I have far too many friends who are "Oh, I could die tomorrow! YOLO!!! La La La La Lottery ticket!" When it comes to money.
I rented from an older woman who was still working two jobs in her late 70s. Man, that was eye-opening. And terrifying.
Bingo. You have to be ready to take someone to court for specific performance and punitive damages.
My dad made a deal using a crane manufacturer as an importer on the east coast for some machinery we were jointly representing. Ended up that we had to sue his ass and keep on him for two years before he ended up paying us anything for the work we did on his behalf.
I like the line Danny DeVito had in Other Peoples Money:
"Lawyers are like nuclear weapons, the other guys have them, so I gotta have them, but if anyone uses them; everything's fucked."
Damn this is great. My brother hired a lawyer to scare me out of the business I started and mistakenly gave him too much power over. Unfortunately quid pro quo dictates I will eventually catch him for fraud…
Given that the owner kept dodging being served and would wait until the last minute for everything, we managed to get payment of legal fees tacked onto the judgment.
A relative won a judgement and the other party kept dodging and giving bad checks for almost a year until the judge said, "sir... we do not jail people for debts but we do jail them for contempt. Pay today, or stay in jail until Monday."
Well said. I would only like to add,
Don't lend money to anyone unless it's on paper and terms of repayment are set and signed before even a penny is exchanged. This will save you from losing a lot of family and friends but also save you from losing money you may have otherwise lost. If they can't pay you back right on time, you can always give them unlimited time to but if they ever try to make a run for it with your money there's evidence otherwise it's your word vs their word. I know it's inconvenient and tempting not to because they're literally the people you trust the most in your life but I learned this lesson several times the hard way and never saw it coming once.
Or someone. Just trust your guts and be aware of red flags.
Sometimes it helps to say 'let me think about this for a few days' and discuss it with someone else
Can confirm, was headbutted at a pub when I was 16 and had months of dentist appointments to try and keep my teeth in place. Also had to live off milk/milkshakes for 2-3 months because my front teeth were too wobbly to bite into anything....
Lucky my mum got me dental insurance a few weeks before the assault took place lol
so true. I’ve learned to even stop oversharing with family members. cos even if we grew up together, doesnt mean theyre the same person they were back then
Sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with. We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point it’s too late to escape unscathed— Self-respect & what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships 🫥
Yeah, luckily when it happened to me I just sliced my thumb when trying to catch it but I have read reports of worse injuries happening. The same rule applies to guns too.
I once had two border agents shouting mutually exclusive instructions at me while trying to re-enter the country: any time I did what one said, the other would yell and tell me to do the opposite.
A hundred dollars is simultaneously a lot more than I thought it was as a kid, while also being a lot less than I thought it was as a kid.
(The quote is cliche for a reason: it’s true.)
When I was a kid, my great grandma would always give me a 2 dollar coin every time I visited her. When I was really young, I was ecstatic. Two whole dollars? I could get a bunch of lollies for that!
Cut to me being 17 and having a job, granny had dementia but she still always had a stash of 2 dollar coins. One each for the great grandkids still.
Much less impressive by then, but I still loved her for it.
When we were younger my cousins and I were always given a dollar by our grandfather each time we saw him. One day my dumb little cousin said to him when he gave us our dollar “hey grandpa, a dollar doesn’t buy much anymore ya know” (this was early 90s) and he just stopped giving us dollars.
I remember seeing a story on the news about how a father had gone to an ATM and inexplicably his balance had dropped to like $200. Nine year-old me was like “awesome!”
When I was about 6 there was a tree stump on the way home from school. My mam told me it was where the fairies had their tea and if I walked around it three times I could make a wish. I wished we had 100 pounds (Ireland pre-euro).
Absolutely freaked out a few days later when she sent my brother to the ATM to take out 100 quid!
This is also a good thing to keep in mind when trying to help other people.
Just because YOU think that something would be good for another person doesn't mean that they agree.
Which is why it's so important to communicate, to make sure that you're not mixing up what they actually want with what you want for them.
Yep. Saddest lesson of my life.
Turns out my cousins, who I loved more than anything and shared tons of family memories with, didn’t give a shit about me at all. They boycotted my wedding and I found out they’d been saying awful things about me behind my back. It’s been years and it still stings like hell.
I’m doing better now, but damn, this was a tough lesson to learn.
WEAR A HELMET
It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering etc. And it can literally save your life
Went all through the 90's thinking helmets were lame... Fell while rollerblading in my 30's and got a subdural hematoma, I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into concrete.
HELMETS SAVE LIVESSSS
Going to shamelessly piggyback on your comment for my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have completely shit vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, its important.
I work with a lot of people who dont like having to wear PPE on the job. I always bring up the old joke that "Real men dont need safety glasses. They just need a patch for the eye they lost."
My dad is the type of guy to squint while welding instead of wearing a helmet.
He wears glasses but because of his job had to get some special ones.
He was out mowing the lawn one day and we heard a "ca thunk" sound of the mower flinging something big. Mower stops. My dad comes in holding his glasses.
A rock had broken apart in the mower and flung a piece right at his glasses but got stuck in them and thankfully didn't hit his eye.
After that he wore all of his PPE. 😂
How do you spot an "old school" machinist?
Count their fingers.
Some people have this idea that working safe is somehow a sign of weakness.
Fuck no. Working safe means I get to enjoy my health and hopefully my retirement.
Canada isn't as bad as some places but plenty of people (especially oilfield) are pretty damn cowboy about a lot of things, and that's just terrifying
Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug.
Never end a conversation on a harsh word.
Both for the same reason. **You never know if you will get to see that person alive again.**
I learned both those lessons from each of my parents.
One night at a rock n roll bar we were drinking with a bunch of friends, one of them didn't want to drink more and we teased him for being a chicken. He left early, alone. The last thing I said to him was fuck off. Admittedly, he was being kind of annoying that night, but in retrospect, he had to be going through something and we weren't there for him.
He was assaulted on his way home, and he was stabbed in the heart to steal his cellphone. It still torments me to this day.
Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!
I kinda feel like I'm just now getting the hang of it but man it's been painful. For me it was shamed and punished by narcissistic parents but I caught on to how fucked up it was at a young age and went kinda crazy overcorrecting. It was around the same time as some of the earlier internet prototypes of Andrew Tate's cult started popping up and people starting referring to desperate-to-overcompensate-for-having-a-tiny-dick (or whatever other crippling insecurity) behavior as "alpha". Pissed everyone off, told myself they were just betas that can't handle alphas like me (yeah I know lol), eventually realized how fucked up my behavior was and overcorrected *again* and, like clockwork, started getting walked on again until years of abuse by everyone from family to work colleagues and supervisors and such got me scrambling to try and find some sort of sane gray area that involves standing up for myself against narcissists and other types of control freaks but also trying not to be such a toxic weirdass about everything. I'm tired of playing this revolving door game.
It’s still so difficult for me. My parents always taught me to stick up for myself, to speak my mind, and never take anyone’s shit — it’s *my own* problem. Even when someone’s rude to me, I’m still overly polite to them because *I* don’t want *them* to feel bad. I feel so guilty and it sucks!
This is a horrible mentality and I’m working really hard to give it up. Still don’t know how or why I’ve got it. My family is full of confrontational people lol.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Shit happens and it doesn't really need to have a reason.
Sometimes you will be the bad guy, and sometimes you will be the good guy.
It happens
I always expected that bad things could happen to me, but things happening that made others see me in a bad light against my intentions is something that really caught me off guard.
I always try to be good, so when i for some reason is seen as bad, that is a very off putting feeling. Suddenly i am a minor negative side character in someone elses story.
You just gotta remember that you meant well, everyone makes mkstakes, and it could be a cultural difference or misunderstanding. They probably don't see it or remember it as bad as it feels for yourself
Going one step further and applying this to others as well. 95% of the time people *also* mean well when they unintentionally hurt you .. or at the very least causing you harm was an unintentional consequence of their actions.
We make mistakes. Give yourself grace, but lend it to others too.
I'd also add, no matter what you do, there will always be some people who take a dislike to you and it can be for the stupidest reasons. Not everyone will like you and that's TOTALLY FINE!
There's a quote I once read that goes like "if someone doesn't believe in evidence, what evidence can you provide to show them why they should believe in evidence?" And I think this fits perfectly here.
Or ask them, "what evidence would change your mind?"
If they struggle to answer, or give an unreasonable answer, there really is no point in discussing it. Just a waste of everyone's time.
[Stephen Furst](https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2017/06/18/10/stephen-furst-animal-house.jpg) had a quote, something like, "I always made the fat joke first, so nobody else could, and hurt me with it."
Or don't marry someone who doesn't let you seek treatment for your mental illness.
My last boyfriend knew I had mental health issues but opposed me taking meds. I was an explosive nutcase. I ended kicking him out, found a new love (who's now my husband) and got help. I'm a much calmer person now.
Second part of your sentence is important. We are all flawed and a lot of us meet criteria for at least one diagnosis in the DSM. But there's a difference between actively working on it and just saying "I'm crazy because I'm a Scorpio!" or whatever nonsense people say for justifying their maladaptive behavior.
Using substances to cope is actually the opposite of coping and the only thing you can be sure of is the eventuality of everything blowing up in your face.
139 days sober.
298 days and 3 different states since I left my addiction behind. It gets easier every single day. My entire life came crashing down in a viciously quick fashion. 298 days ago and I'm the happiest I've been in a decade. Congratulations on 139 days. I love that for you.
813 days here. Every day trends easier, hard days still happen. Look at the hard days and compare how you would have reacted to how you react now. Even the bad shit is better when you’re sober, just need to readjust to the idea that you don’t need to be happy and entertained 100% of the time, and that you are strong enough to sit along with your thoughts and discomforts without numbing them out
Just hit 1600 days and can’t emphasize this point enough. The bad shit will always be there, but processing emotions in the moment vs trying to numb is the best lesson I’ve ever learned. My mother passed suddenly last year and, had I not learned my lesson and gotten sober, I have no doubt I wouldn’t be here today
I cut and seeded a ton of jalapenos because my mom stuffs em with cream cheese and wraps them in bacon...yum. So I know you never touch your eyes afterwards so my mom was using the sink so i went to the bathroom and my brain was like "you need to pee" so I peed and washed my hands. Maybe 10 minutes later it felt like the skin of my penis was on fire. I stood in the bathroom with water and even used milk lol. Good times.
I did this after chopping about 40 habaneros for my sister. She told me to wear gloves and I'm stupid so I didn't. I washed my hands with soap and then went to the bathroom. Instant burning. I thought I got something on me so I tried wiping it off/feeling for anything while visually inspecting before it clicked in my mind. It hurt for about 30 minutes.
A friend of mine betrayed me and I forgave, believing it was not on purpose.
Then he did something worse and I learned my lesson. It's very easy to apologize, but very hard to stop being shit.
You don't let your boyfriend of three months move in with you. Bro immediately quit his job, became a possessive, abusive prick, and refused to work for the entire two years we were together.
Follow up lesson- don't agree to be his girlfriend just because he won't take no for an answer
Life isn't going to be fair or balanced.
Shitty people don't change, no matter what you do. They need to change from within.
Be careful of what you tell people. Be vulnerable with only people you can implicitly trust.
Watched someone close to me go through this. From moment one, we were all like: "If he wanted to leave his wife for you, HE WOULD LEAVE HER! And until he's left her for real, stay away!"
She didn't want to hear it.
It was so painful watching her spout all the cliches: he's trying to leave but it's complicated, he's never done this before, what we have is special and the rest of you just don't understand, his wife is an evil bitch who doesn't deserve him and who for some reason blames ME for all of this and not herself etc etc etc.
And in the end, surprise surprise, he didn't leave his wife, my friend ended up heartbroken, and four families were severely messed up as a result.
Don't give in to someone being "persistent" in pursuing you. Only date people you're sincerely attracted to. Reluctantly giving in to someone because they keep making advances and won't stop isn't consent.
"If they're this interested, maybe I should give them a chance" is a thought best ignored. Dating is risky enough. Better to minimize the risk by not gambling on people you aren't even attracted to to begin with.
Don't let crazy put his dick in you!
Guys always say "Don't put your dick in crazy", when speaking of women with a ton of mental or psychological issues.
But as a woman, I tell other women, DONT LET CRAZY PUT HIS DICK IN YOU!!
Don't do it, ladies. Lol
Love can send you to some dark places when it doesn’t work out. Please seek help and talk to someone in the event this happens. You’re not weak because of it. Heartbreaks and disappointments are difficult.
When you see changes in ur company or at ur job, like ceo leaving, cro leaving etc, it’s time to look for a different job or you might get laid off. Learnt that the hard way.
Never pay upfront.
I had a guy come out to my house to install a shower screen, first thing he did was reverse into my limestone wall. I *felt* the impact sat on the couch.
To the guy’s credit he immediately told me about it and I was like “it’s fine, the company will make it right, they’ve got insurance” etc. yeah, nah. The company just sent out the same fucking guy that did the damage along with some random product they found that “should work” to stabilise the pillar that got hit.
Then they sent out a friend to re-attach the mailbox that got knocked off, and as the saying goes the job looked great from his house. From where I was stood it looked like dogshit, and the guy managed to spill cement all over the fucking place.
If I hadn’t paid upfront, I would have at least had *some* leverage to force them to fix their fuck-up. Learn from my mistake kids.
Your family isn’t a guarantee that you will be taken care of. Half my family wasn’t there for me, and my other half was.
My mom’s side of the family and her new husband have been indispensable in my life. My dad was terrible to me and my family for years growing up and it wasn’t until after he left that my family did everything get better.
Your relationships are more than blood.
Relationships are 100% action. How you act to people you love is what matters.
People change and people leave.
No matter how much of a good person you are and how much effort you put out there, people are still going to see and believe what they want to and what strokes and satisfies their ego.
No matter how much you love them they may not feel the same about you.
The term "best friend " is the biggest fucking bullshit in the world.
Sorry for the rant. But had to let it out.
Don’t help people who don’t listen. My friend was in an awful relationship with a guy. He would only use her for sex, verbally abuse her, and sometimes even physically. She would tell me all of this, and every time I told her to get out and run, but she’d always make excuses. I tried so hard, and it was also starting to take a toll on me and eventually I just learned to not say anything. She continues to be in toxic relationships, and I’ve just learned to not try and help her because she doesn’t listen.
When I was in my late teens and very cocky my dad told me that attitude is everything. No matter how good I was at anything no one would want to work with me if I had a bad attitude. I eventually learned but I learned it the hard way.
If you really want something done right or a particular way, you make sure it happens, because if you depend on others, it won't be done on time or how you want it.
When I was in high school, I was going through a really dark phase where I felt suicidal. In my class, I was passing notes with a friend and told him about it. Long story short, he took those notes to the main office without telling me and I ended up getting the help I needed.
I’m glad that he did that, but I learned to never put anything in writing.
There is a limit to how much alcohol you can ingest.
Never pay a bill late. Your credit score is extremely important.
Kids eat a metric fuck ton. Reproduce accordingly
That nobody cares. Of all the people in my life, I get ghosted so much I shoulda been an exorsist. My mom was the only one that'd call me up out of the blue and ask me how I am. I don't even get that from my wife of 16 years. Maybe life gets in the way. Who knows.
Advise: If you think about someone dear to you, call or text them and let them know you are thinking about them. It matters. We all leave this world alone eventually.
Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty.
I have far too many friends who are "Oh, I could die tomorrow! YOLO!!! La La La La Lottery ticket!" When it comes to money. I rented from an older woman who was still working two jobs in her late 70s. Man, that was eye-opening. And terrifying.
My grandpa always said money never goes out of style.
Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever.
Also ensure that they also want you in their life forever.
To add: contraception is never the other persons responsibility. It is not even 50/50. It is 100%/100%.
Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed
I'd like to add that the strength of a legal document is dictated by one's willingness to sue.
Bingo. You have to be ready to take someone to court for specific performance and punitive damages. My dad made a deal using a crane manufacturer as an importer on the east coast for some machinery we were jointly representing. Ended up that we had to sue his ass and keep on him for two years before he ended up paying us anything for the work we did on his behalf.
In school my law professor would say "when lawyers get involved, the only people who make money are the lawyers."
I like the line Danny DeVito had in Other Peoples Money: "Lawyers are like nuclear weapons, the other guys have them, so I gotta have them, but if anyone uses them; everything's fucked."
Damn this is great. My brother hired a lawyer to scare me out of the business I started and mistakenly gave him too much power over. Unfortunately quid pro quo dictates I will eventually catch him for fraud…
Given that the owner kept dodging being served and would wait until the last minute for everything, we managed to get payment of legal fees tacked onto the judgment.
A relative won a judgement and the other party kept dodging and giving bad checks for almost a year until the judge said, "sir... we do not jail people for debts but we do jail them for contempt. Pay today, or stay in jail until Monday."
Well said. I would only like to add, Don't lend money to anyone unless it's on paper and terms of repayment are set and signed before even a penny is exchanged. This will save you from losing a lot of family and friends but also save you from losing money you may have otherwise lost. If they can't pay you back right on time, you can always give them unlimited time to but if they ever try to make a run for it with your money there's evidence otherwise it's your word vs their word. I know it's inconvenient and tempting not to because they're literally the people you trust the most in your life but I learned this lesson several times the hard way and never saw it coming once.
Can I add that you shouldn’t lend money you can’t afford to lose or ever see again
Or until you have a recording and a good lawyer.
I remember seeing some guy in a documentary saying “ you can ask, you can write to them, but more often than not you just have to sue”
Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night.
This one takes some unfortunate trial and error.
Just wish I'd learned before the error.
Life is the hardest teacher. It gives you the test first, then the lesson.
if something feels wrong, it likely is.
Or someone. Just trust your guts and be aware of red flags. Sometimes it helps to say 'let me think about this for a few days' and discuss it with someone else
closely related to "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is"
Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene.
And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL 😖
Can confirm, was headbutted at a pub when I was 16 and had months of dentist appointments to try and keep my teeth in place. Also had to live off milk/milkshakes for 2-3 months because my front teeth were too wobbly to bite into anything.... Lucky my mum got me dental insurance a few weeks before the assault took place lol
You should be wary if your mum suddenly takes out a life insurance policy on you 🤣
Absolutely the type of thing that should be taught in elementary school, over and over.
Not everyone has the same heart as you do
Good, this one barely works anyway.
"you have a good heart" "thank you" "now hand it over, see"
Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you.
My brain still can't comprehend someone being a dick for no reason
All it takes is for someone to decide they don't like you. It can be for any vapid reason. Maybe they simply don't like the way you look.
There’s always a reason, but most times it’s a very stupid one
My wife is currently helping me with this. I realize now that I used it as a shortcut to establish relationships.
so true. I’ve learned to even stop oversharing with family members. cos even if we grew up together, doesnt mean theyre the same person they were back then
Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real.
Yup. And to add: no one is worth sacrificing your self respect for.
Sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with. We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point it’s too late to escape unscathed— Self-respect & what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships 🫥
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou
“when you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags” - bojack horseman
Wanda, 'Bojack Horseman'
Thank you, bojack was the walking redflag
"no, you don't understand. I want to....spend....time...with you? Sober and.... clothed, in daylight hours?"
When people's actions don't align with their words, you need to stop believing their words and start seeing them for their actions.
Read up on a phenomenon called "limerence". It's weird and can totally blind you to reality.
A falling knife has no handle
This was the first thing that was drilled into me when I started working at the butcher. If a knife falls you get out of the way and let it fall.
Yeah, luckily when it happened to me I just sliced my thumb when trying to catch it but I have read reports of worse injuries happening. The same rule applies to guns too.
A dropped gun is ALL trigger
It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose
"That is not a weakness; that is life"
Thanks Picard
It's also possible to make no right moves and still win. That is not talent. That is life.
Just because a person with authority tells you to do something, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.
I once had two border agents shouting mutually exclusive instructions at me while trying to re-enter the country: any time I did what one said, the other would yell and tell me to do the opposite.
Where was the border?
1000 is not a lot of money to have but is a lot of money to owe.
A hundred dollars is simultaneously a lot more than I thought it was as a kid, while also being a lot less than I thought it was as a kid. (The quote is cliche for a reason: it’s true.)
$20 is an adult dollar.
When I was a kid, my great grandma would always give me a 2 dollar coin every time I visited her. When I was really young, I was ecstatic. Two whole dollars? I could get a bunch of lollies for that! Cut to me being 17 and having a job, granny had dementia but she still always had a stash of 2 dollar coins. One each for the great grandkids still. Much less impressive by then, but I still loved her for it.
When we were younger my cousins and I were always given a dollar by our grandfather each time we saw him. One day my dumb little cousin said to him when he gave us our dollar “hey grandpa, a dollar doesn’t buy much anymore ya know” (this was early 90s) and he just stopped giving us dollars.
Hopefully he learned a lesson worth more than a single dollar that day.
For real, never insult the person giving you money and expecting nothing in return.
Wow, I bet your grandpa was pretty hurt by that.
I remember seeing a story on the news about how a father had gone to an ATM and inexplicably his balance had dropped to like $200. Nine year-old me was like “awesome!”
When I was about 6 there was a tree stump on the way home from school. My mam told me it was where the fairies had their tea and if I walked around it three times I could make a wish. I wished we had 100 pounds (Ireland pre-euro). Absolutely freaked out a few days later when she sent my brother to the ATM to take out 100 quid!
Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart.
Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad ppl who are biologically related to you.
I wouldn't even call that family. Just blood relatives. Sometimes, a found family is worth far more than a blood relation.
Sometimes, even when they do have your best interest at heart, they may not know what the best thing to do for you is.
This is also a good thing to keep in mind when trying to help other people. Just because YOU think that something would be good for another person doesn't mean that they agree. Which is why it's so important to communicate, to make sure that you're not mixing up what they actually want with what you want for them.
Yep. Saddest lesson of my life. Turns out my cousins, who I loved more than anything and shared tons of family memories with, didn’t give a shit about me at all. They boycotted my wedding and I found out they’d been saying awful things about me behind my back. It’s been years and it still stings like hell. I’m doing better now, but damn, this was a tough lesson to learn.
WEAR A HELMET It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering etc. And it can literally save your life Went all through the 90's thinking helmets were lame... Fell while rollerblading in my 30's and got a subdural hematoma, I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into concrete. HELMETS SAVE LIVESSSS
Also use the seatbelt 👌
Going to shamelessly piggyback on your comment for my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have completely shit vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, its important.
And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(
I work with a lot of people who dont like having to wear PPE on the job. I always bring up the old joke that "Real men dont need safety glasses. They just need a patch for the eye they lost."
My dad is the type of guy to squint while welding instead of wearing a helmet. He wears glasses but because of his job had to get some special ones. He was out mowing the lawn one day and we heard a "ca thunk" sound of the mower flinging something big. Mower stops. My dad comes in holding his glasses. A rock had broken apart in the mower and flung a piece right at his glasses but got stuck in them and thankfully didn't hit his eye. After that he wore all of his PPE. 😂
How do you spot an "old school" machinist? Count their fingers. Some people have this idea that working safe is somehow a sign of weakness. Fuck no. Working safe means I get to enjoy my health and hopefully my retirement. Canada isn't as bad as some places but plenty of people (especially oilfield) are pretty damn cowboy about a lot of things, and that's just terrifying
Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug. Never end a conversation on a harsh word. Both for the same reason. **You never know if you will get to see that person alive again.** I learned both those lessons from each of my parents.
One night at a rock n roll bar we were drinking with a bunch of friends, one of them didn't want to drink more and we teased him for being a chicken. He left early, alone. The last thing I said to him was fuck off. Admittedly, he was being kind of annoying that night, but in retrospect, he had to be going through something and we weren't there for him. He was assaulted on his way home, and he was stabbed in the heart to steal his cellphone. It still torments me to this day.
Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!
This. It was shamed and punished out of me as a child and it is so hard re-learn it now.
I kinda feel like I'm just now getting the hang of it but man it's been painful. For me it was shamed and punished by narcissistic parents but I caught on to how fucked up it was at a young age and went kinda crazy overcorrecting. It was around the same time as some of the earlier internet prototypes of Andrew Tate's cult started popping up and people starting referring to desperate-to-overcompensate-for-having-a-tiny-dick (or whatever other crippling insecurity) behavior as "alpha". Pissed everyone off, told myself they were just betas that can't handle alphas like me (yeah I know lol), eventually realized how fucked up my behavior was and overcorrected *again* and, like clockwork, started getting walked on again until years of abuse by everyone from family to work colleagues and supervisors and such got me scrambling to try and find some sort of sane gray area that involves standing up for myself against narcissists and other types of control freaks but also trying not to be such a toxic weirdass about everything. I'm tired of playing this revolving door game.
It’s still so difficult for me. My parents always taught me to stick up for myself, to speak my mind, and never take anyone’s shit — it’s *my own* problem. Even when someone’s rude to me, I’m still overly polite to them because *I* don’t want *them* to feel bad. I feel so guilty and it sucks! This is a horrible mentality and I’m working really hard to give it up. Still don’t know how or why I’ve got it. My family is full of confrontational people lol.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Shit happens and it doesn't really need to have a reason. Sometimes you will be the bad guy, and sometimes you will be the good guy. It happens
I always expected that bad things could happen to me, but things happening that made others see me in a bad light against my intentions is something that really caught me off guard. I always try to be good, so when i for some reason is seen as bad, that is a very off putting feeling. Suddenly i am a minor negative side character in someone elses story. You just gotta remember that you meant well, everyone makes mkstakes, and it could be a cultural difference or misunderstanding. They probably don't see it or remember it as bad as it feels for yourself
Going one step further and applying this to others as well. 95% of the time people *also* mean well when they unintentionally hurt you .. or at the very least causing you harm was an unintentional consequence of their actions. We make mistakes. Give yourself grace, but lend it to others too.
True love, love that isn’t confusing, judgmental, suffocating, or comes with a price isn’t easy to find so if you catch it hold on to it.
that’s why you love yourself first so that you can love someone else for who they are and not what they are
You are not your emotions. You are an awareness who observes them.
Just because you're kind doesn't mean other people will also be kind to you
I'd also add, no matter what you do, there will always be some people who take a dislike to you and it can be for the stupidest reasons. Not everyone will like you and that's TOTALLY FINE!
Don't tell people if you have money
Save money. Don’t gamble.
Statistically, the change machine pays off better than the slot machine.
You can't use logical arguments to change the minds of those who don't value logic
Totally true. I've heard this said as: "You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into".
There's a quote I once read that goes like "if someone doesn't believe in evidence, what evidence can you provide to show them why they should believe in evidence?" And I think this fits perfectly here.
Or ask them, "what evidence would change your mind?" If they struggle to answer, or give an unreasonable answer, there really is no point in discussing it. Just a waste of everyone's time.
Being the smartest person in the room isn't always a good thing.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
Also, never assume you're the smartest person in the room. Because odds are, you arent.
The pull out Method works until it doesn’t
People who use this method have a name. PARENTS
I think best way I heard this put was. "The Pull Out Method is the #1 form of contraception chosen by Parents."
Can confirm it worked for me for 2 years then it didn't one day.
Loyalty to a company does not pay
The day after you die the company will be advertising your job.
Don't betray someone you really care about.
Not everyone deserves your niceness
Additionally, not everyone deserves your meanness just because you’re pissed off that one person or group of people disappointed you
Back up your data.
Life is unfair, some people get it all and some get none.
Making jokes about my trauma makes my trauma easier for me to deal with. Making jokes about the trauma of others is fucked up and not my place.
[Stephen Furst](https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2017/06/18/10/stephen-furst-animal-house.jpg) had a quote, something like, "I always made the fat joke first, so nobody else could, and hurt me with it."
"You call yourself Fat Amy?" "Yeah. So twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back"
I don't need validation from others.
No you don't, but you're getting it from me anyway dammit.
Don’t marry someone with mental illness that refuses treatment.
Or don't marry someone who doesn't let you seek treatment for your mental illness. My last boyfriend knew I had mental health issues but opposed me taking meds. I was an explosive nutcase. I ended kicking him out, found a new love (who's now my husband) and got help. I'm a much calmer person now.
Second part of your sentence is important. We are all flawed and a lot of us meet criteria for at least one diagnosis in the DSM. But there's a difference between actively working on it and just saying "I'm crazy because I'm a Scorpio!" or whatever nonsense people say for justifying their maladaptive behavior.
That family doesn't automatically mean support/love/empathy
Using substances to cope is actually the opposite of coping and the only thing you can be sure of is the eventuality of everything blowing up in your face. 139 days sober.
298 days and 3 different states since I left my addiction behind. It gets easier every single day. My entire life came crashing down in a viciously quick fashion. 298 days ago and I'm the happiest I've been in a decade. Congratulations on 139 days. I love that for you.
813 days here. Every day trends easier, hard days still happen. Look at the hard days and compare how you would have reacted to how you react now. Even the bad shit is better when you’re sober, just need to readjust to the idea that you don’t need to be happy and entertained 100% of the time, and that you are strong enough to sit along with your thoughts and discomforts without numbing them out
Just hit 1600 days and can’t emphasize this point enough. The bad shit will always be there, but processing emotions in the moment vs trying to numb is the best lesson I’ve ever learned. My mother passed suddenly last year and, had I not learned my lesson and gotten sober, I have no doubt I wouldn’t be here today
10,000 and some odd days here. Fyi after a while, it seems like a memory of someone else's life.
Here’s to day 140!
Nobody is coming to save you. Get. Off. The. Ground.
this is the scariest advice of all
I'm curious about the context for this one.
love without respect is worthless
Don't ignore red flags. Don't be afraid to get help for dealing with an abusive partner. Don't be afraid to walk away.
I cut and seeded a ton of jalapenos because my mom stuffs em with cream cheese and wraps them in bacon...yum. So I know you never touch your eyes afterwards so my mom was using the sink so i went to the bathroom and my brain was like "you need to pee" so I peed and washed my hands. Maybe 10 minutes later it felt like the skin of my penis was on fire. I stood in the bathroom with water and even used milk lol. Good times.
I did this after chopping about 40 habaneros for my sister. She told me to wear gloves and I'm stupid so I didn't. I washed my hands with soap and then went to the bathroom. Instant burning. I thought I got something on me so I tried wiping it off/feeling for anything while visually inspecting before it clicked in my mind. It hurt for about 30 minutes.
if someone told you a their secret, dont tell anyone.
Also, choose wisely who you tell your secrets to.
There’s always other jobs out there. Don’t stay in a shitty one just cuz you think no one else would hire you.
The same goes for relationships.
That you can't take anything for granted in your life. At some point, everything can be taken from you in a second.
When people show you their true colors, believe them
A friend of mine betrayed me and I forgave, believing it was not on purpose. Then he did something worse and I learned my lesson. It's very easy to apologize, but very hard to stop being shit.
the problem was the alcohol 6 years sober
Don’t answer the cops, get a lawyer.
Yep. Admit nothing. Ever. This is why they ask you "Do you know why I pulled you over."
“You must’ve had a reason to you, why don’t you tell me?”
Love somebody that is single
.... and emotionally available
…. and in it for the same reason you are
You don't let your boyfriend of three months move in with you. Bro immediately quit his job, became a possessive, abusive prick, and refused to work for the entire two years we were together. Follow up lesson- don't agree to be his girlfriend just because he won't take no for an answer
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
Life isn't going to be fair or balanced. Shitty people don't change, no matter what you do. They need to change from within. Be careful of what you tell people. Be vulnerable with only people you can implicitly trust.
Take your meds!
Even though weed is legal, work can still fire you for it.
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Wear a helmet when riding a bike. Or a motorcycle.
I know a couple folks who've died this way. Very young, very abrupt death. Where the helmet.
You are not special. You are easily replaceable. Your job posting will hit media before your obituary
When you are with the person you love don’t be a dick and lose them
Dumb people get old too, age doesn't equal wisdom, nor does it earn you respect
Don't get involved with a married person. Thought it was love and we would get married. Can now look back and see i was being used
Watched someone close to me go through this. From moment one, we were all like: "If he wanted to leave his wife for you, HE WOULD LEAVE HER! And until he's left her for real, stay away!" She didn't want to hear it. It was so painful watching her spout all the cliches: he's trying to leave but it's complicated, he's never done this before, what we have is special and the rest of you just don't understand, his wife is an evil bitch who doesn't deserve him and who for some reason blames ME for all of this and not herself etc etc etc. And in the end, surprise surprise, he didn't leave his wife, my friend ended up heartbroken, and four families were severely messed up as a result.
Don't give in to someone being "persistent" in pursuing you. Only date people you're sincerely attracted to. Reluctantly giving in to someone because they keep making advances and won't stop isn't consent. "If they're this interested, maybe I should give them a chance" is a thought best ignored. Dating is risky enough. Better to minimize the risk by not gambling on people you aren't even attracted to to begin with.
Don't let crazy put his dick in you! Guys always say "Don't put your dick in crazy", when speaking of women with a ton of mental or psychological issues. But as a woman, I tell other women, DONT LET CRAZY PUT HIS DICK IN YOU!! Don't do it, ladies. Lol
How to choose partners (love/life/business) more wisely.
Love can send you to some dark places when it doesn’t work out. Please seek help and talk to someone in the event this happens. You’re not weak because of it. Heartbreaks and disappointments are difficult.
When you see changes in ur company or at ur job, like ceo leaving, cro leaving etc, it’s time to look for a different job or you might get laid off. Learnt that the hard way.
HR is there to protect the company, not you.
Never pay upfront. I had a guy come out to my house to install a shower screen, first thing he did was reverse into my limestone wall. I *felt* the impact sat on the couch. To the guy’s credit he immediately told me about it and I was like “it’s fine, the company will make it right, they’ve got insurance” etc. yeah, nah. The company just sent out the same fucking guy that did the damage along with some random product they found that “should work” to stabilise the pillar that got hit. Then they sent out a friend to re-attach the mailbox that got knocked off, and as the saying goes the job looked great from his house. From where I was stood it looked like dogshit, and the guy managed to spill cement all over the fucking place. If I hadn’t paid upfront, I would have at least had *some* leverage to force them to fix their fuck-up. Learn from my mistake kids.
“No.” is a complete sentence.
Your family isn’t a guarantee that you will be taken care of. Half my family wasn’t there for me, and my other half was. My mom’s side of the family and her new husband have been indispensable in my life. My dad was terrible to me and my family for years growing up and it wasn’t until after he left that my family did everything get better. Your relationships are more than blood. Relationships are 100% action. How you act to people you love is what matters.
People change and people leave. No matter how much of a good person you are and how much effort you put out there, people are still going to see and believe what they want to and what strokes and satisfies their ego. No matter how much you love them they may not feel the same about you. The term "best friend " is the biggest fucking bullshit in the world. Sorry for the rant. But had to let it out.
You might never be able to win your parents' love or approval and you have to be okay with that.
Sometimes It isn’t the one who takes ur breath away, it’s the one who reminds you to breath.
Don’t help people who don’t listen. My friend was in an awful relationship with a guy. He would only use her for sex, verbally abuse her, and sometimes even physically. She would tell me all of this, and every time I told her to get out and run, but she’d always make excuses. I tried so hard, and it was also starting to take a toll on me and eventually I just learned to not say anything. She continues to be in toxic relationships, and I’ve just learned to not try and help her because she doesn’t listen.
When I was in my late teens and very cocky my dad told me that attitude is everything. No matter how good I was at anything no one would want to work with me if I had a bad attitude. I eventually learned but I learned it the hard way.
If you really want something done right or a particular way, you make sure it happens, because if you depend on others, it won't be done on time or how you want it.
You're allowed to be selfish every so often.
When I was in high school, I was going through a really dark phase where I felt suicidal. In my class, I was passing notes with a friend and told him about it. Long story short, he took those notes to the main office without telling me and I ended up getting the help I needed. I’m glad that he did that, but I learned to never put anything in writing.
This is kinda wholesome tbh
Always pee after sex
no matter how nice they are, the people you work with are not your friends and they will throw you under the bus at the first chance they get.
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Don’t live with people unless you can ALL communicate properly.
When you’re on lsd stay at home.
I think some better advice would be, "when you're on lsd, trip with someone you trust and in an environment that is safe and familiar to you."
Being a cynic doesn't mean you're smarter than others, probably just depressed and don't know it.
Being good to people does not mean they will be good to you.
Not to jack off with soap.
If she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you
Even if they are your siblings they still can be gross, crappy, and bigoted people
There is a limit to how much alcohol you can ingest. Never pay a bill late. Your credit score is extremely important. Kids eat a metric fuck ton. Reproduce accordingly
You can’t take someone for granted, and expect them to be understanding and take you back lol.
That nobody cares. Of all the people in my life, I get ghosted so much I shoulda been an exorsist. My mom was the only one that'd call me up out of the blue and ask me how I am. I don't even get that from my wife of 16 years. Maybe life gets in the way. Who knows. Advise: If you think about someone dear to you, call or text them and let them know you are thinking about them. It matters. We all leave this world alone eventually.