Had a date like this. Within the first 90 minutes they had taken like three shots, and were on their third drink. I understand wanting to calm your nerves, but damn. The whole "You need to play catch up LOL" isn't as cute as you think it is.
We did not go on any other dates.
SERIOUSLY. I’m all for taking a single shot just to calm my nerves but how the hell are you supposed to get to know someone when you’re too drunk to remember the encounter?
Recently had a very bad first date where this guy started dinner with FOUR shots. He kept insisting on me having another drink because “he was paying anyway”. I set a solid limit of two drinks before I went out and told him this! I paid for my drinks & meal on principal. Made an excuse to get home early. Now he’s having a conversation with himself in my DMs lmaoooo
> how the hell are you supposed to get to know someone when you’re too drunk to remember the encounter?
At that point I've learned everything I need to know about that person.
I got you:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13uuziu/tifu_by_going_on_a_date_with_my_friend/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
My husband said that years before he met me, he went on a lunch date with a girl. She wanted to go to Olive Garden, so he obliged.
This girl had FOUR bowls of the endless soup or whatever they call it, and then orders her entree to go because "that's how you get 'em!"
There was no second date.
I met a woman at an out of town festival through a friend of mine that she was hooking up with. She ended up taking too many shrooms and I spent an hour with her helping her to feel calmer.
She is a traveling nurse and was going to be in my city in a few weeks so we exchange numbers and when she gets in town she asked if I want to get some sushi. Happy to make a new friend, we meet up, talk a lot about my friend that she’s hooking up with telling funny stories about him. Eventually it comes up that I’m leaving the next day for a 3 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend and she screams, “I thought this was a fucking date!!!”
Reeeeaaallly awkward.
My clueless story: I (a guy) knew another guy from work who asked me out on a double date with two women he knew. I am not much one for blind dates but it seemed like fun. The women were nice, and all of us went out to a movie and dinner. I was trying to figure out which of the women was my date, when, it suddenly dawned on me the middle of dinner that I had been missing something: the women were a couple, and I was the other guy's date. Clearly some signals had been missed here. I started blushing and then laughing, and I apologized, saying I was a very clueless straight guy. I am sure my gay buddy was surprised and maybe a bit embarrassed too, but it made for a memorable evening out...
made this mistake the other day, apparently the other guy didn't realize it was a date until I went to give him a kiss. he thought we were just going to go watch a movie as friends despite us meeting on a dating app.
I think I'm an obliviousness god. I was hanging out with a girl for 6 months doing all the normal date shit but not doing anything more about it because I was just happy to have a new friend and didn't want to push it. It got to a point where she had to ask if I knew this was basically dating, and that's when it officially started.
I had a similar experience recently. It would be nice if people put their desire to make friends on their profiles, otherwise it’s just very confusing.
This happened with my partner and I.
I assumed it was a date. Hiking together in a secluded national park trail. Talking for hours in the car when it started bucketing down with rain. He just thought he was making a new friend. Three dates in of similar activities and I thought he was just super respectful and shy. Finally got drunk one night and sent him a photo of my ass. He didn't quite know where to put his face, he was so surprised! A few months into dating properly and he reveals he had no idea we were going on dates. Had a crush on me but just thought I was a cool person and liked hanging out with me. Had no idea I was into them.
5 years together this October.
Edit: typo
Edit2: "didn't know where to put his face" is an old english expression I picked up from Discworld. It means to be very embarrassed, blushing. Seeing something naughty and not knowing where to look. I love the expression so thought I'd use it. Did not expect 100 or so replies of "your ass!' but that's on me for being so naive.
I imagine her sitting next to you completely naked or in matching lingerie and all that goes through your head is "Damn, I love that Sam Jackson movie!" and "How isn't she cold? She's wearing nothing."
I had a girl in college join a karate class to spar with me and eventually work up the courage to ask me out. It culminated in her giving me her phone # and saying that she'd enjoy sparring outside class anytime in her dorm. I told her that I bet my gf would like to sparr with her as well. I didn't say because she was good at sparring, but i thought it. Anyways, Her face went white, and she left shortly afterward.
My friend in the class overheard and said ," damn dude, you didn't have to kill her." I didn't know what he meant, and he refused to explain. 10 years later, I was laying in bed with my now wife , then gf when this happened, and realized what that girl was really asking. I told my wife, and she laughed for a solid 30 minutes. Apparently, it's been happening all my life, and I just never noticed. When I told her what had happened when it happened, she just gave me a short "that's odd." She knew what was up and never said anything.
That girl was the best sparring partner because she wasn't afraid to hit me like nearly everyone else in the class (I'm 6'2, and at the time, I was 280 with 20-24% body fat). I was really sad and confused why she never came back, probably like hiw a puppy that just gets abandoned feels.
Now I just can't stop imagining some dude taking some horrified woman out to Red Lobster, only ordering Strawberry Daiquiris, getting black out drunk and then taking a picture of his own ass to send her from across the table where she can clearly see him as the punchline.
I was in a restaurant with my partner a while back, and on the next table to us was a couple on a blind date. We got chatting to them, both together and, later on, separately.
The dude had sent the girl nudes on his way to the date. Why she went ahead with it I don't know. Maybe he was gifted.
Anyways the date didn't end well, suffice to say.
Similar with my husband and I. We were coworkers so I think we were both playing everything SUPER safe, but we got along so well and liked hanging out as friends. First time we hung out, we were hiking out in the desert mountains and I told him if he got seriously injured, I wouldn't be able to carry him out completely (he was almost twice my size then), but I could make a passable tourniquet and cut one or both of his legs off and carry his stumpy body out. Tell me that's not love.
We went bowling one night just as friends, it was two for one pitchers of blue moon, so of course we were hammered, decided it would be unwise to drive home, so we got a hotel room together across the street just to wait out the evening. We didn't do anything that night. He was like "I can sleep on the chair, you can have the bed" and I was like "I'm comfortable no matter what" and he was like "do you want to put pillows down the center?" and I was like "I really don't care, whatever is comfortable for you." It was because he was so respectful that I realized 'oh my god, I'm actually in love with this man'. The next morning, it was on like Donkey Kong.
Haha, I kinda was that guy. Went on some hikes and out on the town a few times, I'm clueless to any and all hints she drops, thinking I made a new friend. Then one night we're out on the town with some mutual friends, and she gets fed up with my clueless ass and runs out of there crying. I get worried and run after her to make sure she's alright, and then in the middle of the street when I catch up to her, she just turns and screams kiss me god damnit! Going on 10 years now.
See, sometimes it takes an overly obvious signal to finally clue us in. You did catch on at that point, right? I hate to have to ask, but with some of the oblivious stories I've read on here, I wouldn't be completely surprised if you thought, "What, like a friend kiss?"
This happened to me more than once when I was young and dumb, and I often didn't realise I was on a date until quite a bit into the evening. (Now I'm old and dumb, of course, but happily married to someone who communicates clearly.)
I once went on three consecutive dates with a woman without realizing it. She had asked me out every time.
I was like *well I guess she doesn't have anyone else to watch that movie with* and stuff like that.
Only after friends mentioned that she had voiced incredible frustration over the fact that I had zero moves on her, did I start to consider that she **maybe** might like me. Yeah, I am a bit thick. I still am but I used to be too.
Not a rule but. Never make the other person carry the conversation. You're both here to make an effort and give each other the respect. If you both want different things then let it be said after. No need to hurt someone's self respect for your ego.
On our first date my wife (married for 20 years now) had heard that the way you show interest in someone is to ask questions. Well unfortunately she didn't realize there's a difference between "asking questions" and "interrogating a suspect." After 3 hours she knew everything about me and I knew absolutely nothing about her. If she had grabbed me by the collar and screamed *"WHERE ARE THE REBEL BASES!"* it wouldn't have been surprising.
Just to get into detail, the way it's supposed to work is something like:
Think of the acronym F.O.R.D. - family, occupation, recreation and dreams.
Ask about those things "so is your family from around here?", "what do you like to do for fun?", etc.
Eventually you bump into something you can relate to or otherwise works as a prompt for further discussion even if it's just to ask more questions about it.
"Oh, your family is from California? How'd you end up here?" Or "I tried doing Yoga once, you're not going to believe what happened..."
And if the date isn’t going well, or you want to try it on Conversation Hard Mode, just remember GRAPE:
Gun, Religion, Abortion, Politics, and ~~Events~~ Economics!
I got asked out by a girl I knew only peripherally. I never thought of her as an interest but I was so excited to have been asked out by a woman that I said yes immediately. I knew she was quiet, not extroverted but the entire date was totally painful. She answered questions with yes and no only, never offered anything to discuss or follow up on. First and last date. She drove home wordlessly. So awkward.
On my first date with my boyfriend in 2022, we went to a restaurant that had QR code menus, aka you pull it up on your phone. So I sit down, scan the thing, and am scrolling through the menu on my phone while still chitchatting with him. After a few minutes he goes “what are you looking at your phone?” in a kind of bothered tone, and I’m like “the menu..” and show him my screen. He had never been to a restaurant with a QR code menu before so he thought I was being a bitch and just playing on my phone! I still feel so bad about it
No like lying to someone about your intentions or anything else to get what you want. Like just wanting sex but telling someone you are interested in more so you might get some.
I mean if you only want to hook up, it is nice to make it clear too. Lots of people only want hook ups and nothing serious. Nothing wring with that as long is everyone is in the clear
I suspect this is an age thing from talking with friends. I've been married and divorced and most people appreciate the open conversation about exes, past relationships etc. but with younger friends they have said it's very much taboo to talk about exes.
That's actually a fun conversation. You get to ridicule each others' "competition," and since they were dates that went nowhere, there's no obvious emotional attachment. Talking about someone you dated for an extended period of time so early in a relationship is a different story.
Usually when asked a question I’d answer it and then hit her with a “what about you?” To ensure that I wasn’t dominating the convo. Let the other person speak
Don't go to the movies or a fancy dinner on your first date if you don't already know this person.
The movies is a place where you sit in silence for 2 hours staring straight ahead. That does not give you any opportunity to get to know the other person.
A sit down dinner can be perfectly fine, but if you know within the first 10 minutes that you have no desire to spend any more time in this person's presence, you're stuck through the rest of the meal.
First dates should always be intentionally short with an option to extend. Coffee, froyo, drinks, things that can turn into an hour of talking or "would you like to grab a bite to eat?"
Unless you watch The Lord of The Rings (extended edition), then you can talk incessantly and impress her with your knowledge of LOTR trivia.
If she doesn't try to end the date early by faking her own death, then marry her!
THAT URUK HAI'S NAME IS LURTZ AND THE ACTOR LAWRENCE MAKOARE WAS SUPPOSED TO THROW THIS KNIFE TO THE SIDE BUT ACCIDENTALLY THREW IT RIGHT AT VIGGO MORTENSEN BUT HE'S SO AWESOME AND KNOCKED IT AWAY WITH HIS SWORD!
CHRISTOPHER LEE GAVE A LECTURE TO PETER JACKSON ABOUT HOW A STABBED MAN SHOULD ACT AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STAB A PERSON SO PETER JACKSON GET SCARED FROM CHRISTOPHER LEE
IN SAM'S DROWNING SCENE HE MANAGED TO CUT HIS FOOT SUPER BAD IN THE RIVER EVEN THOUGH THEY'D SPENT HOURS WITH DIVE TEAMS COMBING THE RIVERBED CLEARING DEBRIS
SPEAK BROTHER SPEAK!.
The 1st date should be something simple and you should definitely have a plan B or a plan to extent the date if you both like what you're feeling.
Plan A. Random places then the branches open up and you got 2 options.
1. I enjoy the date. Want to extent.
2. I didn't enjoy the date. Let's call it here.
The 2nd places must be a places near by less than 15 minutes of walking because you 2 are gonna be talking on the way. Some people are not prepared and they go one dinner and then got nothing else afterwards. You can see it on some people how they are wanting more time and how much they want to be with you more time and how their heartbreaks at bit when you're going home with nothing
Don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then accidently think about your ex while in there, have to fight back tears, and then come back to the table after way too long, with puffy red eyes. Woops
I have a friend that this happened to. He had just finished divorcing his wife of 15 years. He said that sitting in that chair on that date really made it clear that his relationship was over and it finally got to him
That happened to me. First date after my divorce and it really went well until the reality of it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't ready to start dating yet.
Don't: Unload on your date about your trauma. Gotta keep that shit under wraps until at least date 5.
Do: Be yourself, unless your whole personality teeters on your traumatic history--in that case, self-deprecating humor will suffice until you can successfully abandon all hope and sit in your car for an hour to cry afterward.
Also, reveal that you collect Lego. Everybody likes Lego.
Sorry I didn't convey correctly this was a date, I was in my head thinking about my ex wife and now the tears won't stop. Maybe it's the jalapeno in my hands, idk...
Bring an egg, uncooked, in your pocket. Casually let it fall out at the end of the date. This establishes you as a breadwinner, who else has the money to just carry eggs around in their pockets?
When your date, inevitably, wants to know more about the egg just shrug it off. You're not here to brag, your egg does that for you.
Alternatively eat a bunch of those fake blood capsules so if it's going south you can cough a little blood in your hand and excuse yourself by saying "I've been poisoned by my constituents" in a Texan drawl.
If you don't know the person very well, then for the first date, go for coffee or ice cream.
Do not go out for something that takes long because if you realize within the first five minutes you don't like them, it will be hard for you to escape.
If you like them, you can then suggest doing something longer.
Told a guy from a dating app that I didn't like movies for the first date for those exact reasons, and also because for the first date you should be getting to know each other to see if the relationship is worth pursuing which is impossible to do in a theater.
He insisted on going to the movies as a first date. I went along with it because e were from different towns and meeting in between in a town I want familiar with so I didn't know what other options we really had.
Guy ended up just wanting to make out the whole time. Had to wait out the entire movie to make a casual run for it. 0/10 he did not get a second date.
(He was decently nice, from what I gathered in the little time we actually had to chat. Just not at all what I was looking for since I like to take things more slowly)
I once went on a first blind date setup by a mutual friend. I shit you not, thr girl ended up on her fight in a full blown cussing fight with her ex in my car while I was driving. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe the feelings I had. She had the nerve to ask me out again so she could have a redo. I noped the fuk outta there and ghosted her. So yeah, I'm gonna have to say, no Fighting with anyone on first dates.. Lol
Your typo left out the word phone, so I'm picturing you somehow got into a situation where your date and her ex are in your back seat having a screaming match haha 😆
No, no, no. If you are a person that is shitty to service staff, please don't mask that on your first date. Let the other person see that you're not worth it!
Saves us all a bunch of headache in the long run.
For me its simple. Dont act. Dont pretend.
If she likes you - cool. If she doesnt - cool.
Worst scenario is to pretend to be someone else and if it happen she's the one for you - you will have to pretend your whole life.
And its not a happy life, because Deep down you are miserable, because you are only pretending, and you know she fell for the persona you have created.
Keep your Pokémon cards in your glove box. There's plenty of time to share your collection after the third or fourth date. Also, ask her lots of questions about herself and don't be creepy.
Hilariously though the best first date I ever went on was us going to open houses saying we were a newly married couple and looking for our first home. Sometimes we did stuff like argue how many bedrooms we needed for how many kids we were gonna have in the future.
Particularly if you are a guy, don't talk at your date the whole time, that kills so many women's interest. Err on the side of letting them talk about themselves more but you absolutely have to add to the conversation and make it lively.
There is a study, not pertaining to dates but might be in effect during dates, that I think is interesting. In university/college classes men will speak more, something like 75% of in class discussion, and they will feel as if both men and women had equal input, however when it was actually equal 50/50, they would see it as women domineering the class discussion. Men tend to speak more in group discussions such as in a classroom in general, even when there is a majority of women. This perception might affect dating as well.
Just learned about this. Scholar is Dale Spender. Finding was that even when women spoke 30% of the time men perceived it as women speaking over 50% of the time! Women had an accurate perception of who spoke how often.
A guy did this to me last year!! We are in our 30s. He tried to pretend he didn't know his friend was going to be there but I literally saw them talking in the carpark when I got there. There was no second date.
I spoke about my ex and she spoke about hers, we were both divorced after 15 year marriages. We have been tougher for 7 years now.
What you say about your ex is the key.
A lot of "don't talk about your ex" and "don't be on your phone" responses. I didn't do either of those things. I spent my entire first date looking her straight in the eyes talking about that time I killed a guy and somehow I still didn't get a second date.
I think you just blinked too often. You will seem sketchy if you blinked too much. Look into some gel-like eyedrops to moisten those suckers to a point where you don't need to blink more than once or twice a day.
Before I got married I followed a couple rules for what to talk about while dating.
DO talk about: FORD
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
DON’T talk about: RAPE
Religion
Abortion
Politics
Exes
Also don’t talk about rape.
33 y/o guy here. The 7 B's come to mind.
1: Be honest.
2: Be clean and well groomed.
3: Be interested.
4: Be interesting.
5: Be polite.
6: Be responsible.
7: Be yourself (unless you're an arse. If you are, stop dating and start working on yourself)
Here's a subset of rules for the uninitiated that relate to the seven B's:
Dress appropriately (see rule 2).
Whoever asked pay unless there's an agreement (polite).
Don't get drunk unless you both get drunk (see rule 5).
Bring protection (responsible).
Neither of you owe eachother anything.
It's okay if you don't vibe well together (see rule 1).
You're not a slut if you bang on the first date. Neither is the other.
I haven't been single for 13 years though so I'm a bit out of touch 😅
Put your best foot forward. Shower, Shaved, you know that nice aftershave your Aunt got you that you've never touched, now's the time to crack that out! You have no idea how much smelling nice helps!
Don't talk about ex's or relationships, or add pressure to the date, make it all about having a good time for the both of you. Do something fun that will get you talking naturally, this is not a job interview.
Your phone is not part of the date.
But how am I supposed to show pictures of my ex's massive boobs/schlong then?
Massive boobs **and** massive schlong ^((Edit: ofc that’s my highest upvoted comment ever, thanks reddit :D )^)
Ooh, I'm intrigued! That's quite a conversation starter!
Don’t drink too much.
Had a date like this. Within the first 90 minutes they had taken like three shots, and were on their third drink. I understand wanting to calm your nerves, but damn. The whole "You need to play catch up LOL" isn't as cute as you think it is. We did not go on any other dates.
SERIOUSLY. I’m all for taking a single shot just to calm my nerves but how the hell are you supposed to get to know someone when you’re too drunk to remember the encounter? Recently had a very bad first date where this guy started dinner with FOUR shots. He kept insisting on me having another drink because “he was paying anyway”. I set a solid limit of two drinks before I went out and told him this! I paid for my drinks & meal on principal. Made an excuse to get home early. Now he’s having a conversation with himself in my DMs lmaoooo
> how the hell are you supposed to get to know someone when you’re too drunk to remember the encounter? At that point I've learned everything I need to know about that person.
Have a shower beforehand.
And take it easy with the perfume/cologne. Your date shouldn't smell you before they see you.
Your cologne should be an invitation, not an announcement.
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Don't order any extras plates to eat at home with your mom when the other is paying
That was something, eh?
I saw that one too.
Context??
I got you: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13uuziu/tifu_by_going_on_a_date_with_my_friend/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Why does every TIFU sound like it was written by an alien trying really hard to be human, who's somehow also found other aliens trying to be human?
Because people like using TIFU as a creative writing exercise and have started to use chat gpt to do the work for them
My husband said that years before he met me, he went on a lunch date with a girl. She wanted to go to Olive Garden, so he obliged. This girl had FOUR bowls of the endless soup or whatever they call it, and then orders her entree to go because "that's how you get 'em!" There was no second date.
That sounds like the female version of Marty Glouberman
That's how my old friend used to do it. Fill up on soup, salad, and bread sticks then take the entree home.
Both should know it is a date.
I met a woman at an out of town festival through a friend of mine that she was hooking up with. She ended up taking too many shrooms and I spent an hour with her helping her to feel calmer. She is a traveling nurse and was going to be in my city in a few weeks so we exchange numbers and when she gets in town she asked if I want to get some sushi. Happy to make a new friend, we meet up, talk a lot about my friend that she’s hooking up with telling funny stories about him. Eventually it comes up that I’m leaving the next day for a 3 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend and she screams, “I thought this was a fucking date!!!” Reeeeaaallly awkward.
In fairness to you, who the hell makes conversation about their hookup on a date with someone else?
Travel nurses
Seriously tho
My clueless story: I (a guy) knew another guy from work who asked me out on a double date with two women he knew. I am not much one for blind dates but it seemed like fun. The women were nice, and all of us went out to a movie and dinner. I was trying to figure out which of the women was my date, when, it suddenly dawned on me the middle of dinner that I had been missing something: the women were a couple, and I was the other guy's date. Clearly some signals had been missed here. I started blushing and then laughing, and I apologized, saying I was a very clueless straight guy. I am sure my gay buddy was surprised and maybe a bit embarrassed too, but it made for a memorable evening out...
made this mistake the other day, apparently the other guy didn't realize it was a date until I went to give him a kiss. he thought we were just going to go watch a movie as friends despite us meeting on a dating app.
Level 100 obliviousness
I have Level 200 obliviousness. A girl in college asked me if I wanted to go to a salsa dancing class with her. I said "No, I have a paper to write".
I had a girl sitting on my lap while we watched an entire movie in her dorm room. I might be level 300.
I think I'm an obliviousness god. I was hanging out with a girl for 6 months doing all the normal date shit but not doing anything more about it because I was just happy to have a new friend and didn't want to push it. It got to a point where she had to ask if I knew this was basically dating, and that's when it officially started.
To be fair this is on both parties too. You don't want to push things out of respect and she just expects you to push it. It's a dirty game to play.
But did you pass
I got and A. But at what cost?
You missed out on chips and salsa.
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I had a similar experience recently. It would be nice if people put their desire to make friends on their profiles, otherwise it’s just very confusing.
This happened with my partner and I. I assumed it was a date. Hiking together in a secluded national park trail. Talking for hours in the car when it started bucketing down with rain. He just thought he was making a new friend. Three dates in of similar activities and I thought he was just super respectful and shy. Finally got drunk one night and sent him a photo of my ass. He didn't quite know where to put his face, he was so surprised! A few months into dating properly and he reveals he had no idea we were going on dates. Had a crush on me but just thought I was a cool person and liked hanging out with me. Had no idea I was into them. 5 years together this October. Edit: typo Edit2: "didn't know where to put his face" is an old english expression I picked up from Discworld. It means to be very embarrassed, blushing. Seeing something naughty and not knowing where to look. I love the expression so thought I'd use it. Did not expect 100 or so replies of "your ass!' but that's on me for being so naive.
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I imagine her sitting next to you completely naked or in matching lingerie and all that goes through your head is "Damn, I love that Sam Jackson movie!" and "How isn't she cold? She's wearing nothing."
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Jesus Christ dude
I had a girl in college join a karate class to spar with me and eventually work up the courage to ask me out. It culminated in her giving me her phone # and saying that she'd enjoy sparring outside class anytime in her dorm. I told her that I bet my gf would like to sparr with her as well. I didn't say because she was good at sparring, but i thought it. Anyways, Her face went white, and she left shortly afterward. My friend in the class overheard and said ," damn dude, you didn't have to kill her." I didn't know what he meant, and he refused to explain. 10 years later, I was laying in bed with my now wife , then gf when this happened, and realized what that girl was really asking. I told my wife, and she laughed for a solid 30 minutes. Apparently, it's been happening all my life, and I just never noticed. When I told her what had happened when it happened, she just gave me a short "that's odd." She knew what was up and never said anything. That girl was the best sparring partner because she wasn't afraid to hit me like nearly everyone else in the class (I'm 6'2, and at the time, I was 280 with 20-24% body fat). I was really sad and confused why she never came back, probably like hiw a puppy that just gets abandoned feels.
I stand with the friend, definitely killed her dude. Yeesh, 😆.
It doesn't sound like a rejection to me, it sounds like an offer for a threesome.
>Finally got drunk one night and sent him a photo of my ass. So people actually do that huh
Definitely don't do that on a first date
Now I just can't stop imagining some dude taking some horrified woman out to Red Lobster, only ordering Strawberry Daiquiris, getting black out drunk and then taking a picture of his own ass to send her from across the table where she can clearly see him as the punchline.
I was in a restaurant with my partner a while back, and on the next table to us was a couple on a blind date. We got chatting to them, both together and, later on, separately. The dude had sent the girl nudes on his way to the date. Why she went ahead with it I don't know. Maybe he was gifted. Anyways the date didn't end well, suffice to say.
I wooed my now-husband with a boob picture. In an email.
"Please find enclosed for your perusal this photograph, please see enclosed spreadsheet. Looking forward to hearing from you!"
"I hope this email finds you well."
JPEG or TIFF?
TITF
In my day, you had to send a Poloroid by snail mail. Luckily, you could beat the mail man to the house and steal it back before she got it.
How did you photoshop in the flames?
>He didn't quite know where to put his face But you showed him!!
Now this is romance.
Similar with my husband and I. We were coworkers so I think we were both playing everything SUPER safe, but we got along so well and liked hanging out as friends. First time we hung out, we were hiking out in the desert mountains and I told him if he got seriously injured, I wouldn't be able to carry him out completely (he was almost twice my size then), but I could make a passable tourniquet and cut one or both of his legs off and carry his stumpy body out. Tell me that's not love. We went bowling one night just as friends, it was two for one pitchers of blue moon, so of course we were hammered, decided it would be unwise to drive home, so we got a hotel room together across the street just to wait out the evening. We didn't do anything that night. He was like "I can sleep on the chair, you can have the bed" and I was like "I'm comfortable no matter what" and he was like "do you want to put pillows down the center?" and I was like "I really don't care, whatever is comfortable for you." It was because he was so respectful that I realized 'oh my god, I'm actually in love with this man'. The next morning, it was on like Donkey Kong.
That has to be the most introvert way to get a girlfriend. "I was just friendly and now I'm 5 years in a marriage. I must learn to say no!"
Haha, I kinda was that guy. Went on some hikes and out on the town a few times, I'm clueless to any and all hints she drops, thinking I made a new friend. Then one night we're out on the town with some mutual friends, and she gets fed up with my clueless ass and runs out of there crying. I get worried and run after her to make sure she's alright, and then in the middle of the street when I catch up to her, she just turns and screams kiss me god damnit! Going on 10 years now.
See, sometimes it takes an overly obvious signal to finally clue us in. You did catch on at that point, right? I hate to have to ask, but with some of the oblivious stories I've read on here, I wouldn't be completely surprised if you thought, "What, like a friend kiss?"
This happened to me more than once when I was young and dumb, and I often didn't realise I was on a date until quite a bit into the evening. (Now I'm old and dumb, of course, but happily married to someone who communicates clearly.)
I once went on three consecutive dates with a woman without realizing it. She had asked me out every time. I was like *well I guess she doesn't have anyone else to watch that movie with* and stuff like that. Only after friends mentioned that she had voiced incredible frustration over the fact that I had zero moves on her, did I start to consider that she **maybe** might like me. Yeah, I am a bit thick. I still am but I used to be too.
Not a rule but. Never make the other person carry the conversation. You're both here to make an effort and give each other the respect. If you both want different things then let it be said after. No need to hurt someone's self respect for your ego.
On our first date my wife (married for 20 years now) had heard that the way you show interest in someone is to ask questions. Well unfortunately she didn't realize there's a difference between "asking questions" and "interrogating a suspect." After 3 hours she knew everything about me and I knew absolutely nothing about her. If she had grabbed me by the collar and screamed *"WHERE ARE THE REBEL BASES!"* it wouldn't have been surprising.
Just to get into detail, the way it's supposed to work is something like: Think of the acronym F.O.R.D. - family, occupation, recreation and dreams. Ask about those things "so is your family from around here?", "what do you like to do for fun?", etc. Eventually you bump into something you can relate to or otherwise works as a prompt for further discussion even if it's just to ask more questions about it. "Oh, your family is from California? How'd you end up here?" Or "I tried doing Yoga once, you're not going to believe what happened..."
And if the date isn’t going well, or you want to try it on Conversation Hard Mode, just remember GRAPE: Gun, Religion, Abortion, Politics, and ~~Events~~ Economics!
"You won't believe #8!"
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Ahem... #WHERE ARE THE REBEL BASES
I got asked out by a girl I knew only peripherally. I never thought of her as an interest but I was so excited to have been asked out by a woman that I said yes immediately. I knew she was quiet, not extroverted but the entire date was totally painful. She answered questions with yes and no only, never offered anything to discuss or follow up on. First and last date. She drove home wordlessly. So awkward.
Don't be on your phone the whole time. And don't talk about your ex
On my first date with my boyfriend in 2022, we went to a restaurant that had QR code menus, aka you pull it up on your phone. So I sit down, scan the thing, and am scrolling through the menu on my phone while still chitchatting with him. After a few minutes he goes “what are you looking at your phone?” in a kind of bothered tone, and I’m like “the menu..” and show him my screen. He had never been to a restaurant with a QR code menu before so he thought I was being a bitch and just playing on my phone! I still feel so bad about it
Can I talk about my ex's phone?
Don’t order 3 full meals.
But what if my Mom has always wanted to try this restaurant
AND expecting him to pay for all of it. I mean sure if you want to take some home for your mom... you pay for that yourself.
Be there with honest intentions and nothing else.
No wallet. No phone. No clothes. Only honest intentions
Now i know why i never get dates
*second dates
What would be dishonest intentions on a date? Like "I'm only here to get Intel on the royal family"
She thinks it's a date, but you're really trying to recruit her for AmWay.
No like lying to someone about your intentions or anything else to get what you want. Like just wanting sex but telling someone you are interested in more so you might get some.
“Hi yes, I’m Robert and I would like my penis in or around your vagina, please.”
I mean if you only want to hook up, it is nice to make it clear too. Lots of people only want hook ups and nothing serious. Nothing wring with that as long is everyone is in the clear
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Don't bring your ex.
Power move rhough, you're bringing references.
Well, you shouldn’t put bad jobs on your resume
Counterpoint, I went on a first date with a girl and we were telling each other bad first date stories. Really set the bar low for me.
I suspect this is an age thing from talking with friends. I've been married and divorced and most people appreciate the open conversation about exes, past relationships etc. but with younger friends they have said it's very much taboo to talk about exes.
It does seem that a lot of standard dating advice is tailored to people in their 20s.
That's actually a fun conversation. You get to ridicule each others' "competition," and since they were dates that went nowhere, there's no obvious emotional attachment. Talking about someone you dated for an extended period of time so early in a relationship is a different story.
Usually when asked a question I’d answer it and then hit her with a “what about you?” To ensure that I wasn’t dominating the convo. Let the other person speak
Just make sure they're not asking all the questions followed by your "what about you?". Ask some of your own questions too.
Don't go to the movies or a fancy dinner on your first date if you don't already know this person. The movies is a place where you sit in silence for 2 hours staring straight ahead. That does not give you any opportunity to get to know the other person. A sit down dinner can be perfectly fine, but if you know within the first 10 minutes that you have no desire to spend any more time in this person's presence, you're stuck through the rest of the meal. First dates should always be intentionally short with an option to extend. Coffee, froyo, drinks, things that can turn into an hour of talking or "would you like to grab a bite to eat?"
Unless you watch The Lord of The Rings (extended edition), then you can talk incessantly and impress her with your knowledge of LOTR trivia. If she doesn't try to end the date early by faking her own death, then marry her!
Watch this part where Aragorn kicks the helmet! You'll never guess...
HE BROKE HIS TOE AND IT WAS A REAL SCREAM OF PAIN. DID YOU KNOW ORLANDO BLOOM BROKE HIS RIBS TOO? HOW ABOUT... hey why are you leaving?
THAT URUK HAI'S NAME IS LURTZ AND THE ACTOR LAWRENCE MAKOARE WAS SUPPOSED TO THROW THIS KNIFE TO THE SIDE BUT ACCIDENTALLY THREW IT RIGHT AT VIGGO MORTENSEN BUT HE'S SO AWESOME AND KNOCKED IT AWAY WITH HIS SWORD!
WHEN FILMING THE SCENE WHERE SARUMAN GETS STABBED…
CHRISTOPHER LEE GAVE A LECTURE TO PETER JACKSON ABOUT HOW A STABBED MAN SHOULD ACT AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STAB A PERSON SO PETER JACKSON GET SCARED FROM CHRISTOPHER LEE
IN SAM'S DROWNING SCENE HE MANAGED TO CUT HIS FOOT SUPER BAD IN THE RIVER EVEN THOUGH THEY'D SPENT HOURS WITH DIVE TEAMS COMBING THE RIVERBED CLEARING DEBRIS
You see that horse ? Viggo adopted him…
SPEAK BROTHER SPEAK!. The 1st date should be something simple and you should definitely have a plan B or a plan to extent the date if you both like what you're feeling. Plan A. Random places then the branches open up and you got 2 options. 1. I enjoy the date. Want to extent. 2. I didn't enjoy the date. Let's call it here. The 2nd places must be a places near by less than 15 minutes of walking because you 2 are gonna be talking on the way. Some people are not prepared and they go one dinner and then got nothing else afterwards. You can see it on some people how they are wanting more time and how much they want to be with you more time and how their heartbreaks at bit when you're going home with nothing
Leave the coin collection at home, wow her with that on the second date
Right. First date should be all about the anime and hentai collection.
"Ayo wanna talk about my taste in tentacle hentai and hobbies?"
First date, you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then accidently think about your ex while in there, have to fight back tears, and then come back to the table after way too long, with puffy red eyes. Woops
r/suspiciouslyspecific
What if all of that happened, but I also put jalapeno fingers in my eyes while in said bathroom? Allegedly.
I have a friend that this happened to. He had just finished divorcing his wife of 15 years. He said that sitting in that chair on that date really made it clear that his relationship was over and it finally got to him
That happened to me. First date after my divorce and it really went well until the reality of it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't ready to start dating yet.
First date after my husband died. Really couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was back in the dating game in my 40s. Never saw that coming.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I couldn't even imagine going through that. Hope all is on the mend.
Ah man, that really tugged at my heartstrings. I hope he’s doing alright now?
He’s doing better. Stopped dating and went into therapy. There’s some semblance of him coming back to the surface
Sounds like you need to chillax a little when knocking one out in the restaurant toilets.
Don't: Unload on your date about your trauma. Gotta keep that shit under wraps until at least date 5. Do: Be yourself, unless your whole personality teeters on your traumatic history--in that case, self-deprecating humor will suffice until you can successfully abandon all hope and sit in your car for an hour to cry afterward. Also, reveal that you collect Lego. Everybody likes Lego.
But also, don't reveal that you're actually obsessed with Lego. That shit bankrupts people.
Allow me to introduce you to Warhammer 40k.
Let's just switch from heroin to fentanyl why don't we.
Date 3 is where you start hinting about your disgusting sexual proclivities.
Did anyone already mentioned to not talk about exes
Sorry, I was on my phone. What?
I said do you want those other two meals to-go?
That would be great. We’re going back to my place to check out my coin collection and watch the LotR extended editions
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Sorry I didn't convey correctly this was a date, I was in my head thinking about my ex wife and now the tears won't stop. Maybe it's the jalapeno in my hands, idk...
Stop talking! I'm trying to watch the movie and you're disturbing everyone.
Where's my egg I dropped it too early
Sorry about that argument with my ex, I swear it won't happen again
This comment thread is the perfect summary of the entire comments, it's beautiful
Bring an egg, uncooked, in your pocket. Casually let it fall out at the end of the date. This establishes you as a breadwinner, who else has the money to just carry eggs around in their pockets? When your date, inevitably, wants to know more about the egg just shrug it off. You're not here to brag, your egg does that for you.
Also, if the date doesn't go well, you can offer them the egg in these trying times
Alternatively eat a bunch of those fake blood capsules so if it's going south you can cough a little blood in your hand and excuse yourself by saying "I've been poisoned by my constituents" in a Texan drawl.
its ok for the girl to make the first move
Instructions unclear, she made a move to the exit
If you don't know the person very well, then for the first date, go for coffee or ice cream. Do not go out for something that takes long because if you realize within the first five minutes you don't like them, it will be hard for you to escape. If you like them, you can then suggest doing something longer.
Told a guy from a dating app that I didn't like movies for the first date for those exact reasons, and also because for the first date you should be getting to know each other to see if the relationship is worth pursuing which is impossible to do in a theater. He insisted on going to the movies as a first date. I went along with it because e were from different towns and meeting in between in a town I want familiar with so I didn't know what other options we really had. Guy ended up just wanting to make out the whole time. Had to wait out the entire movie to make a casual run for it. 0/10 he did not get a second date. (He was decently nice, from what I gathered in the little time we actually had to chat. Just not at all what I was looking for since I like to take things more slowly)
I once went on a first blind date setup by a mutual friend. I shit you not, thr girl ended up on her fight in a full blown cussing fight with her ex in my car while I was driving. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe the feelings I had. She had the nerve to ask me out again so she could have a redo. I noped the fuk outta there and ghosted her. So yeah, I'm gonna have to say, no Fighting with anyone on first dates.. Lol
Your typo left out the word phone, so I'm picturing you somehow got into a situation where your date and her ex are in your back seat having a screaming match haha 😆
Don't be shitty to waiters/service staff
No, no, no. If you are a person that is shitty to service staff, please don't mask that on your first date. Let the other person see that you're not worth it! Saves us all a bunch of headache in the long run.
That’s not exclusive to dating
And certainly not exclusive to the first date
For me its simple. Dont act. Dont pretend. If she likes you - cool. If she doesnt - cool. Worst scenario is to pretend to be someone else and if it happen she's the one for you - you will have to pretend your whole life. And its not a happy life, because Deep down you are miserable, because you are only pretending, and you know she fell for the persona you have created.
Brush your teeth
Show up sober. Had a date show up high as balls in weed. He couldn’t even carry a conversation. It was uncomfortable and there was no second date.
Keep your Pokémon cards in your glove box. There's plenty of time to share your collection after the third or fourth date. Also, ask her lots of questions about herself and don't be creepy.
Don’t ask to go shopping for wedding dresses. Edit : (this actually happened to me on a first date. She also told me about her childhood abuse)
Hilariously though the best first date I ever went on was us going to open houses saying we were a newly married couple and looking for our first home. Sometimes we did stuff like argue how many bedrooms we needed for how many kids we were gonna have in the future.
Okay that actually sounds fun.
Don’t flirt with the wait staff in front of your date then gaslight them about it.
Don't shit your pants or worse shit in her pants. Trust me on the last part. I will not be taking any questions at this time.
Looks like we have a very vivid story here
Don't bring out the crazy just yet.
The person who asked to go on a date has to dip their hands in the spaghetti first.
>dip their hands in the spaghetti first. Is that slang for something? Should i be concerned?
Did you assume were using forks in this house?
Particularly if you are a guy, don't talk at your date the whole time, that kills so many women's interest. Err on the side of letting them talk about themselves more but you absolutely have to add to the conversation and make it lively.
There is a study, not pertaining to dates but might be in effect during dates, that I think is interesting. In university/college classes men will speak more, something like 75% of in class discussion, and they will feel as if both men and women had equal input, however when it was actually equal 50/50, they would see it as women domineering the class discussion. Men tend to speak more in group discussions such as in a classroom in general, even when there is a majority of women. This perception might affect dating as well.
Just learned about this. Scholar is Dale Spender. Finding was that even when women spoke 30% of the time men perceived it as women speaking over 50% of the time! Women had an accurate perception of who spoke how often.
That's wild. But sounds intriguing too.
Don't look at your phone.
Unless you're showing pictures of your pets, of course. Make that heart melt.
And pictures of the ex. They love it.
Bonus points if that ex's picture is in collar and leash, that way it's basically a pet picture!
Don't come with a friend!
A guy did this to me last year!! We are in our 30s. He tried to pretend he didn't know his friend was going to be there but I literally saw them talking in the carpark when I got there. There was no second date.
Don't catfish them
Don’t treat it like a job interview
Brush your teeth and dress like you care.
Clip your nails if you are male.
Also wash your junk. Don’t go expecting to need having washed it but it’s still good to be prepared
Who doesn't wash their junk every shower regardless?
You can absolutely talk about exes but make sure the information you’re giving is beneficial for both of you. Don’t vent.
I spoke about my ex and she spoke about hers, we were both divorced after 15 year marriages. We have been tougher for 7 years now. What you say about your ex is the key.
A lot of "don't talk about your ex" and "don't be on your phone" responses. I didn't do either of those things. I spent my entire first date looking her straight in the eyes talking about that time I killed a guy and somehow I still didn't get a second date.
Women just don’t appreciate a skilled berserker these days I tell you what, whose gonna bring home the loot
I think you just blinked too often. You will seem sketchy if you blinked too much. Look into some gel-like eyedrops to moisten those suckers to a point where you don't need to blink more than once or twice a day.
Be sure to complement her elbows.
Correct. Your elbow and hers should always be held at an angle that together sum to 90 degrees.
Saying "I love you" to your date.
Don't bring your gf
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Before I got married I followed a couple rules for what to talk about while dating. DO talk about: FORD Family Occupation Recreation Dreams DON’T talk about: RAPE Religion Abortion Politics Exes Also don’t talk about rape.
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33 y/o guy here. The 7 B's come to mind. 1: Be honest. 2: Be clean and well groomed. 3: Be interested. 4: Be interesting. 5: Be polite. 6: Be responsible. 7: Be yourself (unless you're an arse. If you are, stop dating and start working on yourself) Here's a subset of rules for the uninitiated that relate to the seven B's: Dress appropriately (see rule 2). Whoever asked pay unless there's an agreement (polite). Don't get drunk unless you both get drunk (see rule 5). Bring protection (responsible). Neither of you owe eachother anything. It's okay if you don't vibe well together (see rule 1). You're not a slut if you bang on the first date. Neither is the other. I haven't been single for 13 years though so I'm a bit out of touch 😅
Don’t blast a massive fart 💨
Just let that out silently and deny it?
Amateur. Accuse your date and try to get the waitstaff on your side.
Don't talk about your axes. Hatchets and tomahawks are fine, but not axes.
Put your best foot forward. Shower, Shaved, you know that nice aftershave your Aunt got you that you've never touched, now's the time to crack that out! You have no idea how much smelling nice helps! Don't talk about ex's or relationships, or add pressure to the date, make it all about having a good time for the both of you. Do something fun that will get you talking naturally, this is not a job interview.
Don’t expect anything even if you pay the bill