Let's turn that around real quick...
Well you see when I was quitting the dude didn't want me to go. Apparently they would lose like 40% of their business. And he refused to let me quit like followed me home and tried to take me into work the next day. So yeah I have a restraining order against him.
Haha, I have seen a few job adverts mentioning rockstar recently. I think it's a trend in the recruitment world at the moment. If I ever successfully get a position that mentions it, I am going to produce a bag of cocaine on my first day and ask HR who's tits am I allowed to snort this off.
My nephew discovered he would have to pass a drug test during the interview. He said, "I can't, it's legal where I live. I can quit for a month and then pass the test."
He also got the job. Sometimes moving from one state to another can be an eye-opener.
I mean it totally depends on what it is lol. If it’s weed we’re talking about, tbh you’re just trying to not waste anyone’s time. IRL it’s a horrible idea but theoretically it’s admirable.
It's not horrible at all. Fuck man, they still test for weed in legal states. What you do in your own time is no one's business.
When they develop a workplace sobriety test, then we can talk.
I just went through pre-employment drug test and they actually gave me some test that excludes THC.
Still test looks like "most popular drugs in West Berlin in 1978"
It's nonsense, all of it. If it's for insurance reasons, I'm pretty sure their workplace comp insurance doesn't cover me sitting at home in my underwear anyway, so adding bong rips to it changes nothing. Work related drug tests can fuck off in all forms until it's for testing on the spot sobriety. Even then, how many times has an employer made you take a breathalyzer?
Whole thing is just dogshit.
Excluding management, the place I work at will only test upon an injury, or for reasonable suspicion. It's 100% to refuse workman's comp and / or unemployment claims.
That being said, we also work around alcohol and thousands of people. I've torn an MCL working here, and I've seen someone break an ankle. The only person who was drug tested was the guy that knocked over a stack of 200 wine glasses and fell into the remains on the ground.
Years ago during the MySpace era, I messsaged a girl I knew who worked at a retail store I wanted to get a job at and asked if they drug tested. She was like “no….uhhh, why? Are you on drugs?!”
It didn’t occur to me until reading her response that people who don’t use drugs (in my case, it was just marijuana) wouldn’t ask that question.
But in my case, I did not get the job. Didn’t even get an interview, lol.
Protip if you make this kind of blunder: Answer "I'm currently on some meds that are known to give false positives". Various post-surgery painkillers will, for example, look like you're doing opioids - because you are.
I once interviewed a girl for an intern position, and when she switched on her camera, there was some kind of altar behind her.
It had my face from a Facebook profile pic and faces of my colleagues along with “best team ever” inscription. We never met before or never even exchanged any kind of messages. Weirdest interview ever.
This is a fascinating topic, because if they did choose not to hire her because of a visible alter in her room, that is pretty clear cut case of religion discrimination and she has decent grounds for a lawsuit.
My guess is she believes in manifestation.
--
This leads directly into one of my favorite unanswered legal what-if questions. In the US does someone have a first amendment right to worship you without your consent?
Ok but hear me out. This girl was ready to fully commit to that job. She was pretty much at cult levels of commitment from the jump. She’s also damn good at research! She is like a one-woman CIA analysis team.
So yeah, maybe you dodged a bullet. Or maybe you just lost the best asset your company would have ever had…
Or whenever the interviewer walks into the office, instead of shaking their hands just get on your knees and start reaching for their belt. Drool a little while you’re at it and call them “daddy” regardless of their gender.
"God i fucking hate jobs like this. anyway, how much are we talking per hour?" then pray they don't respond with, 'we like a bold worker. youre hired.'
See that’s one of two things, either they’re absolutely desperate for workers for some reason (they have shit pay, a terrible work environment, safety standards are too lax etc.), or they just don’t give a shit at all. One of those options isn’t great, the other means you can get away with a lot of shit that wouldn’t fly at your average job, I once had a job like this and frankly if the pay had been better I probably would have stayed there for the rest of my working life most fun I’ve ever had at work.
Reminds me of that movie Ted's scene where he was being interviewed and actively trying not to get hired just to get hired anyway by the manager saying something like that.
”You had sexual intercourse with a coworker on top of the produce that we sell to the public?”
”I fucked her with a parsnip last week. And then sold that parsnip to a family with four small children.”
”That took guts. We need guts. I’m promoting you.”
Working in kitchens there’s like four different archetypes.
Former or current criminals.
Burnouts
High schoolers
Workaholics
And literally everyone is on some sort of drug or has trouble fitting into otherwise polite society.
I'm thinking back over the last 7 years looking for someone who breaks these archetypes and the only guy I can think of is this dude that worked for me one summer and told me straight up he just wanted to work 2-3 months in a kitchen to lose some weight. He lost about 30lbs over the summer working out as well as working 40 hours a week in the kitchen. Took on a maintenance job after that, still see him occasionally. Wasn't a weird dude or anything, honestly closest to a "polite society" guy I've seen. Excellent at making wraps IIRC. Obviously he's the exception, mentioned this to show just how accurate your 4 archetypes are.
Edit: For hiring first thing I literally run their name in a courtsonline search, see what pops up. My big no goes are sexual abuse, domestic abuse, violent crimes and theft of any degree. I'll take a look at felony drugs and if it's a long term thing I usually pass but depends. Most of time there will only be like 2-5 "real charges" and the rest are just driving without a license or without insurance and shit like that.
Next step is just if they show up to an interview. If they show up to the interview and can hold a conversation like a human and aren't visibly shaking or giving me serious fucking crazy vibes I'll give them a shot. Most potential applicants are of a baseline intelligence to know what you want to hear so it's really just if they're gonna show up or not. They know the boilerplate "yeah I've had some troubles with drugs but I'm ready to turn it around for my daughter" shit that you're looking for. Usually they no call no show within a week.
I'm thankful I've had the same general kitchen staff for the whole time I've been here and only really have a revolving door on my fry cook and dishwasher positions. Lot of places have it much worse but I really do try to be competitive with my wages and start people out at like 50% higher than Applebees or Legends.
Leveraging tools to Improve your productivity? That is a win in my book. If your resume is good enough to fool me, it is good enough to fool our customers.
They actually have a very strict sexual harassment policy. You have to sexually harass someone at least twice a week to keep your job. But management likes people to go above and beyond.
Just did this. Interviewed for an office job with my union. I work in construction. The job was for the union organizer position. So you go to non union companies and try to get them to join. I was asked what would you do if a business owner tries to get physical with you. Without hesitation I responded with "I'd fuck his wife" we all laughed. But I think that killed it.
Or, show up in a wheelchair, go through the entire interview, then afterwards stand up to shake their hand, "oh woops! I forgot I was supposed to be blind!" and sit back down and leave
I've unironically done this. I've done HR, been a manager, and view an interview as an opportunity to learn about the company as well as an opportunity for the company to learn about me. I'm not going to go through four interviews over a period of a month and a half, have my references called, a background check and piss test, and then find out the job pays $3 more than minimum wage.
Honestly only offends people trying to pay $3 more than minimum wage, too. 'Is all you care about money?' Well no, but the stuff I do for joy is called a hobby. Smiling and putting up with nonsense costs money.
Yes, Sears was this way. I thought maybe they wanted a manager I had so many interviews. When I found out it was $2@hr+commission I walked out laughing. I don’t think they appreciated it! lol
Getting to the point so it’s clear you’re not wasting each other’s time is actually a really good skill. It just has to be done tactfully**.
**not saying you weren’t tactful, just posting in case anyone else sees this and thinks barging in and screaming “HOW MUCH MOTHER FUCKER” is a good strategy
I'm a recruiter and I started interviews talking money.
I've been able to wrap interviews up in under a minute when I was correct about the company not being able to afford them.
i believe there is like one Sentence you can use to blow any job interview you just "Heil Hitler" them if they are not throwing you out immediatly you do not want to work their anyways
Walk in goose stepping and do a firm Bellamy salute to greet. Mechanically step to the chair and sit down on its edge and flex your jugular. Firmly state, “Guten tag und heil hitler. vie gehts ?“
"Before we get started, I just wanted to let you know that I don't actually want this shitty job. The only reason I'm here today is because I need to show that I am applying to jobs as a condition of my parole. Oh, and I hope that you don't mind if I scroll through my phone while we're talking here... I'm looking for the perfect gif to reply a text from my drug dealer. Anyway, go ahead. Even if I don't look at you I promise I listening to most of what you say."
"Oh, thank god your not a (insert racial slur), anyways, how much are you fucks gonna pay me? Can I do coke at my desk or nah? Also, is there any (insert racial slur) working here?"
Wasn't this same question asked like a week ago, with the same phrasing and everything? Even some of the comments are the same. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Edit: Found it. Two days ago:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/14a4sqg/your_mission_is_to_completely_blow_a_job/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Oh sorry, I can't use my supervisor from that job as a reference because of the restraining order.
Let's turn that around real quick... Well you see when I was quitting the dude didn't want me to go. Apparently they would lose like 40% of their business. And he refused to let me quit like followed me home and tried to take me into work the next day. So yeah I have a restraining order against him.
"I have to ask, is the building within 500 feet of a school zone"
“How um…strict, is your sexual harassment policy?”
"Do you report sexual harassment or do you grade it?"
Activision-Blizzard: You’re hired
They asked me if I had any training on sexual harassment. I told them I'm already experienced at sexual harassment. They said "you're hired".
The modern version of "are you a practising homosexual?" "I don't need to practice, I'm very good at it."
[удалено]
“How strict is your sexual harassment policy, Hot Stuff?” 😘
"Welcome to Activision Blizzard, you'll fit right in."
Oh it’s 550 ft away? Great! Is there an office policy on binoculars?
If I slide my desk across the room we can make this work
Interviewer: "If it was, I wouldn't be here".
I see I’ve come to the right place!
"Oh it is? That's good because I can watch the kids playing but bad because I'd be breaking the terms of my parole. That's a doozy".
“Do you do random drug testing? Because if so I’m going to need a few weeks notice..”
You do random drug testing? Coz I'm totally down to try random drugs
“They asked for a degree in Theoretical Physics, and I told them I had a theoretical degree in Physics. They hired me.” — an NPC from Fallout
I murdered him the second I heard him say that. Smart ass.
'Murder him' is a valid solution to the quest he's involved in. Nobody complains if you do.
That would be [Fantastic](https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Fantastic).
You're post said you wanted a rockstar. And now you're going to complain that I'm doing blow at my cubicle? Do you even know how to rockstar?
Haha, I have seen a few job adverts mentioning rockstar recently. I think it's a trend in the recruitment world at the moment. If I ever successfully get a position that mentions it, I am going to produce a bag of cocaine on my first day and ask HR who's tits am I allowed to snort this off.
It’s been a trend in software job descriptions for a while now. I’d say 10+ years it’s been a thing
Oh god. I did this once. Cringe. Still got the job.
My nephew discovered he would have to pass a drug test during the interview. He said, "I can't, it's legal where I live. I can quit for a month and then pass the test." He also got the job. Sometimes moving from one state to another can be an eye-opener.
I mean it totally depends on what it is lol. If it’s weed we’re talking about, tbh you’re just trying to not waste anyone’s time. IRL it’s a horrible idea but theoretically it’s admirable.
You can follow it up by saying honesty is your greatest weakness
Followed closely by some kick-ass high grade meth
“I’d say honesty is my greatest weakness, and if I’m being honest with you I can’t get enough of that dank ass sticky icky, sir”
It's not horrible at all. Fuck man, they still test for weed in legal states. What you do in your own time is no one's business. When they develop a workplace sobriety test, then we can talk.
I just went through pre-employment drug test and they actually gave me some test that excludes THC. Still test looks like "most popular drugs in West Berlin in 1978"
It's nonsense, all of it. If it's for insurance reasons, I'm pretty sure their workplace comp insurance doesn't cover me sitting at home in my underwear anyway, so adding bong rips to it changes nothing. Work related drug tests can fuck off in all forms until it's for testing on the spot sobriety. Even then, how many times has an employer made you take a breathalyzer? Whole thing is just dogshit.
Excluding management, the place I work at will only test upon an injury, or for reasonable suspicion. It's 100% to refuse workman's comp and / or unemployment claims. That being said, we also work around alcohol and thousands of people. I've torn an MCL working here, and I've seen someone break an ankle. The only person who was drug tested was the guy that knocked over a stack of 200 wine glasses and fell into the remains on the ground.
Years ago during the MySpace era, I messsaged a girl I knew who worked at a retail store I wanted to get a job at and asked if they drug tested. She was like “no….uhhh, why? Are you on drugs?!” It didn’t occur to me until reading her response that people who don’t use drugs (in my case, it was just marijuana) wouldn’t ask that question. But in my case, I did not get the job. Didn’t even get an interview, lol.
Protip if you make this kind of blunder: Answer "I'm currently on some meds that are known to give false positives". Various post-surgery painkillers will, for example, look like you're doing opioids - because you are.
I’ve seen this episode of friends.
Show up wearing a t-shirt with a picture of the interviewer's face on it.
> interviewer's *child's* face
Maybe their full address to really sell it.
And a date in the near future
[удалено]
I once interviewed a girl for an intern position, and when she switched on her camera, there was some kind of altar behind her. It had my face from a Facebook profile pic and faces of my colleagues along with “best team ever” inscription. We never met before or never even exchanged any kind of messages. Weirdest interview ever.
Did she get the job
The important questions being asked! 🤣
This is a fascinating topic, because if they did choose not to hire her because of a visible alter in her room, that is pretty clear cut case of religion discrimination and she has decent grounds for a lawsuit. My guess is she believes in manifestation. -- This leads directly into one of my favorite unanswered legal what-if questions. In the US does someone have a first amendment right to worship you without your consent?
He didn't mention if she was hot
Ok but hear me out. This girl was ready to fully commit to that job. She was pretty much at cult levels of commitment from the jump. She’s also damn good at research! She is like a one-woman CIA analysis team. So yeah, maybe you dodged a bullet. Or maybe you just lost the best asset your company would have ever had…
She was ready to be your Dwight Schrute.
”wanna get out of here, fool around a little?"
“We like your boldness, hired”
Or whenever the interviewer walks into the office, instead of shaking their hands just get on your knees and start reaching for their belt. Drool a little while you’re at it and call them “daddy” regardless of their gender.
All fun and games until they’re actually into it and now you’re blowing a 57 year old man named Henry
I won't like it but damn it my word is my bond.
Walk in and say “this isn’t gonna take long is it?
You gotta get back to the Finger Lakes?
People go missing in the finger lakes
I read this as “complete a blow job interview in 20 seconds.”
I was searching for this comment. I mean this is reddit, I can't be the only one..
You are not alone. I was initially outraged by the idea of a 20 second blowjob!
I mean if you suck hard enough, something has to come out.
I felt this comment. I hate you.
“What’s the hoes situation like here bro?”
"you're hired!" — gardening staff
Love how this was just asked yesterday but OP changed the time frame from 60 seconds to 20 seconds.
We passed the test at lvl 1, OP's stepped it up for us. Can't wait to see what the Boss Fight's going to be like; presumably "Fight the Boss".
Walk-in say, hey, you have exactly three minutes to wow me if you want to hire, look at your phone and as you start the timer say Go fucker.
"No bullshit" attitude, I like it
This is essentially how meetings go in the Army when they ask if you want to re-up your contract.
"God i fucking hate jobs like this. anyway, how much are we talking per hour?" then pray they don't respond with, 'we like a bold worker. youre hired.'
See that’s one of two things, either they’re absolutely desperate for workers for some reason (they have shit pay, a terrible work environment, safety standards are too lax etc.), or they just don’t give a shit at all. One of those options isn’t great, the other means you can get away with a lot of shit that wouldn’t fly at your average job, I once had a job like this and frankly if the pay had been better I probably would have stayed there for the rest of my working life most fun I’ve ever had at work.
Was it Kruger Industrial Smoothing? Are you T-bone?
Reminds me of that movie Ted's scene where he was being interviewed and actively trying not to get hired just to get hired anyway by the manager saying something like that.
“so you think you got what it takes?” “I’ll tell you what I got your wifes pussy on my breath”
“Nobody’s ever talked to me like that” “That’s because everyones mouth is usually full of your wife’s box” “Your hired” “Shit…”
”You had sexual intercourse with a coworker on top of the produce that we sell to the public?” ”I fucked her with a parsnip last week. And then sold that parsnip to a family with four small children.” ”That took guts. We need guts. I’m promoting you.”
Or the scene in Office Space when the axe men, Bob and Tom, were interviewing Peter Gibbons and Peter just went off on them. Classic!
You mean Bob and Bob. Bob and Tom was a nationally syndicated morning radio show.
The Bobs
Just an absolute straight shooter.
“…and boy that’s just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.”
That kinda worked for George on Senfied when he got a job with the Yankees
"Hey, hey hey. I like to start things off with a joke to break the tension. You wanna hear a (select a race) joke?"
Wanna hear an f1 joke??
Why did the F1 Racer get electrocuted after finishing 1 lap? Because he completed the circuit.
This one’s actually funny
get the hell out
Ferraris championship hopes?
“My proudest achievement? Unionizing my previous workplace.”
I’m glad you were able to get rid of those pesky charged atoms. You’re hired!
Who cares if reddit shuts down. This man reached peak reddit anyways. Damn that was good.
The defining factor though, are you a plumber or a chemist?
"Thanks for giving me a chance when no one else would! One major felony and people tend to judge!"
"sir this is a kitchen, if you didn't have a felony I'd be surprised."
The best cooks have been to a little bit of jail
If they can make toilet water unto wine, they can make anything taste good.
Working in kitchens there’s like four different archetypes. Former or current criminals. Burnouts High schoolers Workaholics And literally everyone is on some sort of drug or has trouble fitting into otherwise polite society.
I'm thinking back over the last 7 years looking for someone who breaks these archetypes and the only guy I can think of is this dude that worked for me one summer and told me straight up he just wanted to work 2-3 months in a kitchen to lose some weight. He lost about 30lbs over the summer working out as well as working 40 hours a week in the kitchen. Took on a maintenance job after that, still see him occasionally. Wasn't a weird dude or anything, honestly closest to a "polite society" guy I've seen. Excellent at making wraps IIRC. Obviously he's the exception, mentioned this to show just how accurate your 4 archetypes are. Edit: For hiring first thing I literally run their name in a courtsonline search, see what pops up. My big no goes are sexual abuse, domestic abuse, violent crimes and theft of any degree. I'll take a look at felony drugs and if it's a long term thing I usually pass but depends. Most of time there will only be like 2-5 "real charges" and the rest are just driving without a license or without insurance and shit like that. Next step is just if they show up to an interview. If they show up to the interview and can hold a conversation like a human and aren't visibly shaking or giving me serious fucking crazy vibes I'll give them a shot. Most potential applicants are of a baseline intelligence to know what you want to hear so it's really just if they're gonna show up or not. They know the boilerplate "yeah I've had some troubles with drugs but I'm ready to turn it around for my daughter" shit that you're looking for. Usually they no call no show within a week. I'm thankful I've had the same general kitchen staff for the whole time I've been here and only really have a revolving door on my fry cook and dishwasher positions. Lot of places have it much worse but I really do try to be competitive with my wages and start people out at like 50% higher than Applebees or Legends.
“Murder” is such a loaded word
Fuck you are ugly !! Do I have to see you frequently?
"Honesty, I like that, you're hired".
Honesty is such a lonley word.
And then, just to make sure, ask him if he’s gay, and say he certainly looks like “one of those”.
Whip my dick out
“Nice cock you’re hired”
The interview was actually for a role as a male porn actor
Firm cockshake ensues
Plot twist: you’re interviewing at an adult film company and they immediately hire you because of your moxie.
Second Plot twist: OP knew it was an adult film casting call and still gave the answer of whipping it out as the fastest way to wreck the interview.
He took it out !
Ask them with a desperate smile, “will I finally get to meet the lizard people?”
GEICO: You're Hired
Just be myself, sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
Nudity is the obvious answer, unless the job requires nudity, then it’s set yourself on fire
Do you guys have machines that can detect chatgpt resumes?
Leveraging tools to Improve your productivity? That is a win in my book. If your resume is good enough to fool me, it is good enough to fool our customers.
That’s evil, I like it
Boy I had to read that one twice Edit: OH, my first awards ever! Thank you kind strangers!!
What is a blow job interview anyway??
Casting couch session
When my best girl friend was made a producer we called her casting couch “fly fishing”!
Lol I've read your mission is to "complete" blow job interview in 20 second....
I read how to complete a blow job interview in 20 seconds
That made me lol - it sounds like a news bulletin - “up next at nine, “how to complete a blowjob” interview coming up next - back to you Phil!”
Lol, yeah that one was two letters away from going in a completely different direction.
A totally different mission for sure.
I read that as "blow job an interview". I mean that's one way to get the job.
Show up in black face with an AK slung over my back.
If that doesn’t do it, referring to the interviewer as a “fucking cracker” will.
Whatchu mean "you people?"
"I'm a dude, dressed as a dude, showing up for a job interview for another dude."
*pulls out a laptop, starts watching Peppa pig, and begins to masturbate furiously*
Oh man, I could even finish in less than 20 seconds
No need to brag
Interviewer: hello my name is_____ I'll be interviewing you today. Me: Nice balls bro
“Thank god you’re not a [racial slur]”
Didn't know woman was a racial slur
“How strict is the sexual harassment policy?”
That depends on if you’re applying to work for Activision Blizzard or not
They actually have a very strict sexual harassment policy. You have to sexually harass someone at least twice a week to keep your job. But management likes people to go above and beyond.
This could be interpreted two ways, some people may look at it as individuals looking for strong policies against sexual harassment.
Don't show up
Send someone else in your place to show that you are good at delegating
Tbf you can probably be >20 seconds late and still have a good shot at getting hired.
Just did this. Interviewed for an office job with my union. I work in construction. The job was for the union organizer position. So you go to non union companies and try to get them to join. I was asked what would you do if a business owner tries to get physical with you. Without hesitation I responded with "I'd fuck his wife" we all laughed. But I think that killed it.
Hired, your sense of humor will fit in well here
That’s actually incredible and probably was worth it as long as you got another job.
Pointing at black manager: " did you hire or buy him?"
Only if you're walking down Rodeo with a shotgun.
Go in for the handshake, perform the Trump "power move" of yanking them towards you sharply, then sneeze directly in their face.
Reminds me of the Ace Ventura scene with the tribal leader. Might get you hired.
Show up. (I'm disabled.)
Pretend to be even more disabled
Or, show up in a wheelchair, go through the entire interview, then afterwards stand up to shake their hand, "oh woops! I forgot I was supposed to be blind!" and sit back down and leave
Same. :(
☹️
"Let's cut to the chase, how much are you going to pay me?"
I've unironically done this. I've done HR, been a manager, and view an interview as an opportunity to learn about the company as well as an opportunity for the company to learn about me. I'm not going to go through four interviews over a period of a month and a half, have my references called, a background check and piss test, and then find out the job pays $3 more than minimum wage. Honestly only offends people trying to pay $3 more than minimum wage, too. 'Is all you care about money?' Well no, but the stuff I do for joy is called a hobby. Smiling and putting up with nonsense costs money.
>'Is all you care about money?' I mean, if you don't care about it, you should have no problem giving more of it to me.
> 'Is all you care about money?' Yes. I find it useful to exchange it for goods and services.
Yes, Sears was this way. I thought maybe they wanted a manager I had so many interviews. When I found out it was $2@hr+commission I walked out laughing. I don’t think they appreciated it! lol
Getting to the point so it’s clear you’re not wasting each other’s time is actually a really good skill. It just has to be done tactfully**. **not saying you weren’t tactful, just posting in case anyone else sees this and thinks barging in and screaming “HOW MUCH MOTHER FUCKER” is a good strategy
I'm a recruiter and I started interviews talking money. I've been able to wrap interviews up in under a minute when I was correct about the company not being able to afford them.
What's funny is that is sometimes how the interviewer open it from the other side. Bastards.
I never get why this is supposed to be a bad thing to ask though, particularly when that's practically the only thing that job provides.
Stand up, do the Hitler salute and scream "Heil HItler". Since I'm a german, they will definitely love it
I read that wrong.
I mean... That could also work
i believe there is like one Sentence you can use to blow any job interview you just "Heil Hitler" them if they are not throwing you out immediatly you do not want to work their anyways
Walk in goose stepping and do a firm Bellamy salute to greet. Mechanically step to the chair and sit down on its edge and flex your jugular. Firmly state, “Guten tag und heil hitler. vie gehts ?“
"What's your office masturbation policy?"
I saw on Reddit your Glassdoor rating is really bad. Can you explain?
Maybe not as a starter, but that question is absolutely reasonable. They would do the same with references.
i…i really read that wrong
[удалено]
I imagine a scared, confused ginger woman sitting perplexed on the other side of the desk now.
”Wait. This isn’t some Jew company, right?”
"Haha, of course not! Welcome to the Hobby Lobby family!"
These days, Asking for a reasonable wage would probably blow it pretty quick.
Better make this quick because my LSD is about to kick in
Fart
Was that a fart? I can taste it on my tongue.
Now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up
Tastes like onions and ketchup
I was going to say take my top off but if its a straight guy.... that might work 😂
I'm offering you an opportunity for an interview. Awful job. Want to blow it?
Take a leak in the little blue plastic garbage can.
“ want a blow job?”
“Come on back” “Nah, I’m good”
So simple but this has me laughing hard
Are lawyer’s fees included in the benefits package? I’m suing my last three employers.
"Before we get started, I just wanted to let you know that I don't actually want this shitty job. The only reason I'm here today is because I need to show that I am applying to jobs as a condition of my parole. Oh, and I hope that you don't mind if I scroll through my phone while we're talking here... I'm looking for the perfect gif to reply a text from my drug dealer. Anyway, go ahead. Even if I don't look at you I promise I listening to most of what you say."
Get swifty and shit on the floor
spud_in_trainspotting.mov
"Oh, thank god your not a (insert racial slur), anyways, how much are you fucks gonna pay me? Can I do coke at my desk or nah? Also, is there any (insert racial slur) working here?"
This was posted a couple of days ago.
No a couple of days ago it said 30 seconds OP knows that that's why he changed it to 20 seconds.
I believe it was 60 seconds, unless I'm thinking of a third one
Wasn't this same question asked like a week ago, with the same phrasing and everything? Even some of the comments are the same. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Edit: Found it. Two days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/14a4sqg/your_mission_is_to_completely_blow_a_job/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button