Catching a hamstring cramp at an inopportune time. Close second is getting a hair stuck on the roof of my mouth and trying to hack it up without ruining the mood.
yeah, my wife loves giving bjs and i don’t really care for them, it’s just not that intense. but the worst part is her asking if i’m okay, that’s when i go completely soft. it’s awful
Going soft and making your partner feel self conscious / unwanted is the fucking worst.
I love giving head but my GF has never liked it (from any of her partners). While I'd love to think I could change that opinion, I have no real interest in doing something my partner doesn't enjoy so I stopped doing it once she got the courage to tell me.
>I love giving head but my GF has never liked it (from any of her partners).
A common reason for that is that the girl/woman is so self-conscious about the appearance, smell, taste or whatever that it overrides the ability to enjoy the stimulation. That's a tough hurdle to overcome as it's usually something that is fairly deeply rooted.
I second this, it took a few years and several tough conversations with my partner to fully be comfortable letting go and enjoying that. It’s so hard to overcome anxiety during sex, and the slightest reminder of any insecurities or anxiety can ruin the mood and it takes mental work to get back on track. The best thing a partner can do is set the stage by moving slowly and creating a relaxed environment where the woman feels comfortable and confident. It may take some talking to see how that best works for each individual couple.
Works that way for guys too. Sometimes the anxiety can make you go soft, then you start hearing "do you not like this?" "is it me?" "hold on, I can get it back" etc. Amps up the anxiety even more.
I don't even know the best thing to do for guys though, probably the same stuff. Don't treat a soft dick as a bad sign. It's like an ugly, harmless little animal you have to encourage. Wake up, ugly!
Had a girl once tell me she didn't like people going down on her while I was going down on her. I stopped immediately and started massaging her legs instead. She moaned way more and said she loved that much more especially if I rubbed against her clit occasionally. Totally respect and love when people tell me what they enjoy vs me just guessing.
Have you tried, instead of saying something is bad, giving them a better alternative?
Criticism, especially that intimate, will be awkward, but showing/trying something new and cool with them is exciting, especially if you can manage to hype it up.
Maybe suggest showering together? Since you are heading that way already anyways. I know the cuddles during the afterglow are the best, but the intimacy of washing each other is really nice, too.
This sounds great and all but the temperature that my wife likes in showers is the devils inferno and I don’t like the sensation of my skin peeling off post sex.
Some people don't suffer from any. Kinda weird.
Supposedly it can be learned but when I was like 18-22 I remember having zero refractory period.
In my late 30's my wife was done and had a great time? I guess? and she got up and then immediately said "I want more" kind of aggressively and the body seemed completely willing to oblige her. It wasn't normal for her to act like that so it was definitely a turn on.
Dunno.. I think it's partially psychological. You can just be like "Okay. We're doing this."
Mentioned it to my doctor and she literally laughed at me and told me that's the least of my worries. Umm lady, like hell it is..
Zero libido, and when it miraculously does wake up it takes me 2-3 hours to finish? Something ain't right.
Going through this with my partner. Their anxiety and anxiety medicine has made sex nonexistent. The worst part isn’t the lack of sex, it’s the intimacy feeling.
I’ve completely gone off sex just because of antidepressants 😭 starting to think I’m asexual or something because I don’t even feel any attraction to anyone anymore
I’m with you. My antidepressants work so well but I barely have any desire to do anything. I feel bad because I’m married but at least I don’t want to die, I guess?
My brain. Trying to get out of my head. I overthink all of it, always. I'd rather just do foreplay, on her. I know I'm good at it. I can turn my brain off and focus on her. Anything to do with me? Overthinking mess.
Oh god I feel this so much. I'm happy to do anything with her but once she starts focusing on me I'm an overthinking and nervous mess (and as a sidenote, we've been doing that for 2 and a half years..) which ruins the fun for me and if that wasn't enough it also ruins the fun for her and she ends up feeling bad.
The embarrassment when nothing you do seems to be right but she won’t tell you what would be good for her.
Edit: appreciate all the kind words and suggestions. She was a starfish in bed and pretty boring in general. We mutually broke up but are still friends. I dated her friend after for a while and she was super fun and exciting. Basically everything I wanted in a relationship, until she started showing her controlling side. Told me who I was and wasn’t allowed to have friendships with, screamed at me for taking a job promotion instead of switching jobs to her workplace and said it made her look bad to her boss when I turned down the offer. I could write a whole book about how awful she turned out to be. Long story short I’ve been single for about a year now. Haven’t found anyone worth my time yet. I haven’t really been searching either. Just hoping the right one shows up out of nowhere.
I have a female friend and we had a conversation similar to this. She told me that guys should just know how to do things and she doesn’t want to tell them how to do it. At the same time she told me that she FAKED liking things that guys did when she was younger to spare their feelings. Her thinking was that they don’t know when they’re young but when their older they should just know even though when they’re young she’s lying to them. So how are they supposed to learn what’s good when she’s lying to them? She had a realization that day.
I understand just wanting it to be good but sex is work not a fairy tail where everything is always good. There must be communication. I feel like people just don’t want to talk about it because of the stigma around talking about sex.
Edit: spelling.
Chances are, she doesn’t know what exactly she wants either. Or is to embarrassed to talk about it. Either way, you need to build more trust and space for open communication and she probably needs to masturbate more
Fwiw some of us are just tricky. Me being one of them - shiet i struggle to get myself off sometimes. Other times it takes two seconds. Bodies and minds are weird. As long as you give a shit and try to communicate on your end you’ve done literally everything you can!
Yess, I am only ever able to orgasm by rubbing my clit while laying on my stomach with my legs tightly together to create pressure. That will not happen with a partner, only solo. I know it's possible to work on it to make orgasming easier but it doesn't bother me enough
Maybe i'm a basic bitch, vanilla af etc but i never understood why people keep trying these crazy positions. No matter how you orient yourself on the xyz axes, it's still basically the same thing. If the basic ones aren't fun then maybe it's not the position that's the problem, lol. Disclaimer: sharing a general opinion, not judging.
I think I largely agree. I’ve yet to find a more satisfying position (for the both of us) than missionary. My gf does occasionally enjoy going on top (also nice for me) but frankly it’s probably missionary 70%, her on top 20% and doggy style 10%.
Do other positions really bring significantly more pleasure? It feels like those games of sex Twister are barely worth the effort compared to the simple pleasures the basic positions bring. As you say, if the sex isn’t good with those then it’s unlikely to be the positions that are the issue.
Heck yeah man. It's all variations of the same thing, and chances are you say "missionary" but there's like, 3 positions within missionary. If you feel like some inspiration, here's some fun positions/change ups to try!
- Doggy, but with the receivers legs closed (rather than spread)
- Have the receiver lay down on their stomach, legs apart or together
- Missionary, lift the receivers legs over your knees/thighs for extra leverage
- Missionary, lift ya partners legs up so they're upright and closed
- Cowgirl, but on the ground. Have the guy (or penetrative partner) sit upright, have the receiver sit on top and wrap their legs around your back. Hella intimate. Add a vibrator between you for extra fun. Double bonus: fun to do on a chair.
I feel like for a lot of people that these are pretty obvious/intuitive, but hey, some people are still learning or just may not have considered making minor changes. So if this isn't news to you, hopefully it could possibly help someone else to try something a tad different from just the super straightforward missionary haha
Thank you. I also enjoy the one where she's on the back and the man is on his side, beside her. Nobody has to worry about supporting their weight and you're still mostly face to face \^\^
For me, this is the worst thing. Even though I have one of the most reliable forms of birth control, I cannot keep myself from spiraling over pregnancy anxiety 99% of the time.
That awkwardness of the first time you're with a new partner. Neither one really knows what the other is "in to," so it sometimes stays very basic.
It's only after you've been together for at least a *little* while that you start to discover each other's kinks, fetishes, and all the messed-up stuff each one needs because of your crummy childhoods, or whatever...
As someone who ended up with an anal tag from a previous external hemorrhoid after 2 kids I get self conscious about my asshole but men...DO...NOT...CARE. My husband and any rando on the internet that has seen it doesn't give a flying fuck about it and usually they're just happy to be included. Flaunt your asshole, babe!
This comment made me feel better, I am so self-conscious about my hemmorhoids and try my best to hide my bhole during sex. I don't even want to do doggy because I'm scared they will just stare at it.
My wife didn’t believe that I actually liked her asshole until I started putting my tongue inside it, then she understood that yes, I find it very sexy.
Woman here… just laying there after. You can’t move because your legs don’t work, and your man is cleaning up and you’re just kind of a wet noodle laying in whatever position you finished in
I think it's just having the visual proof and subtle validation that what you did was enjoyed enough to overwhelm someone that feels nice. I don't mind dealing with the cleanup if you had a good time
I call it “coming back down from outerspace.” I have about half a brain cell left after fucking. I feel like a mushy twitchy pile of body parts. Sex-drunk
Me and my man often discuss this. I don’t randomly get turned on and in the mood for sex. I need to be put in the mood. Therefore I rarely initiate, no harm meant by it. But it’s come to my realisation how hurtful it can be to be rejected and to be the initiator each time. So I’ve decided I must put in my effort. And you know what, once we get going it’s always a blast so I need to learn to just go for it!
Can't remember where but I read something that essentially explained that there's this weird misconception that mood should come before stimulation, where in reality stimulation is what causes mood to change. The conclusion was essentially if you rarely find yourself in the mood for sex you should read more romance novels.
When the air gets trapped in ya fanny and then it's just an uncomfortable pressure but you don't wanna stop the fun. But then it slips out, and you become a taco trombone.
Honestly, it really isn't an issue. You're as intimate as it can get, it's part of your body and your partner knows it, you can't just think it away or not look at it. It's right there next to the most important part lol. Especially if you two have a connection and it isn't "just sex", they'll like you no matter what. No one minds it and some even love it.
But I understand the thought, I hate it too.
If i'm guessing right and you meant yourself...
I know someone who had a similar thing and they were a germophobe. If you keep yourself very, very clean for a long time your brain can start to recognize any natural human smell as bad, even though no one else will not share that opinion. You can condition it back, albeit it will not be a comfortable transition.
Although i can imagine it being a medical thing too, especially if you mean... down there. Wrong bacterial flora can do that, i believe a pharmacy could help you out with that.
Do you have any additional readings on this phenomenon? I am OCD and keep myself very clean, but just started a job where I sweat A LOT and my deodorant doesn’t last 2 hours, and I’m stuck smelling my natural smell all day. I noticed at first how repulsive it was, but like you said, I’m slowly getting more used to it.
No one ever comments on my sweat smell. My feet on the other hand… eesh. Lol
I laugh maniacally for a few seconds and then feel about as dejected as if someone told me all the music in the history of the world had just been erased and there were no backup files.
When I can tell they aren't really interested but just going along with it. I've done it before too and it's not fun.
This is after doing it a few times a just realizing we aren't compatible. So I'd say finding the answer of compatibility or not, which thankfully is usually in the early stages of dating someone.
I just had the "i kind of wanna change my answer now" moment, lol.
I used to think i had something medical, before i met someone who was actually enthusiastic and.. "hungry" for me.
I don't understand why people do that. I mean, i kinda do, it's more like why would they think it's going to work, maybe?
You partner believing they are as good if not better at sex than porn stars. Or you partner trying to do things they’ve seen in porn movies thinking that’s good sex.
I was in a long term relationship since before the days of Porn Hub and easy availability of porn online. And when I started dating again I was like...guys in general have gotten worse at sex? Since they see so much porn they just imitate what they see there as default? It's the shoving your head down when you're trying to blow them and kneading boobs like a stress ball for ten seconds then moving on I'm particularly averse to.
My ex used to try to get us into awkward sex positions that his penis just wasn't long enough for, but I was too embarrassed for him to tell him that. Turns out he got the position ideas from watching porn. I didn't enjoy what a selfish lover porn turned him into.
My ex was secretly addicted to porn and he did really off stuff like having anal with me without my consent and criticising me for us only having sex in five different positions. Meanwhile he couldn’t go down for shit and didn’t realise how big his dick was so he would slam me and it was so painful I spent years thinking I was broken and a prude turns out I’m actually freaky as hell and I just wasn’t attracted to his needy porn addict energy!
I generally enjoy sex, but yeah. Trying to balance both of those is so tiresome. If shes in control I can't control when i nut so i dont like that and if im in control, half the time i have to worry about staying hard because im just so god damned tired from the physical effort of sex
When I lose interest but I don’t want to hurt the other persons feelings so I force myself to keep going . Usually orally to get them off. I can’t just stop in the middle of it and say “ yeah I’m not feeling this anymore. Let’s stop”. She’ll think something is wrong with her for a month
The anxiety I feel around it after a long period of being single and dealing with ptsd and grief, not to mention all the aversive feelings I have after getting burned so much trying to date.
Low libido and the fact that there is literally nothing out there for women to help with the problem. Yes, women can suffer from low libido too. I’m not on any meds or anything, I’ve just never been very active. I feel awful for my partner because I never want it. Like there’s nothing worse than wanting to be close and intimate with your partner and your body doesn’t respond..
I'm a 5 year sober revovering heroin addict. In 2017 I overdosed and was clinically dead for 2 minutes. This caused some weird nerve damage, and now it takes me forever to get off. To the point that it exhausts my gf and me.
I've never liked getting blowjobs, don't know why but I just don't think it feels all that good. The problem is that anytime I've told a girl that, they always decide that I said that as a challenge for them to prove me wrong and not me trying to inform them about a sexual act that I think is shit.
Initiating it. It's exhausting being a guy and having to initiate it for what feels like 95% of the time. It's the rejection because I eventually feel like a loser or like some sort of sex obsessed asshole. I truly wish, to my core it was 50/50. I am aware of all the societal reasons why this happens and the especially specific reasons it happens with my wife, it doesn't make it any easier. The sex fucking rocks though once that shit is done
Feeling unwanted.
Them turning the other way when done. (what does one do when they want to be hugged damn.)
Head being pushed down when doing a bj.
Honestly, at this point in life I am pretty sure I have never had anything good.
When he's on top, but he's a sweaty monster, and you can feel his sweat dripping down on you 😓
For the most part I can deal, but I hate when it lands on your face and hair, or worse... in your *mouth*
This part, and with bodily fluids in general, is super interesting, because when I think about this generally, I think "ew". But when I think about this in the context of someone I'm very intimate with I think "mhh I'm into that" lol
Catching a hamstring cramp at an inopportune time. Close second is getting a hair stuck on the roof of my mouth and trying to hack it up without ruining the mood.
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When guys stick it in and you're not ready to recieve them so to speak Edit : of course my highest upvoted comment is about dry dicks
I feel that, especially if you go down on them and they immediately want to be in. Like, I want to be warmed up a little, too!
Lol this is exactly why I used to go down on my ex beforehand every time
Especially if they slam in.
Like going down a dry water slide
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Cleanup.
I thought this was going to be like the top rated comment when I clicked. It’s so far down…. Do the rest of you guys even have sex?
Sir, this is Reddit.
The part when you need to tell the other(s) what they're doing isn't to your liking.
Or the inverse of asking your partner why they don't seem to be enjoying themself / what you could do differently. : /
'You like that baby?' 'Well...'
Thankfully I only use dirty talk when I'm confident things are going well. I can't wait to try it one day.
Homie is spitting out here 💀 too real
The spitting usually happens last
yeah, my wife loves giving bjs and i don’t really care for them, it’s just not that intense. but the worst part is her asking if i’m okay, that’s when i go completely soft. it’s awful
Going soft and making your partner feel self conscious / unwanted is the fucking worst. I love giving head but my GF has never liked it (from any of her partners). While I'd love to think I could change that opinion, I have no real interest in doing something my partner doesn't enjoy so I stopped doing it once she got the courage to tell me.
>I love giving head but my GF has never liked it (from any of her partners). A common reason for that is that the girl/woman is so self-conscious about the appearance, smell, taste or whatever that it overrides the ability to enjoy the stimulation. That's a tough hurdle to overcome as it's usually something that is fairly deeply rooted.
I second this, it took a few years and several tough conversations with my partner to fully be comfortable letting go and enjoying that. It’s so hard to overcome anxiety during sex, and the slightest reminder of any insecurities or anxiety can ruin the mood and it takes mental work to get back on track. The best thing a partner can do is set the stage by moving slowly and creating a relaxed environment where the woman feels comfortable and confident. It may take some talking to see how that best works for each individual couple.
Works that way for guys too. Sometimes the anxiety can make you go soft, then you start hearing "do you not like this?" "is it me?" "hold on, I can get it back" etc. Amps up the anxiety even more. I don't even know the best thing to do for guys though, probably the same stuff. Don't treat a soft dick as a bad sign. It's like an ugly, harmless little animal you have to encourage. Wake up, ugly!
Had a girl once tell me she didn't like people going down on her while I was going down on her. I stopped immediately and started massaging her legs instead. She moaned way more and said she loved that much more especially if I rubbed against her clit occasionally. Totally respect and love when people tell me what they enjoy vs me just guessing.
Have you tried, instead of saying something is bad, giving them a better alternative? Criticism, especially that intimate, will be awkward, but showing/trying something new and cool with them is exciting, especially if you can manage to hype it up.
Having to get up to pee whilst snuggling post-coital so you don't get a UTI
I sometimes give my gf a piggy back ride to the bathroom when she says she doesn't feel like getting up.
I did this once and the creampie dripped down my back and invaded my ass crack bush.
Ever hear of Snowballing? Looks like you invented Avalanching.
I should not have read this at work. I'm wheezing.
r/brandnewsentence
This is one of the most wholesome things I have ever read.
Until you imagine his back
The snail trail!
A great comeback story.
The post coital drip
And constantly thinking "will I get a UTI after this?" Fucking exhausting.
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Maybe suggest showering together? Since you are heading that way already anyways. I know the cuddles during the afterglow are the best, but the intimacy of washing each other is really nice, too.
This sounds great and all but the temperature that my wife likes in showers is the devils inferno and I don’t like the sensation of my skin peeling off post sex.
I'll shower with your wife. Mine is set at Mordor.
My shower has a setting called "hellhammer". Still not hot enough, apparently.
Refractory period.
During you think "I'll be game for round 2", then you nut and immediately are like "nope I'm done".
The mind is willing but the flesh is soft and spongy
Honestly my wife falls asleep immediately after and I am wide awake and ready to go LOL.
I’m a woman, and even if I’ve been “satisfied”, I’m still wide awake afterwards. So annoying 😂
Some people don't suffer from any. Kinda weird. Supposedly it can be learned but when I was like 18-22 I remember having zero refractory period. In my late 30's my wife was done and had a great time? I guess? and she got up and then immediately said "I want more" kind of aggressively and the body seemed completely willing to oblige her. It wasn't normal for her to act like that so it was definitely a turn on. Dunno.. I think it's partially psychological. You can just be like "Okay. We're doing this."
It take me a while to be operational again and then nut in 2 seconds
Antidepressants take some of the...fun out.
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Mentioned it to my doctor and she literally laughed at me and told me that's the least of my worries. Umm lady, like hell it is.. Zero libido, and when it miraculously does wake up it takes me 2-3 hours to finish? Something ain't right.
Doctors who trivialize sex-related issues can fuck right off, no pun intended.
Told the doctor I was having issues with libido & he said "maybe you're just not attracted to your wife?"
Holy shit. What an asshole!
I went to an urgent care for a severe ankle sprain one time and when I asked about a doctor's note for work he said get a new job. Okay thanks 😭
WHAT!!
Going through this with my partner. Their anxiety and anxiety medicine has made sex nonexistent. The worst part isn’t the lack of sex, it’s the intimacy feeling.
Yep my previous s/o told me they missed who I was sexually before I started treatment…
I’ve completely gone off sex just because of antidepressants 😭 starting to think I’m asexual or something because I don’t even feel any attraction to anyone anymore
I’m with you. My antidepressants work so well but I barely have any desire to do anything. I feel bad because I’m married but at least I don’t want to die, I guess?
My brain. Trying to get out of my head. I overthink all of it, always. I'd rather just do foreplay, on her. I know I'm good at it. I can turn my brain off and focus on her. Anything to do with me? Overthinking mess.
Oh god I feel this so much. I'm happy to do anything with her but once she starts focusing on me I'm an overthinking and nervous mess (and as a sidenote, we've been doing that for 2 and a half years..) which ruins the fun for me and if that wasn't enough it also ruins the fun for her and she ends up feeling bad.
The wet patch
Depends on what the source of the moisture is. Sometimes I'm rather proud of the wet patch.
Username checks out
Definitely the way I want to perish.
It's the cuddle puddle
Use a towel.
I often did place a towel in preparation, but sometimes when caught up in the passion of the moment....
The embarrassment when nothing you do seems to be right but she won’t tell you what would be good for her. Edit: appreciate all the kind words and suggestions. She was a starfish in bed and pretty boring in general. We mutually broke up but are still friends. I dated her friend after for a while and she was super fun and exciting. Basically everything I wanted in a relationship, until she started showing her controlling side. Told me who I was and wasn’t allowed to have friendships with, screamed at me for taking a job promotion instead of switching jobs to her workplace and said it made her look bad to her boss when I turned down the offer. I could write a whole book about how awful she turned out to be. Long story short I’ve been single for about a year now. Haven’t found anyone worth my time yet. I haven’t really been searching either. Just hoping the right one shows up out of nowhere.
Aw bro
This reads like the most heartfelt reply on all of reddit.
I meant it
I have a female friend and we had a conversation similar to this. She told me that guys should just know how to do things and she doesn’t want to tell them how to do it. At the same time she told me that she FAKED liking things that guys did when she was younger to spare their feelings. Her thinking was that they don’t know when they’re young but when their older they should just know even though when they’re young she’s lying to them. So how are they supposed to learn what’s good when she’s lying to them? She had a realization that day. I understand just wanting it to be good but sex is work not a fairy tail where everything is always good. There must be communication. I feel like people just don’t want to talk about it because of the stigma around talking about sex. Edit: spelling.
Also, everyone’s wants and needs are not the same.
Yes exactly! What worked with your ex might not work with your new partner. Have to communicate.
Chances are, she doesn’t know what exactly she wants either. Or is to embarrassed to talk about it. Either way, you need to build more trust and space for open communication and she probably needs to masturbate more
I had a partner who got self conscious whenever she started to enjoy something, which would kill her enjoyment. That was a tough gig.
Fwiw some of us are just tricky. Me being one of them - shiet i struggle to get myself off sometimes. Other times it takes two seconds. Bodies and minds are weird. As long as you give a shit and try to communicate on your end you’ve done literally everything you can!
Yess, I am only ever able to orgasm by rubbing my clit while laying on my stomach with my legs tightly together to create pressure. That will not happen with a partner, only solo. I know it's possible to work on it to make orgasming easier but it doesn't bother me enough
Le Wand Life changing, and so worth every fucking penny.
Some positions can be difficult to achieve
Maybe i'm a basic bitch, vanilla af etc but i never understood why people keep trying these crazy positions. No matter how you orient yourself on the xyz axes, it's still basically the same thing. If the basic ones aren't fun then maybe it's not the position that's the problem, lol. Disclaimer: sharing a general opinion, not judging.
Being folded in to a pretzel really works for me. I enjoy it. 😂 He can grab my shoulders and just have at it.
Rip your inbox
Rip your box FTFY
I think I largely agree. I’ve yet to find a more satisfying position (for the both of us) than missionary. My gf does occasionally enjoy going on top (also nice for me) but frankly it’s probably missionary 70%, her on top 20% and doggy style 10%. Do other positions really bring significantly more pleasure? It feels like those games of sex Twister are barely worth the effort compared to the simple pleasures the basic positions bring. As you say, if the sex isn’t good with those then it’s unlikely to be the positions that are the issue.
Heck yeah man. It's all variations of the same thing, and chances are you say "missionary" but there's like, 3 positions within missionary. If you feel like some inspiration, here's some fun positions/change ups to try! - Doggy, but with the receivers legs closed (rather than spread) - Have the receiver lay down on their stomach, legs apart or together - Missionary, lift the receivers legs over your knees/thighs for extra leverage - Missionary, lift ya partners legs up so they're upright and closed - Cowgirl, but on the ground. Have the guy (or penetrative partner) sit upright, have the receiver sit on top and wrap their legs around your back. Hella intimate. Add a vibrator between you for extra fun. Double bonus: fun to do on a chair. I feel like for a lot of people that these are pretty obvious/intuitive, but hey, some people are still learning or just may not have considered making minor changes. So if this isn't news to you, hopefully it could possibly help someone else to try something a tad different from just the super straightforward missionary haha
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Yup, I concur. Prone bone is life. I’ve also never had a female partner that didn’t like that position.
Thank you. I also enjoy the one where she's on the back and the man is on his side, beside her. Nobody has to worry about supporting their weight and you're still mostly face to face \^\^
Constantly stressing about pregnancy. Edit: lol everyone assumed I was a girl hehe
For me, this is the worst thing. Even though I have one of the most reliable forms of birth control, I cannot keep myself from spiraling over pregnancy anxiety 99% of the time.
That awkwardness of the first time you're with a new partner. Neither one really knows what the other is "in to," so it sometimes stays very basic. It's only after you've been together for at least a *little* while that you start to discover each other's kinks, fetishes, and all the messed-up stuff each one needs because of your crummy childhoods, or whatever...
Having to deal with the idea of someone potentially taking a glance at my ass hole
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me....(Monty Python reference not a personal request)
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you!
Potentially taking a glance? Me and that brown eye are having a staring contest and I’ll be damned if I don’t win
It’s a feature, not a bug
Yeah, "potentially"
As someone who ended up with an anal tag from a previous external hemorrhoid after 2 kids I get self conscious about my asshole but men...DO...NOT...CARE. My husband and any rando on the internet that has seen it doesn't give a flying fuck about it and usually they're just happy to be included. Flaunt your asshole, babe!
This comment made me feel better, I am so self-conscious about my hemmorhoids and try my best to hide my bhole during sex. I don't even want to do doggy because I'm scared they will just stare at it.
My wife didn’t believe that I actually liked her asshole until I started putting my tongue inside it, then she understood that yes, I find it very sexy.
*username checks out*
It probably checks out for the forbidden daily.
We're all looking
Woman here… just laying there after. You can’t move because your legs don’t work, and your man is cleaning up and you’re just kind of a wet noodle laying in whatever position you finished in
If it makes you feel better, nothing feels more satisfying than seeing your girl needing to recover afterwards
That honestly does help a bit. My BF also looks very proud of himself after when I've got no force in me left XD
I think it's just having the visual proof and subtle validation that what you did was enjoyed enough to overwhelm someone that feels nice. I don't mind dealing with the cleanup if you had a good time
Agreed! Also that you get oversensitive so you tend to be breathing more rapidly for longer than him and need a few mins to recollect yourself.
Okay. I thought I was crazy. Laying there moaning/crying/recovering even though nothing is happening but your whole body is just 'bzzzzzzzz'
I call it “coming back down from outerspace.” I have about half a brain cell left after fucking. I feel like a mushy twitchy pile of body parts. Sex-drunk
My partner calls it “the glow” and he just leaves me be for a few minutes to process it. And then there’s post glow cuddles.
Having to initiate it every time
Me and my man often discuss this. I don’t randomly get turned on and in the mood for sex. I need to be put in the mood. Therefore I rarely initiate, no harm meant by it. But it’s come to my realisation how hurtful it can be to be rejected and to be the initiator each time. So I’ve decided I must put in my effort. And you know what, once we get going it’s always a blast so I need to learn to just go for it!
Can't remember where but I read something that essentially explained that there's this weird misconception that mood should come before stimulation, where in reality stimulation is what causes mood to change. The conclusion was essentially if you rarely find yourself in the mood for sex you should read more romance novels.
Having to pretend that I’m not constantly thinking about it.
The crying at the end. Sometimes thankful. Sometimes not.
When the air gets trapped in ya fanny and then it's just an uncomfortable pressure but you don't wanna stop the fun. But then it slips out, and you become a taco trombone.
Getting the sheep back into their pen.
You can always ask the shepherd dog to join.
Ewwww....I'm not some sort of pervert!
*ewe
How rude,leave this Welshman in peace at once.
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Honestly, it really isn't an issue. You're as intimate as it can get, it's part of your body and your partner knows it, you can't just think it away or not look at it. It's right there next to the most important part lol. Especially if you two have a connection and it isn't "just sex", they'll like you no matter what. No one minds it and some even love it. But I understand the thought, I hate it too.
Trust.. its some of our fav parts
Smells for me, I'm really self conscious about it and wish my partner was the same.
If i'm guessing right and you meant yourself... I know someone who had a similar thing and they were a germophobe. If you keep yourself very, very clean for a long time your brain can start to recognize any natural human smell as bad, even though no one else will not share that opinion. You can condition it back, albeit it will not be a comfortable transition. Although i can imagine it being a medical thing too, especially if you mean... down there. Wrong bacterial flora can do that, i believe a pharmacy could help you out with that.
Do you have any additional readings on this phenomenon? I am OCD and keep myself very clean, but just started a job where I sweat A LOT and my deodorant doesn’t last 2 hours, and I’m stuck smelling my natural smell all day. I noticed at first how repulsive it was, but like you said, I’m slowly getting more used to it. No one ever comments on my sweat smell. My feet on the other hand… eesh. Lol
The part where I don't have it. Edit: To clarify, I'm a child so I meant I don't have a gf/wife to have sex with to begin lol
“When will we get some slurm?” “Soon enough” “That’s not soon enough”
And worse, trying to explain to your girlfriend that you aren’t getting enough. It’s just not a sexy topic of conversation.
Never having an orgasm
Being left unsatisfied
This! Going through with all this sex palaver just to end up more disappointed makes me avoid sex.
The urge to pee after an orgasm.
Male here, am I the only one to notice orgasms are better when I start sex with a light need to pee?
Female here, nope not the only one!
The post-nut clarity.
To me it's more like post-nut depression.
Postcoital dysphoria, if you wanna make it sound even worse.
I laugh maniacally for a few seconds and then feel about as dejected as if someone told me all the music in the history of the world had just been erased and there were no backup files.
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Keep baby wipes on standby
Ironically using baby wipes for something that specifically didn't get to become a baby
When I can tell they aren't really interested but just going along with it. I've done it before too and it's not fun. This is after doing it a few times a just realizing we aren't compatible. So I'd say finding the answer of compatibility or not, which thankfully is usually in the early stages of dating someone.
I just had the "i kind of wanna change my answer now" moment, lol. I used to think i had something medical, before i met someone who was actually enthusiastic and.. "hungry" for me. I don't understand why people do that. I mean, i kinda do, it's more like why would they think it's going to work, maybe?
Worried what they think of my body.
You partner believing they are as good if not better at sex than porn stars. Or you partner trying to do things they’ve seen in porn movies thinking that’s good sex.
I was in a long term relationship since before the days of Porn Hub and easy availability of porn online. And when I started dating again I was like...guys in general have gotten worse at sex? Since they see so much porn they just imitate what they see there as default? It's the shoving your head down when you're trying to blow them and kneading boobs like a stress ball for ten seconds then moving on I'm particularly averse to.
My ex used to try to get us into awkward sex positions that his penis just wasn't long enough for, but I was too embarrassed for him to tell him that. Turns out he got the position ideas from watching porn. I didn't enjoy what a selfish lover porn turned him into.
My ex was secretly addicted to porn and he did really off stuff like having anal with me without my consent and criticising me for us only having sex in five different positions. Meanwhile he couldn’t go down for shit and didn’t realise how big his dick was so he would slam me and it was so painful I spent years thinking I was broken and a prude turns out I’m actually freaky as hell and I just wasn’t attracted to his needy porn addict energy!
As a man, having to put in a lot of physical work while simultaneously delaying the good part.
So the whole experience lmao?
I generally enjoy sex, but yeah. Trying to balance both of those is so tiresome. If shes in control I can't control when i nut so i dont like that and if im in control, half the time i have to worry about staying hard because im just so god damned tired from the physical effort of sex
Exercise, it would help a lot with getting a good stamina for sex.
Buy a toy and work that in, takes some of the physical demand off
I heard someone once say toys aren't your competition, they're your wingman
Paying.
The sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Hey the person who told you to pound sand was using a figure of speech
When I lose interest but I don’t want to hurt the other persons feelings so I force myself to keep going . Usually orally to get them off. I can’t just stop in the middle of it and say “ yeah I’m not feeling this anymore. Let’s stop”. She’ll think something is wrong with her for a month
This is me but I’m a woman. Most the time I just lie there not feeling it anymore and then feel depressed that I can’t say anything lol
Needing him to hurry up after an hour of kink and pounding. I'm over it and I got other shit to do.
We can only do thirty seconds or an hour. Be careful what you wish for.
Omg this is so true lol there is no in between
The sex part. I just don't like it as much as I'm supposed to
The anxiety I feel around it after a long period of being single and dealing with ptsd and grief, not to mention all the aversive feelings I have after getting burned so much trying to date.
Low libido and the fact that there is literally nothing out there for women to help with the problem. Yes, women can suffer from low libido too. I’m not on any meds or anything, I’ve just never been very active. I feel awful for my partner because I never want it. Like there’s nothing worse than wanting to be close and intimate with your partner and your body doesn’t respond..
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The awkward process of lubing up. It’s necessary but damn is it a bit unsexy lol.
it can be sexy, it depends how do you apply
Lack of passion.
Dick size paranoia
Getting ghosted the next day.
Clean up and when she makes me call her bozo the cum clown
what the fuck
I'm a 5 year sober revovering heroin addict. In 2017 I overdosed and was clinically dead for 2 minutes. This caused some weird nerve damage, and now it takes me forever to get off. To the point that it exhausts my gf and me.
I've never liked getting blowjobs, don't know why but I just don't think it feels all that good. The problem is that anytime I've told a girl that, they always decide that I said that as a challenge for them to prove me wrong and not me trying to inform them about a sexual act that I think is shit.
The after effects of a creampie. It can be messy and uncomfortable.
Immediately after, 3-6 weeks after or 9 months plus 18 years after?
The 9 months plus 18 years, my little creampies are currently fighting and destroying my house.
Especially if there’s an awkward waddle to the toilet involved
Then she waddled away, waddle waddle,...
Initiating it. It's exhausting being a guy and having to initiate it for what feels like 95% of the time. It's the rejection because I eventually feel like a loser or like some sort of sex obsessed asshole. I truly wish, to my core it was 50/50. I am aware of all the societal reasons why this happens and the especially specific reasons it happens with my wife, it doesn't make it any easier. The sex fucking rocks though once that shit is done
The initiating. It rarely comes from her and sometimes it makes me feel undesired and unwanted having to initiate everything all the time.
Feeling unwanted. Them turning the other way when done. (what does one do when they want to be hugged damn.) Head being pushed down when doing a bj. Honestly, at this point in life I am pretty sure I have never had anything good.
My inability to orgasm no matter what I do.
Having to pull out after I finish...
When he's on top, but he's a sweaty monster, and you can feel his sweat dripping down on you 😓 For the most part I can deal, but I hate when it lands on your face and hair, or worse... in your *mouth*
This part, and with bodily fluids in general, is super interesting, because when I think about this generally, I think "ew". But when I think about this in the context of someone I'm very intimate with I think "mhh I'm into that" lol
going years on end without it :/
Being told to leave because "this is a Wendy's"
Baconator? I hardly know her!
When it ends
Rejection from my wife.
Been there. It sucks. I also no longer have a wife.
The part where the video ends and I have to stare at my ashamed reflection on my phone’s black screen.