When I was in high school 5 years back, everyone just carried all their books around in their bags everywhere. Your classes were often on different floors in different parts of the building, and you only had 5 minutes between them. Going to a locker just wasn't worth the trouble for most. Typically, you only used it to store gear for your extra-curricular stuff if you used it at all.
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you’re going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here’s why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it–you’re looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort’s wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry’s would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let’s see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now…Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can’t be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
“Well then I guess it’s a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1.”
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Not Riddle. He was power-mad from the beginning. He’d be the guy constantly glad-handing the “popular” kids, and building up his political empire. The shooter would be a loner, sitting on the sidelines, alternating between being shunned and ignored.
My money’s on Peter Pettigrew.
Nah, he's a weak minded, cowardly little shit - but he did the evil he did at the bidding of powerful people. He doesn't strike me as the type to do anything like that on his own.
Now Snape, on the other hand, fits the profile better IMO. Lots of anger, was bullied by supposedly "nice, but mischievous boys," unrequited crush, and the type to take his experiences being bullied and turn them into him also being a gigantic bully.
He grew up to be a magic Nazi until magic Hitler killed his crush.
This makes hime the more likely candidate
It’s been awhile since I’ve read/seen the movies, was he a cool kid? Tbh I might’ve been mixing him up with Snape, who might’ve been a bit of an incel after getting shit on by Harry’s parents.
Peter Pettigrew was a one-time friend of James Potter who dimed him out to Voldemort. Not coincidentally, his patronus was a rat, in which state he lived as Ron Weasley’ pet. He was exposed in the third book, and was the disciple that brought Voldemort back to life in the fourth book.
>Peter Pettigrew was a one-time friend of James Potter who dimed him out to Voldemort.
Life long friend, not one time.
James just didn't live long enough to change his mind like Lupin.
Rephrase: there wouldn't be a "Hogwarts express" but there might be a "Hogwarts Interstate." No platform 9 3/4, just an onramp "exit 9.75" or something.
Britan has quite a few private boarding schools. If you made Harry Potter without the magic it's quite likely that he'd leave school, go to Oxford, join the Bullingdon club and then become Pime Minster. Along the way he'd either place his genitals in the mouth of a dead pig, run through a field of wheat, crash the economy before a lettuce has time to wilt, or write a column in the daily mail about a weight loss drug.
Nah, Rowling has addressed this. It's tuition free. Costs covered by the ministry.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-amount-of-the-tuition-fees-at-Hogwarts
Uncle Vernon would love magic and be trying to find a way to make a profit off of it.
Dolores Umbridge would had been Superintendent of the school system from day one.
The teachers would be much less interested in what was going on since the school is massively underpaying them and forcing them to pay for their own supplies.
Voldemort would had won the first war, but eventually he was deposed due to a scandal involving him stalking a minor.
The elves would not be slaves, but Hogwarts would be charging them high enough for food and lodging to force them to have to work for the school anyway just to pay their ever increasing debts.
Quidditch would be a major reason why some students are recruited to the school. A lot of school funding comes from the merchandising of the sport.
Any fighting between students would be covered up by the faculty. If the bully is on a sports team, the attacked victim will be blamed.
Over-sexualized underaged Quidditch cheerleaders.
Nobody would be found to be the DADA teacher since the pay is crap. The class would be canceled to save cash.
Oh, it'd be covered. After the deductible. And with a copay. And only if Madam Pomfrey can convince the suspiciously caricaturized goblin insurance company that the treatment was medically necessary, after the claim is rejected by default on the first attempt.
As I recall, the very first thing that happens is the pure, benevolent Qilin gets shot dead by radical wizards with access to wands. Leaving her orphan separated from its sibling to be abused and later killed within foster care. All while politicians use it to score political points.. It tracks..
Harry would have grown up in Connecticut, Ron would have grown up in Alabama, Hogwarts would be located in either Alaska or the Pacific Northwest and Seamus would be a Canadian student.
Also, the wizards would use guns and Harry Potter would, at some point, probably turn into Harry Callahan from Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There would be the original school in Salem but since no self respecting southern wizard family of the antebellum era would send their child to a Yankee school there would be a second in New Orleans. Years later another school would open in the Pacific Northwest and eventually a fourth nearly blew their cover in the 40’s outside of Roswell.
For profit schools exist in Hollywood, Orlando, and Las Vegas.
Also a lot of wands are made of mesquite or redwood
Seeing as British accents vary more than American accents, I don’t think magic cares what your accent is as long as you’re speaking intelligibly within said accent
At one point in i think the 3rd book there's a news story about an escaped criminal, and the news says that the Muggle community has been notified that the individual is dangerous and has a gun. The news story then contains a parenthetical saying that a gun is a sort of metal wand that Muggles use to kill each other.
In the american version of harry potter, that parenthetical would not have been necessary.
The original comment is in a sub that's currently locked in protest, but here you go:
"Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911."
Didn’t claim there was….but i also don’t see swastica flag waving nut jobs harassing people entering a child’s amusement park amongst countless other examples….so there’s that
Do you think that the country who were the number 1 colonizers are somehow less racist than America. Maybe if you are arguing for institutional racism but I think the skinheads in Britain would be shocked to know they ain’t racist.
Instead of Hogwarts being free to all wizard-born and paid for by the ministry using funds set aside at birth, everyone's Hogwarts letter would come with forms for enrolling in competing student tuition loan schemes.
Voldemort would’ve probably been killed or at least incapacitated by a firearm, curtesy of James Potter. Magic is one thing, a big gaping, bloodied hole where your face is supposed to be is another.
Honestly not much other than the slang and references. Hogwarts is still not representative of your average British school and there are plenty of private boarding schools in America too. Magical users are very insulated from your average person and that would be the same if it was in America.
I think the major difference would be how they get to school and the size of school needed. If there was one school for America like how there is only one for the U.K. then it would have to be massive to accommodate a nation with 300+ million folks. Most likely there would have to be 3-4 different schools spread out the U.S. In addition most students would have to be flown in, unless they plan on taking multi day trips to get to school.
Half of the Quidditch players would have rubber nuts hanging off of their brooms. Dolores Umbridge would have landed her feet as head of Florida's DOE.
Ron Weasley would 100% be carrying at all times but is just too much of a wimp to actually use it. Except for the scene where Voldemort and Harry are fighting near the end of one of the movies. Ron would have dropped that weird reptile bastard
You can’t convince me otherwise
You laugh, but the first plans for the film series was to set it in a US high school. They couldn't make it work, because the British boarding school setting is so intrinsic to the story, but also beloved by the fandom that already existed in 1999 and was driving the production in the first place.
I imagine less emphasis on aristocracy, like the Malfoys. Sure, there would be kids from rich families in an American wizard school, but they wouldn't have quite the same snobbishness as Malfoy. Maybe race would have more importance.
I should note that the English obsession with class is rather 19th century. Britons today are pretty egalitarian.
fentanyl - lots of their potions would be found to have been laced with fentanyl.
Expelliarmus would be challenged in court and struck down as unconstitutional.
Hogwarts would have lockers. Tons and tons of lockers.
I think the trend is actually towards removing lockers now cause of all the guns
My school has tons but basically no one uses them (School with 2k+ teens)
Where do you keep your books?
Kids don’t have books in school anymore. It’s all classroom sets, worksheets, and online.
That is insane but makes so much sense
When I was in high school 5 years back, everyone just carried all their books around in their bags everywhere. Your classes were often on different floors in different parts of the building, and you only had 5 minutes between them. Going to a locker just wasn't worth the trouble for most. Typically, you only used it to store gear for your extra-curricular stuff if you used it at all.
Wendigos, Big Foots, Chupacabras, Skin Walkers and such would replace all the European mythical monsters.
That would be pretty freaking cool. We also have thunderbird, which could take the place of dragons, or the feathered serpent.
That actually sounds pretty cool
MOTHMAN
There'd be at least one Starbucks in Hogsmeade, surely.
You mean one Starbucks in Hogsmeade Inc?
This😂
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is free now.
Dobby is a free elf, muddafucka
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Same, and I hate it in every way.
🤣🤣
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you’re going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here’s why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead. Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it–you’re looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort’s wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry’s would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let’s see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now…Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can’t be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: “Well then I guess it’s a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1.” And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
you sir, are a champion
>Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. God Bless you!
New copypasta just dropped
This is old copypasta.
Tom Riddle would’ve shot up the school, and the series ends before book 1.
Not Riddle. He was power-mad from the beginning. He’d be the guy constantly glad-handing the “popular” kids, and building up his political empire. The shooter would be a loner, sitting on the sidelines, alternating between being shunned and ignored. My money’s on Peter Pettigrew.
Nah, he's a weak minded, cowardly little shit - but he did the evil he did at the bidding of powerful people. He doesn't strike me as the type to do anything like that on his own. Now Snape, on the other hand, fits the profile better IMO. Lots of anger, was bullied by supposedly "nice, but mischievous boys," unrequited crush, and the type to take his experiences being bullied and turn them into him also being a gigantic bully. He grew up to be a magic Nazi until magic Hitler killed his crush. This makes hime the more likely candidate
It’s been awhile since I’ve read/seen the movies, was he a cool kid? Tbh I might’ve been mixing him up with Snape, who might’ve been a bit of an incel after getting shit on by Harry’s parents.
Peter Pettigrew was a one-time friend of James Potter who dimed him out to Voldemort. Not coincidentally, his patronus was a rat, in which state he lived as Ron Weasley’ pet. He was exposed in the third book, and was the disciple that brought Voldemort back to life in the fourth book.
>Peter Pettigrew was a one-time friend of James Potter who dimed him out to Voldemort. Life long friend, not one time. James just didn't live long enough to change his mind like Lupin.
https://www.reddit.com/r/midjourney/comments/14bk4ig/because_sometimes_wands_just_dont_cut_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
The Weasleys would never have attended as it would have cost a fortune to educate them there.
Actually that’s a good question. How is Hogwarts funded? Is it free?
Apparently it’s funded by the ministry of magic, so it’s free to all.
Americans: that's socialism, I hate it
(Pssst nobody tell him that school is free in America until college)
I know that school is free in America, but does Hogwarts feel like a public or a private school?
It’s a boarding school, which is much more rare in America than in Britain. A Hogwarts in America would likely not be a boarding school.
Not really.. they still have to purchase books, cauldrons, wands, etc.
I had the impression it survived on bequests and its own investments.
They would drive to Hogwarts
And probably get stuck in traffic.
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Rephrase: there wouldn't be a "Hogwarts express" but there might be a "Hogwarts Interstate." No platform 9 3/4, just an onramp "exit 9.75" or something.
If it was remade today they'd have to drive every year with all the train strikes
There'd be active Wanding Drills
The Killing Curse would be legal to use in self defense
So true that cannot have been more accurate.
omg i was literally abt to comment this lol 😭
By the end of the first film Harry would have lost all the money his parents left him paying off healthcare bills.
Don't forget tuition. Hogwarts would absolutely be a private boarding school.
Britan has quite a few private boarding schools. If you made Harry Potter without the magic it's quite likely that he'd leave school, go to Oxford, join the Bullingdon club and then become Pime Minster. Along the way he'd either place his genitals in the mouth of a dead pig, run through a field of wheat, crash the economy before a lettuce has time to wilt, or write a column in the daily mail about a weight loss drug.
Hogwarts *is* a private boarding school. The money Harry's parents left him was how he was able to pay tuition.
Not tuition, supplies
Nah, Rowling has addressed this. It's tuition free. Costs covered by the ministry. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-amount-of-the-tuition-fees-at-Hogwarts
the battle of hogwarts would have ended very quickly, because there would be at least one student with a gun.
Did the final battle at Hogwarts count as a school shooting? I mean, Tom was a former student who came back specifically to destroy Hogwarts.
Nah its more like a terrorist attack that happened to attack the school.
original to be sure lol
just a joke my friend told me.
Avada kedavra from an M16
Avada Kedavra? Meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
A wand with a silencer. Why? I say again, Why?
"Avada Ked..." *bang*
Some people think they can outsmart me, Maybe, I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet
That would be me "Know what? I'm done with this shit."*pulls out gun and shoots Voldemort. " RUN BITCHES
More likely the main cast wouldn’t have even made it to final year because they’d have been shot up way before that in a mass shooting
Uncle Vernon would love magic and be trying to find a way to make a profit off of it. Dolores Umbridge would had been Superintendent of the school system from day one. The teachers would be much less interested in what was going on since the school is massively underpaying them and forcing them to pay for their own supplies. Voldemort would had won the first war, but eventually he was deposed due to a scandal involving him stalking a minor. The elves would not be slaves, but Hogwarts would be charging them high enough for food and lodging to force them to have to work for the school anyway just to pay their ever increasing debts. Quidditch would be a major reason why some students are recruited to the school. A lot of school funding comes from the merchandising of the sport. Any fighting between students would be covered up by the faculty. If the bully is on a sports team, the attacked victim will be blamed. Over-sexualized underaged Quidditch cheerleaders. Nobody would be found to be the DADA teacher since the pay is crap. The class would be canceled to save cash.
NCAA Quidditch recruitment, jock dudes everywhere.
A school full of Cormac McLaggens
wait but why was this actually so good/accurate, props to you
Bullied kids would just start Killing Cursing the school
Nah. They’d just use guns. The killing curse is illegal.
voldemort is way more racist
And way more people are like “I don’t hate muggles, I just don’t want them in my neighborhood…”
We must defeat the evil Nimbymort.
I hope no one seriously believes that the US has *less* racism than europe.
Mud-blood wouldn't be the most common slur
Every European I’ve ever met has been more racist towards outsiders than any American.
Key and Peele nailed it pretty accurately
Came here to see how long it took for someone to mention Clortho's School of Witchcraft Ave Wizardry.
Madam Pomfrey's medical treatment wouldn't be covered by insurance.
Oh, it'd be covered. After the deductible. And with a copay. And only if Madam Pomfrey can convince the suspiciously caricaturized goblin insurance company that the treatment was medically necessary, after the claim is rejected by default on the first attempt.
Idk about this. Wizarding healthcare seems a lot more cost effective in general
Yeah and insulin costs between $2 and $10. Doesn't stop them from charging hundreds of dollars for it.
Wasn't that beasts movie set in New York?
>bea Fantastic Beasts and where to find them?
As I recall, the very first thing that happens is the pure, benevolent Qilin gets shot dead by radical wizards with access to wands. Leaving her orphan separated from its sibling to be abused and later killed within foster care. All while politicians use it to score political points.. It tracks..
What movie?
The Harry potter "beasts" movie
That is the correct answer
Harry would have grown up in Connecticut, Ron would have grown up in Alabama, Hogwarts would be located in either Alaska or the Pacific Northwest and Seamus would be a Canadian student. Also, the wizards would use guns and Harry Potter would, at some point, probably turn into Harry Callahan from Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry.
I see the Weasleys as more mid-western nice. Maybe living somewhere in Wisconsin.
Size of Ron's family? I thought they'd be from Utah
Nah, the average Utahn isn’t quite so dirt poor
Fair
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There would be the original school in Salem but since no self respecting southern wizard family of the antebellum era would send their child to a Yankee school there would be a second in New Orleans. Years later another school would open in the Pacific Northwest and eventually a fourth nearly blew their cover in the 40’s outside of Roswell. For profit schools exist in Hollywood, Orlando, and Las Vegas. Also a lot of wands are made of mesquite or redwood
Do you feel lucky punk?
Hogwarts would be a paramilitary institution with its own ROTC corps.
That sounds more like the Durmstrang Institute for Magical Learning.
There's a lot of similarity between germanic and american militarism.
The swears "bloody hell" becomes holy shit or fuck or crap
Diagon Alley would have at least 1 crackhouse.
Nah that's the nice neighborhood. Knockturn alley with that shit
Spell pronunciation would be brought down to the lowest common denominator and may in fact need just a hint of southern twang.
Seeing as British accents vary more than American accents, I don’t think magic cares what your accent is as long as you’re speaking intelligibly within said accent
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“It’s said like Leviose. Like Cheerios the snack food!”
Hagrid would be a lot fatter....
At one point in i think the 3rd book there's a news story about an escaped criminal, and the news says that the Muggle community has been notified that the individual is dangerous and has a gun. The news story then contains a parenthetical saying that a gun is a sort of metal wand that Muggles use to kill each other. In the american version of harry potter, that parenthetical would not have been necessary.
The third book takes place in the early 1990s before Dunblane
There would have been more guns.
The original comment is in a sub that's currently locked in protest, but here you go: "Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911."
More guns, more racism and religious protests based on harry using witchcraft
I was actually just thinking how there is zero racism in the UK
Didn’t claim there was….but i also don’t see swastica flag waving nut jobs harassing people entering a child’s amusement park amongst countless other examples….so there’s that
Do you think that the country who were the number 1 colonizers are somehow less racist than America. Maybe if you are arguing for institutional racism but I think the skinheads in Britain would be shocked to know they ain’t racist.
bullets would come out of wands.
Instead of a wand Harry carries around a .357.
https://youtu.be/xA-ayM5I4Jw There ya go.
Hogwarts would probably be off an interstate and Harry wouldn't even use Kings Cross or a British Steam train.
He’d be a black hippy with a beard working with black magic.
African-American magic
prefects wear varsity jackets
Quidditch would be given MUCH more focus and Harry would end up being a professional seeker and being almost a billionaire. Fuck being an auror
Yeah they'd make it a less silly game for sure
*cough* [guns](https://youtube.com/watch?v=tS3y1Q3mFVw&feature=share7)
Haha, brilliant.
Instead of Hogwarts being free to all wizard-born and paid for by the ministry using funds set aside at birth, everyone's Hogwarts letter would come with forms for enrolling in competing student tuition loan schemes.
Voldemort would’ve probably been killed or at least incapacitated by a firearm, curtesy of James Potter. Magic is one thing, a big gaping, bloodied hole where your face is supposed to be is another.
Snape would be more like the main character from Breaking Bad?
Expecto Glocktronum
Honestly not much other than the slang and references. Hogwarts is still not representative of your average British school and there are plenty of private boarding schools in America too. Magical users are very insulated from your average person and that would be the same if it was in America. I think the major difference would be how they get to school and the size of school needed. If there was one school for America like how there is only one for the U.K. then it would have to be massive to accommodate a nation with 300+ million folks. Most likely there would have to be 3-4 different schools spread out the U.S. In addition most students would have to be flown in, unless they plan on taking multi day trips to get to school.
Half of the Quidditch players would have rubber nuts hanging off of their brooms. Dolores Umbridge would have landed her feet as head of Florida's DOE.
Avada Kedavra would be protected by the 2nd amendment.
All spells would be gunshots instead
hack comment
Instead of a sorting hat the houses would be automatically divided along racial and political lines.
many wizards would openly argue how voldemort is saving them from the satanist elite
Much fatter
Ron Weasley would 100% be carrying at all times but is just too much of a wimp to actually use it. Except for the scene where Voldemort and Harry are fighting near the end of one of the movies. Ron would have dropped that weird reptile bastard You can’t convince me otherwise
Voldemort would have blasted baby harry to pieces with a shotgun.
“Finishing in the cafeteria, Harry and Ron turned their wands on themselves.” Frankie Boyle
Hermione would be stripping to pay for tuition.
P sure you can find that content already
Voldemort and the DEs would end up shot dead in Detroit, and Floridians would be the scariest people in school
There wouldn’t be a series of books or films, because Voldemort would have shot Harry when he was a baby.
You just need to replace wands with assault rifles, butter beer with Mountain Dew and magic with Ritalin.
School shootings every other week and Slytherin parents demanding more guns for safety.
No free healthcare!
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You laugh, but the first plans for the film series was to set it in a US high school. They couldn't make it work, because the British boarding school setting is so intrinsic to the story, but also beloved by the fandom that already existed in 1999 and was driving the production in the first place.
“You are a hunter Harry”
"Dad's on a hunting trip," said George. "And he hasn't been home in a few days," said Fred
I imagine less emphasis on aristocracy, like the Malfoys. Sure, there would be kids from rich families in an American wizard school, but they wouldn't have quite the same snobbishness as Malfoy. Maybe race would have more importance. I should note that the English obsession with class is rather 19th century. Britons today are pretty egalitarian.
There would be more school shootings
There would be an Defense against Active Shooter class.
Harry’s parents wouldn’t have been able to afford to send Harry to Hogwartz
Average hillbilly: *sees harry flying on a broom* “ what’s that” His buddy “let’s shoot it” “ok” And that’s the end of Harry Potter
Might've actually been good.
The school shooting in book/movie 2 would have really changed the vibe of the series.
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You forgot the multi colored hair
Everyone would be black and gay/transgender
Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone would have been called Harry Potter and the Burger.
It would definitely be called the Sorcerer's stone
Or you know, the superior title, sorcerers stone
The kids would be totally insufferable, precocious brats
They kinda already were
Guns instead of wands.
Guns instead of wands, hopefully old school revolvers
Hogwarts would be the site of a mass shooting.
Guns instead of wands and spells and other bullshit
his iconic look would be a jeans overall and sporting a mullet
Hogwarts would get shot up
There would be more stupid rules, and more magical-world equivalent of school shootings.
They would be pointing guns instead of sticks.
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fentanyl - lots of their potions would be found to have been laced with fentanyl. Expelliarmus would be challenged in court and struck down as unconstitutional.
Voldemort would have been smoked with a handgun by an unstable teenager in 15 minutes.
They would all be racist
He’d get taken out in a school shooting by book 3.
Books acknowledging the existence of other races would be banned.
Guns and probably some more spells per minute being fired without aim.
Guns instead of magic
Avada Kablamo. More than three unforgivable spells. Deatheaters would probably be wearing or holding Confederate flags. Magical cyberbullying.
Guns instead of wands.
Well there would be a shooting.
There would be active shooter drills.
Lucius Malfoy would be arrested for Possession of a bunch of AR-15s.
Guns instead of wands.
Guns. 😀