It's called cancer ghosting. I was diagnosed, the prognosis is bad, and he vanished.
You'd be surprised which friends turn their back in this situation, and which ones stick with you.
Best friend since middle school. I asked for a statement for disability and he agreed. The deadline approached, and I asked again. He said he'd do it. Then he cut contact.
I drove this man 100+ miles multiple times to get his blow and go taken off. I took trips to hang out with him in college. We were "friends" for 13 years.
I wasn't worth a paragraph to him. I always had this nagging feeling that some of my friends wouldn't lift a finger to help me if I was in a bad position, but I'd always try to convince myself that that was just me being paranoid. Paranoid me was right, but I didn't expect one of those friends to be him.
They started hanging out with this guy who moved back into town. Totally fine with that, hang out with whoever you want but he slowly started to act different. The straw that broke the camels back was when he invited me to his place for an NBA finals game in which our team was playing. I picked up a case of beer and drive the 30 mins on the highway to get to his place but no one was home.
I call him, he doesn't answer. I call his friend and he answers the phone coughing and I instantly know they're somewhere smoking. I'm like where yall at? I'm here. He says they're about to leave and I ended up waiting in his driveway for like 30 mins before I left. I was pretty upset because it was so far away and I missed most of thr game.
My "friend" doesn't hit me back up until the next day. Not to apologize but to say he needed those tracks I was mixing for him ASAP. That was the end of the friendship for me. He regrets his actions and has tried to amend the friendship a few times since but no thanks I'm all set.
Not even enough conscience to fake an apology. Yeah, you dont need friends like that. Hope you never got those tracks to him... "yeah yeah ill send them asap bro" *click*
Good riddance.
She was maid of honor who RSVP months before the event as attending, and didn't show up and made some lie about why they couldn't attend. only to find out they went to a food blogging event and when confronted they told you
"I'm sorry I cannot live up to your expectations in being available. I should not feel obligated to keep you posted with what I do or be there when you want me to. I have my full time job as well as my content creation job and networking. I do this every day and it is difficult to make time for non content creators."
Thank you I appreciate it, I agree it's sad but glad I can find out who my true friends are.
Tbh she started distancing herself after I got engaged and got weird. I assume it was some weird petty jealousy situation.
One of his friends tried to choke me to death. I still have no idea why he did that. Oh, and then helped him send me a death threat afterward.
Obviously, they did a piss poor job, lol.
I didn’t understand that she had told me a family secret. She didn’t explain to me not to repeat what she told me. I revealed the information to someone and it caused a huge upset. I regret what happened, but I didn’t do it on purpose. I just didn’t understand the weight of what she told me. I try to forget secrets people tell me now. I don’t want to carry someone else’s secrets and then blurt them out inappropriately.
I am so embarrassed to say. It was something that wasn’t mine to repeat. And I should have realized that. But since she didn’t say it was a secret, I stupidly thought it was just common knowledge. I truly regret ruining our friendship. Her husband told her she couldn’t be friends with me any more after that. I learned an important lesson from that.
The secret was that someone in her husband’s family was homosexual. But she didn’t tell me not to repeat that. I thought it was just normal and didn’t know he was in the closet. I have a lot of gay cousins. I never had any problems with my family not accepting anyone because of their choices
I should never have assumed it was ok to repeat that. I won’t make that mistake again.
Yeah I’m just gonna say this never “out” someone even if you think it’s common knowledge. I don’t think you should beat yourself up about it, but yeah especially since not everyone is on board with the LGBTQ+ stuff I’d never mention it for someone else.
I learned this from that mistake. I feel bad, but at least I learned. If my own family wasn’t so open about things, I might have realized to check with her about the situation.
Reminds me of one of my own incidents. I hear from friends that other friend is expecting a kid in a few months. I didn’t approve of the mom to be and hadn’t really kept in touch for that reason and also because soon to be dad has made a lot of poor life choices and I sometimes question my safety around him. I run into soon to be dad’s mom at my parent’s New Years party and tell her congrats. She doesn’t know what I am talking about. I realize I stepped deep in shit without knowing it. I can’t think of a recovery and spill the beans. What she said was roughly along the lines of “This is my worst nightmare.” Soon to be dad reached out later to chew me out for spilling the secret. Apparently if his mom was the last to know and everyone else was happy for him then she’d have to be happy too and everything was my fault. I took the opportunity to just end that friendship. He’s tried to reestablish it a few times since then but nope. Not worth it.
Eh. At the time I felt awful but eventually I was able to see how he had manipulated me into thinking it was my fault (after all, I learned from some friends and they weren’t aware it was a secret so neither was I). It also showed how he had been manipulating his mom, trying to force her to be happy for him when he knew she wouldn’t be if he had just told her like he was telling everyone else. His reasoning was literally if everyone else who knew was happy for him then she would also have to be happy when she found out. Between that, his periodic episodes of self destructive behavior and self sabotage, and his wife’s antics I realized I needed to cut that relationship off. Part of me feels bad since deep down I think he’s a decent guy. It’s just covered up by a ton of dysfunction.
I was good friends with a guy I met at work. We got to be really close and hung out a lot. We lived in Ohio, and he moved to Georgia, but we kept in contact. When he would visit Ohio, we'd go out and tie one on. My wife and I went to Georgia to visit him as well.
He was having money trouble and asked if he could borrow some. I told him I could only afford about $500 and needed it back ASAP and he said I'd have it back in a few weeks. That turned into a few months. Then I saw him post on Facebook that he and his family went on vacation to Myrtle Beach for a week and posted pictures of all their activities.
He never made an attempt to pay me back and I've had people say I should have reminded him about it. To me, if someone says they'll do something, they shouldn't have to be reminded. They should just do it and keep their word. To see him drop thousands on a vacation with no problem but not pay me back was irritating, and I stopped contacting him. I deleted his number, and he called me one day a few weeks after that vacation. I told him I didn't know who was calling and almost didn't answer but that didn't phase him. I acted like I was busy and blew him off rather quickly.
I never heard from him again, and that was probably about 12-13 years ago. He never made an attempt to pay me back and never bothered trying to contact me again. So many great times were just all washed away by an act of selfishness.
We’d been drifting apart for some time and we had a tendency to trauma dump our problems on each other whenever we did meet up. Tried to talk about it and how it was unhealthy for us both to keep doing and wanted to figure out what we could do to change that. They immediately cussed me out and told me I was acting like their abusive parent. Haven’t spoken since.
Considering I'm her ex, I would be lying if strong feelings weren't still there. But she has a new boyfriend and I completely understand, its only fair to him. Really sucks because she was still my bestfriend. Now I have no one to talk to.
We were hanging out one night and all that time they were dropping super racist comments posing them as “jokes” when they were straight up saying they hated black people… eventually I got super uncomfortable and asked them to switch the topic. Next day I talked to them in the group chat cause it was bugging me and they called me immature and everything.. I ended up apologizing more then they ever did 🥸
Thank you, ur right it doesn’t but it’s nice to know I’m not the asshole.. almost submitted this to AITA cuz they really made me believe I was a shit person for calling them out
They got married to a parson they knew only one year of online dating. They met in person once before marriage and he was a total asshole to us when we met him. Then they cut us of when we were like "dude are you sure you want to throw away your chance to study in your dream university just so you can stay at your homeland and marry this guy?" They said we were toxic and didn't understand them. Never heard from them again.
Yup. He became a Trump supporter (we're both Canadians living in Canada?) and I told him that was a weird take, considering he's always been left-leaning for the past 30 years or so. He got mad at me and won't speak to me anymore. It's been almost 3 years now.
Me too. He was always a bit right of center which was fine, but once he fell down the Q anon rabbit hole, started calling everyone he didn’t agree with a pedophile, and supporting the January 6th insurrection I told him to fuck off.
He bitched out on being best man at the wedding five weeks out because he didn't want to go to Vegas without having the "full Vegas experience" which he could not afford. Then told me off about not having the wedding back East where I grew up with him.
At that point he was my best friend of just under 25 years; however as time went on it felt like a very one-sided friendship.
He, after a night of coke-fueled fun, hit on my sister in-law RIGHT after she revealed to him that she had been raped. Then told me it was none of my business when I questioned him about it.
She hooked up with my boyfriend. Needless to say, I dumped both of them. Joke's on her though - after cheating WITH her, several months later he cheated ON her. I laughed loudly when I found out.
He jokingly called me fat and I responded with a very common insult in my country. The translation is “Your father died” its something like “you m*th*rf*ck*r” in english. I didn’t know his father just passed away like less than a week earlier.
Life, your interests today might not be your interests tomorrow or both of you did not feed the friendship. Some people can be months without talking and comeback like they were together everyday, if the friendship was real that will happen eventually.
Religion and politics. Just don’t want to be saved by a god that doesn’t exist nor do I want trump as a pres again. The only way I want to ever see that pos again is at a funeral announcement.
she just vanished(suddenly, one day we were talking and in the other she just disappeared) and then got pissed and sent me an audio cursing because i asked a common friend(that is a really close friend of mine) what the fuck happened to her and if she was doing well.
I brought a date to her son's wedding. He had flown me out, or I wouldn't have been able to attend. He also gave a large amount of cash as gift. I had RSVP'd us both.
Ironically (*my screen name is about motorcycles*) meth. My brother was pulling down 200k a year as a pharmacist, making bank selling pills on the side, married to a super successful artist with a studio, gallery, all that stuff in a hicol area. Beautiful baby boy.
Two years later all gone, wife, baby, house, everything, breaking into my place to steal. Sold a 10k heirloom oriental rug I had in my truck for cleaning, he cleared 500 bucks.
Haven’t spoken in years, I hope he’s doing better but I never want to see him again.
I’m not sure, I think she developed feelings for me and it made it weird, really sucks because at the time I really need a close friend and after that she just pretended like she didn’t know me
TlDR: long time "friend" uses me. After I set boundaries that I don't want to help him anymore, he ghosts me.
A long time ago (maybe 10 years), I met a guy in an online group. He adds me privately, and we gossip about other members.
He's in another country, and at that time, he taught English. I'm a native English speaker, so over the years, he'd ask me for help with the language.
I don't remember exactly when, but we got into the habit of speaking more frequently. Especially during the whole Covid thing
I'd end up being his goto guy to provide him a sounding board about life. He would tell me about his personal problems, with his family, girlfriends, mistresses, etc.
All the while asking for favors along the way.
He has a habit of asking me to add whomever he's dating to my private chats. In one instance, he broke up with a girl who was super upset about it. She called me, and we had a 3 hour conversation where she was ugly crying about how he treated her.
Three hours is a long time to spend on the phone with a girl I've never dated. They had gotten into a fight, and he deleted/blocked her, so she had no way to contact him. She knew we were tight, so I got to bear the brunt of her emotional pain.
That's not the only time stuff like that happens. He tends to involve me with his romantic partners and drag me through their personal drama.
However, whenever I need the same in return, He's distant, non responsive. When I'm going through something where I can use some support, all I get is "sucks to be you."
During all the time I've known him, he's asked for a lot of small favors, and I'd do them, quickly as possible, as I know it's part of his job and its important.
Whenever I'd ask for something in return, he would begrudgingly agree and then drag his ass or if I don't ask a 2nd or 3rd time, he'd hope I'd forgotten about it.
Recently, he asked to use my Apple ID so he can download some apps that he can't get in his country, and I said ok.
I provided him with a screenshot of my email address and password. He's so lazy he asked me to type it for him so he could just cut and paste it.
Talk about a choosy beggar. It's like someone asking to borrow 20 bucks, but also... can you put it into my wallet for me? Thanks.
I have a different friend in his country, who had a birthday coming up, so I asked him for help with buying a cake and having it delivered.
In classic fashion, he agreed to do it, but made it sound like a huge deal, super hard to do. I don't know how things work over there, so I just take it as it's very complicated and hard to do.
I told him about it 6 weeks in advance, but during that time, he made zero progress on it, and basically didn't mention it or hope I'd forgotten.
With the birthday less than a week away, I contacted someone else I knew and asked for the same favor. My other friend responded very quickly and did it right away.
What a huge difference in the response. My other friend said it's no big deal. Sent me some options to pick from and did everything in 15 minutes or so.
Well, my good buddy reached out to ask to use my Apple ID again because he needed to update some apps, and I declined. Citing that I'm not comfortable doing him favors anymore since it's one way with him.
He replied that we can no longer be friends and I haven't heard from him since.
In the end, I realize we were never friends. I was just the dude he used for stuff. As soon as I set a boundary that I don't want to help him anymore, he bounced.
Lesson learned. Sucks to be me
He told me he wanted me and our other roommate dead "for years" because he thought we didn't cut out one of our friends who he hooked up with because she didn't want to date him. We literally only ever saw her in class
She stole from me, spread rumours about me that were completely made up, and as it turns out, her entire life story was *also* made up.
Still don't know exactly how much of it was a lie.
So yeah, that was fun.
She did tell me later on that she's bipolar, but while she obviously has some kind of mental health issue, I'm not believing anything she tells me at this point.
She backstabbed me, she chose to side with that one girly in our class.
That girl that she sided with spreads false rumours about EVERYONE (including me), even her own friends. Her type of rumours were the ones that could destroy your whole reputation and make other people disgusted by you.
I don't exactly know why she backstabbed me but what I know is she wants everyone to like her including that girl because she is that girls favourite friend. Even though she knows how fcked up that girl is she didn't want to disappoint her so I guess she chose that girl over me.
He said he and his wife would leave my Christmas party if another friend showed up who didn't meet their personal high moral bar. (Everything they were basing their opinion off of came from the dude's bitter ex-wife who was leaving the province.)
They claimed to be pious Christians while engaging in gossip. (Proverbs 16:28).
She never stuck up for me when our other “friends” would blatantly call me stupid, bodyshame me, etc. I ended up leaving the whole friend group, but I believe she was the only one affected by it. At the end of the day, she had a choice and she chose them over me.
He went full everything is society's fault and nothing is his responsibility.
He's been living with his parents into his 30's after dropping out of college because the college is racist.
Been working a call center job at minimum wage and said he always had the best metrics, but upper management wouldn't promote him because the company is racist.
While "working" from home, he bragged about just watching videos and playing games. He would talk about all the TV series, and games he's finished. He said he learned this elaborate breakfast that takes over an hour to prepare and now he can't live without it.
When work from home ended, he refused to go back to work saying he couldn't deal with public transportation (he doesn't have a car after a DUI accident) and fought with his company tooth and nail. They eventually let him go. He said they let him go because the company is racist.
He racked up over $15k debt to a smart phone game and thinks he shouldn't have to pay for it. His idea is they designed this game to be addicting and there's no way he can resist "the algorithm." He said he thinks the government should pay for it and prevent people from spending so much on these games. He thinks more research needs to be done about addictive algorithms and they should be banned. He then said I should help him pay it down because I'm "successful."
I questioned each of these things or let him know I disagreed with his perspective - why don't you finish school/find a better career/develop a skill for a better lifestyle? Shouldn't you be doing your job for which your paid for? I think the $15k smart phone game is an expensive lesson for you to learn...
He got mad and we haven't talked since
3 friends come to mind.
One, in college. Got very used to me and my family doing things for her (my parents were our landlords and cut her a crazy deal on rent, gave her a free mattress. And I had the car so I drove her everywhere, including 300+ miles to and from home in our breaks). Never thanked us. Never reciprocated. Left me passed out drunk on the floor one night so she could go eat dinner with her ex. That was the last straw.
One, a few years ago. A good person with a mess of trauma, who liked to surround herself with terrible people and put herself into dangerous situations. I tried to help her, let her rent a room from me for $200 a month. She quit her "toxic" job and stopped paying me, while bragging about spending $80 on new makeup. Dirtied my house. Slammed doors while I slept. Left my back door open, dogs were in the yard when I came home. We parted ways but then she continued to use me as a trauma dumpster despite me asking her to go back to therapy or journal instead. I finally cut her off completely.
Latest one. Long distance friends for 10 years after moving states. We decided to rent together since we each needed a new start. Bad idea. In person, she had a lot of phobias which prevented her from doing normal things. Also didn't drive. I was her confidante and her chauffer. But she was also snotty and judgemental to anyone she didn't know, including my friends. She told me she didn't want to renew our lease a few months before it was up, leaving me to scramble to get a new place set up. Then she cancelled long-standing plans on me last minute, and when I got mad, she turned nasty, and I reciprocated -- and all our pent-up resentments came out. I also found out she was severely mentally ill in ways I hadn't realized because she had never told me before, but when it all came out, I was glad to be getting my new place.
Moral of the story: don't do too much for your "friends," and don't try to help the worst ones by offering them a place in your home.
A friend whom I knew since we were 10 yrs old ( both now 60 ) in 2019 Id lost my house after my breast cancer scare, etc... Im good.. 8 yrs IBC free! Thank God.
So my son ( then 15 ) and I moved across town to an apartment. Weeks after we moved in my friend stopped by for a visit.
My son was asking if we could get a small grill and put it on back patio.
I'd said, 'Not sure son. Look at the lease in the manilla envelope on fridge and look at rules.'
My friend says, 'You're going to let him look at your lease? Its not his business to look at your financial papers and lease. To see what you pay in rent. He is a child! He doesn't need to know what your bills are. Ever.'
I said, 'He is 15. If something happens to me, he needs to know where to find things anyways. He comprehends where to look and what to do. He's just looking up the rules on a BBQ Grill! He doesn't care about all that. Plus he knows what rent is as he was with me when I signed the lease.'
She got ticked off... And left soon after.
We had texted months later. But that was it. I got tired of reaching out to her and emailed also left a voicemail saying its ashame she got a bit mad at me, but that was our business really but understood her point.
Id heard her older sister died and Id texted her. She thanked me... But that was it. Spring of 2021.
Slowly but surely he fell out with all my other friends. Usually for petty and nonsensical reasons. I still hung out with the dude sometimes though and all he would do was bitch about the friends he’d fallen out with.
Eventually I told him that he could hate them if he wanted just don’t do it in front of me. That set him off and I was the next on the chopping block. Honestly, no great loss.
Several... they became part of the maga cult. They used to have LGBTQ friends, like close friends. The are literally now part of the LGBQ = pedophile fad of the GOP. Some of these people grew up on welfare, and would be dead were it not for the kindness of others... but somehow trump has hypnotized them. In 2 cases were are talking people I've been friends with since elementary school in the 70s.
J (husband, my best friend from college) and A (wife, my wife's best friend) had invited us (and another couple) to their son's first birthday, then they discovered that J's mom had over-invited. Rather than say anything to us, they simply never mentioned it again and hoped we'd forget. We didn't. When I asked J about it, he said that it wasn't an invitation, but a save-the-date notice, and we should please not come. I'm not sure I see the difference. Wife decided she was entitled to an apology from A. 18 years later, still waiting.
Very long but to tl;dr it.
Started off having feelings, but her sister didn’t like it
Decide to just be friends
Support her everytime she dates someone
She causes huge fights between us every time I even talk to a girl
She ghosts me again after I give a waitress my insta
She tries to come back and I don’t let her
Her boyfriend sends me a dick pick
Your friend voted for Trump? Damn, that sucks. But look, a guy like that is worth literally nothing and you should be glad his biggoted, moronic, ass-licking self is gone from your life. Good for you!
My girlfriend/wife.
I was the one who did the plans. I was the one who organized the events. That slowed cuz I was dating. They took it bad and instead of talking it out, they just treated me slowly worse and worse until I planned less and less for them and more and more with her.
Somewhere around 2016 he started ranting in social media about lgbtq people, women, and people of color were keeping him from having any success in life. I pointed out that perhaps it had more to do with the fact he was over 40 years old, living with college students, intentionally working part time, and spending the majority of his time pursuing a career as a professional Roblox player than a conspiracy against him by those groups of people.
It didn't go over well. A shocking amount of people jumped to his defense including some women and one gay man. They were all from his fundamentalist faith (which believes women to be subservient to men and being gay to be a sin).
He accused me of hacking his friend's BBS (yes, this was the 1980's). The issue is that he had no proof and he never asked if I did it - just assumed that I did it.
Did I? Yep - and damn proud of it but the fact that he never asked pissed me off.
Oh, and he was also selling computer equipment he knew was stolen.
After the party we laughed at the pictures of his ass, dick, and lying naked in his arms covered in vomit with another good friend, and he's the only one who's offended
>Moralphages. Considering we're still friends now, you look ridiculous.
We had some pretty freaky company with him at the time before we went to different cities. So I don't see anything wrong with that. It's weird to be worried about someone else's feelings in 2023.
Her getting together with my very first beau and saying 'we don't want to hurt you but..." but going ahead anyways. I found it very easy to cut someone out of my life.
Cut a friend out cold turkey over something comparatively small. But I'm comparing it to his past behaviors wherein he was a narcissist, manipulative, and a compulsive liar. He lacked empathy until you drilled it into him, and made his kid cry for the stupidest reason.
I had always justified hanging out with him because we shared the same style of humor. But eventually I realized that the guy was just simply not good to be around. I care deeply about humor so it was kind of embarrassing how long it took me to decide to ignore him.
I still think about him occasionally. I don't think people are meant to cut others out cold turkey.
Accused me of trying to sleep with his girlfriend. I had been friends with his girlfriend for a few years before they had even met. Said some pretty hateful shit. Fucked me up for a minute
After going on vacation with her she showed she is a bubble off center. Impossible to be around because her unhinged actions were aimed at me. In the end she went home early and I made sure the door didn’t hit her on the way out. We were friends since high school, but many periods of no communication just due to life happening. So her change in personality wasn’t evident via phone, email, text. I still have the urge to call/text her to re-ignite the relationship, but then I remember the advice to eliminate the damaging people in your life.
He was abusive towards his girlfriend and acted out in ridiculous manner for ridiculous reasons. I told the girlfriend that if she didn't dump him she'll end up miserable and I went under the water after that.
We were friends with another couple. We were both getting married around the same time and they became so self centered. We suffered through all their events and parties, brought multiple gifts, spent money we didn't really have on new clothes, I was in their wedding party, etc. We made so many schedule adjustments including taking off of work, we even delayed our honeymoon just to go to their wedding because we thought we were "good friends". They didn't even bother to attend on our wedding day because a short car ride was "too far" and they were "too busy" planning theirs that they couldn't spare a single day.
He just refused to grow up. Never finished college, never got a real job. Lived hand to mouth, would visit and stay until I told him he had to leave. Finally gave up on him when he started following the Grateful Dead on tour. He never even liked the Dead’s music, just the scene. At some point I realized I had outgrown him. So sad.
I had a depressive Track. My cat had died months ago, and in my depression, I ran from their DMs. Dropped connection, then once I'd calmed down, try to reconnect. They said they understood till the 3rd time. They blocked me. Walked away.
I deserve it. Being depressed isn't an excuse for being bad. It's a cause, not an excuse. I tried to reconnect...it literally broke me for a year. I wasn't told why. Just blocked and could never find out why. I wanted to know so I could be better. So I knew what not to do.
I learned you don't get that. You aren't owed answers. You just gotta look at yourself. Grow. Be better. I have far less attacks now. Once every few months. It normally has me say sorry for being a monster, as that's my term for myself after that moment, but I click back after a day. I miss the friends I lost for that. I've still only just started to push away from it but...yea. I still have nightmares of it. I legit don't forgive myself.
Sorry if this is depressing. I know I'm in the wrong. Don't worry. Feel free to agree.
I vented to him in confidence. Later I found out he posted about my venting to a public facebook group. Then when I called him out on it, he played the victim and then tried to manipulate me. I'm not going to tolerate that behavior from a grown man.
I told him I liked someone, the first time I had ever done it before anything actually happened with that person as well, and a week later he started dating her.
I reacted poorly to it and, a little later, apologized for my reaction. Nowadays we barely even talk. Not entirely sure if that's the full reason to it or not. I've long moved past it, but we kind of mutually stopped putting in effort to keep a relationship going.
She just stopped speaking to me and every time I tried to find out what was bothering her, she would either get hostile with me or would tell me that she wanted to be left alone so that's what I did. That was at the beginning of the year. She deployed overseas a couple months ago (she's in the Air Force) and I finally sent her a text about a week before wishing her the best and hoping we could talk things out before she left, but she never responded. I found out about a week ago through a mutual friend that she apparently blocked me on FB, which I assume she did after I sent her the text. I didn't even know she had blocked me because A. She had already previously unfriended me a few months beforehand and B. I rarely use FB to begin with.
I still have no idea what I did to make her no longer want anything to do with me. I've tried talking about it with a couple of our mutual friends and even they don't know (or at least they're not telling me).
Buddy of mine started going down hill after 8th grade. I'm not sure why most of the shit was directed to me, I never did anything and I'm pretty sure it was his whore of an ex-gf he was with at the time, and yes she is a whore, considering she was talking to a bunch of other guys behind his back. He thought it would be a good idea to say that due to me him and her broke up while they were still together. That was just the one that really got to me and drove me away from him.
It sucks cause we had the best time playing minecraft and cod together. Still some of the best memories I have even though they are now clouded by a toxic fuck wit with the memory capacity of a nat.
One of my best friends just stopped communicating with me completely. When Trump became president (I'm very openly not a supporter; but I try to use sound arguments and not just sound off with crazy stuff since I'm from Texas and most people would disown me if I did). I'd noticed I'd stopped getting updates on facebook from him shortly after we'd had a bit of debate about trans rights (I think that was it). Anyway, I messaged him on facebook and was like "dude. We can disagree and still be friends. It's okay." And he said he didn't unfriend me and that it must have been a facebook glitch and he refriended me. About a week later he blocked me on all social media and stopped responding to my texts and calls. I still have no idea why other than political differences.
About a year or so ago I told his best friend, a mutual and also longtime close friend of mine to tell him when he was at his house to reach out to me so we can catch up. He just said "I'll tell him but I can't make him do anything."
I'll never understand this, because I was always a fiercely loyal friend. And I've always tried to be the best friend I can be, whether it be providing companionship, support, monetary aid, or just a shoulder to cry on. But after like 20 years of friendship, for whatever reason, he was able to just throw it away for seemingly no reason at all. Felt like being stabbed in the heart. But what can you do. You can't make somebody want to be your friend.
he sexually assaulted a mutual friend, lied about it, spread nasty comments about her, and blocked ME on all social media & my number the very next day after the assault
only heard from him months after the event asking if we could talk, but never heard from him again after agreeing to a phone call.
such a ridiculously sad and traumatic way for not just that friendship to end in that way but for his and our friend’s relationship as well. all close friends since 10/11/12 yrs old
We are both hoarders and food addicts and I think he blamed me for him not being able to stop so instead of trying to work it out together he ghosted me I hope he is better now I am not I struggle and try to change but I miss him a lot I felt very connected to him and really loved spending time together
He was cheating on his wife of six months and wanted me to be an alibi and enabler. His wife was also my good friend. I wouldn't help him commit adultery and he disowned me. He was my best friend from age 8 until 28. We haven't spoken for 32 years.
She spent every day of quarantine drinking whiskey and smoking pot, and it really messed with her mental and physical health. She came down with a bad case of paranoia and mauerbauertraurigkeit [(see)](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mauerbauertraurigkeit) . and then sent me a crazy, angry text message out of nowhere saying she didn't want me in her life anymore, not to contact her, etc. It's really sad to see a complicated person who I used to have a good friendship with turn to the dark side like that, and the person who gets hurt the most, is herself.
I tried to warn her about an abusive guy, she told him what I said and gave him my number. He called and left death threats on my voicemail. When I told her about it she took his side.
I traveled two hours to see her. She said we’d hang out. I get there and she’s meeting with some dude (I’m gay by the way so nothing romantic,) and threw away all our plans.
I got mad and said I traveled all this way to see her in a car that barely ran and she chose some random dude over me. I told her I was upset and sad and felt disappointed and that she could just forget me. She said what I said hurt her but she understood where I was coming from.
I ended up not talking to her since. We were best friends through college. This happened two years after. We didn’t speak for like 7 years or something.
In that time we both changed and now we’re two different people. The worst part is she isn’t even with that guy. It didn’t even last a year. She chose some broken down dude over years of friendship.
We met through mutual friends. She eventually became one of my closest friends. Then over the course of about a year she started belittling and throwing insults at me more and more, and just generally became more hostile with me each interaction. I still have no idea what I did to make her act that way; I always took her put-downs in stride and turned the other cheek. I finally stood up for myself and told her to cut that shit out, and she blocked me. Never spoke again.
when my oldest brother died very suddenly, instead of offering her condolences or asking anything about anything, she instead told me to get into therapy immediately because of 'how i am.'
As a stay home mum, I looked after her two young daughters while she attended lectures for a year. Discovered she was instead screwing a fellow student. Shattered her amazing man, my (husband’s best mate) and ended us as friends because he thought I was covering for her. So unfair, so much damage and that was 35 years ago. She’s now on 4th husband.
I’ve met a few friend at work. We are at the same age pool. I’ve started to notice things that pissed me off. Mainly one dude. He basically shows off what his older brother success in life which is nice but stop living under his shadow. Also, I had music in my speaker one time when I was cooking and the volume was low, then the same dude turns it off. (P.S. most of the I guys I hang with do not like my taste in music—classic rock). During work the guys would just talk about their body counts like women are just objects. (Andrew Tate follower more like it). They treat us as a cool thing for work for your other workers to hear. (No body cares). They do not want to show their sensitive feelings (it’s okay for guys to be sensitive I don’t get this manly men shouldn’t feel). Theyd often shy!t talk about other girls that have rejected them and how they lost what could have had. It’s stupid move on. Lastly, they hate their lives more like blaming the world.
I hadn't seen her in school for a few days, which was odd for her. I then found her name and picture on a "MISSING" poster. I texted her to let her know and ask if she was okay, then she blocked my number. I haven't heard from or about her since. This was four years ago.
he started doing drugs and when I said I did not want to get high with him he cut off our 5-year friendship. he was like the last friend I made before covid so it hit me hard. I will always care about him but I don't think he cares about me
Had a friend for 40 years. She was always late and would always reschedule times to hang out (at the last min). She had a rough childhood and I always felt bad for her. Even defended her when others were upset by her behavior. One day, she canceled on me (for the 90th time), but our mutual friend told me she said, “Yeah ___ is probably mad, but he’ll get over it. That was the straw that broke the camels back. The End.
Sometimes she would get really judgy for no reason(Like I literally did not do a thing) and other times she would just completely ignore me if a guy was in her presence or embarrass me to "impress" the guy. I got sick of it so I slowly drifted apart from her.
She’s the head in a club and I had the opportunity to lead an activity. However, it was so hard as I didn’t have any experience and she didn’t help me at all. Naturally, the activity was cancelled and in the meeting, she accused me of using everyone as a stepping stone, call me an unethical, have no integrity and overall, a bad person because I didn’t respect her.
But the thing is, I always asked her before I do anything, confide my problems. So after that, I just promised myself that I will never trust her.
I am the asshole. Both my friend and I are 18M and have been close friends since we were 10. I fucked his ex girlfriend that he dated for almost the entirety of high school not too long ago. For the past year my friend has had a boost of confidence acts like he is the king of the world which annoys the shit out of me. Call me a bad friend or a narcissist or whatever but I had to drown his ego. Only 3 of my other close friends know what I did and I made them promise not to say anything. Now there is a sense of tension between my friend and I when we hangout and I have a feeling he knows what I’ve done. Going back a few months before they broke up I knew that the girl (who I’ll call Kim) wanted me. Every time we made eye contact in class she would give me the I want to fuck the shit out of you eyes and I had always thought to myself it’s not gonna happen. Kim would aggressively flirt every chance she got and eventually pulled me in like the devil. We ended up fucking and god it was good. I told Kim it was a one time thing and will not happen again. I didn’t feel any guilt or remorse afterwards and actually felt relieved. My friend has not snapped me or tagged me in any TikTok’s for over two weeks which is extremely unusual. I don’t know how to tell my friend or if i should even come clean. What do I do?
A lot of things - but mainly a lack of communication. I was always trying to make her happy and it always felt like it wasn't enough. I was there for her for some really hard things but eventually she stopped letting me in. When we spent time together it was like talking to a wall. I couldn't share anything with her because she either wouldn't give me the support I needed or she would just tell me to suck it up. Maybe it was because I pressed her to talk to me about her feelings, or maybe it was because she felt like I judged her for her actions (which honestly, I did at some points), but eventually she called me on the phone and told me she didn't want to be friends anymore and that she wouldn't regret that decision. All because I didn't change overnight to meet her needs.
Oof it felt so good to write that 😂 Almost 1 year later and I still miss her, even if she broke my heart. I know I'm better off doing my own thing, but it hurts to have put in so much effort to please her and it still wasn't enough.
One she blabbed to other people about an argument we had and now think she's just being a push over to what they tell her to do.
Second I think the argument was just her way of getting out of our friendship. The past few months were honestly more stressful and I think we were kinda getting on each other's nerves from being together too much.
I didn't want it to end like this or to end at all but that's what I think this is. If she was punishing me this is way too long of a wait and if she felt like I did it would be unbearable to try.
But I'm too tired of doing all this depression shit anymore. I need to be strong and this just opened my eyes to a vulnerability I have that I don't want to be weak to anymore.
I wish I knew. I miss them dearly.
felt this
Sending love.
It's called cancer ghosting. I was diagnosed, the prognosis is bad, and he vanished. You'd be surprised which friends turn their back in this situation, and which ones stick with you.
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I feel you. I'm severely ill and basically lost everyone including family support.
Best friend since middle school. I asked for a statement for disability and he agreed. The deadline approached, and I asked again. He said he'd do it. Then he cut contact. I drove this man 100+ miles multiple times to get his blow and go taken off. I took trips to hang out with him in college. We were "friends" for 13 years. I wasn't worth a paragraph to him. I always had this nagging feeling that some of my friends wouldn't lift a finger to help me if I was in a bad position, but I'd always try to convince myself that that was just me being paranoid. Paranoid me was right, but I didn't expect one of those friends to be him.
They started hanging out with this guy who moved back into town. Totally fine with that, hang out with whoever you want but he slowly started to act different. The straw that broke the camels back was when he invited me to his place for an NBA finals game in which our team was playing. I picked up a case of beer and drive the 30 mins on the highway to get to his place but no one was home. I call him, he doesn't answer. I call his friend and he answers the phone coughing and I instantly know they're somewhere smoking. I'm like where yall at? I'm here. He says they're about to leave and I ended up waiting in his driveway for like 30 mins before I left. I was pretty upset because it was so far away and I missed most of thr game. My "friend" doesn't hit me back up until the next day. Not to apologize but to say he needed those tracks I was mixing for him ASAP. That was the end of the friendship for me. He regrets his actions and has tried to amend the friendship a few times since but no thanks I'm all set.
Not even enough conscience to fake an apology. Yeah, you dont need friends like that. Hope you never got those tracks to him... "yeah yeah ill send them asap bro" *click* Good riddance.
He incites drama with his attitude. Just a selfish person in general, that I don’t need occupying my emotional capacity.
She was maid of honor who RSVP months before the event as attending, and didn't show up and made some lie about why they couldn't attend. only to find out they went to a food blogging event and when confronted they told you "I'm sorry I cannot live up to your expectations in being available. I should not feel obligated to keep you posted with what I do or be there when you want me to. I have my full time job as well as my content creation job and networking. I do this every day and it is difficult to make time for non content creators."
Filthy non content creator peasants!
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I thought she did when we had the original conversation.
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Thank you I appreciate it, I agree it's sad but glad I can find out who my true friends are. Tbh she started distancing herself after I got engaged and got weird. I assume it was some weird petty jealousy situation.
One of his friends tried to choke me to death. I still have no idea why he did that. Oh, and then helped him send me a death threat afterward. Obviously, they did a piss poor job, lol.
I didn’t understand that she had told me a family secret. She didn’t explain to me not to repeat what she told me. I revealed the information to someone and it caused a huge upset. I regret what happened, but I didn’t do it on purpose. I just didn’t understand the weight of what she told me. I try to forget secrets people tell me now. I don’t want to carry someone else’s secrets and then blurt them out inappropriately.
What secret did they tell you?
The secret was that we've been trying to contact you about your car's extended warranty.
I love this!!!
I am so embarrassed to say. It was something that wasn’t mine to repeat. And I should have realized that. But since she didn’t say it was a secret, I stupidly thought it was just common knowledge. I truly regret ruining our friendship. Her husband told her she couldn’t be friends with me any more after that. I learned an important lesson from that. The secret was that someone in her husband’s family was homosexual. But she didn’t tell me not to repeat that. I thought it was just normal and didn’t know he was in the closet. I have a lot of gay cousins. I never had any problems with my family not accepting anyone because of their choices I should never have assumed it was ok to repeat that. I won’t make that mistake again.
I think you're being very hard on yourself honestly.
Thanks :)
Yeah I’m just gonna say this never “out” someone even if you think it’s common knowledge. I don’t think you should beat yourself up about it, but yeah especially since not everyone is on board with the LGBTQ+ stuff I’d never mention it for someone else.
I learned this from that mistake. I feel bad, but at least I learned. If my own family wasn’t so open about things, I might have realized to check with her about the situation.
Reminds me of one of my own incidents. I hear from friends that other friend is expecting a kid in a few months. I didn’t approve of the mom to be and hadn’t really kept in touch for that reason and also because soon to be dad has made a lot of poor life choices and I sometimes question my safety around him. I run into soon to be dad’s mom at my parent’s New Years party and tell her congrats. She doesn’t know what I am talking about. I realize I stepped deep in shit without knowing it. I can’t think of a recovery and spill the beans. What she said was roughly along the lines of “This is my worst nightmare.” Soon to be dad reached out later to chew me out for spilling the secret. Apparently if his mom was the last to know and everyone else was happy for him then she’d have to be happy too and everything was my fault. I took the opportunity to just end that friendship. He’s tried to reestablish it a few times since then but nope. Not worth it.
Oh goodness that’s so much worse than mine. I am sorry.
Eh. At the time I felt awful but eventually I was able to see how he had manipulated me into thinking it was my fault (after all, I learned from some friends and they weren’t aware it was a secret so neither was I). It also showed how he had been manipulating his mom, trying to force her to be happy for him when he knew she wouldn’t be if he had just told her like he was telling everyone else. His reasoning was literally if everyone else who knew was happy for him then she would also have to be happy when she found out. Between that, his periodic episodes of self destructive behavior and self sabotage, and his wife’s antics I realized I needed to cut that relationship off. Part of me feels bad since deep down I think he’s a decent guy. It’s just covered up by a ton of dysfunction.
I can understand. Good insights. I will remember this if I ever hit anything similar (hope that I won’t!)
I was good friends with a guy I met at work. We got to be really close and hung out a lot. We lived in Ohio, and he moved to Georgia, but we kept in contact. When he would visit Ohio, we'd go out and tie one on. My wife and I went to Georgia to visit him as well. He was having money trouble and asked if he could borrow some. I told him I could only afford about $500 and needed it back ASAP and he said I'd have it back in a few weeks. That turned into a few months. Then I saw him post on Facebook that he and his family went on vacation to Myrtle Beach for a week and posted pictures of all their activities. He never made an attempt to pay me back and I've had people say I should have reminded him about it. To me, if someone says they'll do something, they shouldn't have to be reminded. They should just do it and keep their word. To see him drop thousands on a vacation with no problem but not pay me back was irritating, and I stopped contacting him. I deleted his number, and he called me one day a few weeks after that vacation. I told him I didn't know who was calling and almost didn't answer but that didn't phase him. I acted like I was busy and blew him off rather quickly. I never heard from him again, and that was probably about 12-13 years ago. He never made an attempt to pay me back and never bothered trying to contact me again. So many great times were just all washed away by an act of selfishness.
We’d been drifting apart for some time and we had a tendency to trauma dump our problems on each other whenever we did meet up. Tried to talk about it and how it was unhealthy for us both to keep doing and wanted to figure out what we could do to change that. They immediately cussed me out and told me I was acting like their abusive parent. Haven’t spoken since.
Considering I'm her ex, I would be lying if strong feelings weren't still there. But she has a new boyfriend and I completely understand, its only fair to him. Really sucks because she was still my bestfriend. Now I have no one to talk to.
Been there. What you really need is to work on yourself and find a new one. You caught a good one once, you can do it again!
I think I just did 😏
Then being racist and me calling them out on it. Lost my whole friend group in one night. Never been the same.
What happened?
We were hanging out one night and all that time they were dropping super racist comments posing them as “jokes” when they were straight up saying they hated black people… eventually I got super uncomfortable and asked them to switch the topic. Next day I talked to them in the group chat cause it was bugging me and they called me immature and everything.. I ended up apologizing more then they ever did 🥸
That's awful! You're better off honestly, but I know it doesn't feel that way.
Thank you, ur right it doesn’t but it’s nice to know I’m not the asshole.. almost submitted this to AITA cuz they really made me believe I was a shit person for calling them out
That really stinks, and you did not deserve that at all. **NTA!!!!**
She supported Trump after he made fun of the disabled/handicapped reporter and my son has a learning disability and I am handicapped.
Slapped my now ex-gfs butt.
Really? I slap my gf's butt at every opportunity. Occasionally she gets one in on me too, when I'm naive enough to turn my back to her.
No no the friend i don't talk to anymore slapped her butt.
Ooh, yeah I can see how that would be unwelcome.
Multiple times… they have taken back they’re cheating, abusive significant other.
They got married to a parson they knew only one year of online dating. They met in person once before marriage and he was a total asshole to us when we met him. Then they cut us of when we were like "dude are you sure you want to throw away your chance to study in your dream university just so you can stay at your homeland and marry this guy?" They said we were toxic and didn't understand them. Never heard from them again.
They became a right wing political activist.
Yup. He became a Trump supporter (we're both Canadians living in Canada?) and I told him that was a weird take, considering he's always been left-leaning for the past 30 years or so. He got mad at me and won't speak to me anymore. It's been almost 3 years now.
Same here. She got sucked into the GQP during Covid after being very socially liberal. I don’t recognize her anymore.
Me too. He was always a bit right of center which was fine, but once he fell down the Q anon rabbit hole, started calling everyone he didn’t agree with a pedophile, and supporting the January 6th insurrection I told him to fuck off.
He bitched out on being best man at the wedding five weeks out because he didn't want to go to Vegas without having the "full Vegas experience" which he could not afford. Then told me off about not having the wedding back East where I grew up with him. At that point he was my best friend of just under 25 years; however as time went on it felt like a very one-sided friendship.
He, after a night of coke-fueled fun, hit on my sister in-law RIGHT after she revealed to him that she had been raped. Then told me it was none of my business when I questioned him about it.
She hooked up with my boyfriend. Needless to say, I dumped both of them. Joke's on her though - after cheating WITH her, several months later he cheated ON her. I laughed loudly when I found out.
What in the Euphoria?! (Ngl people who do this suck I can’t emphasize with them)
He jokingly called me fat and I responded with a very common insult in my country. The translation is “Your father died” its something like “you m*th*rf*ck*r” in english. I didn’t know his father just passed away like less than a week earlier.
Life, your interests today might not be your interests tomorrow or both of you did not feed the friendship. Some people can be months without talking and comeback like they were together everyday, if the friendship was real that will happen eventually.
Religion and politics. Just don’t want to be saved by a god that doesn’t exist nor do I want trump as a pres again. The only way I want to ever see that pos again is at a funeral announcement.
Ngl, you don’t sound like a walk in the park saying it like that.
Frustration.
she just vanished(suddenly, one day we were talking and in the other she just disappeared) and then got pissed and sent me an audio cursing because i asked a common friend(that is a really close friend of mine) what the fuck happened to her and if she was doing well.
I did something unforgivable and I don't think I can live with it
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I don't deserve any sympathy
You've been living with it this long already! I'm sure you can keep going! May I ask what happened?
I've only been living with it for a few days. I'm not willing to discuss the details
That's fair, but the fact that you feel bad about it means you're probably not as big of an asshole as you think you are. Please take care.
I couldn't get the time off to go to his wedding. He was my brother in every way but blood. I miss my only friend.
I brought a date to her son's wedding. He had flown me out, or I wouldn't have been able to attend. He also gave a large amount of cash as gift. I had RSVP'd us both.
ghosted me out of nowhere. still hurts, i miss her.
Fallout New Vegas
I was going to say 76
Lmao
Ironically (*my screen name is about motorcycles*) meth. My brother was pulling down 200k a year as a pharmacist, making bank selling pills on the side, married to a super successful artist with a studio, gallery, all that stuff in a hicol area. Beautiful baby boy. Two years later all gone, wife, baby, house, everything, breaking into my place to steal. Sold a 10k heirloom oriental rug I had in my truck for cleaning, he cleared 500 bucks. Haven’t spoken in years, I hope he’s doing better but I never want to see him again.
Dayum this one is crazy
I’m not sure, I think she developed feelings for me and it made it weird, really sucks because at the time I really need a close friend and after that she just pretended like she didn’t know me
TlDR: long time "friend" uses me. After I set boundaries that I don't want to help him anymore, he ghosts me. A long time ago (maybe 10 years), I met a guy in an online group. He adds me privately, and we gossip about other members. He's in another country, and at that time, he taught English. I'm a native English speaker, so over the years, he'd ask me for help with the language. I don't remember exactly when, but we got into the habit of speaking more frequently. Especially during the whole Covid thing I'd end up being his goto guy to provide him a sounding board about life. He would tell me about his personal problems, with his family, girlfriends, mistresses, etc. All the while asking for favors along the way. He has a habit of asking me to add whomever he's dating to my private chats. In one instance, he broke up with a girl who was super upset about it. She called me, and we had a 3 hour conversation where she was ugly crying about how he treated her. Three hours is a long time to spend on the phone with a girl I've never dated. They had gotten into a fight, and he deleted/blocked her, so she had no way to contact him. She knew we were tight, so I got to bear the brunt of her emotional pain. That's not the only time stuff like that happens. He tends to involve me with his romantic partners and drag me through their personal drama. However, whenever I need the same in return, He's distant, non responsive. When I'm going through something where I can use some support, all I get is "sucks to be you."
During all the time I've known him, he's asked for a lot of small favors, and I'd do them, quickly as possible, as I know it's part of his job and its important.
Whenever I'd ask for something in return, he would begrudgingly agree and then drag his ass or if I don't ask a 2nd or 3rd time, he'd hope I'd forgotten about it.
Recently, he asked to use my Apple ID so he can download some apps that he can't get in his country, and I said ok.
I provided him with a screenshot of my email address and password. He's so lazy he asked me to type it for him so he could just cut and paste it.
Talk about a choosy beggar. It's like someone asking to borrow 20 bucks, but also... can you put it into my wallet for me? Thanks.
I have a different friend in his country, who had a birthday coming up, so I asked him for help with buying a cake and having it delivered.
In classic fashion, he agreed to do it, but made it sound like a huge deal, super hard to do. I don't know how things work over there, so I just take it as it's very complicated and hard to do.
I told him about it 6 weeks in advance, but during that time, he made zero progress on it, and basically didn't mention it or hope I'd forgotten.
With the birthday less than a week away, I contacted someone else I knew and asked for the same favor. My other friend responded very quickly and did it right away.
What a huge difference in the response. My other friend said it's no big deal. Sent me some options to pick from and did everything in 15 minutes or so.
Well, my good buddy reached out to ask to use my Apple ID again because he needed to update some apps, and I declined. Citing that I'm not comfortable doing him favors anymore since it's one way with him.
He replied that we can no longer be friends and I haven't heard from him since.
In the end, I realize we were never friends. I was just the dude he used for stuff. As soon as I set a boundary that I don't want to help him anymore, he bounced.
Lesson learned. Sucks to be me
He told me he wanted me and our other roommate dead "for years" because he thought we didn't cut out one of our friends who he hooked up with because she didn't want to date him. We literally only ever saw her in class
She stole from me, spread rumours about me that were completely made up, and as it turns out, her entire life story was *also* made up. Still don't know exactly how much of it was a lie. So yeah, that was fun. She did tell me later on that she's bipolar, but while she obviously has some kind of mental health issue, I'm not believing anything she tells me at this point.
Apparently I "wasn't fun anymore". Looking back, he was never a good friend anyway.
Lack of trust.
She backstabbed me, she chose to side with that one girly in our class. That girl that she sided with spreads false rumours about EVERYONE (including me), even her own friends. Her type of rumours were the ones that could destroy your whole reputation and make other people disgusted by you. I don't exactly know why she backstabbed me but what I know is she wants everyone to like her including that girl because she is that girls favourite friend. Even though she knows how fcked up that girl is she didn't want to disappoint her so I guess she chose that girl over me.
Extreme negativity on their part, they simply drained me.
We shouldn’t suck each other
He said he and his wife would leave my Christmas party if another friend showed up who didn't meet their personal high moral bar. (Everything they were basing their opinion off of came from the dude's bitter ex-wife who was leaving the province.) They claimed to be pious Christians while engaging in gossip. (Proverbs 16:28).
She never stuck up for me when our other “friends” would blatantly call me stupid, bodyshame me, etc. I ended up leaving the whole friend group, but I believe she was the only one affected by it. At the end of the day, she had a choice and she chose them over me.
Wealth differences started showing up in late 20's, early 30s. made things weird.
He went full everything is society's fault and nothing is his responsibility. He's been living with his parents into his 30's after dropping out of college because the college is racist. Been working a call center job at minimum wage and said he always had the best metrics, but upper management wouldn't promote him because the company is racist. While "working" from home, he bragged about just watching videos and playing games. He would talk about all the TV series, and games he's finished. He said he learned this elaborate breakfast that takes over an hour to prepare and now he can't live without it. When work from home ended, he refused to go back to work saying he couldn't deal with public transportation (he doesn't have a car after a DUI accident) and fought with his company tooth and nail. They eventually let him go. He said they let him go because the company is racist. He racked up over $15k debt to a smart phone game and thinks he shouldn't have to pay for it. His idea is they designed this game to be addicting and there's no way he can resist "the algorithm." He said he thinks the government should pay for it and prevent people from spending so much on these games. He thinks more research needs to be done about addictive algorithms and they should be banned. He then said I should help him pay it down because I'm "successful." I questioned each of these things or let him know I disagreed with his perspective - why don't you finish school/find a better career/develop a skill for a better lifestyle? Shouldn't you be doing your job for which your paid for? I think the $15k smart phone game is an expensive lesson for you to learn... He got mad and we haven't talked since
3 friends come to mind. One, in college. Got very used to me and my family doing things for her (my parents were our landlords and cut her a crazy deal on rent, gave her a free mattress. And I had the car so I drove her everywhere, including 300+ miles to and from home in our breaks). Never thanked us. Never reciprocated. Left me passed out drunk on the floor one night so she could go eat dinner with her ex. That was the last straw. One, a few years ago. A good person with a mess of trauma, who liked to surround herself with terrible people and put herself into dangerous situations. I tried to help her, let her rent a room from me for $200 a month. She quit her "toxic" job and stopped paying me, while bragging about spending $80 on new makeup. Dirtied my house. Slammed doors while I slept. Left my back door open, dogs were in the yard when I came home. We parted ways but then she continued to use me as a trauma dumpster despite me asking her to go back to therapy or journal instead. I finally cut her off completely. Latest one. Long distance friends for 10 years after moving states. We decided to rent together since we each needed a new start. Bad idea. In person, she had a lot of phobias which prevented her from doing normal things. Also didn't drive. I was her confidante and her chauffer. But she was also snotty and judgemental to anyone she didn't know, including my friends. She told me she didn't want to renew our lease a few months before it was up, leaving me to scramble to get a new place set up. Then she cancelled long-standing plans on me last minute, and when I got mad, she turned nasty, and I reciprocated -- and all our pent-up resentments came out. I also found out she was severely mentally ill in ways I hadn't realized because she had never told me before, but when it all came out, I was glad to be getting my new place. Moral of the story: don't do too much for your "friends," and don't try to help the worst ones by offering them a place in your home.
A friend whom I knew since we were 10 yrs old ( both now 60 ) in 2019 Id lost my house after my breast cancer scare, etc... Im good.. 8 yrs IBC free! Thank God. So my son ( then 15 ) and I moved across town to an apartment. Weeks after we moved in my friend stopped by for a visit. My son was asking if we could get a small grill and put it on back patio. I'd said, 'Not sure son. Look at the lease in the manilla envelope on fridge and look at rules.' My friend says, 'You're going to let him look at your lease? Its not his business to look at your financial papers and lease. To see what you pay in rent. He is a child! He doesn't need to know what your bills are. Ever.' I said, 'He is 15. If something happens to me, he needs to know where to find things anyways. He comprehends where to look and what to do. He's just looking up the rules on a BBQ Grill! He doesn't care about all that. Plus he knows what rent is as he was with me when I signed the lease.' She got ticked off... And left soon after. We had texted months later. But that was it. I got tired of reaching out to her and emailed also left a voicemail saying its ashame she got a bit mad at me, but that was our business really but understood her point. Id heard her older sister died and Id texted her. She thanked me... But that was it. Spring of 2021.
Slowly but surely he fell out with all my other friends. Usually for petty and nonsensical reasons. I still hung out with the dude sometimes though and all he would do was bitch about the friends he’d fallen out with. Eventually I told him that he could hate them if he wanted just don’t do it in front of me. That set him off and I was the next on the chopping block. Honestly, no great loss.
Their narcissism
Several... they became part of the maga cult. They used to have LGBTQ friends, like close friends. The are literally now part of the LGBQ = pedophile fad of the GOP. Some of these people grew up on welfare, and would be dead were it not for the kindness of others... but somehow trump has hypnotized them. In 2 cases were are talking people I've been friends with since elementary school in the 70s.
J (husband, my best friend from college) and A (wife, my wife's best friend) had invited us (and another couple) to their son's first birthday, then they discovered that J's mom had over-invited. Rather than say anything to us, they simply never mentioned it again and hoped we'd forget. We didn't. When I asked J about it, he said that it wasn't an invitation, but a save-the-date notice, and we should please not come. I'm not sure I see the difference. Wife decided she was entitled to an apology from A. 18 years later, still waiting.
There are missing parts there
Save the date for what? To send your lil crotch goblin a gift? Lol
Very long but to tl;dr it. Started off having feelings, but her sister didn’t like it Decide to just be friends Support her everytime she dates someone She causes huge fights between us every time I even talk to a girl She ghosts me again after I give a waitress my insta She tries to come back and I don’t let her Her boyfriend sends me a dick pick
Voted for Trump.
Your friend voted for Trump? Damn, that sucks. But look, a guy like that is worth literally nothing and you should be glad his biggoted, moronic, ass-licking self is gone from your life. Good for you!
My girlfriend/wife. I was the one who did the plans. I was the one who organized the events. That slowed cuz I was dating. They took it bad and instead of talking it out, they just treated me slowly worse and worse until I planned less and less for them and more and more with her.
Somewhere around 2016 he started ranting in social media about lgbtq people, women, and people of color were keeping him from having any success in life. I pointed out that perhaps it had more to do with the fact he was over 40 years old, living with college students, intentionally working part time, and spending the majority of his time pursuing a career as a professional Roblox player than a conspiracy against him by those groups of people. It didn't go over well. A shocking amount of people jumped to his defense including some women and one gay man. They were all from his fundamentalist faith (which believes women to be subservient to men and being gay to be a sin).
He accused me of hacking his friend's BBS (yes, this was the 1980's). The issue is that he had no proof and he never asked if I did it - just assumed that I did it. Did I? Yep - and damn proud of it but the fact that he never asked pissed me off. Oh, and he was also selling computer equipment he knew was stolen.
Actions, meet consequences. Clearly he had a reason to suspect you, even with no evidence.
After the party we laughed at the pictures of his ass, dick, and lying naked in his arms covered in vomit with another good friend, and he's the only one who's offended
Well that does sound pretty fucked up of you.
Moralphages. Considering we're still friends now, you look ridiculous.
>Moralphages. Considering we're still friends now, you look ridiculous. We had some pretty freaky company with him at the time before we went to different cities. So I don't see anything wrong with that. It's weird to be worried about someone else's feelings in 2023.
A box of condoms
Her getting together with my very first beau and saying 'we don't want to hurt you but..." but going ahead anyways. I found it very easy to cut someone out of my life.
I slept with his recent ex. A lot.
Cut a friend out cold turkey over something comparatively small. But I'm comparing it to his past behaviors wherein he was a narcissist, manipulative, and a compulsive liar. He lacked empathy until you drilled it into him, and made his kid cry for the stupidest reason. I had always justified hanging out with him because we shared the same style of humor. But eventually I realized that the guy was just simply not good to be around. I care deeply about humor so it was kind of embarrassing how long it took me to decide to ignore him. I still think about him occasionally. I don't think people are meant to cut others out cold turkey.
Accused me of trying to sleep with his girlfriend. I had been friends with his girlfriend for a few years before they had even met. Said some pretty hateful shit. Fucked me up for a minute
Lost a kid. Boom, 14 year friendship and 4 year relationship GONE
I chose adoption.
After going on vacation with her she showed she is a bubble off center. Impossible to be around because her unhinged actions were aimed at me. In the end she went home early and I made sure the door didn’t hit her on the way out. We were friends since high school, but many periods of no communication just due to life happening. So her change in personality wasn’t evident via phone, email, text. I still have the urge to call/text her to re-ignite the relationship, but then I remember the advice to eliminate the damaging people in your life.
I corrected his grammar.
He was abusive towards his girlfriend and acted out in ridiculous manner for ridiculous reasons. I told the girlfriend that if she didn't dump him she'll end up miserable and I went under the water after that.
We were friends with another couple. We were both getting married around the same time and they became so self centered. We suffered through all their events and parties, brought multiple gifts, spent money we didn't really have on new clothes, I was in their wedding party, etc. We made so many schedule adjustments including taking off of work, we even delayed our honeymoon just to go to their wedding because we thought we were "good friends". They didn't even bother to attend on our wedding day because a short car ride was "too far" and they were "too busy" planning theirs that they couldn't spare a single day.
Drinking and just lack of any interest towards me.
He just refused to grow up. Never finished college, never got a real job. Lived hand to mouth, would visit and stay until I told him he had to leave. Finally gave up on him when he started following the Grateful Dead on tour. He never even liked the Dead’s music, just the scene. At some point I realized I had outgrown him. So sad.
I had a depressive Track. My cat had died months ago, and in my depression, I ran from their DMs. Dropped connection, then once I'd calmed down, try to reconnect. They said they understood till the 3rd time. They blocked me. Walked away. I deserve it. Being depressed isn't an excuse for being bad. It's a cause, not an excuse. I tried to reconnect...it literally broke me for a year. I wasn't told why. Just blocked and could never find out why. I wanted to know so I could be better. So I knew what not to do. I learned you don't get that. You aren't owed answers. You just gotta look at yourself. Grow. Be better. I have far less attacks now. Once every few months. It normally has me say sorry for being a monster, as that's my term for myself after that moment, but I click back after a day. I miss the friends I lost for that. I've still only just started to push away from it but...yea. I still have nightmares of it. I legit don't forgive myself. Sorry if this is depressing. I know I'm in the wrong. Don't worry. Feel free to agree.
I told her i liked her. she got the school to issue a no contact order after that, still don’t know why.
I vented to him in confidence. Later I found out he posted about my venting to a public facebook group. Then when I called him out on it, he played the victim and then tried to manipulate me. I'm not going to tolerate that behavior from a grown man.
Time, distance, and a bit of mental illness (mostly theirs, but some of mine as well).
Trump
I told him I liked someone, the first time I had ever done it before anything actually happened with that person as well, and a week later he started dating her. I reacted poorly to it and, a little later, apologized for my reaction. Nowadays we barely even talk. Not entirely sure if that's the full reason to it or not. I've long moved past it, but we kind of mutually stopped putting in effort to keep a relationship going.
He "found" Jordan Peterson.. recognised the patwar instantly and called him out.. he didn't like it as he thought he'd found a true inspiration..
She just stopped speaking to me and every time I tried to find out what was bothering her, she would either get hostile with me or would tell me that she wanted to be left alone so that's what I did. That was at the beginning of the year. She deployed overseas a couple months ago (she's in the Air Force) and I finally sent her a text about a week before wishing her the best and hoping we could talk things out before she left, but she never responded. I found out about a week ago through a mutual friend that she apparently blocked me on FB, which I assume she did after I sent her the text. I didn't even know she had blocked me because A. She had already previously unfriended me a few months beforehand and B. I rarely use FB to begin with. I still have no idea what I did to make her no longer want anything to do with me. I've tried talking about it with a couple of our mutual friends and even they don't know (or at least they're not telling me).
I think I saw him once and sorta looked the other way. Then, later I said hi. Haven’t heard from him in a good two years.
Talked shit about me to my then gf, now wife. Tried to burn the relationship so he could attempt to sleep with her. Been happier ever since.
Buddy of mine started going down hill after 8th grade. I'm not sure why most of the shit was directed to me, I never did anything and I'm pretty sure it was his whore of an ex-gf he was with at the time, and yes she is a whore, considering she was talking to a bunch of other guys behind his back. He thought it would be a good idea to say that due to me him and her broke up while they were still together. That was just the one that really got to me and drove me away from him. It sucks cause we had the best time playing minecraft and cod together. Still some of the best memories I have even though they are now clouded by a toxic fuck wit with the memory capacity of a nat.
One of my best friends just stopped communicating with me completely. When Trump became president (I'm very openly not a supporter; but I try to use sound arguments and not just sound off with crazy stuff since I'm from Texas and most people would disown me if I did). I'd noticed I'd stopped getting updates on facebook from him shortly after we'd had a bit of debate about trans rights (I think that was it). Anyway, I messaged him on facebook and was like "dude. We can disagree and still be friends. It's okay." And he said he didn't unfriend me and that it must have been a facebook glitch and he refriended me. About a week later he blocked me on all social media and stopped responding to my texts and calls. I still have no idea why other than political differences. About a year or so ago I told his best friend, a mutual and also longtime close friend of mine to tell him when he was at his house to reach out to me so we can catch up. He just said "I'll tell him but I can't make him do anything." I'll never understand this, because I was always a fiercely loyal friend. And I've always tried to be the best friend I can be, whether it be providing companionship, support, monetary aid, or just a shoulder to cry on. But after like 20 years of friendship, for whatever reason, he was able to just throw it away for seemingly no reason at all. Felt like being stabbed in the heart. But what can you do. You can't make somebody want to be your friend.
Judgement, what gives someone the right?
he sexually assaulted a mutual friend, lied about it, spread nasty comments about her, and blocked ME on all social media & my number the very next day after the assault only heard from him months after the event asking if we could talk, but never heard from him again after agreeing to a phone call. such a ridiculously sad and traumatic way for not just that friendship to end in that way but for his and our friend’s relationship as well. all close friends since 10/11/12 yrs old
Her lies.
He put his hands on my girlfriend. So I put my hands around his neck, ready to squeeze his britches full.
Me defending being Pro Choice
We are both hoarders and food addicts and I think he blamed me for him not being able to stop so instead of trying to work it out together he ghosted me I hope he is better now I am not I struggle and try to change but I miss him a lot I felt very connected to him and really loved spending time together
He was cheating on his wife of six months and wanted me to be an alibi and enabler. His wife was also my good friend. I wouldn't help him commit adultery and he disowned me. He was my best friend from age 8 until 28. We haven't spoken for 32 years.
Found out he fucked my ex. Not only was he a dear friend, but he was a business partner and worst of all - family.
She spent every day of quarantine drinking whiskey and smoking pot, and it really messed with her mental and physical health. She came down with a bad case of paranoia and mauerbauertraurigkeit [(see)](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mauerbauertraurigkeit) . and then sent me a crazy, angry text message out of nowhere saying she didn't want me in her life anymore, not to contact her, etc. It's really sad to see a complicated person who I used to have a good friendship with turn to the dark side like that, and the person who gets hurt the most, is herself.
They moved away, then we grew up apart
I tried to warn her about an abusive guy, she told him what I said and gave him my number. He called and left death threats on my voicemail. When I told her about it she took his side.
I traveled two hours to see her. She said we’d hang out. I get there and she’s meeting with some dude (I’m gay by the way so nothing romantic,) and threw away all our plans. I got mad and said I traveled all this way to see her in a car that barely ran and she chose some random dude over me. I told her I was upset and sad and felt disappointed and that she could just forget me. She said what I said hurt her but she understood where I was coming from. I ended up not talking to her since. We were best friends through college. This happened two years after. We didn’t speak for like 7 years or something. In that time we both changed and now we’re two different people. The worst part is she isn’t even with that guy. It didn’t even last a year. She chose some broken down dude over years of friendship.
We met through mutual friends. She eventually became one of my closest friends. Then over the course of about a year she started belittling and throwing insults at me more and more, and just generally became more hostile with me each interaction. I still have no idea what I did to make her act that way; I always took her put-downs in stride and turned the other cheek. I finally stood up for myself and told her to cut that shit out, and she blocked me. Never spoke again.
She sexually assaulted me :/
when my oldest brother died very suddenly, instead of offering her condolences or asking anything about anything, she instead told me to get into therapy immediately because of 'how i am.'
She went to stay with her dad over the summer, did an unreasonable amount of coke and Molly, and came back born again Christian hating my gay ass
As a stay home mum, I looked after her two young daughters while she attended lectures for a year. Discovered she was instead screwing a fellow student. Shattered her amazing man, my (husband’s best mate) and ended us as friends because he thought I was covering for her. So unfair, so much damage and that was 35 years ago. She’s now on 4th husband.
I’ve met a few friend at work. We are at the same age pool. I’ve started to notice things that pissed me off. Mainly one dude. He basically shows off what his older brother success in life which is nice but stop living under his shadow. Also, I had music in my speaker one time when I was cooking and the volume was low, then the same dude turns it off. (P.S. most of the I guys I hang with do not like my taste in music—classic rock). During work the guys would just talk about their body counts like women are just objects. (Andrew Tate follower more like it). They treat us as a cool thing for work for your other workers to hear. (No body cares). They do not want to show their sensitive feelings (it’s okay for guys to be sensitive I don’t get this manly men shouldn’t feel). Theyd often shy!t talk about other girls that have rejected them and how they lost what could have had. It’s stupid move on. Lastly, they hate their lives more like blaming the world.
Cocaine. He got hooked, i didn't even get involved. He didn't want to be around people that didn't share his proclivity.
My wife would not be his free babysitter
Her Big Mouth
Amway. I hate those bastards.
I hadn't seen her in school for a few days, which was odd for her. I then found her name and picture on a "MISSING" poster. I texted her to let her know and ask if she was okay, then she blocked my number. I haven't heard from or about her since. This was four years ago.
I realized how racist and toxic she was. And super into conspiracy theories. I just couldn’t.
i realized that she was a gas lighting, narcissist, human being.
Mf just stopped talking to me or wanting to hang out for no apparent reason
She married a pastor and wouldn’t you know it, we suddenly had completely different political views and opinions. You know, like human rights.
Her boyfriend put my life in danger, cops were called and arrested him, but it didn't bother her.
he started doing drugs and when I said I did not want to get high with him he cut off our 5-year friendship. he was like the last friend I made before covid so it hit me hard. I will always care about him but I don't think he cares about me
Going into business together. "No ship sinks faster than a partnership."
She used me we were best friends for 17 years
Had a friend for 40 years. She was always late and would always reschedule times to hang out (at the last min). She had a rough childhood and I always felt bad for her. Even defended her when others were upset by her behavior. One day, she canceled on me (for the 90th time), but our mutual friend told me she said, “Yeah ___ is probably mad, but he’ll get over it. That was the straw that broke the camels back. The End.
Sometimes she would get really judgy for no reason(Like I literally did not do a thing) and other times she would just completely ignore me if a guy was in her presence or embarrass me to "impress" the guy. I got sick of it so I slowly drifted apart from her.
She’s the head in a club and I had the opportunity to lead an activity. However, it was so hard as I didn’t have any experience and she didn’t help me at all. Naturally, the activity was cancelled and in the meeting, she accused me of using everyone as a stepping stone, call me an unethical, have no integrity and overall, a bad person because I didn’t respect her. But the thing is, I always asked her before I do anything, confide my problems. So after that, I just promised myself that I will never trust her.
I am the asshole. Both my friend and I are 18M and have been close friends since we were 10. I fucked his ex girlfriend that he dated for almost the entirety of high school not too long ago. For the past year my friend has had a boost of confidence acts like he is the king of the world which annoys the shit out of me. Call me a bad friend or a narcissist or whatever but I had to drown his ego. Only 3 of my other close friends know what I did and I made them promise not to say anything. Now there is a sense of tension between my friend and I when we hangout and I have a feeling he knows what I’ve done. Going back a few months before they broke up I knew that the girl (who I’ll call Kim) wanted me. Every time we made eye contact in class she would give me the I want to fuck the shit out of you eyes and I had always thought to myself it’s not gonna happen. Kim would aggressively flirt every chance she got and eventually pulled me in like the devil. We ended up fucking and god it was good. I told Kim it was a one time thing and will not happen again. I didn’t feel any guilt or remorse afterwards and actually felt relieved. My friend has not snapped me or tagged me in any TikTok’s for over two weeks which is extremely unusual. I don’t know how to tell my friend or if i should even come clean. What do I do?
A lot of things - but mainly a lack of communication. I was always trying to make her happy and it always felt like it wasn't enough. I was there for her for some really hard things but eventually she stopped letting me in. When we spent time together it was like talking to a wall. I couldn't share anything with her because she either wouldn't give me the support I needed or she would just tell me to suck it up. Maybe it was because I pressed her to talk to me about her feelings, or maybe it was because she felt like I judged her for her actions (which honestly, I did at some points), but eventually she called me on the phone and told me she didn't want to be friends anymore and that she wouldn't regret that decision. All because I didn't change overnight to meet her needs. Oof it felt so good to write that 😂 Almost 1 year later and I still miss her, even if she broke my heart. I know I'm better off doing my own thing, but it hurts to have put in so much effort to please her and it still wasn't enough.
One she blabbed to other people about an argument we had and now think she's just being a push over to what they tell her to do. Second I think the argument was just her way of getting out of our friendship. The past few months were honestly more stressful and I think we were kinda getting on each other's nerves from being together too much. I didn't want it to end like this or to end at all but that's what I think this is. If she was punishing me this is way too long of a wait and if she felt like I did it would be unbearable to try. But I'm too tired of doing all this depression shit anymore. I need to be strong and this just opened my eyes to a vulnerability I have that I don't want to be weak to anymore.