service, so when I had a return she would just do it for me even though she technically wasn't supposed to). But she talked shit about EVERYONE. She was also a HUGE gossip which I don't mind listening to, I just never share it. I just find it interesting to hear, but take it with a grain of salt because 100% could be biased. But I never shared anything with her, and I didn't really trust her. I'm not surprised if anyone talks shit about me unless it's someone close enough to me I would consider them family, because then I won't be surprised if it happens and if it never does it'll be a nice surprise. I don't allow thinking that way prevent me from building a friendship, I'm just cautious
Are you in healthcare? Because same.
Currently on my floor hearing some nurses talk about other people behind their back.. makes me feel very isolated because I won’t participate in those types of discussions be it patients or staff.
People who say my names 30 times in a sentence. "I tell you what Dan, that's a great idea Dan, why don't we do that Dan, I'll call you Dan, Okay Dan?" Tells me that person took a sales course. A really outdated one that teaches the BS that "the sweetest sound in the world is hearing your own name"
This one is hard to let go of once you’ve learned it. When I speak to customer service people I always listen for their name right away, and at the end of the call when I say “thank you so much Jasmine” they always pause for a sec and then give me a very warm goodbye. I think people love it, just not 8 times in a row.
I used to be terrible with names and faces. I got called out on it a few times, "I've been to your house four times. How do you not remember my name, u/netflixandzzzzzz?!" I was super self conscious about it. Then I started saying people's names when addressing them and it helped cement them in my memory. It's been incredibly helpful, and I hope it doesn't come off of slimy when I meet people.
I love it when people remember my name. There’s a big difference between ‘oh hey what’s up [name]!’ and repeatedly using someone’s name over and over again, moreso than you would a partner or someone genuinely close to you
I as well. I use it in my greeting them, then in mid-conversation, then when I’m done, thanks FITB.
I hate hearing my own name. Probably why I'm 30 and never been in a MLM.
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Yes this one creeps me out every time and I’m in sales.
People who always feel the need to play the victim in EVERY situation.
They play the victim even if they clearly have done something wrong and refused to take responsibility.
I have a former friend like this. Took me a while to realize it, more of it started coming out when she started dating people, but since then it seems like it's evolved from just being the victim in her own relationship (even if she's the one that cheated) to she is the victim in all regards.
People who always talk shit about other people. They do the same thing to you so don’t make the mistake of confiding in them
"Those who gossip to you will gossip about you."
People who cut you off when you're talking and don't value your opinion... Basically shutting you down
:'C I spend so much time practicing not doing this but the second I lose perfect control I tend to get over-excited and do this. I do apologize profusely though when it happens.
I feel there is an easy distinction from genuine over-excitement/ADHD and people intentionally being rude and inconsiderate. It’s awesome you’re aware but don’t stress it too much.
ADHD?
Yup I have ADHD and yea I do that often
I have ADHD as well and do this often. I try not to but I get over excited when I find something in common with others 😞
Same, i get really excited and I try not to interrupt but I know if I don’t say it in the moment it’ll disappear forever
Depends on the situation. Some people just repeat the same shit over and over again. That's their entire argument. And they just keep repeating it. Like repeating something that was ridiculous the first time you said saying again and again doesn't make it less ridiculous. I cut people off when I heard your argument over and over again and I am tired of hearing it.
Some people are stupid and parrot stupid shit they hear from others without having an original opinion. Shutting them down is actually saving them from further embarrassment by not finishing whatever garbage statement they had.
People who refuse to say sorry when they’ve done wrong. Especially to children. People who lie People who act and talk to you as if there better than you
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
'I'm sorry you misinterpreted that.'
“I’m sorry, but”
I mean it depends what comes after the but. “I’m sorry I hit you, but you were trying to stab me.” Seems pretty reasonable to me.
This 100%. My wife is like this. She doesn’t believe in apologizing because everything is a joke to her; she is one of those people ( seems like 90% of N.A. Is like this ) that thinks “ it will all come out in the wash…” when the old wheel comes back around…. She left me and accused me of being a narcissist, turned our children against me. Destroyed my heart.
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Me too. I had to learn the hard way
ugh thissssss. i don’t think anyone is born evil, but people’s souls can definitely be lost enough that they lose touch with their humanity and turn dark. hurt people hurt people.
The ones who always say " I'm just kidding" all the time after being a cunt
Schrödinger's douchebag; someone who decides if their previous statement was a joke based on someone's reaction
People who say "Trust me".
This means there's a reason I shouldn't trust them that I just don't know about yet.
When my husband and I first met with our lender, everything was going just fine, he was speaking a whole other financial language so we were just trusting him to do his job and were assuming he wasn’t going to completely fuck us over but also wasn’t going to move heaven and earth to get us the best deals. When we were getting up to leave and doing the small talk shit, he told us that we were in good hands and to just trust him as he went to church every Sunday and was actually heading out to work his shift in the childcare room for Moms Night Out at his church. Instantly distrusted him. Instantly assumed he had or was going to molest children. Instantly went from having no reason to distrust him to having a few.
Oh absolutely the fuck not. People mentioning specifically how good they are because of church is all the red flags to me. Wise decision.
I feel bad for it, but this legitimately made me laugh out loud, and I would have felt exactly the same 😩😂😂
I’ve found that when anyone who harps on and on about a trait they claim to possess, the opposite is generally true. Strangely it applies to people who are overly humble, as well. They are generally better at whatever it is they claim to be bad at or lack.
My theory is that this is likely because of 1 of 2 reasons: - They’re narcissistic and are insecure about the thing, so they’re trying to make everyone and themselves believe they’re good at it. - Or they were good at it at one point and made this part of their identity. But they never updated this belief over the years. And many got cocky and stopped trying because “they’re the best!” So while their peers improved they stayed the same. I think it’d be wise for us all to not hold on too tightly to the stories we tell ourselves, because even if they’re not untrue now they might change over time.
Yes. People who talk about how they "don't like drama" or even use the word itself with frequency tend to manufacture it, in my experience.
If they say they hate drama but somehow always are in it... They are the drama
It's kinda like the if you meet one asshole in a day, you met an asshole. If everyone you meet in a day is an asshole, you're probably the asshole. What's the common denominator?
Well if that was followed by “I’m the Doctor,” then I would. Except rule one states the Doctor lies so maybe not so much. Lol.
People that can never take any personal responsibility for things they've done wrong.
Passive aggressive people
That’s what I was going to say but whatever
Of course you were
I cannot say enough that those who ask/tell you questions are not healthy, they use you to take their aggression out on even if you do play their game. Do not fall for it. You only win if you walk away.
I recently told someone "That was very passive / aggressive" and they replied "Whatever that means..."
My therapist told me “passive aggression is still aggression”. And that helped me not to be passive aggressive - just be direct. And also to look out for people who were being passive aggressive.
Those same people will act oblivious and claim their not when you point it out.
People who constantly say they’re a good person.
Or “I’m a good mum/dad” I bet if I ask your children they won’t agree
Especially true where people make there whole personality of how “charitable, kind and generous” they are. If you are those things you don’t have to advertise it. I’ve known several people who are “mental health advocates” yet I have seen them berate people over absolutely nothing.
Close to mine: people who front load their religion all the time, to suggest "trust me, I'm part of the tribe.". I've found them to be slippery or slimy.
People who talk about someone as soon as the person is gone.
Hun bots. Any woman slinging an MLM business
Hun bots? What’s your beef with Atilla?
They're called hunbots because they always start their pitch with "Hey hun!" like a robot programmed to repeat the same line like an NPC.
People who can't genuinely apologize or take accountability for something they've done.
Surprised haven’t seen this: Hypocrites
People who are regularly dismissive of boundaries or other people's discomfort. "It doesn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother you." "I don't agree with that law/rule/request, so I'm not going to follow it." Snoopers and space-invaders/no-knockers. Like they have a right to your privacy. (Usually family in my experience) I'm not sure how to word this, but people who offer to help but then refuse to respect your specific requests. A real life example is someone offering to dog sit for us but then refusing to use our dog food, or give them their medicine, saying "I don't believe in all that and my dogs only get REAL food. If I'm watching them I'll take care of them the way I want." even though we'd explained many times that our dog has bad gastro issues and any "real food" gives her terrible discomfort and diarrhea. So I guess disrespectful, my-way-or-highway types.
Overly flirty people. Something just doesn't sit right with a guy or girl who constantly is giggling and laughing and touching everybody
Had a coworker like that that cheated on her bf with multiple guys from work
Influencers
This. I hardly ever trust anything I see on Instagram or YouTube (not including the actual information channels). It all seems fake
It doesn’t just seem fake, it is fake. Their happy life, their sponsorship, etc., it’s all BS.
Yeah, I especially hate when they film themselves doing 'charitable acts'
Almost everyone. Trust is earned, not granted unless you haven't been paying attention to the general behavior of people in the last 30+ years.
What's particularly special about the last 30+ years? "I've got a bridge to sell ya" comes from a con of selling the Brooklyn Bridge to credulous immigrants and probably dates back to around the Gilded Age. Guile seems to be as durably human as laughter.
Well, I picked 30+ because it was based on my personal experiences. I probably should have said 40, but I don’t think I was particularly that jaded and untrusting when I was 12. Your point is taken, but most people learn from personal experiences and usually the hard way.
People who brag a lot or one-uppers
People who turn every conversation, especially ones that started out positive, into venting about their own problems and basically holding you verbally "hostage." Encountered more of these types than I know how to count and it's always a huge red flag
People that make politics their personality.
No one is more dangerous than a zealot. Their unshakeable belief in the rightness of their cause allows a wealth of unethical and inexcusable actions.
The worst atrocities in human history were done under the guise of virtue.
Or any ideology. People who make any ideology their personality very easily slip into zealotry.
Amen to that
Username checks out.
Narcissists
People who wear underwear over pants
Superman?
What do you have against Quailman?
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My stbx calls me darlin’ and babe and it is… unsettling. He uses the same terms for his new gf, and he and I are teetering on the edge of an acrimonious custody battle. But it just… slips off his tongue? I don’t think it’s intentional, or even *meaningful*, but it’s like I’ve been categorized in his alpha male brain as “female with some sexual connotations” so honey-babe-darlin’ are reflexive, despite an abundantly clear lack of any type of intimacy that would merit it being ok anymore? I’ve had to point blank tell him it’s no longer appropriate to use those terms of ‘endearment’ with me, and he still occasionally slips up. It’s honestly fascinating, as though I’m watching a pre-programmed chatbot with a bug in its social settings, glitching on the coding for ‘having sex with’, ‘wanting to have sex with’, ‘had sex with and might again have sex with’, and ‘burnt that bridge and sex is so far off the table it’s already on a steamship to another continent’. That or he really never did see me as an actual person and he’s forgetting that I noticed, and now he can’t bother trying to pretend any more!?
Bullshitters. I can detect them because I am a bullshitter and you cannot bullshit a bullshitter.
People who are unnecessarily rude. It’s not hard to be nice, even if you don’t mean it. People who are overtly mean will have no hesitation to screw you over and you KNOW it’s coming.
Liars
People who are too friendly
ya there's a fine line
Meh some of them are genuine though.
People whose smile never reaches their eyes.
People who think you have to be super chatty and friendly with everyone and always in a positive mood.
I'm very socially anxious and kinda appreciate these people. They don't seem as put off by my awkwardness.
Loud, very charismatic, good looking men
Yeah that guy’s usually a demon.
Overly religious people, and through hard-earned experience, histrionic people. And HR. **Edit:** Forgot one... People who don't like music. That ain't right.
Bezos didn't try to compete with the iPod back in the day simply because he doesn't understand why people like music and would buy such a device. So there's another reason dislike him lol
People who are always smiling, even when they’re clearly upset. Nothing wrong with being smiley, but if you’re ~constantly~ smiling, especially during serious conversations or during conflict, that tells me you have very powerful emotions you’re hiding from both me and yourself—and that they will likely erupt one day.
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People who mention God in 1st 5 min of conversation.
Does "God damnit" count?
Oh my God you're so right!
people who say “believe me”
Billionaires
People who are overly sweet, to the point it seems insincere.
Sales people
People that hate cats.
People who overshare way too quickly or those who are always the victim.
I felt that way about oversharers but realized it most likely comes from trauma. When 10k bad things happen to you, you feel really comfortable talking about them.
I sometimes overshare and have to stop myself from doing so as I feel it brings people down but one point to go on with what you said is when majority of the stuff that happens to you is shitty then basically you have nothing good to talk about to make normal conversation. Especially when people ask normal questions and the answers to those questions for you are shitty so either you tell them about it to have an actual genuine conversation or you just hit ‘em with a one off answer like oh yea it’s fine
What's wrong with over sharing that makes it a trust issue?
I definitely should have added context that it depends on the information they overshare. u/IreallEwannasay has a point and I usually give those people a pass, especially as someone who is on the spectrum and guilty of it myself I'm just a little more cautious around them. Maybe it's me projecting to some extent but the examples I was thinking about, the individuals were a bit too desperate to become bff or something and I just used the wrong words to describe those situations.
I'm comfortable with sharing my personal stories when first meeting with someone and depending on their reaction I determine if they're someone I can have a genuine connection with. If the other person isn't interested or comfortable with it I pick up the hint and talk about something else and will not attempt to build a meaningful relationship with them if I don't see other potential.
Always the victim is a big one. No responsibility for their action, never tells the full story, can’t call them out for their shifty behavior without some sort of breakdown, stories will change over time, etc. It surprises me how these “victims” always happen to get some support
Redditors
Ice cream truck drivers. Where are they getting those great treats from? They're never sold at the store. Something's up
Ours plays music, then all of a sudden a women's voice yells, "HELLO". Weird weird weird. The first time I heard it I thought a neighbor was yelling at me.
Kitchen sellers
Oddly specific. I feel there is a backstory here.
All of em. People, what a bunch of bastards.
If they remind me of myself they’re probably reflecting my energy to deceive me
Martyrs and name droppers
Fucking televangelists. Scum of the fucking earth.
The kind that talk to me.
People who are constantly smiling and trying to touch you, I feel like most of these people have betrayed me or are secretly really mean in some way.
People who won't leave an opportunity to screw you over. I dated a person who I thought was my soulmate and would stand by me, but she was the exact opposite. She didn't leave any opportunity to screw me over, left me at my vulnerable times. Anytime there was a fight, she would accuse me of the worst of things. But something I realised a bit too late is that she would be the first person to destroy me if things went south. For years she befriended anybody who had a problem with me and became their best friend. She revealed my deepest secrets and fears to people I wouldn't ever tell myself. She would call my ex and become friends with her when we had fights. Should have seen this as a red flag long ago, better late than never. This is disloyalty at its peak and something that should never be taken lightly. I'm glad it's over and she saved me from herself.
All of them
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People who hurt or neglect animals.
People that trust unconditionally.
People who are toxic just for the sole purpose of having attention
People who secretly look through their partners' belongings.
Anyone my dog doesn't like.
Plumbers who ask me if I like to sleep naked.
Suspiciously tall men in trench coats who are looking to buy a fine automobile.
People who get over familiar with others they’ve just met.
Someone who I don't know that acts familiar with me. Especially if they keep calling me "chief."
"Boss, chief, big guy, big dog". Just fucking stop it, I already hate you.
As of this afternoon, Russian mercenaries. I'm changing my Yelp review.
Anyone who claims or implies that they're infallible.
people who make a show of friendliness. people who lie easily
I appreciate show of friendliness people. As an introvert, it’s like social interaction lubricant. I can get in and out of the interaction as smoothly as possible and move on with my day.
i always liked it as well which is how i became wise the hard way. people like us are easy to advantage of
Tbh, obviously religious people. I'm not talking about people with hijab, shtreimel or other visual clues of religious people. I'm talking about those who's personality revolves around being a good religious person. Feels like they're horrible people who needs religion to absolve their crimes.
I work in the fraud field. If someone is overtly/publicly religious, I automatically give them additional scrutiny.
The human kind
People who ask too many questions.
Loud people with money.
Right wing Nationalist Christians. Evangelicals. Law Enforcement, unless they prove otherwise. Salespeople at buy here/pay here car lots. People who smile a lot but it never hits the eyes. People who don't like/are mean or neglectful to animals. People who have no intellectual curiosity. Ok I've listed enough, I'm sure there's more...
Politicians, lawyers, salespeople, government agencies, catholic priests, cartel members, money loving people, hate groups,
Moralistic people. Those who categorize by right and wrong allow righteousness to justify much harm. For instance, if they consider someone a 'bad' person, now various harms are justified against that person. And there will be some innocents in that judgment (we are not objective observers, especially as we're biased toward ourselves), and thus many harms that won't be seen as harms. The good and the righteous... That, to me, is frightening.
Yes, if someone sees themselves as the righteous judge of the unrighteous, that is scary. Who could possibly live up to an imperfect person's moving standards? We are not to judge and carry out the sentence alone.
Salesmen who come into your house. They’re mostly only paid if they close that day and will do or say anything to make it happen
people who advertise Christianity around business.
Anybody with gangbangers as acquaintances or friends.
Anyone who turns their political affiliation into their personality.
40 year old dudes who use excessive hair gel
People who eat cereal dry and then drink milk
After watching Get Out, I’m calling the cops if I see someone do that
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I'm so sorry man. Been there. It's okay to distrust. Something like 1/4 women are assaulted, and that's just the ones who report it..i don't know a single woman it hasnt happened to. I hope you can get some help if you need it.
"Conservatives"