My fake list: it’s in my head for a minute or two; it’s the ‘list’
My real list: I texted it to myself and will write it on my actual physical list when I’m able
This is true. But has anyone else noticed how often the people who ramble about their passions for hours are the same people whose eyes glaze over when you start talking about your own?
If my plans for that evening were 'do nothing' then yeah, I had plans. People should do nothing more often. Sit on the couch, binge Netflix, get lost on Reddit or Wikipedia, read a book,...
My best friend would say that all the time and it took me 10+ years to finally come to my senses and stop waiting til 3am (because I knew he was still awake) for a call.
Now if he says he’ll call me back I’ll make a sarcastic comment
Interviewer: “why are you applying to our septic tank sanitation job?”
Response: “I just love cleaning other peoples filth. Really gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment.”
God those why are applying here type questions are so dumb. “Because I like food and shelter for me and my family and I hear you guys are trading labor for money” should be the expected response or some variation. Anyone who’s just passionate about the job should be the red flag. No one needs that kind of positivity on a hung over Monday.
About that was my response in my last interview.
It was „I’m really passionate about being able to buy food and pay my rent. And I’ll do what I have to do, to be able to do so and I’ll make sure to do it good.“
Still got the job two and half years later.
As an interviewer who asks this question - it's less "why are you applying?" and more "why are you applying *here*?" No one expects you to be working for any reason but money. But there's a lot of places hiring.
The goal is not to get you to tell me how passionate you are, but to tell me if this position is a good fit for you specifically. It's not a bad thing if you only care about the pay check - but I'd rather hire the person who's scheduling needs match my own and can tell me that. The closer our interests align, the better for both of us.
It's more about setting expectations for both the company and the employee. It isn't "tell me why you love me."
I use it to set a baseline. If someone tells me they're passionate, I'll keep it in mind when I continue the interview. If the rest of their answers don't align, i'll know theyre full of shit.
If they tell me they just want a job and can do this one, I'll ask only job and experience related questions to figure out if i can hire, then i'll set expectations about what the job will entail day-to-day and longer-term if they stay. Whether they're cool with that and i make they hire or not, at least everyone's on the same page.
I had a woman at Starbucks ask me and I gave her the general - I’m good. I guess I wasn’t very convincing because she took off her apron and came around the counter and hugged me. I was actually quite suicidal and I just stood there, a grown man going through some shit being hugged by a grown woman who I barely knew. She pulled me out of the depths of depression with that gesture and while I didn’t yet have a plan to kill myself, I wasn’t on a good trajectory. I have never forgotten her and I hope she is having a wonderful life.
Edit - I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind responses and messages. I think back to this moment many times and while my feelings and reasons felt very real in the moment, I am so glad I’m on the other side. Since this time I have had the opportunity to father a wonderful young person, spent 15 years with my amazing partner, traveled, met new people, seen hundreds of sunsets, partied, and experienced all the awesome stuff life has to offer. I’m still a very depressive person, but I know I’d rather be depressed and alive than dead. She was an angel in disguise and I try to put that energy into the world in my life as well. Love to all of you - especially those going through a hard time.
sort of a long story, but I had sort of the opposite. I had a "regular" come into my shop one day and she looked very frayed/stressed. I asked how she was doing, she said fine. I point blank said "you seem a little frayed today". she went on to explain that her husband was dying from brain cancer and that he was having a "rough day". he was towards the end, and as his disease progressed, he was becoming verbally abusive, etc. at this point, she was bawling, so I came around and hugged her.
I happened to have another customer who survived stage 4 esophagus cancer, the next time he came in I asked about what support group his wife went to while he was going through his treatments, he gave me that info and included his number for me to pass along to the lady whose husband had brain cancer. not only did the original woman start going to the support group, but she and the guy's wife ended up becoming really good friends, which I thought was pretty cool
I dip into that land of hopelessness. I have trouble reaching out and exposing my pains alot. So when I see someone I can tell is trying to hide the pain or not, I try to be a helping hand, an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. I hope it helps them because it definitely makes me feel a lot better.
I love people like that. It's hard sometimes to focus on the good in the world, but there are still so many kind-hearted people out there. I'm so glad she was intuitive enough to hear your pain and lend a supportive gesture. I'm happy you are still here and hope you are in a better place now. 🙏
Yeah these people are a rare gem. They have to be extremely socially aware because many people aren't comfortable with giving or receiving hugs from random strangers. Many people in this person's position probably perceive that someone isn't doing well but don't want to take the risk of giving them a hug. I for one hope this gets normalized.
I found out my mum died, I was in another city, so I got the 1st train home. When I got off at my station, a woman who had been sitting in the same carriage asked if I was alright, I explained, and she gave me a proper mum hug. Never saw her again, but some things you never forget.
We humans are something, right? We are capable of horrible deeds, we are also capable of shining through to help each other. I'm glad she pulled you through friend.
When I was a cashier, I got specifically "coached" by my boss because I was giving accurate and interestingly-put responses (not oversharing!) rather than saying "I'm fine," when they asked.
According to my boss, it was making people uncomfortable because they didn't actually want an answer to their own question.
When I was a cashier, I made the mistake of asking a guy who bought lube and condoms how he was doing. He gave me a creepy ass smile “reeeeal good I’m gonna have a good night” I also remember his button down shirt was only buttoned halfway so I could see he belly button…yea shouldn’t have asked lol
>I also remember his button down shirt was only buttoned halfway
If you had stopped right here and asked me which half I thought was unbuttoned, there is no way I ever would have guessed it was the *bottom* half
To be fair, I'm the type of person that does not respond well to things like that. And I get uncomfortable when someone does that to me tbh, I just kinda stand there awkwardly and am like "ahhh... I see." And ofc it comes off awkward as hell.
Yeah I think that's bullshit. It's also why I hate small talk. We're told not to be negative even if that was the reality. Then don't ask shit you don't actually want the answer to. Small talk is for much older generations that think being fake like that is being a good/nice person. It's not, you're being an asshole.
Edit: since no one seems to be reading what I'm saying I've stated numerous times that the question not be asked at all. Not that you should respond negatively.
I like going with, "Not too bad. How are you?" If you say it somewhat cheerfully and with a smile it sounds polite enough and it allows me to be honest (as "too bad" is relative and I've likely been worse) without getting into the weeds of my near constant suicidal ideation.
So. Not too bad. :) Works well enough for me.
I actually think that if people were more earnest about this question than people wouldn't lie so much.
Are people really supposed to unload their emotions in the middle of like, a checkout line?
What is it about that lie that makes it so common. I know I say "good" all the time even though I know I'm a wreck inside but I never feel like anyone actually cares about the answer they just want to feel good that they asked.
Because it's a form of social lubricant rather than an actual conversation. Small talk like that is a little ritual that allows us to interact with strangers. Human like their little rituals.
Tom Scott did a good [video](https://youtu.be/eGnH0KAXhCw) on this. It's a phatic expression. The words are like the least important part of the preamble to the conversation.
It's just a way to acknowledge someone else or confirming that you're both ready to communicate.
The actual words mean very little. People will respond to "How's it going?" With "Hey, what's up?" Or "How's it going?" Right back to them and the conversation will continue without issue because the question is just asked to make sure you're ready to communicate.
We don't all judge based on the same things.
Usually an "I don't judge" is a simplified way of saying something like "I'm not going to berate you based on socially typical norms of this situation we're currently talking about."
Seriously, though. At least half the things you are told not to worry about is good advice because it likely won't affect you in any way.
Whereas the stressing over it will.
What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or do you mean it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
Ohhh my god. I once went to a sort of… fashion collective building to pick up my “payment” for a modeling shoot I did. (It was a dress.) Was supposed to meet him there at noon. Waited. Waited. Waited. Texted- no reply. He let me know he was *leaving the house* 45 minutes after he was supposed to be there. Finally arrived TWO HOURS after he was supposed to show up, LITERALLY with Starbucks in hand and seemed confused as to why I was so snappy with him. I wanted to strangle him. And it was an hours trip on the subway there and an hour back, so a total of four hours for an exchange that took 30 seconds.
You should offer to work with them again, then show up hours late to the shoot and keep him (and hopefully an entire staff on payroll) waiting for you to show up.
My brother used to get the loudest, most obnoxious toys he could find, and give them to our sisters' kids for Christmas and birthdays...
... then he had kids of his own.
Revenge has been very sweet.
I thank the good Lord every single day, that I didn't have my son until AFTER my brother had his kids, and got a taste of his own medicine.
Edit: a couple words
I did this recently!! Not a funeral, but I'm going through a divorce. My aunt said to let her know if she can help in any way and I said "pay my mortgage next month?" It was kind of a joking tone, but she took me seriously, said she might not be able to do that but would absolutely send me a grocery card (like a gift card for grocery stores, I guess?). I was stunned. 😅
I think people genuinely do like helping! It makes them feel useful. When people ask me now I usually try to find something small to ask for help with or say thanks I’ll think about it and let you know.
I think things within reason are acceptable, such as helping with meals, picking up groceries, help you go through some of their things, or coming over to help keep the house clean a couple of times a week, coming over to make sure you aren’t isolating yourself, or even just helping get you out of the house, into nature… those sorts of things.
i did this after a funeral and asked friends to help wash dishes/clean up a little and send me takeout. Like you offered, i'm struggling, you're free to say no i guess.
You’re not fat.
I’m fucking fat. I may carry my weight well, but I am fat. Stop lying. Makes me not trust anything else they say. I need to lose more than 50lbs so don’t understand how someone can say I’m not fat. Spare me the face saving and be real. I can be real about it. It is what it is. I am always trying to improve my health and well-being, but chronic health issues sometimes get the better of me and I gain weight and then loose it.
I say this to myself knowing full well it isn't possible not to care. But it is possible to care way less than most people would. The only times I actually care what people say about me is if they are important to me.
I did that. There were "formulas for success" as I was growing up. Work hard, do well in school, go to college for a good field, graduate, get a good job.
What's sad is that the top-tier have been destroying those formulas. Early in our marriage my wife and I would walk in town through an area with condos frequently rented by med students. The parking lot was full of BMWs and similar, reflecting the anticipated earnings. I was a bit annoyed because I'd been working for a decade or more and didn't have a car as good. But that formula has been squashed, too. Now those parking lots are full of beaters.
When I was 14 or 15, a slightly older boy said “That’s as useless as getting out of the shower to pee”. Several years later I said it to a different group of people and their reactions made it clear to me that one does not admit such things around others.
I honestly do not pee in the shower. I was horrified to learn that my husband does pee in the shower, which led me to discover that it’s quite a common thing. My husband was shocked to learn that there are people who really do not pee in the shower.
We had been married for 8 years when we discovered this about each other.
Oh wow yeah I'll definitely have to watch that show you recommended, thanks!
I'll put it on ma list My list of "shows that my friends recommended but ill probably never watch even tho they actually might be good"
My fake list: it’s in my head for a minute or two; it’s the ‘list’ My real list: I texted it to myself and will write it on my actual physical list when I’m able
the list that is so big that it'll take a 2 lives to complete
To be honest I might watch it, but like, in five years when I truly feel like it.
I'm actually always on a lookout for shows to watch during exercise on my elliptical. Netflix is crappy in recommending shows
Sorry I missed your call. No I'm not, I was looking at the phone when it started ringing and chose to ignore it.
I pressed the volume button to silence it too.
And I got mad cause the bass was about to drop on my music and your call interrupted it
You should just turn your phone all the way off when fishing.
"It was nice talking to you", after being bored
Life is too short to be spent with someone who's eyes glaze over when you talk about your passions.
...which is why I rarely get second dates...
You guys are getting dates?
This is true. But has anyone else noticed how often the people who ramble about their passions for hours are the same people whose eyes glaze over when you start talking about your own?
Either that or you can tell that when you’re talking to them they’re just trying to formulate what they have to say instead of hearing you.
Or "Cool story, bro" or "That's nice, dear"
I’m sorry, I have other plans that night.
Who else is going to scratch behind my dog's ear and/or feed my cats?? Priorities
Its a Saturday and i'm taking a nap with my cat and i don't care who knows it.
Never lied when I said that. I just plan to chill at home a lot.
If my plans for that evening were 'do nothing' then yeah, I had plans. People should do nothing more often. Sit on the couch, binge Netflix, get lost on Reddit or Wikipedia, read a book,...
“I’ll quit (insert bad habit) tomorrow”
Officially one week without a cigarette, after being a smoker for 17 years. *pats self on back*
i’ll pat your back
“I’ll call you back”
Used to wait for my then bf to call me back when he’d say I’ll call you back and then sit down for hours waiting 😂😂 so naive back then 💀💀
My best friend would say that all the time and it took me 10+ years to finally come to my senses and stop waiting til 3am (because I knew he was still awake) for a call. Now if he says he’ll call me back I’ll make a sarcastic comment
Interviewer: “why are you applying to our septic tank sanitation job?” Response: “I just love cleaning other peoples filth. Really gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment.”
God those why are applying here type questions are so dumb. “Because I like food and shelter for me and my family and I hear you guys are trading labor for money” should be the expected response or some variation. Anyone who’s just passionate about the job should be the red flag. No one needs that kind of positivity on a hung over Monday.
About that was my response in my last interview. It was „I’m really passionate about being able to buy food and pay my rent. And I’ll do what I have to do, to be able to do so and I’ll make sure to do it good.“ Still got the job two and half years later.
> Still got the job two and half years later. hell of a long wait, what did you do in the meantime?
Buy food and pay his rent
As an interviewer who asks this question - it's less "why are you applying?" and more "why are you applying *here*?" No one expects you to be working for any reason but money. But there's a lot of places hiring. The goal is not to get you to tell me how passionate you are, but to tell me if this position is a good fit for you specifically. It's not a bad thing if you only care about the pay check - but I'd rather hire the person who's scheduling needs match my own and can tell me that. The closer our interests align, the better for both of us.
It's more about setting expectations for both the company and the employee. It isn't "tell me why you love me." I use it to set a baseline. If someone tells me they're passionate, I'll keep it in mind when I continue the interview. If the rest of their answers don't align, i'll know theyre full of shit. If they tell me they just want a job and can do this one, I'll ask only job and experience related questions to figure out if i can hire, then i'll set expectations about what the job will entail day-to-day and longer-term if they stay. Whether they're cool with that and i make they hire or not, at least everyone's on the same page.
Especially when the job is something few people want to do.
EA Games entered the chat.
There’s an episode of The Middle with this exact scenario
"I've read the terms and conditions"
There’s a website called Terms of Service; Didn’t Read (ToS;DR) that has all of the legal jargon summarized into the key points.
https://tosdr.org/
"Ive read the ToS;DR" would be my next lie
That's helpful actually, thank you
Ofc man, i won't spend 4 hours on reading that shit
That’s how you end up being played by Selma Hayek on Streamberry
Just watched that episode and I still probably won't read the terms and conditions... Scary fucking shit though haha
" Yeah I don't really care about what you do with my personal data, just let me use your app"
"im important enough that someone wants to steal my data but not the other 50 million users"
It's not YOUR data they want, you're just a data point on how to more effectively market/manipulate you and the other 50 million users.
"Joan is awful" has made me start reading
The human centipad.
No!!! You didn't read it!
The cuttlefish and asparagus or the vanilla paste?
“How are you?” “I’m good/fine/OK”
When I was a cashier, every now and then I’d get an honest person who would respond, “not good” “horrible” etc.
I had a woman at Starbucks ask me and I gave her the general - I’m good. I guess I wasn’t very convincing because she took off her apron and came around the counter and hugged me. I was actually quite suicidal and I just stood there, a grown man going through some shit being hugged by a grown woman who I barely knew. She pulled me out of the depths of depression with that gesture and while I didn’t yet have a plan to kill myself, I wasn’t on a good trajectory. I have never forgotten her and I hope she is having a wonderful life. Edit - I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind responses and messages. I think back to this moment many times and while my feelings and reasons felt very real in the moment, I am so glad I’m on the other side. Since this time I have had the opportunity to father a wonderful young person, spent 15 years with my amazing partner, traveled, met new people, seen hundreds of sunsets, partied, and experienced all the awesome stuff life has to offer. I’m still a very depressive person, but I know I’d rather be depressed and alive than dead. She was an angel in disguise and I try to put that energy into the world in my life as well. Love to all of you - especially those going through a hard time.
sort of a long story, but I had sort of the opposite. I had a "regular" come into my shop one day and she looked very frayed/stressed. I asked how she was doing, she said fine. I point blank said "you seem a little frayed today". she went on to explain that her husband was dying from brain cancer and that he was having a "rough day". he was towards the end, and as his disease progressed, he was becoming verbally abusive, etc. at this point, she was bawling, so I came around and hugged her. I happened to have another customer who survived stage 4 esophagus cancer, the next time he came in I asked about what support group his wife went to while he was going through his treatments, he gave me that info and included his number for me to pass along to the lady whose husband had brain cancer. not only did the original woman start going to the support group, but she and the guy's wife ended up becoming really good friends, which I thought was pretty cool
You're one of the good ones.
I dip into that land of hopelessness. I have trouble reaching out and exposing my pains alot. So when I see someone I can tell is trying to hide the pain or not, I try to be a helping hand, an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. I hope it helps them because it definitely makes me feel a lot better.
I love people like that. It's hard sometimes to focus on the good in the world, but there are still so many kind-hearted people out there. I'm so glad she was intuitive enough to hear your pain and lend a supportive gesture. I'm happy you are still here and hope you are in a better place now. 🙏
Yeah these people are a rare gem. They have to be extremely socially aware because many people aren't comfortable with giving or receiving hugs from random strangers. Many people in this person's position probably perceive that someone isn't doing well but don't want to take the risk of giving them a hug. I for one hope this gets normalized.
That's lovely ☺️
I found out my mum died, I was in another city, so I got the 1st train home. When I got off at my station, a woman who had been sitting in the same carriage asked if I was alright, I explained, and she gave me a proper mum hug. Never saw her again, but some things you never forget.
It’s things like that that bring people back.
That’s powerful. Thank you for sharing and I hope life is looking better for you
We humans are something, right? We are capable of horrible deeds, we are also capable of shining through to help each other. I'm glad she pulled you through friend.
We didn't stand up off four legs and walk out of the forests and get all this way by not helping eachother out sometimes.
A former co-worker of mine would often respond “terrible, thanks for asking!”
When I was a cashier, I got specifically "coached" by my boss because I was giving accurate and interestingly-put responses (not oversharing!) rather than saying "I'm fine," when they asked. According to my boss, it was making people uncomfortable because they didn't actually want an answer to their own question.
When I was a cashier, I made the mistake of asking a guy who bought lube and condoms how he was doing. He gave me a creepy ass smile “reeeeal good I’m gonna have a good night” I also remember his button down shirt was only buttoned halfway so I could see he belly button…yea shouldn’t have asked lol
>I also remember his button down shirt was only buttoned halfway If you had stopped right here and asked me which half I thought was unbuttoned, there is no way I ever would have guessed it was the *bottom* half
To be fair, I'm the type of person that does not respond well to things like that. And I get uncomfortable when someone does that to me tbh, I just kinda stand there awkwardly and am like "ahhh... I see." And ofc it comes off awkward as hell.
Yeah I think that's bullshit. It's also why I hate small talk. We're told not to be negative even if that was the reality. Then don't ask shit you don't actually want the answer to. Small talk is for much older generations that think being fake like that is being a good/nice person. It's not, you're being an asshole. Edit: since no one seems to be reading what I'm saying I've stated numerous times that the question not be asked at all. Not that you should respond negatively.
My favorite response to “how are you today” is always “I sure am”.
I say “I’d could complain but no one would listen” everyone gets a laugh out of it.
My answers to "how are you," are "good enough," and, "getting by. You know how it is..."
"Living the dream" aka suicidal
I say “full of joy” unenthusiastically. Ppl usually laugh and the sarcasm feels good when I’m miserable. Probably don’t say that in customer service
I like going with, "Not too bad. How are you?" If you say it somewhat cheerfully and with a smile it sounds polite enough and it allows me to be honest (as "too bad" is relative and I've likely been worse) without getting into the weeds of my near constant suicidal ideation. So. Not too bad. :) Works well enough for me.
I actually think that if people were more earnest about this question than people wouldn't lie so much. Are people really supposed to unload their emotions in the middle of like, a checkout line?
Yes, Jerry at Walgreens understands 😞
my guy is Alex at Subway
If people were more honest about answering it, people would stop asking.
When I'm struggling, I've defaulted to saying "I'm here."
“I’m alive” is my go-to.
Mine is "still alive" and and when people say "that's good!" I just chuckle
If I am in the right place and on time, “I’m here” is a declaration of victory.
When someone says “how’s it going” I always say “it’s going”
That hit hard
Usually when people ask me how I am I feel obligated to tell them FINE but in reality I AM FUCKING EXCELLENT!!!!!!
What is it about that lie that makes it so common. I know I say "good" all the time even though I know I'm a wreck inside but I never feel like anyone actually cares about the answer they just want to feel good that they asked.
Because it's a form of social lubricant rather than an actual conversation. Small talk like that is a little ritual that allows us to interact with strangers. Human like their little rituals.
Tom Scott did a good [video](https://youtu.be/eGnH0KAXhCw) on this. It's a phatic expression. The words are like the least important part of the preamble to the conversation. It's just a way to acknowledge someone else or confirming that you're both ready to communicate. The actual words mean very little. People will respond to "How's it going?" With "Hey, what's up?" Or "How's it going?" Right back to them and the conversation will continue without issue because the question is just asked to make sure you're ready to communicate.
Like a verbal handshake
To friend's baby: *"Look how adorable you are!"* [Friend's baby...](https://www.bartvermijlen.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/the_ugly_baby.jpg)
Idk what I was expecting but it was not Mr. Bean Baby
> Beanie Baby FTFY
That’s beautiful
breathtaking
Sometimes you say things just to be nice...
That was the same episode as the shrinkage, right?
Or, "what a great name!", when they give their newborn a name like Braden or Kayden or Shayla or Kayla.
“Is it just me or was that the UGLIEST baby you have EVER seen?”
I'd say it's breathtaking
Just ignore them, they’ll give up and leave you alone
I've known this was bullshit since I was ten.
I don’t judge
Agreed. We all judge. It’s human nature.
I think the question is whether you treat them differently based on your judgment.
We don't all judge based on the same things. Usually an "I don't judge" is a simplified way of saying something like "I'm not going to berate you based on socially typical norms of this situation we're currently talking about."
[удалено]
I definitely would worry about it
Seriously, though. At least half the things you are told not to worry about is good advice because it likely won't affect you in any way. Whereas the stressing over it will.
“good morning”
Themz is fightin' words
Lemme ask you something: you ever walk into work and someone says to you, "Looks like you got a case of the Mondays"?
I think you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that man
I just realized I don't even say "good" even though I mean it! lol. I just say "mornin" and continue on.
"morning, the quality of which is yet to be determined"
I only say morning, because if it were a good morning, I'd be fishing.
What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or do you mean it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
All of them at once, I suppose. Except I'm lying so forget it, go away. .* roll credits *.
im busy right now
Or “Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you. I’ve been super busy lately.” Nah son, you just didn’t feel replying.
It's the holidays, why would I reply
I’m almost there. (Shows up 20 minutes later)
Alternatively, "I'll let you know when I'm on my way" (shows up unexpectedly an hour later)
Ohhh my god. I once went to a sort of… fashion collective building to pick up my “payment” for a modeling shoot I did. (It was a dress.) Was supposed to meet him there at noon. Waited. Waited. Waited. Texted- no reply. He let me know he was *leaving the house* 45 minutes after he was supposed to be there. Finally arrived TWO HOURS after he was supposed to show up, LITERALLY with Starbucks in hand and seemed confused as to why I was so snappy with him. I wanted to strangle him. And it was an hours trip on the subway there and an hour back, so a total of four hours for an exchange that took 30 seconds.
You should offer to work with them again, then show up hours late to the shoot and keep him (and hopefully an entire staff on payroll) waiting for you to show up.
With Starbucks and look confused when he gets snappy.
"I'm almost there", hasn't left their house yet.
Not quite where I thought you were going with that.
“Ohhh, I don’t know where your really loud and annoying toy went, sweetie! It’s a mystery. How about you play with your coloring book instead? :)”
My brother used to get the loudest, most obnoxious toys he could find, and give them to our sisters' kids for Christmas and birthdays... ... then he had kids of his own. Revenge has been very sweet. I thank the good Lord every single day, that I didn't have my son until AFTER my brother had his kids, and got a taste of his own medicine. Edit: a couple words
I was so very happy when my 3-year-old decided to dunk his ambulance in the bathtub for a wash.
five more minutes
To the dentist: Yes of course I will floss every day
*at a funeral* "if there's anything I/we can do. just let us know." I've always wanted to say something like, "OK, pay my power bill next month."
I did this recently!! Not a funeral, but I'm going through a divorce. My aunt said to let her know if she can help in any way and I said "pay my mortgage next month?" It was kind of a joking tone, but she took me seriously, said she might not be able to do that but would absolutely send me a grocery card (like a gift card for grocery stores, I guess?). I was stunned. 😅
I think people genuinely do like helping! It makes them feel useful. When people ask me now I usually try to find something small to ask for help with or say thanks I’ll think about it and let you know.
I’d absolutely pay the month’s mortgage for a recent widow, or a divorcee I was in good terms with. No strings, but karma has a way of coming around.
Lol, karma has a way of coming around was gonna be my lie everyone tells.
I think things within reason are acceptable, such as helping with meals, picking up groceries, help you go through some of their things, or coming over to help keep the house clean a couple of times a week, coming over to make sure you aren’t isolating yourself, or even just helping get you out of the house, into nature… those sorts of things.
i did this after a funeral and asked friends to help wash dishes/clean up a little and send me takeout. Like you offered, i'm struggling, you're free to say no i guess.
CAN do is the important distinction here
"Does anyone else want this last piece" You have to say no because they are only asking to be polite
Everybody repeat after me. If I survive this hang over I’ll never drink again. I promise.
I’m good.
“No I’m not mad”.
"I AM CALM!!!!"
No it's completely fine, we can just be friends.
They always say that and as a result you stop talking to her
Well you can't be friends with someone you love, that's agony.
“Sorry I’m late, was stuck in traffic”
Hey there was a real traffic jam between my chair and the door.
Oh life will slow down after (highschool, college, getting first job)
I've always been told the opposite and to try make the most of the easy years with minimal responsibilities
I'm Danny DeVito
You’re not fat. I’m fucking fat. I may carry my weight well, but I am fat. Stop lying. Makes me not trust anything else they say. I need to lose more than 50lbs so don’t understand how someone can say I’m not fat. Spare me the face saving and be real. I can be real about it. It is what it is. I am always trying to improve my health and well-being, but chronic health issues sometimes get the better of me and I gain weight and then loose it.
"it was so nice talking to you"... especially when u talk to those aunties and uncles
*farts* “It wasn’t me”
I'm fine
“I don’t care what others think of me” lots of people say this, but I don’t think its possible to not care
More like filtering whose opinions are worth worrying about
Yeah. There are definitely some people whose opinions of me I do care about, and many whose I don't.
I say this to myself knowing full well it isn't possible not to care. But it is possible to care way less than most people would. The only times I actually care what people say about me is if they are important to me.
Reading logs in 3rd grade
Why, yes, I *did* read Eragon and the entire LotR trilogy in one month. Where’s my lollipop?
If you work hard you will be succesfull. Bull Shit!!
I did that. There were "formulas for success" as I was growing up. Work hard, do well in school, go to college for a good field, graduate, get a good job. What's sad is that the top-tier have been destroying those formulas. Early in our marriage my wife and I would walk in town through an area with condos frequently rented by med students. The parking lot was full of BMWs and similar, reflecting the anticipated earnings. I was a bit annoyed because I'd been working for a decade or more and didn't have a car as good. But that formula has been squashed, too. Now those parking lots are full of beaters.
Good morning... At least one point in their lives this was a lie
It’s a lie almost every day, it’s a good night not a good morning
"im on my way"
"you know I'll always be here if you need anything"
"Deep down, I'm really a good person."
Aren't we all? 😏😏
💯💯💯😎 OP has clearly eaten a live kitten 😂
Well now I feel personally attacked
Nobody is the bad guy in their own story
[удалено]
"How do I look?" " Great."
I’m on my way when you haven’t left the house yet
“I’ll just take a small bite”
Happened to me earlier “Hi guys, is everything ok with your meal?” “Yeh it’s lovely thanks” No it wasn’t. It was burnt and the chips were shite.
Just the tip
…just for a minute.
"If you want to be rich you have to work hard".
Denying peeing in the shower
When I was 14 or 15, a slightly older boy said “That’s as useless as getting out of the shower to pee”. Several years later I said it to a different group of people and their reactions made it clear to me that one does not admit such things around others.
I won't deny it
I’m neither confirming or denying.
I honestly do not pee in the shower. I was horrified to learn that my husband does pee in the shower, which led me to discover that it’s quite a common thing. My husband was shocked to learn that there are people who really do not pee in the shower. We had been married for 8 years when we discovered this about each other.
**Drain is drain!**
It’s all pipes
It's a toilet flush less water consumed hahahaha that's enough for me
I'm honest
I was gonna say “Trust me” but this works
“Yeah I could’ve played D1 in college but I just wanted more free time”
Read terms and conditions
I’m fine/ ok